Oh my. God, yeah, that's right.
Wait, where's the audio? Why can't I hear you?
You can't hear me. What is?
Why can we never? Why?
And the pod has started, by the way, because we have, we have
the 35 minutes. OK, hold on.
Got me, got me. I got you.
I got you, I got you like big bucks and I cannot lie, Lily,
Lily has the nice the how we doing.
I have to. I got you hung out with Duncan
for approximately 12 minutes and now you are dressed like this.
Woo. I'm.
Going to Costa Rica next week and this is what I'm wearing for
two weeks, baby. This is wild.
The shirt is crazy. This is Duncan's shirt, by the
way. Yeah, you know that.
Wow, honestly. OK, well, listen, this is a solo
trip, right? To Costa.
Rica trip, yeah, with other people, with other groups, but
OK. 'Cause pura Vida.
Pura Vida. Yeah, huge Wellness check.
By the way, going to Costa Rica to hike through the forest for
two weeks? Huge.
Let's talk about it. Let's dive right in.
Booked it in October. OK, That means that means three
months in advance I went, I'm going to need this.
And I mean, I was right on the money.
I was. You were on the.
Money. Right on the money.
You are, and let's talk about what you hope to in a realistic
way. In a realistic way.
What you hope to experience on this trip.
I'm going to be fully transparent because that's what
we are in the show. We're transparent, we're open,
and that's. Almost to a fault.
Oh no, fully to a fault, but.
Past fault. It's too rough.
The fault line, the San Andreas line has been passed.
We're on the other side. We're falling into the earth.
But someone has to do this to make other people feel, look,
you hear this and you go, it's, it's not just me.
People listen and go, OK, We're all it's I, I mean, I honestly
have, I have so many things. To say OK, what if for the first
time we put timers on topics? Timers on topics OK anytime you
know what we'll we'll we'll try really hard not to are.
You wearing a pinky ring? Oh my God.
Wellness check #2 what the hell is that?
Pinky ring. I found it.
I found it in my drawer and you know what?
This actually has a story that is a little too personal that I
don't want to say on air. OK, I'm sorry for yupping your
Yum, I'm on. My period and.
I want to kill a man. I want to kill a man.
No, it's pretty funny. But if I told, if I told you why
I put it on, you would start crying.
And we don't and we do not have time for that.
I'm already. Crying.
We do not have time for that. It reminded me of a time in my
life that I would like to feel again.
Put it on, went to sleep, all. Right.
I respect that. I respect.
But they do. That's what the show is about.
All all honesty, transparency. We're we're, we're fully just
like this is this is humans moving through life just and
just putting it out there. Yeah, and.
Now more than ever, now more than ever, do we not need a show
like this with absolutely 0 politicos and just, I mean, the
things that I mean, I'm getting hot just thinking about what's
going. On me too, it's It's clobbering
time. It's Rocket.
It's clobbering. That actually might be the name
in the episode. It's clobbering time.
Okay, hold on, hold on. Okay, what was I expecting?
Okay #1 let's do, let's do, let's do a positive Wellness
check, okay? Yeah.
Behind me. A collage.
Is a vision board. I've never done that in my life
because I was embarrassed and I thought it was stupid.
Another word. Another word I won't use right
now because it's not progressive.
OK, thank you. I felt you wanting to say it
you. Felt you felt the IT forming in
the no no. Totally, totally.
You live in one of the most progressive cities in the
country. They built the Wassan, Yes, but
yeah. But I but I did it.
I'm moving past those fears of being because you know what it
is? It's just a fear of being
authentic. It's a fear of being vulnerable
and. Not for toxic masculinity wins.
There are some there are some quotes on there that I'd be
embarrassed when someone saw, but it's whatever, OK?
Like. What there's?
Give me the goods, God. Oh no, not give.
Me the goods. Discipline and consistency, OK,
OK. That, that, that, that OK.
That was a cop out. That was a cop out.
That was some pussy ass shit.
Doors are opening for me, that one, OK, there's this one is
really embarrassing, this one, but I'm going to say it.
I'm I just, I saw it and was like, you know what?
Yeah, Tell. Me.
Tell me. Read it.
It's a quote that says, I don't know, I just have this weird
feeling that it's all going to work out for me.
Did you see the booger that left my nose?
Oh my God, cringe. But.
Cringe but whatever dude. No, I was.
I was feeling it that night I. Love it.
