1
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The only way you're going to be 
disciplined is by taking 

2
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responsibility if you were a 
slave to whatever your brain 

3
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demanded in the moment. 
I think it's so important that 

4
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people understand feelings are 
terrible decision makers. 

5
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,680
The most successful people in 
the study in recovery, they 

6
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found, were the ones that would 
do it regardless of how they 

7
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feel. 
I don't think addiction so much 

8
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about the substance. 
It is about total inability to 

9
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say no. 
I don't have any integrated 

10
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aggression in my addiction. 
It was very easy. 

11
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And even in early sobriety. 
Guys, we're here today. 

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What's up, Dwayne? 
How's it going? 

13
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Well, good. 
We're talking about the one 

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thing I think that separates 
people who stay sober from 

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people who don't. 
It's not what a lot of people 

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think it is. 
I bought into the narrative that

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addiction was this mysterious 
disease that just happened to 

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me. 
And when you it's not. 

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I don't want to get into an 
argument of rewards, disease or 

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not. 
What I want to get into and what

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I want us to talk about is this 
belief that I was a victim to it

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and that I was powerless and 
that recovery was just about 

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managing symptoms. 
There wasn't like life skill 

24
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that I needed to understand. 
And this is what I'll hand it 

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over to you, but there wasn't 
this like, life skill of 

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self-discipline. 
And I don't think addiction so 

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much about the substance as it 
is about my complete and total 

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inability to say no to myself, 
if that makes sense. 

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Absolutely makes perfect sense. 
I can't say no. 

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I don't have any integrated 
aggression in my addiction. 

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It was. 
Very easy. 

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And even in early sobriety. 
I want to this is really 

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interesting. 
I don't know if you ever heard 

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of the National Institute on 
Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. 

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It's called the NIH. 
It's really popular government 

36
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and everything else. 
They had a neuroscientist study 

37
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,480
this and this is so interesting 
and this is from 2025 and it 

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said your brain plasticity means
addiction creates specific neuro

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adaptations. 
But this is crazy that they 

40
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found out these same narrow 
adaptations can be rewired. 

41
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:24,280
Just like they got rewired 
through your addiction, they can

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be rewired through consistent 
discipline, behavioral changes. 

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So 50 here we are sitting 5051. 
I can go into my addiction, 

44
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rewire my neuroplasticity into 
addiction, and then I'm addict, 

45
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addict, do drugs, alcohol, 
whatever it is. 

46
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,440
Or I can go this way and then 
I'm disciplined, going to the 

47
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gym everyday, eating clean, 
being self aware with my anger. 

48
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You see what I'm saying? 
But the same neuroplasque 

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working either or away right? 
But though he that's where the I

50
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,800
mean that that's where not 
having balls enough to to 

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understand the fear. 
I think there's a lot of people 

52
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that don't know how to get 
discipline sounds great, but I 

53
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,880
don't know how to get past the 
fear part. 

54
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,920
I don't want to go into to 
church and go to confession. 

55
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I don't want to go into the gym 
and get the membership because 

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I'm back. 
What I'm saying, it's like this 

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narcissistic fear. 
I don't know. 

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I always go into the grocery 
store and I'd just go in those 

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middle aisles, buy the box stuff
and just eat that because it's 

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easy. 
I don't know. 

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00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,840
I don't know how to make our 
meal prep. 

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Or did you? 
It's like that beginning stages 

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of the discipline where people 
don't know how to address their 

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fear. 
Yes, yes, 100%. 

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And I think it starts with the 
comfortable lie. 

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And I know I'm gonna, I'm gonna 
be controversial here and hit 

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the elephant in the room. 
If that's fine, we've got some 

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dishes over. 
But the recovery industrial 

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complex, that's what I like to 
call it, recovery industrial 

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complex, any industrial complex 
always wants to make you the 

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victim because there's billions 
and billions of dollars at 

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stake. 
They've built this entire 

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business model around this one 
central lie where addiction is 

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this chronic progressive disease
that you manage rather than this

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learned behavior that you can 
change. 

