1 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,720 Dwayne, we're back here. We are. 2 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:16,560 So you got 15 years in, 15 years of not marriage, 15 years of 3 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:21,760 what recovery? And you know, like I was telling 4 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,960 you off air, we get a lot of people that talk about us using 5 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,440 the word recovered addict and they don't like the past tense 6 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,000 have recovered, you know, and and so my question to them is, 7 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:40,760 why can't you be like, like, why? 8 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,520 Like, why can't things be past tense? 9 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,600 Or even more important? And you know about this, if we 10 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,800 just live in the present moment, then there is no addiction. 11 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,000 That's very powerful, yes. What do I need outside of the 12 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,040 present moment? There's. 13 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:58,000 Absolutely, absolutely nothing. And in the present moment, we're 14 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,120 in communion with God. Yes. 15 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:05,440 So guess what happens there when we are God and we are all God, 16 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:09,840 then in that very moment we have we're we're perfect. 17 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,360 We're just yeah, so, you know, for me, and so I kind of wanted 18 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,000 to break it down because people are like, oh, that's woo woo 19 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,840 bullshit. You know, so I kind of want to 20 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,520 do it more in like phases and how that happens to get 21 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,080 recovered. If we want to say, I think you 22 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,640 know, like foundational those first year and you know this 23 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,280 because you, you assist in help people on a weekly basis the 24 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,520 first year, you know, like that's where you're trying to 25 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:38,920 break the addiction cycle. And the problem that we have is 26 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,360 stabilizing biology. And so we got to stabilize 27 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,040 because your body's all fucked up. 28 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:48,080 But then you also have to build initial tools, if that makes 29 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,880 sense. What, what do you like? 30 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,400 I want you to kind of go, if you don't mind, like pretend you're 31 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,440 sitting across from somebody in there, you know, three months in 32 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,960 four months in five months and they got to try to get to the 33 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,840 year. What are some of those initial 34 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,640 tools that you share? Man, this is just such a 35 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:09,280 fantastic Ave. to head down. We have an array of tools at our 36 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,600 disposal. Really what we got to start 37 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,560 discussing initially is the willingness to try something 38 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:20,120 different and we're really is to try and behave counterintuitive 39 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,920 to our condition behavior that I liked what you said initially 40 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:29,040 just about the body needing to stabilize Fool is just 41 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,880 understanding. I'm for the past however many 42 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:33,880 years I've been partaking in my addiction. 43 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,760 I'm in complete fight or flight all the time. 44 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,960 Yes, I'm in the sympathetic nervous system. 45 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,680 I'm prepared for battle. My hormones are dumping 46 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,040 cortisol. I'm existing at a level of 47 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,640 stress that just most people you know would be burnt to a crisp 48 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,880 and we think that is normal. We think that's a normal feeling 49 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,960 to go through the world with anxiety, to go through the world 50 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,560 irritable, to go to world and and pissed off we're not getting 51 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,920 our way seeking control. That's a very normal existence 52 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,640 for an addict or alcoholic, anyone suffering from a serious 53 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,160 addiction. So it's a good tool to just 54 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:14,720 start to see my, my, my, my biology is all out of whack. 55 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,960 This is I, I, it's very funny, you know, you start getting 56 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,560 these little slivers, these little intimations of a feeling 57 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:24,000 that, that this is so weird. What's going on here? 58 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,720 I'm not not feeling aggressive right now. 59 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,160 What's happening to me? I've got three weeks. 60 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,720 Oh man, I got a month. What's it's like that's called 61 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,480 inner peace. You don't know what the fuck 62 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,840 that feels like. So we just initially a great 63 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,640 tool is just beginning to observe our emotions. 64 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,680 There's a gauntlet. There are countless tools that 65 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,880 are available to us. We have to be honest. 66 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,320 We have to get serious about trying to be the best version of 67 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,840 ourselves. Another important piece of our 68 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,840 understanding in regards to the reason we call ourselves 69 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,040 Recovered Addict podcast is, you know, at the beginning of 70 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:58,760 Genesis, God ordered the world out of chaos. 71 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:03,520 So when we start to bring in order and structure into our 72 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,200 lives. I heard something the other day, 73 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,480 bro. Just I've been, I've been 74 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,200 hitting it left and right as much as I can. 75 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:12,240 Routine doesn't just help me survive the chaos. 76 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:18,040 Routine helps me shape it. I started shaping my own world 77 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:23,280 with and order and discipline. Alcoholics are very 78 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,840 undisciplined. Addicts are very undisciplined. 79 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,560 We do the fuck we want whenever the fuck we want, and it's pure 80 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,640 chaos and we're fly by the seat of our pants. 81 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,040 So we start bringing in a lot of order. 82 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,720 We start bringing in a lot of structure. 83 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:41,880 In that respect, I become my own creator, start my own reality. 84 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,000 And on the flip, on the on the mastery portion of that, which 85 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,480 we'll get to here shortly, That's where we start to 86 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,680 articulate. I have recovered that chaos. 87 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:55,840 I've recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body broke. 88 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,600 We've been doing this so long, every single cell in our body 89 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,920 regenerates at least once every seven years now, even our bones. 90 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,040 Now every single cell in my body has regenerated at rated at 91 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,400 least twice since. I've been free from addiction, 92 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,960 free from alcohol, free from drugs, and I have recovered. 93 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,440 My body is completely new. I'm not the same person anymore. 94 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,800 Yeah. And I don't think people realize 95 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,120 that. But biologically I want to, I 96 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,960 want because we're going to go in each step, you know, and kind 97 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,400 of what happens almost kind of reverse engineer, especially 98 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,160 with you from your 15 years to now biological what we're 99 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,800 talking about. I think it's really important to 100 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,960 commit to total abstinence. Absolutely. 