1 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,040 Dwayne. Big J. 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,800 What is going on? What's up man? 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,120 Just got back from the gym. Yep. 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,720 Did our you? I mean, you lift. 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,560 What time do you lift at 7:00? 7:00 AM? 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,440 Yeah, 7:00 AM is my six hour, 6 days a week. 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,520 That's crazy booked for me. I'm going to take an hour out of 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,640 the day for me and then the rest of the day I'm going to serve. 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,120 And then you have six or more clients a day on top of you 10 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,880 lifting 88 clients. So that's eight straight hours 11 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:37,120 of of clients at the gym on top of your hour working out. 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,040 Yeah. So it's 9 hour days at the gym. 13 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,440 Usually 9-10 hour days at the gym. 14 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,240 Yeah, and sometimes it's a little less, but. 15 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,440 Yeah, and you have clients start at like 5:00 AM and it's crazy, 16 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,360 bro. That's a lot of being busy. 17 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:52,080 The hard part about getting to complain about that is I make my 18 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,040 own schedule. Yes, yeah. 19 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,640 Yeah, that's funny. I signed up for that. 20 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,120 I was like, yeah, I own my own business and I chose to work at 21 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,560 5:00 AM. So let me complain about the the 22 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,240 choice I made. Yeah, Benjamin Franklin has that 23 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,960 quote for addicts that I always love. 24 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,800 I mean, he was an addict because they said that he just would 25 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,800 like go to whore houses all the time and be drunk and but I 26 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,360 mean, women was his addiction. But he said, and I don't mind, 27 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,040 is a devil's workshop. So when you get idle and you 28 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,800 have no purpose and you're not, you're just reacting and just 29 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,560 kind of or you're bored. Like the devil's workshop starts 30 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,840 kicking in for an addict when you're bored. 31 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,080 Like, I think being bored is probably the worst thing an 32 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,840 addict could experience. Absolutely. 33 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,480 'Cause it's it just starts running that loop, that 34 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,680 obsessive loop. My mind is not a safe place to 35 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,280 be, especially if I'm bored and I don't know what to do. 36 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,360 Another nice prompt for me is always do well. 37 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,760 Do you know who gets bored? Boring people. 38 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,120 Poor people too. Boring people, boring people, 39 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:02,560 boring people get bored. So part of that is just my my 40 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,240 cognition. It's like I can't think of 41 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,720 enough things to do. Yeah, I was watching Joe Rogan 42 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,759 had Elon Musk on a couple days ago. 43 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,360 And just Elon Musk's schedule's insane. 44 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,880 Like he's just like limited by having to sleep. 45 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,640 Like he's like he goes, I just work seven days a week. 46 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:19,960 That's what I do. That's who I am. 47 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,000 This is I'm eccentric. I know this isn't for everyone, 48 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:28,000 but I like to work so 12/15/20 hours sometimes not sleeping, 49 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,640 working through the night because he was talking about, he 50 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:33,520 goes, do you know how hard it is to do manufacturing? 51 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,320 He goes, it's easy to do a prototype of something like make 52 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,000 a car, make a cyber truck or whatever, but he goes, now 53 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,240 you've got to like get supply chain together. 54 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,320 You got to get it cheap and then you got to find all this places 55 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,360 and then you have to scale it in a factory. 56 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,120 Once you get all the parts together and you got to get the 57 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,960 people and the machines working, right, he goes, manufacturing is 58 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,440 like, he goes, Henry Ford was an absolute genius. 59 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,280 He was talking about that, But he was saying he's like, I am, 60 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,480 you know, like, I mean, he's basically what we would call a 61 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,640 workaholic, but he's the richest man in the world, work, money 62 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,800 and and as an addict, if you're not working, you don't have a 63 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,280 purpose. Good point. 64 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,320 Very good. Point I think. 65 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,680 I think working out and working are probably the two best things 66 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,240 that you can do. Like go get a job, even if it's 67 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,160 at McDonald's. Swallow your pride, go make some 68 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,240 fries. I'd love it if I had to I would. 69 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,640 I would I would not think twice if I was desperate down and out. 70 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,920 I it would not bother me in the least bit to go get a job at 71 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,600 McDonald's. I I just feel like I'm not. 72 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,680 I don't think that I wouldn't be afraid or have like. 73 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,200 Pride. Pride. 74 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,080 I just don't think I would be there now in my life because 75 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,960 it's like, this is what I need to do. 76 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,880 Yes, like I've I've done it where I've been sitting on the 77 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,760 couch feeling sorry myself and that doesn't work. 78 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,800 I think that's important to. You've done that with. 79 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,560 Cocaine in your system? You've had, but you've done the 80 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:04,720 appropriate work and lived the opposite existence to know 81 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,080 that's a spiral downward. Yes, yes. 82 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,200 The the idle, the idle hands the board the nothing to do, the 83 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,600 zero purpose. You try and move through the 84 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,160 world without any purpose and tell me how that goes for you. 85 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,800 It's like go get the razor blades. 86 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,400 Yeah, that's what it's like. I don't want to go through the 87 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,400 world without a purpose. One of our one of the 88 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,440 psychologist we love to listen to Jordan Peterson. 89 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,000 I I was listening to recently and he was discussing Sisyphus, 90 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:40,400 the guy the Greek. Yeah, that's just pulling the. 91 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:44,160 The guy that pushes the rock up the hill, pushes this huge stone 92 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,160 up the hill and you know how many times have you heard. 93 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,640 Oh well it's it's hard. And just when you get to, you 94 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,080 think you're going to get to the top. 95 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:57,000 You have to start over again or always 2 steps forward, one step 96 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:04,880 back and it was, it was Jordan that said, well, a nice helpful 97 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:09,440 perspective when it comes to Sisyphus is to view him as 98 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,920 happy. He wants to push the rock up the 99 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,920 hill. He's not so mad about it, 100 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,400 rolling back down to the bottom and having to start over. 101 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,720 He has something to do. He has a purpose. 102 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,680 And that's a better perspective for me. 103 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,400 That's a better personal life lesson for me in regards to 104 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,240 work, in regards to working out at the gym, in regards to I have 105 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,600 zero purpose in life. It's like that's not actually 106 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,960 true. Go find a load you can carry and 107 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,840 carry it to the top. Do it and then do it again. 108 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,000 Get up the next day. Do it again. 109 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:44,920 Do it again. Do. 110 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,920 It again go. Go to work again and it's most 111 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,080 people want to complain about that type of existence. 112 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:55,240 But when I shoulder responsibility, I find purpose. 113 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,720 I find a meaning. It's no longer get the razor 114 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,600 blades. Yes, it's like, no, I have a 115 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,720 place to be. And then, God willing, that 116 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:08,760 perspective can evolve and maybe I get to carry the spirit of 117 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:13,720 service with me in my workplace. It's like, how can I be of 118 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,760 service today? Who can I help today? 119 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:21,760 Very useful tool for us in recovery is God used me today, 120 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,560 Yes. God make me of use today. 121 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,280 God put me where you want me to be today. 122 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,240 Those are those are prayers that I take with me often and 123 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,360 obviously it's out of experience. 124 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,320 I didn't. I didn't know this when I 125 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,320 started a recovery program, but through experience I learned 126 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:44,040 being of service to others is the greatest form of existence 127 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:49,440 on planet Earth 100%. I feel electric when I can give 128 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:53,360 of myself and help someone else. With no conditions tied. 129 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,840 Is that yes, Yeah, that's the hard part. 130 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:55,920 We. Were talking about that earlier 131 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:00,160 or recognition like me trying to do the the me trying to do it 132 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:04,440 without conditions or or me being a victim like look what I 133 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,720 did, I need, AI need. And this is the narcissistic 134 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,640 side of an an addict. Yes. 135 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,480 Where I need to do something and then I need the birthday cake 136 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,920 and the candles blown out and the song sung to me. 137 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,680 Correct. And I want everybody looking at 138 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,280 me. Even though I did something 139 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,600 minimal, I still need all the praise. 140 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,400 Yeah. And you see this in relation 141 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,040 when an addict gets in a relationship. 142 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,120 Because it's like, in order for me to feel good, I need you to 143 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,280 tell me how awesome I am. Yes, yes. 144 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,360 I was talking with my wife the other night and I was like, did 145 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,880 you know I buy all the laundry detergent? 146 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,920 And she was like, yeah, I buy all the diapers. 147 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,880 Yeah, exactly. I was like, oh, good point. 148 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,280 Well, I forgot about the diapers. 