I've got a message for you called the Valley of Weeping.
Weeping. Anybody, anybody, like anybody
cried before, right? Anybody wept and anybody just
just come on some of y'all this morning I'm tearing up as as, as
Ike, one of our elders is coming over to encourage me during
worship. Look, the Bible has a lot to say
about weeping and some of you think it's a valley and it might
be, but can we normalize weeping?
Can we normalize crying and just say it's, it's a gift from God
and there's a purpose for it? It's a normal human function,
right? Like let's not look at it as if
it's something wrong or bad. Often someone starts crying and
right after a tear comes out or a quiver in the voice, you know
what they say, I'm sorry. And I want to look at them and
go, why are you sorry? Why are you sorry for weeping?
Who told you that weeping is bad?
Who told you that crying is not acceptable?
Who told you that weeping is a weakness?
In fact, I see honesty in your weeping.
I see vulnerability, transparency, authenticity, all
the things we're trying to build here at Refuge Church in your
weeping. Just as rain softens the ground
for seed, weeping softens your soil for the Lord to do a great
and mighty work. Is it a valley?
It might be. You might be in a valley and
weeping comes. But I want you to see that Jesus
wept. And because Jesus wept, then so
can we. In fact, when Lazarus was dead.
What a poor fella, right? Could you imagine being dead and
seeing heaven? Also, I'm going to bring you
back, right? Wait, wait, wait, are we?
Are we sure? But Jesus wept before he raised
Lazarus. Why was he weeping?
He knew he was bringing them back.
He was weeping with Mary and Martha who were mourning.
And so Jesus felt the mourning of others.
Have you ever cried with someone else?
You've experienced the overflow of their burden.
Come on. We ought to be sharing burdens,
and so we often will weep too. Think about Jesus wept.
It's the shortest verse in the Scriptures.
Jesus, He wept, and so can you. See, weeping allows us to loosen
the compacted soil of our emotions and our feeling.
Men, I'm speaking to you. We often have this tough, arid
facade of ruggedness, and sometimes we weep too.
And I need to tell you, it's OK. It's OK to weep.
It's OK to feel the feels. The problem is that often now
you're left to deal with the feelings and that's foreign for
you. But God has something to say to
us today. Look what he says in Hosea
10/12. He says break up your unplowed
ground for it's time to seek the world.
Some of us today have bad experiences in our life that
have led to A hardness of soul, and we put these walls and these
barriers up so we don't have to deal with or feel the emotions
that accompany weeping. You hear me?
And so we won't weep because we know it penetrates the wall
that's protecting us instead of walking into and through the
valley that is coming. But if we walk through the
valley, that's where Wellness and healing comes so that we can
recover and move forward. Will you ask the Lord today,
what are you planting or what are you desiring to plant?
In the softened soil of my soul, if I could just deal with the
emotions and maybe even the weeping that comes with it so
that I can become stronger and my roots can be deeper.
See, your valley often is for you, the valley, the journey is
often for you. The struggle is to teach.
God did not bring on the problem that you have, but He sure will
leverage that and he's going to teach you in it.
He has something for you. Even better, He has something
for others, for what's inside of you.
This week I talked to a dear friend of mine, our next door
neighbor when we lived in Seabrook, TX and Bobby
Wallenta's beautiful wife Lori and their kids, just amazing,
amazing family. The problem is he's full of
cancer. He's a young man, young kids and
and he has 15 tumors throughout his body.
And there's been times when he calls and says, Steve, I need
some prayer. And we weep together.
And that weeping is what joins us and allows us to see the
realities and the frailty of life.
But you know what's happened in his weeping and in his journey
of walking through cancer? Oh, his children, they're
finding the Lord. They're journaling, they're
going to camp, they're going to student ministries, they're
learning about Christ. See, look, look, look, listen.
Because of one man's struggle, his family for generation upon
generation upon generation continued out can change because
he said my weeping will change the way that we face the
problems that we have. What are you weeping for today?
What is it that's causing you anguish?
What's your valley moment? Today?
We're going to drill into the soft spot of the heart.
Come on, we all have them. There's this reprobate heart,
this hardened heart, this calloused heart meant I'm going
to, I'm going to give it to you where you can understand it.
You know the calluses on your hand that you can take a razor
knife to and scrape off and not feel a thing come on until you
cut too deep. And when you cut too deep past
that callousness, come on, hear me.
You feel it. You feel it deeply.
That's where we need to go today.
We need to cut through the callousness of your heart so
that we can see the value and the sensitivity of the the
emotion of weeping. First, I want you to see that
tears are God's release valve. It's the release valve.