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Because we need you to 
understand that if you have this

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chronic progressive disease, 
then you get a get out of jail 

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free card. 
Every bad decision, every 

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relapse, every moment you choose
the easy path over the right 

80
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path, the discipline path, then 
what does that cause you to do? 

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It causes you to be able to 
never take responsibility. 

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And the only way you're going to
be disciplined is by taking 

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responsibility, if that makes 
sense. 

84
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,120
You have to because you 
recognize as much as I do, 

85
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,840
especially for addiction, is the
physical is the gateway to the 

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emotion. 
It makes your body look good. 

87
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,520
People give you compliments like
I'm 52 and people are like, Oh 

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00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,240
my God, you look great for 52. 
OK, whatever, let's get that 

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passed. 
The emotional and the mental 

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aspects of having that 
disciplined physical exercise 

91
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,240
daily is what keeps me sane. 
Because addicts, we have were 

92
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,840
wired a little bit. 
Like I said before, we're for 

93
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,760
our, we've got to get tuned all 
the time. 

94
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,760
This is really interesting. 
In that study, they talked about

95
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:19,480
relapse statistics and this is 
crazy, Dwayne. 6 sort of people 

96
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,400
treated for substance use 
disorders will relapse at least 

97
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,840
once. 
And I think it's a lot higher. 

98
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,360
I think a lot of people don't 
admit that they relapse, but you

99
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,360
know what the difference is 
between the people that don't 

100
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relapse and people that relapse.
It's not the severity of their 

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addiction. 
It's not their trauma history 

102
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because they looked into all 
that. 

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It's not their genetics or their
family history. 

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This study hit all those things.
So it's not severity that they 

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did. 
It's not the trauma history, 

106
00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,840
it's not the genetics, not the 
family history. 

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You know what the studies found?
Self regulation that or was what

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positive related to length of 
abstinence and so that's 

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interesting to me because that's
disciplined self regulation is 

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disciplined pure and simple yes 
the interesting part to doing on

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this could you just said it that
fear art with evolutionary 

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psychology. 
They found that fear causes you 

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to get tunnel vision. 
Your amygdala causes you to do 

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that. 
So if you're getting chased in 

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the jungle by a tiger thousands 
of years ago, you're not going 

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to stop and look at the pretty 
flower. 

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Your vision doesn't open up. 
See, Oh no, this is so 

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beautiful. 
You're going to be so tunnel 

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vision. 
And that's what the addiction 

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does too. 
It creates the same amygdala 

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fear response and causes you to 
have tunnel vision. 

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And when you have tunnel vision,
you're not able to even 

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00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:43,480
understand or know through this 
fear fighter fight response to 

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take the breath, to take the 
time to relax, to say, you know 

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what? 
I can choose my thoughts. 

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And that's what you're saying 
when you begin to have that 

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realization that God gave you to
be like, you know what, Joanne? 

128
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You can choose your thoughts. 
You can choose your actions. 

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You can choose your response, 
and you can choose it every 

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single time because it's that 
choice. 

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And here's the magic, the moment
between stimulus and response, 

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that's where the discipline and 
the power lives. 

133
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And that is, I believe, between 
stimulus and response. 

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That's where recovery happens. 
And as Jocko calls it, that's 

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where freedom lives. 
Yeah, yes, yes. 

136
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That's so good. 
And the discipline doesn't 

137
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,840
restrict freedom. 
A lot of people think that, 

138
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,280
especially in your addiction, 
like you said, it actually 

139
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,400
creates it. 
But when you're using, when 

140
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,920
you're caught up in your 
addiction, you think you're 

141
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,880
free. 
You were saying this earlier. 

142
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I can do whatever the fuck I 
want, whenever I want. 

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00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,240
I have no rules, no structure, 
no one telling me what to do. 

144
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But really, that's a lie. 
You weren't free at all. 

