1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,600 If after church today you were to hop in your car and your 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,960 husband were to look at you and here to say, listen, here's the 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,800 plan, I am going to drive for the next 45 minutes with my eyes 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,720 closed. Would you stay in the car? 5 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:21,120 If the answer was yes, take less stupid pills. 6 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,920 Here's my question. Do you have an aspirational 7 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,400 vision for your family or an actual vision for your family? 8 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,960 An aspirational vision is one that you dream about, you hope 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,520 for. But an actual vision is 10 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,760 something you work towards. It shapes your decisions. 11 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,920 It serves as a budget for how you're going to allocate your 12 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:49,120 time and your resources. It determines roles and 13 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,520 responsibilities. And if that question was not 14 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,160 heavy enough, there's another one. 15 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,080 Does the vision that you have for your family aligned with the 16 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,840 vision that God has for your family? 17 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,800 Today we are in week two of our sermon series, Lovers and Land 18 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,080 Mines. Last week we learned that there 19 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,320 are land mines everywhere and they exist in every 20 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,720 relationship. So while being a Christian, it 21 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:23,040 will keep you from some land mines, but it will not keep you 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,800 from all of the land mines. And so when you come across a 23 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,200 landmine, you don't have to step on it. 24 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,440 And if you need to remove it, if you use the wrong tools to try 25 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,440 to defuse it, you can make matters even worse. 26 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,400 And your marriage and your family has an enemy. 27 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,160 Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy. 28 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,120 But the good news is Jesus has come that you and I might have 29 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,720 life and have it abundantly. That's where we get the phrase 30 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,080 God's way is the best way because God has a plan for you. 31 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,760 And I want to welcome all of our different campuses, those of you 32 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,480 watching online and inside. And in just a few weeks, we're 33 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,000 going to have some incredible guest communicators here because 34 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,920 I'm going to be taking a group of people from our church to 35 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,160 Greece. And so while I'm there, for 36 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,639 those of you who are going, hey, I'd like to see Greece without 37 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:14,480 having to pay to go to Greece, you can follow me on Instagram. 38 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,200 So while we're going around the Mediterranean Sea and we're 39 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,960 talking about all the stuff that's happening in the book of 40 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,280 Acts and part of the New Testament, if you're going, hey, 41 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,360 I'd like to go without having to go. 42 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,880 That's how you can go. And I, I'm not a great poster 43 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,680 because you kind of know how I feel about social media, but I'm 44 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,320 going to at least try to be whatever a person on social 45 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,240 media does for like those 12 days. 46 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,520 So if you're the kind of person who wants to watch, that's where 47 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,600 you can do it. Now, I need to kind of frame 48 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,120 this message for a couple of reasons. 49 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,880 When we wrote the series, it was because I wanted to take you all 50 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:56,880 through premarital counseling. So I need you to kind of see 51 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,360 this series through that lens. And you're going. 52 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,480 But Clayton, I'm already married. 53 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:09,960 And so I have #2 if you're already married, turn to your 54 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:15,840 spouse and say, hold on, this sermon's going to hurt. 55 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:26,280 So if it hurts, if at some point in the message, you go, this 56 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:31,240 kind of sucks, I don't want the kids coming after you to feel 57 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,760 the same way. You're going to feel everybody. 58 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,200 OK? OK, last thing, everybody just 59 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,680 take a deep breath. We're going to get through it. 60 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,840 God designed the family to do 4 main things. 61 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:52,960 One, to prepare the family for godliness. 2 To prepare them for 62 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:58,000 future roles in the family. That means that not only is your 63 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,640 family designed to help you become more like Jesus, your 64 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,600 family is also designed to help you raise a good future husband, 65 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:09,280 a good future father, a good future mom, a good future wife. 66 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,840 3 To prepare them for future roles in the Kingdom. 67 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,880 We want our family to do the things of God and to be about 68 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,920 the things of God when they get older And four, to prepare them 69 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,320 for future roles in society. And depending on which news 70 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:31,400 channel you watch, you are keenly aware that some we, we 71 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,920 may not be hitting #4 and we might be missing numbers 1-2 and 72 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,840 three. And so God uses the family to 73 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:43,120 prepare us for godliness. Just like marriage, being in a 74 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,440 family sanctifies us. It helps us to destroy the idols 75 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,520 in our lives. It exposes our sin and our 76 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:54,680 selfishness. And God uses parenting to teach 77 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,440 us. You will learn a lot about God 78 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:02,480 as a parent. You will learn a lot about God 79 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,440 as a child. Proverbs 22 verse 6 has this to 80 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,600 say. Start children off on the way 81 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,640 they should go and when they are old, they will not turn from it. 82 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,600 Some of you, you grew up in a maybe a different environment, 83 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,840 you heard it a little bit differently. 