1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,520 Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the show. 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:06,760 Give it up for yourselves. You made it through another 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,800 week. I hope you're proud. 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,680 I hope you feel good. Yeah. 5 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,960 I said that the podcast was going to be late, but I'm 6 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,880 recording it very late at night. Well, not that late at 11:30, 7 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,240 but late for me. And. 8 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,800 But I'm doing it for you guys because I care. 9 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,280 I'm committed. Let's get into it. 10 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,200 It's going to be a short one. I know I said every week, but 11 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,960 and I shouldn't, it should be longer, but these sometimes I 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,520 just I maybe it's because I maybe because I like to set 13 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,840 expectations low and I like to blow them out of the water. 14 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,800 OK, really hitting the side effects on this one guys. 15 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:46,440 I had the best bus driver I've ever had in my life. 16 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:52,520 Today I took a bus off from DC back to New York and man was 17 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,680 this lady mean. And that's what you need, 18 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,600 honestly, you need a, you need a mean bus driver. 19 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,920 Your bus driver cannot be nice. They got to be mean and they got 20 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,000 to be to the point and they got to kind of tell you to shut up. 21 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,600 Because if not, people will take advantage. 22 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,200 People will play their music out loud. 23 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,840 They'll take full conversations out loud. 24 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,360 Dude, this bus driver, her name was Ebony. 25 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,920 She was fantastic. She if she ever watches this 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,600 Ebony, you're on Flix buses. You are, you're one-of-a-kind. 27 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:29,000 I saw her close the door in a man's face and she goes, that's 28 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,440 right. I don't she goes, she goes, I 29 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,920 closed doors in people face. She's like, Nope, it's it's past 30 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,960 the time I'm leaving. And but then I guess she felt 31 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:43,080 nice and she did actually open the door for the guy and looked 32 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,960 at his ticket and guess what? It was the ticket for the wrong 33 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,240 bus. So she should have left the door 34 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,640 closed. But man, she was great. 35 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,240 She got on the. She got. 36 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,040 Oh, that's nice. A little bit of water with some 37 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:05,120 lemon, a little bit of water with some lemon and then some 38 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,360 mint lemonade that I stole from Cava today. 39 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:13,560 Allegedly, allegedly. It was allegedly taken because, 40 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,040 you know, sometimes you walk into a place and you're feeling 41 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,080 good and you had a good weekend. You spent time with your family 42 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,760 and then you just, you know, you just, you want to break a little 43 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,080 bit of the rules. So your, your brother walks up 44 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,440 and he grabs a full with the food that you ordered to go. 45 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,600 And then you walk up and you just take your bottle and you 46 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,680 put it under the mint lemonade. And you just kind of plan that 47 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,720 if someone said anything, you go, oh, sorry, I thought this 48 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,240 was water. Clearly isn't. 49 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,400 They know you don't know, but no one really cares, you know, 50 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,280 because they're not getting paid enough. 51 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,480 So hey, big corporations, you want to make sure people don't, 52 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,680 I mean, well, by the way, the mint lemonade probably costs 53 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:56,320 them a cent, but you want to make sure no one is allegedly 54 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,280 taking some mint lemonade that's not theirs. 55 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:03,440 Raise the damn minimum wage is, is what I say. 56 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:09,520 You pay your pay your workers a living wage and they'll, they'll 57 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,960 be coming up to me putting a big wooden spoon to the back of my 58 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,400 back of my neck and go, you, you better pull away from their 59 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,240 partner. You're going to, you're going to 60 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,880 have to pay for that. That'll be 375. 61 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:25,160 And I go, I'm caught, they go, hands in the air, put the mint 62 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:33,080 cucumber lemonade down and I go, you got me, you got me stealing 63 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:37,640 the lemonade. But that's what I'm drinking 64 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,000 right now anyway. So I get, I get on this bus and 65 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,080 immediately Miss. And I think her name was Miss 66 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,200 Andrews. I know, I know of our first 67 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,240 name. She told me her first name. 68 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,880 You know, we had, we had that kind of connection. 69 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,120 Not everyone gets that. But you know, you, you do a 70 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,480 little bit of talking with someone and then then, and then 71 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:58,320 all of a sudden they tell you the first name instead of 72 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,120 because I said, is it Miss Andrews? 73 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,680 And she goes, you can call me Ebony baby. 74 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:08,520 And I go, man. I mean, week is made. 75 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:13,880 The next week is is made because number one, you guys can guess 76 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,600 what she looks like. I don't even have to say it and 77 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,920 I'm not gonna. But you know why my week is made 78 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:30,240 And I have noticed after losing my hair that bald white guys, 79 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,800 there's a certain type of woman that has a proclivity for bald 80 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,080 white guys and she is not white is all I'll say. 81 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,440 Certain type of woman sees a bald white guy and they go, oh, 82 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:49,240 you know what, I kind of like that type of white chocolate. 83 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,760 They go I I kind of like that type of Whitey for some reason. 