See, you can only carry so much weight.
There's there. There is a breaking point for
all of you. You want to tap out, I'm out.
I can't do it anymore. Often marriages are like, I tap
out, I can't do it anymore, I want a divorce and we move away.
If you'd have tapped out a long time ago, you could have solved
the problem. Likely not always, but likely.
See, life will throw you unexpected hard times.
We know this. The psalmist writes.
Record my misery, list my tears on your scroll.
Are they not in your record? Look, there are going to be
things that have happened to you that are recorded and seared in
your mind, and you will not be able to unremember, for you
won't be able to forget these things.
My counselor often says forgive and remember.
Heard me say this before. Weep over the loss, the grief,
the pain, the anguish. Listen from pastoral,
psychological and sociological perspective, people tend to weep
most often over some common struggles.
Can we just list today 7 common struggles like these are things
that often will bring forth weeping.
First is the loss of a loved one.
If you lose a loved one and you're not weeping, I'm
concerned for you. Don't apologize when you're
weeping and you're feeling the emotions of loss and grief too.
Broken relationships? Oh, they're super hard.
Cry over these things. Personal failure or shame.
Maybe you've tried, maybe you struggled.
That's not the end. That's the beginning of what's
coming next. You've heard my story on WD40.
It's not WD one because it took other formulas to get to WD40
for it was successful. Maybe you just haven't found
your successful piece yet #4 injustice or oppression.
Maybe you're falsely accused and it brings forth this anguish
inside of you and you just wish people would know the truth
about you. Deep loneliness, overwhelming
stress or burnout. Seeing someone else suffer like
these are all legitimate reasons to weep.
They're very common, and if you're in an environment where
someone is telling you not to weep over things that are very
common to weep over, there's an issue there.
Often you probably ought to weep with them.
But the reality is, maybe you've not been taught that it's OK to
weep. Come on, some dads say, come on,
son, real men don't cry. I'm going to say, real men seek
counsel to get over your dad's advice, right?
Like, because that's not true. Jesus wept.
And so why are we saying that real men don't cry when the real
man, the man of man's, the Lord of Lords, the King of kings, he
cried because of our emotions. See, weeping releases all sorts
of hormones in your body, and God designed us to weep in the
valleys. He also designed us to weep in
the mountaintop. You ever cried tears of joy?
It's so different, but for some reason, those tears are OK.
We've got to normalize the whole range of emotion.
I want you to see that that there are different things that
happen in our body God designed based on how you're crying and
how you're weeping. Sometimes when you cry, it's a
stress hormone relief. And what happens is these
emotional tears, they contain cortisol and
adrenocorticotrophic hormones. You don't need to write that
down. Probably can't spell it ACTH if
you want to Google it, right. These are chemicals related to
stress. Come on, everybody have a, a
good stress cry. Like come on.
Like, like, yes, this is stressful.
I don't know what I want to do. And you and you cry it out and
you weep with somebody or you deal with the Lord and you're
just weeping through it. And all of a sudden you're like,
I kind of feel better. Why?
Because the hormones in your body that God designed came only
after the weeping happened. So like, the healing is in the
weeping. Don't apologize for it today.
What about an endorphin boost? Crying can trigger the release
of endorphins like your natural body's painkiller, oxytocin.
The bonding and the comfort. Often when you cry together with
your spouse, come on, there's this bonding in this connection.
Look, it's hormone related like God designed it.
That's why often people feel calmer.
Are there mood changes? Men?
You can't figure it out. Your wife cries looking for
connection. You push her away.
Now she's crying more. But the tears, the reason for
the tears and what's happening inside the body is changing.
When Jesus wept, he was connecting with people.
Maybe, maybe you need to do this.
What about a a nervous system reset?
See it it, it activates the parasympathetic nervous system.
It's the, it's the rest and the digest mode.
It allows your body to digest these chemicals and these
hormones and this overflow and your nervous system is
resetting. Come on.
Anybody ever cried because of pain?
Oh, come on. When my gallbladder acted up and
went to a level 15, right? What's your pain on a scale of 1
to 10, right? It's like, give me a drug and I
don't care if it's illegal. Like I need some pain.
Really. I'm just weeping in the
hospital. They give me Dilaudid and I'm
still like, oh, this is tolerable now.
Just weeping over the pain and the anguish.
My nervous system is in OverDrive.
It's your body saying something is wrong.
Like God designed us so that we can seek the attention that we
need and so the emergency room can triage your pain so you can
get the treatment that you deserve for your body and that
you can walk through. It's a spider flight mode.
And the last one is emotional processing.
Those tears you cry can just regulate an intense emotion that
you're having in your body and creates a physical alley.
