1 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,000 Welcome to the Recovered Attic podcast. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,840 I'm Dwayne Yardman. Frank, That's. 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,080 Jason Rigby And today this is the exciting thing. 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,920 This is what I'm super excited about because we're going to be 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,800 ultra practical. Yes, like these are going to 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,080 give you steps. Like you know, we all, 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:23,200 especially our ego mind loves steps. 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,040 We like degrees. You talked about that last 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,600 podcast. And directions. 10 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,320 And so today we're going to get into part four of our materials, 11 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,920 practical steps, surrender and then part five, we're going to 12 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,600 get into embracing treatment opportunities and community. 13 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,480 So don't tune us out. You cannot do this alone. 14 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,800 And I always like to let people know we're not medical 15 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,680 professionals. No, what we do not all we're 16 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,480 doing is just sharing our story with you guys and being open and 17 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,440 vulnerable and maybe we can be a blessing to you guys and and 18 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,160 help you out that that's what we're here for. 19 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,880 Yes, yes. We don't serve others don't 20 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,380 affiliate with any. Specific religion, medical 21 00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:02,980 practice or recovery group, or just here offering spiritual 22 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,500 tools that have worked for us. And then, God willing, it'll 23 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,180 work for somebody else and help them find their own road to 24 00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,580 recovery. Yeah, I love that. 25 00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:13,100 Let's get into Part 4, Practical Steps to Surrender. 26 00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:18,740 And this first one really fucked me up. 27 00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:22,340 This is the hard one, and this is super. 28 00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:26,280 This is harder than you think. It's going to sound cool, but 29 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,920 it's way harder than you think, because what we view the word as 30 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:34,920 the R word is totally different than than what it is. 31 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,440 It involves trust and all different kind of things. 32 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,960 So let's get into this one first practical step surrender is 33 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,360 allow yourself to rest, Tyrell says. 34 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,720 Understand that it's okay to step away from situations that 35 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,880 you cannot control. And here's the T word with the R 36 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,080 word or the T word, and trust that things will work out as 37 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,990 they should. Allow yourself to rest. 38 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:55,950 What do you think about doing when you when you hear that? 39 00:01:56,190 --> 00:02:00,350 I'm not doing that. I have so much resistance to 40 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:01,710 rest. I'm not going to that treatment 41 00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:05,550 center 2 speeds. I'm all or nothing and I also 42 00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:11,070 have 35 years of conditioning to go, either all or nothing. 43 00:02:11,470 --> 00:02:15,110 So the idea of rest, the idea of take your foot off the gas, the 44 00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:17,190 idea of don't push, push, push. You always push. 45 00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:20,750 Why are you swimming upstream? So I'm a champion swimmer. 46 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,550 That's all I know to do. Of course I'm going to swim 47 00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:26,630 upstream. The idea of rest is against my 48 00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:29,630 natural inclination. I don't wake up like that. 49 00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:34,950 But I also have never had the perspective of, well, in order 50 00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:41,230 to surrender, in order to allow a recovery to enter my life, I 51 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:44,430 need to give myself the opportunity to heal. 52 00:02:46,430 --> 00:02:49,910 And rest is a huge component of that rest, stepping away from 53 00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:52,710 the situations that are. Kick in my ass. 54 00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:56,390 Yeah, And then, you know, I always think of like the story 55 00:02:56,390 --> 00:02:59,270 in the first beginning of the Bible with the creation story 56 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:03,510 where on the 7th day it says God rested. 57 00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:06,150 Even God rested. He built the earth. 58 00:03:06,510 --> 00:03:09,350 He's like I'm built the sky, the waters, the animals. 59 00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:11,550 Here's Adam and Eve. Here's all this. 60 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:15,910 And then the 7th day God rested. Yes, yeah. 61 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:21,580 Do you know the penalty? For not observing the Sabbath. 62 00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:26,180 For not observing rest. The penalty for not observing 63 00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:30,060 the Sabbath is you don't get the Sabbath. 64 00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:33,820 Yeah, you don't get the benefits of rest. 65 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:39,260 You don't get the benefits of unplugging, going into yourself, 66 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:44,420 going into source, going into spirit and connecting to that 67 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:47,180 power. It's just go, go, go, go, go. 68 00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:51,130 I'm guilty of working. Four different jobs at the same 69 00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:55,210 time, thinking I need a certain amount of money in order to be 70 00:03:55,210 --> 00:04:01,970 OK and then put in my my foot to the gas pedal and giving it 71 00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:04,730 everything I got. Yeah, and and I always think of 72 00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:09,050 like a long time ago I had the whoop band WHOOP, and there's so 73 00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:11,930 many different of these bands you can wear ring or rings, all 74 00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:13,810 these. And it was really cool because I 75 00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:16,760 had a recovery part on it. And it was so interesting 76 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,360 because whether I worked out like too hard, like I'd work 77 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,800 out, you know, really hard, and then you wake up in the morning, 78 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,680 or whether you had a shitty night's sleep or whether I went 79 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:30,080 to Vintage, it's a nice bar here that you used to. 80 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,600 We used to see each other there and had cigars and drank a bunch 81 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,280 of beer. I would wake up in the morning 82 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,000 and my recovery would be in the red, like from zero to 100. 83 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,400 It'd be like at 20 something, you know? 84 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,730 And then. It would. 85 00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:45,090 It's like heart rate variability. 86 00:04:45,090 --> 00:04:46,970 It's looking at all these different metrics, you know, 87 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:49,210 your pulse. And then you would rest for that 88 00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:52,330 day, like just relax, chill, maybe just go on a walk, you 89 00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,890 know, take the dogs for a walk or whatever. 90 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,690 And then by about 6:00 or 7:00 PM, you'd look at the recovery 91 00:04:56,690 --> 00:05:00,090 thing and you're in the green, you know, eat some clean food, 92 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:01,610 drink a lot of water, those type of things. 93 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,610 All of those things are important. 94 00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:06,450 They call it in your world, in the fitness world. 95 00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:08,570 They call it active recovery days. 96 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:10,470 Yeah. You know where like you do a 97 00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:13,830 walk or something like that, or if you're if you're sick you 98 00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:18,190 have to recover. So how many years of you being 99 00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:21,190 sick because that's what it is, dis ease. 100 00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:23,910 Yes. What does recovery look like for 101 00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:29,150 you, you know? Stepping away from that dis ease 102 00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,670 is not impossible, but it might seem impossible. 103 00:05:34,590 --> 00:05:38,310 And when I can bring a deep yes to the present moment. 104 00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:43,050 And get in connection with the power that helps me accomplish 105 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:47,890 the seemingly impossible. I have a chance, and the rest 106 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:53,330 component of recovery is I'm just no longer willing to spin 107 00:05:53,330 --> 00:05:59,170 my wills in that crazy insane delusion of this time it's going 108 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,170 to be different, right? This time, it's going to be 109 00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:03,410 different. This time I'm not going to lose 110 00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:05,970 the relationship. This time I'm not going to lose 111 00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,880 my job. This time I'm not going to get 112 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,760 in a fight. It was never any different for 113 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,560 me. I kept trying the same 114 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,000 experiment, expecting different results and getting the same 115 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,920 result each time I asked, got kicked. 116 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,880 So that's the definition of an insanity for an addict. 117 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:26,120 Over and over again I proved to myself that I cannot do this on 118 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,640 my own. My form based power is not 119 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,720 enough. So do you, do you think like? 120 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:36,060 I mean rest can be just being in the present moment. 121 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:37,900 Absolutely. I'm no longer spinning the 122 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,380 wheels of my mind. I was noticing myself the other 123 00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:41,620 night. I'm watching a spiritual 124 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:43,780 podcast. It's going really good. 125 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:47,220 I'm about 10 minutes into it, paying deep attention to it 126 00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:49,900 being in the present moment. Next thing you know, like my 127 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:54,460 phone's doing now is like, I instantly grab my phone, 128 00:06:54,860 --> 00:06:58,260 disconnect from I'm laying in bed watching it. 129 00:06:58,260 --> 00:06:59,980 You know this podcast, Disconnect from the Pocket. 130 00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:01,180 I didn't hear anything they said. 131 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:02,820 And I'm on Instagram. Yeah. 132 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:07,530 You know, And then then 10 minutes later, 15 minutes later, 133 00:07:07,890 --> 00:07:10,490 I get back onto the podcast, watching it, listening. 