The Right by Parks and Fiction, Chapter 20 Pansy sipped her
wine, taking a few moments to appreciate the quiet before the
chaos descended on the pub in the form of another DA night.
It was going to be ugly. Whatever Katie Bell or Dennis
Creevy thought about her now was not shared by the rest of the DA
crew. She wasn't even sure if it had
been the night Dennis was almost arrested or back to her
evaluation with Potter. But any goodwill she'd earned
after the Gryffindor Slytherin Quidditch match was officially
gone. Alicia Spinette had literally
crossed the street last week rather than pass her on the
sidewalk. Several of the other DA members
who had picked up their outfits had been downright rude.
She had more than enough clients without them, and it wasn't as
if they weren't all just doing it for Neville anyway.
Still, it didn't mean it was going to make her night any
easier. Rather than head back to
Neville's home, she'd come straight to the pub after
closing the shop for the day. A glass or two of wine before
everyone else started arriving was exactly what she needed to
get through the night. Taking the High Road was not her
natural state. She tried not to think about how
low she'd sunk in her efforts to please Neville Longbottom, but
since their fight or whatever it was after Dennis had nearly been
arrested, she was trying. Let's grab this one here for
now. Her ears perked up at the
familiar voice in the booth behind her.
Had Jinny not seen her? Or was she ignoring her?
She had not had enough wine for this yet.
Merlin, it's been a long week. That was Padma.
She listened carefully, trying to figure out who else was there
as they all took turns complaining about their week and
their jobs. Maisie Reynolds and Susan Bones,
they switched to gossiping about who was and wasn't coming.
Apparently never can make it tonight.
Jinny said, her voice glum. Oh, that's great.
Maisie said. Not if he brings Pansy.
Jinny spat. I'm so fucking sick of trying to
be nice to her. Jinny had been trying to be nice
to her. Her people skills are needed
more than a little bit of work. Why do you have to break up with
Hannah? Jinny moaned.
She was perfect for him, sweet and funny and pretty, all things
Pansy wasn't. She took a swallow of wine.
I mean, come on, She said. Is Pansy actually that good of a
shag, Jinny? Padma said, attempting to scold
but sounding like she was holding back laughter.
What? She asked.
It's not like he married her for a personality.
Pansy ran a finger up and down the stem of her wine glass.
I love Neville, but he's still just a guy.
Yeah, but he married her, Padma said.
And you don't marry someone you don't care about unless you are
being manipulated, she said. Well, it's pretty obvious that
you were wrong about Pansy being pregnant.
No surprise, Wieselt had been one of the ones to believe that.
I think that we should give Neville a bit more credit, Padma
finished. She groaned.
Not when it comes to Pansy Parkinson, she said.
I can't believe he broke Hannah's heart for her.
Hannah broke up with him. Yeah, and then he got married,
what, five months later? Susan Bones asked. 6 actually,
not that anyone cared. I know that they were on again,
off again a lot. Susan continued, but she thought
they'd eventually end up together.
Neville too. She remembered the look on his
face, the way he drug his hand through his hair.
I always thought Hannah and I would eventually work things
out. I just just had to save Pansy
Parkinson from her well deserved fate of her own making.
Well, come June, they'd all get their wish and Neville would be
single again. She's been trying.
Maisie said, unexpectedly coming to her defence.
Jinny snorted. Did you know that she's still on
probation? White hot anger burst through
her. How fucking dare she?
Every six months she gets questioned by an aura.
Jinny said. They ask her every time if she
regrets yelling out to give Harry up in the Great Hall and
she doesn't. Do you believe that?
Fancy rotated her wine glass, watching the dark red liquid
roll. Robards assigned Harry this year
to be the examining aura, she said.
I thought it would finally get her to say she regrets it, so
they could finally stop wasting the department resources on her.
Pansy stared him straight in the eye and said she'd do it again
without hesitation. This was the closest she'd ever
come to regretting it. Thanks to Pansy.
Harry had to search Neville's whole house.
She said. Go through Neville's stuff to
make sure Pansy wasn't hiding anything illegal there.
Can you imagine how that made him feel?
How it made Potter feel? How about what it did to fucking
her? Neville's got a bloodlock on his
night stand. She continued.
Not even Pansy can get in. What kind of marriage can they
have if he has to hide things from his spouse with a fucking
bloodlock? Potter didn't have the same
concern of hiding kinks from his relatives for obvious reasons,
but if he had felt so bad about snooping through Neville's
house, why the fuck was he gossiping about what he found?
