As you know, we're teaching through the Book of Colossians.
Once we finish Colossians, we'll be teaching through the Book of
Revelation on Sunday mornings. Colossians chapter 3, verse 12
to 19, we're in today. The title of this morning's
message is The Greatest Battlefield and the longest war
in history. There have been some great
battles over history. We have the Battle of Hastings
1066, the Battle of Waterloo 1815, the Battle of the Bulge
194544 to 45 when Germany's last pitch to try and save themselves
from invasion. Just a few to mention most of us
are familiar with, but the greatest and longest battle that
has been going on since Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden
of Eden is the Battle of the Home.
Within the Battle of the Home, there are a number of conflicts,
not just one battlefield, number of battlegrounds.
We have the battle of marriage itself doesn't start off that
way. On the day that a couple weds,
the last thing that they have on their mind is that they're going
to have dissent. We have the next is children
come or a child comes. For those that are able to have
children comes the battled parenthood, raising kids and in
amongst all of that in the home is the battle of relationships
between the whole family. This morning when I deal with
just one in depth the core battleground, the others will
get to, but importantly and often just covered over glossed
over leading up to the battlefield.
We want to take a reconnaissance before any great battle.
Jesus says before any king goes to war he counts the cost.
How do I have enough soldiers? Do I have enough, you know,
bullets and weapons and arrows back in those days and things
like that. And so we examine the strength
of those in the battle. We view this stores, their
skills, their training, their abilities, and especially what
sort of support do they have for the conflict, for the struggle,
and especially in this conflict in home and in battles too, how
they address for the battle. When Yaniv was with us and
Israel was attacked in October and Jews from all over the world
decided to fly to Israel to fight for the freedom of the
nation, he said thousands arrived, but we didn't have
enough uniforms, we didn't have enough guns, we didn't have
enough boots, helmets. It was they were caught short
and you need to be dressed to go to battle.
Paul so far in Chapters 1-2 and most of chapter 3 now has taught
us what to throw away what we don't need.
When you go to battle, the last thing you need is is stuff that
you don't need. He tells us to cast off.
We looked on it on Wednesday. He actually says execute the
word, execute necrosis, put to death, finish, finalise.
Anything that will hinder our walk with God, that will hinder
us having a victorious walk with God, anything that would make us
weak in the struggle. And we need to be fully
cognizant of the strengths that we have, the weapons that we
have, which will ensure victory. It says back in verse 8, let's
go there, Ephesians 3, verse 8. We'll get to 12 and 19 shortly.
But now you yourselves, I used to think, and I still do that.
It's poor, poor English when you go me personally, or how else
can it be you personally? But here in the in the Bible, it
says, but now you yourselves are to put off all these.
That means it's possible for us to put these things off.
It means we don't have to get someone to do it for us.
Now we are able, we have the strength.
Satan no longer has the control over us in these areas.
We are able to now just go, no, now we are able to make a
choice. Now we're able to put these
things off. What are they?
He knows anger, but anger we'll study that.
Don't worry. Anger is a God given emotion,
isn't it malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your
mouth. Then verse 9, do not lie to one
another, since because you have put off the old man.
The old man's dead. The old man was a liar.
The old you used to lie with his deeds, verse 10 and have put on
the new man. 2 Corinthians 517 Anyone who's received Christ is
a new creature. In Christ all things have passed
away. Behold, all things have become
new. We put on a new man who is
renewed. How is it renewed?
Now we have some brains, knowledge, knowledge according
to the image of Christ. We know how to live now.
We know how to live right now because the Bible tells us in
the Gospels and all through from Genesis to Revelation, the story
is about Jesus Christ. When we get to the Book of
Revelation, it's the unveiling. This is who he is.
And so we now see Him, how he acted, what He did, and where to
imitate Him who created Him, where there is neither Greek nor
Jews, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian,
Scythian, slave nor free. But Christ is all, He's
everything that we need. And in all, in other words, He
is everything in our marriage, He is everything in our home, He
is everything in our life. Is that?