145
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You were a slave pulse, you were
a slave to crazy, you were a 

146
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,480
slave to whatever your brain 
demanded in the moment, and you 

147
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,400
had zero choice. 
So that means zero choice means 

148
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,080
0 freedom. 
When you're controlled by your 

149
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,840
impulses, you're not free. 
And real freedom to me is being 

150
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,960
able to choose your response of 
being controlled instead of 

151
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,080
being controlled like reactions.
And what does that look like? 

152
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I want people to understand 
this, and I'll bish it back over

153
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:18,080
to you, but every discipline 
moment is a vote for your 

154
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:23,120
recovery, and recovery is won by
votes, not by feelings. 

155
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When you have an undisciplined 
moment, that is a vote for your 

156
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,799
addiction, if that makes sense. 
Yeah. 

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00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,080
Yeah. 
And, and I think it's so 

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00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,559
important that people understand
feelings are terrible decision 

159
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,919
makers. 
But addicts, we're all just 

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00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:45,360
living off our feelings. 
And the most successful people 

161
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,840
in the study and recovery they 
found were the ones that would 

162
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,440
do it regardless of how they 
feel. 

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00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,840
Because when you regularize, if 
you tell if you said President 

164
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,920
Biden or President Trump and 
you're like, hey, make the 

165
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,480
decision on World War 3 based 
off your feelings in the moment.

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00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,680
No, you want to be logic and 
data and a bunch of people in 

167
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,040
Congress and Senate and all 
this, but you want like a 

168
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,440
committees of people looking at 
all this. 

169
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,640
You don't want somebody just 
making feelings in ring are not 

170
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,800
real either, you know, and I 
don't want to get into that 

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00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,720
part, but I do want to take the 
next few minutes that we have 

172
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and get into if we can call it 4
pillars or whatever you want to 

173
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,160
call it. 
But what discipline actually 

174
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:28,160
looks like in recovery like 
specifically and number one, 

175
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pillar one, and we'll talk about
this as the neural discipline. 

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And the research shows us that 
social support and reduced 

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impulsivity predict fewer 
relapses. 

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This means daily practices that 
strengthen your prefrontal 

179
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cortex. 
Because alcohol changes your 

180
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,600
prefrontal cortex. 
When you drink and you do risky 

181
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,880
behavior, that's a change of the
prefrontal cortex. 

182
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So now you've got to do daily 
practices that strengthen your 

183
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,880
prefrontal cortex. 
That's mindfulness, breathing, 

184
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going to the gym, eating clean. 
You have to understand this 

185
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,160
neural discipline is brain 
training. 

186
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,000
You're building a part of your 
brain that's responsible for 

187
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,520
self-control, that addicts, 
they're at A1 on a scale of 1 to

188
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,080
10. 
Some people are born with like, 

189
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,840
really good self-control and 
other people are at a 1. 

190
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:19,320
And I think a lot of addicts can
be more risky and less 

191
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,240
self-control. 
But then also when it becomes 

192
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,800
disciplined, allows you to be 
entrepreneurial. 

193
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,760
Yeah, I, I love that. 
And that's pillar one at the 

194
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,120
neural side of things. 
Pillar two, you're an expert on 

195
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,600
this side is the physical 
discipline. 

196
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,400
Exercise literally creates new 
brain cells through a process 

197
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,760
called neurogenesis. 
So proper nutrition supports 

198
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,920
neurotransmare production. 
And one of the things that I 

199
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:45,880
love to do and that it's great 
for addicts, it's cold showers 

200
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,560
in the morning. 
And I know people think it's 

201
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,800
crazy, but it's discipline 
training. 

202
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:55,360
If I can get up out of the hour 
and not lay there, not check my 

203
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,560
phone and choose discomfort 
first thing in the morning, 

204
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,720
first thing I'm going to hit is 
the cold shower. 

205
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:07,560
And I know from the minute that 
I'm laying in bed, when I wake 

206
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,320
up, my brain starts saying, no, 
I don't want to do that. 

207
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,040
No, we're not going to do that. 
So. 

208
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:16,840
And I can overcome that if I can
choose discomfort when I'm 

209
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,240
triggered, I win every time. 
Yeah. 