And poor Dennis goes out of his way to escort Astoria Green
Grass home after she kept him Guess where at Pansy's family
Manor until almost midnight one night and it sets off the most
obnoxious set of wards Harry's ever seen.
She doubted Dennis was complaining about why Astoria
was keeping him at her Manor near midnight.
If the oil department had done their jobs, she wouldn't have
needed to get Hermione and Theo on a competition to see who
could lay the strongest wards to protect her shop.
As if Harry doesn't already feel enough guilt over Colin's death,
he had to question his brother under verita serum.
Jinny continued. All because he tried to do a
good thing for a fucking Slytherin.
Actually, he was busy fucking a Slytherin, but Wieselert
probably wouldn't approve of that either.
At least the gossip was that Astoria forced Denis to work
late. That sounded like something her
father would approve of. And she word what she did to
Bravati, right? Ginny asked.
Cancelled her appointment twice in one week and showed up late
to Maisie's by 1 fucking minute. What was going to be enough for
them? She said she had a family
emergency. Maisie said she doesn't have any
family. They were wrong and right
because Alice wasn't truly her mother-in-law.
Plus, Padma saw her coming out of Madame Toussaint's salon with
a bag full of products. She did send Parvati a bottle of
wine. And I'm not apologizing.
Padma said she blew your sister off twice, then lied about an
emergency when she just wanted extra time to do her hair.
Jinny drawled. Unless the emergency was her
hair, though you'd think it'd look better by now.
Jinny. Padma said, her tone half
scolding, but she sounded like she was trying not to laugh as
well. She wanted Harry handed over to
Voldemort and doesn't regret it. I'm allowed to be petty.
Hermione likes her. Maisie said.
Hermione asked to be nice to her because of Draco.
She said. Honestly, I'm not sure what the
ferret sees in her either. He turned out to be a pretty
decent person. I don't know why Pansy couldn't
do the same. Why do you still call him
Ferret? Susan asked, laughing once.
It's funny, she said. If it actually bothered him, I'd
stop. Why forgive Draco and not Pansy?
Susan asked. Draco lied about recognizing
Harry to save him from Voldemort, Jinny said.
Draco spent an entire year of his apprenticeship making a
potion to heal cursed scars for Hermione and anyone else injured
during the war. Draco apologised to each and
every one of us. Draco gave up his family and his
fortune to be with Amaiani. Draco fucking Malfoy always
managed to end up on top no matter what he did.
Pansy wanted to turn Ari over to Voldemort.
Jinny continued. Pansy doesn't regret offering to
turn him over. Pansy is cruel and selfish and
self absorbed and Neville deserves so much better than
her. Hey Pansy.
Her head snapped up at the loud voice.
Liam stood over her otherwise empty booth, a look of concern
on his face. Jinny hadn't exactly been
careful with her volume. Liam must have heard her all the
way from the bar. What she couldn't tell was if he
was looking out for Jinny or for her.
Either way, the damage was done. She heard someone in the booth
behind her scrambling and then hello.
Oh fuck, can I get you another glass of wine?
Liam asked, his pity obviously directed at her.
She smiled at him. Actually, I just remembered I
was going to meet Neville at home first.
Liam tried to return the galleon she left for the drink.
It's on me tonight, Tip. Then she said, leaving them on
the table without looking anywhere but the floor.
She strode from the room, head high, an expression haughty.
The last thing that little Ginger and her friends were
going to see was that anything they said might have gotten to
her because she cared for them as little as they cared for her.
And when this whole thing with Neville was over, she would
never have to see them again. The lights were on at the house
when she arrived back. Neville was standing in front of
the closet in one of the new robes she'd got in him, holding
up two belts. Relief blossomed across his face
as soon as he saw her. Something twisted inside her
chest. When was the last time anyone
had been happy to see her? I forgot the rules about belts,
he said. I know it's black with black or
grey and brown with blue or Navy, but these are both brown.
He looked back at the belts, the look of utter confusion on his
face. I figured I should go dark brown
because the Navy is dark, but maybe it's a statement thing
with the lighter tan. She bit her lip to hold back her
smile. She didn't want him to think she
was laughing at him. But then I thought that I'm not
the type to be able to pull off a statement look, so I should
just go with the darker brown. He stood staring at the two of
them for several long moments. He glanced up at her and did a
double take. What?
He dropped them. How wrong was I?
Only a little bit. Stepping forward, she put her
hands on his chest and went up to her tip toes to kiss him.
