Summer loving happens so fast, and let's open up that recess.
This episode of Anyway, so unofficially sponsored by Recess
Mood. I got 1 and sometimes I like
drinking them and they make me feel a little bit less anxious,
so that's nice. I'm going to push the mic away
because people don't like it when I drink into the mic.
Hold on, fantastic. And you know, in true ADHD
fashion, we have 3 drinks on the table.
We got lucky energy drink, we got recess mood.
And then we have a concoction of just, you know, random other
shit in my blender bottle because, you know, I got to have
three. I can't I can't just have one.
I got to have you got to mix it all up.
I got to have a speedball of lucky energy and then magnesium
and adaptogens, which I don't really know if it does anything,
but that's, that's how it's going to be.
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome back to another episode of ANYWAY.
So my name is Dylan Palladino. This is my podcast.
Let's Get into Some calls. 347. What is it, 347 or 3479?
Yeah. How do I forget my phone number?
347-566-9741, That's the hotline.
Call it if you need some advice, if you want to say hi, but you
know, make it, make it so that I can talk about what you're
saying. We got one caller that loves to
just tell us that he used to tour with Afroman.
Excuse me? I think he I think he left a
message about it and we'll see if we'll see if it's worth
listening to. Let's see.
He actually he sent us a because he there's also a text.
I can I also text you guys back. Let's see, he's the 618 number.
So let's see, he left one. OK, He only left a 38 second
voicemail. That's nice.
That's pretty good because someone else left.
Fuck this guy left a 5 minute and 26 second voicemail.
All right, we're going to we're going to listen to that, but we
might have to cut it because I, I, I don't I don't that's that's
very long. That's very long.
How you guys doing? It's Sunday, it's 4:00 PM.
I'm recording a little bit late, later than usual, but that's OK.
Went to a party last night. Maybe we'll get into that after
we take some voicemails. I went to a coffee shop, dude.
I went to a coffee shop right before this because at this
point my first cup of coffee is just preventing me from jumping
off a bridge. The second cup is the one that
actually gets me going through the day.
The first one is like a shot of adrenaline just so I can, it's
like smelling salt so I can wake up.
But then the second one is like, OK, now I can start my day and
do stuff. It's just, it's, it's wake up
and have water. I don't think.
So I'm waking up and I'm having a double shot of espresso.
That's what I'm doing, but here here's here's what I wanted to
suggest. Does this does this piss anyone
else off? Call in 3-4 seven dude, what's
happening? 347-566-9741 I went to a coffee
shop and I got a coffee and then I go to see if there's anywhere
I can sit down and there's nowhere to sit and that piss me
the fuck off because I go, why did I just buy a coffee here?
I wanted to sit. I wanted to.
I'm paying to enjoy. I'm paying to enjoy where I'm
at. I'm paying to enjoy the space.
You know, I mean, sometimes you just want the coffee, but other
times you want to enjoy the ambiance of where you are.
And I think coffee shops should have a vacancy, No vacancy sign,
just so that I can know when I walk in.
Hey, there's no vacancy. So I'm going to either decide to
get the coffee just for the coffee sake, or I'm going to go
somewhere else where I can enjoy the ambience.
I can enjoy the feel of being in a coffee shop.
I can enjoy the background music of the jazz.
I can watch someone write a screenplay that is definitely
not good and no one's going to read.
Or maybe it's great because sometimes I might write a
screenplay in a coffee shop and my shit's great, but I'm off in
the night. I can, I can, I, I can't.
Someone, you guys hear that vacuum?
It's annoying. I can eavesdrop on people's
conversations. That's that's all part of life
and living and being in a coffee shop.
And when there's no vacancy, I kind of feel like I got blue
balled a little bit. Because if that's the case, I'm
going to go to bodega and I'm going to get a $2.00 coffee, not
a $4.75 coffee because then all I'm doing is getting my fix.
I don't need everything else. I just want to pay $252.50 for
the guy to call me Boss and smile at me and then give me the
coffee and, you know, be really surprised that I don't want
sugar in it, even though it's like, no dude, just milk.
I'm good. You sure you don't want sugar,
boss? No, no, no, just OK because he
knows his coffee tastes like shit.
So he's like, how are you? You're going to drink this
without whatever? I have another sip.
Let's see someone called. We have like 4 voicemails that
are legit 3 seconds. So maybe we'll start with one of
those just to show the insanity of people and North Carolina
from last week. I'm I'm not sipping into the
microphone just for you, so you better appreciate that.
All right, someone left a voicemail.
Start digging in your butt. Twin right start.
Digging in your butt, twin. Yep, OK, that's good.
Thank you for that. And someone else from this is
this is from a 715, so let's find out where they are 715 area
code Jersey. Oh, it's New York.
Where is where is 7? Where is 715 area code?
Look, man, I got to stop using this non Google because I, I got
like really weird about Google because I listen to one podcast
episode where someone was talking about how they're
tracking everything. And so then I started using it a
a browser that's not Google, not Google Chrome.
And then it uses a search engine that like doesn't track you.
But I'm not I'm sorry that it just sucks, though.
That's the problem. Google tracks you and they know
everything you do, but also it's a really good product.
These other ones that don't track you, they suck ass. 715
area code watch. I'm going to Google Now I'm
going to type it in. It's going to be perfect.
Yep, it immediately, I mean it's AI overview, but immediately it
tells me, oh, it's from Wisconsin.
Serves most of the northern part of Wisconsin, including cities
like Euclair, Wausau and Superior Central time zone.
I would think he was my friend Reza but no, he has a LA area
code so that's one start digging in your butt twin.
And then someone else 20 minutes later does this start.
Aggressively digging in your butt twin.
Yeah, so that sounds like I don't know someone who's 13
years old. And you know what?
And they have the same area code.