And of course, a lot of OK, so here's the thing I do.
I was introduced to Pinterest. Like recently.
Yeah, I always welcome King. I know I'd always heard of it.
Didn't know what this shit was. I thought it was just a bunch of
random pictures that I don't. I honestly didn't know what it
was. And then someone told me you can
use it for, for, for mood boarding and vision boarding.
And let me tell you, I got a lot of Seinfeld quotes on there a
lot. And they're great.
They're great. There's one of George that says,
just says I need to get out of the city and I'm like, and he's
got the goggles on. Yeah.
I mean, they're, they're amazing.
But. OK, made the vision that's a
good that's a good positive Wellness check Costa Rica we
already talked about. I have a few others concerning
one tell. Me.
I've started getting ads for 1/6 scale model V8 engines and I'm
I'm really close to to buying. One the itch.
The Itch. And they use gas and they're
water cooled. It's like a working engine.
And they, and by the way, they cost hundreds of dollars.
No, no, one of them's like $1500.
And I look at it and I go, I think that would be the best use
of money I've ever like done in my life.
Because you want to build you. The Lego is the gateway drive.
The Lego is the. Lego is the gateway.
Operative 2 scale but miniature scale Grand Central Station in
your. Room.
Oh, and I would be. I'd be happy.
Wouldn't you be over the moon? Wouldn't that be your?
Sanctuary. It would be my sanctuary and if
someone came in and tried to carry and you already know, I'd
have a board that followed the actual train times in the Rio
Grand Central. You would sync up.
You would somehow hack into the mainframe of Grand Central
Station's operator. Yeah, doing this, that's where
I'm at. So I just.
You know, we've talked about this before.
I there's different eras that you know, how everyone does the
thing where they're like, I would love to live in the 19,
whatever. And you're always just like, OK,
but most of the time. But yes, I understand.
What you're saying? But yeah, every time there's
always like a white guy saying that and you're like, but, you
know. Why?
That one, yeah. Why the why antebellum?
You know what that means, right? You.
Don't antebellum love to have been there when like, yeah, I.
Can't. Yeah.
When, when, When. When women were property.
Anyway. What?
The dresses were really pretty. The dresses and you know what I
have to say, the older I get and the lower parts of my body go, I
do yearn for the yanking and the and the and even the leg stuff.
They were working with some crazy shit.
What leg stuff were they doing? Girders and girders and girders.
And girders as well. It was just like, you know, you,
you get the when you even I like sometimes wear a corset.
I'd be like, OK, I'm like locked in.
This is it's time to be. It's like that's.
I'm sorry, with the hat, it's crazy.
OK, but can I just say it's? Kind of working.
It's cunty and it's good. It works like I I need to.
Take one cut down photo on in Costa.
Rica, let's have a Kiki. I want to have a Kiki.
Lock the door. It's working.
Let's have a Kiki. If you guys aren't watching the
YouTube, what are you doing right now 'cause this is
actually I upload the video to Spotify, so you guys can watch
that too, but that lasts 30 seconds that was.
Wow, wow. I just dude, I was meant to be a
dad, not even not even having this child that will come at
some point, but just the era, the dad era.
You're so ready. And we and we talked about this
like I know our 20s, we were like, well, be cool.
Like, you know, buy clothes that aren't util whatever.
Like, no, none of that. Becoming middle-aged adults.
We're right at the beginning. It's like the first day of
school. I'm getting my syllabus and it's
like build models, OK watch, watch documentaries, wear hats
like this by the way. The trailer goes.
I'm not. I don't want to get Yeah, no.
No, no, I do have to say I really it's funny to be also I I
will not be a mom biologically. That's not my point, however.
And guess what? We love that clarity.
Biggest clarity out of my late 20s, which is just like, I need
to stop wondering and just trust that my body is telling me the
right things, which is telling me nothing.
I don't want it. And guess what?
And here's I'm going to pop off for a second and then I'll come
back on topic. Pop off.
I plead with your listeners who do trend hetero ladies for some
unknown reason. My favorite thing is an is an
extremely hetero lady bemoaning the fact that she's had her.
Is mostly ladies, mostly not her.
Ladies, please stop telling women who say they don't want
kids that they'd be so good. At it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is the weirdest.
It's weird. Weakest, most annoying thing to
say to somebody who thought about it so hard has had to go
through. I don't know.
How long have people been people?