He blinked down at her cheeks, blushing ever so slightly as a
small smile pulled at his lips. What was that for?
You being cute? His eyebrows drew together in a
mock frown. I am not cute.
He snaked his hands around her, holding her close.
What part was I wrong about that?
You couldn't pull off a statement piece?
He grinned. Really, there was something so
sweet and innocent about the bright, hopeful look in his
eyes. Jinny was right about her not
deserving him. So it was the tan belt?
No, definitely dark brown. His face fell.
I'm never going to get this. She smirked.
All right, enough laughing at me.
He said. You can pick out my cufflinks
and I'll be ready in a minute. Sliding her hands up his chest,
she grabbed his lapels. Or we could stay in tonight.
Much as she hated the thought of the Wieselt thinking she'd won,
she really couldn't face to night all the rest of those
sanctimonious hypocrites. Neville frowned.
Pansy, he said. They're my friends.
We spend Friday night with yours.
Staring up at him through her lashes, she gave him her
sultriest smile. You could punish me for it.
She refused to let herself think about why she wanted that to
night, why she felt she deserved it.
Something flickered in his gaze. Bansi.
He looked like he didn't want to say no, but was going to anyway.
She pressed herself further against his chest.
Please, Neville, she said. It's been so long since before
her evaluation with Potter. If he rejected her now, said he
didn't want her on top of everything with Wieselet at the
pub. Desperation didn't sit well in
her stomach. I'll do anything you want me to
tonight. Finally, she saw the wavering in
his face fade. The predatory gleam that always
made her weak in the knees sparked in his eyes.
Do you know what happens to Bratz, who tried to top from the
bottom? Pansy?
She smiled. Going to punish me for that too.
Maybe your punishment will be going another two weeks without
an orgasm. I've never gone two weeks
without an orgasm since I first learned how to finger myself.
His smirk was pure arrogance. Awe.
But it's not as good as when I do it, is it?
Before Neville, she would have just said an orgasm was an
orgasm. They had not taken long to learn
how wrong she was. Maybe I'll spank your arse until
it's bright red and you're dripping down your thighs and I
edge you until you beg and then stop.
He said. You said you wanted punishment,
right? His words made her shiver.
Yes, please. Twisting her, he walked her four
steps to the bed and bent her over it.
Every other time he'd spanked her, she'd been over his knee,
being thrown on the bed instead with the only point of contact,
the hand he pressed between her shoulder blades to hold her
down, made her feel dirty. Is Pansy actually that good of a
shag? It's not like he married her for
her personality. She slammed Wieselt's words from
her mind, trying to concentrate on the feel of Neville flipping
up her skirt, dragging her knickers down her legs.
Spread your legs wider. Awkward as it was, with her
upper half pinned to the bed, she took a step in either
direction. Neville leaned down close to her
face, his lips almost brushing her cheek.
If you think you will get a reward by pretending to be good
now, you're going to be very disappointed.
Pretending to be good because deep down, they both knew she
wasn't, never had been, and never would be.
You don't marry someone you don't care about unless you're
being manipulated. It wasn't as if she'd
orchestrated having Neville walk in on Pedro attacking her, but
if she'd know it would work, she would have done it in a
heartbeat. What do you say if you want this
to stop? Mercy, she said.
Yet another thing she didn't deserve.
Neville's hand landed sharply on her arse and she yelped, tears
immediately filling her eyes. It was like something unlocked
inside her, an excuse to finally let them start to fall.
Because she wasn't crying over Wieselt or anything she'd said
tonight, just the fact that she was getting her arse reddened by
Neville's hand. She squeezed her eyes shut, but
all she could see was the look on Potter's face when she told
him she would hand him over again without hesitation.
The look of betrayal from Neville's.
But she had to look out for herself.
No one else was going to. She doesn't have any family, not
Neville, not Alice. Hermione has to be noise to her
because of Draco. I'm not sure what the ferret
sees in her either. Even Daphne only came back into
her life because she needed something to her.
Tory would always, always come first.
Pansy was only ever a means to an end.
Neville's hand landed a second time as she bit down so hard on
her lip that she tasted blood. Cruel.
Who hadn't she been cruel to in school besides Draco?
Selfish. And that was only because she
needed something from him. He may have been using her, but
she'd used him for far longer, self absorbed.
Even when she was trying to save Hermione, trying to save Jinny,
she was thinking about herself, always thinking about herself.