84 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,320 Seems like he's been through more. 85 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,880 He might understand, he might get it. 86 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:05,280 He's he's he's looked down on in, in the, in all the whites 87 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:10,520 because even though a lot of of bald guys are portrayed as the, 88 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:17,440 the villain, we, we also had to, we had to go through some shit. 89 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,080 We had to go through the, the emotions of dealing with a part 90 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:27,200 of your body dying, falling off. That's real. 91 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,400 Imagine if your fingers just started getting shorter and 92 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,320 shorter than they just fell off and all your friends were like, 93 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,800 just cut them off, bro, just cut the fingers off that look like 94 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,240 shit. You know, your small little thin 95 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,800 fingers look like shit, bro. Just cut them off. 96 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,800 You'll look better with just a nub. 97 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,480 It's not a big deal. Some girls are into nubs. 98 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,640 Good girls, girl girls like nub hands. 99 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,280 There's a certain girl, they'll be in. 100 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,760 Then you go, I don't know. And then you talk to one girl 101 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,080 and she's like, I actually, I actually think nub hands are 102 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,520 sexy. And you go, wait a second. 103 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:06,000 She goes, I think it'd be, I think it'd be, it'd be, I think 104 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,240 it'd be hot if you cut all your old thin fingers off. 105 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,440 I think it'd be really hot if you just had a smooth hand, a 106 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:17,040 smooth knuckle fist and you go, OK, I guess I'll, I'll cut it 107 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,200 off. So these, so, so you know, some 108 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,960 women see that and they go, this guy's been through something. 109 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,640 He's had a bit of an ego death. He's worked through it. 110 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,800 They can tell if he's an angry, you know, you can tell if some 111 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,400 guy's an angry bald guy, he's still upset that he doesn't have 112 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,120 his hair. But anyway, I think I, I think 113 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,160 I, I think maybe she saw that. She goes, OK, I like this guy 114 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,480 and also I kind of talk shit about someone else. 115 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:39,040 Then that's another way to immediately ingratiate yourself 116 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,680 with someone is that you pick out a shittier person on the bus 117 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,040 and then you kind of look at them and you're like that 118 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:50,240 person. So she goes, but First off, she 119 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,800 came in hot. She goes, I don't want to hear 120 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,520 you talking. She goes, you're up front. 121 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,000 I don't want to hear your conversations. 122 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:02,240 If I can hear it, it's too loud. I look at her bus and I go, Yep, 123 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:06,160 I'm with it. And I'm kind of happy because I 124 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:12,920 go, I know that if anyone else talks throughout the bus that if 125 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:16,360 she's consistent, which I think she is, she's going to tell them 126 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:21,600 to shut the hell up and that I hope this doesn't. 127 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:29,680 That is all I want in life, you know, that is that is truly, I'm 128 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,680 going to plug this in for a second. 129 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:39,160 That's truly all I want in life is for because man, I hate it 130 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,640 when someone talks on the phone in public transportation. 131 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,800 I really do. Now remember this is Dylan after 132 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,200 dark. This is a this is a chill 133 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,400 episode. So it's going to be low and slow 134 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,240 and I can't get fully I I don't want to wake up the 85 year old 135 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,800 woman that lives next to me who she is also balding and I would 136 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,800 never say anything to her, but she should probably take the 137 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,440 plunge. So I got to keep it low and slow 138 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:09,520 and chill, but and I completely lost my train of thought. 139 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,320 What the fuck was I talking about? 140 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,640 Hold on a second. You got it, Dylan. 141 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,600 Hold on. People on trains. 142 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:22,080 Yeah, yeah. People that play their music out 143 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,920 loud on trains or take phone calls. 144 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,800 Objectively, some of the worst people in in the world, on 145 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:34,120 planet Earth. If aliens came and were like, 146 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,280 we're just taking people that play their music out loud or 147 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:44,000 answer phone calls on the phone, Yeah, yeah, not on the phone, 148 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,360 like not even on speakerphone. If aliens came and they're like, 149 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,520 we're only going to, they're like, we'll leave you alone, but 150 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,880 we just are going to take people that play music out loud on 151 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,440 public transportation or take phone calls. 152 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,480 I would go, yeah, dude, beam them up. 153 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,040 All of them, all of them. You get five chances to where 154 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,720 you get five chances to where you've done that because you 155 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,400 know everyone. But dude, beam them up. 156 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,720 I don't. I don't. 157 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,520 You've made your bed. God damn it. 158 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,840 I ate that shit. I don't want to hear about your 159 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,400 weekend in DC and how and how how you how you you drank a 160 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,360 little bit with the guru is and you miss your mom so much. 161 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,920 I'm sorry. I don't give a shit about your 162 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,840 mom. I'm dealing with the fact that 163 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,520 my dad sent me a text about politics even though I told him 164 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,080 not to. And, and I'm, I'm trying. 165 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,200 I'm upset about that. So I don't want to hear about 166 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:37,360 your good relationship with your parents #1 and #2 you. 167 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,320 You should be on the phone in 5 minutes or less when you're on 168 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,240 public transportation anyway. So I knew she was I knew she was 169 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,240 going to step in if something like that happened because 170 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,600 people that play music or take phone calls on public 171 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,520 transportation, highest level of assholes. 