149 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,920 I don't know and I change them. I deal with shit. 150 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,720 It's way more you. Just buy the But but who? 151 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,720 Who uses the laundry detergent? Oh, I do. 152 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,400 Well, it's the same. I mean it's the same exact I 153 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,120 get. Into that. 154 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:01,000 That's my ego. And, and I think today's topic, 155 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,520 it's perfect with you using the rock. 156 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,640 Why is he happening? Why? 157 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,840 Why is what you're appearing as seeing something that's 158 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,160 horrible? Yeah, why? 159 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,440 Why this You Why this conditioning? 160 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,160 Especially in the new world where everything is easy and 161 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,440 gifted to me. And you know what? 162 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,160 You don't have to work for that. We'll send you a check. 163 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:29,400 Anyways, in the new world, why this perspective of negativity 164 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,640 have to go to work. Why this perspective of a It's a 165 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,280 grudge. It's I do this, but I do it 166 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,480 begrudgingly. It's not what I really want to 167 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,320 do. It's like maybe this is a 168 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,600 stepping stone to get to where I want to be 100%. 169 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,720 I used to work at a restaurant from 3:00 PM in the afternoon to 170 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,720 3:00 AM in the morning, and I did that for four years 171 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:54,920 straight. And it's definitely not for 172 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,560 everybody. It was something I was willing 173 00:08:57,560 --> 00:09:00,080 to shoulder. It was a boulder I was willing 174 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,120 to push because I used it as a stepping stone to get where I am 175 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,360 today. Yeah, I mean. 176 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,400 You were able to. I built two businesses. 177 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,280 Off of. Off of. 178 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,840 That type of schedule, yeah. Millions of dollars worth. 179 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:14,760 And human beings are the only creatures on planet Earth that 180 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,200 can sacrifice the present in turn for the future. 181 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,280 I'm willing to sacrifice the present, whatever's going on in 182 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,280 the moment. My, my, whatever my desire to be 183 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:29,240 free and eat cakes in order to benefit future Dwayne later. 184 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,680 Yeah. And and this is what we're 185 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,560 talking about today is awakening awareness, so that you awaken 186 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,000 that awareness by understanding that. 187 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,640 So when you pull back and you look at that myth that Jordan 188 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:44,440 Peterson talks about that you were talking about an addict is 189 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,480 going to look at it are are probably pretty much a victim 190 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,480 mentality. Human regardless of who you are 191 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,440 is going to look at and they're going to focus on the rock, the 192 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,200 incline and how much work it takes to push it up. 193 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:00,920 Very good. And then they're going to turn 194 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:05,960 around and look at that and see who's watching me as I'm pushing 195 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,920 the rock up. So you have that part. 196 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,480 Then as I'm pushing the rock up, I need to stop with the people 197 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,520 that are watching me and tell them how hard I'm. 198 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:18,640 It is appaired to being happy where you have an awakening. 199 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,400 Awareness is has nothing to do with the incline, has nothing to 200 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:26,640 do with the rock. All of this is a spiritual the 201 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:31,400 work that I'm doing is just a spiritual metaphor of who I can 202 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,280 become. Nice if that makes. 203 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,400 Sense. That makes perfect sense. 204 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,440 I love that, Yeah. It's not real. 205 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:38,840 Do you want? The Rock's not real. 206 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,120 The Incline's not real. Well, I love this metaphor of 207 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,320 who I can become. Do you want to be, continue to 208 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,120 be the victim of your oppressive job? 209 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,680 Do you want to continue to be the victim of. 210 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,560 Well, it's never been easy for me. 211 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:55,040 Do you want to be the is that your role in this world? 212 00:10:55,440 --> 00:11:00,480 Unconscious victim Tell me how things work out for you if 213 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,280 you're the unconscious victim. That's what the world is 214 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,800 praising. Absolutely, absolutely. 215 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,600 The news media and everybody else is like, we want you to be 216 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,680 unconscious and we want you to be a victim. 217 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,680 Very good. Because if you're an unconscious 218 00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,320 victim, what are you, a slave? A slave. 219 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,960 A slave to work. You're a slave to the 220 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,400 government, both sides. Very good Republican, Democrat. 221 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:23,640 You're a slave to like Canada is just coming out with the rule 222 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,360 where they're they're going to filter podcasts like one of our 223 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,680 podcast in Canada with our Canadian listeners. 224 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:33,040 Hey all you guys, we get a lot of people from Canada listening, 225 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,200 so there must be a lot of addicts in Canada. 226 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,440 You know who it is. This is so funny, guys. 227 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,440 You guys are going to love this. And. 228 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,640 And I'm from there. I'm. 229 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:44,040 I'm not from there. My lineage says I'm part Irish 230 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,560 and part English. So. 231 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,440 But it's funny when you look USA is number one for our listeners. 232 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,920 Who do you think #2 is? India. 233 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,040 Ireland because. They're drinking all the time. 234 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,080 Recovered addicts froze. I love you guys at. 235 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,680 Least you guys are trying, you're trying. 236 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,320 So awesome. They listen to the podcast in 237 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,360 the bar. And in Ireland, if Nico is 238 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,280 listening to this, we'd love to come visit your shop, the watch 239 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,840 shop. Oh please, Pride and Pinion. 240 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,600 We we have like a thing with watches so we that. 241 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,480 Would be awesome. Yeah, but he's in Ireland. 242 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,760 There I think in Dublin or something. 243 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,840 But it's it's so, it's so wild when you look at this and and 244 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,880 this kind of the oxymoron of awakening, our awareness, we 245 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,720 awaken our awareness and this is number one in our literature is 246 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,760 to understand and admit our limitations. 247 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,640 Now this sounds counter intuitive to what the self help 248 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,560 is out there. The self help is out there is 249 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:41,040 like be like Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, you're 250 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,480 unlimited. But that's not what we're 251 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,960 talking about here. Whenever you look at 252 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:50,600 understanding and emitting our limitations, it's you up on the 253 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,360 rock, pushing that rock and then understanding. 254 00:12:54,600 --> 00:13:00,000 I can't do this by myself, but there's something that can do. 255 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,720 This starts with the G and ends with the D, and it's three 256 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:08,600 letter God. I need God to step in and 'cause 257 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,720 he can push the rock up. No problem, very powerful. 258 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,640 Very powerful. But when you talk, I mean, 259 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:18,480 'cause you've done this for 13 years, that first step in 260 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,160 admitting their limitations, what does that look like for an 261 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,760 addict? Because you've articulated this 262 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,800 really well multiple times. Often it's extremely painful, 263 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:32,560 like the price to enter. We say it costs nothing to to 264 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:37,000 belong. But the price you pay to need to 265 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:41,440 recover is very high. And what I had to pay was years 266 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:46,680 and years of selfish destruction. 267 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,400 I was destroying my life. I was destroying the life of 268 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,240 people around me. And as a result of causing that 269 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:57,440 harm my existence suffered. I it was it was it was 270 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:04,280 unbearable. And it's difficult to admit that 271 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,280 I can't do this alone. That I'm I'm me. 272 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,360 Dwayne left his own devices. He's not enough. 273 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,880 Especially when it comes to my addiction. 274 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,800 When it comes to now, I need this thing in order to be OK, 275 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:24,400 and it's very paradoxical. It's backwards to the way my 276 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,440 mind normally works. My mind normally says work 277 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,560 harder and figure this out on. Your own. 278 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,360 You can do this. You can do this. 279 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,280 Only quitters quit. Don't be a fucking. 280 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,840 I'm an island. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 281 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,960 I'll figure it out. I'll push harder, work harder. 282 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,440 So you're pushing the rock up with anger. 283 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,320 You're pushing the rock up with self deceit. 284 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,920 Yes, yes, you're pushing the rock up selfishly. 285 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,600 It's like. Fuck you while you're pushing 286 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,520 the rock my. Feet are are are scratching the 287 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,800 mud behind me and I'm giving it all my might and and I'm about 288 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:58,120 to blow a gasket in order to get this rock to the top and I can't 289 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,840 and I can't. So you got to get a little 290 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,800 broken. You actually have to get very 291 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,160 broken in order to admit complete defeat. 292 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:12,440 And that admitting complete defeat just looks like, OK, I 293 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,800 can't deal with this. So the boulder has, you have to 294 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,920 almost get halfway there, Then the boulder has to run over with 295 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:22,160 you, and then it falls back into the pivot that that divot that 296 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,120 it was in. And then it's and then you got 297 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,040 to start all over again with that momentum. 298 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,320 And then it's like, I'm bruised, I'm fucked up, I got a bone 299 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,320 that's like halfway stuck out my leg and I'm going to do this 300 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,760 again. You got to do that a whole bunch 301 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,800 and get that ball to that big heavy concrete ball to roll over 302 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,880 you and fuck you up a bunch of times before you finally say I 303 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,680 can't do this. Very powerful. 304 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,520 That's a hard. Fucking thing to do, entering, 305 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,960 recovery. And this is something that we're 306 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,680 building a community here online. 