134 00:07:10,490 --> 00:07:11,850 Oh, that's really good. That's really good. 135 00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:13,370 Oh, I love that. Oh, I needed that. 136 00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:16,250 That one the guy got me. Oh, pick up the phone. 137 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:19,610 Yep. There was no rest, like. 138 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:23,210 And I think for an addict's brain to understand this 139 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:28,090 addiction to thought, this addiction to narcissism, this 140 00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:32,350 addiction to dopamine. Resting is really like you said. 141 00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:34,230 I'm not going to do that. You know, resting is really 142 00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:37,070 hard. Even bringing that over to, you 143 00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:39,030 know, the physical side of things with working out. 144 00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:40,990 Yeah, like you you when you're a bodybuilder. 145 00:07:41,470 --> 00:07:42,950 Yeah, it's like I'm going to work out. 146 00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,790 Didn't you say you secretly worked out the second time or 147 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,310 something? Yeah, during my bodybuilding 148 00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:49,030 shows, my brain said you need to do more. 149 00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:51,790 It doesn't matter what you're holding, I'm just addicted to 150 00:07:51,790 --> 00:07:55,950 more of it. And it was easy for me in early 151 00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:58,950 sobriety to replace my alcoholism with the gym. 152 00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:02,180 Because I could go, I could get the endorphins. 153 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:04,900 And then, you know, it was like, well, we don't just go to the 154 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:08,220 gym. We get on stage like we're going 155 00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,900 to take this body and we're going to have 3% body fat and 156 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,060 you're going to be in the one percentile of the whole globe. 157 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,620 And you're going to do that over and over and over again. 158 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,820 And I used to train. I had a trainer. 159 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,300 I would never, I would never do a show by myself. 160 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:24,620 So I had a trainer and he would tell me, OK, now you're that was 161 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,180 good for today. Now go rest. 162 00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:30,180 Recover the rest of the day, allow your body to heal. 163 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:35,659 But my brain was so busy. My ego had those comparison 164 00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:39,940 thoughts going on, and I was so worried I wasn't going to look 165 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:45,860 as good as I possibly could. I would sneak to a different gym 166 00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:50,100 and work out again just so that he wouldn't catch me, because I 167 00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:52,780 went to the same gym a couple times, twice and he got furious. 168 00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:55,460 And in reality, I was not improving the. 169 00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,970 Condition of my body. I was on such low fuel my body 170 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:05,050 was eating its muscle to try and find the fuel to get me through 171 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:09,410 my second workout. So allowing yourself to rest, 172 00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:12,130 and I think the word here is allow. 173 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,530 Very good. Like so when I when I think of 174 00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:19,570 allow, I'm thinking of what we talked about earlier is the 175 00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:22,290 surrendering apart. You know, like surrendering to 176 00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:24,810 REST. Like trusting. 177 00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:26,730 And they talk about this in the material. 178 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:29,650 Trust the things that will work out as they should. 179 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:36,890 I want to control so I can't rest when I'm paddling the kayak 180 00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:41,570 upstream. I can't if I rest. 181 00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:46,050 Something bad's gonna happen if I rest in this relationship and 182 00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:47,730 I don't try to perform all the time. 183 00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:53,910 Then she's going to leave me very good if I if I don't work 184 00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:56,070 harder than everybody else and make sure that I answer the 185 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:59,830 emails right away and I'm on Slack and my little dot on 186 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,510 slack, there's like a little dot that shows that you're online 187 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:05,110 all the time. So I want everybody to see on 188 00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:08,950 Saturday and Sunday my dots on. So I'm going to make sure I'm 189 00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:10,910 I'm working on Saturdays and today just so. 190 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,630 And then everybody else is having fun and on vacation doing 191 00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,310 their thing. They're not checking Slack, but 192 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:18,430 I'm like if they do. I'll be there. 193 00:10:20,070 --> 00:10:21,550 It's the same mentality. It is. 194 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:27,670 And it's difficult, especially, you know, in our world, well, 195 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,990 work harder, do more. I'm going to show up. 196 00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,950 I'm going to work harder than every single person in that 197 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:34,830 room, right? That's that's a, that's a hero, 198 00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:37,990 that's someone that is idolized. That's, you know, a good thing 199 00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:41,230 in our world today. But it's not good in regards to 200 00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:44,670 my crazy, addictive mind. So it's very paradoxical. 201 00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,250 It's very backwards. Last podcast we were talking 202 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:49,370 about tools that can help us surrender. 203 00:10:49,610 --> 00:10:53,570 One of the nice tools that I try and use if I'm present enough 204 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,570 too, is a a prayer, a few prayers. 205 00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:58,370 One of the prayers is God help me be kind. 206 00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,130 God help me be kind. God help me be kind. 207 00:11:01,610 --> 00:11:04,850 And the undercurrent of that prayer, you know, my daughter 208 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,970 taught me this one when she was four. 209 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,890 We were on the way to school. The undercurrent of that prayer 210 00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:13,090 is, yes, God help me be kind, but help me be kind to myself. 211 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:16,310 Yes, help me be kind to myself when I'm go, go, go. 212 00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:21,030 And I'm working for jobs and I'm chasing the dollar and I'm 213 00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:23,390 prioritizing money over everything else. 214 00:11:23,670 --> 00:11:28,030 My hair was falling out. I was having physical symptoms 215 00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:32,270 from my cortisol levels being through the roof and not 216 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,070 allowing my body to heal and recover. 217 00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,270 And that's in sobriety. That's not what I was doing to 218 00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,590 my body with drugs and alcohol. With drugs and alcohol, my 219 00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:42,070 organs are dying. They are shutting down. 220 00:11:42,430 --> 00:11:44,910 But I I want to clarify something because you know, self 221 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:49,510 pity comes in and all that and I I face that issue when you are 222 00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:54,110 putting in a 6 to 8 hour day or you're going showing up at work 223 00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:56,150 and you're not really working and you're just you know, but 224 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,230 you're there for 8 hours but you're not really doing shit and 225 00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:00,030 then you're like Oh my God, I'm so tired. 226 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:04,510 I work all the time. It's it's to be honest with you 227 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,790 and I'm not being mean here. I'm I'm being loving and kind. 228 00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,660 It's your narcissistic brain telling you that you're 229 00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,260 narcisstic and that you're sacrificed when you really 230 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,260 haven't. I had to catch myself on this 231 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:19,100 like you worked a 12 hour day, but really you're productive 232 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:21,100 about 3 or 4. Very good. 233 00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:23,420 You know what I mean? So don't fool yourself by 234 00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:28,660 thinking cuz I I think work and and and four hour 4, you know, 235 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,780 four jobs is way too much. But I think the best thing that 236 00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:37,860 you can do if you're an addict is to get a mission, a purpose. 237 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:42,180 A clear vision and a goal and head in that direction and 238 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:45,700 almost be obsessive over that. Like in a good way, like in a 239 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,260 positive way. I'm not talking being excessive, 240 00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:49,020 like where you're hurting yourself or whatever. 241 00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:53,380 But there's something about being on mission and on purpose. 242 00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:56,780 Like having a purpose, a solid purpose where if you're just 243 00:12:56,780 --> 00:13:00,340 sitting around watching Netflix and saying I'm resting, I'm 244 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,900 going to smoke weed and just rest. 245 00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,460 You know, the government gives me a check, you know, and I get 246 00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:07,810 free food and all these things. That's not, that's not what 247 00:13:07,810 --> 00:13:09,810 we're talking about when we talk about rest. 248 00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:12,890 If you're doing those things, you need to get off your ass and 249 00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:16,970 get a freaking job, like a JOB and do purpose like you said, 250 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,810 take out the trash. Get busy. 251 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:20,290 Get busy. Go mow some lawns. 252 00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:21,930 Do. Do whatever you can do to get 253 00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:24,450 busy because people fool themselves in America. 254 00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:26,770 And if you're not an American, you listen to this podcast and 255 00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:29,410 you're working 1215 hours. You know, just survive for your 256 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:30,490 family. I get it. 257 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,530 I've been there, done it, got the T-shirt, and you have two. 258 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,200 But you can do way more than you think you can. 259 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,120 Yeah. The God consciousness inside of 260 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,560 me is not capable of getting tired. 