Are you in a position where you're defined by your age and
that's limiting you to pursue a dream or goal you want to
accomplish? The More Than Your Age podcast
is about having conversations with women who fully live their
lives without being dictated or defined by their age.
This is a space to encourage women who fill blocks to pursue
a dream or goal based on their life circumstances.
Welcome to the More than your Age podcast.
I am your host, Erica Pasbar. Let's start living life fully
and become more than your age. Welcome Vicki Turley to the More
than your Age podcast. I'm glad to have you here.
Oh, thank you so much and I appreciate so much the
opportunity to do this today. Yes, absolutely.
Vicki, you owned a thriving virtual assistant business for
many years, but you did have to shut that down in 2011.
You were suffering from chronic pancreatitis for almost 20 years
and you had to go on disability. I want to know, wait, what was
life like when as you suffered during those 20 years?
I'm sure it kind of varied in each season.
It did. As the illness progressed, it
got worse and worse. The two things I think that were
the worst part about it is #1 the unpredictability.
I could wake up and feel, be feeling great and I think I can
go to work and go and then the next thing I know I'm just hit
with a develop debilitating pain.
I have to go home. And so that that's what happened
is it would just, you never knew when it was going to hit you.
And so making plans, living life was it got to where it was just
very difficult to do. Where?
Where was the pain like and where would you experience the
pain? The pain was absolutely
horrible. I, I honestly, I've had two
children. It was so much worse than having
children because it was constant.
It was all the time, even when it wasn't just debilitating it,
you could feel it and it was in the lower right side of my
pelvic area and just it would radiate through my back and
cause headaches. It was unreal.
Did you because it was sporadic or just unpredictable, did that
hinder you from making plans with people or did you just say,
OK, I'll make plans and if, if something flares up then I'll
cancel? Well, again, as as the years
went on, I found out I was making less and less plans.
When it first started, I couldn't figure out what it was.
It was something that came on after my gallbladder surgery had
never had any issues before that.
And so I thought, oh, this is just, I don't know what it is,
but I'm going to go ahead and make my plans with my life.
As it went on, as months went on and then as years went on, it
was like less and less going out because I had to cancel all the
time. And I hate that that is a kind
of a pet peeve of mine. And so I just got to where I
wouldn't make plans. Yeah, and I bet that was really
challenging with, you know, just having a social life and your
overall well-being and you know, time with family, I'm assuming
and I know we'll we'll kind of touch base with that as well.
When? How did?
I'm curious to know You may have touched.
You kind of just mentioned this briefly just now, but how did it
get so bad to where you were just unable to work like you had
been able to work previously? Well, as I said, I went through
a few years of it and I was going to doctors and I had so
many different things that I was told.
They ran lots and lots of tests. And most of the doctors that
were here in my town at that time were not familiar with
pancreatitis. So they were gastric doctors.
They told me I had IBS. They told me I had
gastrointestinal issues. I actually was told that it was
all in my head. It's very, very frustrating.
It's very depressing that number 1, it gets to a point where you
are second guessing yourself. You know, maybe this is just me.
Maybe it's all in my head. I went to counseling because of
that. And finally, finally, just I
realized that this is going to continue.
And I can't seem that I can't find the answers.
So at at a certain point, I just had to say I can't work anymore.
One of the issues I had was letting people down.
I don't like to let people down. And so if I made a commitment, a
work commitment or going out with my grandchildren and then
had to reschedule or just say I'm so sorry, I can't come it,
it was that was such a a mind. It messed with your mind, you
know it Just yeah. Yeah.
Well, and then you said too, that doctors were saying, oh,
it's in your head or, you know, they weren't really able to
treat it. And, and I mean, eventually you
had to find somebody that figured out what was going on.
Was that when in 2016 when you'd begun the TPN?
About 2014 actually, my just my general doctor, he had been with
me through this whole journey. He had referred me to many
physicians and, and we just couldn't get to the bottom of
it. And I went in to see him one
time and he I was losing a lot of weight and I was sick all the
time. That's something that came
afterwards too. It's not just the pain.
Then you start being not being able to keep food down.
And he said, I think I'm going to send you to Louisville.