307 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,040 You and I have each other. We bounce life topics off of 308 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,240 each other all the time. You're one of my spiritual 309 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,920 giants, like you're a spiritual heavy hitter in my corner. 310 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,120 And we we we have each other's back. 311 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,000 We're like wrestling WWE, like Tag Team One. 312 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,000 Of the One of the beautiful components of having a recovery 313 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,520 program or support group around you is I don't have to push that 314 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,120 rock alone anymore. Yes. 315 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,040 So we start with this admission of limitation. 316 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,400 It doesn't always look like, God, I need help. 317 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,280 Sometimes it just looks like I can't anymore. 318 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,760 Well, for me with you, it's like you coming to me in a spiritual 319 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,400 aspect and it's basically saying you come to me and you're 320 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,040 saying, why are you pushing the rock? 321 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,880 You're struggling so fucking hard, Jason, why don't you just, 322 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,280 why don't you take a break, go have a sip of some coke zero 323 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,600 that you like to drink, and let God push the rock up. 324 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,840 Very good. I mean, that's what that's there 325 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,400 for. That's what you are there for. 326 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,000 You know what I mean? I. 327 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,120 Told two changed my perspective. I told two people that today. 328 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,880 God, you deal with this 'cause I can't. 329 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,720 Yes, I've said that as an affirmation, you know. 330 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,800 God, I need you to deal with this because I can't. 331 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:07,440 When my son was in gestation, we had gone to one of Emma's 332 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,480 doctor's appointments for ultrasound, and he was tracking 333 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:15,640 very small in regards to the amount of how fast he was 334 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,440 supposed to be growing in gestation. 335 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,960 And the doctor said, well, usually when they track that 336 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,599 small, like his brain and his femur, his head and his femur, 337 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,200 that's usually like Down syndrome. 338 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:31,720 And we were just like like devastated his shot to the 339 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,720 heart, you know? And I'm whatever, 12/10/10 years 340 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:40,080 sober at that time. And I had had enough experience 341 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:46,680 and enough exposure to spiritual principles and I just started 342 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,440 laying down that prayer as often as I could. 343 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,400 God you deal with this because I can't. 344 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,080 God, you deal with this because I can't. 345 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:55,160 And I'm very honored and blessed to be connected to such a 346 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,560 powerful woman because she did her work too. 347 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,120 She went to work and started doing meditations in regards to 348 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,320 OK, we're going to grow this little thing inside of us. 349 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,880 And then the next ultrasound he had had a 30% growth whatever 350 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:13,000 leap in however many weeks. And it was it was like this huge 351 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,520 rate of. Growth. 352 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,840 Isn't that amazing though, that you're you saw that spiritual 353 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:21,680 work being done and she did it, and she saw that power, so she 354 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,320 can draw into that anytime she'd be she could be like and and you 355 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,520 as a husband be like babe. Remember when you grew the baby 356 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,400 30? Percent yes, yes, yes, like in 357 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,080 just a few weeks. Those. 358 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,880 Thoughts and God and letting and letting the God consciousness 359 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,640 inside of me, the universal source power inside of me do 360 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,240 that work. That's not my rock to push. 361 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,280 I can't fucking even. I can't move it even if I tried. 362 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,800 There's nothing you could do. I couldn't go in there and 363 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,600 stretch him out like I couldn't do it. 364 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,440 Right, Yeah. I wanted to but I didn't know 365 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,840 there's not you know there's nothing I could do is my hands 366 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,280 were tied and God took care of him. 367 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,800 We had we she gave birth to a very healthy little boy. 368 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,800 He's wild he just went trick or treating and and at the time of 369 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:05,120 his life it was it was insane and and I'm so honored to get to 370 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:09,400 be connected to the type of family where those are some of 371 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,680 the principles we practice. Yeah, you just started them on 372 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:17,720 the candy industrial complex. First, you can eat as much candy 373 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,200 as you can as you want while you're hunting for. 374 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,360 Handy. Because when we get home, it's 375 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,080 going away. That's crazy. 376 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,920 Yeah, I get so addicted to the Reese's cups. 377 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,760 Reese's my favorite. I know those are my. 378 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,960 Favorite. So dealing with our limitations. 379 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:39,280 You know, a nice prompt for me is always God, help me recognize 380 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:44,000 my human limitations. God help me recognize. 381 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,440 So I need to see. I need to be able to see if I'm 382 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,120 unconscious and I'm in my ego. I can't see reality. 383 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,720 I can't really see what's going on. 384 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,920 I'm just, I just keep smashing up against this boulder and I'm 385 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,400 not figuring out how to get help or do something different. 386 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:03,080 So God help me recognize my human limitations. 387 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:06,840 Part of this stuff is I'm in human form, like I can only do 388 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,680 so much. I can only do so much. 389 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,880 And when it comes to my addiction, I definitely was not 390 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,080 enough to stop drinking on my own. 391 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:20,160 That, that, that for you alcohol more than anything probably. 392 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,240 I mean, there were some drugs involved, but that Boulder was 393 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,960 just running you over. Yeah, no matter how much you 394 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,320 tried to push on it, you couldn't push that alcohol 395 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,280 boulder up that. Boulder was hospitalizing. 396 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,040 Me it was. It was. 397 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,200 It was. I was. 398 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,760 Black and blue broken, and I didn't know whose blood was. 399 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,200 On and and you've had to have mentors and people that that 400 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,240 came into your life through programs and stuff like that and 401 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,080 meetings that helped you through that. 402 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,760 But you had to make that decision to say, God, I can't do 403 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,440 this and be honest with yourself. 404 00:20:52,040 --> 00:21:00,720 How hard is it in that first moments to recognize that you 405 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,720 are helpless? I mean, that's got to be a tough 406 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,600 feeling. Most people don't get it. 407 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,160 Most people just die. That's how hard it is. 408 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:16,360 It's so hard to have a a simultaneous break of the ego 409 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:23,280 and then willingness to to to kind of figure out what that is. 410 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:28,640 OK, if my ego cracked open, what's inside what what what, 411 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,600 what can illuminate the situation? 412 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,000 Most people aren't willing to let their ego crack open and 413 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,960 have God's light shine in. They just continue their 414 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,000 destructive behavior to the bitter end. 415 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,800 Yeah, I was watching this horrific video with the guy that 416 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:47,760 got ate by a shark in Egypt here recently and it's horrific. 417 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,080 I mean, it shows, you know, like he's in the water and then it 418 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,040 shows him moving all around, you know, how you'd picture. 419 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,920 And then the sharks like, on them, like. 420 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,960 And there's a point, I would imagine, I mean, I've been close 421 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,600 to death multiple times, been in three helicopter crashes in 422 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,440 Somalia and Bosnia and Haiti and all that. 423 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,440 But there's a point in your head where you have to be like, I'm 424 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,360 dying. I'm dead. 425 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,360 Like, like there's a point in your head where you're like, I'm 426 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,760 going to try to fight the shark, but then after a while you're 427 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,280 like, oh, I see blood everywhere. 428 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:23,360 Half my torso's gone. There has to be that moment 429 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:27,200 where the shark's too big, like I'm fucked and that that's the 430 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,840 shark of the addiction. It's kind of that same like, oh 431 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,560 fuck. Like, it's almost like a death 432 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,440 feeling, I would imagine. It is. 433 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,000 It is a a death of sorts and death. 434 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,080 Is there fear? It's. 435 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,680 A spiritual death. There's always fear. 436 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,400 Because I don't. I'm not. 437 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,920 It's not what I'm used to. I'm not used to surrendering. 438 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,560 I'm not used to giving up. I'm not used to saying I can't 439 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,640 handle this. I'm used to just smashing my 440 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,880 head against the wall and trying to do the same experiment over 441 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,040 again tomorrow. Right. 442 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,240 And. Like you're not going to fight 443 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,440 Jaws. I love the I love the shark 444 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:00,880 analogy. I just saw this Neem the other 445 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,120 day and it was there was a picture of a lion, a polar bear 446 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:07,880 and a gorilla and it says OK, you pick which one, No weapons, 447 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,320 no tools whatsoever. Which? 448 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,400 One, you're fucked. All three. 449 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,880 You're fucked no matter what. And it's that's that's my 450 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:13,680 addiction. Fuck. 451 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:19,560 No matter what I I I partake in the unconscious behavior. 452 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,960 Even if I don't want to, even if I know it's hurting me, I still 453 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,720 partake. Well, you were talking about in 454 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,120 one of our podcasts and it it's in my head all the time. 455 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,400 It's just running against a concrete wall. 456 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,880 Yes, the brick wall running on a brick wall, Yeah. 457 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,240 And I I picture is like a concrete, like, you know those 458 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,240 parking garages and the big concrete walls like go ahead. 