261 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,080 Yes. So if I'm coming from that 262 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,760 place, I could work all day. But to come from that place, I 263 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,600 have to have that clear direction. 264 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,280 Yes, I have to have that purpose. 265 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,980 I have to have. Beautiful motive. 266 00:13:54,140 --> 00:13:57,700 But but but your mission and purpose is not working for jobs. 267 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:58,700 No, no. Does that. 268 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:01,420 That's not a pure motive. That that's a pretty selfish, 269 00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:04,460 self-centered motive. So if my motive is pure, if my 270 00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:07,700 motive is provide for my family, If my motive is be the best 271 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,700 individual I can be, If my motive is simultaneously be the 272 00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:14,420 best individual I can be, be the best person I can be for my 273 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,860 family. Be the best person I can be for 274 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:19,220 my community. I'm helping all areas of life 275 00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:22,580 because of my motive. That's a pure motive, and it's 276 00:14:22,780 --> 00:14:24,900 excellent to head in that direction, excellent to give 277 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,500 that everything I got. What you just said is fantastic 278 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,420 advice, especially for someone who's looking for purpose, 279 00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:33,700 someone who's looking for meaning, you know, if I'm stuck 280 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:38,900 on the couch, if it's Netflix 24/7, if it's medical marijuana 281 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:42,580 or whatever it is 24/7, I need this substance to be okay. 282 00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:45,380 And then simultaneously, I'm being told by the government, 283 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:47,300 this is good, this is all good here. 284 00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:48,860 You know what? We'll fund this. 285 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,430 We'll fund your. Lazy delusion. 286 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:55,870 Then you're just eating junk food, sitting on the couch, not 287 00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:58,270 doing shit. I'm still the victim. 288 00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:01,070 Yes, there you go. Of the world around me, I'm 289 00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:04,270 still the victim of whatever government thing. 290 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:07,230 I'm still the victim of whatever oppressive thing I'm still the 291 00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:09,390 victim of. My parents didn't help this 292 00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:10,590 thing. I'm still the victim of my 293 00:15:10,590 --> 00:15:13,230 education. Victims never recover. 294 00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:16,390 I'm going to use a harsh word, but they're slaves. 295 00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:20,230 You're slave to the government. You're a slave to Some people 296 00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:23,110 even are on the tit of their parent. 297 00:15:23,950 --> 00:15:26,470 Whether it's a mom that gets her identity based off of you. 298 00:15:26,470 --> 00:15:29,750 And you're 25 years old and you're still getting money from 299 00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:32,350 your mom. Yeah, and you don't have a job. 300 00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:36,030 Okay, dude, you need a man up and go. 301 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,030 Take some responsibility. You want to help your addiction. 302 00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:41,350 You want to recover? Take some responsibility. 303 00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:42,390 Beautiful. Beautiful. 304 00:15:42,630 --> 00:15:51,430 How do I transcend? The tragedy of being a victim, 305 00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,870 yes. How do I go beyond that? 306 00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:57,350 If victims never recover, how do I go beyond that? 307 00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:00,310 Exactly what you just said. You just nailed it. 308 00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:04,590 Start taking responsibility. But to find rest you need to 309 00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:08,400 find your breaking point. And a lot of people haven't 310 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,160 found that yet. Like go work two jobs and be 311 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,080 like, whoa, whoa whoa, I need to take a rest. 312 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,640 Yeah, it's different for every individual. 313 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,440 That's a good point. Or like, I don't know, my gains 314 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,800 don't happen at the gym, but those last three reps? 315 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,880 Yeah. You know what I mean? 316 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,680 Yeah, yeah. It's tough to get to that 317 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:31,800 threshold of OK, now I'm transforming into something new. 318 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,080 It's definitely a powerful experience. 319 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:40,380 If I'm willing to walk the line, I'm walking the road and seeing 320 00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:44,940 where my threshold is, and it's a fascinating adventure, 321 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:50,180 different for every individual. But the responsibility is what 322 00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:53,500 gets me moving. The responsibility of a job, the 323 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,540 responsibility of a family, the responsibility of I'm going to 324 00:16:56,540 --> 00:16:58,100 be good to myself. You know what? 325 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,180 Actually, I made a commitment to be kind to myself. 326 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,220 What does that look like? Does that look like the couch 327 00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:07,579 and Krispy Kremes or does that look like 8 hours at this 328 00:17:07,579 --> 00:17:11,780 specific job so I can take care of my bills and not feel 329 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,980 worthless? Yeah, the feeling worthless is 330 00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:17,339 just that. Depression, self pity. 331 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:21,220 That's how that's I know because I was that yes, you know, and 332 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:23,180 sometimes I have to battle that still, like that's not real. 333 00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:26,140 But when I get in super self pity mode. 334 00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:28,550 Junk food and Netflix for me. Totally. 335 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:29,750 And I don't want to talk to anybody. 336 00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:30,590 Yeah. Yeah. 337 00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:33,150 And everybody's irritating to me and all I want to do is just 338 00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,470 been watch the show. And enough of that progression, 339 00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:39,270 enough of that behavior becomes my condition response to hard 340 00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:40,470 shit. Yes. 341 00:17:40,510 --> 00:17:42,030 I don't know how to go through hard shit. 342 00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,750 I know how to do Netflix and food. 343 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,350 Yeah, 100%. So that I just it makes it OK. 344 00:17:47,390 --> 00:17:51,270 Or I get my feelings hurt so I have to withdraw as an introvert 345 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,990 and run to some La La Land like a TV show or something. 346 00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:58,470 I like the next part. Because this is going right in 347 00:17:58,470 --> 00:18:03,470 hand with what we're saying. Notice your need to control, so 348 00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:04,750 I'm going to skip to the last part. 349 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,390 It says consider your motivation for control and the reality of 350 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,470 the situation. So noticing our need to control, 351 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,150 let's start, we're going to go backwards here. 352 00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:12,430 Let's we're going to reverse engineer this. 353 00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:15,310 Let's start with the reality of the situation. 354 00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:19,350 Because so many people, especially people with addictive 355 00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:23,350 personalities like myself in yours and me, we don't accept 356 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:24,990 reality. No. 357 00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:27,870 No, I want to manufacture reality. 358 00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:35,390 It's up to what? So a nice analogy or or a nice 359 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:38,110 saying for us is just I'm not, I'm not right sized. 360 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:43,510 I'm either King Duane most important, which is not reality, 361 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,470 or I'm the worst thing that ever existed and everybody just 362 00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:51,950 pisses on me, which is also not reality. 363 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:57,740 So I have no, I have no right sizedness to my to my worldview. 364 00:18:57,740 --> 00:19:00,860 I have no get real. I have no one of one of the a 365 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,820 woman's definition of reality was of humility. 366 00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:05,380 Was great. She said. 367 00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:07,820 Well, just get real, Dwayne. Just get real. 368 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:12,300 Like see reality. And reality is. 369 00:19:12,340 --> 00:19:14,820 I cannot figure out my addiction by myself. 370 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:20,740 I'm lost in my own consciousness and I behave in my ego. 371 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:27,020 And to start taking action to correct those behaviors, it 372 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,700 takes a lot of courage. So how? 373 00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:31,780 Because this is very important. So in the vertical dimension 374 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:34,300 that we put first and you need to listen to our other podcasts 375 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:38,660 to understand that in that vertical dimension, how does our 376 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,660 Higher Self take control? How can we take control with our 377 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:46,820 Higher self and how much power does the Higher Self have to 378 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:49,860 help us? Higher power has all power. 379 00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:53,330 It it, it can help in any situation, in any problem. 380 00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:57,890 I'm walking around 24/7 with the solution to my problem. 381 00:19:58,010 --> 00:20:00,770 Which problem? All problems. 382 00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:06,370 Any problem. The trick or the the journey for 383 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:11,810 us is to allow that to be forefront is a lot to allow 384 00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:17,610 higher power, to allow Spirit to be the part of me. 385 00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:23,790 That views the world to be the part of me that can make. 386 00:20:23,830 --> 00:20:25,750 Can I make a spiritual decision here? 387 00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:28,230 Can I make a decision based on integrity? 388 00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:31,790 Can I make a decision based with in honesty here? 389 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,750 Or am I making a selfish, selfcentered decision because 390 00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:37,030 the world of form is more important? 