Can you say that? Amen to that yourself.
Can you say as a couple he is everything in our marriage?
Can you say as an individual, he's everything in my life?
Can you say when you're sitting with your family at home, he is
everything in this home? The truth is quite clear to you.
How you answer them? Let's look at the first one.
Put off anger. This word in the Greek means
resentful bitterness. It's not just the not just being
angry because you can have a righteous anger.
We have a righteous anger at the way the Jews are being
mistreated against anti semitism.
We have a righteous anger that says abortion is wrong.
This is anger that is a resentful bitterness.
This is an angry person or persona constantly.
That's just who I am. No, it's not.
If you're a Christian that's dead, you can't say that.
That's just who I am. That's just how I am.
No, if you're a Christian, that's not who you are.
Now instead, the Bible says we are to be slow to anger for the
anger of man. And we all know this, don't we?
When you fly off the handle, are your words and your actions and
your deeds the right thing to do?
Never. They never are.
The anger of a man does not achieve the righteousness of
God. Proverbs 1632 says He that is
slow of anger. Slow to anger is better than the
mighty, and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a
city. A man that is slow to anger is
better than the greatest soldier.
A man that is slow to anger is better than the greatest
commander of battles. Malice.
The word here, malice means someone who is bent on doing
harm to others. In this context, it is harm
caused by evil speech. Today it's all about trolls,
isn't it on social media and we would call that and the Bible is
big against it. Gossip.
Gossip in a church is horrific. It's probably the one of the
most vile things that you could ever be is a gossiper as a
husband and wife in this context, good rule, Pastor Tom
Whitaker told us. Never, never, never speak
publicly in a derisive way about your spouse.
You know, today we have people gathered together and they go,
you know, they're sitting together and with their friends
they go, yeah, he, he's useless. He just can't.
She, she's just always off with the fairies.
That's can't do that, can't do that.
It's wrong, sinful. It's malice, blasphemy.
And in this case, in this context, it is slander against
people. It's saying something about
people that is not right, but it also blasphemes God at the same
time. When we slam to someone else,
how is that? How does it blasphemy God at the
same time in as much that God created man and woman?
Matthew 522, Jesus says anyone who says Raqqa or you fool such
a person, Jesus says is guilty enough to go into fiery hell.
Man, think of that Matthew 522. Then it says filthy language.
This is called mouth abuse. Jesus warned us that every
careless word that we speak will render and account for it in the
day of judgement. Jesus said Matthew 1236.
But I say to you that for every idle word, that's what we
shouldn't be saying. Every idle word men may speak,
they will give account of it. So it's being written down in
the day of judgement. For by your words you will be
justified, or by your words you'll be condemned.
It says then do not lie to one another.
When Christians lie, we are copying Satan, not God.
He's Satan is the father of all lies.
We Christians of all people are to speak the truth to one
another. Then it says verse 12, let's get
to it. Therefore, based on all these
things that you put off now, so now we have what a Christian
husband and wife are they've they've taken their old junk
clothes off and now they're to be dressed for home dress for
their marriage. I'm not talking about the
wedding, talking about their marriage.
Therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, holy means
you're set apart, beloved means God loves you.
Now put on. So this is we put off, we
execute, we put to death. Now we go to the wardrobe and
God says, here's the wardrobe. This is what I made you.
Now put these on. Put on tender mercies, kindness.
This is what goes into a marriage.
Put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long
suffering, bearing with one another, and the beautiful thing
about marriage besides long suffering, bearing one another,
and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint
against another, even as Christ forgave you, notice it says so
you also must do it's a command. If you receive Christ's gift
forgiveness, then by a command you are to give forgiveness on.
But above all these things wrapped around these things, the
outer garment, put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
Verse 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to
which also you were called into one body, and be thankful, verse
16 that the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
That means overflowing, abundant, full in all wisdom,
teaching and admonishing one another.
How Psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, You know, it says all
this in Ephesians 5 before it gets to the husband and wife
part again, that spiritual songs, submitting to one
another, being filled with the Spirit, not with wine,
admonishing one another. And psalms and hymns and
spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the
Lord, verse 17 And whatever you do in Word or deed.
So anything that you do, I don't care whether you're surfing,
playing golf, washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, putting
out the laundry, whatever you do in Word or deed do all in the
name of the Lord Jesus. It changes the way you live.
Giving thanks to God the Father through him.
You've heard the saying, wearing a Sunday best.
In the old days it was that way. You know, when kids my age were
going to school, we never wore shoes.
Primary school, there were no shoes.
You wore shoes for playing cricket and you wore shoes for
playing football, otherwise barefoot.
And so when you went to church, you put shoes on sandals or
phones or something. And it was done back in those
days. And then the young girls would
wear white gloves and hats, dress men would actually put on
a suit, go to church Sunday best.
Paul describes what a husband and wife should dress like at
home if they're followers of Christ.
And here is their clothing. Here's your wardrobe.
Put on the bowels of mercies. Wear kindness, humbleness of
mine, meekness, long suffering, forbearing one another,
forgiving, charity, love. Then it said, let the peace of
God rule. That means dominate in your
hearts. Oh, it's all right, you've got
the peace of God no matter what's happening.
You have the peace of God that's dominating your home.
Your heart says be thankful, be in the word of God.
If your Bible is picked up and taken to church, not opened
either any other time, give it to someone who will read it who
wants one be in the word of God and it will give you wisdom.
You know, people often want to talk have counselling about
things and here's the way that someone should anyone a
Christian should counsel any other Christian.
It should be what is it? This is the problem.
OK, here's what the Bible says about that problem.
Go and read that because I don't know what to do.
You don't know what to do. God's the only one who knows the
mind of God and then abide it. If it says this or there's the
counsel, go and do it. But my opinion about anything,
you should I should never give my opinion about anything.
My counselling should only ever be if this is the situation.
Here's what the Bible says about the matter.
Now your choice by it or disappear.
Believe it or rebel against it. Worship God and exhort and
encourage one another. In other words, live for God
totally. This is a Christian marriage.
That's the description of a Christian marriage.
This is the prerequisite before proceeding to the part where
we're going to talk about husbands and wives, that the
word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom.
Verse 16 teaching and admonishing one another, Psalms,
hymns, spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the
Lord. The word dwell there means
fullness. We could easily call the verses
in Colossians from chapter 318 on to chapter 4 verse one, the
Christ full life. Remember there used to be a show
on TV some of you might remember called full house.
Well, the Christ full House of the Christian family is what
Paul's talking about. This morning we'll look at the
exhortation to Christian or believing husbands and wives.
We'll look at the exhortation to Christian or believing husbands
and wives. Verse 18, Wives, submit to your
own husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands. Verse 19, love your wives.
Do not be bitter toward them. So what is the relationship to
be between a Christian husband and a Christian wife?
How are each to live as believers within the home and
experience there the fullness, the richness of God that He
intends them, that He wants us to have?
Or God created the institution of marriage and the world has
attempted to dismantle, to destroy marriage as God
originally intended between a man and a woman, husband and
wife to be for life. The world set out to degrade it
to a purely legal document that anyone can marry anyone now, and
they have attempted to change the very DNA of what marriage is
as God created it to be in the book of Genesis.
So let's look at wives. First of all, ladies, before
gentlemen, submit to your own husbands as is fitting in the
Lord. Now under Jewish law at this
time, if you're a wife, she was the possession of the husband
like, like he owned a camel, a donkey, and he owned his wife.
Same thing, chattel. She had no legal rights.
Now a husband could divorce his wife, but the wife had no rights
whatsoever to do the same. That's why there was a thing
called a dowry. Under the Greek tradition, the
wife lived a life of complete seclusion.
She was never to be seen on the streets alone.
She could not even go to the market alone.
She lived in a separate section of the house.
