Turn the TV out, turn the TV up, turn the TV out, turn the TV
off. Mustard maybe acting bad, but
somebody got to do it. Hey guys, welcome back to
anyway. So maybe going to start calling
it touching grass because I really like doing it outside.
But we're inside today. We're inside today.
I got the headphones on because we're going to listen to some
calls real quick, 347-566-9741. That's the hotline call.
Ask for some advice. Tell us a cute little story, you
know, just say hi. I don't know, but make it
something you think I can talk about.
Thank you guys for tuning back in.
I hope you're doing well. I got the, I got the, the sound
mixer board on. So the gain is up high and you
know, it sounds, it sounds good. I'm going to get some new
equipment so I can start recording outside more.
I like recording outside. I do feel like my mind wanders a
bit more, which is good. And it's more, you know, it's
more interesting for me and for you guys.
Someone someone sent me a YouTube.
Oh, that's that's the guy that keeps sending.
Yeah, bro, I'm not going to. Oh, wow.
There's another text message from him.
You're a dusty thief for taking my baby bike.
I can't wait to see you in the neighborhood.
All right. Weird.
Is that his phone number? No, 816 Trespassing.
Weird. Weird.
Dude, I don't know what's going on with your life.
I hope you listened to the last episode.
And we're like, yeah, maybe I should just call in with a
couple good stories or a couple things that were important
enough. But guys, if if you're tuning in
for the first time, my name is Dylan.
This is my solo podcast. And it's a good one, all right?
And you're going to have a good time.
And I'm working on speaking more effectively.
Not saying, you know, all the time, not using, umm, removing
those filler words because everything's got to because, you
know, guys, everything's got to be directly to the point.
We can't, we can't wait for anything anymore.
We got to have it right to the point you have to have the hook
in three seconds. If you don't tell me, if you
tell me a story in real life and you, you don't have a hook in
the first 3 seconds, I'm swiping.
I'm swiping on my friends. I really feel that social media
has ruined us dude. So I can't even hear someone
tell a story anymore if they don't have a hook in the first 3
seconds in captions. I'm like, this is boring dude,
next story swiping on my friends like the my for you page next
story dude, boring. Hold down not interested.
Oh, that would be such a burn to just look at someone and be like
not interested. Chat, get a look, get a load of
this guy. What AL story not interested
next? I would do that.
Just rage baiting your friends. But yeah, it really has.
You know, there's no time to no one.
Let's anything sit and they're all addicted to our phones and
caffeine. Like, dude, I, I had two coffees
today and I then I also put this energy drink just on my table
that I did buy on TikTok shop and I did get, I, I am getting
got on TikTok shop because a lot of the, a lot of the ads are
bad. But some of them they get you,
you know, they, they, they get you discount, discount,
discount, discount. Oh, buy new waterboy discount
discount. You can get this all for $2.00.
Then you go and you look and it's actually not $2.00.
It's like $14.00. But you go, oh, it's still less
than $22.00. And I have a meaning to try this
discount, discount, discount that they, they do that for
everything. Every person on TikTok shop.
You're not going to believe. Oh my God, whoever's, whoever
made this ad should get fired from Lucky Energy because wow
it's so cheap. Whoever did this for Lucky
Energy is going to get fired because you won't believe it.
Guys, it's 16 of them for $0.08 in the in the TikTok shop but
get it while it lasts because it's going away in the next 8
minutes. Everyone's just talking shit on
TikTok and if you don't know about the discount discount
discount you, you're not on. You're not online as as much as
me. Oh man, that shit pisses me off.
This is a good sign actually, though the, the speed and the
ferocity with which I'm talking indicates to me I, I don't need
caffeine right now. OK, so I'm going to do that for
you guys, for me as well, but for you guys, discount,
discount, discount. OK, let's let's take some calls.
9473, Wait, 347-3479 I fucked it up twice. 347-566-9741 Maybe I
do need coffee. Let's let's let's check.
Here we go. Is this, can you, can we hear
this? What's up?
OK, hold on. Is this only coming in on one
headphone or am I am I tripping? Do you guys do you guys, is it
only in one? Is that just me?
OK, I'm kind of ruining this person's.
Oh, maybe because it's on mute? How about now?
And you muted your mic when you sipped into it this episode. 14.
You're in Hyde Park. Thank you.
Thank you man, I've been trying to think of things to call in on
the hotline about. And that's.
Like #1 did you guys stop sipping your coffee in the
fucking headphones? Oh, that's what you're going to
call in about? Not something about you.
Not a story or something interesting.
A a criticism, a critique of my broadcasting skills.
Well, I got news for you, female listener who I'm you know what
I'm very happy to have. You are 100% right.
And I, I, I do think about that and that I have actually thought
about it every single episode. Here's a you know what I'll I'll
let now, I'll let you finish and then I'll go into this.
I just wanted to say I listened to your podcast for years.
I listened to it when I was We were all psychos.
Love it. Shout out to the psychos.
Thanks for muting your fucking
mic dude. That's really I don't want to.
Piss you off, because then you're not.
Going to do it again. Yeah, I don't know.
You're right. I've got other things I want to
talk to you about, but I'm leaving this message.
You're right. Have a good one.
Thanks. I will man.
Thank you, Dylan. Now look, first of all, let's
let's start with the positives, OK?