I know about this doctor there. He's really, really good and
he's written pay papers even on pancreatitis and chronic
pancreatitis. And, and so I went to him and
oh, it was such a game changer. Such a game changer.
Wow, how far is Louisville from where you are now?
It was a four hour drive, 4 hour drive.
So yeah, once we did start becoming, once I became a
patient of his, we were making many, many trips to Louisville,
my husband and I. Wow, well in that even itself I
would imagine it's very exhausting 4 hours away.
Very exhausting, very time consuming, very expensive.
I wasn't working by then. So it was, we were on one end
and yeah, it was. And then too, the other thing
was once I'd get there, I might get so sick that I'd end up in
the hospital. So then I have to be in the
hospital in Louisville. So then a trip that you're
expecting to take one day, it's now turned into four days to a
week. Wow, how often would you have to
take those trips? I went probably once a month
until as it got worse and worse, it was even more often than that
it, it got to where we were going probably every two weeks.
And at this time, this was still in the phase of them trying to
figure out a treatment that would work for me.
So we're trying all different treatments.
We're trying procedures. I was put to sleep so many
different times, which I don't know if you know, but that is
really hard on the body and just we just couldn't find anything
that would really work. And then here at home I was
doing things such as I went to, I was going to pain management
had pain pumps put in and the pain pumps then would something
would go wrong with them and I'd have to have surgery for that.
And it was constant medical issues.
I just got to a point where it was exhausting and tiring and
just depressing. Yeah, my goodness.
And then on top of all of that, then you just think the
financial burden of it too 'cause like you said, you had
quit your business and you're on one income and so that's going
on. OK, so you told me too that in
2016 you would begin and I may pronounce this incorrectly,
incorrectly TPN intravenous Venus.
How do you pronounce that? Intravenous feedings and between
and hardly being able to eat anything.
The pain was extremely intense, like you would share shared with
us. How long were these feedings?
How long did these take place? The feedings, I was on TPN off
and on for a period of almost three years, so there were times
when I could go off of TPN for maybe a week and then an attack
would happen again. I'd have to go back on it.
So we got to a point where we just had all our supplies sent
here to my home. I got really good and my husband
got really good at knowing how to put, put it on.
I mean, it's just like an IV basically.
And it's your, your, your feedings all through a tube.
I had a port put into my chest so that it would make it easier
because of my veins were collapsing.
You know, you couldn't even hardly get blood from me
anymore. My body was just shutting down.
Yeah. Did you feel like like, is this
is just how I'm going to live for the rest of my life or were
you hopeful at all? I was hopeful probably until
about I'd say 2014 maybe, let's see 2009.
No 2000 and and 16. By that time it had gotten so
bad, I was either in the hospital constantly and it got
to a point where I was doing so much at home that when I went to
the hospital, all they do is give me Ivs and pain medication.
So I thought, well, I can do that at home.
So it got we then decided we're not going to the hospital
anymore. It costs too much, even with
insurance. I mean, we were, it was
ridiculous. So I got to a point where I was
in bed all the time just just sick and having Ivs running
through me and the pain was I, I just can't even describe it, how
debilitating it was when it would hit and go through your
body and come out your back it, it was just unreal.
Yeah, it sounds, it sounds miserable.
You you shared with me that you basically gave up at the age of
58. You became addicted to the pain
medication and you fell into a deep depression and you stayed
in bed for days and weeks on end.
You were questioning God about like why?
Why were you still here taking up space on earth?
You would only listen to the nasty whispers of the enemy that
you were worthless and no good to anyone.
What? What did your friendships look
like? What did your value of yourself
look like at this time? There was none when I fell into
that deep depression. Let me just tell you, I've been
a Christian almost my whole life, but I would call myself
maybe a fair weather Christian. I wasn't, I wasn't in a real
close relationship with God. And so when this all first
started, I was really turning to him.
Oh God, you know, what is this? Help me get through this.
But after many years and ending up in bed a lot, I did.
I started listening to the whispers of Satan like this is
this is how you're going to live the rest of your life.
You are worthless. You are worth nothing.
And I've tried to tell you that my your whole life.
And so I started listening to him.
I started, I stopped answering calls from my sisters.
I had three sisters who are just my best friends.
I stopped answering their calls. I stopped answering their texts.