210
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,120
It's so interesting. 
You know, this leads to Pillar 

211
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,000
3, and that's the emotional 
discipline. 

212
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:29,480
And obviously, in the study, 
Dwayne, experiencing closeness 

213
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,880
with others predicts not only 
positive emotional states. 

214
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,160
We all knew that. 
But guess what? 

215
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,640
It reduces impulsive behavior. 
So you going to a meeting when 

216
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,600
you don't feel like it reduces 
impulsive behavior. 

217
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,240
Isn't that crazy? 
Like having closeness with other

218
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:50,840
people that you're struggling 
with in neuroscience reduces you

219
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,440
wanting to use. 
There's a reason there's a sign 

220
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,560
everybody, it's not just woo 
going to the meeting. 

221
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,960
There's actually science backing
why you should be close with 

222
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,680
others and why you should go to 
meetings. 

223
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,720
Isn't that crazy? 
Yeah, the sex Edison security is

224
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:04,880
interesting. 
Something that I've been 

225
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,280
learning, that my higher self 
has been teaching me is what is 

226
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,760
looking at somebody else in 
higher self sex. 

227
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,920
Let's say you find an attractive
man or woman or whatever one, 

228
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,720
they're going to get old. 
I'm getting all of them, getting

229
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wrinkles all over my face. 
But 52 and #2 the biggest thing 

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is that person is having, no 
matter how beautiful they look, 

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they're having issues inside of 
them. 

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They're learning. 
There's learning lessons that 

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are happening inside of them. 
So how can I with closeness 

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without having that sexual 
abstraction? 

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You're going to have that, that,
that if somebody's beautiful, 

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they're beautiful, whatever. 
And you can appreciate that and 

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understand that. 
But then at the same time, how 

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can I operate? 
Am I going to operate in my 

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monkey mind, my reptilian break?
I'm going to operate in my 

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higher self. 
And what does my higher self 

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look like? 
And I think Jesus had tons of 

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interactions with women 
constantly. 

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Some people say he was married, 
some people say he wasn't. 

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Whatever doesn't matter. 
But we can see him always 

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elevating women, going against 
the norm, going against the 

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societal pressures that were put
on women. 

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And he always made them feel 
knowledgeable and honored and 

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accepted and allowed to be in 
with the disciples and listen to

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the teachings. 
And he honored them and, and you

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can see that. 
But the story with him being 

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with his mother over and over 
again and the conversations that

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they had together, how he loved 
his mom and honored his mom. 

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And we have Mary and the status 
of feminism for that. 

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And I think on the sexual side, 
I think that's really important.

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But the status side, it's like 
my higher self, I have so much 

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power that I can create worlds. 
Abraham Hicks taught us that. 

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So what the fuck? 
I worried about what watch I 

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00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,280
have on in the moment or What 
Car am I driving? 

259
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I'm 6 foot two. 
I can't even fit in a sports 

260
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car, you know what I mean? 
I've put my knees up to the 

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front. 
So it's like at the end of the 

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day, those things are nice. 
If you have zeros in your bank 

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account, great, purchase those 
things. 

264
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At the end of the day, that's 
not what I live for. 

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I'm not concerned about what 
vehicle I have the same vehicle 

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I've had for five years, but I 
never have any dead and 

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00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,280
everything's paid off. 
I don't have to worry about 

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these things because I'm not 
worried about status. 

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What is it recognizing? 
And then this is where I like 

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00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,560
the stoic mentality is I'm going
to die. 

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00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:29,800
There's no way around, there's 
no way I'm going to go around 

272
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,400
that. 
But Marcus Aurelius talked about

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00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,480
that. 
Like, imagine your death and 

274
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,640
what that looks like. 
So when you begin to imagine 

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your death, what becomes 
important, your family, your 

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00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,480
children is leaving a legacy. 
What does that look like? 

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00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,840
Why would I even get your 
podcast? 

278
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,400
You know, we're not getting 
paid. 

279
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,240
I, we both of us get paid. 
We're both successful. 