Because you know there's going to be some negatives.
OK, as I sniff into the microphone, you know there are
going to be some negatives because you critique me.
And even even though that critique in my opinion might be
right, there's going to be some negatives. 43 seconds.
Wow, beautiful. A beautiful 43 second voicemail.
Love that. Not too long, not too short,
absolutely gorgeous. So that's good.
And you're a listener from a long time ago.
Love that as well. And you know, you gave me
something to talk about, so I appreciate that.
Those are all the positives. It was a coherent voicemail.
It wasn't insane. Now here come the negatives.
That's something I think about every single episode because I'm
hyper aware and anxious and I tell myself no one notices.
Now you bring it up affirms all of my biggest fears, you know,
so thanks for that. I'll be thinking about it a lot.
I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm not going to I'm now definitely not going
to sip into the microphone ever again.
I'm going to push it away, push it away like that, take a sip,
come back to the microphone. So that's what I'll do.
And you are right that most of the time when someone tells me
to do something or that tells me they appreciate it because I'm a
contrarian and I'm 88 years old, I immediately go, well, now I'm
going to do the opposite. But lucky for you that in this
one instance is not going to happen because I actually will
be like, hey, great, that's some feedback I can use.
It's good to know people actually think about that.
And maybe I'll stop sipping to the microphone and we'll just
catapult to number 10 on the Spotify podcast potentially.
So thank you for calling. Please call back in again.
I sent her a little text after I thanked her.
It was nice. Thank you for calling it.
Let's go to the next one. But you know, let's not
actually. But I will say, let's not
encourage continuous criticism of the show and the audio
quality because I am a perfectionist and it and I will
think about that. And I think most people probably
don't. They don't care that much or pay
attention that much. I'm actually going to sit right
now. Let me push the microphone away
just for you, caller. Don't know where you're from.
Let's see where your area code's from.
I'll just call you where your area code is from because I'm
not going to say. I mean, it's not that anyone
would be able to find you. Let's see.
Where's this area code from? I haven't seen it before.
Oh, it's New York area code. North American.
North American plumbing numbering plan.
What the fuck? No, no, wait.
It's from Colorado. No, North Carolina.
OK, Why did I read this? Colorado.
Dude, I have dyslexia. I'm I, I, I, I've, I have
decided I have it, OK, You can't take it away from me.
I have it. I have dyslexia and I'm not
going to claim it on stage or just like out in the open, but I
know for me that I have dyslexia, OK, It's minor.
I'm on the dyslexia of the spectrum, but I have it, OK, And
you can't take that away from me.
Not that I want it, but what is it called when you wouldn't even
called? Syndrome, not disease.
What is it? Disorder.
OK, disorder, because I thought about ADD disorder where you
switch words in a sentence because I was talking to this
girl that I'm saying about this. And I was like, oh, you know
what? For the longest time I've had
this thing. Oh, it's aphasia.
Yep, I literally have aphasia. And that's funny because I told
her that I thought I had aphasia because my girlfriend when I was
in college, I was going to say her name.
Oh, OK, Gab, whatever. I don't need to say her name.
It doesn't add to the story. Sometimes it does.
What? She was a speech pathologist and
she talked about having aphasia and I was like, I think I have
aphasia and I've been saying that since I was in college.
So that means it hasn't gotten worse, which means that all the
Molly I did did not fuck my brain.
So I'm OK good. I was, I was feeling, I was
scared about that the entire week because when I told the
girl when I when I was hanging out with her, she's like, Oh,
you sound like you have Molly brain that you know, when you,
when you do too much Molly and then it screws your brain up
and, and you know, the first thought of my head was like, why
would you say that to me? Because you know, I'm, I'm, I'm,
I'm going to be anxious about my brain being fucked up.
And now you're giving me one other thing to think about even
more. But instead I just laughed and
went, maybe that's what I did. I was like, maybe, you know, I
didn't do it that much, but maybe, you know, you're playing
into one of the one of the fears I had because I go, what if I'm
like burning holes in my brain because I heard one person say
that and then I got really freaked out, even though that's
not really how your your brain works.
But don't do that. You know when someone's worried,
when someone tells you that they're worried about anything
going on with their their brain even more than their, I must
said physicality even more than their body.
Just say it's probably fine. Just say that because if you
don't, then they're going to they're going to start spinning.
Let me take a sip real quick and I'll push the mic away.
Here we go. How was that?
Did you hear anything North Carolina, motherfucker?
The aphasia is a is a disorder is where a person switches words
in a sentence and most commonly, and it is I mean I'm I'm
literally doing it right now is most commonly associated with
aphasia language disorder caused by damage to the brain's
language centers, typically on the left side.
I do think I have this individual individuals with
aphasia may experience difficulty finding the right
words. That's that dude that's me.
Fuck I have aphasia. Using the wrong words or
switching sounds and letters within words such as saying wish
dasher, wish wish dasher instead of dishwasher wish dasher.
This type of speech era where the initial sounds of words are
swapped is specifically known as Spoonerism.
Interesting. Named after reverend William
Archibald Spooner. I mean what a sick name though.
Reverend. I mean I guess Reverend isn't
part of his name, he just was. Also, that actually makes me
want to be a priest almost enough so I can get Reverend
Dylan James Palladino baby that hits.