459 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,640 Well, I watched, I don't know why my Instagram is giving me 460 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,280 these horrific videos, but maybe because I'm watching them. 461 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,040 I don't even like watching them because it makes me feel gross. 462 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:57,040 But there was a guy in a one of those wing suits which most of 463 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,840 those people die. Yeah, the squirrel. 464 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,720 Suits the squirrel suits. And he hits a bridge. 465 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,160 He's going 140 miles an hour. Yeah, that's literally what it 466 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,360 sounded like. Just like it sounded horrible, 467 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,560 But it's like because it had its camera on him, you know that 468 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,560 they collected the footage and it's like, there's the bridge 469 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,280 isn't going to move that concrete wall, that brick wall 470 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,960 is not going to move. Yeah, So what type of insanity 471 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,080 do I have to have? Just think. 472 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,000 I'm going to move the brick wall. 473 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,520 It didn't work. Oh, let me try it again. 474 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:30,400 What? What? 475 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,680 What is going on there? What? 476 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,840 Why? Why this? 477 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:39,800 Why this blind, egoic, destructive behavior. 478 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:41,840 That's it. That's my that's my addiction in 479 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,120 a nutshell. I'm blind. 480 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,280 It's all ego and it's fucking me up. 481 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,440 Yeah, it's it's fucking me up so bad I can't even see it's I I 482 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,400 can't even see how bad things are around me. 483 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,680 There's a popular analogy of being the tornado ripping 484 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,080 through everyone's life. You're the tornado ripping 485 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,480 through everyone's life. I love that, Yes. 486 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,960 And then the minute you get a little bit of, you get a little, 487 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,240 little bit of time. You say, man, it's nice that the 488 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,480 wind stopped blowing, but everything else is in shambles. 489 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,280 You look around. And yeah, everything's 490 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:16,640 destroyed, including my family and and that's. 491 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,440 So good bro. That's that's the addict. 492 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,760 The addict is the tornado. So usually something very 493 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,040 traumatic has to happen in order for me to be willing to look, to 494 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,920 look at the path of destruction. And if I'm lucky enough I 495 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:35,680 haven't died before, I take a look and I start to have a 496 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:40,160 little bit of awareness What makes that possible, What part 497 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,720 of me is aware? We've done a lot of podcasts on 498 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,080 this already. We have vertical dimension and 499 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,760 horizontal dimension in the world of form. 500 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,680 That's all. That's all horizontal existence. 501 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,120 That's that's my job. That's anything form based, 502 00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,880 anything tangible, anything I can see. 503 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,760 We would even throw in thought forms in the world of form. 504 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,960 But then there's also a second dimension, vertical dimension, 505 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:08,040 spiritual dimension, an awareness dimension. 506 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,320 I'm having a thought about saying the word dimension. 507 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:16,600 Which part of me is thinking and observing that thought? 508 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,640 So we exist in two planes at the same time? 509 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,040 Vertical dimension, horizontal dimension. 510 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,800 The vertical dimension is what I want to be in the forefront. 511 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:30,760 That's what gives me a chance. That's what might be powerful 512 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:37,920 enough to help me try something different to help me. 513 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,240 OK, we're no longer going to partake in this insane behavior 514 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,480 and run into the wall anymore. We're going to ask for help. 515 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,040 We're going to go call Jason. Because he has a bulldozer, 516 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:50,760 right? Right. 517 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,600 Yeah, and and maybe we have a better chance at conquering this 518 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,800 obstacle together than you alone with your forehead. 519 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,720 Yeah. Or you could call God because he 520 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,960 owns Caterpillar, you know? Very good, very good. 521 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:05,960 He owns all the bulldozers. That's all. 522 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,760 John Deere doesn't matter. We create entire universes. 523 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,480 Do you want to move a wall? No problem. 524 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:10,840 Yeah. Yeah. 525 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,040 Look, we create universes. I'm creating them right now. 526 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:14,920 They're way out there. You can't. 527 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,480 And this is crazy, You know, It's like the law of awakening 528 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,640 or the law of awareness, like the law of gravity. 529 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,880 Like this is how it goes. Like it's a law like. 530 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,120 Universe A law. Yeah. 531 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:29,880 And for me whenever you look at and the vertical horizontal, 532 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,200 there's a lot of mystery school teachings back in the day that 533 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,120 talked about opening the heart chakra. 534 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,320 So I'm gonna get kind of real spiritual here for a second but 535 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,520 and and the Bible talks about it has to come from the heart 1st 536 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,680 and then the mind. So it's it's that's a vertical 537 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:49,560 in the horizontal is having that awareness in that heart. 538 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,240 You know what and what the Bible refers to as a heart. 539 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,880 It's kind of your soul, that soul awareness, you know, where 540 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,360 intuition comes from and all those, and then that thought, 541 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:03,320 The mind, you know, is kind of the spirit, you know, So you 542 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,160 have the soul and the spirit, these two, and and this is a 543 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,680 spiritual aspect of things. But it's kind of like that 544 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,040 awakening comes into the heart and it's that emotional. 545 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,200 And you've experienced that you know with your addiction that 546 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,840 that that emotional awakening that comes through. 547 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:23,320 And then the mind catches on. And then the logical part, the 548 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,720 vertical part comes through. Yeah. 549 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,800 Or is it the horizontal? I want to make sure I'm saying 550 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:28,640 it right. Yeah. 551 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:32,040 The vertical part comes through. And then that begins to lay out 552 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,520 the oh, OK. I've got God. 553 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,160 He's helping me move the rock. OK next rock I need to move with 554 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,720 God's help is get a job. You know, is let me use. 555 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,960 I saw a lady on Instagram and I'm gonna try. 556 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,440 I'm gonna try to get her on the podcast. 557 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,520 She showed her body in her transformation and stuff like 558 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,800 that for years. But I think she's even a 559 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,880 personal trainer or something. But she she's her whole thing is 560 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,400 like addict and being an addict. And then so she like, she shows 561 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,440 her body and like you know how they have those before or after, 562 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,680 like in a bikini or whatever. And then you can see this 563 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,520 transformation every single year since she, you know, since she 564 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,800 said I'm going to use physical to help me and the same as you, 565 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:21,040 you know, So if you're lazy, fat eating shitty food and you're 566 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,240 addicted to like I was like addicted to food or you know, I 567 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:28,800 still face that issues because I use that as a coping mechanism 568 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,040 like you would use alcohol or anything. 569 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:36,680 But if you're lazy, fat, you're a coward, you're a tornado, 570 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,480 you're selfish, you can change all of that. 571 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,680 Yeah, you could change it today. Yes. 572 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,960 If that heart chakra would open up and you would realize who you 573 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:51,840 really are inside and that's the next thing is what is what is 574 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:56,000 our current path and what is the path that lays before us? 575 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,560 Because I could have gone 13 years ago and said hey Dwayne, 576 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,680 you're going to be a multi millionaire. 577 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,080 You're going to have this. You're going to have an amazing 578 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,040 wife, you're going to have amazing kids and you're going to 579 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,520 have, you're going to go to a on a Halloween and not drink. 580 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,280 In fact, you're going to go on a Halloween and you're going to 581 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:10,960 have the most amazing Halloween you've ever had. 582 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,040 No one blacked out, yeah. No one. 583 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,360 There was a lot called involved in it. 584 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,960 So it's like and you didn't need alcohol to have the most amazing 585 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,720 Halloween because you told me that in the gym. 586 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,240 He's like, it's the most amazing Halloween I ever. 587 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,840 Had It's the best Halloween I ever had in my life. 588 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,640 I'm 35 years old and I've never had Halloween that much fun 589 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,040 ever. And if I would have went back 590 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,240 thirteen years ago and been like, hey, you're going to be a 591 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,560 multi millionaire, have a wife and have the best Halloween you 592 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,520 ever had and none of that involves alcohol, you'd have 593 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,760 been bullshit. Listen, who the fuck are you? 594 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:38,680 So. I don't believe you. 595 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:39,960 Yeah, yeah, you. That's what you say. 596 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:44,320 Sorry, I don't believe you. So yes. 597 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,480 Yes, do I. So the path I'm traveling. 598 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,440 Yes, here we go. The path I'm traveling, how do I 599 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,720 get from unconscious victim to creator of my world? 600 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,280 It sounds something like fucking responsibility is what it sounds 601 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,600 like. But that's a huge transformation 602 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,680 to go from unconscious victim. What's wrong with me is you. 603 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:07,680 What's wrong with me is the federal government. 