Hundreds of thousands of years. Let's say a buck 70,000 years.
Let's. Say $1.70.
Let's say $1.70. Hey boss, can I get the coffee
for $1.70? Just just just to, to finish up
my being a being a dad thing. One the other day I heard
someone call someone else Boss and for the first time in my
life I went, yeah, that actually works.
Which which? Which?
I used to think it was dumb and now I'm like boss Boss might be
making its way into the lexicon. Boss Chief.
Chief is I love Chief. Chief is great.
How are? You, chief.
What's going on, Chief? It's saying I respect you.
Hey, I'm up in your power right now.
Yeah, I see you. OK, so that's what I so like.
Just trust that if I'm telling you I don't want kids, I've gone
through all of the buck 70 years of thought and urge in. $1.70
I've gone through it. You don't need to you, you don't
need to encourage me by telling me how good of a person I am
'cause it kind of that kind of subtextually says like you're
let you, like you thought you couldn't do it.
Yeah, and also, isn't that the literal sliveriest sliver of the
Yeah, I know I'd be good at it. I know I would keep a thing
alive and love it. I know I would, it's in my body.
How? But I don't want my ribs to
break and. My asshole to.
Tear and what if I don't like this fucking kid?
What if this kid is? What if I raise?
Oh, anger. Wait.
Oh, oh, oh. I mean, I think the chances of
that are extremely small. I know.
From day one I'd be like socialism, socialism.
Socialism which guess what that would actually maybe push him
towards you would have to actually raise him on extreme
like ISM yeah for him to then want to push back.
Can you imagine you being so scared your kid would be that
instead you raised him as a literal?
And his rebelling is like, I'm going, I'm going to Peru to
start a commune for the working class you.
Just start talking. Ah, Guten tag, yeah.
So Guten tag, yeah. We're going to learn about the
way the world should have been. And then he's like, what?
And then and then he switches. He does a full yeah, that's
yeah, no, I understand. So people, if people say they
won't have kids, you know what you say?
That's great. Good.
I'm really happy to figure that out 'cause more people should
maybe. Not have kids.
Yeah, I mean, we do need the human race to continue, but.
Do we Wellness check? Do.
We Wellness check, that's a huge Wellness check for both of us.
And I have that thought quite often.
Good. What?
Good? Oh, buildings.
Buildings. This.
I'm literally looking at a bunch of buildings and they go I know.
I'm. Sorry.
You're about to be in Costa Rica, which I can only imagine.
You're gonna see things. You've never seen before, and
then you're gonna come back to New York and be like, what's
with the cement? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I'm literally about to go to Navi Land and then come back to
to the man of the the land of the pigskins.
Yeah, yeah. They call them pink skins in
Avatar like that. Yeah, they call white people
white people, white people. Oh, I was like Dylan.
No, no. They're for us, don't worry.
They're for us. They're for us.
Yeah.
We're good. We're good.
Me walking in pink skin. To the house.
Everyone's like, OK, weird. True.
Yeah, I hope. You meet a mysterious but
formative stranger on this trip. I'm really look cause 'cause
here's here's how I am when I meet strangers, when I want a
trip like that. The the book is open.
Cause here's what like dude, the Paladinos.
We're you talk to us for a little bit open, but we'll like
our, our generation not above us, above us.
Closed. The book has been locked.
They will never discuss anything but us because of that.
We're open. So yeah, I'm gonna meet a
stranger. We're gonna talk, but I'm gonna
ask them about their life. We're gonna, it's we're gonna
get into it. It's gonna be, it's gonna be.
No, no, I'm, I'm looking, I'm looking forward to it.
It's gonna be good. Oh, yeah.
The whole, the whole, the whole point of it was just like I need
to, I went on that trip to Maine and I had not felt that good in
a while, just like being out in nature and hiking.
And I was like, all right, let me explore doing this for a
little bit longer than three days.
So we'll see. And I get to practice my
Spanish. I've been talking with the tutor
and I think it'll be a good to like let it vary.
So so that'll be good. Wait, what was I gonna see?
This there's. So many.
I know can I do my 2 quickie Wellness checks?
Good one, bad one we. Need to.
We need to. We need to.
Let's hear him. OK, let's start with bad.
OK, bad. So I have a little boyfriend now
and we like him so much. Yes.
I'm voguing about your boyfriend.
Yes, if I could do the the leg, yeah, I would.