391 00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:42,350 Is my integrity forefront or is my selfish desire to have more 392 00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:47,470 money or more sex forefront every single decision throughout 393 00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,920 the day? We have opportunities to 394 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:54,320 practice making decisions based on self or making decisions 395 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,360 based on principle. I love that. 396 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,000 So I start making decisions based on principle, and I'm 397 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:04,920 simultaneously rewiring my mind. I'm rebuilding the structure of 398 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,480 my selfish, conditioned, addictive mind. 399 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,560 Am I allowing myself to rest? So change the programming, 400 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,000 change the matrix. Is that a? 401 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:21,880 Is that conducive to my recovery or am I going to get, well, just 402 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,320 1000 miles an hour down the road burning the tires? 403 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,720 I'm never going to get well if that's how hard I'm pushing my 404 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,160 body. Yeah, it was funny. 405 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,000 I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and I we, I always 406 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,120 call out my ego, especially with her because we have a 407 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,400 relationship that way. And I was like, I had an amazing 408 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,320 day. Everything was awesome and I had 409 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,320 20 good things happen. At least 20 great things happen. 410 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,440 And I didn't have to manufacture. 411 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,720 I just had amazing things happen. 412 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:51,750 But I need to focus on the one thing and ruin my emotions, ruin 413 00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:55,390 my attitude, be pissed off at the world because out of 20 414 00:21:55,390 --> 00:22:00,310 great things that happen, yeah, one thing just derailed me and I 415 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:02,750 called it out to her. You know, cuz it's it's great to 416 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:05,590 do that If you have, you know, two spiritual, if you have a 417 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:08,310 partner that's spiritual, then you can just laugh at. 418 00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:10,750 I was laughing at I was like I gotta have that one thing to 419 00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:14,270 just fuck me up. But in the material it says the 420 00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:16,750 reality of the situation and then it says consider your 421 00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:20,590 motivation for control. Yeah, you know, this, this. 422 00:22:21,350 --> 00:22:24,550 Which part of me wants control? Where does that come from? 423 00:22:24,550 --> 00:22:26,750 What's the undercurrent of needing control? 424 00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,190 No, no. The lights need to be facing 425 00:22:28,190 --> 00:22:31,870 this way. You need to be arranged like 426 00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:32,670 this. You need to. 427 00:22:32,670 --> 00:22:35,990 No, no, don't behave like that. That's always my ego. 428 00:22:36,310 --> 00:22:40,040 Yeah, and it I had that way. Because I I was probably too 429 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:44,680 disciplinarian as a father. And I'm older, you know, so, So 430 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:49,120 there was this whole thing that I, my kids are rebellious and I 431 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,120 need to control them and put them on the straight and narrow 432 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:52,840 path. Yeah. 433 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,440 You know, and and so I used Christianity as guilt to kind of 434 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,000 hold over it. At the time, I was, you know, 435 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,040 into that pretty heavily. And I'm saying anything against 436 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,680 it. I used it in a wrong format. 437 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,600 You know, Jesus was all about love and, you know, acceptance. 438 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,460 I was all about. You doing this wrong. 439 00:23:07,540 --> 00:23:10,260 You're doing this wrong. Why are you acting this way? 440 00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:16,260 You know and and so in that moment, what is my motivation 441 00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:19,260 for control? Trying to control my children? 442 00:23:19,460 --> 00:23:21,780 Yes, so difficult. It's such this is such a big 443 00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:23,460 topic, Jason. It's wonderful that we're 444 00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:26,220 addressing this. Every addict has control issues. 445 00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:29,540 I don't care who you are, you're on a you're on a level playing 446 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:33,900 field in regards to this game, my ego. 447 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:41,660 Cannot surrender to the fact that it's not getting what it 448 00:23:41,660 --> 00:23:45,300 wants. So it's easier for my ego to 449 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:50,540 say, well, what's wrong with me instead of my judgment, instead 450 00:23:50,540 --> 00:23:55,140 of my fear, instead of my disillusionment. 451 00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:57,740 I can't see reality. That's not what's wrong. 452 00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:03,060 What's wrong with me is you, your behavior. 453 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,600 Is what's making me feel uncomfortable on the inside. 454 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,640 That's so good and in and and with an understanding of a 455 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,560 spiritual practice and understanding of. 456 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:17,040 I want principle to be forefront in my life, not self to be 457 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,440 forefront in my life with that understanding. 458 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:24,640 That means that's delusional. If I have an unrealistic 459 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,680 expectation that you're going to behave a particular way, and 460 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:32,600 then I'll be OK and I walk through the world that way. 461 00:24:34,130 --> 00:24:36,170 It's miserable. It's miserable to try and 462 00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:40,930 control people, surroundings, places, things they never listen 463 00:24:41,010 --> 00:24:42,890 well, you say. That all the time you you say 464 00:24:42,890 --> 00:24:44,770 you know, if only you were OK, then I would be OK. 465 00:24:44,890 --> 00:24:48,130 It's the second greatest lie any addict ever tells himself. 466 00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:50,570 It's important to realize that this is a lie. 467 00:24:50,930 --> 00:24:55,010 It's important to catch myself in the middle of it with my ULP. 468 00:24:55,770 --> 00:24:58,650 There's a crazy thought. There's a judgmental thought. 469 00:24:58,950 --> 00:25:02,230 Yep, there's a fearful thought. The more and more I can catch 470 00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:05,630 these crazy thoughts, these controlling thoughts, the better 471 00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:10,470 and better I get at rewiring my brain to turn towards a 472 00:25:10,470 --> 00:25:16,030 spiritual solution based on principle rather than based on 473 00:25:16,030 --> 00:25:18,190 self. But what we're really doing is 474 00:25:18,190 --> 00:25:20,950 so powerful, Jason, what we're really doing in that moment, and 475 00:25:20,950 --> 00:25:23,030 you know this, and you do this every, every day. 476 00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:27,430 Is we're taking responsibility for the vibration inside of us. 477 00:25:27,430 --> 00:25:29,550 We're taking responsibility for my vibration. 478 00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:32,910 I'm vibrating at a judgmental level but I want to make it your 479 00:25:32,910 --> 00:25:34,990 fault. I feel low. 480 00:25:34,990 --> 00:25:38,070 I feel it's a low vibration. It doesn't feel good. 481 00:25:38,630 --> 00:25:41,270 But I want to make it my two year old's fault because he's 482 00:25:41,270 --> 00:25:46,990 screaming he's just being 2. And when I can be present and 483 00:25:46,990 --> 00:25:50,510 honor the God consciousness inside of me and if I can catch 484 00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:53,230 the crazy controlling thought and. 485 00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:58,370 Return to a spiritual tool like God help me not judge. 486 00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:02,730 God help me not judge. I can meet that little 2 year 487 00:26:02,730 --> 00:26:05,850 old on a spiritual vibration and it's pure bliss. 488 00:26:06,210 --> 00:26:09,810 Bro, I have this love for this little boy, this little child. 489 00:26:09,810 --> 00:26:10,930 Like a Mini. He's a Mini youth. 490 00:26:10,930 --> 00:26:13,610 He's a totally a mini me, whatever I have, he has. 491 00:26:14,690 --> 00:26:19,410 And in that moment where he's not afraid of my judgment. 492 00:26:20,210 --> 00:26:23,610 And I'm offering my presence instead of offering my judgment. 493 00:26:23,770 --> 00:26:25,850 We can connect, and it's so powerful. 494 00:26:26,050 --> 00:26:28,250 And the love is there, bro. It feels so good. 495 00:26:28,250 --> 00:26:29,850 His eyes are big. My eyes are big. 496 00:26:29,850 --> 00:26:34,530 It's electric. But when I'm in control and when 497 00:26:34,530 --> 00:26:37,530 I'm in selfishness and when I'm in, you need to be this way or 498 00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:40,810 I'm not OK. He runs from me. 499 00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:43,490 Yeah. Who like as far as mentors you 500 00:26:43,490 --> 00:26:45,880 mentioned, Bill. And then you mentioned another 501 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,480 guy who was the guy that picked you up from the hospital, Bobby. 502 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,880 So Bill was one, right? Dick. 503 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,720 Dick and then Bobby. And then there was a lady, 504 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,960 right? You said that was kind of 505 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,600 helping you out a little bit. There were a lot of people that. 506 00:26:58,600 --> 00:26:59,960 Yeah. So I mean, you could probably 507 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,720 name five of them. Easy. 508 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:02,800 Oh yeah. Countless. 509 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,360 It's countless. There are 10, let's say 10. 510 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,360 The cool part about this is how those five or ten people helped 511 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,320 you. You have a little 2 year old 512 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,930 addict. Yes, he's like you and you get 513 00:27:14,930 --> 00:27:18,010 to be all of those people. To him, yeah. 514 00:27:18,010 --> 00:27:21,810 And I and I, I'm so grateful for the experience of the men and 515 00:27:21,810 --> 00:27:24,650 women that have helped me through through my own recovery 516 00:27:24,650 --> 00:27:26,410 journey. We'd like to say, you know, 517 00:27:26,410 --> 00:27:30,010 we're standing on the shoulders of the men and women that came 518 00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:32,810 before us. I'm not, we're not reinventing 519 00:27:32,810 --> 00:27:35,660 the wheel here. We're just doing what has worked 520 00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:37,740 for others and doing what has worked for us, and that's all. 521 00:27:37,780 --> 00:27:40,220 I'm extremely grateful because of that experience, because I 522 00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:44,380 have a really good education on what to do with that energy. 523 00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:50,820 If he has the more gene and is addicted to more, I know what to 524 00:27:50,820 --> 00:27:54,220 do with that energy. I know a good thing to do with 525 00:27:54,220 --> 00:27:56,020 that energy is turn towards spirit. 526 00:27:56,540 --> 00:27:59,020 I know a good thing to do. That energy is channel it 527 00:27:59,020 --> 00:28:03,710 towards something useful. You want to be 100? 528 00:28:03,710 --> 00:28:06,630 You want to be all or nothing. We'll be all or nothing in 529 00:28:06,630 --> 00:28:09,750 helping others. You want to be all or nothing, 530 00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:12,470 be all or nothing in being successful and and being kind to 531 00:28:12,470 --> 00:28:14,030 yourself at the same time. Yeah. 532 00:28:14,030 --> 00:28:17,430 And I I think with the control thing, the motivation, consider 533 00:28:17,430 --> 00:28:19,950 your motivation. And you just said, you know, be 534 00:28:19,950 --> 00:28:24,190 kind to others, help others, that will help you eliminate the 535 00:28:24,190 --> 00:28:27,150 control. I want to kind of go in that 536 00:28:27,150 --> 00:28:29,110 direction and this will lead us to the next one. 537 00:28:29,270 --> 00:28:31,390 But I, I, I want to go in this direction in the sense of what 538 00:28:31,390 --> 00:28:33,610 you just said. So many people are so 539 00:28:33,610 --> 00:28:38,650 narcissistic and so prideful, they're not willing to express 540 00:28:38,650 --> 00:28:41,250 themselves in humility towards another. 