That does hit. And man, am I on the train
today. The extreme of consciousness is
going. Sometimes you guys already know.
Sometimes I go and I'm just like, I don't.
I got to I got to start the train up.
I got to throw the coal into the train and keep going.
But today, ho baby, is it going? I don't need this lucky energy,
but I'm probably going to drink it anyway because I am an
addict. Reverend William Archibald
Spooner. He was known for making such
errors. All that kind of sucks that you
get something named after you because you made the, like a
Dylan ISM. Yeah.
I mean, they're definitely doing.
Hey, guys, write in with what Dylan isms are.
OK? You want to make me feel bad
about myself? Write in about what Dylan isms
are. I probably know all of them
because I'm hyper aware and insecure about them.
But no, write in with them or write in about what your ISM is.
They. The splitterisms occurred
occasionally in normal speech. They're more frequent and
persistent in conditions like aphasia.
Damn dude, I think I have fucking aphasia.
How to let's. OK, let's see.
Can you fix aphasia? Can you fix your jawline by
chewing? Is the first thing that came up
for me. Haven't looked it up, don't know
why that's coming up. Can you fix aphasia?
Excuse me? Aphasia cannot be cured.
Fuck yes. Fuck yes, That's.
That's good. Can be significantly improved
through treatment, particularly speech and language therapy.
OK well, what is it going to do? Recovery is a slow process.
This is probably for people with a stroke.
I don't like. Yeah, What is it going to do?
Restore language abilities, teach compensatory strategies
like using pictures or gestures, and help individuals communicate
effectively. OK, so like yeah, I'm not that
bad that I need that, but I just wish I could like inject stem
cells just just into that area like how do I make my language
centre better? Dude, I have aphasia though, for
sure 100% of aphasia going to I mean dude, I'm going to go into
the longest YouTube poll tonight.
Do I have a photo Just going through it up till 2 AMI haven't
said like a lot though. Is that a doing ISM saying like
OK, so thank you New North Carolina collar.
Let's go to the next one. Another beautiful 48 second
voicemail. Love that.
Hi, I was just wondering, you know, like if you could help me
out with a question. It's been keeping me up at
night. Just like how much wood could a
woodchuck? Chuck if a.
Woodchuck could Chuck Dick because.
OK. All right.
You know, like that's, that's like what a woodchuck could
Chuck. But I'm wondering just like how
much a a woodchuck could Chuck. It's like.
Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like
limitless, just depends on like how many people show up because
I don't know are. You talking about what?
How many people show up? Woodchucks are OK.
I've been staying up all all night think thinking about it
and I'm having a hard time falling asleep so it's going to
help me because I I need to sleep.
It's been like 4 days now and I think I'm losing it.
OK, dude, fuck, I don't you're. I mean, man, only crazy people
listen to this, but at least half of the listeners to this
show are like extremely mentally ill, which is fine, I'm cool
with that. But why did you say a woodchuck
could Chuck Dick? Because it's how much wood could
a woodchuck Chuck? If a woodchuck could Chuck wood,
why are we doing Dick? First of all, what is a
woodchuck? Let's just is it even the thing?
It's a Groundhog. OK, Hey, I didn't know that.
I figured that out right now. I did not know groundhogs or
woodchucks. So we learned something new.
Thank you caller. But what is chucking wood?
Like this is so stupid, but we're going to do it.
What is what is chucking wood? The popular tongue twister.
How much using AI that popular tongue twister?
How much wood would a woodchuck Chuck if a woodchuck could?
Chuck wood is a playful Riddle. Well the answer is that
woodchucks do not actually Chuck wood.
The name Dude AI is so serious and like like unintentionally
funny. The woodchuck is derived from
the Algonquian word woodchuck, meaning digger, and refers to
the animal's name of digging Burrows, not throwing wood.
What's Algonquin? Algonquin.
It's probably some Native
American thing that I'm like, absolutely butchering.
Despite their names, woodchucks do not toss, Chuck or throw
wood. They are herbivore.
Herbivores. Hey, do you say herbivore or
herbivore? I think I say herbivore.
No, I say herbivore that primarily eat leaves, flowers,
grass, clovers, alfalfa. OK, cool, that's it.
The myth that woodchucks Chuck was has been humorously
addressed by researchers. Well holy shit.
Wait. In 1988, Richard Thomas
estimated that if a woodchuck could Chuck wood, it would move
approximately 600 lbs of soil when building its Burrow using
the volume of dirt excavated as a proxy.
This calculation is based on the fact that woodchucks take
extensive Burrows, sometimes over 30 feet long, which they
use a shelter hibernate 30 feet long.
Damn dude, that's nice. That's a good, that's a good
little habitat. While they do not Chuck wood,
they are known to Chuck dirt, which is is essential to.
OK, so on. Hold on then.
Then he didn't in 1988. Richard Thomas didn't actually
estimate it because he's saying they would Chuck soil.
Some online discussion suggests that woodchucks could
theoretically Chuck small pieces of wood with their paws.
This is crazy. The shit that people will like
spend their time talking about. Maybe even this guy said, who I
know, by the way, who I know he called in.
And I'm, I'm, I, I know him also, he changed his voice for
this voicemail, which is crazy to then also send this where
it's like, yo, what are you talking about?
But I, I guess it is kind of limitless.