172 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,880 I don't I don't believe in hell, but if there's a hell, you 173 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,920 should go to hell. You're first in line, Bam, first 174 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,800 in line. Get fucked, get fucked for 175 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,880 eternity. I don't you, you deserve it. 176 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,960 Sorry. Hey, you, there's that. 177 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:07,080 There's nothing, absolutely nothing unless unless it's 178 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,640 literally a House of dynamite on Netflix and you're like, there's 179 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,160 a bit of nuclear launch. Oh my God, everyone shelter in 180 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,320 place. If you're taking a phone call on 181 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,440 public transportation, I better hear the words out of your mouth 182 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,960 within the 1st 10 seconds. Holy shit, they're dead. 183 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:27,920 That's what I should hear. Or. 184 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,560 Oh, thank. Thank you so much, doctor. 185 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,800 I'm cancer free. Finally. 186 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:38,080 Yeah, it's terminal. Oh, shit, I'm going to die. 187 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,760 How long do I have? Those are some of the examples 188 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:48,440 of things that makes it OK to take that phone call, not 189 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,320 someone saying, what else do you want from the store. 190 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,520 And then also saying, how was your weekend, by the way? 191 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,760 Oh, shit, you ran it. Oh, you ran into that person. 192 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,160 Yeah, they suck, too. Now I feel that. 193 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,880 Yeah. No, only person who's allowed to 194 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,320 be on the phone is the bus driver. 195 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,720 And was she on the phone the entire time? 196 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:09,720 Yes in her Beats loops in in her beat beats headphones, I had the 197 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,920 little loop to go around your ear that like they they kind of 198 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,080 come out and they're I they they have to be like 20 years old. 199 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,400 They're the ones that LeBron used to push and I don't 200 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,280 understand why people still have those because whenever I put 201 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,920 them on they really hurt my ears yes so so we start driving and 202 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,720 we're good dude. It's quiet it's so quiet on the 203 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,160 bus I'm looking around. I go man, I love this I'm dating 204 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:29,880 out. I go. 205 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:38,240 This is absolutely fantastic. I love, I love the serenity on 206 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:44,920 this Greyhound bus. So then we get to the the rest 207 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:51,960 stop 2 hours in, we get to Joe Biden rest stop AKA Dark Brandon 208 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,600 rest stop. We get to the Dark Brandon rest 209 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,200 stop and she says you have 15 minutes. 210 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,760 And then after that, I'm leaving. 211 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,600 She goes, I remember none of your faces except my 2 shotguns. 212 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,760 And then she points at me. She goes, I remember their faces 213 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,080 because they're right here. And so then I'm obviously I feel 214 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,440 special. I got yeah, that's right. 215 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,760 Of course you remember my face. Thank you, Ebony. 216 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:20,080 And until we get out, go to the bathroom, get a snack. 217 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,640 Because I mean, dude, if you're stopping at a gas station and 218 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,080 you don't get a snack, what are you doing? 219 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,120 You're, you're leading to the economy feeling the American 220 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:34,840 economy runs on people going to get gas and then going inside 221 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,760 the gas station shop and getting themselves a little treat. 222 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,680 That is what the economy runs on. 223 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,800 And if you are not participating, you are a bad 224 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,360 American. You're not a patriot and you 225 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,520 want people to lose their jobs. I truly believe that. 226 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:56,400 How do you, I could, I could stop at 10 different gas 227 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,040 stations and have just gotten a treat and or a drink. 228 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,120 I'll still go in and I'll still spend 15 minutes going up and 229 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,840 down the aisles and then looking at the walls of drinks, taking 230 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:14,800 probably enough power to to literally run a hospital in 231 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,320 major cities in other countries. And I just go, yeah, I'm just 232 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,280 going to look at all this. This is absolutely fantastic. 233 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,520 And then I'm going to buy something and doesn't matter if 234 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,440 I've had enough caffeine and it doesn't matter if I'm full. 235 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,520 I'm buying something because I'm stimulating the economy and I 236 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,880 care about consumerism in America and I care that Henry 237 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,880 Ford absolutely fucked us when it came to public transportation 238 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,040 and I've given in. So I'm going to the gas station 239 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:46,560 and I'm buying a chocolate bar that has enough caffeine as 3 240 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,000 espresso shots in it. I'm buying new gummy candy that 241 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,640 I don't need because I'm pre diabetic. 242 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,320 It doesn't matter. I'm doing, I'm participating in 243 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,440 society. This is a social contract. 244 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,840 I've signed it and that is me cashing it. 245 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,880 Well, technically I'm giving the cash to the cashier, but you 246 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:11,640 know what I mean? And to the people watching, 247 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,960 first of all, OK, we're only 15 minutes in, so you guys will be 248 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,520 listening, you know, because I know some of you like, you know, 249 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,440 the last five minutes are like our little podcast is done. 250 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,880 I'm just going to finish and they don't hear me at the end 251 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,680 being like, remember to rate and review. 252 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,280 We got to get those reviews up and those ratings up. 253 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,400 That's how more people find out about the podcast and go to 254 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:35,000 YouTube like the videos and or subscribe. 255 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,760 I'm trying to make the YouTube pop off dude. 256 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,400 That's how more people are going to find out anyway. 257 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,840 So we're at Dark Brandon, get back to the bus. 258 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,600 It's 3:10, she said we're leaving at 3:10. 