Hello everybody, welcome back to Anyway, so Taylor Swift's new
album sucks. That's what everyone's saying,
right? Her album, Her album sucks.
That's what everyone's upset about.
How are we? Let's we're going to talk about
that and how it doesn't matter. And now it's just pushing
pushing the narrative of something to talk about.
Who cares? It's Sunday, dude, and it's it's
gloomy out and it's going to rain and as soon as a storm is
coming, it's all people can talk about.
For. Two days before I mean me
included you're just like I heard the storm's going to be
bad storm might be bad tomorrow. I'm keeping an update on the
I'm. I'm look I'm.
Looking at the the, the radar, trying to see see how it comes.
We're all looking at the exact same radar.
It's funny, One time I one time I was talking to one of my
friends after a movie. And we're walking and we're
walking outside and I'm like, damn, it's kind of chilly out.
And he's like, yeah, it is pretty cold.
And then I looked at my phone and I go.
Yeah, wow, it's 48° out and he goes, no, it's not 48° out.
And then he he opens up his weather app to check and goes,
Oh yeah, I guess it is 48° out. And I go, motherfucker, we're
using the same app How? And you know, when you just call
someone out for something that even they have to laugh because
it's absolutely insane. He goes, Oh yeah, I guess you're
right. Like I, I showed him the weather
app and he didn't believe me. So then he pulled out his also
iPhone the exact same whatever it is and just to double check
and he clicked, he didn't even click on a different app.
He's fucking some people just they, they can't, they can't
believe something until they like double check, you know,
like they don't trust anything you say and that until they
check it, even though they're doing the exact same amount.
Of research that you are. That's why it's.
So annoying when someone's like I did your like do your research
like in like in an argument. Now I was having I was having a
discussion last night with some friends and one of them we were
we were discussing the military and industrial really intense
stuff. We usually just talk about being
Unks, but for some reason we got into this and.
He made a statement, I said I don't know about that.
And then he just went to his phone and Googled and found one
article that confirmed his point and showed it to me.
And it's like, OK, do we really want to do a Google war 'cause I
can just do the same thing? I can.
I can also just look up an article and be like, well,
actually look at this, or I can just AI overview, you know, like
I, I, I can, I can use my AI overview to go against your AI
overview. It's the same thing.
We're we're using the same Google.
Like half the time I feel like you, instead of having an
argument, you should just have an AI that has all of your
thoughts and opinions and just put it against another AI that's
your friends and then see what logical conclusion it gets to.
That would save time and be better, but then you know you
wouldn't. You wouldn't accept it if it was
like, well actually copilot is right on this one not not my
ChatGPT version. Oh, but which which ChatGPT
version are you using? Doesn't it doesn't matter?
But but yeah, he did that and I just laughed.
I did. I laughed in his face because I
went, dude, it's the same app, bro.
I'm I love him. I love, I love it.
I love it when your friends are like that dumb and they just
you, just you, just they just get called out.
I'm going to take my beanie off. It's a little warm in here.
I need better headphones because I I can't really hear them
through the beanie. But yeah, it's a nice gloomy
day. Sometimes I like a gloomy day,
Sometimes I like a day that you just go.
I can sit. Inside and not feel bad about it
because the weather is dictating that I can just sit inside watch
a movie I've already because I'm not watching a new movie when
it's raining out. I'm watching an old movie that I
know, I know I don't want any surprises.
I want to watch a movie I've seen a bunch of times and just
kind of just live in it, look outside, think about ordering
delivery, and then be reminded that it's going to cost three
times as much. So you go, yeah, whatever.
I still don't want to go out into the rain.
It's it's it's nice. You don't do anything.
A gloomy weather is the only time you feel productive staying
inside and doing absolutely nothing.
You go, I'm doing what my body's telling me to do.
I shouldn't be going outside. It's a danger.
I'm, I'm actually, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm helping the environment
by not going outside. Because if I go outside, I'm
going to get wet and dirty and then I'm going to have to wash
those in a washing machine. And that uses electricity or gas
sometimes. I didn't even know dryers used
gas. Well washers don't use gas are
there? Are there washers that use gas?
Gas washing machine uses gas. Let's see, you just like
freaking hydrogen. Oh, there's no such thing as a
gas powered clothes washer in modern times.
Washing machines are exclusively electric and did not use gas.
Wow. Gas powered washing machines
were produced historically, most notably by Maytag.
I like Maytag. That's the that's the guy,
right? The Maytag's the, the like,
really standard looking white guy who's got the little cap on
right? White Maytag guy.
Yeah. Colin Ferguson.
What else has this guy been in? I wonder if he thought when he
went to. Let's let's let Colin, Colin
Ferguson, let's see what your life is about.
This is he just looks like a nice guy.
You know, he just looks like a nice, decent white guy.
He doesn't look racist. He doesn't look like too
liberal. He just looks like a he looks
like a guy that would go yeah, no, they deserve that.
Yeah. No, we should.
They should get healthcare. No, but also let's not over
subsidized his healthcare company.
You know, like he seems like he would have very superficial
opinions on a lot of things, but they're the right opinions and
they're based in empathy. But it's not too much.
He knows his way around a grill, but he's not obsessed with it.
He doesn't have a smoker. He's got a normal Weber grill
and he grills a couple times a year.
He likes sports, but he's in a die hard fan.
Yeah. Oh, he's Canadian.
Fuck this guy. Never mind.
No, I'm kidding. Yeah, that.
Yeah. OK.
I was right. He's Canadian.
Canadian people are just nicer and kinder and more even
tempered. Actor, director and producer.
OK. Oh, he was he was known for
playing Sheriff Carter on the sci-fi series Eureka, The Maytag
Man and Lewis on Then came. I don't know about any of that.
He's from Montreal and he went to Appleby College and McGill
University. Both sound made-up.
And oh wow, he he's predominantly French, but he has
no, I mean, yeah, I understand. He's a naturalized citizen in
the US. Let's go baby USA.
He's on the improv group. Oh, maybe this guy's funny.
Let's see. I said so many times he's done
some stuff. Did he?
He didn't go to theater school. So he's been in a few things,
and I think he still is the Maytag man.
And he was on the Hallmark. Yeah, he's got a Hallmark face.
He definitely has a Hallmark face, and that's fine.
He has one child. And we're just learning
everything about this guy. Let's see what he OK.
He's he's got a he's got a Lake Placid three.