Yeah, You know, that's enough. That's enough.
I mean, one of them good. This one at this point again,
I'm still, I'm, I'm still, I'm still cool with people just
sending in stuff. It's nice.
Appreciate it. But yeah, get some sleep,
honestly, get some sleep. I know you're joking that like,
oh, I haven't gotten sleep in four days.
I think you're, I think, I think maybe you actually haven't
gotten sleep because you, you thought that you should call in
and send that. It's crazy.
But thanks for calling in 347-566-9741.
Let's keep it up, dude. Let's keep up the voicemails.
Let's see what did I write down? I put a link to Instagram.
Let's see what it is. I'm going to turn this off just
in case it's something that I Oh yeah, I don't know if I really
want it here. Let's see.
OK, I'm not going to show the video on on this because I don't
want to record my screen, but this is someone at Burning Man
who is showing that their orgy Dome tent blew down and so
people can't go in there. A bunch of ugly people can't go
in there and fuck each other, most likely without condoms and
get all sweaty and gross and get venereal diseases.
Wow, that sucks. A bunch of people on drugs can't
go in and just literally suck and fuck anyone that they can
see in there and talk about it. You know, for years to come
about how they went into the orgy Dome and they actually did
it. And then even though while they
were doing it, they were kind of like, this actually isn't as fun
as I thought it would be. You know, a bunch of people
couldn't be at Burning Man and be on acid and other drugs or
just like fully free and, and having crystals on them and
having a good time and they couldn't spot the orgy Dome and
go, holy shit, let's go to the orgy Dome and then walk in there
and then just get hit with a wall of just the most disgusting
smells ever and then say whatever I'm at, I'm at Burning
Man. I told myself I would try new
things and then and go inside and and maybe experiment with
the same sex and then feel really weird about it after
because it's like, why did I do that?
I didn't actually want to at all.
But I'm in the orgy Dome. Oh man.
And then so that's so, so sad. The orgy Dome, what are you
doing dude? I'm like you know it's Dylan ISM
you know like yes go to Burning Man it's fine.
Do the things, take Maui, take acid, take mushrooms or go
sober. Honestly I could see the older I
get the more I see going to these things sober.
Also fine. Enjoy the music, enjoy La Playa,
the sand flats, everything. But I mean the orgy Dome.
What kind of talent are you getting at the orgy Dome you're
getting? No hot person is in the orgy
Dome. I'm sorry.
And if they are, they're, they're already airtight.
They're filled up dude. They've got 6 Dicks around them
just waiting in line. Oh, are you in line for the
orgy? You don't know.
I'm in line for the one hot person that they're orgy dumb.
Actually, yeah, I'm in line just waiting, just playing games in
your phone, just waiting to get a little bit because everyone
else here is just absolutely A5 or less.
Everyone's mid, but there's one hot person and they're you know,
we're lining up to even get, you know, get a chance.
The orgy dumb, you know, I don't have a lot of I don't have a lot
of deal Breakers, but if I was dating someone and they said,
yeah, my favorite place at Burning Man is the orgy dumb,
you know, but it's probably isn't going to work out.
Sorry, no hate to you, but just you know, we're, we're just on
different, we're on different planes, honestly.
No hate, dude, no shaming. Do your thing.
Not for me, you know, not for me.
Unfortunately, the orgy Dome and I don't even hate on Here's the
thing. I don't hate on Burning Man.
I have one friend that goes to Burning Man like a lot.
And here's the thing about people that go to Burning Man.
They are the people that you think would go to Burning Man.
That's what sucks about it. What if you meet someone and
then in your mind you go, I think this person probably goes
to Burning Man consistently. You're right, You're right 100%
of the time. It's my one friend Parker, and
everyone is. Everyone meets him and goes.
That guy goes to Burning Man. He's got rings.
He's got bracelets. I must call them wrist, wrist
necklaces. That's what a bracelet is.
It's a wrist necklace. He's got all of those and he
goes to Burning Man and that's great.
I actually have no hate because you know what's lamer than going
to Burning Man and talking about it all the time hating on
Burning Man Who cares, dude, let people do the thing.
I'm I'm sick of all the online hate and the the the the
negativity. It's all good.
The orgy. Don't know, you know, I might
hate on that. I might, you know, because the
orgy Dome is run by someone who's 48 years old, maybe older.
And it's like, dude, what do you what's up?
And then you write a caption that goes our, our build team
worked so hard this past week to erect our lovely space.
Erect. Fucking end your life.
Unfortunately, the winds yesterday undid all that labor
and wrecked our structure. We are still here and thankfully
safe. We hope to gift to play us some
workshops and we'll update you, keep you updated some workshops.
I mean people want just still fuck, just still fuck in it, you
know, Oh, the tents down. Who gives a shit?
I'm I just I'm still trying to just imagine 14,000 likes.
By the way, it has a well. Also, why does the org you don't
have an Instagram? I I have to I have to sign up an
order to see it. I'm not going to do it.
But yeah, Burning Man happened. There was a lot of wins and who
cares? And people are like, this is
God. And then my dad was talking to
me about how he thinks, you know, Burning Man is demonic.
And I go, you know, I go, you know what, dude?
I actually, I, I actually don't want to talk about this.
I, I actually, we actually don't.