Can somebody say menopause? If you're old enough to know,
you know, if you're young, too young to understand, just wait.
It's OK. It creates this emotional
homeostasis to where it levelizes things.
Come on, ladies. Come on man, what can we see
this valley of weeping? I don't know if this is
something churches talk about of it's OK to cry.
So I have tissues in different places.
That's why I got one in my pockets because I never know
when the emotions going to come. And men, I don't want you
apologizing for your rawness and your Christ like behavior of
weeping. Maybe you're scared, maybe
you're afraid, maybe things aren't working out the way you
want them to. It's OK to weep.
It's a valley. We're going to say in it.
We're going to get nourishment in it, and then we're going to
go to the mountaintop. It's it's a built in stress
relief and it flushes these chemicals that are often an
OverDrive in your body and helps you regulate.
Maybe what you need is a good cry.
Come on, parents, you've seen your kids.
They make wrong decisions, they get in trouble, they feel the
weight of it, and then all of a sudden they cry and they hug
you. And then all of a sudden, it's
like, are you even the same kid? What happened to you?
And all of a sudden they're fine and they're moving on and
they're happy because they're resilient.
Parents can hold on to grudges and other feelings, but the kids
are often like, what? What happened to you?
Well, I'll tell you what happened.
They just had an emotional release and their bodies feel
better. They feel relieved from the
pain. They felt the comfort of a hug
or an embrace, and they're ready to go play again.
Why are we any different? See, God designed our bodies
almost like pressure cookers, and the pressure can become
built up and you have to release it somehow.
Some people like to go to the gym.
I don't understand that, but whatever.
Some people like to go on a walk.
Some people like to pray. So there's different ways to
release, right? Journal right #2 Tears can
become springs of refreshing. Can you see this?
The valley always leads to the mountaintop.
It goes up. It's great news.
Some of you today need some refreshing.
You need the refreshing from the Lord.
I think we all can use refreshing.
In fact, it's the synonym of refreshing is in our mission
statement, bringing Jesus to the highways and hedges to rescue
and replenish. Replenish, refreshing a lost and
broken world. So we're doing we're going to
refresh, we're going to replenish, we're going to help
people overcome their emotions and their feelings so that what
they can become closer to Christ and form a relationship with
him. See, refreshing brings forth
some newness and often times weeping is that turning point
that you need. The Bible says as they pass
through what? Look at this, the valley of
weeping. As they press through the valley
of weeping, they make it a place of springs.
Will your valley of weeping be a source for you of recovery, of
reconciliation? See, that's where your testimony
comes from. Leverage the weeping toward
refreshing. It's OK.
It's OK to weep. It's OK to come forward and pray
and have the emotion. You don't need to turn around
and go back to your seat with tears coming down your face like
something is wrong with you. I would rather you looking at
the person thinking something's wrong with them, something's
wrong with you because they're having a release.
They're they're, they're following Christ.
They're going to feel better while you're sitting in your
chair worried about the judgement of other people.
You're in the wrong place for that.
Will you help replenish someone who's in the Valley of Dry
Bones? Come on.
Last week we talked about this. Often it just needs some
nourishment, and often it comes through weeping.
Maybe you're missing somebody today.
Maybe there's somebody that you're like, I just missed that
person. Could be through death, could be
through relocation, could be an old neighbor that moved away.
I got Stacey and I, we've moved every two to four years for 25
years of my military career. There's people we miss.
There's some we hugged and cried and say see you later.
We got to roll. Who are you missing?
Look what Second Timothy 14 says.
I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we
parted. And I will be filled with joy
when we are together again. Let this be an indicator of
reconciliation both here on earth and in heaven.
Are you missing a friend? You missing somebody that's
moved? A Co worker that took another
job? You missing them?
What about someone who's left the earth, who's passed you?
Missing them is their grief. Let the Lord work in that and
let Him work through that because reconciliation is
coming. It's time for the tears to
refresh your memory of what used to be or what was and what can
now become something fresh and new.
We're in a season of newness in our worship as we sing songs.
We we felt this morning something fresh and something
new and something different. Like the God won't always take
you back to where you were, but he's going to make it better.
In my experience, I, I, I never settled for going back to what
was. I always dream about what can
be, and we move toward that. And often times there's the
valley of weeping and #3 I think the most valuable is that God
turns weeping into joy. And that is such a beautiful
place to be. Aren't you glad the Valley of
Weeping is not the end of the journey?
It's like now that you're in that valley of weeping with the
anguish and the feeling and the chemical and the emotion that's
going on in your body is where you're stuck.