He's got a decent rap sheet of stuff he's done.
And he's done some TV. Wow.
OK. Damn, this guy's done a lot.
I mean, I'm jealous of this guy's done so much more than me.
Good for you, dude. Right now, I kind of fucking
hate this guy. And he's a director and
producer. Oh, damn, This guy's a Really?
This is just a nice working actor.
I want to see him speak. Colin Ferg.
Ferguson. Maytag.
Man, French. Let's see if we can see if we
can reflects on five seasons of Eureka.
Let's hear it. How loud is this going to be?
OK, there's no sound. Why is there no sound?
Oh, what about now? We have some people returning,
some people affecting the future and the end of Eureka.
Why can you? How?
Why is this audio so bad? There's like people talking in
the background. We have some closure, things
that started a long time ago. Saying absolutely nothing.
What a boring video. But you know, that video was
him, dude. He's he's just straight shooter,
chill, decent guy. Someone you go.
I'd like to hang out with them. I would like to think people.
Think that about me, but I don't I don't think that is what they
think about me Some of them, not all.
Hey, remember to call the hotline 347-566-9741 I'm.
Trying to do something new where I do want you guys to send in
your stories, send in your cringe, ask for some advice, you
know, all the good stuff. But also I think it'd be nice
if. I don't know what that that
accent was getting a little. You know, I think it'd be nice
if people, if you're having a bad, you know, you're having a
bad week, you're having a bad day.
I think it would be kind of nice to call in and just talk about
that. I've been involved in something
recently where I've seen a lot of people talk and just admit
they're having a bad day, they're not feeling well and
they just. Talk about it, and without even.
Without someone even. Trying to like, help and
therapize them, but just just the ability to joke about or not
joke about it, but just just the ability to like, admit it.
I feel like it would be nice and I would like for the show to
have an element of that as well. So if you're having a bad day,
if you want to get something off your chest, if you want to admit
something, we'll keep it anonymous because it already is
I I only say the area code and that could be hundreds of
thousands of people call in say that I'd appreciate it.
I share with you guys. You guys can share with me.
It'll it'll feel it'll feel good is my prediction as someone who
has been on the other side anyway.
So there's that what is what is going on with me?
I. This week I watched
Trainspotting. Hey, sad movie, really sad.
Why did the person who suggested me to watch it, watch it if you
suggest? Oh my God, I'm sorry but my my
nose is itching. You, you, you, you.
This person suggested that I watch Trainspotting and I'm like
this and and and this was after I kind of admitted to him that I
was going through time of feeling artistically not
inspired and I I wanted to get back to trying new thing.
I was, I was opening up to him because he's he's also.
A you know an artist and if you can call what this is art.
And so I admitted that to him and he goes, you should watch
the movie Trainspotting. So then I put it on.
I, I looked up what it was about.
It's about heroin addicts. And I go OK so this must be
like. This must be a movie where where
even though someone's at the depths of the depths of of their
bottoming out and they're, they're, they're at their rock
bottom, they're not doing well. They are.
What is another word? Desperate?
They're in a time of desperation, but they must look
at life and be appreciative and see the nice things in life and
go on a journey where they appreciate just being alive.
Maybe it's that I go, that must be what it's about.
Maybe it's a bunch of fun heroin addicts running around and
saying even though we're at the worst of times from the outside,
I somehow also learned more about myself and the universe at
at that moment. That's what I thought it was
about. That's what I was ready for at
10:00 PM. Putting that on, what I got was
an extremely depressing movie about people doing heroin and it
ruining their lives, ruining their lives.
And the end is not even really redeeming.
The guy does something super shitty at the end and you're
just kind of thinking, OK, is this rock'n'roll?
Is that what we're? It's a movie for 19 year olds.
You know when you're 19 you and you watch what is it Requiem for
a dream? I think it's the same guy that
did Requiem for a dream. Who did Requiem for a dream.
I saw that once high and it really fucked my entire year up.
Like like I watched that movie high and my friend said you
should get high and watch this. Another asshole and I haven't
been the same since. God, it's so messed up.
Marlon Wayans is in Requiem for a Dream, bro.
Marlon Wayans is like low key a good actor.
What? This is crazy.
Yeah. This is like when you're when
you're 19 and you'd think just watching pain and people dying
is is interesting and good art because you haven't experienced
it enough. So it is a.
It is. Filling in for that and then
because it makes you feel anything because, because
you're, so you, you haven't learned how to have a, because
when you're young, you like haven't learned how to have
emotions yet. Some people have, but a lot of
like as a guy, you, you like need to like learn and men need
to be taught how to have emotions.
And that's not me saying like, Oh, men don't have feelings.
No, you need to like learn how to have emotions because if not,
you'll just have none. You need to learn how to feel
them and understand them and not act on them and see where it's
coming. You have to like learn how to
have it so you don't go zero to 100 so you can have a little bit
of sadness and not just fully go all the way in because you know,
the mouse can have a little cookie.
The mouse can have a mouse. He can have a little bit of
depression, just a little. He's not going to dive full into
the depression deep end, but he can have a little depression.
He can dip his toe in, he can feel sad and because he knows
how to have emotions, he's not going to dive head first.
He's just going to dip his big in his middle and maybe the
pinky toe in as well. Somehow the ring doesn't make
it. He does that thing where he does
this and he dips just that in to have a little bit of depression,
but not the entire. The entire. 8 foot deep pool of
it. That's when you learn to have
emotions. When you learn to have emotions,
you understand how to regulate them.
You understand how to self soothe.
If you don't, then Mousey jumps fully into the 8 foot deep
depression pool and maybe his hair gets caught in the drain at
the bottom and he never comes up.
Or it takes him about a year and a half.
And that is not saying that. He, you know, suicided himself,
but that's just what sometimes happens.
Guys aren't good at talking about their few.
I also would like guys to be able to express themselves more
on the show. I I that that is a a dream and a
goal for the show is to have more men able to express
themselves and their emotions anonymously if they'd like to,
and we can talk about that we can have.
That can be part of the show because one of the listeners,
they suggested this guy like. Watches almost everyone on the
YouTube love this guy. You know who you are.
I think you have like a. Cat.