101 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,520 Yeah. The other the other there's I 102 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,160 can't teach you how to do like a little bit of weed or I can't 103 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,240 teach you how to like let's let's micro dose of mushrooms, 104 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,200 but not to go to the bar after, you know. 105 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,480 Yes, yeah, I think this requires that. 106 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,560 Absolute abstinence is the only stance that I know how to teach 107 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,280 other people because the only stance that ever works for me. 108 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,840 Yeah, and I think for, for alcohol, it's really, really 109 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:01,720 important that if you're an alcoholic, you have to think 110 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,160 there's no, I'll just drink a couple beers here. 111 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,560 You know, it doesn't work. And #2 is, and we believe this 112 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,760 wholeheartedly, is a nutrient dense diet. 113 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,760 Buy it. If you want to biologically 114 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,440 recover, you've got to get vitamin D. 115 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,760 You've got to get Omega threes and tons of protein. 116 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,400 You've been living on carbs as an addict. 117 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,920 Sugar and carbs, your friend. Yep, it's also, but it's. 118 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,760 A bad at friend. And I don't know why my tin goes 119 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:30,200 from here to here, but I but I do like my sith of vodka at 120 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,840 night. Yes, yeah. 121 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,840 So Omega threes, proteins, magnesium, vitamin D, just do 122 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:38,360 those nutrient dense diet full of protein and then 30 minutes a 123 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,920 day of exercise, whether it's walking, whether it's lifting 124 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,320 weights. Yeah, that's the biological 125 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,280 part. The countless, countless 126 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,440 benefits, the weight training, the strength training, the 127 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,880 cardio, the whatever. I did something hard. 128 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,000 It's like in yourself. It's like a diamond. 129 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,640 It's like a diamond was created through a lot of pressure and a 130 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,920 lot you got to you got to put yourself through that pressure 131 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,080 in order to emerge into something new. 132 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,640 But not only the biology, some of the the biochemistry behind 133 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,560 it. I start popping endorphins. 134 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:10,480 I start feeling good about the person I am about the hard thing 135 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:14,000 I just accomplished. I didn't have to take I didn't 136 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,120 have to take a substance in order to feel something good in 137 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,240 order to yes, yes, powerful. It's so it's very motivating. 138 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,800 This is what I I created a whole business around this because 139 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,600 it's so it's so productive, it's so powerful and the and we did. 140 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,600 2 episodes on this. Yes absolutely. 141 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,000 So go back and watch those episodes. 142 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,280 The nutrient dense is huge. Average male needs to be 143 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:34,880 consuming 250 grams of protein a day. 144 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,880 Yeah, that's you would be shocked how much. 145 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:43,000 So how the heck do you eat 250 grams of protein a day and try 146 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,280 and maintain a calorie balance or small deficit? 147 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,520 The answer is I eat a shit load of protein and not a lot else. 148 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,280 Yeah, exactly. And that will that will 149 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:58,000 automatically start to stabilize your biologically just that 150 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,880 alone internally you begin to stabilize. 151 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,120 I want to get into the psychological aspect of it. 152 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,960 We're going to stay mindful based because I have a spiritual 153 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,920 side, but the mindful base is just being mindful, 154 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:13,680 understanding what relapse is, being mindful of that and then, 155 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,240 you know, adopting prevention cycles. 156 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,880 And then one thing that you did, and I think it's and we've 157 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,080 talked about this a lot is journal daily to reframe the 158 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,000 triggers and adopt. I'm going to use a word that a 159 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,640 lot of people don't know about a high agency identity. 160 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,800 High agency is like, like you have talked about, like I'm this 161 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,880 man and I want to be this man, you know, our woman. 162 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,240 But I, this is what the best of me looks like. 163 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,760 I'm high agency. Yes, a higher self or the best 164 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,440 version on here. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. 165 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:49,400 The introspection is so, so beautiful. 166 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,880 If I have a it's very helpful to let these emotions that are 167 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:57,200 kicking my ass live someplace other than inside my body. 168 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,920 So I'm giving myself a chance to kind of detox from these very, 169 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:06,480 very stressful, anxiety ridden emotions, fearful emotions, 170 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,440 angry emotions that I'm very used to. 171 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,960 I'm giving them somewhere else to live and that other place to 172 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,720 live is on is on paper. Yes. 173 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,080 This isn't a keyboard deal, this isn't a text to type in your 174 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,680 phone deal, although those things can be beneficial. 175 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,920 For me, it was, it was pen meets paper. 176 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,360 Something very spiritual happens when pen meets paper. 177 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,920 And then I get to start to look at myself accurately too. 178 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:33,920 Now I have an honest appraisal, but I I'm actually going through 179 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,760 so it's not. So it's not like trying to 180 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,080 navigate muddy water. You know, I kind of get a clear 181 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,880 picture of these are the issues. And then what happened for me, 182 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,600 Jay, I know we'll jump into the spiritual, but what happened for 183 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,640 me was I saw I was writing. I saw I was taught right. 184 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,920 The issue immediately bringing the appropriate power, something 185 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,720 like God, I need your help or God shine your light on this. 186 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,280 I didn't know it then, but I was writing my prayers. 187 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,880 And what ended up happening over time was I started building a 188 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,840 relationship with a God that I could do business with. 189 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,400 Yes, yes, through writing. It was like God my pen, yes. 190 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,120 Yeah, 100% and it's so funny. Right here at my desk. 191 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:18,240 Here is my my journal and then here is my handbook of praying 192 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,000 scripture. That's awesome, So. 193 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,120 Just what you said a journal 5/10/15 minutes a day, 20 194 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,240 minutes, however long it takes while I'm drinking my coffee. 195 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:30,040 And then I always want to take the word and have it in my life 196 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,880 in some way. It always touches me, you know, 197 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,000 and so for me, you know, it's it's Jesus's teachings. 198 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,880 You know, I love our the Psalms, you know, our proverbs or 199 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,040 something like that. Those are what I go into and 200 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,560 that leads us into spiritual define a how a higher power, our 201 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:47,680 purpose in in in a one cent statement like a tweet for you. 202 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,760 What is what is higher power or purpose look like for you? 203 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,720 Is it being of service? Is it being is it is it having 204 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,840 truth? Like I'm going to live truth? 