They're probably friends. Hey, all good, dude.
You're you're enjoying your life.
It's OK, you got to Oh, and then we got a third one from another.
OK, these are all from Wisconsin.
I guess I have fans in Wisconsin, but you know you're
enjoying that. Let's see there we go.
So. Basically, do you have any like
fucking ball itching cream? My ball is like bad.
OK, I don't. Know what to do man please help
except I don't know what to do man.
My ball is. You know, OK, so I knew this was
going to happen, obviously with the voicemail, but I'm going to
take it. You know, dude, you have jock
itch and you got to, you got to get, what is it, Lotrimin?
What is it for? For jock itch cream.
Yeah, dude, you got to get some cream.
Your balls are your, your your balls are rich.
And it's because you got jock itch.
And then, you know, that's gross.
Maybe we starting the podcast off talking about the cloture
mole. Clotrim, mazole, clotrimazole.
Clotrimazole. It's a Lotriman.
Yeah, yeah, Lotriman. Dude, you got to get some
Lotriman. That's why your balls edge.
I don't know what happened with these three people from
Wisconsin that all got together and we're like, let's just leave
weird voicemails. But hey, I appreciate it.
Thanks for calling in. I'm going to personally text
each of you and go, hey, I featured you on the show.
You sound like crazy people. No one's going to top last week
with the woodchuck guy, but I've still enjoy this, still enjoy
it. Let's see someone left one.
So from 5, you know, literally like 10 minutes ago, OK, just
OK, just nothing. It's 917 though.
So they're, they're they're from New York.
OK, let's do, let's, let's actually do one.
I put up a bunch of I put a bunch of posters around New York
City. I'm doing some guerrilla
marketing and we got a call. Let's listen to it.
Yes, I just saw that that if you did something cringe poster and
yeah, I was I I fucked up pretty bad.
I was I so I bike a lot. I'm new to NYU and I was at the
library and. I first of all, good for you for
biking, man. Keep it up, OK?
You're changing. You're changing the world, You.
Know I I got my bike. I'm wearing these Birkenstocks
shoes, and I try to get, you know, jump up onto the bike to,
you know, start pedaling. Your first mistake and.
Right, right in the middle of the street, right outside the
library. There was like at least 50
people there standing, watching do this.
Oh dude. Right in the middle of the
street. Oh, and then it flips over.
Oh, and I'm fucking struggling. Dude.
To get it back flipped over again, I I can't, can't do it.
I'm like fumbling in the street in my bike and I literally like
it got to a point I couldn't get my fucking shoe on that I had a
display on my bike in the street and like.
OK, I can't hear what you're saying.
Fuck, dude, you got to the best part of the episode or the best
part of the voicemail, and I don't know what you're saying.
It got to the point where I couldn't get my phone.
Take up my shoe and take all my stuff.
Like that's how long I was struggling with this.
Yeah, so a bunch of people saw me trying to do that and I
looked like a dipshit on my PS face.
Damn, dude, yeah, that's pretty embarrassing, I'm not going to
lie. Your, your, your shoe fell off
and then went to the middle of the street and you're at NYU and
you know, you're trying to save the world, you're trying to
bike, you're trying to have 0 carbon emissions, but then
you're wearing Birkenstocks. So you're, you're don't, you
can't be riding bike bikes with open toed shoes, man.
Because you know what, number one, you're going to maybe
scratch your big toe or scratch your, something's going to
happen to one of your toes. And that sucks, but #2 your,
your shoe might fall off. We, you got to, you got to wear
the proper attire for, you know, you got to dress for the job yet
you, well, I guess you're supposed to dress for the job
you, you, you want, not the job you have.
But you should dress for the job you you have, which is being an
NYU student and biking around. And you can't be wearing
Birkenstocks, dude. You just like it fell off and
then it went face down in in the street and then everyone's
looking at you like what, dude, what is up with?
And here's the thing. I know you wanted me to tell you
like don't worry, man, No one noticed and no one was looking
at everyone saw. Everyone saw, everyone saw.
And I mean they're not talking about a long term, but they're
definitely were like, damn, that's embarrassing.
Oh shit, look at that guy trying to get his Birkenstock off
Birkenstock back on. And then a couple girls were
probably like, why is he wearing Birkenstocks when he's like
riding a bike? Oh, like he's probably crunchy.
He definitely doesn't shave his pubes.
You know, like they're like they're thinking, they're
thinking stuff like that. They're they're they're
extrapolating from the fact that you're wearing Birkenstocks on
your bike. And look, I get it.
Sometimes you don't want to throw the closed toes on some
sometimes you want to have the O TS.
You don't want to have the C TS. You want, you want your, you
want your, your, your, your dogs to get some air.
But on the bike, dude, it's just it's it does not follow OSHA.
And he he that sucks, man. And for people listening, if you
if you didn't go to NYU where he's talking about the library
boast, it is on 4th St. And there's just he said 50
people. There's at least 200 people, at
least 2 to 500 people walk by. And we're like, yo, look at that
guy with a that's bad. But hey, man, we all do cringe
shit. It happens to us every week.
If a part of the show is celebrating, Hey, we did
something cringe this week, that's all good, OK, it's fine.
Celebrate it. It's what makes us human.
It's all good. I did some cringe shit.
When I went to that coffee shop, they had these pastries and I
asked her about one of the pastries, and it's originally
from Portugal. It's called a pastiche donata,
But I could have just called it an egg.
I could have just called it an egg custard, you know?
But I said pastiche donata. And then she goes, what is that?
And then I had to explain what it is.
And she's like, oh, and I go are are they those or are they
different ones? She's like, oh, I don't know.
And then I did the thing where I was just like, oh, I started
explaining to her what Pashte sanata are and like where they
are in Portugal and how I got them when I went to Portugal.