In your profile picture of your PFP, then you have a cat and he
suggested the split the show up, you know, like little 20 minute
segments. So I'm going to, I'm going to
probably do that on the YouTube. The the the show, the audio is
going to be one. I'm not going to, I'm not going
to split them up. Maybe I'll start doing Part 1
and 2, we'll see. But right now I'd feel like, I
mean, you guys can tell me, would you rather me do Part 1
on, on Monday and then Part 2 on Thursday?
Do you think, I mean, you guys already all listen, but do you
think more people would listen or would you listen more?
I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm willing to hear
the feedback. I'm not going to necessarily
take it, but I'm willing to. Hear it?
We haven't even talked about Taylor Swift, but yeah, I
watched this movie and it was just I'm just go.
This is a 19 year old guy movie. And and the Requiem for a Dream
is by Darren Aronofsky, who's trained spotting by Danny Boyle.
Different, completely different person.
It reminded me of it had the same vibe.
Came out 96. Requiem for a Dream came out
2000. I kind of want to watch Requiem
for a Dream again just. To see if it is as good as I
remember, or if that was just me being 19 and having seen 18
films that weren't Transformers. Because I'll tell you what dude,
I stick by transform. The first Transformers is still
an absolute. Banger of a movie.
It's so good and it gets me. It gets the blood pumping.
Dude. I watch Transformers, no joke.
I go, I wish that I was Shia LaBeouf in that movie.
I want that to happen to me. I'm dude, I fully I fully had
the thought I go. I want an alien race of robots
to invade earth just so that I can get picked by bumblebee and
save the planet with all these sick ass robot roll out.
I I I wanted that. I want to meet Optimus Prime.
I want to fight the I want to fight.
The deca, what are they called? Autobots and the deceptive.
I want to fight the Decepticons fully.
I fully as a 15 year old go was like, I want nothing more than
Transformers to be real and for me to be the one that Bumblebee
picks. And obviously that's partially
because he gets to hook. Up with Megan Fox and yeah, I
wanted to do that. Obviously.
I'm 15 years old and I don't even care about her toe thumbs.
I'm 15 years old and I'm like, I'm in.
I'm sure she's a nice lady and is very intellectually
stimulating as well. So I'm, it would, it would be
great. I want to have a relationship
with her. I just want, I don't want to
just hook up with Megan Fox. I want to have a relationship
with her. I want to hear her thoughts on
deep seated issues. I want to be philosophical.
I don't want to just take her out once.
No, it's not how I roll. I'm in my 30s now.
I'm not just trying to crack. I'm trying to hear your thoughts
on Plato's Cave. That's what I want to know.
I'm. I'm not trying to just get it
in. I want to hear what you think
about socialized medicine. OK, That's where I'm at now.
I'm 33. I don't want to.
I just, I don't want to see you take your top off.
I want you to put a top on. And I want for us to talk about
Nietzsche and is God dead? And what even is God?
That's where I'm at now, right? And if you're under 25, I don't
want to do that because your brain doesn't work yet.
Not really dating anyone under 25 anyway, but I'm just saying I
don't, I don't now, now, now there's nothing going to be
there's not going to be a lot there.
And this is no hate to anyone who's under 25 listening.
Why you don't want to be going out with Anka anyway, but some
of you might have. But you know.
More often than not, I'm talking to someone who's under 25 and I
go, I just, I just your, your brain isn't it's not there yet.
And I don't want to be doing the thing where I where you say
something and I go. And then I'm like, when you're
older, you'll think differently. But it's but it but but but but
but but but it's true that that's what it is.
It's true. And and I know I don't want to
be that person and maybe not for.
Everyone but you know what I mean, right?
It's you're not going to think this way because your brain is
going to change because it's not fully created.
Your your brain is a unripe banana.
You're 24 years old. Your brain is a green banana.
It hasn't fully ripened yet. So yeah, you think all of these
dumb things in your head. And some people's brains never
become ripe banana. Some of them always.
Some people's brains go from green banana to to moldy black
mushy banana. They overwrite.
It's like sometimes no one gets in the middle and that's the
problem. All these, all these 23 year old
guys get taken over by like men, men, you know, manosphere shit.
Fuck, this isn't funny. No, it's, it's kind of funny.
And there they have unripe, unripe and banana brains.
I'm going to call those people banana brains.
And that's because they're unripe and they're green banana
brains and not like plantains, you know, which can make some
good chips. They're unripe and banana
brains. And man, we're fucking cooking
on this. What are we at?
We're at 23 minutes, OK. I, I, I, man, there's so much to
talk about. And we have calls and we have
Taylor Swift and we have, OK, this Disney thing.
This is Evergreen. I don't have to talk about this
today, but I volunteered this morning.
That was a lot of fun. It's good to do that.
You got to volunteer. It feels, it feels nice to do
it. Yeah, if you have a lot going
on, you know, I mean, you still should.
It's nice. And here's what's so funny about
dude, about me. I cannot keep my mouth shut.
I can't. If I have an opinion on
something, it takes everything in me not to say it.
Luckily, I don't know these people, so I kept a lot of them
inside. But like.
Bro I can't just exist and not have an opinion on shit.
I don't understand people that are like that.
I walk into a place and immediately I go I don't like
that, I like that that's good you do that and I don't like
that you do that. And the way you're talking to me
I don't really appreciate. But I'll only say 2 of the I
just, I have opinions on everything.
I don't know why. It's who I am and I can't
control it and I'm not going to try to change who I am.
I'm 33 now. No, I'm in my Jesus year dude.
Guess what? Not changing it.
Jesus wasn't working on self improvement.
He was who he was. Maybe he wasn't.
I don't. I don't.
I haven't read the Bible. Maybe he talks about so maybe
maybe one one of the chapters, Luke is like thou shall get a
Tony Robbins book. Thou shall go to a Tony Robbins
class and pay $4000 to walk on coals.
Thou shall thou shall watch videos of Mark Mason at least.
Is it Mark Manson? It's probably Mark Manson,
right? It's Mark Manson.
Mark Manson, Yeah. It's Mark Manson, right?
Yeah. Thou shall watch 1 Mark Manson.
Beautiful shit. Oh shit, I scare the fuck out of
myself. Oh man, I'm having a good time.
I haven't had a good time doing this podcast in a little bit and
this I mean, I have a good time, but like this one, I'm really
just off the rails having a good time.
The coffee is good and and then the the waters there.
I haven't taken a sip enough. I'm, I have, I have 3/4 left of
the coffee. You know what it is?