84 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,120 You heard train your child in the way that they should go. 85 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,520 There are a couple of things to kind of point out here. 86 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:27,040 The first one is that we need to start earlier than we probably 87 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:33,000 think. We want our kids to experience 88 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:38,440 what I call accelerated maturity, not delayed maturity. 89 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:43,640 Accelerated maturity would be a 13 year old acting like a 19 90 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,600 year old. That would be awesome. 91 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,840 Some of you would like to skip 13 altogether. 92 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:55,040 I would like to have an 11 year old, a 12 year old, and maybe a 93 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,400 14 year old, right? I don't want a 13 year old or a 94 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,280 15 year old. I'd like him to skip it. 95 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Accelerated maturity helps them to get through the stupid years 96 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,440 faster. There's other people who have 97 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:12,080 delayed maturity. They're a 30 year old who acts 98 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:16,080 like a 17 year old. You guys, maybe you've married 99 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,600 them. You want accelerated maturity. 100 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:24,920 Starting implies early, and if you wait until you're sending 101 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:29,600 out graduation invitations to prepare your kids for godliness 102 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,480 and life, you have waited too long. 103 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,120 This is why so many parents overly invest in the lives of 104 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:43,920 their married children. You can't let go because you did 105 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:49,200 not fully train and equip. Second thing to notice is that 106 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,840 this is not natural. Training implies that this is 107 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:58,360 not second nature for us. We are taking on the sinful 108 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,840 nature. We are taking on the flesh and 109 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:06,120 we are trying to drive it out of our kids to make room for the 110 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:10,440 ways of God in their lives. We have to train for it. 111 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:17,280 And the third thing is as parents in the home, we are to 112 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:27,640 direct them in the way that they should go, not the way they want 113 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:33,560 to go. One of the land mines and 114 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:38,680 parenting is that they put kids in the driver's seat. 115 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:44,840 And if you have ever taken a 15 year old or a 16 year old in a 116 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:49,640 car when they're learning to drive, you know that that is a 117 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,680 moment where a lot of people find an intimate personal 118 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:59,240 relationship with Jesus Christ. Deuteronomy, how are we supposed 119 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,520 to do this? Deuteronomy chapter 6 verses 5 120 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,920 through 9 gives us some insight. Love the Lord your God with all 121 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,840 your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. 122 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,800 This is or God talking. These commandments that I give 123 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:17,480 you today are to be on your hearts, impress them on your 124 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,800 children. Talk about them when you sit at 125 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,360 home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and 126 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,240 when you get up. In other words, when you're at 127 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,640 the house, at the dinner table, you should be talking about 128 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,880 this, talking about the things of God when you're driving them 129 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,159 to school, when you're picking them up. 130 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,799 You're talking about Jesus when you're getting them out of bed 131 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:38,080 and when you're putting them to bed, tie them as symbols on your 132 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,320 hands. Bind them on your foreheads. 133 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,679 Write them on the door frames of your houses. 134 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,040 This is where Hobby Lobby makes their whole marketing appeal. 135 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,320 Put Jesus everywhere and on your gates, he sang. 136 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,120 Surround them with the ways of God. 137 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,480 Train them in the Lord and in his commands. 138 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,480 You guys have heard me talk about this before. 139 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:04,160 I have a very rigid prayer that I pray over my family. 140 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,640 My prayer when I'm taking my kids to school, almost every 141 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,400 single, I mean every day I take them to school, I pray this 142 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,760 prayer. If we pick up neighbor kids, 143 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,400 neighbor kids are hearing this prayer. 144 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,680 Heavenly Father, help my kids to grow up to love you with all 145 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,000 their heart, mind, soul, and strength, and help them to 146 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,920 embrace the Great Commission to make disciples of all nations. 147 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,400 Help them to be leaders of others and followers of you, and 148 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,560 help them to find a spouse who will love you and love them 149 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,880 well. And if God answers those 150 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:35,080 prayers, my heart will be full. I don't care if they're sick. 151 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,680 I don't care if they're happy. I don't care if they're wealthy. 152 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,280 I care that they are in Christ and that they are in a 153 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:47,400 relationship with people who are in Christ and that they are 154 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,520 committed to the things of Christ because no matter what 155 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:55,840 you're going through, if Christ is in you, you're going through. 156 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,600 Now you can take about all of the issues of life, all the 157 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,480 major concerns that I just talked about, and you can find 158 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:11,320 them solved or resolved in that prayer and in that passage. 