604 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,400 What's wrong with me is. The Democrats or the 605 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,800 Republicans? Yeah, what's wrong with me is 606 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:12,760 Catholic. Church do. 607 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,440 These dying kids, they don't do what I need them to do. 608 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,160 What's wrong with me is you. If only you were different, I 609 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:22,640 would be OK. My mom shouldering 100% 610 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:28,240 responsibility for what's going on in my head is how we start to 611 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:33,080 walk that path from unconscious victim to creator of my world. 612 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,080 What's going on in my head is a lot of judgement. 613 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,160 What's going on in my head is a lot of fear. 614 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:42,480 What's going on in my head is a lot of I want the easy way. 615 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,240 I don't want to work this. I don't want to do that. 616 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,200 I want the easy way. Don't. 617 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:49,040 Don't you know who I am? I I should come first. 618 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:57,840 So tons of selfishness. An appropriate, well practiced 619 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,760 recovery program teaches me spiritual tools to start 620 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:09,160 rewiring to A recognize B. Start rewiring these crazy 621 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,400 thoughts. I have unconscious, selfish, 622 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:18,280 fearful, resentful, judgmental thoughts all day long, and my 623 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:23,120 shitty life is your fucking fault and I don't know how to 624 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,680 take responsibility. It's just a symptom of your 625 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,400 current path. Very good, very good. 626 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:28,600 That's all that is. So start. 627 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,360 You're sick because of this. So to start tapping into that 628 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:35,240 vertical dimension, to start tapping into that power that can 629 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:39,120 solve my problem. Very simple tool to start 630 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,960 rewiring the brain is God help me not judge. 631 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,000 Yes, God help me not judge. How many times do I have to walk 632 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:50,560 down the path and pray? God help me not judge. 633 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,640 God help me not judge. God help me not judge. 634 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,280 I have not reached it yet, so I don't know. 635 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,480 I'm still praying that same prayer and it's been years. 636 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,760 God will leave me in my fear. God will leave me in my fear. 637 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,480 God will leave me in my fear. So those are, those are just two 638 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:11,000 simple little tools I can use as I'm walking this path to go from 639 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,920 unconscious victim to no, no, I'm taking responsibility for 640 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,120 what's going on in my head because I want to be the creator 641 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:21,360 of my world. I'm not the victim of my 642 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,160 surroundings. I'm the creator of my existence. 643 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,800 You know, we've talked a lot. We've we've had many podcasts 644 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:33,080 about tools and there there are countless spiritual tools 645 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:39,840 available to us. Another helpful one is to have a 646 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,040 high aim. It's like, OK, you were dying 647 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:50,560 drunk you were, you were killing yourself with with food and and 648 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,840 upset at what you saw in the mirror all the time 24/7. 649 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,200 I'm not good enough. What's a high? 650 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,040 What's a high? Aim. 651 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,640 Yeah, OK, well, I want to be good enough. 652 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,840 I want to be someone I like when I look in the mirror. 653 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,560 I want to have 19 percent, 18% body fat. 654 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:11,320 How do I start heading in that direction? 655 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,360 Well, it might look like a meal plan. 656 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,760 These these are the six meals I can eat a day. 657 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:24,760 Five meals I can eat a day might look like a cardio format. 658 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,360 Five days a week, I'm going to do 20 minutes of cardio. 659 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,760 Might look like a strength training program. 660 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,239 Three days a week I'm gonna go hit the weights. 661 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:38,639 Might look like doing that over and over and over again. 662 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,800 At least I have a boulder to push. 663 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:45,040 Yeah, I know what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing today. 664 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:49,880 I'm not swimming in chaos. And the boulder was put there by 665 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,679 God, that that boulder you can push. 666 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:54,800 Very good. Yes. 667 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,440 So the. Yeah. 668 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,640 Yeah, go ahead. You go ahead. 669 00:34:57,720 --> 00:35:00,920 No, but I because realizing that our literature says, realizing 670 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,400 that our current path is unsustainable. 671 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,920 So I want people to know the current path right now. 672 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,800 Current path that you're on as an addict right now is you 673 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,240 trying to pull up your own boulder, push up your own 674 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:13,880 boulder. The idol that you've the idols 675 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,520 that you've created. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, 676 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,960 pornography. You're trying to do it on your 677 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,960 own and it's running over you, beating you up constantly, just 678 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,000 using you, beating you up. That's that's one path. 679 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,680 That's one part of the current path or you're like, fuck it. 680 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,600 I'm not going to the, I'm not going to the boulder today. 681 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,440 I'm just going to look at it. It's sitting there, but you're 682 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,760 going to go to the boulder and then you're going to try to do 683 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,160 it again by yourself and that doesn't work. 684 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,440 So sitting around not doing shit when you know you got a boulder 685 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,520 to push up the hill and then looking at the boulder. 686 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,480 See, this is the paradox. People don't understand. 687 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:51,920 They get caught in this loop, the current path loop. 688 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,960 The current path loop is I'm going to do this by myself and 689 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,200 I'm going to push this boulder up and I'm going to work really 690 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,560 hard and do it and then know what fucks in, falls back on me. 691 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:01,800 Fuck it, I relapse. And then I'm going to, well, 692 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,200 fuck it. I'm just going to drink a whole 693 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,920 bunch for months on end or do drugs, or I'm going to cheat on 694 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:08,840 my wife or whatever it is months on end. 695 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,600 Because fuck it, This is what I this is who I am. 696 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,440 So you're not even getting close to the boulder. 697 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,600 But you don't realize when you invite God in, he brings you, 698 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:21,480 gives you a whole different path, like the the boulder and 699 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,160 that hill that you thought that you needed to climb was not the 700 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,000 one. Yes, you can choose a different 701 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,880 boulder there. There's one that's really easy 702 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,640 over here on a whole. You just have to go to this 703 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,000 other path. Nice. 704 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,720 And then there there's there's a physical boulder that's that's 705 00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,680 not that hard to to move. I can actually move it. 706 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,360 Every day I do these things. There's a mental boulder. 707 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,640 I can understand that. Me doing the physical that helps 708 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,640 my mental and I'm not getting as depressed. 709 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,120 Oh, the spiritual boulder. Oh, I need to do these spiritual 710 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,720 practices and affirmations and listen to these podcasts and do 711 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,320 these different things and go to meetings and talk to other 712 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,280 people and serve other people. Oh, spiritual's working. 713 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,560 I can push that boulder. Yeah, yeah, I can do that. 714 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,000 All three of those boulders I can push. 715 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,760 Yeah. This is like a little juggling 716 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:02,800 ball. It's fantastic. 717 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,440 This is about finding my optimal load, Yes, it's about human 718 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,200 beings are load bearing creatures. 719 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:12,200 We're not built for Utopia and cakes. 720 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,240 It's not what we're fucking built for. 721 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:19,360 We're built to carry a load. I'd never felt better in my life 722 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:26,360 than what I had responsibility to show up to show up to it and 723 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:30,360 it unfold well. I I don't feel good when I stay 724 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,600 on the couch and eat cake. No, I don't. 725 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,920 I'm not happy. I'm not happy with how. 726 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,520 I get sleepy, I get tired the. Sugar. 727 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:38,720 It's a. Shitty way to live. 728 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,120 And then I'm watching these shows. 729 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:41,960 I love that you. I love that you say go get a 730 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,560 fucking job, get up and shoulder a load you can handle. 731 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,880 It's about finding the load that's appropriate for you. 732 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,920 That doesn't mean you're going to be the CEO of a downtown New 733 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,360 York law office next week. It'll be unrealistic about. 734 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,360 It but it might mean, OK, well, I got to go start supporting 735 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,880 myself. I could fill out these 736 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,640 applications. I could go to this interview. 737 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,720 I could show up. I could fucking make coffee at a 738 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:09,440 fucking Starbucks. I could do it and use that load 739 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:13,040 that job as a stepping stone to something better and then use 740 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,880 that job as a as a stepping stone to something better. 741 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,960 What's the spirit of the sacrifice I'm bringing to the 742 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:24,320 situation? Do I have a genuine spirit or do 743 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,520 I have the spirit of Cain? Am I saying yes? 744 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:28,840 I don't. I don't want to do any of this. 745 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,840 Well, the work. The work is cool because it 746 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,280 gives you a whole different paradigm. 747 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:37,080 It's like you step into a whole new planet when you step into 748 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,320 that nine to five job or whatever you get at Starbucks. 749 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,400 Let's use. So now you've they said yes, you 750 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,000 can come work. We need people. 751 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,320 You can work at Starbucks. So you get up in the morning at 752 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,880 5:00 AM and you head into Starbucks, you've entered a 753 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,880 whole new dimension that's totally different than you've 754 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,400 ever entered before. And guess what you're going to 755 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,400 learn in that dimension. You're going to serve other 756 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,440 people in that dimension and they're going to pay you for 757 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,720 being there. They're going to pay you for 758 00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:03,000 being on the right path. Very good. 759 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,600 You're going to be on the right path. 760 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,640 Start getting a job is going to put you on though, right? 