Before the podcast, I said to myself, you're going to have a
good time. I said, you're going to go and
you're going to do the podcast and you're going to have a good
time. And you're not going to think
about why you doing the podcast like is, oh, you know, is this,
is this good? Is this sound good?
Is it? No, you just, you're going to go
in, you're going to have a good time.
You're not going to think about. How is the lighting?
Because you know I am actually looking.
Fuck, I should turn the backlight on whatever.
You, you, you're not going to think about all these things
because that's not the important part is having a good time and,
and giving the audience and the listeners an hour where they
don't think because that's what this show is.
I've decided there's so much happen in the world and there's
so much stress and there's so much anguish and fun and
positivity. But also a lot of negativity
because that's what's keep, that's what keeps us on these
apps and that's what keeps us swiping and sending and all of
that. There's a lot.
And you go on you go and you try not, you know.
You open up TikTok, you go, yeah.
And there's a party that's like, I want to not think for a little
bit. But then you open it up and then
videos come up and you get mad or upset or what It ticks you
off. You turn on the news and not
think. Now you get mad about that.
You turn on TV and then you get mad.
Every single Netflix show looks the same and it's all diarrhea
coming out of Ted Sarandos or whatever his name is.
It's not Sarandos. What's his name?
Head of Netflix. Not not to, not to.
Dude please put me on a show. How?
How little? Morals I have Oh my God I was
right. Holy shit.
Sometimes I pull stuff and I go. I thought it was a Greek guy.
Is he Greek? Is Ted Sarandos Greek?
Ted Sarand Greek? Is he Greek?
That sounds kind of Greek. Yeah, he's Greek American.
Yeah, Anyway, I was right. Yeah, all of Netflix now is just
Ted Sarandos eating some chips and then diarrhea.
Just having diarrhea. And then that's what we get on
the screen. Netflix is, Ted Sarandos thought
diarrhea. It's just enough to keep you
coming back and it all looks exactly the same.
You know, they, they, they have this new, they have this new and
do Ted Sarandos put me on. I'll do whatever, bro.
I really don't care. But you can't admit that a lot
of the stuff is. And some of the some of the slop
I like. Dude, I watch Hey unabashedly.
I watch Wednesday and I like it and I'm a 33 year old man and I
like it and there's mystery involved and I like the colors
and I like some of the magical shit they do and it makes me
laugh and it takes me out of my head and it's great and I like
that. I need to show that that
completely takes me out of it. And there's no politics
involved, nothing injected, no current events.
I mean, it's just a dumb different world and it's and
it's just enough for me to watch.
But it's not too involved that I start getting like real emotions
because sometimes there's so much shit going on and you're
like, I can't. Even have an emotion.
I need something dumb. Anyway, the whole.
Point of this is to say this podcast is for you to not think
for an hour. You, you, you turn it on and my
consciousness is injected into your ears or into your eyes if
you're watching on YouTube and you just get to just follow the
crazy train bro and just not think for a little.
Bit and it's nice, it's really nice to just because when I
listen to, I actually like solo podcast because I, I, I'm like,
I'm not thinking as much when I have them.
I'm not having the internal monologue.
I'm having this guy's internal monologue and having this,
having someone else's internal monologue is actually very nice
because it's a privilege. You don't get that a lot.
There aren't that many good solo.
Podcasts, you know, you got Dylan, you got another comedian
that you know, a lot of people are like, he got cancelled, so
you shouldn't really be listening to that.
You got Emma Chamberlain. Try listening to that.
But not for me, fortunately. And that's pretty much it there.
I'm sure there are other ones, but there's not a lot where
you're just on the ride and you get.
Someone else's stream of consciousness injected.
You get the Broski report. She's good too.
These are my peers. Not right now, but if you look
at the downloads, not even close.
But these are the peers that I am claiming.
So that a rising tide lifts. All ships and even if one of the
ships is at the. Bottom of the ocean.
And then he gets slingshotted up to the top with these other
peers that he claims. I'd say 30 or 3630.
OK, cool. Good, good, good, good.
That's what the podcast is. Take a seat.
All right, Have my consciousness injected into your brain.
It's nice. What?
You. You.
Ain't going to think about
anything listening to the show except holy fuck how does he do
it? Holy, you're just not going to
be thinking about anything but every now and then just.
Going to be like, how does he do it?
And maybe not the last that's that's kind of you're.
Going to be like, how? Oh my God, how does he do it,
Dylan? Oh my God.
And then I might make a bad joke and he'll be like, Nope, no.
Fuck. You might, you know, but
sometimes it's nice making a bad joke and then eventually you
will listen so much and you'll tell so many people that you'll
be like, Hey, you know what? I'm signing up for the Patreon.
Hey, I'm signing up so that he can afford to get a full sound
board because you already know I'll have a bunch, a bunch of
sounds. What the fuck?
Oh, volunteering. So I'm volunteering and I get
in. And we're making.
Food for low income, unhoused, homeless, whatever the fuck you
want to call it because they don't care.
They're not like hey, call me unhoused.
We're we're making food pudding in bags, passing it out, passing
out coffee, which is great. Dude.
Honestly, passing out coffee at 9:00 AM to someone because you
know that like this is fantastic.
It's their first cup of coffee. Oh man, it's nice to watch
someone enjoy that. But we're, we're making, we're
making food for these other fellow human beings.
And I, I look at the food and it's a bunch of white bread and,
and Jelly and like not good Jelly, like shitty Jelly and
then a little bit of peanut butter and then some sugar
yogurt and Coca Cola's and a Nutrigrain bar.
And I'm looking at all of this and I just I'm holding my tongue
when I'm like this is. Really unhealthy, like I can't,
you know, you know what it is. It's that pessimistic side of
your I should that's what it was the pessimistic side of me.
I should have just just just been happy to be there and be
helping, but then immediately my brain goes like, how can I?
Sometimes you got to stop. Someone you don't have to.
You don't have to improve every situation you're in.
You can just be there. You can just exist.
You don't have to find and that's my that's my issue is
that I go into situations and I and I just feel because maybe
because I feel like I have to improve myself all the time, I
go into a situation and go, how do I improve the situation?
I'm not good enough this situation, but of course can't
be good enough. I need.
To improve it. And yes, it's good because there
are places to improve, but you don't have to hyper focus on
that. I could just go in and say, Hey,
I'm happy to be making meals for someone else.