She did not join the men even for meals.
Yet the husband could live and do as he pleased.
When Jesus Christ came, he brought great change.
You know, the women's liberation movement, you know, hammers the
Bible, patriarchal and all this sort of stuff and carries on
about it. But they don't realise if they
only open their eyes, that everywhere that Christianity has
gone, it has set free women. And we'll look at the countries
of the world, even today, everywhere that the gospel is
gone and Christianity has has been accepted, the women have
been liberated. He is the greatest woman's
Liberator in the history of the world.
Paul tells us in this 2 verses that both the husband and the
wife have duty. So it's not just, well, the
husband lives as he pleases. No, the wife and the husband now
have tasks they need to fulfil and be admonished.
Admonished in the Lord. How could the Christian wife
live in the fullness of Christ, says it wives.
And here's the key part. Submit to your own husbands.
And here's the qualifications as is fitting in the Lord now in
the moment. And I've done a lot of marriages
and marriages and people want to talk about their vows.
They don't even do anything. But I'm not having any business
about submission. I will not have that.
Well, great. Then this is off to a good
start. It really is.
And the moment you say something like this, because of our
cultural thinking and the and the pressure upon it, all of us
today, we even think they'll. Yeah, it's a it's a bit archaic,
isn't it, Keith? Well, I've submit to your
husbands as it's fitting in the Lord.
Such a statement like this in today's society ignites a fire
the moment something like that is spoken or aired.
But remember, let me stop here right now.
This is the word of God and you can't go well, sorry, this is
the word of God. This is it.
This is the word of God. It's God's design, he says.
This is how it works. This is how we're expecting God.
How can that be right? Because you don't know, you're
arguing with God. You don't even know how to do
his shoes on. And we're arguing with God about
what? What respect and submission is.
It's God's design. He knows the best design for
fullness in a marriage. Yes, there are TS and CS terms
and conditions. Yes, there are qualifications
for this called submission. Absolutely.
It does not mean the submission that you are a doormat.
That's not what it means. Nor does it mean you are to be
servile or a slave does not mean that it's a charge for Christian
wives who are living as believers of Christ.
It is done. How is it done?
Notice the the the couple of words after as is fitting in the
Lord. It is done how?
As an act of worship. Just like you sing in church,
your submission at home is done as an act of worship to God.
And that can change the whole picture because the reason
you're submitting is because you want to be a blessing to God.
This is what God's asked you to do.
Well, I'll do this because I love God and he'll sort out the
rest of the stuff. It's not a matter of you either
being inferior or superiority, but it's a recognition of your
specific role. God says this is how marriage
works, here's your task, wives, if you do this, this is your
rank, this is your role, this is the why, This is your order,
this is your responsibility. It's like in the Army you have
privates, sergeants, senior sergeants, commissioned
officers. Then it goes up.
Colonels, generals and so forth and so on.
They're all equal. They're just men or women, but
they're people of rank. You have a rank and then the
home. This is the rank.
This is the role of rank. It's not about, Oh well, you,
this is all you can do. No, it's a recognition of the
differences of husband and wives.
Wives, importantly, let your husband.
Here's the task for you to do. Be the leader.
Well, he doesn't lead. Just step back.
He's got to let him be the leader.
Say, hey, what are we going to do?
What? What are well, what if you no,
no, what are we going to do? What do we do?
Let him grow in God's grace with your support.
Encourage him in that role. You make the decision.
You pray about it, we'll go with what you say with as you seek
the Lord, let him make a few mistakes in the process.
Husbands, husbands verse 19 love your wives.
That's the task. How do not be bitter toward
them. Husbands are commanded by God to
love their wives. There's no choice in the matter.
You're going to get married. Here's the command.
Love your wife. God says you will love your
wife. It's a command.
This love is not Eros love. This is not phileo love.
They're involved, but they have their own place.
This is agape love. This is how you to love, which
means unceasing care and loving service for your wife's entire
well being. In Ephesians 5 it says verse 25,
Husbands love your wives. It's a command.