159 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:16,640 You know what this is? This is a vision for your 160 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:21,160 family. Proverbs 22 verse or 29 verse 18 161 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,360 has this to say. Where there is no revelation, 162 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:31,240 people cast off restraint, but blessed is the one who heeds 163 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:35,600 wisdoms instruction. You may have heard it 164 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,320 differently. Where there is no vision, the 165 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,480 people perish. So let me ask the question 166 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:46,120 again, do you have a vision for your family? 167 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,080 Because if you do not have a vision for your family, the 168 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,680 people perish. There is no wisdom to heed, 169 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,280 which means there will be no blessing. 170 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,120 Tougher question, does the vision that you have for your 171 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,080 family align with the vision that God has for your family? 172 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,520 And are you training for that vision? 173 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,400 So what I want to do for just a little bit of time is I want to 174 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:21,960 talk about some basic, simple steps that you can take towards 175 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,040 living this out in your life and in your home. 176 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:30,240 And in order to do that, we need to see and recognize how God 177 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:35,280 creates and forms a family and the boundaries that he places 178 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,040 around it. So let's talk about the very 179 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,120 first family, the one that God put together. 180 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,440 Genesis chapter 2 verse 20 goes like this. 181 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,320 But for Adam, a no suitable helper was found. 182 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,400 So the Lord God caused the caused the man to fall into a 183 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,720 deep sleep. And while he was sleeping, he 184 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,480 took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with 185 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,040 flesh. Then the Lord God made woman 186 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,360 from the rib he had taken out of the man and he brought her to 187 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,440 the man and the man said, this is now bone of my bones and 188 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,920 flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for 189 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,320 she was taken out of man. This is like Hebrew slam poetry 190 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:19,120 right here. And that is why a man leaves his 191 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:24,320 father and his mother and is united to his wife, and they 192 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:30,080 become one flesh. Everybody say 11 flesh. 193 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,240 Now, women, real quick, don't get too spun out here about you 194 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,640 getting made a helper. Like did I just get made a maid? 195 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,040 Kind of, but not really. The word helper is the same word 196 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,240 that is used of God over and over again in the Old Testament 197 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,320 when He comes to the aid of His people in dire circumstances. 198 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:51,720 And if that terminology of helper is not a bad descriptor 199 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,240 of God, it can't be a bad descriptor of you. 200 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,560 And then this is so. This is not a less than 201 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:03,720 statement, but it is a description of a beautiful role 202 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:06,480 that you are invited to step into. 203 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:11,640 Let's keep diving in. So women are this helper to the 204 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:17,200 family, this special helper. There is also a leaving of the 205 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:21,360 former family to the creation of the new family. 206 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:29,160 So when our daughter Kennedy got married, we did not get a son at 207 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,960 all. We're not saying, hey, welcome 208 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,440 to the family. You're not in my family. 209 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,560 You and her have a family. We love you. 210 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:40,840 We care for you. We're with you. 211 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,080 We're not kicking. You know we're not. 212 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,880 We don't hate you, but you are your own family. 213 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,080 He got a wife. We didn't get a son. 214 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:54,720 They are their very own. Many parents cause a lot of harm 215 00:13:55,880 --> 00:14:01,880 because they do not allow their kids to start their own family. 216 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,640 Let me show you what this looks like. 217 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,920 You end up doing all the former family traditions instead of 218 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,280 allowing them to start their own. 219 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:16,640 You have 10 Christmases you have to go to to accommodate all the 220 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:20,280 other family traditions of the other families. 221 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:24,680 And so your family's tradition gets last place. 222 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,240 When you start your family, you have to put up a boundary for 223 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,160 your new family. And that means at times you're 224 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,720 going to have to put your old family at a distance. 225 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,680 Clearest example, when people are in my office for premarital 226 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,800 counseling, I go. There's going to be a time when 227 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,480 problems show up in your marriage. 228 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,600 When problems show up in your marriage, who are you going to 229 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:55,440 call? And if they say they're mom, I 230 00:14:55,440 --> 00:15:01,440 go because I don't care how spiritual your mom is. 231 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,360 And I'm not listening. Moms, I'm not being plain mean. 232 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,960 Today. You need somebody who will root 233 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,600 for the marriage, not their child. 