But of course I go in and I go, how do I, how do I make this
better? Because I'm so, you know, I'm,
I'm, I'm changing lives. I'm not going to do shit,
obviously, but I'm, I'm trying not to do that.
And I, and I, I look past it, I get over it, I get over it.
I go, at least we're giving him food.
I'm still thinking about it the entire time.
Eventually I do bring up someone else in there and they're like,
no, I know I do have mixed feelings about what we're doing
and what we're doing in the food we're giving and whether it's
healthy or beneficial or not. And then I go, yes, it's not
just me, OK, I'm not that weird. I can connect with someone else,
a shared sense of, of criticism. And we both, you know, are
understand, you know, I used I used the term food desert to
show them that I've listened to one podcast about poor people
and they wouldn't they would say social, What would they say
economically disadvantaged people?
And I just go. Poor.
They're just poor. We just call them what they are.
They're poor scum. They're poor scum.
They're urchins. They're on the street.
They're St. people. OK, Yeah.
Disaffected youth. No, they're they're worms.
They're slugs that we're helping.
No, that's not no talk, but we're we're we're there.
We're doing that and then. You know, and then I start, I
start making these meals and then I started thinking about
them as being the person that gets them.
And so then I started looking at I just, I do, I can't be in a
situation and not have some kind of critical thing to, to say.
And that's maybe he's bad. And I think that's why I'm a
comedian. It's just who I am.
You know what, it's not bad. Jesus year, I'm 30, I'm 33 in my
Jesus year. I'm not changing.
I'm I'm accepting who I am because I'm a good person.
So anyway, I'm there and I'm watching this guy make the
sandwiches. I don't say anything, but he's
not putting enough peanut butter on and I know that because I
imagined myself not having access.
To a lot of food getting peanut butter sandwich and they're not
being a lot of peanut butter on it.
And then me being pissed as fuck and going, wow, these
motherfuckers gave me free food, but they can't even put, you
can't even put an extra scoop of peanut butter on it.
I'm fucking homeless. Really.
You couldn't put an extra scoop of peanut butter?
I don't have a house. I'm fucking poor, man.
Fuck. Just like just just losing it.
Feel so good about yourself making a sandwich.
You couldn't put an extra spread of Jelly on there?
I don't have socks. I lost one of my feet to
diabetes, but somehow I'm also I don't have enough food.
I'm thinking of that and so then I instead of saying something, I
just pick up another thing of peanut butter and I just go
behind him and I start double dipping because I go.
Because I go, yeah, these, these, I go there.
If you coming to my food, if you coming to my food drive and you
getting sandwiches and food from me, you're going to be full.
You're not going to want to go. I don't want you to even go to
the other food drives. Fuck those other food drives.
OK? And I know we're working
together, but I don't want you to go to those food drives.
I want you to come to mind. And I want you to after you eat
what I'm giving you, be like, damn, I'm so full.
I can't even make it. I'm getting, I'm getting a food
coma from how filling this peanut butter and Jelly.
I want you to almost be like, that's too much food.
He he peanut butter the shit out of this peanut butter and and
Jelly. And that's what I did.
I did a extra thing of peanut butter and I didn't say shit to
him. And it was kind of.
Passive aggressive but also he doesn't give a shit.
They don't care. They're just doing what they can
because, because, because. But but but but there is a part
of me that goes like how are you not thinking about this dude?
How are you not think It's like when?
It's like when. I'm flying today.
Absolutely flying. It's like when you're at
Chipotle, you know, when you're at Chipotle and you ask them for
a scoop of rice and a scoop of like whatever, you're at
Chipotle and you're ordering and you see them not filling your
bowl up. And you want to just be like,
hey, what did I do to you? Why do you care?
You don't own this food. No one is saying anything to
you. Just put more don't make me ask
for another thing of rice and and and or beans, because then
I'm going to feel like a fat ass.
I'm going to do it. But why do you want me to feel
like a fat ass? Or, or maybe just give me the
extra give me the extra rice. Fill the bowl up.
I'm looking at the bowl and there's a lot of extra space in
it. Shouldn't we be reusing all of
the bowl? You guys made them that size for
a reason. So let's use the entire bowl.
OK, I would that. That's how I feel.
That's how I feel when I'm I'm at Chipotle and I want to just
be like, sometimes I want to just be like, hey, the fuck's
going up, Just be like. Hey, is that did we date?
Excuse me ago there were we were did we date?
Did we used to be girlfriend or boyfriend or no, No, I'd be like
I'd be actually be like, are we dating?
Excuse me, are we are we are we in a physical intimate
relationship? Are we boyfriend or girlfriend?
And they say no and I go then why are you fucking me with the
why you? Why are you?
Why are you fucking me so hard with the bull?
Because if we're dating, I understand.
Are we are we in a situation ship?
Are we are we hooking up any of that?
It's fine. That would make sense that
you're but but if but if but if we're not, why are you fucking
me so hard with the with the Chipotle, with the bull, with
the rice bowl, with the Chipotle, with the with the with
the breathable. I don't know.
You don't know me. Yeah.
So if if you don't know me, why you why you fucking me so hard?
You know, we spank my ass if we're going to do it.
That's how I feel when I'm making this, when I'm making
this food. And so then I, I went through
and I go, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to be the stingy
Chipotle guy. I'm going to go through and I'm
going to make these peanut butter sandwiches so good
because if I do something, I'm going to do a right, I don't do
it half assed And I've, I crushed those sandwiches.
I absolutely crushed them and it was good and I had a good time.
And you know, some more shit happened where this woman, I
just, I just, I had man, I, I held my tongue so much, but I
didn't want to because I just, I can't.
When someone says some shit that I am like, that doesn't mean
anything. I want so bad.
Everything in my being says everything in my being wants to
be like, what does that mean? Hey, that is what you just said
doesn't mean anything. Well, that's bullshit, huh?
I just just, there's, I there's so many times in life where
someone says something and it takes everything in me.
Not to be like. Huh.
What the fuck did you? Just what are you talking about?
What you had to literally be like what are you talking about?
What you really just said? I know technology.
That doesn't mean shit bro. You use your credit card on the
bus and not your phone because you know too much about
technology? What the fuck does that mean?
Nothing, it doesn't mean anything.
People steal credit cards all the time from gas stations and
shit. They can swipe it.
What do you what does it mean? I know too much about
technology. People just say shit and and
expect no one else to call them on it.
And I will not be that human being.