No idea how people don't end up in the ER every time they do
that. Every time I'm like, that
doesn't hurt your spine a little.
Yeah, just a little. Wow.
And in the heels that they're doing it in, Oh my, don't
they're Olympic. I don't Yeah, they're, they're
literally they should. I mean, I would be OK with
Olympic voguing. Absolutely, Absolutely.
I I I, I would enjoy that actually.
I think that would. I would.
I think that would give. Music.
Oh my God. 40 year long more run.
The oh, the music just on its own would be great.
Yeah. Yeah.
OK, let's hear the good. Let's hear the wait.
This is the bad one. This is the bad one, but.
He was bad one. Is check OK?
So we were at a fast casual dining establishment last night
and I was standing in line to start my little custom bowl
order and this individual in front of me was clearly.
I mean, even as an innocent bystander, she was oozing
pheromones at the person behind the counter building her bowl.
Oh. Oh, she.
Oh, she was in heat. She was in.
Heat. She was the cat, like the, Yeah,
the exorcist cat. Yeah.
OK, so she was oozing. So she proceeded and I was very
hungry. I was day one of my month
monthly affliction and so I was not in my best state of mind.
Which again fully warranted and understood.
Thank you, Ally. Ally.
And she proceeded. I mean, I'm not even kidding you
to ask about every single. Are you sure that's not sour
cream? That looks like sour cream.
No, it's, you know, yogurt dip. I could have more.
And that was sour cream. Do you like sour cream?
OK, for every ingredient, where do you get the cows for the
steak? OK.
We are there for approximately 11 minutes.
No. Before I start to get a little
Al Pacino in heat. OK, I cannot believe you waited
11 minutes. OK, so I literally like
something happens to me. So let's say, OK, I'm I'm facing
away from the camera for just you, for auditory listeners.
Got it. So I'm facing away from her so I
don't beat her up. Yeah, but you're starting to
twitch. And I just like and I start to
approach her and Kevin just puts it oh redacted just puts his arm
out and stops me and he goes take a breath.
Now I'm impressed because there's a real chance that all
that energy ricochets onto him. Oh, it did.
OK. Oh, it did, but he stopped me
from serious and she might have been 19 years old.
I don't. You know what?
I don't care. I don't care.
I'm at the HL. You got to learn.
Someone in someone in society needs to teach you that.
You can't do that. But.
I was about to be like who are you with and did they raise you
and what the fuck was that? Oh, you were going full.
OK, OK, OK, OK. He saw it.
Rage was level 100 it. Was going to be horrible and I
have to say Dell like and this is APSA and all my ladies out
there or anybody really except white men kind of it's like we
got to stop stifling our rage. We got to stop.
Like I said to you, I don't know why there's not more women
serial killers like like we will advance if we let ourselves be
angry you. Got to have those rage rooms,
you got to have female only rage rooms and just like.
That was an example of like, if anybody was doing that, I would
do that. But I found myself being like,
well, she's flirting, all the things.
Oh my gosh, no, she was being horrible.
She's being. Oblivious.
I'd say she's being oblivious and inconsiderate.
Oh my gosh. 15 minutes, 15 minutes watching somebody
ingredient by ingredient. OK.
Young love, though, it's the thing, you know what, you know
what it is you got that you have the empathy to be like, I'm
going to try to give her benefit of the doubt there, but there
has to be a leeway where you're just like, hey, you know what,
it's the God whose job is it? It's the person servings job.
But she also, yeah, no, they're in I I'm trying so hard to be a
like positive person about it. But you know what, sometimes in
New York and you has to come out and be like, hey guys, there's a
line. So can we like move it a little
bit faster? 100% that's all you need to do.
So then she has the audacity when she's checking out to look
behind her and see the line that's to the door and be like.
Oh yeah, yeah, OK. So all right, but but honey baby
going like take a breath because I literally was Sarah Connor
Terminator. Like nice, dry nice.
Dry the red the The little red light was like on her head and.
I was about to be a Karen Destroyer.
Not like a bad bitch. Like, girl, I get it.
Get yours. But like, could we rap?
Like. Because there is a way to like.
Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
All so nice. Sweetie, I think he's into you,
but you got to, like, move behind us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't going to be Auntie,
like, helping her out. You were going to be Karen and
you got to be able to have someone you can be caring to.