Why am I explaining any of that? Just say, OK, but because I felt
so uncomfortable, I was like, Oh well, you know, actually the the
postation, not that it's made with just just the egg yolk and
and a bunch of nuns in Portugal made it and I got them when I
was in Portugal. I got them in Portugal and man,
I got to say they're much better, better in Portugal than
they are in your shitty coffee shop.
I'm sure yours are fine, but you know, I'm doing that.
Those cringe as fuck, but it's just it's what happens.
You get caught doing something, you get uncomfortable and then
you go oh shit, OK, I I talked for way too long.
Let's just let's let's keep moving.
OK, let's go to the let's let's go to the next one.
Don't don't wear Birkenstocks anymore when you bike, but but
keep biking. That's good prior to you for
that. Let's see this guy here it is.
I think I know this one might be serious.
If this is serious. Hey, Dylan, it's Nevin, short of
voicemail for you this time. OK, here we go.
I wonder. I have a statement to make and I
want to know if you agree and then if you do or don't do just
your thought on it. Why is it still in the year 2025
that a lot of great men still think it's funny to call
something gay derogatorily? I'll admit it, we do it.
It still kind of hits in our humor like zeitgeist.
But do you agree? And why do you think that is?
OK, that's good, dude. That was a good one.
See, I like that. I like that a lot.
Also, I finished a screenplay. We we should do dinner and we
can talk about it. Here's the thing, man, gay went
away and it came back. And I think it's OK that it came
back because it's kind of been accepted in the culture as not
something that you call an actual gay guy, like, like
unless you're unless he's doing something homosexual, but you
would never say it derogatorily to a someone who's part of the
alphabet mafia. You know, you would never do
that. If someone did that, you would
go, what, what are you doing, bro?
What the fuck is wrong with you? You know, and that's kind of
where it's at now. I do think it can be overused
very quickly. But unfortunately there are
certain things that happen that just gay works kind of perfectly
for describing it. You can say lame, you can say
whack. I try to do that because I try
not to overuse it. But there are certain, you know,
that it can be overused. But there are certain instances
where my teenage brain comes out and I'm like, yeah, gay is the
perfect adjective for this. And I'm not perfect, dude.
And that's fine. I'm I'm, I'm a comedian.
That's like, that's what I do. I like I like doing things that
are maybe not right to do all the time and calling something
gay every now and then is one of them.
But I would never use it to describe an actual gay guy
unless I was saying like that's that's honestly, I don't even
think I would say like that's gay.
What are you doing? I'd be like, that's like
legitimately homosexual. You know, I don't know.
I don't know why it's great men Still.
It's, it's, it's the problem is, you know, you can tell what kind
of guy someone is by how they use the term gay.
You know, like if they use it for something that is so clearly
dumb and it's just a joke and it's, it's almost like he's
making fun of the fact that he's calling something gay, then then
it's fine. But but you know, if you, if
you, I'm trying to think if you like hold it, if you like hold.
I mean, that's kind of funny. I was going to say if you hold
the door open for someone and you're like, all right, dude,
don't be so gay about it. It's kind, it's kind of funny
because it's a misdirect, because it doesn't make any
sense. That's why I think it's still
funny and can be used. But if it has any inkling of
like, I think being gay is wrong, that's yeah, that's
pretty. It's pretty bad.
It's, it's a, it's a language thing, dude.
That I, I, you could tell me if I'm wrong.
I feel like culture has come back around to where we think
it's fine because you can tell if someone is being actually
homophobic, homophobic when they say it, right?
Maybe you're not going to you're not going to agree with
everything I say. So OK, let's see what else?
Here we go. Oh, this is that fucking crazy
guy. Yeah, either Dylan, I think I
called you the other day. I got into the alcoholic eggnog
and had a few too many Husker doughs there.
And I called and I think I left you a voicemail with some quite
pertinent information that the Canadian government made me sign
papers not to release for about 10 years until the statute of
limitations expires. So if you come across that
voicemail, just said don't play it on the podcast.
Just your card it for me please bud.
Alright, thanks. See you later.
Can I just get 1 normal person that was into the show?
I swear to God, I mean, that was not a real voice and not a real
person, but let's see. Yeah.
I mean, yeah. OK, whatever.
This is the this is the 618 guy. Who is who's this guy 618?
What area code is that? We're just going to start
looking up area codes just to just to because you know, we got
we got 3 Wisconsin's, we got One North Carolina.
And this is Carbondale. Where is this?
Illinois? Southern port of portion of
Illinois. All right, we got Illinois boy.
We got the Illinois boy leaving me just the weirdest voicemails
ever. And OK, one, one more.
Here we go. Let's listen to this one.
Hey Don, I'm curious about your opinion of the date application
of Snapchat. Lately a lot of random guys just
add anyone who suggested to them and they just kind of play the
numbers game shooting their shot and it's become like an idiot.
Literally. They won't know who you are, but
they just randomly add you find out what you look like.
And sometimes you'll be local, sometimes you'll be out of the
country or state. But lately it's been happening
and some of my friends, even myself, like you'll start to
meet people and there's like I did not even go out seeking
anyone or I deleted Tinder or. Whatever.
And they just like start talking to you.
So like, what do you think about that?
Is that something you've done? Do people do that to you?
I just think it's a little invasive, but it's kind of odd
when it works out. Wow, I didn't know Snapchat's a
dating app now. I thought Snapchat was for
selling drugs and sending nudes. That's the only and and and even
then, I think it's basically for nudes.
You're you're you're, you're you're, you're just.
Can you imagine adding someone based on just their bitmoji?
Something where everyone looks like weird as what?
Where everyone looks like a cartoon.
Dude, you might as well like Jack off the Family Guy porn.
What do you like? Dude?
What? What is wrong with you?