I wouldn't talk to my mother. My friends were I just they were
gone and they kept trying to reach out and I wouldn't talk to
them. It got to a point where I would
rarely even talk to my husband. And yes, you can't imagine the
shame, the guilt, all of that that you feel when you're this
age and know you've been a Christian your whole life and
yet you know that also you're abusing your pain medication.
That was it became my out. Even though the pain medication
never took away the pain, but it dulled my senses enough that I
didn't care. I didn't care.
I was just in a fog. And in that fog, what I was
doing was listening to the enemy.
And was must have been just really, really lonely and really
hard. And, you know, like you were
saying to just kind of, I mean, just pushing out everyone away
because you were in so much pain and and hurting so much.
And, and there was one point your husband walked in and he
said something to you that changed everything.
What did he say? He walked in and he said he
wanted to talk and I said OK, of course I'm laying in bed as
normal and he says I think I want a divorce.
And it, it shocked me. I have been through divorces
before, but Rocky, my husband was the one that I knew was
going to last the rest of our lives.
He was the one I knew that God had brought into my life.
And so when he told me that at first I got really mad, really
mad and all this is not my fault and how dare you, How can you
leave me and, and all of that. Then I, I got to a point where I
was, well, maybe you should talk to some other people about this
and see what they think. I guess I thought in my, in my
fog that they would all take my side.
Oh, she's sick, you know, But what the reactions were was, is
she doing anything mentally, I guess, to help herself, even
with the pain? Is she gathering her community
around her? Is she talking to God?
Is she listening to her family? And the answer was no, I totally
isolated myself. And so he, you know, he said
there's, I've got to have one thing from you for us to stay
together and you've got to get off the medication.
He said, I know that you can't get off of it, but you've got to
stop abusing it. So I, I went to my doctor and I
was very honest with him and told him I was abusing my
medication because I'd been on it for so long and was on a pain
pump. In addition, he felt the best
route was for me to go into a treatment center And I prayed
about it. I did a lot of praying.
I all of a sudden the, the fog almost seemed to lift.
It was really odd because I was still on the medication, but
it's like a little light came in when all this happened.
And so I prayed to God and I just said, OK, if this is, if
this is what's going to help and this is, you know, this is what
I need to do. I cannot lose my husband when
I've lost everything else or I knew I truly didn't think I'd
have anything to live for. So after praying about it, I
felt like I could do this without going into a treatment
center. I don't know why, I don't know
how, but with my doctor's help, we did it ourselves.
I didn't go into a treatment center, I just started backing
off. He had me on a specific plan
where we would just back off their medications.
You can take to help with the the withdrawals that you're
going to have. And they were rough.
They were rough, but I got back to a point where I was only
taking the medication when I actually was supposed to and and
and when I needed to. Wow.
So it was, yeah, it was God. It was absolutely God.
I think he was showing me Erica. I think he was telling me that,
Vicki, I am so not done with you yet.
And so here's the first thing. We're going to do this together.
And we did. We did it.
That's that's phenomenal. Well, and I'm, you know, even
thinking too, your husband comes in, he says, I want a divorce
and this is a shock to you. This is the man you want to be
with for the rest of your life and you like you.
I mean, that was a wake up call. And so did you know when he said
this? And then, you know, he he said,
oh, you know, talking to other people or, or they said, you
know, get in community and what's she doing?
What did I guess, I mean, he says, I want this divorce.
What more? So I guess in the time
following, however, you know, whatever time frame that was,
what did you say to him or I guess have to show to him where
he was able to say, OK, I see that she really is making a
change or she's she's going to practice what she's preaching
with this Are these words that she's she's sharing with me.
Well, the one thing he said to me when we had this conversation
about divorce, he said, I don't know you anymore.
I don't know who you are. Like, I don't know if you even
realize the person you are. He said, in fact, you're you're
like a shell. And I think that part kind of
really spoke to me too, is that. Yeah, I had just, I was a shell.
I wasn't a person anymore. I definitely wasn't living.
And so all of that I think gave me a motivation, you know, and
I've never really even thought about that.
But I think, yeah, it was motivation then that made me get
up out of the bed. Even if I could be up out of the
bed in a day for 15 minutes, that was that was progress.