How just as Christ also loved the church, what did he do and
gave himself for her. So their husbands is the
command. Here's the how that's Christ did
it. And here's the what gave himself
for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing
of water by the word. That's the word of God, that he
might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot
or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and
without blemish. So here's the that's the exempt
so husbands, or to love their own wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just as the Lord does the Church.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of His bones.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother,
change of duties and responsibilities, and be joined
to his wife, significant change. And the two husband and wife
shall become one flesh. This is, this is significant.
What this means here, this is a great mystery, but I speak
Christ concerning Christ and the Church.
Nevertheless, Paul repeats that each one of you in particular so
love his own wife as himself. How many times has he told us?
And let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The husband's love, Paul says, is to mirror.
It's to imitate Christ's love for his church.
How much does Christ love his church?
You know that he gave himself for her?
Hardly. God's command to husbands is
only fulfilled when a husband loves his wife in the same
manner. But let's define what that looks
like because we talk about it a lot.
This love, this manner of loving is divine, defined.
And there's a word called incarnational to spring off
Incarnate. In its simplest terms,
incarnational means being embodied in a physical form,
doesn't it? Christ became embodied in the
body of a man, especially a human, or taking on a particular
form of state. Or what's this got to do with
husbands and wives? Genesis 224 Therefore a man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Something unique happens in marriage.
It's a mutual incarnation. So husbands, verse 28 of
Ephesians ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.
A husband is to incarnational or Incarnate himself into their
wives. What does that mean?
That means this they are to be so enamoured with them that they
will understand their emotions as well as you understand your
own emotions. Get it?
Because you're no longer living for yourself, you're now living
to give your life for your wife as if they were your own.
You learn how she thinks her mental process as if you were
one. You're on the same page because
you are in marriage. God enables this.
It is possible to love your spouse as your own body.
How to be so connected so you understand and sense her world.
When you see her, you understand what she's going through.
You know when someone says something, you know how that's
going to work. As you understand and know
yourself, you understand and know who, OK, how do you achieve
this? Is this possible?
It's pretty simple. One, by working to spend time
together, you get to know one another.
The big problem that we face I think in WA especially, and I
know many of you and some of you are fly in, fly out situations
in your way and different jobs are in the Army and the Navy.
And that has a toll. It has a toll on the home
because then you have to really work on when you were together
again to work on spending time together.
And I'm not being just going to the shop together or down the
garage together. It's by working to spend time
together it means to like one another.
That's why you want to spend time together.
Time together is one of the most powerful means to achieve this
incarnation. Another major component to a
husband being 1 flesh and his wife practically is by listening
to her. I remember Helen, she had some
stats. I should have got him off her.
She did on a Tuesday morning. She was talking to the ladies
about how what one thing that wise wish number one their
husbands did listen. It was the top.
Someone said marriage is sometimes the dialogue of the
death. No one's listening.
Even the famous Harvard Business Review documented that 65% of an
executive's time, the best executive should be spent
listening, Proverbs 1813 says. Spouting off before listening to
the facts is both shameful and foolish.
So incarnational love, the one flesh has three things for the
husband spends time, listens, gives himself.
This is what Jesus did, isn't it?
Look at the life of Christ. He would just sit.
He meant I have. You know those three years He
was just sit and listening, wasn't he?
He would come to me and unload. He showed us how to love by His
love for the church. This is how Jesus lived.
But the greatest task for the husband is not only
incarnational. And lastly, it is sacrificial
because Jesus died for us, marriage is really the funeral
of our individual lives to change for the other person.
It's both a wedding and a funeral.
What did Jesus do? Philippians tells us He left
heaven for us. Think about that.
He left heaven for us, got up and changed his garments.
He put on the body of a man for us, laid aside his glory.
He became a servant for us, the king of kings, and he suffered
and died for us. This is marriage for a husband.