If you say some shit that means nothing and you know it means
nothing, I'm going to be the one to be like, hey, what do you
mean by that? No, no, no.
I'm going to follow up on what you know, technology you've done
the. Research.
About what? You know what?
China. Is really up to huh?
I'm that cat. Haw Haw Haw.
I'm that cat. If if I had if I had more
soundboard sounds, I would. I would.
The honk cat on Instagram has 951,000 followers.
That makes me feel really good about myself.
Honk cat meme for 10 hours. Someone made this.
It has 265,000 views. We are crumbling as a society.
1010 hours. What's the average watch time?
I actually just want to comment what are the analytics for this?
It's just this for 10 hours. Wow.
Oh my God 427 comments we are saying huh?
With this one. This was truly beautiful.
Everything, even when it turns around, beautiful.
I'm bawling my eyes out. This is such a masterpiece made
with such love. And the story.
Wow. I should.
I mean, oh, my God. It's funny.
I don't think so. Yeah.
I'm a hug. I had.
I had to call her out for her. And I just I that's my job.
That's who I am. Some people, you know, it's a
personality trait. That's who I am.
Let's go to some calls. Let's go to some call.
I've talked for way too. I'm not I'm not even going to
get to Taylor. We'll talk about we'll end with
Taylor. I guess I put up some more
posters and then someone called and was like, hey, I want to be
on the podcast because I want to be famous.
And I go no, dude, anyone. They're like, I would be good in
the podcast. As soon as someone says that, I
go, no, you wouldn't. So stop doing that.
Let's see, we got a couple messages.
Someone last night was just like, hey, I, I messed up and
then they didn't, they never followed up.
Are you able to find fulfillment as an artist under graduation?
I want to do that one first. Holy shit, this is a this is a
pretty intense one. Let's let's let's listen to this
one. Oh no, first let's do a follow
up. OK, so follow up, this is from
the person that did the Jeopardy follow up.
The if you guys don't remember some, some, let's just read it.
A guy told me he bought Jeopardy on Steam and the answer was the
prettiest girl in 2000s. And the question was who is?
And then they they said her name.
This felt very cringe. And then they said, following
up. He is my ex's best.
Friend so already bro breaking the code he snapped.
He snapchatted me a video. It was jeopardy.
The tile flipped around and said the prettiest girl born in the
2000s. He then flipped his camera
around to himself and said who is let's just say her name is
Erica. Who is Erica?
It's cringe because I have rejected him so many times and
he won't stop trying. It was not an an A Randall off
the nap. That would have been funny.
Wow, that's that is dude, that's OK.
That's unapologetically cringe like that.
Sucks bro, when a dude is just trying so hard and #1 he's
betraying his boy and and has horrible rizz, horrible game and
he hits you with that. Oh yeah, that's bad.
Cringe a lot of cringe is good when we celebrate it and if I
talk to the guy I'm sure we could celebrate that as well and
some weird way but stop trying to fuck your friends
ex-girlfriend. Like dude since Snapchat dudes a
man sending a Snapchat is cringe 24/7 100%.
A man sending a Snapchat is cringe 100% of the time.
I don't care what's happening. I don't know what it is.
It could, it could literally be I don't even know what it could
be. That's not cringe.
A guy I could, I could literally be like, hey, I'm sending you
$100,000 cringe. The the the you could get out of
surgery. You could have just gotten heart
surgery and you were you had a 2% chance of living and then you
survive and then you get on Snapchat and Snapchat your
family and girlfriend. I made it.
I'm so happy to be alive. Every day is beautiful cringe
dude. It's just having Snapchat as a
guy is so cringe, man. I hate it.
I don't make the rules. It just is true.
It's something about it because just every guy is one step away
from just being like, yo, what are you wearing?
Yo, you up? You trying to get into something
later? Let me crack.
Like. Every guy is, I don't know, 5
minutes away from getting there, truly.
You just get a guy just horny enough he'll do anything on
snap. They shouldn't You shouldn't be
loud. It should be it's if you dude,
if you're a girl and you open up a guy's if you're a girl and you
see Snapchat on a guy's phone X and that goes for me too.
I got Snapchat on my phone. I'm a red flag.
It's a bad sign. Maybe if you have and if you're
in a relationship and you're, if you're in a relationship and
your man has Snapchat, he is cheating on you full stop.
Because people in relationships don't use Snapchat to send
nudes. You want to know why they just
use text because they're in a relationship.
Why would you just that's the whole point.
You get to look at it continuously.
You don't get to look at it once or you do it on IG or something.
Snapchat Nah you you should have to you should have to submit
your ID when you download Snapchat and if you're over 28
they should send you to the police like dude, that's why I'm
being and I'm being and I'm being kind with 28 now I I got
asked to download it by a by a girl.
So I mean that, that, that, that, that that's different.
You know, like I, I get a pass, but.
It should be like Bumble. You can only download Snapchat
if a girl. Yeah, yes, Snapchat should be
like Bumble where you can only download it if a girl sends the
request to you. That's the only time and you can
only send a snap. If a girl sends you one first
and puts request in the message, that's how it.
Should be and obviously, you know, Evans Eagle or whatever is
not going to do that because then the company would fail,
but. But thanks for the follow up.
OK, so here's what's going to happen.
We're going to, we're going to go over these things.
Weren't like, dude, I've been just talking.
And I can't cut any of it out because I think it's all been
absolute gas. Am I right, guys?
We're at the Shell station. We're at a mobile dude, this
this podcast has been this podcast has been BP absolute
gas. Fuck Nope.
This podcast has been This podcast has been shell with V.
What what is it called V Strom or what what is what is the shit
they put in in Exxon? Exxon gas additive?
I wish I could guess that. The fuck What?
Is it Synergy? This Exxon's Mobil?
This, this, this podcast has been Exxon.
This this podcast has been Exxon Mobil with synergy added.
Hey, guys, I'll be here all week.
I'm going to jump off the balcony right after this
podcast. So so we have that and then here
we go. This guy sent AI don't know if
this guy's a listener or if he just found my I think he's a
listener because he used my name.
Let's see five O 2 because we got to find out five O 2 area
code. Is it Jersey?
North Central Kentucky. All right, cool.
Shout out, dude. I love finding out people from
all over the damn country are listening to these.
Hey, Dylan, I'm in a situation that is pretty ideal on paper,
but it comes with some drawbacks.
All right, let's hear it. Hold on, take a little sip.