We can we can I would rather talk to you about politics than
you than you tell me about this article you read from RF KS VP
candidate that says that Burning Man is demonic.
I don't care. OK, so we'll we'll delete that
about Burning Man. Let's see what else I saw
weapons don't want to talk about that or do I want to go?
What is this TikTok? What did I what did I put here?
This account is private. God damn it.
I'm sure it was good too. That's why you got to just I I
got to just download the videos. I think.
All right, well, you're you're you're getting one less view.
Whoever, whoever this is that you sent it to me, motherfucker.
I saw weapons and here's what I have to say about weapons.
It was good and you're all overthinking it.
You're you're all you're all trying to do OK, I saw weapons.
It was great. I I had a good time.
It was very funny at the end. Great horror film.
But everyone is just trying to like figure out what it's about
and all the allegories and, and it's just, it's not that deep is
the thing. And I'm sorry, it's not and, and
you want to know why? Because I, because I try, I try
to think about how it would be that deep and it doesn't make
sense. And also I saw literally a video
of the director and the writer explaining what it was about.
And it's, it's, that's very interesting.
Actually. It's, it's about alcoholism, at
least for him. Like the he says, the final
chapter is about alcoholism with what happens to the parents and
that's it. I'm not going to spoil anything
more, but it makes sense. Also, there are he uses the
triangle for Alcoholics Anonymous in the movie multiple
times. Again, not ruining it, but
pretty clear what it's about. And then I go on Reddit and just
people are making it about, not that they're making it about
four dude, you ever like are in a good mood?
And then you go on Reddit to see what people are saying about you
just have you go, I wonder what other people are thinking about
this movie or yeah, like the themes, whatever.
And then you see people writing and you go, Oh my God, people
are so fucking annoying. That's what happened to me.
I went, oh, I want to see if anyone else wrote about it.
And then I just see this long diatribe and then people saying
JFC, instead of Jesus fucking Christ being like, did you read
anything? Because someone else was like,
dude, did someone wrote this long, long paragraph and someone
else goes, did a human right. This was this AI and someone
else was like, JFC, I'm like, did you even read what he said?
Of course a human. So you know, some humans are
capable of complex of of putting together complex sentences and
to shut up. But they're saying all this
stuff about weapons and it's like, and they're all arguing
about what it could mean and, and the allegory and what it's
trying to say with the subtext and everything.
And it's like, yo man, sometimes someone just made a movie and
did some and put a bunch of creepy shit in it and then
that's just what it is. It's not, it's not the the her
face being red, white and blue is not representative of
America. I I think most of the time it
just looks good or or like they color something a certain way
because I think it's freaky. Is this also this also shows how
much people don't understand how movies are made in the sense
that there are like like 10s of people, sometimes hundreds, but
definitely 10s of people that have input and say whether they
think something is good or not. And and the director asks for
like, what do you think about this?
I'm of course they're like out tours.
However, you said that like they want everything to be a specific
way. And I'm sure the guy that who
who made him weapons writer. Let's see, what's his name?
Zachary Michael Craiger. OK.
Tom Yorgensen of IGN gave the film a Nine out of 10 Weapons
fully actualized genre Bender in which director, director.
I mean dude, I just, I don't know what is going on, but
people, and I'm not trying to be a hater bro, people are over
hyping this film. Sorry, they're over hyping it. 9
out of 10. I mean, I'd maybe given it.
Yeah. I mean, I guess I give an 8.
I don't know. Yeah, I guess at that point it's
like subjective. But are they over hyping it?
I don't like, you know, I don't like horror that much.
So I mean, this is me immediately pulling back because
I'm kind of like, yeah, you know what?
They're over hype. I think they're they're over
hyping it a bit. It's good.
It's very 7.8 IMDb. That's exactly what it deserves.
There we go. Perfect.
Freaking Tom Yorgensen. 9 out of 10, bro.
You shut up, Michael. By the way, no hate to Zachary
Michael Craig. Dude, you you crushed.
He's 44. Damn, he looks good for 44.
It's just like, you got to watch the movie to, to, to get exactly
what I'm saying. But everyone's trying to make
everything into something. And I swear to God, I think this
guy, in some of the scenes, he just put some shit in there that
he thought was was creepy or weird.
There's multiple times where you're like, OK, is this
connected or did he just want to put this freaky ass lady in it a
little bit more? And I think it was the second
one more often than not. And oh, then that that's what I
was saying in the beginning. Like, dude, there are so many
people giving their input on set about the color of something,
where it what it would look and, and where they should be.
And then the DP is like, this would look really good this way.
And and what if we added them in behind it would connect to the
whatever scene. It's just people like trying to
get it just patterns. And so sometimes they just throw
patterns in there and it makes the film good and interesting,
but it's not this huge like grad school dissertation level
commentary on gun violence and school shootings and whatever.
Dude, there's a gun in the movie and it makes absolutely zero
sense and it's never addressed. And I really think he just
thought it would look cool that it was in this certain scene in
the movie because it has no connection.
Same with the time of night and that being on the dude.
It's just there. And I, and I guarantee you these
Reddit dorks would argue with me and guess what?
You're wrong. OK, you're wrong.
Go touch grass, you fucking loser.
Oh evil, so evil. But I agree with it because I
said it. But anyway, you should see it.
It's very good. I'm not trying to like, you
know, shit on to say it to not not going to see it.