A good partner is one that allows you to be Karen, but in
the car outside or at home. And you know what, Sometimes I
have not been that care, been the care and taker for my
partner because it annoys the care and taker because it annoys
me because I'm like, can you just get over it?
But that's and sometimes you have to remember you want them
to just get the righteous indignation out.
Yes, absolutely no one. That's your job.
That's part that's part of the job description.
Sometimes you're shredding old files and it's annoying and it's
boring, but you got to do it. I love that.
And that was that is Karen taking.
Karen dating, ma'am. Yeah, you're the hat is doing
dangerous things to you, but like I I'll come in it's.
We got a carrot in here and I don't know why.
I'm like, this is not a Western hat at all.
And some lady is like, I only feed my kids something with come
here, die. Yeah, come.
Here we're going outside. You can talk to me about it for
25 minutes. But by the way, whatever the
reverses and the heterodynamics is the same of just like no, for
sure, yeah. Guy gets mad, he gets upset.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the, and the.
And look, girls are I I actually have an example.
You know what's funny about being bald?
When you're wearing hats like this, you can push them up and
it makes your forehead look like, like, how long does it
look? This looks horrible.
Like, how bad does this look? It's like, scary.
Wait, you look like freaking you look like you.
Oh yeah, but it also looked like you were a baby emerging from a
vulva. Oh beautiful, one of the most
beautiful things in life. You are unbelievable.
Performative man. Somebody's been PR trained.
One time I had a moment with a with a partner years ago where I
got super upset at these people at a party who by the way, were
being super annoying and like egging me on.
And she just started rubbing my back while I was getting mad at
them. And I was like, we got to leave.
And then on the way home in the car, I screamed about them to
her and she was like 100%. And then when I got home, I did
30 push ups and then I felt better.
And you know, I didn't think about it till right now, but
that was really beautiful of her to just be like, I'm just going
to let this happen. And I'm just here, I'm just
going to I'm just going to enjoy it.
If you can get to the place where you enjoy the anger and
the rage, that's lifelong. That's a lifelong partner right
there. Kudos to boyfriend one side.
I said one horrible sassy thing after he caravel Karen's.
Gonna come out, yeah, yeah. It's, it's the there has to be a
little bit of pressure relief. The valve has to be released.
The valve. Don't you fucking touch me.
Yeah, Yeah. And then he's like, hey.
And you're like, OK, you're right.
Yes, you're right. So.
So what was the moment was so he wanted to eat at the fast casual
establishment next door, right. But great, they're right next to
each other. So I just go, how about you go
get your own stuff and I'll I'll figure it out here.
And he was like, really? And I was like, no.
No. No, but.
Even if you had said yes, he would have been OK and he would
have been like, great, give her five.
Yeah, give her five. He goes, he goes, the later he
goes. It's OK not to be happy and
peppy all the time. Oh, he's very sweet.
And I was like, it is OK to not be happy.
I'm still a good person. Yeah, you go.
Don't, Don't. Why are you seeing all these
good things? Why are you so supportive?
Yeah, I don't like it. I'm not used to it.
No, I OK Wellness check for real bonus one.
Yeah, not used to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I know. Trust me, I know.
And we're going to put a period on that because we talk about it
more period, probably more. The period might allow some of
the things to come out. OK, you know what?
It's oh, it's a +1. Oh, positive one.
Really quick yesterday. Gorgeous day here in
Philadelphia. 55° a light breeze.
Love that. And I was just like, you know
what, I'm unemployed. That's a positive today.
Great myself on a five mile hike in the local beautiful State
Park. Beautiful.
That's a beautiful wildness track.
That's something people should be doing almost every day, going
on going on walks, going on hikes.
Totally agree. That's nice, really nice.
And it obviously I left feeling like we're gonna be good, we're
gonna be good, we're gonna be good.
Yeah, Yeah. It's gonna, it's gonna be OK.
Yeah, you could be like mad and then go on a walk and be like,
alright, it's gonna be OK. Wow, amazing, went breathing.
No people, no cars, trees and like solitude in a in a present
way. Amazing.
Kiera. Babbling Brook are you for?
Real. Oh my God, a babbling brook is
that's that's Xanis. The rustle of leaves.
Yeah. What can we?
Oh my God. Oh, rustling leaves.
And then they the little tornado and then it lands in front of
you. Oh yeah.
Ping. You know, this is a TikTok
account where all they do is just step on crunchy leaves.