Even tonight. All never wanted to do was see
his friends. And she'd manipulated him into
staying home because she didn't want to go, didn't want to face
the people she'd willingly tormented for years simply
because it amused her. Neville deserves so much better
than her. A sob finally broke free, and
she realized Neville no longer had her pinned to the bed.
She slid down the covers, collapsing into a pile on the
floor, covering her face with her hands.
She sobbed into her hands. Fuck, Bansi, are you OK?
I'm so sorry. Neville's hands roamed over her,
only making her sob harder. She did not deserve comfort, not
from anyone, but especially not this man.
Did I hurt you? His voice was panicked.
I'm so sorry, Pansy. I didn't think I was doing it
any harder than normal. I.
Her body heaved with the force of her sobs.
She didn't deserve it, but she reached for him anyway.
Just to lay her hand on his chest and feel another heart
beating. His hands stopped her, gently
cupping her face and holding it up for his inspection.
He ran a thumb over her where her lips stung.
Fuck, you're bleeding Merlin, Pansy, now I'm so sorry.
His face blurred with the force of her tears pouring from her
eyes. I'm sorry.
Her words were a wet, garbled mess.
I'm so sorry, Neville. So, so sorry.
What? He breathed.
I know I'm a bitch, she sobbed. I know it, I do.
I just. I'm sorry, Neville.
I'm sorry, Pansy, he said, his voice low and firm.
Did I hurt you? She shook her head, unable to
form words. No, Neville didn't hurt people.
OK. Resting his back against the
bed, he pulled her onto his lap. Come here.
She curled up against him, shaking from the force of her
sobs. He ran his hand up and down her
back in long, slow, soothing strokes.
It's OK, he said. You're OK.
What was OK? How she'd treated him, treated
everyone her entire life. How she'd mocked him and used
him and manipulated him. It's not, she sobbed.
I'm not. I'm sorry.
Whatever it was, I forgive you, he said.
You're OK, Pansy, We're OK. How could he say that?
Think that she'd ruined everything in his life.
The longer she stayed, the more she would mess things up for
him. But she couldn't, wouldn't stop
this. Not until she got what she
needed. Because in the end, that's what
she was. Selfish and self absorbed.
You're OK, Pansy, He said again. We're OK.
She let herself cling to him for a little bit longer, let herself
be weak and selfish, let herself use him just a little bit more
to get the smallest hint of comfort she was so desperately
craving. When her sobs finally stilled,
when she finally cried every last tear, Neville pulled away
just enough to look at her face. His face was lined with concern.
Did I hurt you? She shook her head, feeling the
tears well up again. No, you didn't, she said.
I'm sorry, you can't do that again, Pansy, he said, his voice
firm. The most important piece of all
of this is trust. If I can't trust you, it's a
safe word. When things get too much, this
is over. A pang of panic shot through
her. She swiped at her cheeks with
her sleeves. It it wasn't too much, you
weren't doing it harder than normal.
I'm not just talking about when you reach your limit physically.
He said. Emotions are a big part of this
too, and if things are getting too much emotionally, you need a
safe word then too, do you understand?
She nodded. I won't do it again, I promise.
If you feel like you need to punish yourself for something,
talk to me about it. He said.
You can't let me do things blind like that.
It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me.
I'm sorry. He let out a long sigh.
What happened today? She stared down at her lap.
I don't want to talk about it. Was it something you did, or
something someone else did? Shame and rage coursed through
her. Of course, he'd guessed she'd
done something wrong based on all the years they'd known each
other. What other evidence was there to
the contrary? Pansy, what is it he said?
What is it? What did I say?
Someone said something rude, That's all she said.
I probably deserved it. Everyone else always picked
Ginny Weasley above her. Why would Neville be any
different? Nor you didn't.
She stared at her hands. She couldn't do this.
Listen to him defend her. Because the moment he found out
what happened, and he would, he'd take it all back.
Find a way to blame her for what Jinny said.
Because in the end, didn't they all think she deserved it
anyway? No one deserves to be treated
poorly, he said. I'm sorry for whatever was said.
All things he'd said in more or less words the entire time
they'd been together. What do you need?
Exhaustion weighed heavy in her bones.
It was as if she sobbed out any of the energy left inside her.
Probably just go to bed, OK? He helped her up, healed her lip
and arse, poured her a full glass of water and made her
drink It got ready for bed in tandem with her locking up,
turning off all the lights as she crawled into bed.
The sheets were cold, the bed was too wide and empty.
She felt Neville's absence like a missing limb.
Rather than go back to the guest room, Neville entered his.