205 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,840 I'm I fucking live for a decade. I lived, you know, false 206 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,600 bullshit. So whatever, but come up with 207 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:07,280 that one sentence statement. And then I also, I think, and 208 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,480 I'll let I also think what we're just talking about is daily 209 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,200 meditation or prayer. And and here's the cool part. 210 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,720 Prayer is meditation. It's just active. 211 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,320 You know, whether you're doing affirmations. 212 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,480 You don't have to sit there and an addict trying to meditate and 213 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,800 be an addict, that doesn't work. You're not going to be able to 214 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,920 sit there and be still, but you can walk around and pray. 215 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,200 Yeah, absolutely didn't work for me. 216 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,480 The sit across like there is a good approach, a lot of people 217 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,280 can do it, but that didn't that approaching work for me. 218 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,520 The meditation I found work best for me, as you know, is cycling 219 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,200 on the bike. I put yes, put prayer or 220 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,200 meditation in my headphones, in my ears. 221 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,640 And then I put on beautiful scenery on the teller that I 222 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,680 happen in my den, like whatever scenic relaxation videos and 223 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:55,200 it's beautiful nature images all around the globe and the natural 224 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,080 wonders, blah blah. And then then I cycle and then 225 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,800 as I'm listening to my prayer to my mantra, I, I, I have my 226 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,520 mantra. I have the parents have the 227 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,640 meditation. Just like you said, praying is 228 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,760 meditating. Meditating is praying for me. 229 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,600 They really bleed together like I'm doing both at the same time 230 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,200 and did some of the mantras that work well for me. 231 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,960 Are that purpose are that meaning that you discuss, find 232 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,880 it, find a higher power that you can do business with. 233 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,960 And then a purpose. What's your purpose? 234 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,720 What your, what you, what are you passionate about? 235 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,840 What you're calling? What do you call to do is to 236 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,720 light you up on the inside. There needs to be a resonation 237 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,760 needs to resonate inside of you. If it puts a shit eating grin on 238 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,360 your face, that's a good sign. That's like, oh, I'm heading in 239 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,600 the right direction here. One of the ones that works very 240 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,800 well for me is I expand an infinite love, abundance and 241 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,840 success. I extend an infinite love, 242 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,480 abundance and success and I hit it over and over and over again. 243 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,840 Thank you God for this moment. Thank you God for this moment. 244 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,720 We know the undercurrent of the prayer is balsada exists in the 245 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:57,120 present moment, be angry about what happened yesterday. 246 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,840 I'm not trying to be fearful about what's going to happen 247 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,320 tomorrow. I'm trying to honor the present 248 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,680 moment where all power exists. That's the only place I can 249 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,960 touch God. And in the present moment, as 250 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,120 you got for this moment, thank you God for this moment. 251 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,720 So we start touching genuine power. 252 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:16,280 We start building a relationship with the thing that's powerful 253 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,400 enough to heal our addiction. That's the thing that pulls a 254 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,160 stock from the gates of death. That's the thing that changed my 255 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,560 behavior. Order routine, invite God into 256 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,960 that process. It's super powerful. 257 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,000 I became a new person, bro. That's how we become recovered. 258 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,760 Yeah, it's 100%. And, and I want to give people 259 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,200 in this stage, this one year stage real quick, and then we're 260 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,280 going to go to phase two. But 4K PIS or keep performance 261 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,360 indicators, however you want to say it, Four things that you 262 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:47,560 know you can grade yourself off of #1 is 365 days of abstinence. 263 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,640 You already fucked yourself. That hasn't happened. 264 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,600 So start from zero, start on one and I'm going to go one through 265 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,320 365, you know, so that's the first one because a year can 266 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,840 start. You know, you can start a year 267 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,000 anytime. If you if you if you commit to 268 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,120 this today, you can start your year right now. 269 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,120 It doesn't have to wait till January the 1st. 270 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,520 And then you need had to have 50 plus support group meetings. 271 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,680 That's one almost every week. Maybe you're sick two weeks. 272 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:14,560 So you don't go, but you either have to have the flu or be 273 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,840 really sick. If you don't, you have to make a 274 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,040 commitment. If you do not have a flu or 275 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,920 you're not super sick or you're going to hurt somebody else, you 276 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:27,600 go to a meeting period once a week and then 80% diet, exercise 277 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,040 appearance. So, you know, you can look at 278 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,120 that and be like, fuck, I haven't gone to a meeting in two 279 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,880 weeks. Well, instantly, you know what I 280 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,680 need to do, You know, our, our shit. 281 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,920 I've, I've gotten off my diet. I need to go back on to this 282 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,760 because any one of these things and then #4 of course is what we 283 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,080 just talked about, you know, is prayer, meditation, 284 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,840 affirmations, you know, having that spiritual side. 285 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,840 So if you're out on any of those 4, though, one of those 4 will 286 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,840 lead you to falling off the wagon. 287 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,000 Absolutely. If you stick with those four 288 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,160 things, you're going to do good. You could you could just bracket 289 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,080 that and say this is a program of action. 290 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,680 If you follow, if you take these actions, you have a very high 291 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,520 likelihood of there is successful sobriety. 292 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,760 I like live 15 years later. It's by the grace of God, my 293 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,400 life is bigger than it's ever been, and that was accomplished 294 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,480 one day at a time, one day at a yes. 295 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,040 When shit gets heavy, it's an hour at a time. 296 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,600 When she gets super heavy, it's a minute at a time. 297 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,800 The prayers literally next right thing, next right thing. 298 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,440 God help me to do the next right thing. 299 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:31,880 God help me do the next right thing. 300 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,920 And then that that that you nailed it with the the support 301 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,680 group. It's what a minimum once a week 302 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,040 you have to be plugged in to a community have to be plugged 303 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,520 into a support group. What that really sounds like is 304 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:48,520 do not isolate. Yes, yes, us, us alone and our 305 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,240 problems. Me Dwayne and Dwayne's mind are 306 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,680 not the best playmates. They don't up with the best 307 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:54,440 idea, right? Right. 