And so each day I'd make sure that I tried to get up out of
the bed. I made sure that I tried to get
a shower. I made sure that I tried to just
talk with him, just have a conversation that wasn't totally
surrounded by pain and illness and pancreatitis.
And as it went on, it just, it was like I came back.
It was like I woke up. I can't tell you a lot of what
happened during that time during that fog.
I know it was dark and deep, but my memory, I don't it.
But I can tell you when I woke up because I can still remember
the difference and I'm going to live again, whatever that looks
like, I'm going to do it so. When you decided to make this
change and get out of this fog and you know, you had, you said
kind of stop talking to your sister, stop, stop, stop talking
to your friends. When, when did you reach back
out to your sisters or friends? Or, you know, at what point did
you reach back out to them and say, hey, you know, this is
what's going on And, and how difficult was it to, to kind of
humble yourself and, and say, I was wrong?
It was very difficult. I started with one particular
sister who's always kind of been, I just am able to talk to
her very easily. And so I called her first and I
told her that he had Rocky had come in and said he wanted to
divorce. That's when I first reached back
out to her. And so we got to talking about
it and. She said you, you've really
scared me, Vicky. She said I just you isolating
yourself. I think it's the biggest thing.
And so after our conversation and she told me there's nothing
you can do that will ever make me stop loving you.
And I believed her. And so I started believing those
things. And so that made it easier for
me to reach out to my family. I told them about the abusing my
medication and what that had done to me.
And, and I was very, very honest and open with them.
And there was a lot of tears, a lot of crying.
But in all that, there was so much love and so much
acceptance. I think maybe that's one of the
things too, is I was so afraid that if I told the truth about
how dark it had gotten and what the things I was doing abusing a
medication, that they wouldn't love me anymore.
And it's so funny because they said they all knew it anyway.
They knew I was abusing just because if I was around them or
if I did speak to them, there was no, it was AI think they
call it a flat affect. And that's how I was.
There was no emotion, no, no anything.
So they knew it all along, and yet they still loved me.
That huge? It was, yeah, yeah.
It helps so much towards my recovery.
I bet, and I know that I know this like this, just as having
this conversation is not a nor you know, we talked before that
this is your first time doing a podcast and it, and I can just
tell how emotional it is affecting you and just going
back and talking about it. And I, I, I love that your
sister, you know, your first sister you spoke with said, no
matter what you do, I, I'm going to love you.
And then your family continued and your friends and, and
obviously your husband too. I mean, just huge in the
recovery and you, you know, you were also given a specific
surgery that could save you as well.
Walk us through that surgery and and how how this helped with the
feeling as well and then time frame of all of it too.
So it actually started in 2017. The physician, I was singing a
Louisville. He said I really believe that
it's time for us to think about a total pancreatectomy.
I know nothing about this and honestly, a lot of people still
don't these days. I said I didn't know you could
live without your pancreas. And he said, well, you can, they
have this surgery now and it's a total pancreatectomy with islet
cell transplant. So basically what they do is
they take out your pancreas, they then send that to
laboratory and they take your islet cells, which is what
produces insulin in your body. They take those out of your
pancreas and they do some medical things to them, but then
they come back and they put pills into your liver.
And then your liver, if the surgery is successful and all
the islet cells live in your liver and your body is actually
able to still produce a little bit of sugar of insulin.
So this was about a 12 hour surgery.
Wow. And he told me that it's very,
very difficult that usually recovery takes about a year.
So it took me almost two years to decide to do the surgery.
I thought what, what my rationale was, was even though
things were in, I was in such bad shape, I wanted to try every
single known treatment before that to say that I had done
everything possible I could do before I went this route.
And so he supported me. The doctor supported me in that
my my husband supported me. And finally in 2019, I had the
surgery. I was, I woke up, it was on.
I'll never forget this. It was on July 31st, 2019.
I woke up in ICU August 1st, and the first time I can remember
waking up, you know, and the first thing I knew is I had no
pain, none. And it was the first time in
almost 20 years I had been without pay.
And even that in itself was a little unusual because he had
told me most people, you're still going to have pain for a
while. The body has a way of once
you've been in pain for that long, the body has a way of even
when it's gone, it's like you're missing limb syndrome.
I don't know if you've heard, but when people lose an arm or
leg, sometimes they feel like it's still there.