259 00:14:55,600 --> 00:15:02,640 Doesn't show up 315. Doesn't show up 320. 260 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,120 I start to get worried for her well-being. 261 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:10,800 I go. She likes me so I of course 262 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,880 would die for her now because she said one nice thing to me. 263 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,160 Where is she? I'm scared. 264 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,160 Ebony, do I have to find you? Is this taken for Ebony? 265 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:26,040 I will find you. You've taken my Ebony, you've 266 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:30,240 taken my queen. I can't do Liam Mason. 267 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:38,880 She walks up 17 minutes late and guess what? 268 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,080 It was even mad because I go. You've earned it. 269 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,720 You've earned it, dude. You're freaking because and 270 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,640 because you know, you know what it was. 271 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,280 I knew she was going to earn it back later. 272 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,840 I knew that she doesn't play around. 273 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,880 She takes a job seriously now. And was she on YouTube and or 274 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,920 Netflix the entire drive while she was driving a giant bus? 275 00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,720 Yeah. And did that make me a little 276 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,560 uncomfortable because she also had both headphones in? 277 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,960 Yes. But did I say something now? 278 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,720 I felt safe. I trusted her because I'm like, 279 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,360 you know what? This lady doesn't want to die. 280 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,840 And so if she doesn't want to die, then I then I'm, I'm good. 281 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:18,400 So she rolls up, we start cooking. 282 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:23,800 She's flying down the highway. She's swerving in and out of 283 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,880 cars. She looks at me and she goes, I 284 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,960 got my, she goes, I have my food right here. 285 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,680 If it flies, because she goes, I'm going to start weaving in in 286 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,680 our traffic. If it flies, don't let it go 287 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,800 down the stairs. I'm trusting you. 288 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:38,200 I go, aye, aye, Captain. And I'd and I'd do that. 289 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:47,400 And she nods at me and then this fucking lady behind us takes a 290 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,800 phone call with her mom and she's loud and she's loud and 291 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,880 she's also speaking French. And that made it worse because 292 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,400 it just is you just it's French people suck. 293 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,520 I'm sorry. That's, that's, that's, that's, 294 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,920 that's, that's the truth. And it's, it's a universal truth 295 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,119 because everywhere that I go outside of America, the one 296 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,119 thing they can't agree on is that French people suck ass. 297 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,480 And I'm sure she's fine, but the Speaking of the French. 298 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,520 And then she was switching between French and English. 299 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,040 And I wanted to be like, you got to choose Elaine. 300 00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:20,480 Choose Elaine for for what? I'm going to be mad at you, at 301 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,119 you because you're, because you're confusing too much. 302 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,400 I'm hating you and I'm I'm hating you in multiple languages 303 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:30,720 now, and she's loud and she's loud and she's talking about 304 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,480 also the I can hear enough. She's talking about this dumbest 305 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,680 shit. It's not important. 306 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:39,120 There's no doctor, there's no nuclear codes, there's no 307 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,720 discovery. She didn't win the lottery. 308 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,840 Ebony turns around. She and she goes, yo, get off 309 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:50,560 the phone. Lady goes OK, doesn't get off, 310 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,600 quiets down. She laughs too. 311 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:58,200 And I was like this is not a laughing matter. 8 minutes later 312 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,080 how many how many turns? Miss Andrews looks, turns, turns 313 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:06,200 around Caesar talking to Gay talking again, looks it looks at 314 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:10,800 her, looks back at me and I get rather like I don't know. 315 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:17,440 And she goes a ma. Get off the phone now dude. 316 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,240 I wanted to get up and start clapping. 317 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,960 Oh my God, because the amount of times I've wanted to do that and 318 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,000 I haven't because I'm not the bus driver and I don't want to 319 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,960 get stabbed by a random person is Oh man, it felt good. 320 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,720 And I just told and and then and then we got stuck in traffic and 321 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,840 then she took this really random way around and she got us in on 322 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,000 time, even though she was 17 minutes late at dark Brandon 323 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,920 breast stop. And it was a fantastic drive And 324 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:52,200 and and this story is all just to say, if you get on a bus and 325 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,920 the bus driver is mean, you're in the right place. 326 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,560 That's what it is Long. I mean, that's half the fucking 327 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,440 podcast. But you guys will enjoy me enjoy 328 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,600 that because besides that, you know, I went to DC. 329 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,640 We did a haunted house. You got to do haunted house. 330 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,480 Did you got to do something Halloweeny for Halloween? 331 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,000 If not, like don't be, don't be lame. 332 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,680 Do something for Halloween. My brothers and I went to and my 333 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:18,920 dad, we went to one of those haunted house like, like paths 334 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,080 that you walk through like a haunted trail. 335 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,720 And, you know, they're, they're pretty. 336 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,920 They're honestly like kind of all the same. 337 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,560 And I want to find one where the act, because most of them, the 338 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,200 actors are pretty mid. They just walk up to you and 339 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,320 they go like, they do that shit. And you're like, oh, shit, OK. 340 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,240 Yeah, every, everyone does the exact same thing. 341 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,880 Like they kind of are phoning it in. 342 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,640 And I get it. They're 18 years old, but 343 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:46,160 probably younger. They're getting paid $9, but I 344 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,400 just, I, I want people committed to the craft, dude that makes it 345 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,360 because I know that if I did it, at least in the beginning, I 346 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,920 would really be trying to make motherfucker shit their pants. 