280
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,040
So our time is worth a lot of 
money. 

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00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,400
An hour of your time, an hour my
time is worth a lot of fucking 

282
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,120
money. 
And all I'm doing this is 

283
00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,360
because this goes out forever. 
My children are going to be able

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00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,360
to listen to this when I'm gone,
my loved one, everybody that I 

285
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,880
know, and I'm leaving a legacy. 
And also there are some of you 

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00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,320
that DM us saying how the 
podcast is changing your life. 

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00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,000
And that's what it means to me. 
That's the status I want. 

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00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,680
That's the success. 
That's the security I want was 

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00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,680
to leave a legacy. 
Yeah. 

290
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,320
And I know this third pillar on 
emotions, the lotions don't kill

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00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,200
you, but running from the mic, 
you know, So I want to get into 

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00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,400
pillar 4, the last pillar, and 
that's environmental discipline 

293
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,880
and ruthlessly eliminating 
triggers and consciously 

294
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:37,000
choosing your relationships and 
then creating systems that make 

295
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,800
good choices automatic and bad 
choices harder. 

296
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,800
Why do you still have your 
dealer or plugs number in your 

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00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,120
phone, Junior? 
I'm serious about recovery. 

298
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,560
If you still have that in there.
What and how simple? 

299
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,800
How long does it take to delete 
those fucking numbers out of 

300
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,280
your phone? 
30 seconds, I guess. 

301
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,320
Why haven't you done that? 
That's environmental discipline.

302
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,160
Yeah. 
Discipline. 

303
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:02,840
Yes. 
Yeah, that's so good. 

304
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,600
Another way to say it is your 
environment is stronger than 

305
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:11,000
your willpower every time. 
So in Stanford, if you look at 

306
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,160
the Stanford study where they 
had this was like an old study a

307
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,440
long time ago where they had 
people being prison guards and 

308
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:22,440
people be prisoners. 
And then this shows you your 

309
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,720
environment is strawberry than 
your willpower every time. 

310
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,360
What had happened was they made 
people pretend like they were in

311
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,520
like it looked like a prison, 
but they just pretending to be 

312
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,440
prisoners and prison guards. 
After about a week, it got 

313
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,240
pretty serious and so then the 
prisoner started trying to 

314
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,120
revolve to get the prison 
guards. 

315
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,800
The prisoner guards had to clamp
down more and more and they were

316
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,080
being abusive. 
It just turned into this 

317
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,840
terrific environment. 
So then on the study, they 

318
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,920
decided to switch everybody the 
next week. 

319
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,160
So get all hell broke loose then
'cause there's fuck these prison

320
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,280
guards. 
I'm going to take, they're 

321
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,360
prisoners now, so I'm going to 
get my revenge. 

322
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,840
This is why we have to be 
ruthless on eliminating these 

323
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:07,040
triggers by choosing good 
relationships, creating systems,

324
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,119
you know, and making these 
choices because, and this is 

325
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:14,119
what nobody tells you. 
And I believe every time you 

326
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,880
choose discipline over impulse, 
you literally, we said this 

327
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,640
earlier and it's a study, you 
literally are growing new neuro 

328
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,040
pathways. 
So what does this mean? 

329
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,359
This is going to be 
controversial to help. 

330
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,920
Everybody listens to this. 
You're not managing a disease, 

331
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:34,240
you're building a new brain. 
And the beautiful thing is it 

332
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,800
gets easier. 
And I want you to talk on this. 

333
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,880
Discipline builds on itself. 
The more you practice, the 

334
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,200
stronger it gets. 
It's like a muscle. 

335
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,080
It's use or lose it. 
I want to kind of get into 

336
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,920
discipline destroyers and three 
of them real clear. 

337
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,800
I want you to comment on each of
these. 