The body does the same thing with pain.
Even though the pain is gone, the body says, oh, it's still
here and you've still hurt. I did.
I woke up and I was pain free and I was praising God.
I was praising God. I was in ICU for I think four or
five days and then went to a regular room and I was there for
almost 2 weeks, just getting up every day, trying to walk.
Making sure my body is going to work, make sure my kidneys work
and make sure that the that the islet cells were working, that I
was obviously was going to be diabetic and had to have
insulin, but that it would my body would still produce some
insulin like recovery instead of taking a year and three months.
I felt amazing, not 100%, but I felt really, really good.
And I honestly called a friend of mine to see if she was
looking for any virtual assistants that we could work
together. And sure enough, it was perfect
timing. And I've been working with her
ever since and I've been working since then and living my best
life. You know, your, your podcast.
The reason I was so drawn to it is, is the name of it.
It doesn't matter the age. I feel like I started living my
life on July 31st, 2019. I mean, my best life.
I'm so much closer to God than I ever thought possible.
I every day will tell someone if I can that he did a miracle in
me and he continues to do him every day.
Absolutely. I mean, this physical healing
where you wake up and you're pain free, your marriage was
saved, your relationships were restored, I mean, that's huge.
Something you said earlier too, was that, you know, God is not
finished with you and he wasn't. And I mean, man, it's just so
powerful. How much also do you believe
that there's this physical healing from God?
And also, how much of it do you believe that some of your
mindset helped with recovery? Oh, I think it played a huge
part. Absolutely.
The day that I decided to get off the pain medication or quit
abusing the pain medication and I started getting up out of bed,
I spoke out loud to Satan. And I don't do that.
I have trouble praying out loud. It's just something that I'm not
comfortable with. So I've never spoke out loud to
Satan, but I spoke out loud to him and I said I am done with
you. I said I am tired of listening
to your lies. You know you're not going to
control my life like this anymore.
I said I am a child of God and that's something I've forgotten
and he loves me and my family loves me and my husband loves me
and I'm about to just show you some things and I did.
I almost, in fact, I think back and I think I almost kind of
gave him a dare, you know, like I just dare you.
And he did. It wasn't easy.
It wasn't all a bed of roses. Trust me.
There were days when I thought, Oh no, you know, but but the
mindset was it. That change made a huge impact
on my recovery, on my relationships.
Absolutely. And just instead of leaning into
the enemy's lies, I was leaning into God.
And Oh my goodness, He's so, so big enough to handle that.
Yeah, that's huge. Absolutely I was going to say
something and then it just, it just slipped my mind to
something that you had said. If I think of it, I'll, I'll
come back to it. And you, you told me to, or, you
know, you shared it here just now that you had struggled with
understanding your existence for living and God's work in your
life when you were in that in just the deep, deep, deep low
part. And and then now just saying you
that you were telling Satan like, you know, I'm done with
you. Where, where are you at with God
now? And and and and talking about
this purpose of feeling like I have so much of A purpose now.
Where? Where are you at with all of
that now? It's pretty amazing.
You know, as I said, I've been a Christian my entire life and
I've gone to church most of my entire life.
So I'm familiar with the Bible and I can quote Bible verses and
all of that. Even when we were young child
went to GA's, girls in Action and things like that.
But we never there was something about an intimacy that I thought
I would never have. I thought that that that just
wasn't for me. And a lot of that was part of
myself worth problems. After the surgery, one of the
things that I determined that I was going to do was to go
through some intensive counseling.
Now, I've been through counseling before and I thought
I had dealt with a lot of things, but I really hadn't.
So part of my recovery was going through counseling and really
embracing the fact that God does love me.
He loves me just as I am. He loves me as a Sinner and my
imperfections. And because of that, I am.
I embraced it. I just, I embraced it holy.
And so that really helped with the relationship.
I am in an intimate relationship with him now.
I, I get up and do devotions and Bible study every single
morning. For me, that's when I have to do
it before the day gets going and you, you know, everything else
gets in the way. So that time with him is it's
almost like breathing for me. It is so part of me and who he
meant me to be. The purpose.
All my life I struggled with what my gifts were.