No, because that turns into joy. God knew we would weep before we
were born. He knew what she would cry
about. He knew that you were going to
have moments in your life that brought you tears.
The Bible says in heaven, there'll be no more.
It'll only be rejoicing. But on earth, we'll have to deal
with this. But more importantly, He gives
us hope. He gives us hope on the other
side of our anguish. The psalmist writes in chapter
30 and verse 5. He says weeping may last through
the night. Come on.
But joy comes with the morning. Sometimes you just need to sleep
on it. Like joy is there you ever had
an issue or a problem that was worth weeping over in the
evening And then you woke up in the morning like I don't feel so
bad anymore. Or you are are you go through
the process and over time, all of a sudden you're like, OK, I,
I, I think I'm going to be OK Why?
Because the Valley of Weeping is not permanent.
That's not where we stay. God never designed us to stay
there. The the sad thing for me is that
some of you decide to wallow in the Valley of weeping and you
stay there and you've developed this negative Nelly that just
puts you back into the valley. And you start getting too much
altitude and you start coming out of your depression or your
anxiety or your fear or your worry or your weeping moment.
And you have got to go back into it.
And so you create this perpetual negative life.
I'll never measure up. I'll never be able to get out of
this valley. My life is because of Mama says
shame and guilt are overflowing you.
The reality is God says, can we just weep over what was lost?
And can you feel different about what's coming?
See, when I enter a season of sadness or weeping, I rest in
the fact that joy awaits. I'm I'm ready for it.
It's time to get up. It's time to stand up.
It's time to expect joy to come. It's time to expect this
freshness, this newness. It's like it's, it's like
keeping an eye out for the Bucky's.
Come on, somebody, you've been holding it for so long and
you're feeling the pain, right? And then all of a sudden that
clean toilet and the lights are shining and you're trying to
fight your way through those gas station.
You know when everybody fills up their pumps and then they leave
their car to walk? Come on, go park your car after
you get gas so I can get through because come on, I've been
waiting for this. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Come on. The joy of a clean toilet and
places where they shouldn't be. I mean, you're like Hallelujah,
praise the Lord. Amen.
I'll go one way, Stacy goes the other way.
I say text me when you're ready. I know it's a little bit weird,
probably TMI, but most of the time that's what pain is.
You don't want anybody to know. You just want to recover.
Romans 817 through 18. It's one of Romans 8.
It's one of my favorite chapters in the Bible.
As if indeed we share in sufferings with Him in order
that we may also share in His glory.
I consider that, look, our present sufferings are not worth
comparing with the glory that will be revealed in US.
Friends, good news, Christ is coming.
Good news, He's not leaving you in your valley.
Good news, joy comes in the morning.
See, Paul is saying to the Roman Empire, a city filled with power
and wealth and idolatry and persecution, much like modern
day America. Can you see it?
He is saying that if we'll press through the anguish that there
is a day and time coming that will be revealed in Christ and
made whole and made right, and it'll be so joyous.
The earthly memories will be gone and we'll only see the good
news. Christians, you will suffer, you
will weep. Sad things will happen and tears
will flow. I say let it roll, baby.
Work it out. Go to the prayer with the Lord.
Go to the Lord in prayer. I have that moment.
That's tough. Phone a friend.
I need 8 minutes. We need to talk, I need to
recover. Why?
Because joy is coming in the morning.
Knowing that joy is promised gives me purpose in the valley,
gives me hope for tomorrow. It allows me to press in and do
the hard work. Friends, keep walking through
the valley. Keep walking through the valley
of sorrow and sadness. Walk through the shame.
Let it go. Feel the emotions.
Some of you may need to go home today and have just some real
emotional conversations with your family and say we're going
to leave it here. Call a family meeting if you
need to, but it ends today because we're going to walk in
joy. We're going to forgive, we're
going to remove the burdens of the past, we're going to clean
slate, we're going to easy button this issue, and we're
going to start living like the Lord is inside of us today.
And if we need to weep, let's weep.
Why? Because healing, physical
healing comes in the weeping Lord.
Today I ask that you allow us to have safe places in our church,
in our home, in our communities where it's OK to weep.
Lord, when we can't handle the burden alone, when you put other
people in our lives to help us walk through the trials and
tribulations, there's plenty to weep about.
It's a twisted world we're living in.
But God, I'm so grateful that we have the example of your Son,
Jesus Christ, who came on this earth and before he rose
Lazarus, he wept. He knew joy was coming, but he
was in the moment and he felt what others were feeling and he
wept. And so, God, can you allow us to
see that this valley of weeping will lead us to joy in the
morning. In Jesus mighty name we pray.
Amen.