761 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,040 We just had somebody talk about that to us and they listen to 762 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,560 our podcast and they've gotten 2 jobs, two jobs, Great. 763 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,880 You got three jobs once, but once you relapse. 764 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,920 I'm an addict. I got to do it all or nothing. 765 00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:18,600 Probably get one job. I'm going to get 3. 766 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,240 But get a job. Take that paradigm, that new 767 00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:24,520 paradigm, that new world that you've entered into. 768 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,600 Allow them to pay you and learn. That's the whole process. 769 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,080 You're learning in this. You're learning a new language 770 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,200 in this whole new world. You're stepping into this new 771 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,440 planet. Yes, you're you're you're Han 772 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,680 Solo and you went into this whole new planet and you got to 773 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,920 learn how everything works. Phenomenal. 774 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,320 But if you do it with the spirit of Cain, you're going to be 775 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,600 like, well, fuck this job. Fuck the people I work with. 776 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,040 I'm just, I just work at Starbucks, you know, I'm giving 777 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,240 people coffee. And then I'm then I'm still the 778 00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:51,840 victim. Yeah. 779 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,560 And I'm still the victim. And victims never recover. 780 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,760 Victims never take responsibility for their life. 781 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:03,120 Victims never recover. So we don't want to have the 782 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,880 spirit of king. You got to listen to the last 783 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:05,800 podcast about that. Yeah. 784 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,520 Yeah, that was a great one and it was phenomenal. 785 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:12,000 But that's also my ego. And many times throughout 786 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,960 history, the ego has been associated with Satan. 787 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:17,960 Oh, yeah. That's the part of me that takes 788 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,800 my existence to hell. That's hell on earth. 789 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,920 Fuck this job. I hate being here. 790 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,200 I hate serving people coffee. I hate doing this. 791 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:28,680 I hate. To Well, that's that's Hell on 792 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:29,960 Earth. That's the first time Satan 793 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,320 shows up is in the garden. Exactly what does he tell Eve? 794 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,080 Oh, you'll be like God yourself. Go for it. 795 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,840 Go. For it, you know, he's, he's 796 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,800 been holding back from you. Yeah, he wasn't telling you. 797 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,760 It's he's unfair like he's probably taken like 80% of the 798 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:43,800 cut. You know that job at Starbucks, 799 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,960 You know the guy that's CEO, he's a multi millionaire. 800 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,160 Look at you. You're only making $15.00 an 801 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,760 hour like it's it's that's the lie of Satan. 802 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,960 Very good, very good. He wants you to be that way. 803 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:58,720 And that creates, I get to create my own little hell living 804 00:40:58,720 --> 00:41:00,960 that way. And then I go home and I kick 805 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:06,560 the dog and I curse at my wife and I and I and I and I go get 806 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:10,560 on my porn and then I and I wake up and do it all over again. 807 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,600 And enough of that and I don't want to exist anymore. 808 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:23,200 So the spirit that I'm bringing to the path that I'm walking 809 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,200 helps my awakening. Either I'm going to awaken 810 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,760 spiritually because I have some gratitude in my life, I have 811 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,760 some presence in my life, I have some vertical spiritual 812 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,040 dimension in my life, or I'm going to become more and more 813 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,840 unconscious because I'm spinning my own little hell. 814 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,480 And and that's very specific and I, I love this and I want you to 815 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,560 talk about this. So I get the job at Starbucks. 816 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,600 I go there. What does that look like now on 817 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,920 the new path? Well, it looks like you calling 818 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,920 your bullshit out with the negative attitude that you 819 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:59,440 always had at every other job, calling your victimhood out and 820 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:03,880 putting your What does Jason look like with his best self, 821 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,960 with a smile on his face, serving the employees, serving 822 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,040 Starbucks and serving those customers? 823 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,560 Fantastic. And it I'm going to be my best 824 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:13,880 in doing that. Fantastic. 825 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,400 What does that look like? That looks like? 826 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:18,080 Now you have a whole paradigm. That looks like this spirit of 827 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,960 Abel. And they said Abel walked with 828 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,800 God. That looks like walking with 829 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,360 God. So now I'm walking in the 830 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,120 garden. I'm in the Adam walked with God 831 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,720 too. I'm walking. 832 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,120 I'm in. I'm creating my own heaven. 833 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,920 I'm creating heaven on earth. And it doesn't matter. 834 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,280 This is the best part about this. 835 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,600 If you get further enough down the path and you can buy into 836 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,120 this, fucking buy into this, the job doesn't matter. 837 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,880 It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're 838 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,760 fucking pouring coffee. It doesn't matter if you're 839 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,120 throwing trash for waste management. 840 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,360 It doesn't matter if you're training people in the gym. 841 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,240 What matters is the spirit that I bring to the job. 842 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,360 Do I want to be there? Do I want to be of service? 843 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:02,960 Am I here to help? Am I here to give or am I 844 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,040 spinning? Hell, am I saying all you guys 845 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,360 are against me? I hate having to get up in the 846 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:08,800 morning. I hate having to be. 847 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,480 Here one is selfish, the spirit of Cain. 848 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:13,560 This is selfishness, what you just said. 849 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:18,280 The other is let me practice in small ways not to be selfish. 850 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,200 Oh, I'm going to remember the regulars that come in and I'm 851 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,520 going to purposely write their names down because that causes 852 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,880 me not to think about me and me being a victim. 853 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,400 And they're the enemy, and they're interrupting me when I'm 854 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:33,360 trying to make coffee. But it causes me, I want Frank 855 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,080 to come in because I want to say, hey, how's it going? 856 00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:38,880 Not going to talk about me and be selfish. 857 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,480 I'm going to ask how your day's doing. 858 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,840 Frank. I'm going to pour my spirit and 859 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:48,200 this as as it's just coffee, but it's way more than coffee it 860 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,320 turns into. We talk about spiritual alchemy. 861 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,440 You don't realize the power that you create. 862 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:58,440 Whatever job you have, whether you're, whatever it may be, you 863 00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,560 said trash. Whatever. 864 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:04,880 When you come with an attitude of of service, higher self, it's 865 00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:06,400 God. Like so powerful like it. 866 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,960 It's it's that ego God, the opposite of that in that show 867 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:10,560 we're watching. Yeah, absolutely. 868 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,560 Absolutely. Foundation. 869 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,840 Foundation is killer. You know, when I was working at 870 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,080 a restaurant, that's not a very glamorous job. 871 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,680 Like, I touch people's saliva. I'm throwing trash. 872 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:27,080 I have to clean up after people. I have to clean up the alcohol 873 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,680 spills on me all the time. I I, you know, idiots. 874 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,600 I have to deal with. You deal with people. 875 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:33,880 Bathrooms. It's not the most, it's not the 876 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,760 most glamorous job, but the spirit that I was able to bring 877 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,680 to that job I was. I'm so, so grateful that that 878 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:46,640 crazy restaurant environment I got to use as a practice ground 879 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,880 for these spiritual tools. Can I detach from other people's 880 00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:55,360 unconsciousness, and can I bring my own presence to the 881 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,240 situation? How good does it feel being in 882 00:44:58,240 --> 00:45:01,080 someone's presence? The part of you that's connected 883 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,640 to God, the part of you that is unconditional, the part of you 884 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,920 that is eternal, how good does it feel? 885 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:08,120 Yeah, to experience that, Yeah, it's amazing. 886 00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,960 Yeah, the. Best thing I can give anyone? 887 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:11,960 Well, that's how we. Met and I didn't give it. 888 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,040 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, a lot of years ago. 889 00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,760 And I wasn't perfect at it. And. 890 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:17,800 I was impressed. I was so impressed with the 891 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,400 service, but I was like, what the fuck? 892 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,200 Cuz just my friend and I were coming in there just smoke 893 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:28,080 cigars and it was like 180° from how everybody else. 894 00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,760 But what you've done with your spiritual alchemy in that job. 895 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,560 Yes, Yes, is an average person there. 896 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:36,960 The average. And they had some cute girls 897 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,880 that you'd look at or whatever, you know, waitresses. 898 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:40,640 But you know you're not going to, they're not going to 899 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,320 remember your name. They're not going to remember 900 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:43,920 like you joked around about stuff that. 901 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,320 But the cigars, they're not going to go get the ashtray for 902 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:47,160 you. They're not going to do all the 903 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,240 amazing things that you did, remembering what you drank, 904 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:51,880 remembering names. Which is like, how the fuck do 905 00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,120 you remember my name? You know, all all of those 906 00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:58,400 things you did, you 10X everybody else, income wise. 907 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:02,760 Yeah, I'm not going to mention numbers, but I guarantee you 908 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,760 each and every one of you would be shocked at how much money you 909 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,680 can make in a night. Yeah, they're knocked down some 910 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,400 serious cash. You were making what a doctor 911 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:12,720 makes. But that's because of the 912 00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:15,640 presence I brought to the situation. 