Without a word, he pulled back the covers on his side and slid
into bed next to her. Her breath caught as he wrapped
an arm around her and pulled her close, holding her back against
his warm and naked chest. Just for tonight, he said.
If you want. Her lip trembled.
She bit it to hold back the tears.
Is it OK, Pans? Yes.
She whispered, hoping her voice sounded stronger than she felt.
Neville, thank you. Sitting up, he pressed a kiss to
her cheek before he settled back behind her, holding her close
up. Rating back to Hogsmeade at the
end of the day. A sense of warm relief spread
through her as soon as she saw the bright lights shining from
the cottage. Neville was home early tonight.
She'd been practising a few of the other recipes in the book.
Maybe there would be time to whip up something for the both
of them to eat together. It had been a long day.
She spent most of it on edge, trying not to jump every time
the bell chimed as someone entered the shop.
But an entire day had gone by and there had been no Jinny
Weasley, no Padma Patil, no Susan Bones, no Maisie Reynolds,
just her appointments and walk in customers.
She'd have to face them again, probably sooner than she would
like, but she didn't want to be accosted at her place of
business. Neville was sitting at the
kitchen table, holding a glass of fire whiskey.
It looked like he'd barely drunk a drop of it.
He rolled it around on the bottom rim, lost in thought.
Hey, she said, smiling. Are you hungry?
I've been working on a couple of other recipes.
His gaze snapped up, and she trailed off.
She could count on one hand the number of times she'd seen him
that furious, and considering how often she'd pissed him off,
that was saying something. Listen, she began.
About last night. I.
He let out a low chuckle and she flinched.
There wasn't a drop of humour in his tone.
Her stomach twisted. What was this?
Last night, when she was a wreck, she got comfort and
sweetness, got a single night without being alone in her bed.
And today was the lecture, when she finally got to hear how
ashamed he was, how furious he was, how he wasn't going to
touch her again. Interesting.
You should bring that up, he said.
When were you going to tell me that Ginny was the one who made
you cry? Fucking Ginny Weasley, of course
this was about her, wasn't it? Always.
Stiffening her spine, she met his gaze.
Who told you? His eyes narrowed.
Why wasn't it you? Because hearing him defend Jinny
after everything she said would have shattered her beyond
repair, and still might if she had to listen to it now.
Aiming for a casual flippancy, she hung up her cloak and hat.
Don't tell me I missed her coming by the house to
apologise. She let out a small sigh.
Guess I'll have to wait another night.
Can't deny I'm looking forward to having the tables turned.
She strode into the kitchen. Her appetite was gone, but she
needed to do something with her hands.
Don't do that. Neville said, turning his chair
to face her. Don't pretend like this was
nothing. Gripping the edge of the sink,
she stared down into it rather than meet his gaze.
You were hurt and upset last night.
And rather than tell me you used your body to manipulate me into
staying home even after our conversation last week, when I
said I never wanted you to do that, that wasn't what it was,
she said. I thought I wanted it.
He didn't seem to hear her. So instead I had to find out
from Harry fucking Potter what happened when he showed up after
my last class today to explain the situation.
She shouldn't have spent so much time worrying about Jenny or
anyone showing up at her work. It was yet another double
standard by the sanctimonious hypocrites.
Because when she was wrong, she had to humiliate herself and
grovel. But like the mature adult which
she was, Ginny Potter just got to send her husband to explain
things on her behalf. And not even to Pansy directly,
but to Neville, then to pass along to her.
Some people never really outgrew their schoolroom, apparently.
Jinny had a rough day at practice and was just letting
off some steam and never would have said anything if she'd have
known you were listening and felt so badly this morning that
she couldn't even eat breakfast. Of course, of fucking course
they would make this about Jinny and how she felt.
Mercy. The word slipped past her lips.
But sweet sellers are. If there was a time she ever
needed it, it was now. Please, just mercy.
She heard him rise from the chair and take a few steps
towards her. What?
She didn't look up from the sink, trying to hold back her
tears. You said the safe word wasn't
just for physical, it was for when things get too much
emotionally too. And I can't, Neville, this was
making her sick. I can't listen to another man
put Chinny Weasley before me again.
Not tonight, not ever. But that didn't feel like an
option. So just just give me the silent
treatment or whatever else for like a week.
You can lecture me then. Just Just not tonight, OK?
If she had a better chance to prepare herself to not be so raw
from what had happened between them last night, she'd be able
to handle it better. Or at least not breakdown,
sobbing and begging. Reaching out, he rested his hand
over where hers gripped the sink.