234 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,880 You want to know my family? Thanksgivings and Christmases 235 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,800 get a little funky because the ma or because the wife called 236 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,760 the mom to tell her about all the bad things that the husband 237 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,320 did that did and then when he shows up, she doesn't want to be 238 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,160 nice to him. I got to pull you aside and have 239 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,720 a conversation with you. So here's how it works in my 240 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,360 marriage. In my marriage, you you, I 241 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,960 present a list of people that hey Jennifer, if you don't like 242 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,240 the way things are going and you can't get through to me, here's 243 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,760 a list of people that I'm OK with you calling or Jennifer can 244 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,240 come to me with. Here's a list of people I would 245 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,880 like to call. I get a pick out of the list of 246 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,520 people that she puts forth. Who's the person I'm OK with? 247 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,360 Because I want somebody who is going to love me but root for 248 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,440 us. Love her, but root for us. 249 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,720 You want to know why people get so much divorce advice? 250 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,200 Because they're talking to somebody who is rooting for 251 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:10,160 them. Not we, not us. 252 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,240 Jennifer needs godly counsel. Not a mother who's going to make 253 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,880 things awkward at Thanksgiving. Do you think things being 254 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,480 awkward at Thanksgiving are going to help our marriage or 255 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,360 make it worse? And Judy, wherever, you know, 256 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,560 wherever campus you're at, she goes to this church, too. 257 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,280 I love you. I think you're the best, best 258 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,160 mother-in-law ever. Wish I could see you more. 259 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:34,320 OK, well, I got so many family at all of our campuses. 260 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,160 I'm like ducking and weaving. She's been great. 261 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,960 Hear me. Marriage. 262 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,240 This is another landmine. Marriage is a spiritual act. 263 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:51,080 Two people become one. When you have two unspiritual 264 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:57,720 people going through a spiritual act, or when you have one 265 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,200 spiritual person and one unspiritual person participating 266 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,480 in a spiritual act, you create chaos. 267 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,200 You become one flesh. You are united. 268 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:17,440 You become one, which means your family has one vision, one plan, 269 00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:25,240 one set of boundaries, one set of standards, and yes, one set 270 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,960 of bank accounts. When you have different visions, 271 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,760 different boundaries, your family is divided. 272 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:39,600 And Jesus says a house divided cannot stand. 273 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,440 And when you have division in your home, you don't have 274 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,760 clarity in your home, which means you have confusion in your 275 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,440 home, which means you have chaos in your home. 276 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,920 What that means is there's one set of rules for the house when 277 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,200 mom's around, and there's a different set of rules in the 278 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:01,640 house when dad's around. That creates chaos. 279 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,560 Which rules actually matter? Who's actually in charge? 280 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,040 I like to get my kids energy drinks. 281 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,120 That's kind of my thing because I'm a cool hip dad. 282 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,560 Jennifer, not so cool, not so hip. 283 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,440 She says no to getting the kids energy drinks. 284 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,760 And hear me, I, I, I violated that. 285 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,440 She had told the boys we're not doing that anymore. 286 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,400 And I might not have been listening when she said that. 287 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:32,400 OK, this is I got a good woman. She said it is important to me 288 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,360 that they don't have that stuff in their system. 289 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,360 I'm asking you to respect that now. 290 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:42,720 My kids hate both of us. And you know why they hate both 291 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:46,720 of us? Because we are one. 292 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,320 One set of bank accounts. Only in the most dire of 293 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,120 circumstances should your spouse be isolated from the money, 294 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,680 because it's not your money and her money. 295 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:02,160 It's our money. It's we money because we are 296 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,560 one. Can I ask you a question? 297 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,600 Why on planet earth would you trust somebody with your heart 298 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,160 that you wouldn't trust with your money? 299 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,840 If you're not doing well, it only gets worse. 300 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,000 Ephesians chapter 5, verse 21 through 30. 301 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,240 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 302 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:26,600 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the 303 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,200 Lord. For the husband is the head of 304 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,120 the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church, his body of which 305 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,320 he is the Savior. Now as the Church submits to 306 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,720 Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in 307 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:44,320 everything. Husbands, love your wives just 308 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:49,400 as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make 309 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,680 her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the 310 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:59,000 Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, 311 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:04,320 without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and 312 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,400 blameless. In the same way, husbands ought 313 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,560 to love their wives as their own bodies. 314 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,160 He who loves his wife loves himself. 315 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:22,840 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed 316 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,960 and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. 317 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:33,360 For we are members of His body. Let's look at the vision that 318 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,960 God has for the marriage and the boundaries He's put in place. 