And he said the script was a personal story.
So, yeah, when you when when the director says what it is,
believe it received critical acclaim, grossing 2020 million
worldwide in a $38 million budget.
Yeah. So this is one of those movies
that I think was good and but also it gets this hype and then
people all hear about the hype and then they go, we talked
about this so many times. And then they go to the movie
and then they they the movie's good.
But then they're like, I have to say it's as good as what the
other people said, because I don't want to seem like I'm not
in agreement with all of that. And also I want to become part
of the hype, blah, blah, blah. So then it creates this churn
of, of everyone just trying to stay with the herd.
And then the IT gets like wild wide critical acclaim, even
though I think it much of it is deserved.
Everyone being like, have you seen weapons?
Have you seen weapons? Have you seen weapons?
And then all the discourse about it online, I don't know.
I think it's a little bit of a little bit of herd mentality,
like at least when it comes to them being like, oh, it's so
deep and has so many meanings. No, it doesn't.
Honestly, the alcoholism 1 is good.
It's very, it's very good. But all these other ones, you're
like, dude, it does the exact same thing that barbarian did,
where at the end you're kind of just like, or actually what long
legs did, where at the end you're kind of just like, all
right, so we're just supposed to believe all this shit just
happened and no one's going to talk about it.
So that's just the the circumstances is that this weird
supernatural shit is just happening and and then no one's
really going to address it or try to like explain where it
came from or literally no one's even going to say, Oh, so I
guess magic is real. I, I actually would, I, I would
actually love for that to happen.
Just one person, just just me, dude.
Put me in the movies, put me in the horror film, came me apart
and then just me just being like, Oh, so I guess magic is
real. Oh, that's weird.
And then and then just walk out. Oh, that's crazy.
So I guess magic is real. I got to go, guys, go start my
shift. See you.
Oh, shit, holy fuck. He got T boned.
Oh my God, he exploded. That's me.
Every movie, every long legs. I mean, that's long going to be,
you know, you see, you see that they're controlling people with
dolls, huh Me just like huh, I guess magic is real, huh?
All right guys, got to go. I'm hungry.
Going to go to Jimmy John's one please.
You know, bust with Ding Dong. Oh shit, no, oh fuck.
The bust is stopping. It's going for the bridge.
Fucked up. Oh, it's going for the bridge.
Oh wow, he died. The last thing he said was, I
guess magic exists, you know that That's what I want, just an
acknowledgement to the audience to be like, yeah, guys, some
weird shit is happening. And we're not just going to,
we're not just going to like, pretend it's normal in order to
make it like creepier, just like it's fine because that would be
me if I'm in an actual movie. That's why I'm saying put me in
the movie because I'm going to, I'm going to react the same way
that I would in real life. Or some shit happens and I go
some shit happens and I'm just like, oh, so magic is real.
Damn. You know, I always kind of
thought, but wow, magic is actually real.
That's crazy. Holy shit.
OK, well, but I guess we better solve the mystery.
Like it's not it doesn't. Like, let's let's go back to the
thing we were talking about. Oh, so that make he, he got
attacked and pulled underground. Oh, well, hold on.
Wait a second. So magic is real.
So this this weird shit, this is magic.
This is something supernatural that we were all told doesn't
exist. There's the shit from the Harry
Potter movies. That's real.
Oh, OK. Yeah, keep going.
I just wanted, I just wanted, I just wanted to, to set that for,
to, to, to see where we're at. You know, it would be, that
would be like if you were on Jurassic, you were on the
Jurassic Park Island and then the dinosaurs came out and then
no one was like, holy shit, dinosaurs are around again.
Oh my God, they made dinosaurs. It would be like if they just
didn't acknowledge that the dinosaurs were there and the
entire movie they were just dealing with the dinosaurs, you
know, just I some kind, I guess in the 7th or 8th movie.
They don't really have to establish that.
But imagine how weird it would be if if shit was going on in
some kind of movie and, and it seemed like there was a dinosaur
and always there, you know, there were footprints and what
it seemed like they were dinosaurs.
And then it was revealed halfway through.
That a dinosaur was doing whatever.
It's like, OK, let's it's, it's all these kids, they disappear
in weapons, right? But instead of I'm not going to
ruin who did it, but it wasn't a dinosaur.
OK, let's say in weapons that halfway through, let's say
halfway through they you it's revealed where the kids are and
it's in a cave and and it's it's with a Tyrannosaurus Rex and AT
Rex is like controlling all of them and protecting them.
And and we'll let you get near if no one said, holy shit,
dinosaurs are real, That's AT Rex.
Where the fuck did that come from?
You'd be livid. You would not be like, oh, I
guess, I guess it's just AT Rex. We're not going to talk about
it. No, You'd go, why is no one
talking about the fact that there's a fucking T Rex in a
cave with all of these kids that somehow hypnotize them?
Am I wrong? Am I wrong in this?
I don't think so. All you have to do is have
someone be like, whoa, dinosaurs exist again and they can
hypnotize children. Like honestly, that one
sentence, I'm in, I am, I'm in, I'm fully I don't need I
actually don't need an explanation.
I don't I go, cool. That's where we're at in this
world. In this scenario, T rex's exist
and not only do they, I, I guess E people and do they not only do
they do all the things dinosaurs do, they also hypnotize children
and make them leave their house at 2:17 AM And guess what?