And guys, don't worry, this is the hardest message because my
wife's sitting in the front yard because she knows for a husband,
it's daily dying, daily dying. This is where your hand either
opens the door for blessing by your daily dying or you open the
door for the breakdown. Come and just destroy my home
and my marriage. Then you have the hand on the
door. It's it's that choice men that
you make at that moment when a decision comes your way and
it's, well, we have the opportunity or I can go and you
know, it's that moment because you know what, it's like you're
standing on the precipice. I'm going to, I know this is not
probably the right, but I'm going to go and do this.
It's at that moment you either bring the blessing or you just
go. Oh, thank you.
The added blessing for a husband who dies to his selfishness is
twofold, because there's more to this than just a marriage for
you as a husband, if you die daily, you know what you learn?
You learn to live for Christ each day.
You become a better believer or godly each day as an individual.
Secondly, you learn to give love to your wife that she can see is
actually real. Really loves me.
I know because he had a choice but he he didn't.
I understand this type of husband's love brings elevation
to the wings of your wife and exalts her and results in a
blessed marriage which brings heaven in the home.
Christian husbands, how can you reach and bless your wife as her
brother in Christ? Because you are her brother in
Christ. Practically, this is what we
must do 1 You must pray for her constantly.
Anyone, anyone. If you're a Christian and you
don't pray, it means you don't love anybody.
If you're a big praying person, it means you love the people you
pray for. Prayer is a sign of how much
we've we really realise we've been forgiven and understand the
wonderful love of God. Prayer is how we ventilate out
that love that we've received for others.
So you pray for her constantly. Secondly, you intercede for her
in prayer because you know her better.
God has enabled that in you. You are one flesh.
You know her more intimately than anyone else on the planet.
But if we are failing to love our wives, men, God says this.
I'll hinder your prayers. Don't bother praying.
So you might be doing all the other stuff and you're not
loving your wife. God says pray as much as you
like man. It's not happening and that's
what he says. Husbands likewise dwell with him
with understanding, giving honour to the wife as to the
weaker vessel, as being heirs together. 1 flesh of the grace
of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
If we are failing to live our wives, our prayers will be
hindered. The Bible says your prayers will
be extinct or pathetic at best. So your wife needs detailed
prayer, does she not? You know her upbringing.
You know the things that she's been through as a child, as a
before you got married and you knew him and you have to know
him. You know more, but also now you
know how busy and complex her life is.
Men, we take a lot for granted. I mean, every Sunday I get up,
Helen cooked my breakfast, I get my clothes ready, she gets
everything done around the house and I go off early.
She did that when we had the little kids too.
I'd be getting up doing stuff, get my notes together.
Helen's getting all the kids ready, get them all dressed, all
shower, all clean, all clothed and off they go.
How busy and complex is her life as your wife?
She's looking after you. You're a slob.
Secondly, she's your children's mother.
She's caring for your kids all the time.
Thirdly, she's the keeper of the house.
You go off and come home, bed's made, washing's done, tea's
ready to be eaten. I've had a tough I'll be mowing
the lawn fair bit, especially since it's fake grass.
Marriage can be the greatest, longest and most hurtful battle
on earth. OK, it can be a marriage made in
heaven, God tells us how to make it, or it can be hell in your
heart. 2 simple radical calls. One for the wife, one for the
husband. Submission, sacrificial love
both unto the Lord and both of them must have on their wardrobe
that we talked about. You got to be dressed that God
designed for us to wear, not your slovenly old way of living.
You got to be dressed right around the house.
The 2GO together. They are the two halves of a
whole Christian marriage. Both must go together.
A husband is a fool who demands submission of his wife, yet he
is not radically loving her equally.
It is ridiculous logic for a wife who is not submissive to to
demand such love. Your home, your marriage can be
a consistent battleground with tragic fatalities and wounded
souls, or a piece of heaven on earth, but it doesn't happen by
itself. God created it, He knows how it
works, He is there to help. And you and I, all of us
husbands and wives, can rely upon Him and call upon Him
everyday.