319 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:43,840 One, both of them are to live into submission to one another 320 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,960 out of reverence for Christ. This is not just husbands and 321 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,520 wives. This is all of us. 322 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,880 You are to live in submission to me. 323 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,680 I am to live in submission to you. 324 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:57,080 We are to live in submission to one another out of reverence for 325 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:02,080 not you, not me, but out of reverence for Christ. 326 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,280 And just so you know, he's the one who says I have come that 327 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,800 you may have life and have it abundantly. 328 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,960 So the one who wants to give you an abundant life has a plan. 329 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,040 That plan includes you and I being in mutual submission to 330 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,240 one another and I got to ask you a question when it gets to the 331 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,680 marriage stuff. How can someone submit to you 332 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,600 out of reference for Christ if they are not in Christ? 333 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:30,840 So you just chucked A landmine into your home then Paul gives 334 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,080 this instruction to wives and two husbands. 335 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,720 Wives are sub to submit to their husbands. 336 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:47,240 Hear me clearly. This is done willingly, not by 337 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:54,040 force. Women willingly submit to their 338 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,360 husbands. Husbands do not domineer their 339 00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:00,640 leadership over their wives. They do not take their 340 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:07,120 submission, they receive it. Christian women who believe that 341 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:11,840 God's way is the best way willingly give their husbands 342 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:18,720 headship in the home. Just like every company needs 343 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:24,680 ACEO, just like every team needs a head coach. 344 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:30,360 Just like the car that you came in has one steering wheel. 345 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:36,560 Can you imagine Co driving your car home with your spouse? 346 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:44,680 She would not be your spouse by the time you got home. 347 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,760 Just like every company, he's the CEO. 348 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,440 Just like every team needs a head coach, just like every 349 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,440 steering or every car has one steering wheel, the family needs 350 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:03,520 a point leader in the home. This does not mean that the wife 351 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,680 does not make decisions. This does not mean that the wife 352 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,680 does not have a voice. What it does mean is that 353 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,280 somebody is ultimately responsible. 354 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:24,160 If the husband and wife are in fight for control in the home, 355 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,200 Satan is the one who's in control. 356 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:34,960 God hear me men. God will judge the man for the 357 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:40,880 health of the family women. God will judge the wife on her 358 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,640 willingness to come alongside of her husband to help create that 359 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:50,640 godly family. Now men, I hope you did not get 360 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:54,040 too excited about what I just walked you through because I did 361 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,040 not write that part for you. I wrote that for your wives. 362 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:04,760 This is for you men. TuneIn husbands love their 363 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,280 wives. And when Paul wrote this to his 364 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:14,120 culture, to his environment, this was the incendiary 365 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,120 statement. When I read it in my 366 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:20,320 environment, everybody's like, Oh my goodness, wives are 367 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,840 supposed to submit to their husbands. 368 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,560 But when Paul wrote this, you know the part that they were 369 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,520 freaking out about. You mean I have to love her 370 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:34,360 because submission was expected and enforced in the 1st century. 371 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:39,000 The radical teaching that Paul lifts up is that husbands, you 372 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,120 are about to love your wives the way you love your own body. 373 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,000 It was radical. It was out there. 374 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:47,840 And so I'm going to push in for a bit. 375 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,480 Men, how are we to love our wives? 376 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:56,360 We are given a model, the way Christ loved the church. 377 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,600 And here are things we know about Jesus. 378 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,240 We're getting ready to do a sign up for men's conference. 379 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,760 We're getting ready to sign up for Rise for a women's 380 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,880 conference. Do you know which one signs up 381 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,640 the fastest? The women. 382 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:16,400 Because women love Jesus. So if you want your wife to kind 383 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:21,840 of chase after you, maybe you should start acting a little bit 384 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,960 more like Jesus. So pay attention. 385 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,880 I'm going to give you 3 things that Jesus does for the church, 386 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,680 which is your Model 1. He sacrificed for her, He wants 387 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,200 what's best for her. He's selfless and he dies for 388 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,920 her. You want to know why women love 389 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,680 Jesus? Why they submit to Jesus while 390 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:48,360 they follow Jesus? I just gave you 3 reasons, which 391 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,600 means men. You don't get a point at verse 392 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:55,400 22 and ignore verse 25. You don't get to go home tonight 393 00:25:55,480 --> 00:26:07,480 and go submit. Because let me tell you, while 394 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,920 it may be hard to submit to your husband's, it's almost 395 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,360 impossible to submit to an ungodly one. 396 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,320 And the burden you are putting on your wife to submit to a man 397 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:23,960 who is not equipped to lead the way Christ leads and loves is an 398 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,080 unbearable task. And imagine her carrying the 399 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,320 weight of trying to live out God's way while following a man 400 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:36,920 who is not God's man. So men, if the leadership in 401 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:41,800 your home is not sacrificial, selfless, and painful, the 402 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,760 submission issue in your home might be because there is a love 403 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:50,400 issue in your home. Men, we are to lead through our 404 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,960 love. You can watch this later and 405 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,000 take notes. Our love shows up in three PS. 406 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,160 Priority, Provision and protection. 