308 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,360 I need to be plugged into other people that didn't call me on my 309 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,920 shit, but also other other people that are going to provide 310 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,840 me with wisdom. Wisdom is collected. 311 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,640 That's oh good. That's so good. 312 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,520 If I if I was big enough to get sober by myself I would have 313 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,240 fucking done it like. 100%, yeah. 314 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,560 We all need help and it's totally OK to just start where 315 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,600 you're at, improve that diet and and and exercise. 316 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,160 Shoot for 80%. You just have a high aim. 317 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,680 Just head in that direction. We're going to fuck it up every 318 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,080 single day, but at least I have an aim. 319 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,440 At least I have a direction. And if that prayer, meditation, 320 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,520 building a relationship with higher power, bro, if, if, if, 321 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:36,240 if you do all of those things as a way of life, We say I'm 322 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,040 recovered. I, I have had I have experienced 323 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,760 recovery sufficient enough to bring about a personality shift. 324 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,880 I'm a different person. Like my personality has 325 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,080 literally changed my walk. I grew up in the in the same 326 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,360 town and we actually grew up across the street from each 327 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,960 other going to high school. Wow. 328 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,240 Bro, we didn't go to the same high school, but we did with our 329 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,720 high schools. River did right down the street 330 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,960 from each other. Santa Fe is a small city, you 331 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,440 know what I mean? Like everyone kind of knows 332 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,200 everyone. We never met when and I say 333 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:11,240 thank God because that's what I did the majority of my drinking. 334 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,760 And if I had met her then there she wouldn't want to have 335 00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:17,560 anything to do with me. Nobody wanted anything to do 336 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,599 with me. I'm a different person. 337 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,280 Like she met me at the right time. 338 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,240 That's awesome. Yeah. 339 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,720 Let's get into phase two. This is great, bro. 340 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,200 We're you're nailing it. So this is years 2:00 to 5:00. 341 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,720 This is that consolidation, the rewiring of the neural and the 342 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:37,160 psychological patterns and the solidifying of your purpose and 343 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,040 your restoration to functionality in life. 344 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,120 So biologically, you're still maintaining abstinence. 345 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,600 So that's that's kicking. You're hopefully you're doing 346 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,040 your diet and your exercise. The reason you have to do diet 347 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,000 and exercise and why it's so important, I would put it up 348 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:56,240 there super high as far as not relapsing is because you must 349 00:17:56,240 --> 00:18:00,880 normalize dopamine and you have to keep the epigenetics going 350 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,520 and I know you could talk about that. 351 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,080 Yeah, absolutely, man. There's a new form of science. 352 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,640 It's fucking. We can literally turn on new 353 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:13,280 cells, new proteins in our genes dependent upon our environment. 354 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,120 And the question that arises from that's like, Oh my God. 355 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,080 And then the the epigenetics is actually finding those new 356 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,920 cells, those new genes can be passed down. 357 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,000 Yes. Yes, from generation to 358 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,400 generation, which is absolutely exciting, but the point of OK, 359 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,520 the environment turning on my genes, the question that arises 360 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:35,880 is what's my environment? What type of environment am I 361 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,840 creating? Am I creating a world where I 362 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,480 have higher power and I can lean on something bigger than myself? 363 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,280 Am I creating a world where I'm prioritizing inner peace and 364 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,440 service to others? Am I creating a world where I 365 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,520 have a purpose in my life and I'm and I'm high functioning, I 366 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,240 actually have a job that I show up to. 367 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,080 I feel good that I've accomplished my workouts. 368 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,360 I feel healthier in my body because I'm nailing my protein 369 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,920 goals, my nutrition goals. Is that the environment I'm 370 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,800 creating? Or am I creating an environment 371 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,760 where I'm terrified because I didn't show up for work? 372 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:14,120 There's empty bottles all around me that I don't know who's at 373 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,160 the front door? I'm pretty afraid to answer 374 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,680 because it might be the cops, it might be the landlords. 375 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,080 I don't fucking know. I don't want an answer. 376 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,040 I'm hiding under the sheets, you know what I mean? 377 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,240 What? What environment am I creating? 378 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,960 What genes am I turning on that epigenetics is a fucking 379 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:33,520 superpower right now for us, We can turn the volume up on 380 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,680 healing. We can turn the volume up on 381 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,560 getting well and being high functioning. 382 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,320 And then you know, very well, bro, addicts are the best 383 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,480 entrepreneurs there are. Like yes. 384 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,600 If you turn that energy. Yes, take that desire, that 385 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:50,440 energy to get loaded and redirect it into recovery. 386 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,920 Bro you're. Unstoppable, unstoppable. 387 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,680 This is really cool because I think in these in these, these 388 00:19:55,680 --> 00:20:00,040 years that's happening from a psychological standpoint, I feel 389 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:05,760 this can sometimes not be it. It this victim mindset can still 390 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,960 come out years 2 through 5. And what I believe we should be 391 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,240 doing, and I know you're going to agree 100% is what you're 392 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:16,800 talking about is we need to embrace a creator identity. 393 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,480 Oh yeah, we're creators now. Absolutely. 394 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,040 We, we. Well, this is what we've been 395 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,280 discussing the entire time prompted. 396 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:25,560 Very simple. This is right. 397 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,240 I talked to about the people that I try and help, especially 398 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,640 the clients that I have at the gym. 399 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:35,080 Are you the victim of your life, creator of your life? 400 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,560 That answer is simple for us. It's just tough. 401 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,160 If I'm if I'm serious about getting into into and having 402 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,880 long term recovery, if I'm serious about that, that means 403 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,040 I'm also willing to take 100% responsibility for what's going 404 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,440 on in my hand. Yeah, yeah, it's. 405 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,280 Not slice and surroundings and my environment. 