What? No, I've never had that happen.
I think it's weird. Yeah, I think that's weird.
I mean, look, if a guy is, if a guy is adding you off of
Snapchat and trying to to talk because of that, he's not the
one dude. He's not even like that dude is
do not talk to him. He's adding people.
He's either like he either has 500 bodies or three and the and
if he has three, they're dead, you know, and if he has 500,
some of them are probably dead as well.
But like no, no, no, no, that I I can't believe you talked to
them. I got added by someone on
Snapchat the other day. That was like, it was like top
notch mouth a it was like a plus mouth.
It was, it was so weird. I I just adding someone do also
my my Snapchat emoji is ugly. Dude, I'm like bald and I've got
I look, I look bad and you're still yeah, I don't I don't I
think that's like so I I guess I mean it's weird.
Dating is so weird now because people don't want to go out and
actually meet someone because it's so much easier to do
everything online. And so much of just like normal
discourse is via our phones or social media.
So you can kind of really get to know someone without meeting
them in public. But doesn't feel, yeah, you, you
if a guy is adding you on Snapchat, he's like a serial
killer or just an absolute pussy.
And like the he's he's gross. Like, I mean, has it worked out
for you? I want you to like, has anyone,
has anyone met someone through Snapchat and it worked out?
I need to know if that's true Call in and say it that's
happened 347-566-9741. Have you has Snapchat dating
worked out for you? I didn't know it was a dating
app kind of the numbers game. Yeah, this whole like shooting
your shot thing. If you can tell a guy is is just
like playing the numbers game thing is not a good sign.
You know, like I'm doing a lot of Dylanism state that, you
know, this episode, but maybe the recess is chilling me out
too much. I'm I'm relaxed, so relaxed.
Thank you for calling in. By the way, I don't think you
should be going on dates with people from Snapchat.
Maybe it worked out. Call back five O 2.
Where are you 5O5O2 area code. Let's see.
I just I just I I hate this search engine from brave.
Where is the five O 2 area code, though?
Please tell me, man. Oh, Louisville on Lexington, KY.
Oh, cool. All right, that's great.
You know, it feels, well, actually it's from a lot of a
lot of places, not just there. So you could be from any of
these counties. I'm just going to say
Louisville. You know, sometimes it feels
weird for me to like, say where the area code is from.
And then I realized it did none of it is identifying information
at all. And I'm just being an anxious
little wreck. We have one more, but it's 5
minutes. I'm going to save it for the
next episode. But guys, we had a bunch of
calls and you know, and half of them were absolute nonsense
bullshit. And one of them was good, was
about Snapchat. That one was good.
I mean, the Canadian guy 1, I don't, I don't know what he was
talking about. I know here's the thing, guys,
don't try to be funny. It's just it's not going to
work. You know, it's going to look,
one of you is going to be is going to be maybe funny one of
you, but but but hundreds of you are going to try and it's just
going to be weird. And then I'm going to stop
featuring any voicemail. I'm going to have to start
screening the voicemails and the text I get.
And that's lame, right? Start aggressively digging in
your butt twin. What is that from Start digging
in your butt twin? I think I'm going to start
calling people twin. It's kind of fun.
What does Start digging in your butt twin come from?
Wait, what? Originated from an edit of a
scene in SpongeBob SquarePants. Welcome to the Chum Bucket.
In the clip, a robot with SpongeBob brain tells Wait, no
way. Wait, what?
How do I find this? OK, wait, actually now now I
want to see the video. Where's the video?
All right, let's go to YouTube. We'll find it.
We're we're we're learning. Where did you guys were learning
about the Internet today? Let's see.
Start digging in yo. And not in yo.
And you're about twin SpongeBob. Here we go.
Let's find it. OK, here we go.
And I want you to make me a crabby Patty.
Start digging in your butts when?
Oh, OK. Oh dude, that's so funny.
It's OK, So someone obviously just edited it.
I thought that he, I mean, actually, why did I even for a
second think that that was actually said on SpongeBob?
God, I'm an idiot. What weenies what?
OK, yeah, this is a bunch of different.
Yeah, no, I mean, it's not from but, but.
OK, OK, hold on. Let's see what Reddit says.
Someone goes. From what I can find, it
literally just means to pick up your butt with your fingers.
Yeah, no shit, dude. Some people think it means
you're being a hard ass. I could see that.
It's just a command for subject to begin fingering their own
ass. What the fuck?
According to Urban Dictionary, it means to reinforce your
confidence and to lock in. There's no way, Absolutely no
way. I'm sorry.
Hit the microphone. Absolutely no way.
It's a reference to the digging in your butt meme that was
popularized in late June, July 20.
Oh, that happened recently of this year after an edit.
Oh, wow. It literally just came from
probably shit that like isn't it crazy that some someone just
made that online as a joke and then everyone is is just
everyone is now just saying start digging in your butt twin.
Like actually as a start digging in your butt twin.
Yeah, so those are the voicemails.
And what a time to be alive to get just absolute insanity
voicemails. What was that right then how was
how was how was my week? How was your week?
How was your how's everyone feeling?
This feels? Dude, we're feeling like Sunday,
right? This is a nice little Sunday,
Sunday pod. We're chilling.
This one's chill last week. It's like I'm opening the lucky
energy. By the way, last week I was
screaming the discount, discount, discount thing.
That was a lot for, for when I listened back to it, I went, oh
shit, OK, I was screaming. But we're doing well.
We're doing well. I went to a party last night and
man, I used to like party like I'm still I'm I I still like
going to parties, but after about an is anyone Does this
happen to anyone else? After about an hour of an hour,
maybe an hour and a half of being at a party and talking to
people, I like go non verbal and I go find a corner where no one
is and I just like chill there for 15 minutes.