407 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,080 Priority. God is to be your first 408 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,960 priority, your wife your second priority, your kids your third 409 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,800 priority. It is impossible to be a godly 410 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,280 man, husband and father if you are selfish. 411 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,080 Provision. We are to provide. 412 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,680 We provide spiritually, physically, which means we're 413 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,680 present emotionally and financially. 414 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,640 We get up early, we get right with God. 415 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,400 We make space in our lives to be with our family in undistracted 416 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,160 ways. That's the area right now where 417 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,560 I'm struggling and I'm trying to do better. 418 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,280 We are emotionally available and connect on matters beneath the 419 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,320 surface. We go to work and when we go to 420 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:44,480 work, we work hard. And if you do all of that really 421 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,880 well, then you can hunt and then you can golf. 422 00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:53,280 But you earn that right, you earn that opportunity, you earn 423 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,040 that blessing. But how on planet earth can you 424 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,120 be in a duck blind? Or how on earth can you be in a 425 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:00,280 tree stand? And how on earth can you be 426 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,680 golfing if you have not loved your family first, your God 427 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,200 first. The third P is protection, 428 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,920 spiritual protection. To make sure that our family is 429 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,160 moving in the right direction, is moving and growing in 430 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,680 obedience to God's command, we provide physical protection. 431 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,160 Here's what this means. In the home, we die first. 432 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,200 If you're a dude and you're like, what's that noise? 433 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:31,040 Go check sweetie, you just got an F. 434 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,920 We provide physical protection. We die first. 435 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,960 And hear me, the fact that God has hardwired you to protect 436 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:46,760 should mean that they are never afraid of you have fear of you. 437 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,520 They need to know that you would lay down your life for them. 438 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,000 We protect them emotionally by making sure that our home is a 439 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,920 safe place for questions, doubts, confession of sin. 440 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,720 We protect our family financially. 441 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,600 We make sure that our spending does not outpace our earnings 442 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,440 because that would by doing so, we are able to reduce stress and 443 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,920 amplify joy in the home. Too many men in an effort to 444 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:17,240 provide financially sacrifice in all the other areas and are thus 445 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,480 able to, are not able to protect their family from unseen 446 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:26,320 spiritual and emotional threats. Can I just give a little devo to 447 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,680 the dudes for a minute? There are some of you who you 448 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:34,760 are absolute killers, assassins, savages at work. 449 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,080 You manage chaos, hardship and challenges. 450 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,080 You lead through market adjustment, staffing issues, and 451 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,360 if you were to just take a fraction of that energy and 452 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:49,480 leadership and leverage it in your home, you would be a gift 453 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,440 to the people that you love the most. 454 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,520 You have led planning meetings over and over again at your work 455 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,040 because you know that if you don't have a vision for how 456 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,080 you're going to get through the next season, you know the 457 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:04,760 company's not going to do well. But when it comes to your own 458 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:10,080 home, no vision, no protection, no provision. 459 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,760 So we are to prepare our family for godliness. 460 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,120 We are to prepare them for future roles in the family, 461 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,680 prepare them for future roles in the Kingdom of God, and we are 462 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,120 to prepare them for future roles in society. 463 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,480 When was the last time you had a planning session in your home, a 464 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,240 strategy session in your home for that? 465 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,560 And once you have the same vision as God has for your 466 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:39,080 family, your job is to lead them in this direction. 467 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,120 And a clear vision creates boundaries. 468 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,720 No boundaries means your family has no vision. 469 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,280 A person who is a vision of being fit? 470 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,280 Don't laugh. Establishes boundaries around 471 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,920 sleep and nutrition. A person who has a vision of 472 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:03,680 losing weight establishes boundaries, I'm told, around 473 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,920 calories and workouts. A person who has a vision for 474 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:12,640 financial freedom has boundaries around debt and spending. 475 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,640 That means that your vision for your family should impact your 476 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:20,520 schedule, your finances, your phone usage, your dating. 477 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,720 And if you have not held a discussion and decided what your 478 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,200 vision and boundaries are, that means that somebody else is 479 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,280 deciding. That means it's either your 480 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:37,360 kids, society or Satan, and I wouldn't put either of those 481 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,360 three in the driver's seat in my home, would you? 482 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,480 Let me give you an example. I love youth sports. 