406 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,480 It's my environment. Starts here with my head. 407 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,440 If I'm willing to tear 100% responsibility, that also means 408 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:07,600 we start paying attention to our thoughts, those victim thoughts, 409 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:12,400 those fear thoughts, those if only she was different, I would 410 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,480 be OK Thoughts those are delusions aren't. 411 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,960 That is not reality. I'm playing the victim when I'm 412 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,600 lost up here in the itty bitty shitty committee and I'm hoping 413 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,440 and I'm hoping the whole world was behave Dwyane's Wade. 414 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,680 It's just a losing strategy. A better strategy for us, of 415 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,040 course, is self sacrifice for the future. 416 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,440 I'm going to make a sacrificial decision now, which might look 417 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,320 like going to a meeting. I'm going to make a sacrificial 418 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,840 decision now that might look like take 35 minutes and go to 419 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,280 the fucking gym. I'm going to take a sacrificial 420 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,400 decision now and say take my ass to the grocery store and buy 421 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,480 some food on the around on the outer perimeter of the grocery 422 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,640 by home. Get some fucking eggs, get some 423 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,640 fresh veggies, get nothing frozen, nothing in the middle or 424 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,960 a yellow box. I'm going to take a sacrificial 425 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,280 decision now, which is going to benefit future doing later. 426 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,600 We're the only creatures on planet Earth that can do that, 427 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,160 Jake. We're the only creatures that 428 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,840 can plan for the future and then take action. 429 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,840 Well, we have a creator and he put in US the ability to create. 430 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,280 Yes, that's our identity. Our your true identity is to be 431 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,040 pure creator. And I, I want to say this, yes, 432 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,040 from a spiritual aspect, in these years, you're going to 433 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,080 forgive past mistakes, truly forgive. 434 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,920 You're going to work on forgiveness because you're going 435 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,520 to be more mature. You're going to be able to do 436 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,760 that. And then, and, and I want you to 437 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,240 talk about this, Dwayne, you're going to frame addiction as a 438 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,920 teacher, not as you're not a victim anymore. 439 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,560 You have a creator identity. So the framing, the reframing, 440 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:45,600 the reprogramming of addiction becomes that that addiction past 441 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,840 tense. Was a teacher, Absolutely bro. 442 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,920 So so powerful. I know we're throwing a lot of 443 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:54,440 people quickly, addicts and Alcoholics, once they commit to 444 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,960 a recovery program and start doing the deal and living this 445 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,000 way of life we are fucking phenomenal at. 446 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:06,760 I mean yes, throwing absolute shit into gold. 447 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,840 Make absolute shit and transmute it into gold. 448 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:16,120 Ow on earth was hell. All that pain, all that 449 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:19,640 destruction that I experienced as an active alcoholic, how is 450 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,960 that today one of my greatest assets? 451 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,480 It's something I do not regret. It's something that I do not 452 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,360 want to try and turn my back to. I don't regret it. 453 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,360 How? How can I make it useful for me 454 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,360 today? Well, looks like stuff like this 455 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,680 looks like doing a podcast where we're trying to be of service to 456 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,920 other. It looks like extending out the 457 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,040 hand of help, letting other people know that this life is 458 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,640 available, available for you. Getting, getting better, having 459 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,560 improvement, getting healthy and living well is available for 460 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,720 you. Jason's done it. 461 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,720 I've done it. There's a way out We can show 462 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,840 you a way out we want. Yeah, I lost. 463 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,400 Yes. That's so good bro. 464 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,720 I also want people to understand year three-year 4 now, since you 465 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,520 are a creator and you're creator now, it's time to take that 466 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,280 social community leadership role. 467 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,480 And how you do that is to become a sponsor. 468 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,760 Talk about talk about helping someone else and how much that's 469 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,160 helped you, Dwayne, by helping other addicts. 470 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:19,520 You know, it's a very powerful spiritual paradox to say 471 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,480 something like I cannot transmit something I don't have. 472 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,880 So if I want to try and teach somebody spiritual principles, I 473 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:28,840 need to know those spiritual principles myself. 474 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,360 So there's an initial self improvement that takes place, 475 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,800 but it doesn't come full circle. It's like, what's the point? 476 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,480 Good for you, Dwayne. You got a lot of knowledge. 477 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,720 Right, right. Yes, yeah. 478 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,240 What's the? Fucking point. 479 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,440 If I'm not sharing that with other people and trying to also 480 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,120 enrich their lives, it's like, it's like, we're so selfish, 481 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,720 brother. It's like I said, if I said 482 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,160 Jason and I, how are you doing? And you said, oh, hey, doing 483 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,160 good. And you say I'm making a 484 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,520 sandwich and you say, Hey, can I have half of your sandwich? 485 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,640 And I was like, well, I don't. I'm kind of planning on eating 486 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,800 all of it. And and that's how selfish we 487 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,440 are, bro. That's how addicts behave. 488 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,960 But an idea, an idea or principle is not like that is I 489 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,960 can say, hey, Jay, look at this idea. 490 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,920 You and I do this all the time. Listen to this idea I just 491 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,400 heard. I can share an idea with you. 492 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:18,680 You get to keep 100% of the idea and I get to keep 100% of the 493 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,600 idea. We both benefit. 494 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:25,640 And so we again again back to Genesis broke 11, God created 495 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:30,120 the earth out of chaos. We start creating this helpful 496 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:33,440 relationship where we're of service to other people. 497 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,080 I'm creating a world where I'm actually here to help. 498 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,440 I show up with the idea. What can I bring to the table 499 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,320 rather than what do you have for me? 500 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,920 And when I do that, I start to feel good about the man I am. 501 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,840 I set to light up on the inside. It feels way better than 502 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,120 stealing your wallet and then trying to help you look for it 503 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,440 after. Yes, you're embarrassed when I 504 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,000 do that kind of shit. Dude, I love that that you went 505 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,200 to Genesis 1-1 something I heard John 11, you know, in the New 506 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,600 Testament, John 11 that says it says it says in the beginning 507 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,720 was the word and the word is low is logos. 