I just have to like recharge talking to everyone.
Does that happen to anyone else? I can take my headphones out for
a little bit like I'll just, I'll just, I'll just be at the
party and then I'll be talking to everyone.
It'll be going well. And then 90 minutes in I'll go,
well, time to go non verbal and I'll just, I'll just like have
to like leave and go just be in my own.
I just was, I was just eating tacos in the corner of this on
the corner of the of someone's roof.
And that girl came up to me and she said, what are you doing
over here? I was like, you know how I'd be
just digging in my butt like I was just like, I'm just
chilling. She's like, OK, she's like, you
know, the party is back. I go.
I know. I'm just also let just let me
be, just let me chill. I'm chilling, I'm recharging.
OK, I'll bring the energy. So I got to take a second and go
into the corner and overthink a couple of conversations I had
and then also just eat and recharge.
Is that crazy? I just I need, I just needed, I
need, I needed a second. I was also drinking.
I like smoked cigarettes, like never really smoked cigarettes,
but I had to. And I was like, dude, I'm like,
this is disgusting. But that's what's good about
honestly. That's what's good about
cigarettes being gross. And everyone agreeing that
they're bad is that it makes it that when you have them, it's
like fun, like like, you know, it's bad.
So you only want to have a couple.
If it's something that you do all the time, then it's gross,
dude. But every now and then it's like
having junk food. You're like, I'm going to have a
little treat. I'm going to have a little, I'm
going to, I'm going to have a little smoke treat, little
cancer treat, just enough, just enough to take the edge off.
And, you know, and just just add to the existentialism of like,
yeah, you know what? Fuck.
And I'll just have this, it's just nice to have a cig
sometimes, dude. And I know not everyone's going
to agree with that and that's fine.
But every now and it's a good way to get out of conversation.
It's honestly, I just use it to get out of conversations.
I'm going to start bringing them to to parties and just be like,
I'm going to have a cigarette. I'll be right back and then just
go outside and throw it on the ground and just just just be
like, that's what it is. That, that dude, That's what I'm
doing when I go to when I go into the corner and and have my
tacos and just eat alone. When I just when I just have a
like a a little micro like introvert moment because I'm
extroverted. But it's like, you got to have a
couple moments to just chill. And that's what I'm doing when I
do that. And used to be able to do that
with cigarettes. And, you know, you go, I might
not go have a cigarette. And you get away from everyone.
And then maybe you're with one other person and you guys talk.
And, you know, you talk shit about someone at the party
because that's always nice. You meet someone at the party
and then you bond talking shit about someone else who's like
being kind of a clown. And look, I know it's not the
right thing to do. And I know you're not supposed
to talk shit about people. And I know the quote from
Eleanor Roosevelt and we already know that I'm on Eleanor
Roosevelt's side now because she was pretty cool and she had some
good quotes. What is it?
Small people talk about other people, Medium people.
I don't even know the quote. Medium people talk about current
events and big people talk about ideas, something like that.
You already know what it is. Sometimes you want to be small
and you want to just talk shit about.
It's more just like, hey, is it just me or is this guy like kind
of a douchebag? And then when someone else goes,
no, no, no, it's not just you. You go, OK, this is good.
This is a good reminder that I'm that I'm not just completely off
the rails, right? And that's what's going, that's
what's going out of the Segas. And it's you're having your
little non verbal moment. And you know, I had a couple of
them that was nice. I talked with some girl about my
Oh my God, dude. I was talking to this girl and I
think she was flirting with me. I mean, we were talking for so
long on this balcony for like 45 minutes and she like showed me a
video, a YouTube video, which like there's some shit I would
do with a girl where I'm like, let me show you a YouTube video
that I think is funny. Like that's like how I flirt as
a guy is just becoming an 8 year old boy.
And I'm like, look at this guy. I I think this guy's really
funny. Watch this South Park clip.
And it's just, it's just, it's them removing a nuke from
Hillary Clinton's post. Like like she did that to me
with a with a comedy set, but it was actually funny.
I liked it, but dude, we were having a good time.
I didn't, I wasn't really like I'm at the point right now where
I'm not, I'm not really like actively trying to date other
people. Like it just is not the it's not
the move right now for me. But so we were talking it was
fine and we talked about her long ass relationship.
She broke her back. I mean, I hope she doesn't
listen to this, but if she does, like I don't give a fuck.
She she wouldn't care either because I think she was thinking
think it's funny. She's a she's a good sense of
humor. We talked about my ex talked
about her. It was the whole thing.
Also, no, I don't want to talk about that.
And then we find out that we do both do online stuff like
content creation and shit. And then she asks me like oh
what's your IG? So then I show her my IG and
look, things are going great. I don't think we're going to
hook up or anything, but there's a small part of me that's like,
you know, if we keep flirting, maybe a couple little kiss at
the end of the night could be nice.
What's better than going to a party, meeting a random
stranger, hitting it off and then a nice little make out and
then you guys go home separately again?
That's that's Nirvana, dude. That's great.
A little a little couple, some some heavy petting, some some
grabbing. Dude, maybe a little bit of ask
me to get one boob in there. Yeah, that's whoo.
That's keeps me through the week.
Want to go back to her place and then, you know, see her kitchen
and look in her fridge. Oh, show you OK, I guess You
really like Trevani. Oh, you, you.
Hey, you've got a lot of seltzers in here.
You live alone. OK, Look, look at the living
room. And you're like, OK, I get like,
just either you like, you have good taste or also this is kind
of boring, you know? I I don't.
Yeah, I don't want to. And then you sit down and then
you have to do the thing where you talk for another 45 minutes,
and then finally you start making out.
And then you look at the clock and you're like, it's 12:30 and
you're like, fucking kill me. OK, all right, I'm not going to
get home till 3:00 AM probably to just like a make out and then
like a make. Maybe.