483 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,240 Love it. I think they're great. 484 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,680 I love it when parents do everything they can do to make 485 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,240 their kids great at sports so they can sell insurance when 486 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:55,080 they grow up. And I think it's a blast to make 487 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,120 memories. I think it's fun. 488 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,400 Parents, you get them coaches, you get them trainers, you buy 489 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,400 them all the equipment. And I think, hear me, I think 490 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,360 it's great. What I'm telling you is you 491 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:10,400 already know how to do it. How come you just don't do the 492 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,720 same thing when it comes to them spiritually? 493 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,480 One of the most satanic things I've ever heard is when somebody 494 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,800 came up to me and said I don't force my kids to come to church. 495 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,560 I was just thinking, OK, well, do you force them to brush their 496 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:28,040 teeth? Do you force them to take 497 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,320 showers? Do you force them to go to 498 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,080 school? Like there's a list of things 499 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,720 that you've decided. I don't care how you feel about 500 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:42,960 it, you're going to do it. What's the point of having good 501 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:54,980 breath in? Hell, it didn't make a bit of 502 00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:57,620 sense to me. And you'll hear people go, oh, 503 00:32:57,620 --> 00:32:59,580 yeah, you're just really forward thinking. 504 00:33:00,620 --> 00:33:02,700 Like, yeah, we just don't. We don't let our kids. 505 00:33:03,180 --> 00:33:05,820 Well, how many other decisions do you let your kids make that 506 00:33:05,820 --> 00:33:08,920 are life and death for all the athletes out there? 507 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:10,640 I was doing the math, thinking about my own kids. 508 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,720 I ran through a list of a whole bunch of sports, football, men's 509 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,920 basketball and about what are the probability of them going 510 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,520 pro. I put a lot on there for you 511 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,840 dance people. I didn't put that on there 512 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,640 because I figured if I put going pro and dance, you guys would 513 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,560 think glitter and that's not where I was wanting to go. 514 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,560 So here is here is the chance. Let's just do football. 515 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,400 There's a 3% chance that your kid is going to go to AD One 516 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,840 school for being a great football player. 517 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:41,360 That's pretty cool. That's awesome. 518 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,520 Here's the chance that you're going to get some of the money 519 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,280 back that you spent on them playing football. 1 to 2% chance 520 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,000 of them getting a full ride. Here's the chance of them going 521 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:56,480 pro .08%. In other words, I wouldn't bet 522 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,640 on it. You can pick your sport. 523 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:00,960 You got all of them up there but dancing. 524 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,600 But I also did the math. There is a 100% chance that your 525 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,000 kid is going to need an intimate personal relationship with Jesus 526 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:14,320 Christ, 100%. There's a pretty high 527 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,760 probability that they're going to be a husband one day, a 528 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:24,840 mother one day. Your job is to prepare them for 529 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,360 the home, society, godliness, and the Kingdom. 530 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:32,040 Now, in just a second, I'm going to do something. 531 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,600 What I want to show you is the kind of vision that I have for 532 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,679 your family. It is a letter that I read every 533 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:43,760 so often to kind of awaken my own heart into my home. 534 00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:48,360 And specifically, this is for the men. 535 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,719 This is the way that I want the men in our church to love your 536 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,199 wives. This is the kind of kids that I 537 00:34:56,199 --> 00:35:00,840 want you to create so that they will be these kind of men as 538 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:04,120 they become fathers, as your daughters become mothers. 539 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,960 And I believe with God's help, this is possible. 540 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,800 And if you are lucky enough for a second to be here at church 541 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,080 today with your spouse, would you just hold hands for just a 542 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,720 second while I read this letter? This letter was written on 543 00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:27,040 October 17th, 1946 by Richard to his wife Darlene. 544 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,400 Darlene, I adore you, sweetheart. 545 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,040 I know how much you like to hear that. 546 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,680 But I don't only write it because you like it. 547 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:46,480 I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it 548 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,520 to you. It is such a terribly long time 549 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,400 since I last wrote to you, almost two years. 550 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:59,400 But I know you'll excuse me because you understand how I am 551 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:04,680 stubborn and realistic and I thought there was no sense in 552 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:08,480 writing. But now I know, my darling wife, 553 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:12,160 that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing and that I 554 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:19,720 have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you, I 555 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:24,800 want to love you. I will always love you. 556 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:30,640 I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love 557 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:38,600 you after you are dead, but I still want to comfort and take 558 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:45,120 care of you. I want you to love me and care 559 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:50,000 for me. I want to have problems to 560 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:54,120 discuss with you. I want to do little projects 561 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,920 with you. I never thought until just now 562 00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:01,320 that we can do that. We should. 