541 00:28:41,930 --> 00:28:48,090 And what I'm talking about is maybe right now in your life you 542 00:28:48,290 --> 00:28:53,450 working for free to learn something, Always tell people. 543 00:28:54,970 --> 00:28:57,660 Maybe you make minimum wage. But you found that your 544 00:28:57,660 --> 00:29:00,180 passionate purpose, you always hear of the stories of, you 545 00:29:00,180 --> 00:29:03,140 know, the artist or the photographer or, you know, you 546 00:29:03,140 --> 00:29:05,140 always hear it in the creative room or whatever it may be. 547 00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:10,020 But that person that you know, they saw, like almost like it's 548 00:29:10,020 --> 00:29:12,780 like a God tier person. Like I want to be that person. 549 00:29:12,860 --> 00:29:14,380 Yeah. So you come in and you're like, 550 00:29:14,380 --> 00:29:16,420 hey, whatever it takes, I'll clean the floors. 551 00:29:16,420 --> 00:29:17,940 I'll sweep the floors. I'll do whatever it takes. 552 00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:20,260 I just want to learn from you, you know, If I have to get my 553 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:23,700 time for free after I get off my regular job, I'll do whatever it 554 00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:25,620 takes because I want to. I want to be you. 555 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,840 You know, you know what I'm saying in like a good way, not 556 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,080 an ego way. But I I want to, I want to 557 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,280 understand you as an artist, and I want to paint like you. 558 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,520 We'll just use that, for instance, And you get in this 559 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,680 moment and you begin to understand and you watch him as 560 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,960 he's painting with his brushstrokes or her and you, you 561 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,360 hands on, see that you would never be that way. 562 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,320 If you're like, why isn't this person paying me at least 563 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,800 minimum wage? Why am I, you know, why am I 564 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,110 doing this for free? You don't. 565 00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:56,870 And I always tell people this. No matter what you do in life, 566 00:29:57,870 --> 00:30:02,190 do something that you want to do and if it doesn't pay a lot in 567 00:30:02,190 --> 00:30:06,230 the beginning, if you dedicate your life to it, I guarantee you 568 00:30:06,230 --> 00:30:09,310 to pay off if you're passionate because the higher self loves 569 00:30:09,310 --> 00:30:10,270 passion. And. 570 00:30:10,630 --> 00:30:12,790 In your unique God made you unique. 571 00:30:12,870 --> 00:30:14,710 We're like snowflakes. You know the whole thing with 572 00:30:14,710 --> 00:30:16,710 the snowflake, each one God put you on. 573 00:30:16,710 --> 00:30:19,990 I believe every person is put on this earth for one unique 574 00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:21,950 purpose. And there's something that 575 00:30:21,950 --> 00:30:24,190 you're going to do that you don't even realize. 576 00:30:24,190 --> 00:30:26,390 It's going to be a blessing and a help to someone else. 577 00:30:26,830 --> 00:30:28,950 No matter. You're like on meth right now. 578 00:30:29,110 --> 00:30:32,910 I guarantee you, if you put yourself first, if you begin to 579 00:30:32,910 --> 00:30:38,070 prioritize what it means to be on this vertical, and then you 580 00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:41,390 began to pour yourself into other people, you're going to 581 00:30:41,390 --> 00:30:43,390 help people. How many people have you helped 582 00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:45,390 in 13 years? It's countless. 583 00:30:45,390 --> 00:30:47,390 You don't even know until you know. 584 00:30:47,550 --> 00:30:49,390 And and I always love the story of. 585 00:30:49,810 --> 00:30:50,770 Like that. You've always heard these 586 00:30:50,770 --> 00:30:52,770 stories when you go to heaven and then people are going to 587 00:30:52,770 --> 00:30:54,250 come around you. You know, there's always this 588 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:58,130 beautiful story about and I I think this is like true, you 589 00:30:58,130 --> 00:30:59,570 know, in in such a beautiful way. 590 00:30:59,570 --> 00:31:02,650 I think we'll see it in our when we go back to source. 591 00:31:03,650 --> 00:31:06,010 I think that would be a beautiful way to for source to 592 00:31:06,010 --> 00:31:10,010 show us love is to show us all the lives and every little 593 00:31:10,010 --> 00:31:12,530 moment. We didn't even realize it, just 594 00:31:12,530 --> 00:31:14,770 a moment when we were sitting across the table from somebody 595 00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:17,410 and Ed Milette said that about his dad. 596 00:31:17,860 --> 00:31:20,220 And I shared that story with you, you know, where his dad had 597 00:31:21,020 --> 00:31:25,860 a guy at a bar that was an alcoholic, talked to him and it 598 00:31:25,860 --> 00:31:29,540 changed his life. And then when he died, he found 599 00:31:29,540 --> 00:31:31,900 when his dad died, Ed Milett's dad died. 600 00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:35,220 And he tells the story way better than I am, but he found 601 00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:38,100 all these envelopes that his dad had in like a drawer or 602 00:31:38,100 --> 00:31:41,420 something like that. And they were birthdays of and 603 00:31:41,420 --> 00:31:43,940 sobriety birthdays. And this guy every year would 604 00:31:43,940 --> 00:31:46,480 call these people. So alcoholic. 605 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,640 Another guy changed him, sitting at both, sitting at barstools. 606 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:55,080 Then he begins to help other addicts, other Alcoholics, 607 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,120 calling, just calling them on their sobriety year, seeing how 608 00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,560 they're doing. So everything's going. 609 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,880 There was hundreds of envelopes. Yeah, yeah, so. 610 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,480 The guy at the bar does it. He didn't even know what he did. 611 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:10,360 We have no idea how much effect we could have on another 612 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,500 individual, especially if. We're offering our presence, 613 00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:17,300 especially if we're. Cooking you just teeing right 614 00:32:17,300 --> 00:32:19,180 into the. From a present moment, look at 615 00:32:19,180 --> 00:32:21,180 this. You just stepped right into it, 616 00:32:21,180 --> 00:32:22,500 bro. Practice, presence. 617 00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:25,340 Here we go. Yeah, present a present moment 618 00:32:25,340 --> 00:32:27,060 practice. That's what we like to call it. 619 00:32:27,060 --> 00:32:30,780 I have built an entire business based on present moment 620 00:32:30,780 --> 00:32:34,300 practice, but I've also been able to change and revolutionize 621 00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:37,020 my life with the present moment practice. 622 00:32:37,020 --> 00:32:39,980 And and present moment practice can be a very big idea, should 623 00:32:39,980 --> 00:32:43,030 be an expanding idea. What? 624 00:32:44,470 --> 00:32:48,630 Where does all power come from? This God. 625 00:32:48,710 --> 00:32:50,110 Source. Yes, God's source. 626 00:32:50,350 --> 00:32:56,190 Where does God's source live? In me now, In the here and now? 627 00:32:56,910 --> 00:33:01,350 What's real if I'm if I'm having a hard time seeing reality and 628 00:33:01,350 --> 00:33:07,710 I'm interested in shedding those glasses of delusion and starting 629 00:33:07,710 --> 00:33:11,310 to look at the world in a in a reality based? 630 00:33:11,620 --> 00:33:19,900 Form in reality, place platform. God or the presence inside of me 631 00:33:22,060 --> 00:33:25,580 is eternal. It's not ten days ago. 632 00:33:25,940 --> 00:33:30,020 Only then I'm, you know, in resentment in my mind. 633 00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:33,660 It's not two weeks from now. Then I'm in fear. 634 00:33:33,860 --> 00:33:36,260 In my mind. I'm not present and I'm not 635 00:33:36,260 --> 00:33:37,500 being real. What's happening now? 636 00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:40,740 What's real now is I'm in front of a microphone with Jason. 637 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,720 And we're unrecovered Attic podcast. 638 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:47,120 That's right here, right now. Where does God, where does my 639 00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,600 consciousness, my God consciousness exist? 640 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,880 It exists in the here and now. It cannot experience. 641 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,080 Two weeks from now. It's not possible. 642 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,520 I lose myself. I lose reality. 643 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,440 When I go 2 weeks in the future. In my mind, I'm entering the 644 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,160 world of form. I'm entering my ego and I'm, I'm 645 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,239 detaching. From the power that exists in 646 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,560 the present moment. Yeah, it's like, I mean, to go 647 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,159 back to our last point, what type of eternity? 648 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,159 If you look at eternity, where's control in that? 649 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,960 How can you control eternity? Not possible, there's no. 650 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,120 How can you worry? It's a losing in eternity. 651 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:27,199 It's a losing battle that and it's how can. 652 00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:31,480 You judge in eternity. It's it's comical to think I can 653 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,960 control eternity. You're a you're a God 654 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:36,400 consciousness. I got it. 655 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,400 I'll, I'll deal with it. I know what's best I when my ego 656 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,880 takes over and I it's so funny because my ego can sneak. 657 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:51,280 Now my ego can sneak into my spirituality and I'll pray for a 658 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,520 particular outcome. God help this sick person get 659 00:34:54,520 --> 00:35:01,800 well, it's a good thing. But in that moment my ego has 660 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:06,320 reentered and I am pretending to know. 661 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,400 Better than God, maybe It's God's plan for that sick person 662 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,200 to die. Because when that sick person 663 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,080 reenters non physical, their life's going to be a lot better 664 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,880 than the suffering they're experiencing now with their 665 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,400 illness. I don't get to know that. 666 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:28,320 No, yeah, exactly. I do get to trust that God know 667 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:33,640 I've proven it to myself enough times to where the trust I would 668 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,600 like to think is a working part of the mind. 669 00:35:36,940 --> 00:35:41,100 God usually has a better plan than me anyways, so let's just 670 00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:42,940 let God deal with that. One nice prayer. 671 00:35:42,940 --> 00:35:44,980 One nice tool for me is God. You deal with that because I 672 00:35:44,980 --> 00:35:47,260 can't. God, you deal with that because 673 00:35:47,260 --> 00:35:49,580 I can't. But to get back to the present 674 00:35:49,780 --> 00:35:56,020 moment practice, I believe that God can only exist my higher 675 00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:57,940 power. My shoes of inner being can only 676 00:35:57,940 --> 00:36:03,140 exist in the present moment. I believe true power is aligning 677 00:36:03,860 --> 00:36:08,360 with that present moment. So where does all power exist in 678 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:14,320 the here and now? Why can I heal from my 679 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,960 addiction? Because I'm connected to the 680 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,400 present moment. I'm connected to all power. 