347 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,800 Like I, I would, I want that to happen. 348 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:03,800 I really do. But it was great. 349 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,240 It was just you got to do something for Halloween so you 350 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,800 feel Halloweeny. It's a few things I was going to 351 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:14,680 do a whole like how to have, how to, how to have a Halloween. 352 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,160 But I don't know if like, I mean, do you guys fuck with it 353 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,120 when I do the how to have a fall, how to do that? 354 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,680 I don't know. I don't know if I mean, because 355 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:29,160 if anything, I can, I can, I can go over it next Sunday after 356 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:36,600 Halloween. But Halloween is for kids, 357 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,800 truly. And it's not like a bad thing. 358 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,520 It's for children. That's why, like when you're on 359 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:49,640 Halloween and you see kids trick or treating it like brings you 360 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,280 joy because you go, yeah, that reminds me when I was a kid, 361 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,480 that's when Halloween was the best. 362 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,120 Truly. Yeah. 363 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,120 It's fun getting older and dressing up as a slut. 364 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,360 And then you and. And for men and women, by the 365 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,480 way, because guys do it too. And then you and then you guys 366 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,000 both get both get drunk and go to a party and you hope to hook 367 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,320 up at someone. And then more often than not, 368 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,080 you don't. And you go home alone and you're 369 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,280 like, damn, I really want to have sex with a chick of blue 370 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:18,160 hair or something like whatever. I wanted to bring a cat girl 371 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,080 home or whatever it is. A girl that has 1 little streak 372 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,760 of blood and you're like, this is so hot. 373 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,600 I want to keep the mask on. Keep the mask on. 374 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:31,000 I'm keeping the mask on, babe. Somebody stop me. 375 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,360 The mask from the Jim Carrey movie, which I saw a clip of 376 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,080 that by the way, 90s movie. I'm like watching 90s movies. 377 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,000 They're elite. Dude. 378 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:41,840 I'm going to watch the mask again. 379 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,920 I watched 5 minutes of it and I go, this is funnier than any 380 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,920 comedy I've seen in the last 20 years full, full stop. 381 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,920 But I did one Halloween Halloweeny thing and that was 382 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:56,760 good because bro, I was going to dress up this year for Halloween 383 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,280 and then I just went why? I'm a 33 year old man. 384 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:05,400 I don't want to now I have to find something. 385 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,800 But like, I really am at this point where I go, if I don't 386 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:14,440 want to dress up, what the hell am I forcing myself to? 387 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:22,760 I don't want to. I don't want to, Yeah, unless 388 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,120 it's with a big group of people. But yeah, unless I'm doing like 389 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:30,560 a theme thing, I just, I don't like, I'm not going to, I'm, I'm 390 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,800 not going to concert. I don't want to do the whole 391 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,080 thing because also, number one, it's wasteful. 392 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,560 I don't want to get into. I don't want to be the lame 393 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,160 person that's like, that's about full of environment. 394 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:43,040 But like, yeah, in but it is so frustrating that you would build 395 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:48,280 up to to dress up one night. Dude, it's got to be a week for 396 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,040 me. It's got to be a week. 397 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,400 If it was multiple week, multiple performances, yes, but 398 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:58,120 once Nah, man, I was going to dress up as Kratos and I go, 399 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,000 Nah, fuck it. I'm shaving my I'm shaving my 400 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:00,840 beard. I'm not doing this. 401 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,680 No, for one night I'm going to pay $80.00 for a costume. 402 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,440 And by the way, it was a Sheen costume, so probably would have 403 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:13,600 been made of literal tissue paper, so it would have looked 404 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,000 horrible. Nah, Nah, I don't, you know, And 405 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,440 if you, if you, if you like dressing up good, good for you. 406 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:29,000 I'm so stoked. But I just, I'm chilling, dude. 407 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,440 I'm just, I'm just, I'm chilling. 408 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,920 I, I don't want to dress up if it's multiple, if we have 409 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,480 multiple things going on. Yes. 410 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,000 And also my, Oh my God, you know, it's, it's the people I 411 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,120 hang out with, all the guys I are like, oh, what do we dress 412 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:42,360 up? Do? 413 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:44,760 I went to a bachelor party a couple years ago when we all 414 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,200 just put on track suits. It's not even a costume. 415 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,600 We're just like dressing as Italian guys. 416 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:56,920 Kind of Nah, I'm only, I'm only dressing that. 417 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,720 That's the problem. I'm only dressing up if I'm 418 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,720 going full throated. I'm bodying that shit. 419 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,640 That's what I want to do. And I haven't done that in a 420 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,200 while and maybe I'll find the right person to do it with and 421 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,640 that would be sick. I mean, I was Ice Spice a couple 422 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,640 years ago. That was kind of fun, but then, 423 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,160 but dude, But dude, then I dressed up as Ice Spice and then 424 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,000 we went to my friend's apartment and we just chilled. 425 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,640 What do we even do? We just chilled and like play 426 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,880 games. I was like, Nah, dude, if I'm 427 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,160 putting it on, I got to be perceived. 