Everybody talks about spiritual gifts and I think my
understanding was a little bit skewed in that I didn't have a
spiritual gift of ministering to people or to, I wasn't a pastor,
I couldn't be a speaking leader or I could teach children.
But so I always thought I, I just, I don't know what my gifts
are. I don't have gifts and he has
shown me that. Oh my goodness, the gifts that I
have might be different from others, but they're still gifts.
I have the gift of encouragement.
I've always been an encourager and I tried to whatever
someone's going through to not. I don't dismiss their struggles.
I try to empathize, empathize with their struggles, but show
them that through it all, God's going to make us stronger and
that He's going to be there for us.
So I'm going to encourage her. The other thing is my business
acumen. I have been an amazing business
person since I was 17 years old. I love computers.
I'm a tech person. You give me a program, I'm going
to learn how to do it, and then I'll teach you how to use it.
Those types of things. And I never felt like those were
part of my gifts, but I realize now they are.
God gave those to me. He gave me the passion for them.
I love that kind of thing. He gave me the the skills to do
it, to understand and to be able to teach others.
And so those just like being a teacher or a preacher, those are
my gifts. Those are the things that I can
do. And when I was able to embrace
all that and realize that me, Vicki and me, the professional
Vicki, we're all in one, my, my life, all of that is me.
And whether that be my personal life or my business life or
whatever, it's all from God. And all I want to do now is, is
serve others and point them to Him.
Around what age do you think or do you feel like you came to
that realization? Well, let's see, my surgery was
in 2019 and it's now 25. I have to count I'm 67 now.
So I was about 60 years old. It's been about 7 years close,
so 6061 years old. Yeah.
Then I came to that and. And The funny thing about it is
I truly am living my best life now.
I'm not that I didn't have good times before, I had great times.
I have children, I had a wonderful marriage.
The thing now is the joy that I have, I know that is rooted deep
inside me and there's nothing and no one that can take that
away. So at 61, I now am just the most
joyful, you know, person that you can meet.
I, I, I just, it might have taken me a while, but you know,
I got there. You got there and you had to go
through some really hard things to get there.
I, I want to share something that you wrote that you wrote to
me. You said I don't take one single
day for granted and I thank him God every day.
I live life to the fullest. I work, I take my grandchildren
on adventures and first and foremost, I try to be more like
him every day. And then with that you shared,
you decided to start working again.
You called your friend to say, hey, you got you have any
virtual assistant work and you got that you're starting newer,
new at A at a later stage in life.
You felt this nudge to start writing and then another nudge
working outside of your comfort zone to offer services to female
small business owners and provide proofreading and
editing. Tell us about this this nudge
that you you felt at 67. Yeah.
Well, last July I went to a writers conference, my first
one, and I just knew that God was asking me to write.
Well, I guess maybe it was peer pressure.
Everybody writes a book, you know.
And I thought, oh, I've got to write a book.
I've got a story. I do.
But for six months after this conference I thought, do I keep
blogging? Do I write a story?
Do I write a business story? Do I write my personal story?
All of this for six months. I was stuck in January of this
year. Well, probably mid-december, I
don't know what happened, but it just one day it hit me, it
popped into my mind and God said, Vicki, here's what I want
you to do. I want you to continue blogging.
That is writing. I want you to post, I want you
to blog and that's your writing for now.
A book at this point would it would hurt some people that I
love. And it is not time for that.
It's it's just not time now. But here's what else I want you
to do. Here's what I'm gonna stretch
you and grow you. And I'm thinking, wait, wait,
you know, this is enough. I wanted you to take your
encouraging. I want you to take your skills
and proofreading and looking at stories and getting so involved
with those stories that you're wrapped up in it and helping to
enhance those stories and helping to enhance characters.
And I want you to support writers and authors and editors,
people who support writers and authors.
And I'm thinking what what I mean, I'm all about living my
full life and living every day to the fullest.
But Lord, that's a little scary. And he says to me, you know, I
want you to stretch. When you get inside your comfort
zone for so long, it's almost like you put yourself in a box
and this box doesn't grow. You get really comfortable
there, but you get stagnant. And how can you really learn and
grow if you're not moving? So he asked me to step out of my
box, and I've done that. It has gone amazingly well so
far. I have so many friends who
support me with everything, and I think that kind of gives me
the validation to know that this is from God.
