1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:03,440 Well, good morning, Crossing Church. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:09,680 How are you doing today? It is so good to see all your 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:14,360 smiling faces and realize that God's just doing incredible work 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:18,240 in your lives and through your lives and through your lives. 5 00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,240 God's changing a lot of other lives. 6 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,040 And I'm just so thankful. And you just look good. 7 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,760 You know, I mean, just turn to your neighbor and go. 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,320 You look, you're looking good today. 9 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,720 Yeah, Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's nice. 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:32,560 Good. Yeah. 11 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,960 All right. I want to welcome all of our 12 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,920 locations, all 12 of them, like the apostles, you know, like the 13 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,760 tribes of Israel. 12 locations. That's just absolutely amazing. 14 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,200 So thankful for each and everyone of you that are joining 15 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,760 with us, Everyone that's inside, everyone that's online. 16 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,960 And we're in a series about raising children. 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,320 If you're wondering why Allison is sitting behind me, we 18 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,560 actually need someone to talk to us who knows what they're 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,640 talking about. And that's why she's up here 20 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,880 because I'll just fake it until I make it. 21 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,400 But she actually lives it out in her life. 22 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:15,840 And if if you've been around us or heard me speak before, we've 23 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,800 talked a lot about our marriage. We are not necessarily the 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,640 marriage we want other people to try to identify with or be like. 25 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,800 It's just our marriage, just like every other marriage that's 26 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:33,160 represented in all of our rooms. But we are definitely the 27 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:37,400 classic opposites attract marriage. 28 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:42,320 Totally. Totally right, and nowhere is 29 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:48,160 that more potentially good or bad than in how we raise our 30 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,640 children. As we learned early on, even in 31 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,160 our dating life, we learned this in our dating life, is that we 32 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,560 have a choice of looking at that opposites attracting 2 different 33 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:03,600 ways. One is you're so ignorant, you 34 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,720 know, and I'm using the best word right there. 35 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,760 Yeah, yeah. Rather than all the other words 36 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,840 I've used in the past or you used in the past. 37 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:14,680 I know I do it more. Or this you see things in a way 38 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:19,600 I could never see them see. People that are attracted to 39 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,680 each other because they're opposites attract. 40 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,120 What they're looking for is someone to complete all the 41 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,760 voids that are in their life that they can't seem to complete 42 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,280 on their own. And they admire the things that 43 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:34,080 they don't possess and they want somebody else that does possess 44 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:39,920 those things to fill their lives up in those in those places. 45 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,880 So we're really not what you would call soul mates. 46 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,840 We are definitely opposites attract, but if you can capture, 47 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,280 let me tell you, that's been an evolution for both of us. 48 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,920 If you can capture, you see things in a way that I can't. 49 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,920 That has been an incredible benefit to our marriage and it's 50 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,440 an incredible benefit for our family. 51 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,880 Would you welcome Allison as she speaks to you today? 52 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:11,080 Thank you. Let me describe how that works 53 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,240 in our life. And then we're not the, we're 54 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,240 not the example. We're just, it's just an option 55 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,640 for us. This is our differences. 56 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,800 I was the day-to-day nurturer. I was the one to make sure the 57 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,640 lunch box was full. What did you eat from your lunch 58 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,720 box? Are your socks matching? 59 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,080 Is your shirt right side out? Is your homework in your book 60 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,120 bag? You know, what's the drama at 61 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,200 the junior high? Who's doing what at the high 62 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,160 school? I was the day-to-day person. 63 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,360 Jerry was the crisis intervention. 64 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,080 You have a drama. We have a trauma in our life and 65 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,160 Jerry was the one that said you and I in the car were going out 66 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:50,040 to eat and that usually meant there was some kind of big life 67 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,440 discussion you were going to have. 68 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,440 I the second one, I don't care. I still don't care. 69 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,120 I didn't care then if the house was total trash. 70 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,640 If you're having fun, I taught the preschool for 30 some odd 71 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,520 years. I that just stuff doesn't even 72 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,960 phase me. If you're having fun, if you're 73 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,960 creating memories, if you're laughing, I'm all about it. 74 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,040 Jerry likes a little more structure and organization. 75 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,839 I was more the grace giver and he was more the truth teller. 76 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,480 I was calm in the crisis moment and then I would freak out 77 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:28,080 later. He was less than calm in the 78 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:32,920 moment, but very wise in reflection. 79 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,320 I. Did I did? 80 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,600 Why, Yeah. Every other time, every other 81 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,360 time, we've done this two other times, right? 82 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,640 And she would and she would say, you know, I would. 