681 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,360 And it's so hard when you've never done it and everybody 682 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,600 thinks to be in the present moment, you need to meditate, 683 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:31,080 you know, So you have to do some special like, you know or 684 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,120 whatever, and you need to do all these special things, and those 685 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,840 are all great things. I've been sharing a meditative 686 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,600 practice. I've been doing not every day, 687 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:41,560 but I've been trying and I try to do it several times a day 688 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:47,560 sometimes, but it's noticing things and the material talks 689 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:51,800 about this, like, engage with your surroundings, don't make it 690 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:55,000 all about you. That's what happens when you're 691 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,080 so narcissistic and you have this addictive personality. 692 00:36:59,660 --> 00:37:02,260 You can't be in the present moment because you're judging 693 00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:04,340 every single thing based off of you. 694 00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:08,340 Exactly. So if you can just accept to 695 00:37:08,340 --> 00:37:13,340 surrender to the present moment, that means looking at the guy 696 00:37:13,340 --> 00:37:17,060 walking the dog and and being in the present moment and saying a 697 00:37:17,060 --> 00:37:19,380 prayer of kindness and love. I I get. 698 00:37:19,380 --> 00:37:21,780 I want to give this person love and light herself. 699 00:37:21,780 --> 00:37:24,220 Give this person love and light. Oh what an amazing dog. 700 00:37:24,220 --> 00:37:25,520 So cute. You know? 701 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,040 Or that's a really ugly dog, you know? 702 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,440 Whatever. But you know what I mean? 703 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,440 Like it's like practice. Go to a park. 704 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,600 I used to do this. Go to the dog park cuz I love 705 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,840 dogs so much. Go to a dog park and just watch 706 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,400 the dogs. They're totally present. 707 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:45,440 So I've never seen a dog worry. No so powerful that Eckhart 708 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:53,320 totally likes, excuse me, likes to refer to animals as guardians 709 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,710 of being. We call them guardians of being 710 00:37:55,710 --> 00:38:00,350 because sometimes for for some individuals who are so lost in 711 00:38:00,350 --> 00:38:04,230 their mind, so lost in their ego, the only time they can be 712 00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:07,430 present is when they're interacting with their animal. 713 00:38:07,670 --> 00:38:13,630 So their animal is holding space for the owner, and that's the 714 00:38:13,670 --> 00:38:16,310 only time the owner gets to be present because. 715 00:38:16,780 --> 00:38:19,860 The owner meets the dog at the dog's vibration. 716 00:38:20,060 --> 00:38:22,620 The dog is vibrating in pure presence all the time. 717 00:38:22,620 --> 00:38:24,500 He's not worried about paying bills two weeks in the future. 718 00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:27,140 I guarantee you he's not worried about that last time I didn't 719 00:38:27,140 --> 00:38:29,020 feed or whatever. He's pure presence. 720 00:38:29,020 --> 00:38:31,220 That's why they're so excited to see you every time. 721 00:38:31,220 --> 00:38:36,460 They don't exist in a mind that has fear and worry or judgment 722 00:38:36,460 --> 00:38:38,580 and control. They're just pure presence. 723 00:38:38,580 --> 00:38:41,980 That's why it's so beautiful. Excellent, excellent, simple 724 00:38:41,980 --> 00:38:45,860 tools that can help us enter the present moment one. 725 00:38:46,710 --> 00:38:50,110 And it this kind of turns into five is 5. 726 00:38:50,110 --> 00:38:52,910 Tools are sense perceptions. Like you said. 727 00:38:52,910 --> 00:38:57,750 Go to the park, Look at the green grass, read a sign. 728 00:38:57,870 --> 00:39:02,830 It says 25 mph. So simple. 729 00:39:02,830 --> 00:39:05,270 It's it's it's almost stupid. It's so simple. 730 00:39:05,510 --> 00:39:09,390 But I cannot simultaneously be in my mind worrying about my 731 00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:15,290 addiction and reading 25 mph. So I love that sense. 732 00:39:15,290 --> 00:39:18,730 Perception brings me to the present moment when I'm washing 733 00:39:18,730 --> 00:39:22,490 my hands. Be with the water, fill what the 734 00:39:22,490 --> 00:39:25,170 water feels like when I'm laying in bed. 735 00:39:25,170 --> 00:39:28,890 Fill the sheets, fill the cool comfortable sheets. 736 00:39:31,330 --> 00:39:33,770 Hearing music is a fantastic one. 737 00:39:33,970 --> 00:39:37,490 Music can bring us present. A podcast can bring us present. 738 00:39:38,140 --> 00:39:40,340 A spiritual talk. Anything. 739 00:39:40,380 --> 00:39:42,220 Anything. You Gosh, I have YouTube. 740 00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:43,900 We have YouTube going all the time. 741 00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:46,900 We're constantly sending each other powerful spiritual talks 742 00:39:47,180 --> 00:39:48,140 that we think can help each other. 743 00:39:48,300 --> 00:39:51,300 What is, what is the hearing of the podcast? 744 00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:53,300 What is the hearing of the spiritual discussion? 745 00:39:54,220 --> 00:39:58,220 That's a sense perception. It brings me to the present 746 00:39:58,220 --> 00:40:00,780 moment. I'm not worried if I can be 747 00:40:00,780 --> 00:40:03,060 present with what's going on in my ears. 748 00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:06,310 I'm not simultaneously. Angry. 749 00:40:06,310 --> 00:40:09,470 About two weeks ago when this woman in the grocery store cut 750 00:40:09,470 --> 00:40:13,190 my card off and I had to pause for this overweight woman. 751 00:40:13,230 --> 00:40:15,270 And I just that's judgment. That's fear. 752 00:40:15,270 --> 00:40:16,390 That's anger. That's worried. 753 00:40:16,390 --> 00:40:18,550 That's two weeks in the past. It's not real. 754 00:40:18,550 --> 00:40:21,590 It's not happening now. So sense perceptions bring me to 755 00:40:21,590 --> 00:40:24,670 the present moment. The present moment is where all 756 00:40:24,670 --> 00:40:26,390 power exists. Another nice tool. 757 00:40:26,390 --> 00:40:28,150 Well, let me, let me, let me suck you there before you go to 758 00:40:28,150 --> 00:40:29,790 the second one, because I think this is, this is really 759 00:40:29,790 --> 00:40:31,550 important. One of the things that's helped 760 00:40:31,550 --> 00:40:33,690 me is. And and maybe I'm more 761 00:40:33,690 --> 00:40:37,530 traditionalist type. And so like this thing I've been 762 00:40:37,530 --> 00:40:41,530 doing with before I meditate and I had read this is I wash my 763 00:40:41,530 --> 00:40:43,650 hands kind of like a form of purity. 764 00:40:43,890 --> 00:40:45,570 Yes. And I practice, like you said, 765 00:40:45,650 --> 00:40:47,490 just washing my hands and paying attention. 766 00:40:47,490 --> 00:40:49,170 Cleaning my hands, just, you know. 767 00:40:49,450 --> 00:40:53,730 And then I drink a glass of water And then how does the 768 00:40:53,730 --> 00:40:55,770 water feel? How when it's, you know, just 769 00:40:56,010 --> 00:41:00,250 and then I I go into my meditation and maybe it's going 770 00:41:00,250 --> 00:41:03,620 to maybe you're Catholic. And maybe it's going to church 771 00:41:03,620 --> 00:41:06,660 and practice sitting there as you're doing the rosary beads or 772 00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:09,020 whatever you're doing. Practice being present in that 773 00:41:09,020 --> 00:41:11,060 moment. Practice when you're praying. 774 00:41:11,300 --> 00:41:13,340 Maybe you, you're a Christian Church and you're listening to 775 00:41:13,340 --> 00:41:15,180 worship music. You know, when you're sitting 776 00:41:15,180 --> 00:41:18,420 there and you get your hands and practice being totally present 777 00:41:18,420 --> 00:41:22,300 and feeling that music because music is so powerful, you know, 778 00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:25,580 and and whatever it may be. Yeah, Greek Orthodox. 779 00:41:25,580 --> 00:41:26,740 And you're listening to the priest. 780 00:41:27,020 --> 00:41:29,300 You know, church is a good way. It's a freeway. 781 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,520 It's free. It doesn't cost anything. 782 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,480 It's a good way to practice being in the present moment 783 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:36,640 because you'll be listening to the speaker, the passer, the 784 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,440 priest, whatever. And you're gone in like 5 785 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:43,120 minutes and next thing you know, he's like, man, you're like, 786 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:44,840 man. I was thinking about that girl's 787 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,640 ass and then I was thinking about I'm not getting paid 788 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,830 enough and I need to do this. You know, so it's a good hour 789 00:41:51,830 --> 00:41:54,790 that you have to sit there hour and a half and practice. 790 00:41:54,790 --> 00:41:57,350 It's a great way to practice being so not just a park, 791 00:41:57,550 --> 00:42:00,150 church. But for me, rituals really help. 792 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:01,350 Absolutely. For me. 793 00:42:01,510 --> 00:42:05,390 And I know they're ancient, so and that's why they had rituals, 794 00:42:05,590 --> 00:42:08,110 not so much that there was any act like a crystal. 795 00:42:08,230 --> 00:42:10,150 There's no power in the crystal. It's a rock. 796 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,720 You know, I mean, it can vibrate and there's different things 797 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:15,160 like that. But it's the whole idea of of 798 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,920 taking being present with that. You know, whether you, you look 799 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,000 at it and it's this type of crystal or it's this type of 800 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,680 crystal, you know, we don't get too woo woo here. 801 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,200 But you know, whether you're looking at that and and you're 802 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,640 studying it and you're figuring it out and you're seeing that it 803 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,080 has this and that, that's just you being present. 804 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,840 It's just a practice of present. So it's going to #2. 805 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,480 But the but the present moment practice what I was going to say 806 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,120 or just to kind of piggyback off of what you just said. 807 00:42:40,140 --> 00:42:44,180 Another nice, simple present moment. 808 00:42:44,180 --> 00:42:45,820 Practice. Keep it simple, they said. 809 00:42:45,820 --> 00:42:47,500 Dwayne, you know, you're a little smart and trying to 810 00:42:47,500 --> 00:42:49,620 figure this out on your own. We need you to keep it simple. 811 00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:53,700 It's just, God help me offer my presence. 812 00:42:54,940 --> 00:42:57,980 That's it. I'm having a hard time being 813 00:42:57,980 --> 00:43:00,180 present. I'm thinking about getting 814 00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:02,300 drugs. I got to call the drug dealer. 815 00:43:02,300 --> 00:43:03,460 They took my phone. I can't. 816 00:43:03,580 --> 00:43:05,140 I can't call the drug dealer. How am I going to? 817 00:43:05,260 --> 00:43:07,180 My skin's crawling. I'm having a difficult time 818 00:43:07,180 --> 00:43:10,980 being present. Well, let's get in contact with 819 00:43:10,980 --> 00:43:13,700 the appropriate power that can help me be present. 820 00:43:13,940 --> 00:43:18,060 Keep it simple, God help me be present, bro. 821 00:43:18,060 --> 00:43:20,740 I found this little tool, this little nugget. 822 00:43:22,460 --> 00:43:25,420 This is getting good around 8-8 years sober. 823 00:43:25,740 --> 00:43:27,580 I found this little nugget around 8 years sober. 824 00:43:27,580 --> 00:43:29,860 That was when the ex fiance left. 825 00:43:30,180 --> 00:43:33,700 My ego had to crack open. I had to learn what my real 826 00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:36,260 identity was. But is my identity my 827 00:43:36,260 --> 00:43:40,610 relationship? And sex or is my identity, God, 828 00:43:40,610 --> 00:43:46,970 consciousness and presence. So I I I started down this 829 00:43:46,970 --> 00:43:52,730 journey of realizing and having an inner knowing of my 830 00:43:52,730 --> 00:43:55,370 identities. Actually wrapped up in sources 831 00:43:55,370 --> 00:43:59,170 is wrapped up in spirit. And I was working at a 832 00:43:59,170 --> 00:44:03,530 restaurant at the time. Is very easy in a restaurant 833 00:44:03,530 --> 00:44:06,510 environment to judge people. Very. 834 00:44:06,590 --> 00:44:09,710 The one common thing in any restaurant is drama. 835 00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:11,630 Every single restaurant has drama. 836 00:44:11,870 --> 00:44:14,590 It's chicken, and people treat it like life and death. 