913 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,920 I start, I, you know, I started practicing. 914 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,360 God help me out for my presence. God help me out for my presence. 915 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:24,360 And because it feels so good to be in that vibration if it feels 916 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,120 so good to be in that flow of energy. 917 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:29,600 How many $100 Tips? Did you get started throwing 918 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,080 money at me? People started. 919 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:34,000 Throwing money at me. Because it feels so good. 920 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,800 That type of service is unheard of. 921 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,480 I was a paradigm in the industry. 922 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:42,720 Usually you get people who are drunk or high and they forgot 923 00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:46,840 half your fucking order and it's like, well, OK, well let me, 924 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,200 I'll be back. And that's not what I brought to 925 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,360 the table. I brought my very best and. 926 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,560 And you could see it. It was so obvious. 927 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,720 It was not. I got to say, you know, this 928 00:46:55,720 --> 00:46:57,440 didn't happen overnight. This, this. 929 00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,600 I learned this through years of heartache. 930 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,280 And I learned this through years of spinning my own hell. 931 00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,960 And I learned this through years of willingness to continue to 932 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,040 expose myself to spiritual teachings. 933 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:11,960 And those spiritual teachings ripped me up out of that hell, 934 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,200 and they presented me with an alternative type of behavior. 935 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,360 And that alternative type of behavior said go fucking help 936 00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:19,560 other people. Because. 937 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,960 We have service. When you're at that level, like 938 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,640 like you were I saw at that restaurant and you, it's just 939 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,520 very rare to see that. But the second part about that 940 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:38,720 is when you start to act in that abundance mindset, it's amazing 941 00:47:38,720 --> 00:47:41,920 what the universe gives you. Like, you know as well as I do, 942 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,840 if you do that at Starbucks, what you did, you're going to be 943 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:51,000 district manager for two weeks. People can't help but want to 944 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,400 give you more. They're going to give you more. 945 00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:58,040 Like you're going to transform. If you're a garbage collector, 946 00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,000 they're going to be like, I don't know what the Hell's going 947 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,320 on with this guy, but you know, he's too good of a worker, too. 948 00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,680 How valuable are you to the work that you perform? 949 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:10,280 Are you taking all the time? Just don't even think of the 950 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,160 paycheck. Don't think of the money. 951 00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,800 Say, how can I be the best version of myself and serve 952 00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,680 these people? That's the alchemy. 953 00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:18,800 That's such a powerful paradox. That's what you. 954 00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:20,240 Did I stopped and the money came? 955 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:23,960 I stopped focusing on the tip. I didn't prioritize my wallet. 956 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:29,800 I prioritized your experience and paradoxically, I made a shit 957 00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,760 load more money. And you would tell me stories 958 00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,600 when you focused on the tip. Yeah, and it went real bad. 959 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:38,480 It went real bad because I had fear, yes, That you were going 960 00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:39,520 to screw me. Yes. 961 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,280 Fear that you weren't going to give me what I deserve. 962 00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,320 Yeah, credit cards going. To be. 963 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,200 And I was here. I was there for the wrong 964 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:46,720 reason. I was there for me. 965 00:48:46,720 --> 00:48:50,120 I wasn't there to be of service and to provide, to offer my 966 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,960 presence. The other beautiful part of that 967 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:56,320 alchemy is I got like a best friend out of that, like I met 968 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,920 you at a restaurant. Yes, yeah, 100. 969 00:48:57,920 --> 00:48:59,600 Percent. And now, three years later, four 970 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,520 years later, No, it's almost 55. Years later, yeah. 971 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,560 We trained together in the gym. We're doing this. 972 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,000 This is from this. We bounce spiritual ideas off 973 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:08,760 each. Other I wouldn't have. 974 00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:10,440 I mean, how many people were at the. 975 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:14,400 I mean, how many people served there 2025. 976 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,880 Well, and through the years it's like a. 977 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,480 Revolving door, I mean, but I mean it's like I would go there 978 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,880 just for that because when you, I haven't been there since you 979 00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:22,880 left. Yeah, yeah. 980 00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,440 So I mean there's no reason to you know like and and I imagine 981 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:30,520 a lot of people are probably like missing you, you know in 982 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,200 that point, you know, I mean you're you don't want to be 983 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,960 serving at a restaurant while you're a multi millionaire. 984 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,640 I mean, you're sick for your time. 985 00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:39,440 It's not worth it at this point. It. 986 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,000 Was a It was a wonderful stepping stone for me and I'm 987 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,160 extremely grateful to have been in that environment. 988 00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:45,520 And you were saving tons of money. 989 00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,840 You bought real estate one. Of the most successful 990 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,840 environments in town and I'm so grateful for that experience. 991 00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,240 People would be shocked. We're not going to get into 992 00:49:53,240 --> 00:49:55,600 numbers, but people would be shocked if you told them how 993 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,720 much you could make in a night. A doctor probably makes that. 994 00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:01,680 Maybe a surgeon makes that much in a night, you know, like 995 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:05,680 working one shift, like a go. A surgeon goes to the hospital, 996 00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,680 works one shift. That's like what you were doing, 997 00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,520 bro. I know, I know it now, on the 998 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,280 other side of the experience. But I stopped. 999 00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,840 I stopped trying to push the boulder by myself. 1000 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:19,320 Yes, yes. So in a very crazy environment 1001 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:25,960 where unconsciousness is the norm, I started asking, God help 1002 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:30,280 me push that load. And it was not a job. 1003 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,920 Like, I've had a fucking blast. I had a lot of fun. 1004 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,000 I would show up. I would perform. 1005 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,320 I would perform. Well, how can a how can a 1006 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:41,480 alcoholic serve alcohol? Yeah, that's only God. 1007 00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,920 That's, that's it's not me. It's definitely not me. 1008 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:44,720 And I mean, you've. Got it. 1009 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:46,040 All over you. It's splashing on you. 1010 00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,120 That's a miracle, and that's a miracle. 1011 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,200 That's one of the the greatest miracles that is offered to us 1012 00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,880 through recovery. I don't have to be dominated by 1013 00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,720 substance anymore. I don't even have an emotional 1014 00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,640 feeling. I feel nothing. 1015 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,240 It's neutrality in regards to that substance. 1016 00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:05,280 And that substance used to make my stomach do figure eights. 1017 00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,240 I would have panic attacks even being around it. 1018 00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,440 So to go from panic attacks to fill nothing, that's a miracle. 1019 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,440 But that's God, That's the vertical dimension. 1020 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:17,680 That's the world of magic. It's like, how do you articulate 1021 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:18,640 magic? I don't know. 1022 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,040 You need to go fucking experience it for yourself. 1023 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,280 That's how you articulate magic. When you understood, admitted 1024 00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,320 your limitations. God, this is all you. 1025 00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:27,800 I can't do this. God needs to do this. 1026 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,400 You realize that the current path you are on is 1027 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,400 unsustainable. I need a God path. 1028 00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,600 You went on that path and then next and and then we'll we're 1029 00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:37,240 going to because we've already kind of went through these So 1030 00:51:37,240 --> 00:51:40,200 we'll go through these for a SEC of time but exercise and 1031 00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:44,600 self-awareness and mindfulness. So you know for you you use a 1032 00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,480 lot of affirmations. You always tell me and I'm like 1033 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,240 dude, so good and I'll use them too. 1034 00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:53,200 I use a lot of your affirmations, but like for me, 1035 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,800 self-awareness is calling my bullshit out like I do a 1036 00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,360 different way. Like because I'm really big on 1037 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,200 the self-awareness side, it's like I ask myself questions. 1038 00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:05,800 Why are you feeling this way? Like couple meetings ago I was 1039 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,240 like Spirit of Kane all over you, bro. 1040 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,520 Why are you playing victim right now? 1041 00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,720 I'm being so angry at somebody that doesn't even care. 1042 00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,120 They're not even thinking about you right now. 1043 00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,840 You're you're thinking 2 hours before the meeting even hits 1044 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:23,120 that this other person's going to be angry towards you are are 1045 00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:27,640 spiteful and and it's the US versus them and that's how Cain 1046 00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,160 was with God and his brother. He killed his brother for it. 1047 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,840 That anger that jealousy that. And we we did a whole thing on 1048 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,040 that. So I don't want to get into that 1049 00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,960 but for me it's like asking self-awareness questions. 1050 00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:40,400 Why are you feeling this way? Oh it's the spirit of Cain. 1051 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:41,840 OK, call your bullshit out Jason. 1052 00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:45,200 You know, for you, you're more like repeat affirmations. 1053 00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,280 Yeah, you like to prompt. Prayer You like? 1054 00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,440 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like prayer and affirmation. 1055 00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:54,320 The repetition works very well for me. 1056 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:59,280 So I think most important is having a positive for me, for me 1057 00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,480 and my one of my spiritual practices in regards to 1058 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:06,880 mindfulness and presence is just having a positive, a positively 1059 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,880 associated, repetitious behaviour. 