83 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:45,720 I was in the moment, I was like this, you know, monster, but but 84 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,240 later on, but she wouldn't go later on. 85 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,960 They've got later on as well, you know, just just kind of as a 86 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,880 matter of fact. And I'm like, hey, that's come 87 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,600 on, you need to emphasize that too. 88 00:04:55,280 --> 00:05:01,720 But I'll tell you, we've learned so much just being parents 89 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:07,880 because where did we learn how? Where did we learn how to raise 90 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,000 our children? Where did we learn how to love 91 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,560 them in a way that would honor God and hopefully get them to 92 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,680 honor God, right? Well, we learned in the same 93 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:21,320 place where you learned because we all learn in exactly the same 94 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,480 place the way that we were raised. 95 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:27,160 That's the only example that we really have, right? 96 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:34,800 Our parents or parent or grandparent or grandparents or 97 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:39,080 foster parents. It was those people that that 98 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,880 spoke into our lives. And it, it's in that reality 99 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,800 that we learn how to be parents. Now, don't get me wrong on this. 100 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:52,280 I'm not saying that we learned all the good things from the way 101 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,240 that we were raised, because the truth of the matter is we learn 102 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,480 a lot of bad things from the way that we're raised, right? 103 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,320 Things that we don't want to repeat. 104 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,280 As a matter of fact, we're rejecting them. 105 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,440 You know, if you, if maybe your father, your mother was a 106 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:11,560 corporal discipline punishment type person, maybe you're more 107 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,480 of a love and logic parent, right? 108 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,600 Because you don't you, you don't want to repeat that you don't 109 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:20,120 like certain ways that you were raised. 110 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,120 And so you reject those things and other things are the ones 111 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,680 that you might emphasize. And so we kind of cobble our own 112 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,840 idea of what parenting is from whatever has been poured into 113 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,800 us. But wouldn't you like something 114 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,480 else? Wouldn't you like something else 115 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:44,640 that's maybe a little better, a little pure to inform how you're 116 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,360 going to be a parent? Where do I get a gold standard 117 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,440 for that? Oh, I'll just read the Bible, 118 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,960 and if I read the Bible and I look at the examples in the 119 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:01,160 Bible and I try to emulate those examples in the Bible, then I'm 120 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,200 going to be a much better parent, right? 121 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,480 Wrong. You couldn't be more wrong. 122 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,960 I challenge you to go into God's word. 123 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,640 I don't care. Old Testament, New Testament and 124 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,960 find me examples of great parenting. 125 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,280 What you're actually going to find is the exact opposite of 126 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:27,840 that because the Bible does not pull any punches in this area. 127 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:31,480 And what you do is you get to look behind the curtain, behind 128 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:36,800 the scenes into these family lives and you realize just how 129 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:41,280 absolutely messed up parents are in the Bible. 130 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,240 So Allison and I are like racking our brains and we're 131 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:48,080 working on this sermon. Like let's find a good Printal 132 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,320 example. And so, you know, Allison after 133 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,840 some time goes, well, there's Mary and Joseph and I'm like, 134 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,640 well, there's how much is really written about Joseph as a 135 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,240 parent. I mean, a couple of lines and 136 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,160 then he's gone. And then she said, well, maybe 137 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,440 Zechariah and Elizabeth John the Baptist parents. 138 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:13,680 Well, same kind of thing. So either there's an absence of 139 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,320 teaching or it's all on the negative side, negative 140 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,200 teaching. What do I learn from that? 141 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:26,080 The Bible is telling me just how hard it is to do this job. 142 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,520 Some of you right now, you're at your wit's end. 143 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,960 Some of you right now look in the in the rearview mirror of 144 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,880 your life and you see your wit's end way back there. 145 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,120 And whatever it is that you're doing now is beyond you're 146 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,360 really your ability to understand. 147 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,360 I'm a father of four, a grandfather of five, soon to be 148 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,320 7. And this is what I can tell you 149 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,560 with absolute authority. Parenting is a place where so 150 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:58,560 many of your dreams come true, as well as some of your worst 151 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:02,160 nightmares. Amen, Allison. 152 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:08,760 There's nothing that builds our prayer life faster than raising 153 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,400 children. Agree. 154 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,960 I have a cabinet in my house and has prayer journals in it and 155 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,680 they're nothing fancy. They're Walmart $0.99 or 156 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,800 actually $0.10 if you go at the right time of year. 157 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,880 And I just, you know, I just write and I have stacks of them 158 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,760 and one of these days I'm going to get them all out and I'm 159 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,800 going to light them on fire because for two reasons, 1, I 160 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,440 don't want my kids reading after I'm dead. 161 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,840 What I said about them in my prayer journal, number one. 162 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:46,240 Number two, I want to offer them up as a incense to the Lord 163 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,480 going. I cannot parent unless you do it 164 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:53,000 with me. Actually, if you do it for me, 165 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,520 because he is the best parent. Preach Now most of us we love 166 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,480 our children. It's instinctive that we love 167 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,920 our children but we always we might struggle in how we love 168 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,760 our children. And God in his infinite wisdom 169 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:10,200 did not give us clones for children, although we wished you 170 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,280 would have at times. We usually have children that 171 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,840 are unique in personality and same with our grandchildren. 