I mean, this makes you sound like such a Dick or whatever you
make out and like, I don't know, maybe you guys do something a
little bit more. But then again, you're tired and
you're like, oh, we shouldn't I should go.
You know, all of that is avoided by just calling Uber 3 minute
make out outside by and then maybe you don't even see each
other again. Then it's like, it's like I'm
it's great bro fantastic. It's just whimsy.
It's just whimsy and there's no no feelings or hurt whatever.
I thought maybe that would happen.
Show I show her my my IG. Now, here's the thing.
First of all, she opens up one of the videos and starts
watching it. Huge red flag.
I don't why would you do that to me?
That's the most humiliating thing ever.
I don't want to see my content. I don't want to watch you watch
me. I want to watch you watch some
video that I made that's like stupid and online and I do front
facing videos and she goes like, Oh, so you're just a you're just
a little mentally ill boy. And I was like, what?
Why would you say that to what the fuck?
That's dude, that's crazy. Is that not such a isn't that
such a weird like. And I think, honestly think that
she thinks it's flirting. I think dude, girls are so bad
at flirting. It's insane how bad at flirting
they are. The girl called me autistic to
my face and like thought it was cute and thought I was going to
be like, yeah, you're right. I'm.
They're divergent. I'm on the spectrum.
Loud noises make me stem. Like why?
I didn't say anything. I just had this face of like,
yeah. And in my head I was like, oh, I
hate you. OK, That was weird.
That was why did you, why did you do that?
Why did you call me? Why did you call me mental ill?
Why? Why did you, why did you make me
go through all of this? Couldn't you have just hit me
with the follow and that's it? But instead, you know, she does
cooking content. What am I going to go onto her
thing and pick up a video and go, oh, that looks disgusting.
Oh, so you're just a cook who couldn't make it.
I'm kidding, I'm teasing, I'm teasing.
Watch this YouTube video of an anime that I like.
I'm teasing. I'm just flirting with you.
Come on, I'm breaking the ice. That's some come on, you called
me autistic. Like it just it was it was we it
was weird and I'm not going to like I'm not actually going to
hold it against her because again, I did the whole
peshtation, not that thing today.
And we all get weird and sometimes we say shit that it's
but but in the moment I go like, Hey, don't watch my stuff.
Also, don't call me mentally ill to my face, right?
I mean, don't call me mentally ill to my face.
You know, God, I'm saying, you know a lot.
Don't call me mentally ill to my face.
Say it behind my back, talk shit about me like a normal person.
There was a there was a guy doing caricatures that was kind
of cool. I honestly thought they could
have been a little bit better and not going to lie.
But hey, good for the guy. He's making money, you know,
good for him. I'm not going to.
But you know, when someone does it and then you're like excited,
You're expecting a certain level of expertise.
And then and then he they hand it to and you're like, oh, yeah,
yeah. Well, it's good.
Like, you know, you do the thing where, I mean, it's fine.
It wasn't great. The guy said he got booked four
times a day. I'm like, seriously, No, I'm
being so mean. He was very sweet.
Maybe his hand was tired, maybe, you know, but I like, you know,
I wanted to, I wanted more in depth a little.
I didn't think I could do better, but I was like, I could
get close to that. He didn't even he didn't even
make I wanted to make me look ugly.
If you're going to do a caricature, I would make make me
look ugly and make me look bad. Don't just or like have me like
like like riding a Unicorn or some shit.
Don't just like have these Literally just do a photo of me,
my glasses a little bit bigger and my hat's on.
I don't know. Those are the things.
See, this is what happened to me.
Dude. When I'm at these part like I'm
I'm I'm like having all these social interactions and then I'm
just analyzing them after and I number one, I can't help it.
I like that. I think it makes it's more fun
for me because I'm always just like, oh, what's going on?
What is it? What is human interaction like?
And then you guys come to me and you send in voicemail and you're
like, hey, is this weird? How should I act?
Should I be talking to guys on Snapchat?
And the answer is obviously no, you shouldn't be talking to guys
on Snapchat. All first of all, the guys on
Snapchat, dude, if you're over 25 and you're on Snapchat, what
are you doing? Now this is coming from a guy
that I do have it, but it's for one specific person and they
told me to to download it. And guess what?
I downloaded for nudes from just that one person.
So like, you're a guy over 25 and you have Snapchat and you're
just trolling on Snapchat to try and find a girl.
Hey, what's up? How you doing?
What are you up to today? Can I see your outfit?
Wow, pretty. I'd love to take you out for a
drink. Oh, shit, you're 60.
You're 6 states away from me. My bad.
But let's talk for another five months and then, you know,
maybe, maybe I'll come out there.
What dude, if you're, if you're over 25 and you're on Snapchat,
Weird. I mean, I feel weird being on
it. I still think it's gross and I'm
on it and I'm on it. But a guy, if a guy just
randomly hits you up and tries to connect with you on Snap, Nah
dude. Snapchat is for teenagers and
people in the Middle East. For some reason people in like
Saudi Arabia love Snapchat. That's different, I guess, but
trying to add someone from me weird bro, just weird.
I'm am I am I freaking delete my now I'm talking about it makes
me feel like a pedo bro. You know you can feel like a
creep. All right, recess is done recess
is done back to work. So you guys already know my did
I tell you that my dad is obsessed with with weapons?
Well, if I didn't, my dad is obsessed with weapons.
He's seen it like 3 times. He loves it so and we already
know how I feel about weapons and I talked about it all last
week and I thought it was pretty good.
My my take on it. The movie's also good, but I
think it was pretty funny. My dad tells my uncle to go see
Weapons. This is the voicemail my uncle
left my dad after seeing Weapons.
It's hilarious. What the fuck is wrong with you?