A year ago, I moved into a house that my dad owns.
He bought it for my grandma about 20 years ago, but she
passed in 2020. I'm sorry Ball or though that
your dad did that for those few years after I was reluctant to
move in because it is a fixer upper that has and continuous
that has an oak that has and continues to require a lot of
updates. My dad is retired and also a
huge DIY handyman. This is something I valued but
also resented since I'm very much the opposite.
And he sent a little cute emoji that's that's nice.
The projects have been labor intensive and whenever I suggest
paying a pro with my own money, he objects.
Additionally, both my parents are prone to extreme hoarding
and have their own products that have been incomplete since I was
a teenager. He's 30 years old.
This past weekend I just really wanted to relax.
But he started a project that several pros have said is not
necessary for what we are trying to do.
The results were a. Disaster.
Navigating the home is more difficult now than before and I
lost my whole weekend. I know I may sound like a brat,
but should I book a service anyway, which I have done before
in small ways? Deal with it and be grateful.
That I have a place to live, leave and find a place that I
like better. Risky.
I actually really like this guy. FAQ.
Why not just sell that this guy put frequently asked questions
for his submission. This is how you do submissions,
man. This guy.
And he sent it at 11:51 PM so it's late.
It's not. He's not even at peak hours.
His Adderall isn't even hitting that hard and he's still doing
this is a. Model listener and a model
submission. This is the maybe the best
submission we've had. I love all all the other ones as
well, but this one is just. Why not just sell the house
answer. It's paid off and he wants to
keep it in the family. Why not let another low?
Why not let another? Relative live there.
I've been told that it's my inheritance.
OK, those are good. This is great.
So it's your inheritance. So then you can claim some
ownership of what happens to the house, right?
You can claim some ownership of what happens to the house.
Number one, I don't think you sound like a brat because you
live there and it's paid off. And I do have some like do you,
do you have to pay property taxes?
Do you put any money into it? Because if you put money into
it, then that helps you to claim more ownership and control.
Over what happens, I would say that as #1 something to
consider. I don't think you should just
deal with it and be great. You should be grateful that you
have a place to live. I don't think you should leave.
This sounds sick and and and hold on.
You don't your dad doesn't live there, right?
I'd say he bought it for my grandma for those years.
My dad's retired and also a huge DOI.
So I feel like you live close to your dad, but you live there
alone, right? If you're OK, this is.
This is the. Part that made me think
immediately you need to hire someone.
Both my parents are prone to extreme hoarding and have their
own projects that have been incomplete since I was a
teenager. Yeah, so your parents love to
start things and they don't like to finish them.
Hey, no hate. We all do that.
I got a DDI do that all the time.
Fine. Yeah, you got to hire someone.
Full stop. Hire someone to do shit.
And if your dad says something, just be like, it's my money.
It's it's what I want to do with it.
You can help, Dad. You can, you know what you can
go. You know what you could do?
You could be like, hey, Dad, I hire, let's say install a new
toilet and fix the sink. Let's say that's a smaller
project. You go, Dad, it's Monday.
Next Monday, someone is coming to install the toilet and fix
it. You have until then to do it on
your own like you said you would, because you're a
handyman. And if you don't, this guy's
going to do it and I'm going to be happy to pay him the money.
But if you can do it before, then be my guest.
Because because you don't want me to spend money and you want
to do it on your own. Also, it's better if someone
else does it because then you have the insurance of the in
case they fuck up, blah, blah, blah.
You got to set. This is what happens with people
that don't finish things. You got to set timelines and you
got to set deadlines. And that's what you should do
with your family. And I mean, I don't know how
much DIY stuff you're doing, but also, yeah, it ruined your
weekend. That sucks, dude.
So so. And start hiring people.
Just start hiring. Just just hire as many people as
possible because then your dad was not going to be able to even
deal with how many people are there fixing stuff and say it's
it's your way of saying thank you for for for him letting you
live in the house. That's what I think you should
do that. I mean, this is a sick set up.
Honestly. Do not leave.
Be grateful, but also fix the place up.
You live there. So you should do A and you
should also do B. You should not do C and you know
if you're 30 you should pay the property taxes as well.
I don't know what they are. What are Kentucky Kentucky
property taxes That's I mean I don't even know if I'm going to
be able to like figure this out. OK, Kentucky property tax high
cutter. Let's let's say OK, into into
your location. I, I don't know fucking 4003.
I, I don't know where that is. So let's just say that the
assessed home value 500K. Let's say the the home is
$800,000. Pretty good home.
I don't know what that gets you in Kentucky. 16 houses.
What just shitting on Kentucky for no reason in my bed.
Wow, I just had a crazy Deja vu. Oh oh I know because I use this
for something for work. If it's $800,000 of property
taxes are $6600 a year. So that's what $500 a month,
right, $600 a month, maybe 55550 whatever, just pay.
You should pay those if you don't already, because then you
can go. I'm, I'm keeping the house
going. I'm paying the property taxes.
I'm taking control of of this. And that's your rent.
I don't know what your rent situation is, but that that'll.
Also give you more. Leeway to be like, dad, this is
me taking control and taking ownership.
Dad, I'm 30 years old. I want to be and then you can
also like present it as like I want to be a man kind of thing
because because dads connect with that.
Also, by the way, last podcast there was that hissing noise.
I figured out what it was. It's the fourth input.
Look, this is this is what it sounded like before.
Remember it sounded like that the entire podcast and I tried
to remove it and it really pissed me off and but I figured
it out. I figured it out.
Yep, I need to get a new clapping sound.
That one really sounds like rain.
OK, what time is it 57? OK, listener who I said I would
talk about something this week. We'll talk about it next week.
I'm going to I'll text him and be like, I'll talk about it next
week. Because we, we, we got involved
in so much other stuff. The dude like, Oh my God,
there's so much that I man. Why do I want to do Portland
Frog? No see This is why I mean.
I mean, I maybe will have to eventually have Patreon or
something because I, I, I could definitely do this from the 3434
minutes. I mean the Taylor Swift thing,
like her podcast, her, her podcast, Jesus, imagine, do you
imagine she gets that's how you know someone is, is failing as,
as celebrities when they have a podcast.
That's how you know shit is not going well.
No offense, Amy Poehler, no offense, everyone that has a
podcast, but when they get a podcast, you know shit is not
going well and they just need money.