172 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,720 So how do we do that? Well, over the years, Jerry and 173 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,440 I have done some marriage counseling and some marriage 174 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:27,320 enrichment seminars, and we use a very basic book by Gary 175 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,480 Chapman called The Five Love Languages, Super cheap on 176 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:35,480 Amazon, easy read, nothing hard. They also have one called The 177 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,080 Five Love Languages of Children. So we're going to go through 178 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,560 five of them or I'm going to go through five of them quickly, 179 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,160 but I'm going to add some scripture in here because this 180 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,920 is the source. Besides your prayer life, this 181 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,720 is your source. All right #1 words of 182 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:55,120 affirmation. That's comes from Luke 19, one 183 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,240 through 10. And it's the story of Zacchaeus. 184 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,760 Now, we, some of us grew up knowing that. 185 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,560 And some of us, this is a news story. 186 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:07,240 Zacchaeus was a Jewish man who had no friends. 187 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:12,160 He was a Jew by blood, but he was ostracized by his people 188 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,160 because he sold out and became a tax collector for the Romans. 189 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,000 So the Romans saw him as a pawn and the Jews saw him as a sell 190 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:24,520 out, no friends. And then one day here comes 191 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:29,400 Jesus and he's looks at right at Zacchaeus in a group of people. 192 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,160 He says, I'm coming to your house today. 193 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,480 Now in our in our culture, we're like going, yeah, whatever, OK, 194 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,400 no problem. In that culture, that was a big 195 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:44,720 deal and a big honor. So immediately Zacchaeus goes 196 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:49,480 from this till he stands up a little bit more and then Jesus 197 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:54,200 drops the awesome bomb and he says salvation has come to your 198 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,320 house today. And then Zacchaeus has a whole 199 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:01,080 new purpose in life, because he got the words of affirmation 200 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,360 from Jesus. Next, one quality time, 201 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,760 Deuteronomy 6 four through 6 says this. 202 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,920 Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is 1 Love the Lord 203 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,560 your God with all your heart and all your soul with all your 204 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,560 strength. These commandments I give you 205 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:22,840 today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. 206 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,720 Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the 207 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,720 road and when you lie down and when you get up. 208 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,760 Jerry has a great story on this one. 209 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:39,520 So last week we weren't here because I'm from Indianapolis, 210 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:44,040 particularly Speedway, Indiana, and I don't miss the Indy 500. 211 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,800 So I was at the Indy 500 and it's it's become an event for 212 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,640 our family. And so we we go, we do that, we 213 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,640 stay with friends, eat great food. 214 00:12:55,960 --> 00:13:00,240 But one of the highlights of this trip is on Monday, because 215 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,960 Monday is actually Memorial Day. And we stay with these friends 216 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:08,480 in this, in this rural, it's, it's a very rural community. 217 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,400 And there's a, a cemetery there. And what this friend of mine has 218 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,880 done is he's made the Memorial Day service in that cemetery a 219 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,080 very big deal for his family and for the immediate people around. 220 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:25,520 And so the VFW comes and they shoot their guns and they play 221 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:30,520 taps and there's words that are said in honor of those people 222 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:34,280 who offered their lives and gave their lives for our freedom and 223 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,200 for our country. It's fun to watch the children 224 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,120 because you know, when they shoot their guns, the brass 225 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,720 comes out and they go pull the kids get to police the brass and 226 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,880 take that home as a souvenir. And so we're arriving as a 227 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:53,120 family to that cemetery and, and I'm with my three-year old now. 228 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,720 Listen to me. Quality time doesn't have to be 229 00:13:55,720 --> 00:14:00,240 a lot of time. It has to be captured time like 230 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,760 where you make the most of a moment or a series of moments 231 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,920 and you have to be able to be listening for that or looking 232 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:12,160 for that opportunity. So this 3 year old is walking in 233 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,760 the cemetery. I'm holding his hand and he's 234 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,800 wondering what he's seeing. He could have been in a cemetery 235 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,440 the year before and wouldn't have wondered that. 236 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,480 But now he's wondering that he sees all these stones and all 237 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,880 these names on these stones. And he starts asking me what 238 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,360 that is. And I'm sensing a teaching 239 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,120 moment of a moment of quality time. 240 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:39,840 And over to my right is a big Blackstone with the name Leon 241 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,120 Tippin on it. And I knew Leon Tippin well and 242 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:48,480 the kind of life that he led and his faith in Jesus Christ. 243 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,280 And so I, I just told my 3 year old grandson, I go, well, this 244 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,560 is Leon Tippin where he was buried. 245 00:14:55,840 --> 00:15:00,800 And he was trying to understand buried and understand the idea 246 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,520 of dying. And I said, well, you know, he 247 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,760 died, but he was a, a Christian and he went to heaven, but they 248 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,720 buried his body right there. And that's his name up there. 