428 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:35,480 That'll make it fun, right? I mean call in and say what you 429 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,200 guys do to have a good, good Halloween because I'm Halloween 430 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,280 I'm not amazing at I'm obviously better, better Christmas than 431 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,800 Thanksgiving even. It's like it's pretty easy. 432 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:50,080 But Halloween, no. And I'm always thinking, I, I, I 433 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,520 mean almost every guy thinks of what their Halloween costume is 434 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,400 going to be 5 days before Halloween. 435 00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:01,240 And then they eventually just like find a onesie on Amazon or 436 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,360 they just go to spirit. I, I never understood how Spirit 437 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:07,280 Halloween stayed open. And then the amount of times 438 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,000 I've gone there the day of or the day before to get a costume 439 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,440 and just been like, oh shit, OK, I guess I'm going to pay $60.00 440 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,680 for this dumb Viking cost. Like that's, that's what it is. 441 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,440 That's how they stay alive. And I'm the sucker that does it. 442 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,600 Oh, also when I was at the I don't even want to really like 443 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:30,280 dude, I was when I was at this Halloween thing. 444 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:39,800 I want to go use the bathroom and I want to go open the I want 445 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,240 to go use the bathroom and I opened the port a potty and a 446 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:49,120 girl was standing up and she was wiping her ass and I just I just 447 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:54,160 made full eye contact with her and that shit was it just it 448 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,680 sucked. It's and it was her fault. 449 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,800 She left the door open. It was on fully green. 450 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,560 I was in, I thought I was in the green and then I opened up and I 451 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,560 was like, no, I'm, I'm, I'm in, I'm in the red. 452 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,360 I'm in the brown eyes. It was bad, dude. 453 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,600 I had my flashlight out because it was dark and I couldn't see 454 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,360 if it was green or red on the door. 455 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,840 And then I saw that it was green. 456 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,920 I go, oh, cool. And then I, I opened it up 457 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,960 confidently. I wasn't like a slow open. 458 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:27,120 I go, oh, this has to be it's fully green and I just and she 459 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:32,720 goes no, no, wait, and I go and I just like and my flat. 460 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,960 It looked like I was I was opening up to prank her because 461 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,360 I had the flashlight pointed directly at her and I just was 462 00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:45,880 like close. Oh shit, turn, walk, go to 463 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:51,240 another porta potty open, walk in close, double check that the 464 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:55,320 door is closed, sit down, go on my phone for 15 minutes to make 465 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,320 sure there's no way that I see her when I walk out. 466 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:04,440 Man, that happened so fast. It happened so fast. 467 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,760 I couldn't even react. I just went that just I just I 468 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,840 just hasn't something ever happened to you so fast that you 469 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,640 go oh, that just happened to me. Oh shit that just happened. 470 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,600 Wow. And then you have to tell 471 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,640 someone to kind of realize like I just saw a girl in a nurse 472 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:19,920 outfit. Wait wiping her ass? 473 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,680 I just traumatized a girl in a nurse outfit wiping her ass even 474 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,640 though like she full it was fully her fault for not locking 475 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,440 the door. I feel really bad about it 476 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,600 though. Don't know what to do. 477 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,200 Do I find her and apologize so much worse? 478 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,120 Hey, I'm really sorry that I flashed a light directly into 479 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,840 your eyes like I'm a cop and opened the door in a way that it 480 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,040 made it seem like I definitely knew you were in there and was 481 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:46,640 snapping a photo. But I wasn't so much worse, so 482 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:52,920 much worse. It like it was it was actually 483 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:58,400 so I actually didn't like I actually I didn't feel that bad 484 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:03,600 because I knew how much of a mistake it was that I just and 485 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:08,640 and that like it was her fully on her because who, who do you 486 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,960 do people knock on board? It means I, I sometimes I have 487 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,680 knocked on porta potties, but like I, I, I don't know. 488 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:20,440 And also if I'm in a porta potty, first thing I'm doing, 489 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,880 I'm, I'm going into the porta potty. 490 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:28,960 I'm turning is this, yeah, I'm turning around and I'm locking 491 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,080 the door and I'm and I'm making sure the door is locked. 492 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:37,000 And then if for some reason a porta potty doesn't lock, I'm 493 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,760 sitting down and I'm holding the door the entire time. 494 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,480 I take a shit. If I'm taking a piss, who cares? 495 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,280 I've gone into a port, a party and not locked it by like by 496 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,840 mistake when I'm drunk or some shit and someone's opened it and 497 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,720 I'd be like, Oh, shit, my bad, whatever, that's fine. 498 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,000 They're just seeing the back of you still should have blocked 499 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,440 it, but they're not going to feel bad. 500 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,880 It's a green. But if you go in, like if you 501 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:06,800 have you ever gone into a into a stall and then you sit down, you 502 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,800 pull your pants down, you sit down, you're like, I got shit so 503 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,680 bad. And then you, and then you turn 504 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,160 and you see and the lock's broken and you go, well, I've 505 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,800 already started the deed. The race is already like the 506 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:18,960 train's already left the station. 507 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:24,960 I'm in this race. I'm just going to have to hold 508 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,480 this door the entire time. And then you're just like, Oh my 509 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,320 God. And then it's worse when it's a 510 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,480 door that, that that goes open because you have to hold it. 511 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,800 At least when it's a door that like pushes in, you can kind of 512 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,520 just put your foot on it and like if someone if, if someone 513 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,280 taps it, because a lot of times people would just like tap it a 514 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,560 little bit if they don't know. And if there's any kind of 515 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,120 pushback, they go, OK, I shouldn't go in there. 