They have they have a second house that they have to pay off
the mortgage that they go. Why don't I just start a
podcast? People can listen to me fart for
an hour now. I would still make the 100 KA
month doing that. So I tried to watch a video
about like why Taylor Swift's album is bad and I.
I, I, I, I I've. Never really liked her so it
doesn't really mean anything to me but.
Life is the Taylor Swift's album Not Being Well just is another
example of how happy people don't make good art.
You have to be unhappy. Taylor Swift's album shows that
you got to be unhappy to make good art.
Because she fell in love with Travis, Kelsey or Kelce,
whatever his name is, and she got dicked down by him.
And now she's making ARC about how she was ahmatized.
She's digmatized. Ahmatized, you know.
She's she's, she's making songs about how she's finally getting
Dick down and then her music sucks.
I guess that's what happens. And man, it must you my God,
Joe, that the other guy, what is his name?
Who is her boy? Her ex-boyfriend?
What are her ex boyfriend's name?
Jake Joanal. Dude.
Jake Joanal must feel upset listening to the album.
And she's just talking about how good Travis Kelce's Dick is.
And he's like, OK, well, I guess mine made you write some of the
best albums ever because you were sad the entire time.
I wasn't. I wasn't giving it to you,
Right? That's happy.
People don't make good art usually, and that is shown in
this album. She's happy.
She's about to get married. She's a billionaire, so she's
also completely out of touch. Out of touch.
People don't make good art either.
Look at anyone's art, as soon as they start to get famous and
rich, it goes down. It's not good.
It's just kind of how it goes. She's a billionaire, she's
traveling the world. She's completely out of touch,
as she should be. She's a billionaire and the one
thing that made her relatable to people, the one thing that made
her relatable to her fans, which was being sad and not being in
not having a good relationship and like maybe being toxic is
now done. It's now over because she found
a man and she's going to get married.
So the. The women can't relate to her
anymore because she's like, I got digmatized, I got agmatized
and I'm happy and things are great and she's making horrible
pop songs. I I mean, be happy for her.
She can't. This is this can't a Can't a
woman just make a bad album every now and then?
Can a lady not get some good Dick and make a bad album?
Can a lady not hop on a Can a lady not hop on a football
player's pole and then make an album that's horrible and this
is Charlie XCX for no reason because she's probably jealous?
Can a woman not bounce on it and be a big can a woman?
Can a woman not bounce on the day and and be a billionaire and
make an album that upsets all of her fans for how vapid and beige
and boring it is? Let her live.
People are making like hour long responses to it.
And I go, this is I I tried. I tried looking and being like,
what's so bad about it? And she's girl.
She's girl bossing too hard. Yeah.
I mean, her, her, her. Maybe your lyrics were never
that good and you're just like, she's just fully, I don't know.
I just let her live. Let her be happy with her new
Dick, you know, take that, you know, enjoy that Dick.
Taylor. I'm happy for you finally
getting some good Dick at however old you are.
How old is she? How was she 19?
Oh, she born in 1989. I should have known that, but
also I shouldn't have. She's 35 years old.
OK. Wow, Taylor.
Like, good for you. Taylor, you're 35 years old and
you're finally getting some good Dick.
You're you're Taylor, you're 35 years old.
You're finally getting some good Dick and you're making bad music
because of it now. But I'm happy.
For you, you've you've come full circle.
It's all you're getting filled up by Travis Kels.
Yeah, that's. And that's how I'm ending the
podcast. That's fantastic.
I could let's just talk about. But what's the thing with
Charlie XCX? Taylor Swift's new song,
Actually Romantic has sparked widespread speculation.
That is a diss track. Aim at Charlie XCX.
Both songs have. Both artists have denied a feud.
The song lyrics, which reference being called a boring Barbie and
having an ex ghosted, are widely interpreted as a response to
Charlie Xex's 2024 track Sympathy is a Knife, which fans
believe always tell us this. Past relationships with Maddie
Healey, a bandmate of Charlie's husband's George Daniel.
To describe the song as a love letter to someone who hates you,
showing this as of attention as a fluttering romantic.
Well Charlie, I just want to encrypt the Instagram.
Like to me about Swift making my God, someone saw that Charlie
XCX liked a meme about Taylor Swift and they interpreted that
as her hating her making a diss track.
Jesus Christ. Oh this.
I heard you call me boring Barbie when the cokes got you
brave and high fived my ex and then you said you're glad he
goes to me. Oh, I mean, that does kind of of
all. The title, also known as
Charlie's Everything, is Romantic.
Actually romantic. Charlie has not publicly
addressed a song, but recently liked an Instagram meme about
Swift fueling further. I mean, you know how?
How are people even seeing this? This is why I hate Instagram
with you. Why are you telling people that
I liked something? I don't want anyone to know any
meme I've liked ever. Stop it.
Why are you doing that? It's so stalkery and weird.
But you know what? I'm happy.
I'm, I'm, I'm happy that pop singers are getting into beef.
It shouldn't just be rap beef. There should be pop girl beef as
well. I, I want Charlie and Taylor
Swift 2 beef. I want them to make diss tracks.
About each other. And I want one of them to stab
the other one, Not deadly, not fatally, but, you know, just a
little playful, just a little playful.
Stab, you know. Let's have some East Coast.
What about this is Charlie XCX is British, right?
Let's have some you know that that is East Coast, but but it's
the East Coast versus the West Coast, which is London and the
UK. Let's have some beef there.
I'm with that. I like that.
That's sick. I really like that.
And then Charlie XCX was on SNLXCXCX, so no Taylor Swift.
And then why this one, this one, this.
We've gone long. What are we at 16?
Wow, yeah, Charlie XCX makes a surprise, dude.
I mean, This is why AI is so. Charlie made a surprise
appearance on Saturday Night Live on October 11th as Sally.
Her appearance, which included wearing a Max's Kansas City
T-shirt, sparked widespread fan speculation that it was a veiled
response to Taylor Swift. How is it?
I mean, some outlet suggested the shirt was a jab at Taylor
Swift because it's a. Kansas, I mean.
People are reaching. Yeah, this is a reach.
This is This is actually. This is actually nothing.
But I want it to be. I wish you would come up be like
fuck Taylor Swift bitch. I and then pull out two guns,
shoot them into the air like I would.
I would like that. That would be that would be
awesome. Anyway, guys, remember to
347-566-9741 call the hotline, do all the different things
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