249 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,480 And I mean, just as serious as he could be. 250 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,240 He looked at me and he said, I mean, he just had a sad look on 251 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,080 his face. And he goes, did did monsters 252 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:26,120 get him? And I went, no, no, monsters 253 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,840 didn't get him. He just got old. 254 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,440 And then he got sick. And then he died and God took 255 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,960 him home. And then this is what we do with 256 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,440 the body. Well, then we, as we walked 257 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:43,400 further into that cemetery, he wanted to know the name of every 258 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,840 stone there. And the same question, did 259 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,160 monsters get her? Did monsters get them? 260 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,480 And I had to keep saying, no, there were no monsters, you 261 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,480 know. But it was it's an illustration 262 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,400 of just taking a moment and being able to teach a life 263 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,840 lesson that may become a core memory, even for a three-year 264 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,520 old, by loving them through quality time. 265 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,720 So the next one is Acts of Service and we get this one from 266 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:17,000 Matthew 2028 and it says the man of the Son of man did not come 267 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,000 to be served, but to serve. And the Son of man here is 268 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,920 Jesus. I love to be a helper. 269 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,960 I am A2 on the Enneagram. I, I like to help. 270 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:32,280 It's my, I just like to do it. And when my kids were small, I 271 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,000 would do it. And as they got older, I would 272 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,720 do it. And even if in that in high 273 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,440 school when I get a phone call at 7:40 in the morning and they 274 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,920 forgot this and this and this and that has to be signed by 275 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,040 this and I need money for that. I mean, I am there, man. 276 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,360 I am mom points of the day. I am acts of serving. 277 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:53,160 I am serving them. And then I had a problem and 278 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,960 Jerry was very good to point this out to me and he was 279 00:16:55,960 --> 00:17:00,200 totally right. I have to learn. 280 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,840 So I will give this advice to you. 281 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,839 If you're a service person and you love to and your kids want 282 00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:09,560 acts of service, great. Understand the line between 283 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:15,200 serving and enabling. And Jerry would be very good to 284 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:20,240 tell me, let them fall because you need to teach them the 285 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,640 skills of how to get back up. That was a hard one. 286 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,319 That's so true. The next one, gifts. 287 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,280 This is from Luke 11. Which of your Father's? 288 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,760 If your son asks for a fish, we'll give him a snake instead, 289 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,480 or if he asks for an egg, we'll give him a scorpion. 290 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:43,760 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good 291 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,840 gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven 292 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,160 give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? 293 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,400 If your child's love language is gifts, it doesn't always have to 294 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,080 be tangible things. In fact, it shouldn't because 295 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:03,040 you don't want to have them be a materialist and equate gifts. 296 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,200 Teach them the Holy Spirit. He is the best gift. 297 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,320 The next one, physical touch, the last one, physical touch. 298 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:17,200 And this one is Luke 843. This is the woman with the issue 299 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,640 of blood. Now how am I going to attach 300 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,480 that with physical touch? Several years ago we took a 301 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:28,000 group to Israel and we went to the church Catholic Church in 302 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,800 Magdala. And in the basement of this 303 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,440 church is a mural that is probably the size of the stage 304 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:38,000 at 48th St. and you'll see it. There's will be a picture on the 305 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:43,200 wall. This picture blew my mind and I 306 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:47,240 wanted to share it with you. If you'll see over here, you'll 307 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,760 see a woman and we don't know the age of the woman. 308 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,240 This picture to picture is a little older because you can see 309 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,960 by her hands, but she had an issue of blood. 310 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:01,520 She was unclean in that culture for 12 years. 311 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:08,160 That means she cannot be touched nor can she touch anybody. 312 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,800 God made touch as an instinct, and in this picture, she cannot 313 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,960 touch and she cannot be touched. She's ostracized. 314 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,720 So in this picture, it depicts her crawling on the ground. 315 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,160 Loke had the difference between her hand and the feet. 316 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,360 She's crawling hoping that nobody will see her, because if 317 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,000 they see her, they'll cast her out. 318 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,320 And she's trying to get to the hem of his garment. 319 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:42,680 And he even stops and says the power has come out of me. 320 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:48,200 And she has received healing from Jesus because of physical 321 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,000 touch. That's how important it is. 322 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,480 All five of those languages are so critical, and what we learn 323 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,640 when in Gary Chapman's book is that. 324 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,320 You try to understand that love language of the other person, 325 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,440 learn to speak in that love language gives us the 326 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,680 responsibility like in marriages, like there's a 327 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:13,240 primary and maybe a secondary because who can love in all 5 328 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,920 languages? You know, we, we, we just really 329 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,960 can't do that. And I really haven't answered my 330 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:22,680 own question yet. Where do I find another example 331 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:27,600 besides the parenting that I experienced growing up or that 332 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,600 Allison experienced growing up? And I'm going to answer that 333 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:36,440 question right now because the greatest example of parenting is 334 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:40,520 God himself. And there is no replacement for 335 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,360 it. Sometimes I think the reason 336 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:46,640 that God told the truth about all these human parents is to 337 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:51,880 show us how far away we are from the the idea of perfect 338 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,840 parenting. And there's a story in the Bible 339 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,760 that Jesus gives us that illustrates what we mean by 340 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:04,560 perfect parenting. It's the third in a trilogy. 