516 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,280 But it's when a pull, you got to pull. 517 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,440 And then even if you give it a little bit of momentum, the 518 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,840 door's going to keep swinging and you're everyone's just going 519 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,720 to see you. Someone's going to see you 520 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,920 taking a shit and a nurse outfit and you're just wiping her ass. 521 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,880 She should have been holding it. You know, I'm actually upset 522 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,680 that she put me through now. I mean, it's it's it's much 523 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,080 worse for her. I should have found her and been 524 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,320 like, I'm so I'm so sorry. Do you do you, do you want to? 525 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,920 I mean, what, what's she going to do to me? 526 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,600 I'm like, do you want to do the same thing to me? 527 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,360 She's like, absolutely not. That makes it so much worse. 528 00:30:29,810 --> 00:30:33,490 It's 12 O 6 anyway. Halloween costumes. 529 00:30:34,130 --> 00:30:37,370 You know, guys, sometimes the, the the, you know, actually, you 530 00:30:37,370 --> 00:30:39,730 know what? No, no, I'm not doing that. 531 00:30:39,730 --> 00:30:43,240 I was about to talk shit about this episode, but no, I'm not 532 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,000 doing that shit, Nomo. I'm not doing that no more. 533 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:58,360 No, let's finish with a voicemail, 347-566-9741. 534 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,880 Call the voicemail, ask for advice, get some advice from 535 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,920 your unk. I'll change your life. 536 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,520 I'll make it better, I promise. Or share a cringe story. 537 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,400 I just shared a cringe story. That was my cringe that happened 538 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,720 this week. Holy shit, that was bad, right? 539 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:16,400 Some cringe shit happened to me and you heard it. 540 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,120 Top 10 cringes. Opening up a porta potty door 541 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,400 and seeing her girl in a nurse outfit with blood, fake blood 542 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,000 spat on her face trying to wipe her ass and her screaming God 543 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:32,240 please no, it's bad. And that's what happened to me. 544 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,920 Yeah, I'm recording this on a new camera, so hopefully this 545 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,400 looks good. We'll work. 546 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,000 We'll work on it. Let's see. 547 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,520 OK, You guys are going to, you guys are going to, you know, 548 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,480 some people would cut this out, but no, you're, you're going to 549 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,560 hear me. Is this the right? 550 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,080 Oh, no, it's not the right one, is it? 551 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,120 Yeah, we'll cut this out. Not here we go. 552 00:31:54,120 --> 00:32:00,840 Found it, found it. We got I've had like 4 different 553 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:09,200 people call or text and then not follow up and that pisses me 554 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,640 off. All right, what's here for this 555 00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:16,880 person? Oh wait, I got turned up. 556 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,760 Sorry y'all. Remain. 557 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:26,520 Oh, it's a guy. OK, let's hear it. 558 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:35,800 Yeah, hi, I would like to remain anonymous but I have a question. 559 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:42,240 I need advice, how do I tell my girlfriend's best friend's 560 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,200 boyfriend that I am deeply in love with him? 561 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:47,200 Please let me know. Thanks. 562 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,880 Bye. How do I tell my girlfriend's 563 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:56,120 best friend's boyfriend that I'm deeply in love with him? 564 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:07,160 But you have a girlfriend. Oh, you're gay. 565 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:14,880 Well, shouldn't you first tell your girlfriend that you're gay? 566 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:19,840 I first of all, well, First things first, you're gay. 567 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,400 Congratulations, you figured it out. 568 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,400 Number two, tell your girlfriend before you tell her best 569 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:35,200 friend's boyfriend. And then I don't know, but he 570 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,360 also has a girlfriend. This is some weird, not weird, 571 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,880 like it's wrong. But this is like some this is 572 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,760 some like, like, like porn fantasy shit where it's like you 573 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:49,800 guys both suck each other after And you guys were you guys made 574 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,120 both of you each other realized that you were living a lie. 575 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,840 My girlfriend's best friend's boy. 576 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,880 Yeah, Yeah. I kind of I kind of want to call 577 00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,480 this guy. It's too late. 578 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:04,360 Fuck. I mean, this is, I mean, let me 579 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:08,560 text him. Let me wait. 580 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,280 He's saying here, this is, I mean, what time is it? 581 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,400 35 minutes in? I mean, maybe he'll respond 582 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,960 immediately. Hey, I have a follow up. 583 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,960 I mean, there's no way he's going to answer in time. 584 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:31,000 But dude, I mean, you, you, you OK? 585 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:33,440 You can't, you can't wreck you can't wreck your relationship 586 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,760 and then also wreck your, your girl, your ex girlfriend's best 587 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,520 friend's relationship. You can't do it, dude. 588 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,159 Find some other guy that looks like him. 589 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,560 Is is what I got to say. You can't do it. 590 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,719 Like, do I know this person? This is this is hold on a 591 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,080 second. Let's let's, let's, let's, let's 592 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,280 see. Oh, yeah. 593 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:52,239 Here we go. Hold on a second. 594 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:57,480 I kind of want to call this guy. No. 595 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:02,160 OK, hold on. OK, so this OK, this is dude, 596 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:09,160 can I call you? So you just realized, are you 597 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:26,000 saying you realized with a guy? So I don't say this guy go 598 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,920 you're in love with the guy, but you have a girlfriend. 599 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:37,120 So you're gay. So so you so you you so so so I 600 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,360 don't know what to say to this guy. 601 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,200 So dude, you're gay. Congratulations. 602 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,840 Congrats. I'm figuring that out. 603 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:58,800 I I dude, I, I want to call this guy so bad, but I can't because 604 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,040 it'll be from my phone. I can't do that. 605 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,480 Let's see what he let's see if he answers. 