508 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:12,160 Logos is the universal laws. And when you go against them, 509 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,920 guess what, they don't care. They're you're going to you go 510 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,040 against the universal law, it's going to smack you back. 511 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,560 That's the law. That's how it is. 512 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,960 It's a law. If you speed and there's a cop, 513 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,560 he can pull you over. It's the law there then you 514 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,040 could do it's a law. So in the beginning, before 515 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:31,160 there was order, there was the law and then the law as the 516 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,560 Spirit. Genesis 1/3 says the Spirit 517 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,280 moved upon the water, you know, and then conserves without form 518 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:42,400 and void and, and then through the law, God came in through 519 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,400 with that with the Holy Spirit and then brought order. 520 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,800 So you know, what's the water the. 521 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,760 Water is chaos. God ordered the chaos with the 522 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,680 law. We start, but you got to. 523 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,040 You got to have chaos, bro. You got to have water to have 524 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,680 birth. Absolutely did. 525 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,040 We need both. We need in the end and we, it's 526 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,040 our job to just thread the line. We want to, we want to be on, 527 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,400 you know, the proper balance of each. 528 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,440 However, for addicts, it's just fucking chaos all the time. 529 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,880 I've been drowning for a while. That's not a drink, that's a 530 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,200 flood. Yes, yeah, 100%. 531 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,360 The last thing I want to talk about in this phase two before 532 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:20,280 we get into phase three, which is mastery phase two, I think 533 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,560 it's really important to understand that you need to when 534 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,040 you're start looking at yeah, I'm going to meetings regularly. 535 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,720 I have spiritual practices, I'm working out, I'm eating good. 536 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,480 You know, I'm big, took a leadership role, I'm mentoring, 537 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,360 you know, someone else. Something that can really help 538 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:38,480 you is at least have two plus super meaningful restored 539 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,480 relationships at that time. Three to five years, 2 to 3:00 540 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,080 to 5:00 years. If you've been consistent and 541 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,320 has had that amount of abstinence, you can introduce 542 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,680 yourself back into relationships. 543 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,920 You've earned the right. Absolutely, you know, and it 544 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,640 with the proper guidance. The the most important 545 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,840 suggestion is that we don't do those type of things alone. 546 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,720 We have proper guidance, just like you said, with appropriate 547 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,560 mentorship and someone guiding me through this process in 548 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,240 regards to restoring these relationships that the the 549 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:11,400 healing, the miracle of healing that it takes place is so 550 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,760 powerful, bro, because I get to come to these these individuals 551 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,640 that I harmed in the past and say I was wrong. 552 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,240 Is there anything I can do to make it right? 553 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,920 Then I also get to say this is me making a commitment to never 554 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,600 be that type of man again. And then the deal with that is I 555 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:31,720 actually have to change. I actually have to not be that 556 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,880 type of man again. So I have to really go there 557 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:37,240 with a sincere desire to be different. 558 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:40,760 And this is just such a fucking huge, beautiful thing, bro. 559 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,320 Because on one-on-one, from one perspective, I come to them 560 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,880 different and they learn to, you know, OK. 561 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,520 Over time, my actions can rebuild trust. 562 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,600 It's very powerful. 100% a much better version of me, right? 563 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,880 This is the alchemy. This is the God starts to fill 564 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,600 our hearts. What also takes places? 565 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,800 Well, the best version of them gets to step forward also 566 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,680 because they don't have to be in a flight or fight around. 567 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,560 Me and. They have to be terrified of 568 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,040 what Dwayne is going to do. When is he going to fly off the 569 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,880 handle? When's he going to grab a 570 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,360 bottle? The best version of them gets to 571 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,480 step forward because now they can just exist around me. 572 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,120 Yeah, have to be afraid. That is like the heart gets 573 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,720 filled up. And actually our recovery 574 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,480 benefits the people closest to us this week. 575 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,960 Give them that opportunity. They start to get better. 576 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,880 I love that I love that I want to get into phase 3 here. 577 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,160 The mastery part, whether that's if you're a go getter, that's 578 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,480 year 6, if you're, if it may take you 10 years, like we're 579 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:51,800 still, you know, you've been, you know, free for 15 years. 580 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,680 I have food addiction. So I still face that here and 581 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,600 there. But it's not, you know, I make 582 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,480 my meals, eat my meals, do my thing. 583 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,880 I mean, you've known me for a long time. 584 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,080 When I do have, when I do have something, it's intentional, 585 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,600 it's purposeful. And it's a tin, you know, and I 586 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,360 make sure, yeah, I make sure it's a tin. 587 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:11,400 If it's not a tin, I don't need it. 588 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:12,960 If it's garbage, I'm not going to need any of that stuff. 589 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,880 But no fast food ton of that stuff. 590 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:20,520 So what we look at with mastery is This Is Us living a purpose 591 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:25,120 driven high impact life. And it's us that we have 592 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:30,080 integrated all the addictions lessons into our life because it 593 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,920 was a big teacher for us. It was one of those big teachers 594 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,520 that came along in our life. How we we've learned the lessons 595 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,760 of those and we're integrating them in what we do daily. 596 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,360 Recognize OOP, that that's a past thought. 597 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,400 OOP Yeah. And of that, that's that's an 598 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,320 addictive thought. I don't even want to go near 599 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:50,560 that fucker and I I want to get into, you know, biological. 600 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,800 This is sustained abstinence, like you said, all the cells in 601 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,960 your body. So if you are thinking about it, 602 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,160 then it's just thought in your head. 603 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,040 It has no power, there's nothing there. 604 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,480 Your cells are completely clean and then health routines for you 605 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,560 want to have you still. It takes a long time, especially 606 00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,600 if you use drugs. It takes a long time to get a 607 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,080 baseline brain function that's healthy. 608 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,920 So, you know, drinking tons of water, you drink a lot of water. 