341 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,640 So Jesus tells 3 parables. The first one is about a lost 342 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,400 sheep. So there's 100 sheep, one gets 343 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,640 lost. The shepherd goes out and finds 344 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,120 the one lost sheep, one out of 100. 345 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:20,640 The second story he tells is about a woman who had 10 coins, 346 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,800 and one of those coins is lost in the house, and she finds that 347 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,960 lost coin. So it's one out of 10. 348 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:32,880 The final story, the conclusion of these parables, is the 349 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,720 parable of the lost son, one out of two sons. 350 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,800 And it's the most poignant story, and I want to read it to 351 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,840 you. And while I'm reading it, I want 352 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:49,240 you to think what love languages are illustrated in this story? 353 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:54,920 Jesus continued. There was a man who had two 354 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,360 sons. The younger one said to his 355 00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,840 father, Father, give me my share of the estate. 356 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,800 So we divided his property between them. 357 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,520 Not long after that the younger son got together all he had set 358 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,760 off for a distant country and their squandered his wealth on 359 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,200 wild living. After he'd spent everything, 360 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,440 there was a severe famine in that whole country and it began 361 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,920 to be in need. So he went and hired himself out 362 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,680 to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to 363 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:31,080 feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach 364 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,880 with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him 365 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,560 anything. When he came to his senses, he 366 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,760 said, How many of my father's hired servants have food to 367 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,160 spare? And here I am, starving to 368 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,680 death. I will sit out and go back to my 369 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,480 father and say to him, Father, I've sinned against heaven and 370 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,000 against you. I am no longer worthy to be 371 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,640 called your son. Make me like one of your hired 372 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,920 servants. So we got up and went to his 373 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,640 father, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him 374 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,960 and was filled with compassion for him, and ran to his son 375 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,080 through his arms around him and kissed him. 376 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,080 The son said to him, Father, I've sinned against heaven and 377 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,080 against you, I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. 378 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,520 But the father said to his servants, Quick, bring the best 379 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,760 robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and 380 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,760 sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill 381 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,280 it. Let's have a feast and 382 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,960 celebrate, for this son of mine was dead and is alive again. 383 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:42,280 He was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate. 384 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:47,280 Meanwhile the older son was in the field and when he came near 385 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,280 to the house, he heard music and dancing. 386 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,720 So he called one of the servants and ask him what was going on. 387 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,080 Your brother has come, he replied. 388 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,040 Your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him 389 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:02,360 back safe and sound. The older brother became angry 390 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,280 and refused to go in, so his father went out and pleaded with 391 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:11,160 him, but he answered his father. Look, all these years I've been 392 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,360 slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders, yet you 393 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:17,720 never gave me even a young goat so I can celebrate with my 394 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,840 friends. But when this son of yours, who 395 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:26,800 has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you 396 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:32,560 kill the fattened calf for him. My son, the father said you're 397 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,480 always with me and everything I have is yours. 398 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:40,720 But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of 399 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,880 yours was dead and is alive again. 400 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:49,240 He was lost and is found. Did you see the love languages 401 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:55,320 in it, all five of them beautifully displayed? 402 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,640 We see gifts. We see the gift of the early 403 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,840 release of the inheritance to the younger son, which the 404 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:09,880 father was not required to do. We see the giving of a robe and 405 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,160 you notice what it says, the best robe, the giving of a ring, 406 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,080 which is a signet ring, which means he's part of the family, 407 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,680 and sandals for his feet. Because when he came over that 408 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,280 hill, no one would have recognized him but a father. 409 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,360 He would have been so dirty and disheveled. 410 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:36,680 We see physical touch, this picture of the father running to 411 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,840 his son, and it says that when he was still a long way off, 412 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,600 which means what? Before he ever saw his son, he 413 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:49,080 was looking for his son. He had his eyes on the horizon, 414 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,040 believing that his son would return. 415 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,400 And then he runs. The only time God has ever 416 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,240 pictured as running. And look who he's running to. 417 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,600 A prodigal son. Then we see him embracing his 418 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,760 son, kissing his son, physical touch. 419 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:14,120 We see words of affirmation. We see it in the declaration of 420 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:18,040 the father to his son in front of these servants. 