It's really nice. I love it, that's why I love
TikTok. Really smart.
What was I gonna say? I There's so many I.
Know. I had this thought.
I had this thought that I think you will connect with.
Isn't it disgusting how much like liquid our body makes?
Do you ever think about that? We secrete we.
Secrete like liquids. No liquids.
But like, a lot. I'm not just talking about
blood. I'm just talking about pee,
Hears sweat, that stuff, other things.
But I'm talking about phlegm. Oh.
My God. What is it that moves through
wax? What does it moves through your
body? Bile, bile, but also like in
your Oh, that the, the thing that's like clear that it's, no,
it's, it's in your immune system.
Oh, lymph, lymph. No one talks about lymph.
Oh my God. Wait.
Boing Boing, boing, boing. Lymph nodes.
It's lymph. Nodes.
It's lymph. It's literally lymph that moves
through your body. No wonder old humans talked
about the tumors. The things that like all the
different. We're like a machine of just
lick, dude. It's gross.
It grosses me out. I know, and we're no different.
I think about it when we that's a perfect example.
I think about it when we're itching stuff and flakes come
off and we're no different than a snake.
I think about it when it's winter and all we just want to
do is eat and sleep. We're no different than a bear.
We're literally bears and snakes.
We're no different than a mushroom growing on shit.
We don't belong. 100% do not. Yeah, at least mushrooms help
the environment sometimes. I know.
Or kill ya, yeah. Exactly.
And it's a really fun time when it happens.
It's just, I just, it was like, this is disgusting.
Yeah, we're gross. You gotta do it really gross.
What? And I, you know what?
I'm gonna out myself. But that's what the 30s are for.
Even though I'm still 29 but. I feel like I've been. 30 for 15
years. It does, yeah, but in a good
way. I was born 42, so the fact that
I'm just turning 30 is nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I will never not pick my my boogers I.
Mean you got to get them out of there.
Boogers are nuts. Boogers are gross.
Boogers are crazy. How come they're all those
different colors? Yeah, and I mean, God, it's
gross, but true. And also like, and like, what
are you just supposed to, like, leave them up there?
Like do they naturally just like, go away?
What if they stalactite? Yeah, you we've seen.
Oh, I had a stalactite moment the other day with Dunk.
Actually. They're eating and like I had a
lot of build up from like this chest cold it had cause everyone
in New York City is sick. It's kind.
Of cool. Everyone's sick here.
Too everyone and he goes dude apparently it was like grandpa
level often knows off my mustache to my chin and I didn't
know and I was right then before I had looked at a girl and
smiled like just like a friendly like hey yeah, she's like.
Oh, make a wish. Like it was like disgusting man.
And I went thank you so much for telling me dude.
That's I'm so sorry you had to see that.
That's really gross. That is really gross, but let me
tell you something. I don't give my brothers a lot
of credit for much. Duncan is the booger king of New
York. Oh yes, he'll tell you.
He has had an I. This is not a roast.
He has had unlimited sinus problems in his life.
Oh wow, one of those that sucks. And so he has had every booger
booger event you could have. Wait, sorry, semi colon, what
are you drinking? Oh, this is just water in a
kombucha thing. Oh OK, it looked blue from here
so I was like. Oh, blue, methylene, whatever.
Someone in our family drinks that.
I think you know who. Yeah.
Close close to me. That was a good one.
I usually don't like burps and mics, but that was a really good
one. That tore out of me and I'm very
sorry. That no, no, no.
It was natural. You needed to it.
Was natural. I couldn't have stopped it.
No, as we as we come up on the end, I wanted to share something
with you because this has just been a bounce.
This has been like what one of the the fans called squirrel
brain for 40 minutes. But it's good we got a you know,
and I don't know if we're going to be able to do 1 before I
leave again, but maybe that if we if we if we can, it'll be a
little bit more focal. But this is what the fans want.
Guess guess what, you listening to this, You ain't thinking
about what's going on in this country.
No, you're not. And let me tell you something.
This is a short term TikTok speed of just our brains.
It is, and I have to say I cherish the space to 'cause I do
care and it. Worries constantly 100%.
And we're so, so fucked. But it is nice.
I cherish not thinking about it for 40 minutes.
Me too, so deeply so thank you. OK, so let me let me tell you a
revelation I had the other day. I sent you one of those, I sent
you a vlog of one of the vlog people that I like watching.