I promise I will respect it if you really need to stop, but I'm
worried you're misunderstanding the situation.
Of course, of course. The one time she actually was
vulnerable enough to ask him to stop and told him why he'd push.
Because it was Jinny Weasley, wasn't it?
I'm pissed as hell at Jinny. For a moment, her entire world
froze. Lifting her head, she stared at
him in disbelief. He still looked furious, but
something in his gaze had softened.
She is the one who was in the wrong last night.
He said. I'm so pissed off at her for it,
and Harry for that bullshit today, and whoever else was
there last night and didn't stop it.
He reached out, swiping a tear off her cheek.
She hadn't even noticed fall. And if you want or need to stop
this discussion, I promise that it can be it for tonight.
But I need you to know that you were not in the wrong.
It was Jinny, and she made it worse by sending Harry to me
instead of coming to you directly and apologising.
Leaning forward, she pressed her face into his chest.
He stepped forward, pulling her in tighter and wrapping his arms
around her. For a few long minutes she just
stood there, letting him hold her.
When she finally pulled away, she swiped to her cheeks,
brushing away the moisture. Second fucking time in two days
she'd let Neville see her cry. Do you still need to be done
with this conversation tonight? He asked gently, knowing he was
on her side. She wanted it over with.
No, OK. Taking her hand, he LED her to
the couch. He didn't let go as he sat close
to her, his thighs brushing hers.
Will you tell me what she said? No.
She looked down at their entwined fingers.
Don't really want to relive it, OK?
Just like that, he let it drop. Who else was there?
Padma, Susan and Maisie. Did they say things too?
Not really. Mosley just laughed with Jinny,
although Padma and Maisie had clearly been gossiping about her
before. Did you just offer yourself to
me last night because you thought it was the only way I
would stay home? That made her lift her head.
No, she said. I thought I wanted it.
Why? She shrugged.
Take my mind off what happened. That wasn't the full truth,
though. She looked back down at her
hands. And part of me thought that I
deserved it. That's not what this is, he
said. You can't cross that line again,
Pansy. She thought of the panic in his
voice the night before, when he thought he'd hurt her, guilt
worming its way through her. This was as much about him as it
was her. I won't, she said.
I promise. He squeezed her hands.
Thank you. She nodded.
What do you mean when you said you can't stand another man
putting Jinny before you? She squeezed her eyes shut, But
there was no point in fighting it now, and Neville hadn't taken
Jinny or Harry's word their side against hers.
Maybe he would believe her now. So she started at the beginning.
We're dying off, she said. Pure bloods.
He frowned. The war, both of them were huge
parts of that. But it's also ancient family
blood, curses and intermarrying, and who all even knows?
She said. Blood purists talk a big talk,
but the fact is that something is drying up.
Maybe even their magic itself. Almost every one of the most
powerful magicians of the past century were half bloods.
But to admit that their fundamental beliefs were wrong?
That would never happen. Even now, Lucius Malfoy clung to
his rotten beliefs rather than accept his son.
Aside from the black sisters, one of whom never had a child
and two of whom nearly died in childbirth, there is not a
sacred 28 bearing that has more than one child. 2 tops in
generations, she said. Except for the Pruitt's.
Neville inhaled sharply. Pruitt's women are unnaturally
fertile, she said. Look at Molly Weasley, six sons
in the eyes of the pure blooded Wizards who care about their
legacies and blood purity above all else.
There is nothing more they desire.
And Jinny is her daughter. She nodded.
It was well known in the circles that if Jinny Weasley was
captured for any reason, she was not to be maimed or permanently
injured in any way, couldn't damage the goods.
But the question of which one of the Dark Lords supporters would
get her, that was a debate, she said.
Sacred 28 members obviously had the edge.
The issue of course, was who was going to be able to control her
and that was where her father specialised.
My father was too much of A coward for open battle, she
said. Hardly LED any raids.
He was far too down the line of command to get her talk.
Was that it would be Avery or Robustion.
The strange Neville looked sick. Learning one of his friends
would have been given as a war prize to be bred was bad enough.
Knowing it could have been one of the men responsible for the
torture of his parents was another.
But my father had something no one else did, she said.
A way to control her. The right he breathed.
The Dark Lord wanted proof it would work, she said.
So on my 17th birthday, when I was presented to him, my father
extolled the virtues of the Parkinson line, of the control
Parkinson men had over their women.