1060 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:11,360 And God relieve me of this. Obsession. 1061 00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:12,560 God, relieve me of this obsession. 1062 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,680 I would say that 3000 times a day, minimum. 1063 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:17,720 That's your picture. God relieve me in my obsession. 1064 00:53:17,720 --> 00:53:20,760 When I was trying to, you know, when I was new in in sobriety. 1065 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:27,760 And now it looks like I'm wildly successful because I'm connected 1066 00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,040 to the present moment. Not because of my bank account 1067 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:33,520 and not because of this job, that job, this whatever, but 1068 00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,440 because I'm connected to the present moment. 1069 00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,920 Where does all power exist in the present moment? 1070 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,200 Where does God exist in the present moment? 1071 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:44,280 So what am I really saying when I say I'm wildly successful 1072 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,480 because I'm connected to the present moment? 1073 00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:50,680 The undercurrent of that mantra for me is I want to be connected 1074 00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,560 to God. I want to be connected to 1075 00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:56,040 source, because that makes me useful right now. 1076 00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,360 When I'm useful, my life is above abundant. 1077 00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:03,320 I have there's just this endless wealth that's available for to 1078 00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:04,920 me. I have this endless wealth of 1079 00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:08,400 air to breathe, this endless wealth of podcast microphone to 1080 00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:12,080 speak into this endless wealth of GM equipment to use and 1081 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,160 sunshine on my face. It's it's such a backwards way 1082 00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:16,560 of existence. Conditioning. 1083 00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,360 Yes, yes, we're just there's hot water. 1084 00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:22,160 So much wealth available to me. I'm getting pissed because I 1085 00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:23,680 can't. I have to load the dishwasher. 1086 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,000 I have a fucking. Dishwasher, bro. 1087 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,080 In a few years, you'll have a dishwasher and he'll be wearing 1088 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:31,680 an apron. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 1089 00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:33,760 Oh, that's the dishwasher. That's my shoe. 1090 00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:40,200 He's the he's the chest. And you know that wealth of of, 1091 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,280 of it's there's just so much majesty available to us. 1092 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,240 But I have to be willing to have that perspective and with the 1093 00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:55,080 repetitious affirmations do for me is I I I believe, rewire my 1094 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:59,120 conditioning so that maybe that's my first thought. 1095 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,760 Maybe that's my first thought. My first thought is no longer. 1096 00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,120 Fuck this motherfucker. Yes. 1097 00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,400 Judgment, judgment, judgment, judgment. 1098 00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:10,640 Well, maybe my first thought can be. 1099 00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,240 I'm grateful. I have a load to push that I can 1100 00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:16,240 handle. If that's my first thought, I'm 1101 00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:17,760 doing really well. Well, yeah. 1102 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:18,760 Why am I even thinking about this? 1103 00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:20,480 In the present moment, there's no judgment. 1104 00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:22,040 It doesn't even matter. So in the present moment, 1105 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:25,000 there's no obsession. So, and this is really key and 1106 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,640 we'll close on this and I think it's really good. 1107 00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,400 On our Third Point here, exercise and self-awareness and 1108 00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,760 mindfulness. Notice the word exercise. 1109 00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,960 You have to exercise self-awareness and mindfulness. 1110 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,440 Yeah, mindfulness by pulling yourself in the present moment. 1111 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,040 Self-awareness by doing affirmations. 1112 00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,800 Whatever that practice you use. Maybe you like to stop and read, 1113 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,720 or you like to go for walks and and pray to God what? 1114 00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:51,600 Whatever, that self pulling yourself out of the bullshit. 1115 00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:53,600 Very good. Yeah, and believing in that 1116 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,320 current path that you're on 'cause that current path and you 1117 00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,120 use this one a time, and I love it, The current path I'm on is 1118 00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:00,360 not real. That's not real. 1119 00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,720 It's not real. My obsession is not real. 1120 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,480 That's a prayer. That's a mantra. 1121 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,960 That's a affirmation all the same time. 1122 00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:09,840 And it's a recognition of awareness. 1123 00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:11,800 It's like you're it's it's like what you said. 1124 00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:13,560 You're with your son for Halloween. 1125 00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:19,040 A kid that believes that that Halloween costume is real. 1126 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:22,360 When they walk up to the door, if they believe that's real, it 1127 00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,600 scares the shit out of them. But it's not. 1128 00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,240 So I was Voldemort. But he was what he was like. 1129 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:30,720 I don't care. I'm. 1130 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,360 I'm the prize is the candy. Yeah, fuck all these 1131 00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,040 decorations. I didn't tell you this. 1132 00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:37,880 I was Voldemort for Halloween and I wore a mask. 1133 00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:42,320 It was actually extremely frightening and I did not want 1134 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:48,080 to traumatize my 2 year old. And so I got the mask and I put 1135 00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,720 it on with him. That's cool. 1136 00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:52,800 Yeah, and I said I need you to understand this is dad. 1137 00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,640 And then I put the mask on. I said I need you to understand 1138 00:56:56,080 --> 00:57:00,720 this is not real. And he, he got very afraid and 1139 00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:03,560 he started to cry a little bit. And then I would move the mask 1140 00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:06,160 to the side of my face, to the top of my head, to the to. 1141 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,200 And I said, I need you to say that's not real. 1142 00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:12,200 And I had him say that's not real, that's not real. 1143 00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,560 And then on the scary houses when we were trick or treating, 1144 00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,440 there were witches up and they were glowing on. 1145 00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:22,480 That's the thing. And and and I could see him 1146 00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:25,560 withdraw and I said that's not real. 1147 00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:30,200 And then he would walk over to the door and he he mastered his 1148 00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:31,600 fear. He walked right through it 1149 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,840 because he knew that's not real, that's not real. 1150 00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:38,880 Future events appearing, real. Fear that's not real. 1151 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,240 You know, fear is useful, don't get me wrong. 1152 00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:45,000 But just in regards to my crazy thinking, to my 2 year old 1153 00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:49,480 monkey mind thinking that's not real, that's not real. 1154 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:50,240 That's so. Good. 1155 00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:54,720 The best time Trick or treating because I was able to bring my 1156 00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:58,080 presence to my family and be with them. 1157 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,000 And having a family, especially having kids, young kids is a 1158 00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,000 major responsibility, right? It's very difficult, but that 1159 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:10,360 responsibility gives me purpose and children pay you for your 1160 00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:14,640 time. The way they pay you is you get 1161 00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:18,680 to see the world new again. It was like I had been never 1162 00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:21,480 been trick or treating before. I was like, what the fuck is 1163 00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:22,800 going on? I was like look at all these 1164 00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,120 kids. This is a black and it was 1165 00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:29,000 because they had so much fun and in that present moment I was 1166 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,840 able to see the world through their eyes for a brief, brief 1167 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,440 amount of. Time and then seeing watching 1168 00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:38,040 him overcome that fear. Yeah, through you mentoring and 1169 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,920 you're so awesome, but that that's the same as an addict. 1170 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,360 Yes, yes, absolutely. It's not real. 1171 00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,200 That's not real. It's all fake. 1172 00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:49,360 I need this alcohol to be OK. I need to have this porn. 1173 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,880 In order to be OK, I need to have this cupcake. 1174 00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:53,840 Actually, I'm going to have 12 cupcakes. 1175 00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:56,720 Yeah, then I'll be OK. That's not real. 1176 00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:58,320 And then I obsess. Why? 1177 00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,360 So I eat four of them. There's twelve. 1178 00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,560 I eat four of them. Then I got to go lay down. 1179 00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,440 And while I'm laying down, I'm thinking about the eight that 1180 00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,240 are left. And you're guilty as shit. 1181 00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:09,760 And then I'm like, milk would sound good with that cupcake. 1182 00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:12,880 Yeah, I'm already doing that. So guys, we're done. 1183 00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:15,560 Today's cool. But I do wanna mention one 1184 00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:17,320 thing. The number one thing that you 1185 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:21,480 can do for us with this podcast, if you appreciate this podcast, 1186 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,400 is share it with someone. Yeah, so click that share 1187 00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:29,840 button, Send the links over. If this video helped you help 1188 00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:34,040 someone out with it and everybody's an addict, Yes, and 1189 00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:36,360 everybody could admit something that they obsess over. 1190 00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,120 Yeah, Even if it's addicted to my crazy thinking, yeah. 1191 00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:44,880 Grateful to work, to, to food, to porn, to gambling, all of 1192 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,280 these things. So if you know somebody, just 1193 00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:50,560 say hey and and don't do it. Like, I know you're an addict. 1194 00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:53,360 Here's watch this video. Be like, hey, did this video 1195 00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:55,360 really helped me out? I've been struggling. 1196 00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:57,240 Be honest. Be open about what your 1197 00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:58,920 addiction is. I've been struggling with, you 1198 00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:00,920 know, this, this or this and this. 1199 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,560 This episode helped me out and I just wanted to share it with you 1200 01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,280 because I love you, You know, that's so powerful. 1201 01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,200 You don't realize where somebody could be AT. 1202 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,080 And I know a lot of you have shared comments with us. 1203 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,400 We appreciate that in Ireland. We're we're working for you 1204 01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:14,640 there.