I go, Yep, I'm good with that. That's all you need.
That's it. And they could have done it so
easily in the movie, some kind of flashback, some kind of
acknowledgement, whatever it is. Nope, didn't do it.
And you know what? Maybe that's Craig or being
like, fuck you guys. I'm just I, I I don't want to
have that scene. I didn't want to do that, but
but him not doing that, I go, OK, well, he definitely isn't
thinking like super third, fourth level in terms of what
this could really be about. You know what I'm saying?
And this was funny. I seem serious.
I'm going to pop this lucky in No, do I not want to fuck
because I'm kind of I do need I do need water, though.
Fucking whatever. We have like 12 minutes left.
Woodchucks. What else did I What else
happened this week? What did I write down?
Let's see. Saw weapons.
Yep. Cock was almost out.
OK, yeah, I was at a you know, I don't really send Dick pics, but
the only people I send it. You know what's funny?
The only people I send Dick pics to are my friends as a joke and
it's always in a weird position. It's so strange.
It's like it almost feels less gay to send a Dick pic to your
boy hidden as something else than it does it just take a
photo of you naked in the mirror and send it to a girl.
Like what do you think about that?
Huh? What do you think about that
little worm? It's it's unproportional to my
body, isn't it? But you're still going to tell
me you want it? Because it would be.
It would be mean if you didn't. Someone just ring the doorbell.
No, it really is. What?
Maybe that's just me. I don't know.
I grew up when when I grew up in the time when waiting came out
that that movie waiting where white guy.
I mean guys, white guys, Persian as well were like, OK, let's
find let's find interesting strange ways to show each other
our penises at at 14. And it's not gay, by the way.
It's not gay because it actually really isn't because it was just
gross in just a weird way. Just grossing your friend out by
showing him your cock. Some people would say
homoerotic. I don't see it that way, but
because no one was like you got me dude.
Let me see. Let me see more of it.
You got me, dude. Just leave it out for a second.
I want to look. Wow, it's so gross.
Oh, man. God, I hate that I'm seeing
that. You want to play Halo tonight?
Oh God, I hate that I'm seeing that.
Turn the lights off. Turn the lights off and let's
just feel around for a little bit.
Oh my God, I'm so oh, I came in, I I tripped and I fell.
That's crazy. You want to measure it right
now? Measure it with my face.
That's not happening. But yeah, dude, I, I, I, I just
had a photo of being like, you know what?
I'm not going to lie, A girl asked me to take 1 and I took it
and it was on my phone and I forgot to delete it.
And then I opened up my photos app and then it was just out in
the middle of a cafe. And it was really weird.
I don't know why I wrote that down.
I just thought it was kind of funny.
But just a word to the wise guys, delete your Dick pics as
soon as you take them. It's what I'm saying.
And that's at the end of the podcast.
So I only know the true ones are hearing that so that they get to
hear that juice. But I mean, is there is nothing
scarier than mistakenly opening it, opening a nude in public.
Nothing scarier than mistakenly opening a nude in public.
Damn, bro. Because you're, because for some
reason it always just feels like everyone's eyes happen to be
looking at your phone at that moment, you know?
And I just happened to delete a photo and then the next one was
just my piece. And I'm not going to lie, it
wasn't looking bad, but I don't just want it just at dudes.
Because taking a picture of taking a Dick pic is
embarrassing, bro. Taking a naked photo of yourself
as a guy, So cringe, dude. So embarrassing as a woman,
fantastic. You know, art.
That's literal art, bro. That's great as a guy, gross.
And I am saying this is a straight guy.
I guess gay guys would be like I disagree.
It's actually the opposite. But I think universally people
can appreciate female body as just being beautiful naked.
And then guy body. Maybe if you're the David and
you're you're cut and you and you, you, you have to, you know,
the sling over your your shoulder.
I don't know, but I'm Harry's shit and it was gross and I was
like, God damn it, what am I doing?
And I almost dude, I almost just delete him.
Bro. You just got to.
I almost wish iPhone was like, hey, we noticed this is this is
a Dick pic. Can you would you like this to
be put in your hidden folder immediately so you don't
potentially open up your phone or try to show something to your
sister-in-law and then let your Dick is the second photo and
then you quickly have to turn it away and you're like, OK, good.
She didn't see, but there was a small part of you that was like,
if I did fuck up and she ever saw that, I'd never be able to
look at her the same. Yeah, it would be nice if it
said that we are almost done here and you guys can tell that
I'm this this fuck. I know I say this on a lot of
the episodes, but I enjoyed I enjoyed this one.
I really did. Not sure how much is clippable,
but you know, I'm I'm not doing I'm no longer clip farming.
I'm not doing the show to get clips, bro.
I mean I'll do them, but let's see.
I want to talk about I talked about shit that happened to me,
right, because I do like, you know, I like doing the you know,
the guys feeling corner. Hey, this is a man having
emotions, but you know, nothing was really nothing really
happened this week. It was a nice, normal week.
We can end with Snoop Dogg. This, this, some current events.
I guess Snoop Dogg's in trouble because he didn't like that
there was a gay couple in Buzz Lightyear.
That's, I mean, who is surprised, number one?
Who's surprised by that? Number 2?