Pieces are falling into place, People are supporting me, they
see the need and so I'm just following God and seeing where
He's going to lead next. You know what's so what's so
cool for me to to listen and hear in this is that you know, a
lot of people retire at 6567 and you're choosing to start this
new chapter and listen to what God is asking you to do.
When you know, when you hear that people retire at and
everyone is doing whatever they're doing for you know,
whatever reason, that's their life and their story.
But when you hear that and then you know that you're in this,
this other chapter, what do you think of that?
I think that we think wrongly about the word retire.
I think for me, what I've found out is that retiring is just a
transition into the new chapter of your life.
Because here's the thing, if you retire and just sit and do
nothing again, your body starts going down, your mental
stability starts going down. As long as you are living and
moving and growing. I think that's what God wants
for us. And who wants to stop?
I mean, as long as I can work and as long as I can serve
others, I am going to do it. And as long as I can also then
take my grandchildren on adventures, which we'd love to
do, as long as I can spend time with my husband and us go visit
our state parks, I'm going to do all of that.
And I'm able to do that at my stage of life.
So it was like perfect timing really.
I imagine I'm just, I'm listening to you talk and I'm
thinking, you know, I'm, I'm hearing this, this woman who has
so much just so full of life has this purpose as a second purpose
of you. You know, you could say that and
thinking about just me visualizing the Vicky that I see
in front of me, visualizing the Vicky that was in bed all the
time and, you know, stuck to these pain medicines and.
Keeping the people that you love the most out of your life
because you were hurting and you were in a dark place.
And just this Vicky, now what are you proud of?
I'm proud of the fact that I had the courage to do the surgery.
I'm proud of the fact that I told Satan get away from me.
I'm proud of the fact that I went all in with God.
I just said whatever it is, it is still scary, it's still hard,
but whatever it is you want for me, I'm proud of the fact that I
finally embraced His love and and His goodness and His mercies
every single day. I still mess up every single
day. And man, he has so much patience
and so many mercies and so much grace.
And he just says it's OK, we have tomorrow.
And so I get up the next day and I thank Him for allowing me to
wake up, and then we have a whole new day of mercies and
grace. It's it's beautiful.
I even more just thinking of as you were talking, I was thinking
like, one, everyone needs to hear your story.
So there's that. And then two, I was just
thinking like, man, what the power of God's work in your life
and how also visualizing again, a lot of your story, I'm
visualizing you, you know, telling Satan, like you do not
have a hold in my life anymore. I'm done with you and how your
life has just transformed and it's just changed.
It's beautiful. I also, I want this, I think was
my question. That was just a brief question.
I wanted to ask where I was like, Oh, I forgot your your
pain. You said that you woke up that
one day and it was gone. How about now?
Because you were also saying that, that your body has a
memory of the pain. So wait on date, maybe not
day-to-day, but on occasion. How is the pain for you?
Is it still completely gone? It's completely, completely
gone. My doctors kind of freak out
about it. They say like never, never.
I I have not had a pain. In fact, it's really funny you
asked that question. Just recently I was, I had some
gastritis, went to the doctor and they wanted to just make
sure everything was OK and did a CT scan.
And I had been having some pain in the same area and I thought,
oh, no, after six years, is this is this it?
You know, is this the pain coming back?
And it wasn't, it was something else.
They actually found a mass on my lower pelvis.
And I just got the news that, praise God, everything is fine.
It's wonderful. No cancer.
I don't even know if we're going to have to do surgery on it.
So again, he just amazes me. What I do want to say though, is
I would not have wished those 20 years, almost 20 years on
anyone, but I know that only because of those 20 years am I
living the life that I am now. And if we don't know how far
down we can go, how deep we can, how, how dark it can get, how
can we know to praise God and be thankful every single day and
grateful for how far He's brought us?
Thank you, Vicky, Thank you for saying that.
I really just love how God has worked in your life and even
just like you were saying, you wouldn't wish those 20 years on
anybody, but you went through those years to get to where you
are now, all the good and the bad.
And there I know there was a lot of bad.
You said this, you said God has shown me so much more.
He's shown me that he's not done with me yet, which we've talked
about. He's shown me that there is more
to work, work to do. He's shown me that I can still
use my skills and my passions to be able to supplement our
income, which we talked about with your job.