421 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,880 My son was dead. He's alive again. 422 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,240 He was lost, but he's found. He says that two times. 423 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:30,280 We see acts of service in the party preparation, We see acts 424 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,240 of service in him running interference with the older 425 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,920 brother who's jealous of the younger brother, solving that 426 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,440 problem so that the younger brother doesn't have to. 427 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,800 And then we see quality time in the party itself. 428 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:52,680 And in the captured moments, you see only one Father, only one 429 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:58,480 parent does parenting perfectly, and that's our Heavenly Father. 430 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,880 Now, sometimes we've had bad experiences with our parents, 431 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:08,160 and we want to transfer that onto our Heavenly Father. 432 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:13,560 But that's not right because our Heavenly Father is perfect in 433 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,240 all He does. And when you believe in Him and 434 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,080 have an intimate, personal relationship with Him, you can 435 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:23,520 claim Him as your Father, Allison. 436 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,000 But what's some of the best ways that we can walk out these five 437 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,440 love languages? And that's with faith. 438 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:37,440 In Luke 8, we see Gyrus. And Gyrus is the chief of the 439 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,920 synagogue. So he's he is a Jewish leader 440 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:46,040 and he is has high reputation and he makes pretty good money 441 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,040 and he's very important. And he's not probably as to be 442 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,440 chief of the synagogue, you have to be pretty educated. 443 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,800 But his daughter's sick. And in Luke 8, you see that it 444 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:03,760 does not matter any of that. When his daughter's sick, she's 445 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,920 sick enough that he is willing to do whatever it takes that he 446 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:10,880 comes to find this rebel teacher named Jesus. 447 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:18,280 He's risking his reputation, his income, his his power within the 448 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:23,000 community to find a healer for his daughter. 449 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:28,120 He has faith in Jesus. We also see with the boy and the 450 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:32,360 fish and the loaves. It was probably his only meal of 451 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:36,200 the day and he hands it to Jesus willingly. 452 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,160 He has faith that Jesus will do what he says he will do. 453 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:47,360 In Acts 12, we see Rhoda, who is a younger girl, not a child, but 454 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:52,040 not a woman, and she's answering the door when she hears a knock. 455 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,520 Well, she's been here in the other room with all these other 456 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,560 adults, and they're praying for Peter, that he would be 457 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,200 delivered, that he would be set free. 458 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,280 And all of a sudden there's a knock on the door, and Rhoda 459 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,760 goes to answer it, knowing it's Jesus. 460 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:11,560 It's not Jesus, it's Peter, and Peter is there. 461 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:16,720 She has faith that Jesus answered her prayer, and Peter 462 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:23,200 was there. I've been personally, I have 463 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:29,320 been doing children's ministry for a really long time, whether 464 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:35,080 it be lay ministry or as a staff person or in leadership. 465 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:41,280 And I love being in this room. I love being at all the campuses 466 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,440 in your auditorium. I love playing on the stage. 467 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:51,840 I've loved watching him preach for 42 years, but can I tell you 468 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:57,880 that the Holy Spirit moves mightily and happily in the 469 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,800 lives of what's happening in the back of the building? 470 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,560 In children's ministry, He is delighted. 471 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,760 With your children, you may be exhausted. 472 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,280 He is delighted. He is delighted in our 473 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:17,160 preschools, he is delighted in our camp, he is delighted in our 474 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:21,400 children's ministry. And if you serve in those areas, 475 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,720 he is delighted with you. Be mindful, parents of the lower 476 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:31,840 story, that it's exhausting. I know it's exhausting, but he 477 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,000 loves his children and he smiles on them. 478 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,160 He you are his child, and your children are his child. 479 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:46,600 So when I'm getting ready to preach a sermon and I know what 480 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:50,440 the topic is going to be, I just put my radar up. 481 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,880 You know, I'm just like, God, what do you have? 482 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,160 What are you going to show me? And I start looking for those 483 00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,040 things. So two weeks ago I was in this 484 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:06,320 room at 48th St. listening to Clayton preach, and I was really 485 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,920 enjoying the sermon. And I would imagine there's been 486 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,040 times when you've been enjoying a sermon and then there is a 487 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,040 young person near you somewhere and they start making some noise 488 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,280 or talking and then all of a sudden, you know, you kind of 489 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:23,720 get disconnected. And, and so there was a young 490 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:28,720 man that, or a boy that was across the aisle from us and I 491 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,160 can hear him talking. I couldn't hear what he was 492 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,000 saying, but he was talking a little bit loud. 493 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,440 And so like, my default is to be a little frustrated with that. 494 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,680 And I'm looking over there, right? 495 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:44,240 And I see a family of four and the, the dad and the mom sitting 496 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:48,600 together, dad's on the end and then a daughter and then the son 497 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,280 on the other end, right? And the son's talking over the 498 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,640 other two, the the sister and the mom to talk to the dad. 499 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,560 I can't hear what they're saying, but I'm just kind of 500 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,520 watching that. And I saw the dad get up. 501 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,640 I mean, stand up during the sermon, walk in the aisle or 502 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,600 the, the row behind and come around and sit by the sun. 503 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,640 I'm going, oh, oh, something's going to happen. 