338
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,280
I think destroyer #1, 
discipline, destroyer #1 is 

339
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,440
this. 
And you hear of this in recovery

340
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:59,000
circles one day at a time. 
The phrase is awesome and it's 

341
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,280
supposed to be our presence. 
It's supposed to be about 

342
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,240
focusing on what you can control
today and not being overwhelmed 

343
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:12,080
by the enormity of forever, but 
end up using this one day at a 

344
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,720
time where somewhere along the 
way it becomes an excuse for not

345
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,040
planning. 
It becomes an excuse for not 

346
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,840
building long term discipline. 
It becomes an excuse. 

347
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,200
You're taking responsibility for
your future. 

348
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,760
And a lot of times it's, I don't
have to be disciplined about my 

349
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,840
future 'cause I'm just taking it
one day at a time. 

350
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,960
I don't need to have systems or 
structure or plan for next week,

351
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,560
tomorrow break, 'cause I'm just 
taking it, just trying to do it 

352
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,120
now. 
Do you see what I'm saying? 

353
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:42,000
Instead of understanding one day
at a time is the present moment 

354
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,840
or avoiding light destroyer #2 
the powerless programming. 

355
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,960
A lot of programs, they'll say 
that your power was over alcohol

356
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,080
and somehow because you're a 
powerless over alcohol, but 

357
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,200
somehow it gets twisted into I'm
powerless over everything. 

358
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,480
That's not what it means when it
says you're powerless over 

359
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,760
alcohol. 
Yes, you are powerless over the 

360
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,440
fact that you have addiction. 
You're powerless over that, but 

361
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,520
you're not powerless over what 
you do about it. 

362
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,480
You won't control whether you're
an addict, but you can 

363
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:18,120
absolutely control whether 
you're a using addict or not. 

364
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,320
There's a huge difference 
between accepting that you have 

365
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,360
a condition and expecting that 
you're helpless to change your 

366
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:27,560
life, if that makes sense. 
I want to kind of get into 

367
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,480
destroyer #3 this will be our 
last one, and we'll close in 

368
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,400
this one. 
And this is a sensitive one, but

369
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,960
it's this when understanding 
becomes enabling, when your 

370
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:42,040
family or your group becomes 
more invested in your victim 

371
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,760
story than your victory story. 
And I see this all the time, 

372
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,360
people who've been going to the 
same meetings for years, telling

373
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,400
the same stories, getting the 
same sympathy, making the same 

374
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,000
excuses. 
They're never growing, never 

375
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,640
changing. 
But growth requires having the 

376
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:03,160
comfort of being understood for 
your problems and then moving 

377
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:07,440
into the discomfort of being 
responsible for your solutions. 

378
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,320
The question is of whether you 
can recover. 

379
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:14,400
We talked to you today about 
neuroscience, and science has 

380
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,840
answered that you absolutely 
can't. 

381
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,280
And we're living examples of it.
The question is whether you're 

382
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,680
willing to do what it takes to 
recover what it actually 

383
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,440
requires. 
And that's becoming the most 

384
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:29,160
disciplined version of yourself.
You have to, as an addict's 

385
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,960
brain, we want to look for 
shortcuts. 

386
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,440
We want to wait for motivation, 
like you said earlier, and then 

387
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,680
or else you want to play the 
victim and expect someone else 

388
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,560
to save us. 
Those are all excuses. 

389
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,160
Those are all us staying 
comfortable in our dysfunction. 

390
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,360
And I, I want to encourage 
everyone that I'm pass it over 

391
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:52,120
to you for last comments, 
Dwayne, is that we need to start

392
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,840
building discipline and we need 
to start today. 

393
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,720
And we can start with one small 
choice and let it compound. 

394
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,720
You don't go to the gym and pick
up the 45 LB weights and start 

395
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,200
doing curls. 
You could do those curls in a 

396
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,160
year or two. 
You start with the 10 lbs or the

397
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,080
5 lbs, whatever you need to do 
to start building that muscle 

398
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,720
bowl. 
And discipline is the bridge 

399
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,880
between where you are and where 
you want to be. 

400
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,240
And we've given you the 
blueprint today. 

401
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,600
So now it's your choice to build
the bridge. 

402
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:20,880
Thank you.