837 00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:17,070 And every single restaurant has that. 838 00:44:17,150 --> 00:44:20,310 It's it's fast, it's it's quick, it's constantly moving. 839 00:44:20,310 --> 00:44:22,750 It's you. Got customers and they're coming 840 00:44:22,750 --> 00:44:23,390 in. Chaotic. 841 00:44:23,390 --> 00:44:25,590 And they're insane. They're just as insane as the 842 00:44:25,590 --> 00:44:27,230 employees. That's if there's alcohol. 843 00:44:27,550 --> 00:44:30,510 It's yes and and people are dropping levels of vibration, 844 00:44:30,510 --> 00:44:33,350 dropping levels of consciousness because they're drinking and. 845 00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:36,980 You know what? I'm trying to navigate all of 846 00:44:36,980 --> 00:44:41,740 this, and I used to approach the table and my vibration was 847 00:44:42,020 --> 00:44:47,100 immediately emitting fear. My vibration was immediately 848 00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:51,580 emitting A nervousness, or my vibration was immediately 849 00:44:51,580 --> 00:44:57,060 emitting judgment. You better tip me the amount I 850 00:44:57,060 --> 00:45:00,410 deserve. My vibration was immediately 851 00:45:00,690 --> 00:45:03,090 emitting anger. Dude, this is so helpful. 852 00:45:03,090 --> 00:45:05,610 It's could be in a meeting. I do this with meetings, work 853 00:45:05,610 --> 00:45:06,450 meetings. Absolutely. 854 00:45:06,850 --> 00:45:08,290 Coming into the meeting with fear. 855 00:45:09,490 --> 00:45:11,570 Yes. Dude, this is like so powerful. 856 00:45:11,570 --> 00:45:13,370 You're not realizing what you're saying right now with people 857 00:45:13,370 --> 00:45:15,370 that are listening. This is going to be such a help 858 00:45:15,370 --> 00:45:19,130 because that chaos, yes, that craziness then that fear. 859 00:45:19,370 --> 00:45:20,770 It's how most people are approaching things. 860 00:45:21,210 --> 00:45:25,090 Their entire life? Yes, I I, I I talked to the 861 00:45:25,090 --> 00:45:28,250 operator on the phone because I didn't get my package delivered. 862 00:45:28,500 --> 00:45:31,500 And I'm coming from the vibration of You did me wrong. 863 00:45:32,180 --> 00:45:35,140 I would never articulate with my words at the table. 864 00:45:35,580 --> 00:45:38,460 Hey, if you don't tip me right, I'm going to be pissed. 865 00:45:38,700 --> 00:45:42,980 I would never say that out loud, but energetically they are 866 00:45:42,980 --> 00:45:45,220 reading my energy. Human beings are much like 867 00:45:45,220 --> 00:45:47,380 magnets. Chinese medicine figured this 868 00:45:47,380 --> 00:45:50,020 out 3000 years ago. We admit a magnetic field. 869 00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:52,700 In quantum physics you would call it particle wave. 870 00:45:53,100 --> 00:45:56,940 The particle is matter and the wave. 871 00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:01,880 Is energy. Yes, that energy is carrying 872 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:06,360 information and science has proven that that energy, that 873 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:10,760 particle wave, that particle wave can be 9 meters in 874 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:14,960 circumference. So my energy has the power to 875 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,480 effect 27 feet in circumference around me. 876 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,600 Extremely powerful. So fear when a crazy person is 877 00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,790 walking down the street. You everybody can feel it. 878 00:46:25,790 --> 00:46:29,990 You can you go to the other side of the street to avoid this And 879 00:46:29,990 --> 00:46:33,550 so we're emitting energy. So instead of this at this man, 880 00:46:33,550 --> 00:46:36,030 I'm telling you this eight years, this eight-year mark was 881 00:46:36,030 --> 00:46:39,590 so huge for me instead of approaching and I was at work, 882 00:46:39,590 --> 00:46:43,110 so I was trying to practice spiritual principle in my work 883 00:46:43,110 --> 00:46:45,470 environment. Instead of approaching the table 884 00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:48,870 in this restaurant with my fear, with my judgment, I started 885 00:46:48,870 --> 00:46:51,760 approaching the table. With my presence. 886 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,960 Yes, keep it simple, stupid. I would literally walk to the 887 00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:59,200 table praying God help me offer my presence. 888 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,280 God help me offer my presence. God help me offer my presence. 889 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,440 So my presence is not judgmental. 890 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,800 My presence is not afraid. You know, it's amazing. 891 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,360 That's about the exact time I met you. 892 00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,080 That's true at the restaurant. And I'm not saying that's like 893 00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,120 some significant thing, but I mean, we're doing this podcast, 894 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:15,840 that's. Probably not by. 895 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,680 Action and we're Yeah, exactly. I mean, that was manifested, 896 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,800 yeah. And and it wasn't you being 897 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,840 based off of fear. No, no. 898 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:24,520 So God help me offer my presence. 899 00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:31,160 Jason, how comfortable does it feel to be in someone else's God 900 00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:35,200 centered presence? It feels so good, bro. 901 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,480 I can just be who I am. I don't have to behave in a 902 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,200 certain way. I don't have to show up a 903 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,640 certain way. I don't have to do what you 904 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,720 think I need to do because then you'll be OK. 905 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,000 It feels so good being in someone's presence. 906 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,360 People started throwing money at me. 907 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,000 I I had. That was not my intention. 908 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,640 My intention was to heal this. Yeah, because when you were. 909 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,320 Working in relationships. You were making five times more 910 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,880 than any other person, hands down, making more than the 911 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,280 managers. It was. 912 00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:07,160 It was a lot of money. People started the rowing money 913 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,400 at me and then to articulate that to the rest of the staff or 914 00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:13,440 to articulate that to a manager, they couldn't understand what 915 00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:14,720 are you doing? I said, well, I'm just offering 916 00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:17,700 my presence. Not really. 917 00:48:17,700 --> 00:48:18,860 That's the most powerful. Thing. 918 00:48:18,940 --> 00:48:23,460 But that's how powerful it was. People had an energetic response 919 00:48:23,900 --> 00:48:26,500 to my presence. I was no longer offering them my 920 00:48:26,500 --> 00:48:28,700 fear. I was no longer offering them my 921 00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:31,260 judgment and my anger. I was just offering them the 922 00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:33,780 part of me which allowed them to be whoever they were. 923 00:48:34,260 --> 00:48:37,300 And they had a blast and they treated me accordingly. 924 00:48:38,180 --> 00:48:39,940 It was fantastic. It was fantastic. 925 00:48:39,980 --> 00:48:43,780 And especially for an insane environment like a restaurant. 926 00:48:44,490 --> 00:48:48,050 To be my practice ground. So grateful that that was my 927 00:48:48,090 --> 00:48:50,330 practice ground. That's where I got to practice 928 00:48:51,410 --> 00:48:54,410 presence first. And what a nice tool. 929 00:48:54,410 --> 00:48:56,410 Simple could keep it simple. Stupid. 930 00:48:57,890 --> 00:49:00,490 God help me offer my presence. That's so good. 931 00:49:00,490 --> 00:49:02,730 I love that. Let's get into the next one 932 00:49:03,130 --> 00:49:04,210 because I think we nailed that one. 933 00:49:04,210 --> 00:49:07,410 I mean, that's like perfect. I really appreciate that. 934 00:49:07,410 --> 00:49:10,330 That helped me out. This one is the hardest one for 935 00:49:10,330 --> 00:49:12,080 me. Like, I mean honestly, like 936 00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:13,800 allow yourself to rest. That one's pretty good. 937 00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:15,920 You know my ego likes that when you're I work seven days a week, 938 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:19,000 whatever. Practice, radical self love. 939 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:23,440 This is really hard because you know, my ULP is I'm not good 940 00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,280 enough. So that's, you know And then and 941 00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,240 I want you to share with this because you were talking 942 00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:29,720 something about this. We were talking something about 943 00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:33,840 this the other day about how much we bully ourselves, how 944 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:37,240 much our ego bullies us, and then how horrific we are to 945 00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:39,440 ourselves. Yeah, yeah, we'd like to say. 946 00:49:40,290 --> 00:49:43,650 And you know our our teaching and expansion and with a present 947 00:49:43,650 --> 00:49:47,730 moment practice, one of our tools is if anyone was as hard 948 00:49:47,730 --> 00:49:52,490 on me as I am on myself, I'd beat the shit out of them. 949 00:49:53,410 --> 00:49:55,490 I don't let people be this mean to me. 950 00:49:55,610 --> 00:49:59,650 I'm a decorated champion bodybuilder like I get on stage 951 00:49:59,650 --> 00:50:02,530 and I win trophies because my body looks so good. 952 00:50:03,730 --> 00:50:06,250 Two weeks ago I was in the mirror assassinating my 953 00:50:06,250 --> 00:50:08,810 character. You have fat piece of shit. 954 00:50:08,810 --> 00:50:10,370 Look at you. How could you let yourself give 955 00:50:10,730 --> 00:50:14,210 and still, you know, top percentile, whatever and and I 956 00:50:14,210 --> 00:50:17,210 can easily go there. And get your app show. 957 00:50:17,490 --> 00:50:21,970 This is my app show year round and I'm calling myself a fat 958 00:50:21,970 --> 00:50:27,810 piece of shit. And how delusional, how easy is 959 00:50:27,810 --> 00:50:33,370 it for the ego to sneak in in my vulnerable spots and my spots 960 00:50:33,370 --> 00:50:35,770 that aren't healed and take over? 961 00:50:36,250 --> 00:50:37,860 Oh. Be hard on yourself. 962 00:50:38,020 --> 00:50:44,340 Go ahead, tear yourself apart. I walk around 365 with visible 963 00:50:44,340 --> 00:50:47,980 abs and I and I can call myself fat and a piece of shit. 964 00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:51,820 It's it's delusional. But that also drops my vibration 965 00:50:52,180 --> 00:50:54,700 and it makes it easier for me to behave in my addiction. 966 00:50:55,300 --> 00:50:58,780 Do you think because I've done a lot of self-awareness practice 967 00:50:58,780 --> 00:51:04,460 with myself on this, I think it's an excuse for me to focus 968 00:51:04,620 --> 00:51:07,330 narcissically on myself? And I don't want to kind of. 969 00:51:07,330 --> 00:51:08,730 I don't want to do vague with ego. 970 00:51:08,730 --> 00:51:10,970 I want to kind of get really specific on this. 971 00:51:12,490 --> 00:51:15,570 It's hard for, it's hard for me to accept compliments from 972 00:51:15,570 --> 00:51:18,130 people. Yes, very good, Jason. 973 00:51:18,130 --> 00:51:19,770 You know what I mean? Like if somebody, if somebody 974 00:51:19,770 --> 00:51:22,330 said hey Jason, you're doing a good job, I'm like yay or 975 00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:24,450 whatever, we need to work harder and do this better. 976 00:51:24,450 --> 00:51:26,290 My instant response, it's almost. 977 00:51:26,490 --> 00:51:28,810 Like you brush it away. Yeah, like like somebody telling 978 00:51:28,810 --> 00:51:30,730 me they love me or something like that. 979 00:51:30,770 --> 00:51:32,010 You know? I have to really. 980 00:51:33,010 --> 00:51:35,850 It's like I have to really practice. 981 00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:40,120 Like accepting it and and that's really hard to do whenever. 982 00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,040 And then I really, really want us to look at this like 983 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,400 understanding when somebody picks you up at the hospital at 984 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,480 5:30 in the morning and you called him probably at 4:35. 985 00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:53,720 Yeah. And then they get up. 986 00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,640 You know that he's comfortable laying in a warm bed. 987 00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,440 It's snowy outside. 6 inches of fresh. 