609 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,040 I drink a lot of water. I've got my big water jug. 610 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,840 These are, I got BCAAS here that I put in here, you know, for 611 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,920 after working out, you know, so we're, we're constantly drinking 612 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,320 water. These are this is what's going 613 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,480 to help help your brain and your brain, your brain's way slower 614 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,520 to heal then especially if you did meth or you did a ton of 615 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:30,840 pills. Yes. 616 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,480 And then, you know, at this level, you're monitoring stress, 617 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,240 fatigue and you're getting it medical annual checkups, you're 618 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,280 getting your blood done and you're practicing, you know, 619 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,240 mindfulness, You're you're practicing a spiritual practice. 620 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,680 This is what I want you to talk about because I think it's so 621 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,160 important. A lot of people have a hard time 622 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,120 and this happens like I talked to people still and they still 623 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,040 haven't done this. And that's releasing shame. 624 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,520 And I put this at the end because I feel like a lot of 625 00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:00,440 people are stuck in this and it takes years and years and years. 626 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,640 And I think that's that's why they say I'm still recovering or 627 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,560 you could never say that you're recovered because it's the shame 628 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,040 of the addiction. Does that make sense, Dwayne? 629 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,040 I still am feeling shame of addiction. 630 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,440 It makes sense. However, I would also just 631 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:21,600 suggest that this is more of a lineage definition. 632 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,880 It's kind of the way people are taught to approach recovery. 633 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:30,120 If you are taught you will never recover from this, your 634 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,400 addiction is in the parking lot doing pushups waiting for you. 635 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,520 Which I agree with. Like if I started drinking 636 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,560 today, I know that I'm not going to have one. 637 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,240 Not not really interested. I've never been interested in 638 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,000 it. But the point is there may be 639 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:48,360 many reasons people would be have a issue with our language 640 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:52,280 of recovered addict. I would totally agree that some 641 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:58,160 of the shame surrounding my past behavior would propel me to be 642 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,680 very serious about my perception of my disease. 643 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,920 Like I as alcoholic, I will never be recovered from this. 644 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,880 And a certain point, bro, we're kind of like at semantics. 645 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,640 It's kind of like, well, that's the language choosing to use. 646 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,480 However, you're not behaving the same way you used to. 647 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,560 We one, one of the things that I teach are most of the people I 648 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,960 work with is pain. And this is not my language. 649 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,600 This comes from, from literature that we, we, we just love pain. 650 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,480 Is we've talked about this. We did a podcast on this. 651 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,720 Pain is the touchstone to all spiritual growth. 652 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,840 Most people I've felt many years, I thought touchstone 653 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,360 meant like cornerstone, like, oh, I have to be in pain to grow 654 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,680 spiritually. That's what a touchstone is. 655 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,040 And it's like, no, that's not what touchstone. 656 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,160 And I actually have to look it up. 657 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:47,760 A touchstone is a tool that was used by miners doing the gold 658 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,240 rush and they would rub it on other rocks. 659 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:55,080 It was a stone that they would rub on other rocks to see if the 660 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,160 rock was gold, it to see if it had the color. 661 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:03,600 So is the test to all spiritual growth? 662 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,960 Am I behaving the same way or am I doing something different? 663 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,480 The way I used to behave was pouring alcohol down my throat 664 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,199 and not showing up for work. What I'm being different now is 665 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,280 how about a little bit of prayer about that? 666 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,800 Can I ask God to enter and soften my heart? 667 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,600 What am I doing different? Can I go to the gym and take out 668 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,440 some stress and anger on the weights and I call someone that 669 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,719 I trust? Hey Jay, can I bounce something 670 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,360 off you right now? I'm getting my fucking ass 671 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:29,840 kicked. Do I have support? 672 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,120 So if I'm taking different action when I'm in pain, I'll 673 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,600 recovering nothing. That behavior leads us into that 674 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,040 mastery. I would ideally like that to 675 00:34:40,199 --> 00:34:43,520 permeate every area of my life. Yes, yes, yeah, 100%. 676 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,560 I think 1 of the big things too in this is people, of course we 677 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,199 talked before. So this is somebody that's 678 00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:51,880 advanced, they have a purpose, they're driven, they're doing 679 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,960 these things. But it's not until we start to 680 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:59,040 develop a clear mission and live a clear mission. 681 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,000 You've got to gain clarity in your mission. 682 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,960 You've got to know what your, what is your mission because it 683 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,880 may not be the job that you're at right now. 684 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,640 It may be you being maybe an entrepreneur or maybe starting 685 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,000 your own business. Maybe it's you doing 2 jobs at 686 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,000 the same time. Maybe it's, it's not being in 687 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,880 the relationship that you, maybe you've spiritually outgrown the 688 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,600 person that you're with. You know, a lot of people don't 689 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:25,880 have clarity, and you need clarity if you want to continue 690 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,760 being recovered. Absolutely, yeah. 691 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:31,320 Otherwise, you know, you wander around in the desert, it's 692 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,560 Exodus. All in Lost, it's Exodus, man. 693 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,120 It's like. The tiny we. 694 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:38,520 Got away. We got away from the tyrant. 695 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,400 Alcohol. But then we're in the desert. 696 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,280 It's like I don't know what I am. 697 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,680 I'm wandering around lost. So I have to have clarity, like 698 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,280 you said, I have to have high aim. 699 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,280 I have to have vision. Moses came down from Sinai with 700 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:56,800 the Decalogue and said be this, do these 10 things and they 701 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,880 became a people. Then they came Israel. 702 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,400 They became yes, yes, they had a high aim. 703 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,040 These 10 things. We're going to goof it up every 704 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,160 day. We're going to miss the mark, 705 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:10,000 right, But at least I have direction ahead and be very 706 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,680 clear on your mission. Be very clear on your your 707 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,600 purpose. Be very clear on the thing that 708 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,200 lights you up. What do you love during most bro 709 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:18,480 you and I? Yes, there you go. 710 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,960 Made have made businesses surrounding what we like doing 711 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,680 most. Why would you do that? 712 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,040 Why would you want to do it? Does that answer is simple. 