What the hell did we just see? I, I, I am still, how can you
say it was a thriller? That was a fucking horror and it
was a fucking shitty horror. It was insane, insane.
It was hysterical of the end. You're you're, you're fucking,
you're, you're messed up. You're really lost.
I'm kind of concerned for you. Call me back one day and just
let me know you're all right. But you're a fucking asshole.
OK, the most uncle voicemail ever and I love that he's like
OK but call me back though. I need to make sure you're OK.
That's what my uncle thinks when my dad told him to go see
weapons. He's like, oh, you're, you're
severely disturbed. You need help.
Please call me back. I think I, I think I might never
hear from you again. And guess what?
I fully agree with my uncle. I feel for him.
Like, dude, he's expressing the feeling that I had when I
finished watching Weapons and knew that it was my dad's
favorite movie. I'm like, yo, is my dad OK?
His favorite movie? Does he want to become a witch?
Dude, does my dad want to get into witchcraft?
Honestly, it would be kind of tight.
I'd rather him be into witchcraft than be mega to be
honest. So maybe he can get into that.
Amazing. I mean amazing what I love to
do. My uncle is just like an
absolute insane person and I'm I'm actually happy he didn't say
anything else because usually in voicemails he being sensing says
things that not the worst thing to say.
You guys all know what I'm talking about, but he he usually
just says things and I'm like OK, well now no one can hear
this because makes him sound a little old fashioned and we
don't want to have that out there.
But I would love to hear you guys's opinions on weapons
23475669741. I want to know what you guys
thought about it because I obviously had opinions and you
know one of you guys are going to call back and be like, start
digging in your butt. Twin shout out to one of my boys
that listens to the podcast. We talked recently.
Just wanted to say it's good seeing you dude.
I ran into, I ran into one of my friends.
He listens to the show. It's so funny when guys run into
each other that we just start talking about directions.
I ran into him and then we just like started talking about where
his job was and then we both did the dad thing where we crossed
our arms and then he just told me about how he gets to his job.
And then he told me about an alternate route that if there's
traffic, that's how he also gets to his job.
So no matter what, it only takes 20 minutes.
And when I tell you I was locked in to the directions that I will
never use, but I just, you just get dad brain and you're like,
oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You know, yeah, yeah. Sometimes the Expressway is
pretty bad. So if you if you actually just
go on the service road right next to it and you follow it and
then you turn on Kingsland and then you go around.
See, that's that's where the that's where the bottleneck
usually is because most people know about that.
They get off of Nexus 33 and they go on the service road and
they follow it. But what you got to do is you
got to go around, you go by the Sunoco.
You actually drive through the Sunoco.
Most of the time they don't give you issue and then go through a
couple residential streets and you can you can divert and avoid
all of that. Still get to work. 18 minutes.
Fantastic. Yeah.
No, Wow.
Oh, good for you. That's great.
And then that, then that's guess what?
That was our whole conversation. And then I got back in the car
and I drove back to work. And it was, I mean it, it was
like what I checked in on his life, but all I, but all I
actually learned was the two different routes that he got to
work. Guys never actually ask each
other how we're doing. We just talk about random shit
and we subtextually know if someone if they're doing OK or
not. I don't know how to, I honestly
don't know how to explain it. It's kind of like a, it's kind
of like a weird emotional intelligence superpower where
you're just like, if we're talking about sports, it's like
you just tell how the guy is by how he's talking about the other
topic that you're discussing. He's talking about sports and
he's getting really angry. You're like, OK, something's
going on at home with him. Something's going on with his
wife. I mean, that's why my uncle said
that because he, you know, he's like, he saw the movie and goes,
what is good with with my brother that he loves this
movie. He's he's, he's severely
disturbed. And guess what?
He's not wrong. But we just talked about
directions. It's great.
I, I sometimes I just love being a simple stupid guy.
Just talking about directions. It's, it's so much better than
like, hey man, what's up with you?
How are you feeling? What, how are your emotions?
And look, I'm very supportive of that, but there's a time and a
place, and on a corner in Astoria at 3:00 PM is not the
time or the place. So let's talk about directions
and then keep it pushing. Just keep it pushing.
Let's see. Silly boy.
Message from my dad. Yeah, yeah.
We can talk about Will Smith rapping next week.
Don't care about that. Why did I just write girl fuck.
What? Oh, maybe that was Yeah.
Oh, that was the that was the party thing.
OK, let's talk about Zoron benching real quick.
Did you guys see this? There's Here we go.
Hey, get. I am not.
I'm not going to screen record. I'm not going to screen record
this for the YouTube. You guys can look it up.
Look, eventually I'll start screen recording and I'll put it
on the YouTube. But right now, hey here, here's
how you can get me to do that. Share the episode, like and
subscribe, get other people to start watching.
And then I'll spend the extra time to to screen record and put
it on there. And I know you're going to be
like doing you just should what blah, blah, blah.
I don't want to. All right, fuck.
You can look it up. You don't need to.
Maybe I will just scream recording.
How do I even fucking scream recording?
I forget. I don't.
I honestly don't remember how How do you scream recording?
Oh no, scream recording. All right, fuck it, I'll do it.
Here we go. So Zoran Mamdani tried to bench
and Mamdani couldn't bench 135 and Eric Adams was clowning him
for it. And it's like, here's the video.
OK, first of all, I'm going to before we even go.
No one thinks Mamdani's going to be able to bench this.
He, Mamdani, doesn't work out. You can look at him and
immediately you go, he doesn't bench.
And guess what? Who cares actually, if this is
your biggest problem with him, go take a hike dude, grow the
fuck up. What are you?
Who are you, 16? This is why 16 year olds can't
vote because he's going to be like oh I can bench more than
him what the fuck up? OK I mean this is this.