504 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,120 You know, it's going to be some discipline here. 505 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,480 I could have been farther from the truth. 506 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,360 This is this is something that God was going to show me that 507 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,600 God was going to teach me. So he sits down next to his son 508 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,480 and it what plays out in front of me is exactly what the 509 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:31,480 discussion was about. He gets the Bible from his son. 510 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,800 His Bible has his son has a paper Bible and he takes the 511 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:41,640 Bible from his son and he opens to the table of contents and 512 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,160 he's finding the passage of Scripture that Clayton is 513 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,240 preaching from. And he finds the page number. 514 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:52,400 He goes to that book, finds the chapter, finds the verse. 515 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:56,240 And then the Father and the Son hold the Bible together while 516 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,560 the while the father moves his finger along the sentences, the 517 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,400 lines that Clayton is saying. And I went, that's it. 518 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,680 That's how difficult it is. That's how simple it is. 519 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,400 That's what it means to be a godly parent, something as 520 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,280 simple as that. And I remember sitting there and 521 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,000 I and you saw it too. We were watching it together. 522 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,200 And I'm kind of and you're, you're, you're going, yeah, I 523 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,760 already saw that. And it's like, wow, cuz she 524 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,120 probably knows what was going on my mind ahead of that. 525 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:34,080 Anyway, I thought that. Thank you, Lord, that's, that's 526 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:35,080 great. That's done. 527 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:39,360 No, he wasn't done. Later on in that same service, 528 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,880 we get to the worship time, the second worship time after the 529 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,720 sermon, right? And they're standing together 530 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:50,840 and I hear that kids voice again and he's talking to his dad 531 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,480 again. And I see the dad doesn't have 532 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,720 to stand up. He's already standing, does the 533 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,280 same thing, walks around to the row behind him, comes over the 534 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:03,320 other side, and then stands by his son and start singing loudly 535 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:09,320 so his son can hear him. And the son is hearing his 536 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:14,360 father worship and praise God. And the son's hands go up in the 537 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,760 air to worship. Hold on, hold on. 538 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,040 And the father sees the son's hands go up in worship. 539 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:26,480 So his hands go up in worship. And then I'm going now that's 540 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:30,320 really it, right? So here's the Son being an 541 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,960 example to the Father, while the Father is being a teacher to his 542 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,800 Son. And you know, if you're looking 543 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,679 in the table of contents, you're not a theologian, But do you 544 00:34:38,679 --> 00:34:42,760 think God cares about that? Or do you think what God cares 545 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:48,840 about is a father and a son making a moment, a memory in a 546 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:54,600 moment, probably a core memory of what it means to be a godly 547 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:59,400 parent and embrace that responsibility? 548 00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:05,160 That's what it really is, that we're moving to a time of 549 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:13,120 decision. This is the part that I don't 550 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,320 really like to do, but I'm compelled to do it. 551 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,640 And that is, you know, you might have liked what we had to say. 552 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:25,840 You might have liked what I had to say, but I want you to know 553 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,880 something. You've heard me say this before. 554 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,640 How many of you have heard in church that church is full of 555 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,200 hypocrites? Raise your hand if you've heard 556 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,920 that before, right? And you've probably heard me say 557 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,200 before if you've been attending a while and I'm the biggest one 558 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,000 in the room because I'm the guy telling you how to live your 559 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,600 life and then I go home struggling to live mine. 560 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,680 Where do I get off telling you that stuff, right? 561 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:53,880 Well, there's nowhere that that hypocrisy hits me harder than in 562 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:59,800 parenting, because I have constantly feeling my inadequacy 563 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:05,480 when my temper gets the best of me, when I don't give the best 564 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,560 answers, when my adult children tell me the damage that I did to 565 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,560 them when they were kids, that kind of stuff. 566 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:21,480 And it's hard and it hurts. And I want to make excuses for 567 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:25,160 myself. Why do you think I asked Allison 568 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,320 immediately to preach this sermon with me? 569 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,240 Because I needed a designated hitter. 570 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:35,960 I needed somebody who was like, actually really good at 571 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,000 parenting. That's the way I view it. 572 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:43,480 But I can tell you this, Allison is back there playing right now, 573 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,800 will be the first person to come up and say, well, Jerry, I 574 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:51,560 appreciate that, but I'm just as big a hypocrite as you are. 575 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:02,240 All of us want Jesus to be our savior. 576 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:06,520 Why do we want Him to be our Savior? 577 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,360 Because you all have a past, like me. 578 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:17,480 You all have regrets, choices that you wish you could have do 579 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,840 overs on, but you can't. Because you can't roll the clock 580 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,680 back. And so that haunts you. 581 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,480 It hangs with you. I need a savior. 