606 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,000 Oh man, I'm not going to have time to edit this out. 607 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,720 You guys are dude. I'm sorry if this let's see what 608 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:17,640 time is it, but 36 minutes in so so so he's probably not going to 609 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,000 answer. You're in love with a guy. 610 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,600 I I can't believe I texted this guy. 611 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,240 You're in love with a guy, but you have a girlfriend. 612 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,560 So dude, you're gay. Congrats on figuring that out. 613 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:33,640 But the other guy is also there's so much more. 614 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:46,880 I'm just going to be like, you think 615 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:53,240 this guy is D guy is down. That's I mean there's yeah, 616 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:54,360 there. I don't I don't think there's 617 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,960 maybe this is a man. See, this is the problem with 618 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,800 getting submissions is if like is this guy just fucking with 619 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,920 me? It would be kind of but I want I 620 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,240 want to remain anonymous. But he could interest. 621 00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:15,440 No, my God, I did call. I did just mistakenly call him 622 00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,720 on my phone. So he's going to have my phone 623 00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:19,680 number, but he could think it's spam. 624 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,200 Everyone thinks everything's spam now. 625 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:27,640 Whoa, hold on a second. What's he's from he's from 626 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:33,600 Idaho, right. Let's see two what's two O 8 627 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,640 area code, area code USA. He's you know, he said you want 628 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,320 to be anonymous? That's anonymous that wrote it's 629 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,560 Idaho. OK, cool from Idaho 630 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,520 representative. I didn't know we had a well, we 631 00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,840 have Idaho listeners. This is crazy. 632 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:52,640 We we got a we're 40 minutes and we got a Oh my God. 633 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,400 Holy shit, dude, this is I'm so happy. 634 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,520 I asked him. Our girlfriends dared us to kiss 635 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,160 at a bar, but it was just like a light hearted funny thing. 636 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,360 But I really can't stop thinking about it. 637 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:14,520 Whoa, that oh man, their girlfriends are going to be 638 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,840 pissed when they figure out it was their fault. 639 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,200 But also maybe they'll be super happy because they allowed them 640 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,320 to. Wow. 641 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:29,080 I mean, this guy's fully man, I, I, I want to like, I'm going to, 642 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,040 like, I'm going to, I'm going to end the podcast and I'm going to 643 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,920 like, I'm going to, I'm going to follow up with you guys about 644 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,640 what happened because I'm, I'm not going to go back and forth 645 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,720 with this and then have you guys listen the entire time. 646 00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:43,640 But wow, shit, unk helps a guy figure out his sexuality. 647 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:48,120 That's fantastic. 347-566-9741 So you'll have something like 648 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,040 this happen. Dude, I'll, I'll help you if 649 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,160 figure out and process the fact that you kissed some other guy 650 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,320 at a bar and now you're you're you're maybe gay and that's 651 00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:03,320 great or you're bi, whatever. But but if you can't stop 652 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,400 thinking about it, you got to break up with your girlfriend. 653 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:11,680 Like, Oh my man, good for you, dude, I guess. 654 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,600 I mean, yeah, yeah, good for you. 655 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:20,160 That's that's fun. Why would you dare? 656 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,160 What kind of 2 girls dare there? That's there's, I mean, there's 657 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:28,280 so much to get into there that why would you do that also to 658 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,720 me? I mean, I don't have to end, I 659 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:34,760 don't want to end with this, but like I want I got to help this 660 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:39,440 guy. Like the concept of daring 2 661 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,440 straight guys to kiss is so weird to me because it's kind of 662 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:48,600 like do this thing that like is so horrible to you because two 663 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:52,520 guys kissing is disgusting. Oh my God, I can't believe you 664 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,760 did that. It's like you got to be in 665 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,680 college if you're like dude, dude, shut up. 666 00:39:58,480 --> 00:39:59,840 Two guys kiss. OK, big deal. 667 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:07,440 The only way you think that is a dare is if you think them being 668 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:13,040 gay is like bad kind of right. I don't know why it feels a 669 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,840 little homophobic to me. I don't know. 670 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,680 Maybe it's not any I'm overthinking it. 671 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:20,840 I don't know. But like if you and your 672 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:25,280 girlfriend are daring your I mean, I would never, I would 673 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,680 never dare my if I had a girlfriend, I would never dare 674 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,120 her to kiss one of her friends. That's weird bro. 675 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,040 You're just you're, you're kissing someone else. 676 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,080 It doesn't matter that they're the same. 677 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,040 You know what I mean? I feel like this episode, you 678 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,360 guys need to call in with your feelings about what's been said 679 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,520 because there's been a lot of things that have gone on and I 680 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,160 would like to hear your I'd like to hear your takes, your 681 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,000 opinions on. Anyway, I wish this could be a 682 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,800 fault because man, if I, if I was recording this at like I got 683 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:54,840 that 11:11 AM, we'd be cooking. We've been having a fire time, 684 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,040 but also I would, I would still feel like I need to to end and 685 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:02,880 and help this man. Anyway guys, thanks for 686 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:07,000 listening as always spread the word like subscribe, rate, 687 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,400 review, do all the stuff you know what to do. 688 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,520 I love you all Thank you for listening and talk to you next 689 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:15,720 week. Happy Halloween. 690 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:17,200 Bye.