563 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,960 What should we do? We started to learn to make 564 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,920 clothes together, or learn Chinese, or getting a movie 565 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,960 projector. Can't I do something now? 566 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:19,400 No, I am alone without you. And you were the ideal woman, 567 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,320 the general instigator of all our wild adventures. 568 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:29,640 When you were sick, you worried because you could not give me 569 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:33,160 something that you wanted to and thought I needed. 570 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:38,360 You shouldn't have worried, just as I told you then. 571 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:43,760 There was no real need, because I loved you in so many ways, so 572 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:48,640 much. And now it is clearly even more 573 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:53,600 true. You can give me nothing now, yet 574 00:37:53,600 --> 00:38:00,120 I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else, 575 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,480 but I still want you to stand there. 576 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:11,040 You dead are so much better than anyone else alive. 577 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,600 I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me 578 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,880 to have full happiness and don't want to be in my way. 579 00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:25,320 I bet you're surprised that I don't even have a girlfriend 580 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,320 except you, sweetheart, after two years. 581 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,920 But you can't help it, darling, nor can I. 582 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,520 I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and very 583 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:42,600 nice ones and I don't want to remain alone, but in two or 584 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,080 three meetings they all seem like ashes to me. 585 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:53,080 You only are left to me. You are real, my darling wife. 586 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,600 I do adore you. I love my wife. 587 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:06,560 My wife is dead rich. PS Please excuse me not mailing 588 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,280 this. I don't know your new address. 589 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:20,480 That is a vision. If you had one, what would it 590 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:25,680 be? And if you had it, would it 591 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:32,000 align with Christ's? And if it does, will you pursue 592 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,600 it? We're moving to a time of 593 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:40,160 decision. To those of you who are here 594 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,160 today or watching online who don't yet have an intimate, 595 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,120 personal relationship with Jesus, I'm going to say 596 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,480 something that's a little hard to hear. 597 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,200 But he ends the letter not knowing the mailing address. 598 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,640 I have a question for you. If you were the day to die, what 599 00:39:55,640 --> 00:40:00,120 is your mailing address? Where are you going? 600 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:09,680 And if you don't know or you don't like where it is, you can 601 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,800 change that today. That through the power of Jesus 602 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,600 Christ, through his perfect life, and through his 603 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:20,200 sacrificial death on the cross. And His resurrection from the 604 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,200 grave, He made a way possible for you and I to be united with 605 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,320 Him forever in heaven. And if you are outside of 606 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,200 Christ, you are outside of that promise. 607 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,200 But that promise is extended to you today. 608 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,680 You cannot be the godly husband you need to be. 609 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,480 You cannot be the godly wife you need to be. 610 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,560 You cannot be the godly father or mother you need to be until 611 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:43,560 God is in your life, till He has saved you and begun the process 612 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,080 of sanctifying you, making you more like Him. 613 00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:47,840 And you can start that journey today. 614 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,280 And in just a few moments, the people around the room are going 615 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,040 to stand and sing. Some of them are going to come 616 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,560 to the steps and pray. And I want to encourage you to 617 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,560 walk right over there underneath that screen next to the 618 00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:01,440 baptistry and start asking the questions that you need to ask 619 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,240 to the rest of you in the room, to those of you who already have 620 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:06,920 a relationship with Jesus Christ. 621 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,360 Is there an area of your life that you need to spend time on 622 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:14,000 your knees repenting? Do you need to spend time on 623 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,080 your knees asking God to give you the strength to start 624 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,560 setting the right direction in your family? 625 00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,920 Do you need to start turning over areas of your life to your 626 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,960 family, of your family, to God's leadership? 627 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,760 Do you need to come to the steps and get down on your knees and 628 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,960 pray over your family, pray over your spouse? 629 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,240 What do you need to do to get right with God? 630 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:42,840 Lastly, if you're here today and you are a widow, I know that 631 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:48,440 this sermon sucked. So what I would like to do is 632 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,000 I'm going to walk out those back doors after I finished praying. 633 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,240 And if you are here today and you are a widow and you just 634 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:56,600 want someone to pray with you, I would love to do so. 635 00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:00,880 Would you stand with me? Heavenly Father, I just thank 636 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:05,200 you so much for today. I thank you for sustaining us 637 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,480 and being gracious to us and long-suffering. 638 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,720 And I'm asking that you would do a mighty work in this church 639 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:14,920 right now, that not only would you convict us where we've gone 640 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,280 wrong, but you would you equip us to do what's right. 641 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,440 We stand zero chance to be the people that you've called us and 642 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,800 created us to be without the presence of your Holy Spirit. 643 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,600 So inhabit this place. In your name I pray. 644 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:28,480 Amen.