What he did to my mother when she objected to me undergoing
the same thing someday, and then made her swear the blood oath
that sealed her fate before me. You just got disowned if you
were unmarried at 25. Wouldn't do to have a spinster
draining family resources, but to win Ginny Weasley.
My father had me swear the oath. Neville rose from the couch and
started pacing. It grew from there, she said
once he had the Dark Lord's guarantee he could have Ginny.
My father knew he needed to appease the men who were furious
he got her over them, so he developed plans for a breeding
programme. Neville froze, gaping at her.
Any pure blood or half blooded girls who fought for the Order
would be put into it, provided they were still virgins.
She said Father would do the preparation rights and then
assign each girl to the Dark Lord's closest supporters who
still didn't have sons. She didn't like to think about
what would have happened to the women who weren't virgins.
She hadn't been lying when she said that those who had been
murdered right away would have been the lucky ones.
I hate Ginny Weasley, she said. I always have.
Maybe it's all petty reasons, like how she's Florida State
beautiful and has a family who loves her and six brothers who
would do anything for her. How she struts around like she
can do no wrong. How everyone seems to worship
the ground she walks on, How fucking perfect every part of
her life was. I probably hate her more today
than I ever have. And yet she looked down her
hands. I don't hate anyone enough to
leave them to that fate. Given the chance, she would
still make the exact same decision.
So when the Dark Lord demanded that we turn over Potter, it was
the easiest fucking choice of my life, She said.
Yell out that I'd found him, order someone to grab him and
hand him over, knowing that more than 3/4 of that room would die
before doing so. Fifty of them had.
And if Potter didn't triumph, if the worst happened and the Dark
Lord won, I was going to ask for Granger, she said.
Even if it was only for a year or a few months before McNair
got her for his plans. I just needed to buy us time for
Granger to figure out how to get us out.
And not to escape with her and Draco, but with Ginny and all
the other girls your father had trapped at the estate.
Neville finished. She couldn't look at him, didn't
know what he thought of her story, if he believed it or not.
Draco too, she said. He would have helped Malfoy.
Men are like Dragons. Words her aunt had drilled into
her head. What do you mean?
Temperamental, wealthy, aristocratic hoarders, she said.
But they fiercely guard their treasure, and to a Malfoy man,
there is no greater treasure than his woman.
Is that why you wanted Draco to complete the right so much?
She laughed. I was never his, she said.
Ever. I tried so hard to make myself
everything he wanted. She'd never been a particularly
nice person, but doubted she would have given Potter or
Weasel or Granger the time of day if Drago hadn't been so
obsessed with bullying them. That, of course, was my mistake,
she said. There's nothing men want more
than what they're told they can't have.
From the moment she'd waltzed into the Yule Ball on Victor
Crumb's arm, there was nothing Draco Malfoy wanted more than
Hermione Granger. The thing was, she didn't care.
Didn't care that he loved someone else.
Wanted someone else. Even before the blood oath, her
options were slim. But even if she wasn't the one
he loved, if Draco married her, he would have protected her.
With him, she would have been free even if she wasn't who he
wanted. It wasn't like he'd ever been
able to marry a muggle born anyway, so if he was going to be
miserable, maybe it would be better with a friend who
understood. She may not have wanted him back
until recently, but Hermione was Draco's.
She said there is nothing he wouldn't have done for her.
Still isn't. Why?
Why haven't you told anyone this?
Neville demanded. How can you let them treat you
the way they do? When she laughed once, I was
going to tell them, you know? She said.
Spend my weeks in Azkaban plotting it out.
It's not like there'd been anything better to do.
Even without the Dementors, the cold, barren stone fortress had
been a thing of nightmares. Finally, it was the day of my
trial and they went through all the same questions you heard
Potter ask me, she said. He was there, apparently came to
every single trial. She looked down at her hands.
As soon as he heard me say I would have given him up again,
he stood up and walked out, she said.
It was supposed to be my moment where they gave me a chance to
mount my own defence. The same white heart anger she'd
felt that day burned through her.
Where I said exactly what my father had planned for Ginny
after the war, what McNair was going to do to Hermione, She
spat. How whilst almost all of those
fucking cowards on the Wisengemot fled Britain the
moment the Ministry fell, I was still there, trapped in an
absolute nightmare. How I made a plan, positioned
myself perfectly to be able to save the fucking Golden Girl,
Hermione Granger and Harry Potter's girlfriend, and merely
knows who else from a fate worse than death.
She drew in a shuddering breath, trying to compose herself.
And instead they moved straight on to sentencing.