You also said you don't know if it will stay small or grow big,
but what you do know is that you're giving it all to God.
And I know it's so easy and I know you felt this when you were
in the low. It's, it's so easy to either
look at other people's lives, to look at your own life
circumstance and situation and, and struggle and, and go through
it and, and, and women will view their circumstance or even their
age as a limitation or a barrier.
That's why I'm just so passionate about this of like
of, of trying to use your story and other women's stories to
really help women realize you're where you are for a reason.
What are we going to do about it?
And so if you could encourage that one woman who's in the spot
where you were 20, you know, or however many years ago, if you
could encourage that one woman who feels blocked or limited to
pursue a dream or a goal based on her age or a life
circumstance, what would you say to her?
The first thing I say is, and I love that you use the word
circumstance. When we focus on our
circumstances, that's all we're going to see and they are going
to swallow us. But when we focus on God instead
of the circumstance and what is He teaching me from this?
What is He growing? How is He growing me?
Then it helps us get through it better.
It's not going to take it away. Nothing is.
We live in a fallen world and we are fallen people.
But if we can keep stay focused on Him and figure out what is He
trying to say to me, then it will make it so much better.
And age, it does not. It does not matter.
It really doesn't. I think like I said before, if
we can constantly be growing, if we can constantly be looking for
what God has for us, we are going to find so many blessings,
so many things to be grateful for.
And isn't that what makes life so much fun?
And this world that we live in with the news and the, and the
just the stuff and the wars and the meanness, we can focus on
him and his goodness and then see that goodness and other
things. And the six inches of snow that
we got last night here in Kentucky And the little Bluebird
I saw sitting on my bird feeder earlier and my grandson smile
when he runs in to give me a hug.
I mean, we can find it anywhere. And the more that we focus on
him instead of the circumstances, the more we're
going to see those. That's huge focusing on him more
so than the circumstances. And I, as you were talking to, I
was just thinking like, you know, I've gone through some
hard things and then thinking of I know that more hard things
will happen down the road. And I'm just thinking for
listeners out there, whether you're in the hard or when the
hard things do happen, just to listen to the words that you're
saying and focus on the Lord because he will get us through
those times. And I'm just hopeful and need to
pray myself that now for future me and even, you know, anyone
else who's listening to make sure that we're aligned with the
Lord when those times happen. Absolutely, absolutely.
And God made us for community too.
So let's don't isolate ourselves.
You know, we tend to do that when things get hard, we're
going to isolate. That's the time when we should
be surrounding ourselves with community, with our loved ones.
Absolutely. Well, Vicki, I would love, you
know, if anyone needs any of your services, I'd love for you
to just share where people can reach out to you or your website
or any anything else you want to just share.
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm on Facebook as Vicki
Brack Turley. BRACK Turley, you can find me
easily. I'm on Instagram as Vicki Turley
Rider. And then my website is just
www.vickiturley.com. And I think if you go to my
website, I hope people will just check it out.
I think you're going to see me. I hope that you do.
I try to be authentic and open and honest with everything and
so I hope you see that on the site also.
Yeah, I'll put that all in the show notes.
And I also like how you said earlier too that you're writing.
You said, you know, I'm blogging and you go and you said, and
that is writing. I am, I am writing.
I think that that's important to to share that.
That you're a. Writer.
And that's what you're doing. Absolutely.
And honestly, that's kind of why I put writer after my name on
Instagram. I thought I am writing, even if
one, one person sees it, that's going to be the one person that
God wanted to see it. So numbers really don't matter
to me. They really don't.
As long as I am doing where what I feel God is leading me to do,
then the people that need to see it will come to see it.
So that's. So huge yes, Vicki, this was so
encouraging to me. So one I want to say just on,
you know, on on the recording so everyone can hear that this side
of this really spoke to me a lot.
And so I know that that's going to help so many other women as
well. So thank you for taking the time
and for joining me today on the More Than Your Age podcast.
Thank you so much, it's been wonderful.
If you were encouraged by today's episode, like and
subscribe to this podcast, leave a review and share this episode
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socials at More Than Your Age. Keep striving for your goals,
live fully, and we'll catch you next time on the More Than Your
Age podcast.