This is rough though. This is a really bad situation
for him. He's surrounded by a bunch of
buff black dudes and their hype for him and they want him to do
well. And he's, I mean, he's also in
suit pants and a like dress shirt.
This is how you move up in the polls.
Hey man, the guy's hyping him way too much.
And I'm telling you right now, this is not how you move up in
the polls. He doesn't know what he's doing.
Dude, look at him. He doesn't even know where to
grab the fuck. This is so embarrassing.
I do. I feel for him.
Whoever let him do this, you fucked up, dude.
Why would you let Zoran bench? What are you doing?
Whoever did this is a is a is a Cuomo plant for sure.
He's there's a dude. Hey, Mandani, there's a rat in
your race that there's there's there's there's a rat in your
team and you need to get him out Godfather style 2 to the head.
Pang pang, pang pang 2 to the head.
Dude, drop a couple 40 fives in their on their on their spine
like this. Did you got you got a rat in
your campaign. Then you got a It's time to call
the exterminator dude, let's go. Let's.
Go, let's go. Let's go.
Yeah, dude. Yeah, he let.
Me get three let me get. Three.
Let me get three, bro. He knows.
He knows and beat you as soon as he did it.
He said he was nervous. Yeah.
No, you don't know here. I mean, he's still got charisma,
bro, and he's still, he still brings it back.
But like, first of all, no one told him how to do no one told
him the correct form. No one.
You said it like don't you don't do this because then you have
some clown like Eric Adams being like meanwhile, like I'm I'm I'm
repping 145 easy, you know? And it's like, dude, you took
money from the Turkish government.
OK, I'd rather my mayor not be able to bench and not take money
from the Turkish government so you can get some economy plus
seats. Not even what are you doing the
semi secret services out here. We got 1 secret services out
here. I mean it's for anyone just
listening like OK, I screen recorded so you watch the
YouTube. You can watch that.
It's just mum Donnie and he goes and he tries the he tries the
bench and then like he, his arms go like as wide as possible and
then he has a horrible form and he can't get it up without the
guy helping him. Sorry, North Carolina.
I was just drinking into the mic.
But it like, I'm sorry. If you care whether your mayor
can bench 135 lbs, you're an idiot.
I'm sorry, dude. Honestly, there are more
important things than that. You're you know what, you're not
even an idiot. You're being tricked.
You're being tricked by the Internet to think that it's
something that's important when it isn't at all.
It doesn't matter at all. Mayors are supposed to be nerds,
bro. They're supposed to just be good
at running the city. Putting up two plates is not
part of that. Like, who gives a fuck?
For real? I don't care.
Yeah, it was cool. Obama could play basketball, but
like, we don't even be cool. Do you know what happens when
you when you try to have like a cool mayor?
You get Eric Adams and he Bros talking about how with the
shorties that he had in in Queens.
And look, that kind of worked on me.
I was like, yo, this dude had shorties in Queens.
And then I went, wait, wait, hold on a second.
This is not some guy that I'm talking to him in the bodega.
This is the guy who's responsible for plowing all the
cities when we go through a snowstorm.
Maybe I maybe I shouldn't want him to be talking about the
shouties that he used to have in Queens.
Maybe I maybe I shouldn't want that.
Mister Adams. Let's see what people said.
Most people don't work out. But loli mean, Yeah, here we go
here. Great.
I'm not a fan of his policies, but his inability to bench a
small amount doesn't make me think any differently.
But sheesh, any man between 18 and 70 should be able to bench
135. That is, that is true.
You, I mean, you should be able to I think as a you want to
bring a toxic mask or whatever, I think you should be able to to
bench 135 a couple times. But you also, if this dude has
never benched, he doesn't know the form.
There's like a proper way to to do it.
And if you don't know how to do it, it's going to look sloppy
and it's not going to work out. And he was flat back.
He didn't. Who cares?
Man, was this episode extremely hilarious.
Fuck no, but but it was fun. It was fun going through
voicemails. I'm going to I'm going to put up
more posters. You guys were are going to call
back in. Now you have things to call in
about. Can you tell me what you think
about mom Donnie? You can tell me what you think
about weapons. We can hear about Snapchat.
Let's hear actually, you know what before we end are people
using Snapchat? Snapchat is a dating app.
Let's see. Snapchat is evolved from the
platform. I mean, here, here we go. 13 to
24, age range 13 to 24 make up to 57% of Snapchat's user base.
Yeah. I mean, it's an app for
teenagers. Many use it as a dating app, but
it's for teens. Yeah, I did not.
It's it's not, it's still, I mean, if, if a guy told me that
he used snap, that he met some girl on snap immediately, I'd be
like, OK, well, I'm going to get away from you because the police
are probably going to break down your door soon and then find
something on the hard drives that you keep like locked in a
safe. You know what I mean?
Anyway, guys, please call in. Please share the show.
Let's grow it. That that that's what I want
from you. Here's the thing, All right, If
you call in and you hear me talk about it, you're you talk about
your voicemail, tell your friends, have them listen to and
then maybe and then they can send them voicemails and the
show will just grow and we'll give more advice.
It'll be absolutely fantastic. But also call in with questions,
not just hey, this thing happened to me because I like
that, but advice is always fun. So it's more to more to discuss
even, you know, even the even the thing that Nevin left about
saying gay, you know, I honestly thought I would have more to say
about that, but I really just think it's like it.
I just think you can tell so easily when a guy is saying it
out of malice and a guy is just saying it where he's trying to
be a little bit of like an instigator, you know.
But I still don't use it like half as much as I did in high
school because, you know, you can just say lame or whack.
But there's certain instances when it does just gay just does
hit harder. And in those scenarios you want
to say I'm wrong and I just be like, yo, I'm not.
I'll just be like, hey, start digging in your butt, twin.