She said. Read some letter from Mcgonigal
about how I was young and misguided and deserved a lighter
sentence and so they gave me an indefinite probation until I
showed remorse and I was shown out.
Mcgonigal hadn't even bothered to show up in person.
She shook her head. If there is one thing in my life
I swear I will never fucking regret, it is what I did in the
Great Hall that night. Neville stared at her.
She looked past him towards the kitchen, where his untouched
fire whiskey still sat waiting. And yeah, I was going to use
Hermione to force Draco to marry me and complete the right.
Tears burned in her eyes. And maybe that makes me a
horrible person, but she drew in a shuddering breath.
I was going to dry to save them. Is it, is it so bad that I
wanted to save myself too? No.
Her eyes started burning and she squeezed them shut, never
crossed the room, his hands resting on her shoulders.
No, it wasn't wrong to want to save yourself.
He said you deserved to be saved too.
She fell forward, head dropping against his chest.
You did right Pansy, he said. You did good.
A sob escaped her. He held her close, wring a hand
up and down her back. You need to tell them, he said.
They deserve to gnaw and you deserve to have everyone know
what you are going to do. So fucking naive.
If they didn't listen to me then what makes you think they are
going to believe me after I've had 6 1/2 years to concoct a
story? I believe you.
Yeah, but you also bought dried doxy droppings from Harold
Dingell 5th year because you believed it was powdered dragon
claw. He snorted.
I did not. She pulled back to look at him.
You didn't? No, he said.
Where did you hear that? She tried to remember.
Hermione put it in a prefix report that she confiscated it.
Maybe he hadn't managed to sell it to anyone yet.
I guess we just assumed it was you.
He flicked her nose. Brat.
She smirked. I thought you liked that about
me. He smiled.
Maybe. His eyes darted all over her
face, taking it in. His expression grew sombre once
more. That's why you haven't lied to
get off probation. He said.
So they'll believe you if you ever do tell them.
That was the plan. Wait for a year when an aura
asked her why. But for the past 13 times, no
one had. You need to tell Jinny.
What good would that ever do? But she wasn't going to keep
fighting. All right, she said.
If she asks, I'll tell her. And since Jinny would never
demean herself to ask, it was an easy thing to promise.
He looked as if he knew exactly what she was thinking, but let
it go. He gave her a soft smile.
Do you want to go somewhere and grab something to eat?
She gave him a sly smile. Neville Longbottom, she said.
Aren't you asking me out on a date?
The corner of his mouth rose and a half smile.
Of course not, he said. I just remembered you threatened
to cook when you came home, and I don't want to get food
poisoning. Food poisoning?
She knew she wasn't winning any awards for her cooking, but she
thought he'd actually enjoyed it last time.
She looked down at the hideous combination of brown mustard and
Forest Green of his jumper. Right, Pansy, I'm sorry, he
said. I didn't mean no, she said,
forcing a smile to her face. You're right, I'm sure it's only
a matter of time. No, it's not, he said.
I'm sorry, I wanted to do something nice for you and then
I tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, but I was an
arse. I'm sorry, she glanced up at
him. I loved what you made last
night, he said. You're a really good cook.
No, I'm not. No, it was amazing.
I I'm not a good cook, Neville, she said.
It took me 5 tries to make that one dish.
I was never taught how to cook or how to take care of myself,
just how to win a man who could do it for me.
His face hardened. Teaching myself how to cook it,
I don't know it, she said. It's something I can do for
myself, take care of myself, prove I'm not helpless.
The corner of Neville's mouth rose.
Helpless is the last thing you could ever be, he said.
If you put your mind to it, there's nothing you couldn't do.
She was no stranger to the warm glow she got anytime Neville
complimented or praised her, but tonight it felt different,
Stronger. Still not entirely convinced.
I'll wake up one day and you'll be ruling us all.
She laughed. That's how you lighten the mood.
Oh, that wasn't a joke. He nuzzled her neck.
You know how much I like getting on my knees for you.
Her breath caught. He pulled back and smirked.
I love what you cooked last time, and I'd love to try
anything else that you want to cook as well.
He said. However, tonight I would like to
do something nice for you. Can I take you out to dinner?
She tried unsuccessfully to fight her smile.
OK, He beamed. Great.
She started plucking some of the pills off his jumper.
But if we're going out in public, you will need to change,
right? He said.
Wouldn't want to publicly shame you.
Exactly. She extracted herself from his
arms and sauntered towards the bedroom.
Are they something out for you? I'd expect nothing less.