And I'm, I've been curious why I like watching these specific
vloggers and I realized they're so dumb and silly and it's like
there's nothing happening that it's kind of nice.
And I, and I, I was watching them and they're, they're
siblings. And I went wow.
Like they have such a good nice, like a relationship with each
other. They don't really ever.
They're not, there's no Irish or Italian blood in them for sure.
And then I saw them go home for the holidays and how they are
with their family. No, no, hold on.
And it was so genuine and like nice and sweet.
And I went, oh, they have normal nice families.
And then I thought about ours and it went, oh, ours is not
normal. Maybe for Italians, but I was
like, oh, that's why they're not constantly ripping on each
other. And.
Now granted, I will say those kind of families make I think
funnier comedic people, but it comes with a lot of pain.
Lots. Of pain.
Almost ceaseless pain. Ceaseless pain because I watched
them. They have a they have a
Christmas tradition where they all get little like surprise
presents. They open and they have like
little crowns and their grandpa's eating tiramisu and
it's all sweet and they're talking about their roses for
the year and their thorns and they're all grateful.
All this is nice. Now I just want to in the four
and a half we have left. Compare this with when I saw
Uncle George a week ago. He showed up and didn't have any
front teeth. He showed up and was missing 3
to 4 teeth that According to him he had a spasm and they exploded
in his mouth. And then he explained to me that
he went to the doc, went to the dentist and first of all he
explained that he tried to remove his own teeth with pliers
for sure. He got he got two of them and
said one of the other one was a little hard.
So I went to the dentist. Fully believable.
Fully believe him. He I believe that he did it.
He then used a drill to sand down one of them because they
were like a little sharp and uneven.
He realizes he should go to the dentist because he's like, maybe
this isn't the best thing to do. Goes to the dentist, asks how
much it'll be to like replace and fix his teeth.
The dentist goes $30,000. Uncle George goes, no, you're
going, you took a Hippocratic Oath, you're going to fix my
teeth or I'm going to go home and do what I already did to
some of them and potentially die.
He threatened the dentist with the Hippocratic Oath and the
dentist basically fixed most of his teeth for like $1000.
And he's and then he goes and now I'm just going to get
dentures and he goes and I was like.
Yeah, that's not everyone's story.
Period. That's not everyone's story.
Yeah, threaten more doctors, guys.
I I was just like. He's my hero.
He's my hero, but also like the it's I thought we talked about
this so many times. I know I thought that our family
was normal. No, Dylan, and this is not us
being quirky like. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no. And it's not us like.
Talking. About like it's so mentally and
not us being like, Oh, I'm so upset.
No, I love our family. I love like this is lively but
but like realizing it every time watching other people's family
dynamics and being like, no one's yelling, Yeah.
And no one's supportive. Yeah, people aren't like dancing
and telling jokes and. Public jokes.
Yeah, what I don't. Know cousins aren't forcing
their teenage second cousins to grind on them at weddings?
Yeah, yeah. There's no fart piles.
In the no fart piles. I'm like would not treat it.
Most formative blessing in my life.
Grandpa's one of my best friends.
Life's more interesting, yes? But it is like, and I have to
say normal that normal because now he's normal.
But like peaceful and cherish and close.
No thanks. No, no thanks on that one, But I
like I like watching it on the Youtubes.
Yeah, I just don't get it really.
Yeah, it's it seems a little bland to me, but.
It's a little bland. But good for you, yeah?
Like it would be us off to the side being like this for this.
For yeah, if someone says something inappropriate.
Yeah, be racist. Be racist.
Just mildly, though. Just mildly.
Yeah, no. No hate crimes.
No. Hate crimes, but say something
that someone else agrees with. You're like, wait a second,
what? Hold on hold.
You know how many dinners we're all like?
And then? Somebody is like, we are all
agreeing with each. Other Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Or someone brings some food that
they spent a long time on and immediately even if people like
it, they're shitting on it. Which is awesome but is also
hard. It's hard.
And don't be soft for a second.
And that's something I explore in therapy a lot.
You cannot be off guard except if you're a tenderoni like some
of our cousins who are just born tender.
Tenderonis. And then they're just
universally adored but still get roasted. 100% OK now Lil you.
Got to go, I got to go. This has to end to anything you
want to leave people with. I want to leave people with this
Happy New Year. 2026 is a science fiction year.
OK, this might end any second. Go on.