713 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:31,520 That's when I feel most alive. That's when I'm creating. 714 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:36,040 That's about Genesis bro. God told Adam you. 715 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,080 You named the cattle. You do it. 716 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,240 You order the world. You, you, you put things in 717 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:45,680 their proper place. We're our own little atoms, our 718 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,720 own little world. But without an aim. 719 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,640 There's no fucking way I'm going to do that. 720 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,520 I'm wondering where I'm lost. Dude, and that's that's so 721 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,760 important. I want you know, people that 722 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,800 have struggled with addiction to understand this. 723 00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:01,960 When you get into these levels of year 678910, it is time for 724 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,120 you to be done with the shame and start looking with the 725 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,360 lessons that you've learned at high impact work. 726 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:13,440 Trust me, you're being fearful. You have the ability if you 727 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,680 conquered addiction, you have the ability to do high impact 728 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,560 work. You should be making great 729 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:19,920 money. You should be doing something 730 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,480 amazing if it's if it's if you just doing construction start a 731 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,200 construction company, whatever it may be like you said, 732 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,440 whatever lights your passion up, go do it. 733 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,800 Maybe you do it part time. Maybe you do it on the weekends. 734 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,400 You got plenty of time you don't need. 735 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,080 We high impact people like you and I and what we've learned and 736 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:40,520 and do we don't we don't waste time It's not like we we're 737 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,240 working. Where do you work? 738 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,720 You work your ass off, bro. What time do you get up in the 739 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,600 morning? Yeah 3:00 AM. 740 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:47,800 You're getting up at 3, AMI feel. 741 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:52,280 I feel bad now that I get up at 5:00 AM, but there's still tons 742 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,120 of people sleeping. Yeah, there's still. 743 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,880 Doors of equal you work way later than I worked. 744 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,960 Though, so it's yeah, yeah, I'll work till 10 or 11 or whatever, 745 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,800 or I'll have my laptop while I'm watching, you know, watch 746 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,320 something on YouTube and have my laptop. 747 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,520 But I warn people real quickly broke. 748 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,360 Take it back off of what you're saying in regards to this shame 749 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,720 because it is so important. The high impact work helps me 750 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:19,480 transmute that shame into gold. I'm I'm no longer ashamed of 751 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:23,800 that bad behavior in the past because that experience can now 752 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,680 help somebody else. I can come to someone hurting, 753 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,080 bro. I can come to someone broken and 754 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,240 bleeding and say, hey, I've been there too. 755 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,600 Yeah, I did that also. Yeah. 756 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,800 And I know what it feels like to behave that way. 757 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,000 Let me show you the way out, or let me offer you a path that 758 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,920 worked. Yeah, I went to the redwoods, 759 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:43,680 you know, the Redwood forest, and I always encourage everybody 760 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,160 to go there. And it's so neat to see these 761 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,240 huge monster trees that's been around for thousands of years, 762 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,880 but they have some that are cut off and they're bigger than, you 763 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,880 know, then they're like 12 feet around, you know, and there's 764 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,400 tree rings in there. And I want you to understand 765 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,920 that your addiction, your pain, your suffering, the trauma of 766 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,600 experience, everything, they're just tree rings. 767 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,160 That's all they are. It's just showing you the years 768 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,640 of what you've gone through. But those tree rings, it was 769 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,600 really interesting. Park Ranger was talking about 770 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,000 this. He goes, that's what creates the 771 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,960 stability in the tree. And each of those rings are what 772 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,600 it went through that year or multiple years. 773 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,000 But the wind, the storms, everything that goes on, it 774 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,360 didn't blow the tree down. It just made the tree stronger. 775 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,280 It needs that. You'll get a really weak tree if 776 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,240 you don't have it from when it's it has to have the winds and 777 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,160 storms and everything, you know, And yeah, we all may be Jonah 778 00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:32,600 and the whale may come, but the whales, the addiction. 779 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,520 But what happened? It's spit him out. 780 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,000 I couldn't even handle him. You know we're so powerful 781 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,360 creators that Addiction can't even handle us. 782 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,760 That's right. That's exactly right. 783 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,920 Then the whales spit Jonah out when he said yes to his 784 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,080 responsibility, Said OK, yes I'll do this. 785 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,600 Yeah, you think that that bottle is like a whale that's just 786 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,840 surrounding and you're stuck inside of it, but that's 787 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,200 bullshit. And then why then Jonah went 788 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,440 right to a mission, and he saved the whole town. 789 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,440 He. Said the town of people he 790 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,680 hated. Exactly, he's like a racist that 791 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,840 wouldn't do it that it saves everybody. 792 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,440 Dude, It's that's how powerful you are too. 793 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,440 You're just you're just tree rings and so don't have shame 794 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,080 over a fucking tree ring. Learn it and understand it. 795 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,280 Say I've gone through more bullshit than most people have 796 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,120 and guess what? That makes me a high impact 797 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,880 person and I can do high impact work. 798 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,320 I can be successful. I can, I can buy rentals, I can 799 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,400 buy stocks. I can buy cryptocurrency. 800 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:28,880 I can, I can do. I can work as in the C-Suite or 801 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,840 I can own multiple businesses like you do. 802 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,320 You can do this. I was homeless. 803 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,120 Dwayne was on the side of the road with Bloody. 804 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,000 Yeah, absolutely, man. That's why we call it recovered 805 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,160 ad is because we're nothing. We're we, we've come so far, 806 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:44,680 bro. We we're different. 807 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,360 I'm not that Jason. No. 808 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,640 Yeah, that that Jason's gone. Well, Dwayne, this has been 809 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,240 great. This has been awesome. 45 810 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:51,280 minutes. We hammered it. 811 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,480 So this, this you're going to have to listen to like multiple 812 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:57,160 times, guys. It's always an honor being with 813 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,040 you guys. Invest in yourself. 814 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,520 That's the only person I'm willing to invest in, at least 815 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,520 when it's set and getting nasty. You know what I mean? 816 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,880 The only person I want to invest in is me and God.