988 00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,960 He's with his girlfriend, warm, another warm body. 989 00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:05,360 The worst thing that would happen is. 990 00:52:05,810 --> 00:52:10,850 Some stupid addict young punk kid calls me and now I got to go 991 00:52:10,850 --> 00:52:13,570 to this stupid hospital to pick this dumb fuck up. 992 00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:14,930 You know? I mean that. 993 00:52:14,930 --> 00:52:20,330 That's ego saying all that. Instead, it's this whole idea of 994 00:52:20,330 --> 00:52:25,570 him taking the time out of his schedule to come show love to 995 00:52:25,570 --> 00:52:27,610 you. Why would he do that? 996 00:52:29,410 --> 00:52:33,140 Because he knows what you. Well, he knows he understands 997 00:52:33,140 --> 00:52:36,060 love. He understands he's valuing 998 00:52:36,060 --> 00:52:38,820 more, valuing you more than you're valuing yourself. 999 00:52:39,060 --> 00:52:41,700 I don't know if he would have had the words to articulate it 1000 00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:46,380 then, but when he's coming to pick me up, showing love to me, 1001 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:49,100 he's simultaneously showing love to himself. 1002 00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:54,220 He's simultaneously honoring the God consciousness inside of him 1003 00:52:54,540 --> 00:52:57,340 that knows this is the integral thing to do. 1004 00:52:58,990 --> 00:53:01,390 This is the you're you're you're dead right. 1005 00:53:01,510 --> 00:53:05,390 This is the hardest one by far. Like if if not resting is hard. 1006 00:53:05,390 --> 00:53:07,110 This seems impossible. Yeah, when? 1007 00:53:07,110 --> 00:53:09,110 Eckhart Tolle. That said, if you really want to 1008 00:53:09,110 --> 00:53:12,510 practice love, show up at a family Thanksgiving. 1009 00:53:12,870 --> 00:53:16,070 Yes, yeah. Because we're just so judgmental 1010 00:53:16,070 --> 00:53:18,230 with our family. And it was like, Oh my God, my 1011 00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:20,590 uncle's coming over and he's going to talk to me for two 1012 00:53:20,590 --> 00:53:22,430 hours straight. Let me see if I can. 1013 00:53:22,430 --> 00:53:24,190 I need another drink to handle this. 1014 00:53:24,590 --> 00:53:26,670 You know, it's it's just like constant oh, look at. 1015 00:53:27,100 --> 00:53:29,140 You know, look at my mom. I can't believe she's acting 1016 00:53:29,140 --> 00:53:30,820 this way. Or you know it. 1017 00:53:30,820 --> 00:53:36,780 It's it's so tough. But the reason that we're 1018 00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:40,940 judging for me, I'm going to say for me, the reason I judge 1019 00:53:40,940 --> 00:53:46,180 others is because I feel like my my ego likes it to be like 1020 00:53:46,300 --> 00:53:48,140 Jason, look at you. You're good. 1021 00:53:48,380 --> 00:53:53,340 Yeah, like I need to find pieces of shit Are people that I feel 1022 00:53:53,340 --> 00:53:57,250 are worse off than me? To give myself kind of a ego pat 1023 00:53:57,370 --> 00:54:01,290 on the back and it's it's like you know you were telling me of 1024 00:54:01,290 --> 00:54:04,970 a circumstance with your and I don't wanna get too personal 1025 00:54:04,970 --> 00:54:07,370 here but you're telling me circumstance with with something 1026 00:54:07,370 --> 00:54:12,810 that you're facing now with a client and instantly instantly I 1027 00:54:12,810 --> 00:54:14,410 went into hardcore judgment mode. 1028 00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:16,690 Yeah it's easier. Instantly I went into hardcore 1029 00:54:16,890 --> 00:54:18,610 and then I compared it to me yeah. 1030 00:54:19,410 --> 00:54:23,010 And I'm like you know why joins friend and I do a podcast and. 1031 00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,360 You know, he's my trainer, you know, and I and I pay him on 1032 00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,080 time and you know, the list goes on and on, you know what I mean? 1033 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:30,360 I don't have problems with money. 1034 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:33,800 Yeah, I don't have, which I do. I mean, I checked my bank 1035 00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,080 account, you know, multiple times a day worrying that, you 1036 00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,000 know, the the money thief is going to come in there or the 1037 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000 bank's going to screw up or something's going to happen. 1038 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:43,200 I literally, this is so funny with my girlfriend. 1039 00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:46,040 I was literally stressing about money so much last month. 1040 00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:50,150 I was stressing so much. I thought I probably had $1400 1041 00:54:50,150 --> 00:54:52,430 in my checking account because I have investments and stuff like 1042 00:54:52,430 --> 00:54:56,190 that, but I was worried about like I had to pay this bill so I 1043 00:54:56,190 --> 00:54:57,950 thought I had 14. And I'm not. 1044 00:54:57,950 --> 00:55:00,510 This isn't a brag or anything like this, but this just shows 1045 00:55:00,510 --> 00:55:04,230 you how silly my ego is. I thought I had $1400 in my bank 1046 00:55:04,230 --> 00:55:05,950 account. If you would have said put a gun 1047 00:55:05,950 --> 00:55:08,030 to my head and said Jason, how much money do you have in your 1048 00:55:08,030 --> 00:55:10,110 checking account, in this checking account that you pay 1049 00:55:10,110 --> 00:55:12,230 your bills with? I just said probably about 1400 1050 00:55:12,230 --> 00:55:13,590 bucks, you know, and I'm kind of getting nervous. 1051 00:55:14,830 --> 00:55:17,790 I I clicked it on and I had $7000 in there. 1052 00:55:17,830 --> 00:55:20,310 Yeah, yeah, it's good. And I. 1053 00:55:20,390 --> 00:55:21,950 Almost was like, where did this money come from? 1054 00:55:22,750 --> 00:55:24,630 That's not real. Yeah, that's not real. 1055 00:55:24,710 --> 00:55:26,430 No, that's real. That's the wrong type of that's 1056 00:55:26,430 --> 00:55:28,990 not real. My mind loves fear. 1057 00:55:28,990 --> 00:55:34,310 My ego loves fear because that's the only place my ego can exist 1058 00:55:34,510 --> 00:55:37,430 in my mind. So I lose myself in these 1059 00:55:37,430 --> 00:55:39,390 fearful thoughts. I lose myself in these 1060 00:55:39,390 --> 00:55:44,120 judgmental thoughts and. I'm definitely not practicing 1061 00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:47,960 radical self love, you know, That's why this is such a hard 1062 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:51,520 one. The hard surrender healing 1063 00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:58,160 practice is because I cannot be offering love if I'm offering 1064 00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,680 ego. I cannot be offering love if I'm 1065 00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:04,600 offering selfishness. And if, if I think I am, there's 1066 00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:09,120 usually some underlying hook of Oh yeah, yeah, I'm going to be 1067 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:10,200 real nice. I'm going to be. 1068 00:56:10,590 --> 00:56:13,910 I'm very kind here, but I have selfish motives underneath that 1069 00:56:13,910 --> 00:56:15,670 because I'm trying to get what I want from you. 1070 00:56:16,110 --> 00:56:20,030 And man, what a, what a powerful thing to start practicing. 1071 00:56:20,030 --> 00:56:23,310 Very simple tool, nice easy tool, but very, very. 1072 00:56:23,310 --> 00:56:26,350 I mean, it's simple out loud, but the practicality, the 1073 00:56:26,350 --> 00:56:28,910 practicing is difficult. You know what? 1074 00:56:28,910 --> 00:56:31,870 We talked about Bobby coming to pick me up. 1075 00:56:32,070 --> 00:56:35,870 I think that opens the door. When I start being kind to 1076 00:56:35,910 --> 00:56:38,990 others, when I start showing love to others, genuine love to 1077 00:56:39,030 --> 00:56:40,470 others. Not wanting anything returned, 1078 00:56:40,470 --> 00:56:43,510 not having selfish hooks underneath my behavior, just 1079 00:56:43,510 --> 00:56:46,590 offering love. I think that opens the door for 1080 00:56:46,590 --> 00:56:50,710 me to start loving myself. At least I'm practicing. 1081 00:56:51,140 --> 00:56:52,820 At least I'm practicing showing love. 1082 00:56:52,820 --> 00:56:56,180 At least I'm practicing honoring the God of consciousness inside 1083 00:56:56,180 --> 00:56:59,460 of someone instead of making decisions because I want to get 1084 00:56:59,460 --> 00:57:01,220 something. Yeah, perfect practice for me, 1085 00:57:01,220 --> 00:57:04,300 and I learned this several years ago, was to look at myself in 1086 00:57:04,300 --> 00:57:06,060 the mirror. It helps if you're if. 1087 00:57:06,060 --> 00:57:09,500 You're naked, so good. And because you, I do the same 1088 00:57:09,500 --> 00:57:12,060 thing you do. It's like, oh, look at you're a 1089 00:57:12,060 --> 00:57:12,940 piece of shit. Look at this. 1090 00:57:12,940 --> 00:57:14,780 You workout, you do all the stuff and you still got this 1091 00:57:14,780 --> 00:57:16,020 problem. What you're eating good and what 1092 00:57:16,020 --> 00:57:19,580 you still look like this, you know all these things is to say 1093 00:57:19,580 --> 00:57:22,140 I love you, Yeah. It's so hard to do. 1094 00:57:22,300 --> 00:57:24,580 Try it. Look in a mirror and be really 1095 00:57:24,580 --> 00:57:27,580 sincere and you'll start laughing. 1096 00:57:27,580 --> 00:57:30,220 You'll start crying, you'll start, you'll go. 1097 00:57:30,220 --> 00:57:34,500 I love you, Jason, but but the but you know you need to do this 1098 00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:36,780 and this and you need to like this has to happen. 1099 00:57:36,860 --> 00:57:40,660 I love you but and it's really hard to do. 1100 00:57:40,660 --> 00:57:43,200 It's harder than you think. It's extremely difficult. 1101 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,000 To do, but I want to get back to you serving the tables with the 1102 00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,080 the with the presence of fear. Because the Apostle Paul in the 1103 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:53,040 scriptures in the New Testament he says perfect love casts out 1104 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,760 fear. Yes, so the opposite of love is 1105 00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:57,600 fear. So if you're approaching 1106 00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:02,640 yourself in every circumstance, if your reality is fear, no love 1107 00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,760 can enter in. It's not possible. 1108 00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:09,280 And then that energy that I'm vibrating at. 1109 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:13,200 Affects everyone around me. It's like a disease. 1110 00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:17,560 It it it infects them. They just if they don't have 1111 00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,600 powerful tools to be present, they just meet me at my 1112 00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,160 vibration. So now you got two fearful 1113 00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:27,040 people having an interaction where I'm supposed to get money. 1114 00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:29,480 It doesn't go well. No, it doesn't. 1115 00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:32,200 And I think that's our present state with politics, absolutely, 1116 00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:33,680 especially here in the United States. 1117 00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,920 For some of you that aren't in the United States, you just 1118 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:36,760 laugh at us. But. 1119 00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:40,600 It's just all fear based. If if this doesn't happen or 1120 00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:43,120 this person doesn't get in an office, then this is going to 1121 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,920 bad happen and they just play these these puppets of 1122 00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:50,120 corporations and these politicians on both sides just 1123 00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:53,880 play this game of fear. They're just constantly just 1124 00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:57,600 throwing those seeds of fear into you and getting you riled 1125 00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,080 up and getting you at the point to where you feel like. 1126 00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:02,280 You're a victim and you're hopeless. 1127 00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,080 And they're the savior. So good, very good. 1128 00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:09,520 That's that's the that's a very powerful perspective because if 1129 00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:16,000 I know that I'm not the victim of the tyrannical structure and 1130 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,080 it's important to understand for me that the tyrannical structure 1131 00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:23,880 is not necessarily the political system, it's how my mind 1132 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:25,560 responds. That, yes, that's. 1133 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:27,960 When the when, whoever the political system. 1134 00:59:28,610 --> 00:59:34,090 Is putting that energy on me very easy to get lost in fear, 1135 00:59:34,930 --> 00:59:40,050 very easy to get lost in guilt and unfortunately the government 1136 00:59:40,050 --> 00:59:42,530 knows that and they know how to control us with fear and guilt.