Get over it, Snoop Dogg. Let's see.
Snoop Dogg, Buzz Lightyear gay Snoop Dogg on LGBTQ.
OK, yeah. So here's what?
Here's what Yeah, Snoop Dogg said he's scared to take his
grandkids. Snoop Dogg said he is scared to
take his grandchildren to the movies because in Lightyear,
there was an openly gay character.
That's what he said, he's scared to take his grandchildren to the
movies after watching Pixar's Light Year, a 2022 animated film
with two openly gay characters. What?
Why would you even for? OK dude, Snoop Dogg's like 98 so
why are we surprised it's also a black dude?
No offense but historically more homophobic all I'm going to say.
So why are you surprised? I'm not surprised.
I didn't think Snoop Dogg would be chill with that.
Let's see, this was in 2022. So why is this, like, coming
out? Yeah, this is literally written
four days ago. Why?
Why is this being written? I'd rather this, though, than,
like, reading shit about Trump or Gaza.
So honestly, yeah, bring me more of this slop.
Let's see. On a recent episode of It's
Giving, said his grandson asked him while watching the movie how
Alicia was able to have a child with another woman.
And he said, oh, shit, I didn't come in for this shit.
I just came to watch the goddamn movie.
It fucked me up. I'm like scared to go to the
Movies Now. Y'all throwing me in the middle
of this shit that I don't have to.
I don't have an answer for. These are kids.
We have to show that at this age they're going to ask questions.
I don't have the answer. You don't have the answer bro.
You're 115 you should have the answer.
You know what the answer is. They adopted the kid even if
it's not true. Easy answer.
Bam, kids can understand adoption.
Or you just go, women can have kids too.
They adopt them or sometimes a a doctor figures it out.
But you know, if you're so worried about your 10 year old
not understanding how IVF and having a sperm donor and all
that shit works, which by the way, I get it, you know, it's
fine. Just say she adopted the kid.
Was she pregnant in it? OK, maybe that's, I mean, maybe
she remember she raises a child with her wife and they share a
brief kiss. I don't know, bro, how are you
this dumb? Honestly?
I mean, this Snoop Dogg also like did a concert for Trump, so
the dude's kind of lost it. But how are you this dumb?
It's not hard, bro, for you to be like, these are kids, dog.
It's so easy. Also, these are kids now.
They have the Internet, they have YouTube, they're seeing
everything, OK. They, it's not going to be hard
for them to understand this. It was banned in Saudi Arabia,
Kuwait, Malaysia, and the United Arab Emirates.
Of course it was good for them for not cutting it out.
Not to be like progressive or annoying like that, but also
like dude, who gives a shit. And I know people be like, yo,
it's different when you have a kid.
No, it's not dude. Stop being a pussy and just
explain it. It's not that hard.
I, I didn't come in for this shit.
I don't know what to say. Hey, it takes 3 seconds.
You hear that and you go, oh, how do I explain this to a kid?
And you go, they adopted the kid women, two women can advocate as
well. It's completely natural.
You're going to see it in this world.
You don't have to go into a whole diatribe about it.
Pretty fucking dumb ass, bro. I mean, just like what?
That's crazy. I just came to watch the guy.
I hate when people go. I just came to watch the movie.
It's not, it's not putting in your face.
It's literally reflecting life. Do you know what I mean?
Like they always go. I just came to have a good just
play basketball. I didn't want to.
I don't want to. I don't want to hear about
protests or what's going on. I'm just watching the movie.
I don't want it to be a whole thing about being gay.
Hey dude, it's not. It's literally just having two
women having a kid, which, by the way, is normal in today's
day and age, right? Not hard to do.
We have to show that at this age.
They're going to ask questions. I don't have the answer.
You should if you're AI mean. How old is he actually 218?
I'm opening this. Whatever dude, fuck, I really
shouldn't be drinking this. He's born in 71.
Like he's only 50. He's only 5453.
Oh shit he turns. Oh shit, it's his birthday.
Oh shit. Happy birthday Snoop Dogg.
Hey man up. Update your thoughts on on on
being gay. But besides that, happy birthday
dude. Happy birthday August 31st,
Snoop Dogg. Calvin Cortisar Brodius Junior.
It's OK for two women to have a kid.
And it's really not that hard to explain it.
All you have to say is that they adopted the kid.
Or if you're really going to go into it, you can talk about IVF,
but you have the answers. Grow up, dude.
You're 54, you know, but happy birthday, Snoop Dogg.
Happy Happy birthday. Calvin Cortisar Broadus Junior.
How was that? North Carolina?
Could you hear the, the sound of me drinking this?
I, I, no, I did not need to open this.
Why did I do that? Why fuck all right, that was
good. That was an hour or like maybe
50 minutes. I've been going longer because
just like you know why the why the fuck not I like doing it You
guys are great Remember to call the hotline, 347-566-9741 leave
your messages shout out to all the people I know that listen to
the podcast because more people than I than I thought do listen
to it. You know who you are love you.
I also love the people I don't know that listen because you
guys are crazy and you're great and let's keep let's keep the
show growing like subscribe, leave a review, all that good
stuff on Spotify and Apple podcast as well.
Do that. Go actually go right now to
Spotify and leave a review. It'll help.
All right, guys, talk to you next week.
Leave a voicemail. Love you.
Bye.