582 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,720 I need to be saved from that. You know what? 583 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,440 Being saved from your past, that's just not good enough, 584 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,000 right? Because you don't just need to 585 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,520 be safe from your past. You need to be safe from today, 586 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,360 and you need to be saved from the days you haven't even lived 587 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,360 yet. Aren't you glad that you have a 588 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:54,880 savior that lives in all three tenses at the same time, that he 589 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,480 can save to that extent? Great. 590 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:02,280 But that's not all I need. I'm a lot more needy than that. 591 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,200 I don't just need a savior. I need a Lord. 592 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,480 And the reason I need a Lord is because I don't do this right on 593 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,600 my best day. I'm still making things up as I 594 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:16,960 go, you know, as a grandparent now, as a parent of adult 595 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:23,800 children now. And I need somebody to tell me 596 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,800 if I'm doing it right or wrong or making an adjustment. 597 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:31,640 Help me to do that. So I need a Lord in my life that 598 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:36,920 speaks into my life and into my heart on a regular basis because 599 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:42,360 I'm still not good enough. But that's OK because I have 600 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,760 one. I have a Savior and I have a 601 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:51,880 Lord and someday He's going to complete it. 602 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,680 And what He does is always right. 603 00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,200 If you're here and you don't have an intimate personal 604 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:04,160 relationship with Jesus Christ, what the heck is wrong with you? 605 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:09,320 You can't do this by yourself. Nobody can. 606 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,920 You can't do this even in a good marriage if it's not a Christ 607 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:18,240 centered marriage. You can't do this without God. 608 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:23,280 You can't do this without Jesus. And it isn't about having 609 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,640 religion or going to church. It's about having a relationship 610 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:30,600 with Jesus Christ, to know that he's there every moment and to 611 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:34,000 know that he is like what we've sung in the past, a good, good 612 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,800 father. He's a father who doesn't use 613 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,160 guilt. Did you know that? 614 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:43,640 He uses conviction? Human beings get really confused 615 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:48,040 between those two things. Guilt means a father saying to 616 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,280 son or daughter, I'm ashamed of you. 617 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:55,440 Conviction is a father saying to a son or daughter, this is not 618 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:59,760 acceptable behavior and you and I are going to work this out and 619 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,520 I am not leaving. I'm not moving until we get this 620 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,880 right together because I love you that much. 621 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,240 You want to hear the dumbest word in relationships, 622 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,360 particularly in parenting. Here's the dumbest word, 623 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:17,400 tolerance. When has love ever been 624 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:23,960 tolerant? You know, your, your, your child 625 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,400 comes home with grade with, with grades from school and there's 626 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:33,080 3DS and 2FS. How tolerant are you of that? 627 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,400 Well, not if you love them. Because if you love them, you 628 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,920 want them to do better, right? And if you want them to do 629 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,520 better, you have to be willing to put in the time and say, 630 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,440 we're going to figure this out together. 631 00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:47,080 I'm not going to just guilt you and tell you this is a lousy 632 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,680 report card. I'm going to say, let's work on 633 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,800 this. Let's do it together, right? 634 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:59,120 True love is intolerant because it wants the best for each other 635 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:03,840 in a in a marriage, in in, in, in parenting, in every walk of 636 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,840 life. That's what love is. 637 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:12,160 It's not selfish if you don't have an intimate, personal 638 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,640 relationship with Jesus Christ. You don't have the tools that 639 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,600 are necessary for you to be the parent God wants you to be. 640 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,080 There's going to be somebody right over there by the 641 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,920 baptistry that would love nothing more than to pray with 642 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,760 you. They don't have, they're not any 643 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,560 smarter than you. They just have the answer in 644 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,240 Jesus Christ and they would like to pray with you and help 645 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:36,240 shepherd you down that road because the person leading you 646 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:39,240 down that road isn't them. It's Jesus himself because he's 647 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:43,360 here in this room right now. If you've never come to Jesus, 648 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,360 you can do it right now. If you have come to Jesus, 649 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,280 you're in a relationship with Jesus. 650 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,560 Well, then you got it all figured out, right? 651 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:54,000 You're a great parent. Everything's going perfect. 652 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,040 It's been going perfect. It's going to continue to go 653 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,280 perfect. Right now. 654 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,160 Everybody that's here in the sermon needs to be up here on 655 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,120 their knees if they're a parent or if you're planning on being 656 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,360 one someday. You know why you're critiquing 657 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:14,240 everybody else. God help me. 658 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:20,080 God be my savior. God be my Lord. 659 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:25,400 Jesus shepherd me. This is your opportunity. 660 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,440 Would you stand with me? Let's pray together. 661 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,080 Heavenly Father, in Jesus name. Take this moment. 662 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:34,480 It's a sacred moment because you're here and your children 663 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:38,800 are here and I just pray, Father, that right now you would 664 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,920 speak into the hearts of your children and that we would move 665 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:48,400 together, not as the best children ever, prodigal's all, 666 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:55,880 but that we would just go to our Father and see the perfect 667 00:42:55,880 --> 00:43:04,160 example and feel the embrace of his love in Jesus name, Amen.