Hello Little Tower Bottom. As you probably already saw from
the episode titled, this is Part 2 of My Conversation with Mike.
So if you haven't listened to part one, do that now.
But if you already have and you're chomping it a bit for the
rest of his story, get ready for Part 2 more.
Do you? Do you consider yourself a
relationship, girly or? I'm a gay Charlotte.
I am a gay Charlotte. Oh, you want like?
But I say gay Charlotte because, like, I love sex and I have a
lot of it, but I'm a romantic. At the end of the day I can
romanticize any situation but I like I've only been in one long
term relationship so I can't call myself a relationship girl.
2 1/2 years and. It is it what you want though?
Yes, desperately. Are you?
No. No.
You don't want a relationship. I mean, I don't, I don't
consider it as a priority. A priority really, or a metric
of success? That's a that's an interesting
way to think about it because I don't necessarily consider it a
metric of success, but I am like, God, why are, why are we
here otherwise? So maybe I do, but I'm like, I
don't look it up, like, oh, they're successful.
They've done it. But I am like, God, I want to,
yeah, I just want to come home to.
I just want to come home to one person.
Sure, I get that. I guess I see the merit in that.
I also see so many friends who have sacrificed a lot of time
and happiness for this thing. That was my first relationship
experience and like, I think I learned a lot from that being
like, oh, this shouldn't be something where you're like, he
has of course, compromise and like it's.
Too, but in a deficit the whole time.
Exactly. It's the deficit of it.
It's like, oh, I was robbing myself a lot of like, joy.
And for what? You know.
To do the thing to do the thing because he thought that's what
you do. You know what I mean?
I was like, and I wanted to because once again, my best
friend in college, he had like I saw him go from like truly like
he had like four or five boyfriends over the course of
our like time in college. And so I was like, well, it just
happens for people like that and you're just always in
relationships and some people are just always in relationships
and some people aren't. And I was so desperate to be in
one out here. I tried the amount of like Hinge
dates I went on. Is that when you got your 2 1/2
year? Down till COVID though, it's
like I was already out here for like.
Damn people needed to be like it's this or.
Already out here 4 years. I was already out here four
years. But of course the minute I like
found my sense of self in like self worth, that is when it
happened for the first time. But it took COVID.
Was it Hinge? It was Hinge, but it took, it
took a world epidemic for me to finally be like, wait, maybe I
shouldn't like treat me like that.
Wait, that's so interesting. So you did let you.
For the greater good, let's say, Or for like the sake of keeping
people happy, you would like you'd compromise.
Absolutely. Once again, I would be whatever
they needed me to be or it was always my fault.
Why wasn't I like, why wasn't I enough?
Why wasn't I what they were looking for versus the like,
wait, why do you treat me? Why are you?
Why are you treating me? I'm awesome.
I'm treating you well. Why am I not getting it back?
Yeah, I mean, there was a guy that I was really into who like
1, he wouldn't have sex. This was like before I was on
Prep so like he wouldn't fuck me without a condom and.
Stingy. Rude it's fine but he was like
it's not worth it for me if I if I have to fuck you with a condom
and he grabbed my belly fat and was like should I try the keto
diet? Was he gorgeous?
He was, in my opinion, like at the time I was like, Oh my God,
this hot guy wants me. Was he a good kisser?
Yeah, he was a good kisser. Why?
I just feel like a lot of really hot guys are bad kissers.
I think the truth is maybe he wasn't, but I was.
I was like, he's he's hot, so he's good.
I don't remember him being remarkable in bed by any means,
but like he also drove ABMW in a way where I was like, you
definitely don't make money. I was like, how are you
affording this? I don't like that either.
I. Think we know that type of gay
guy though. Definitely.
You know, maybe a 2, two hands full.
And after the break, we're going to name them.
I'm just kidding. We don't have breaks on this
show. But but yeah, so I think it
took, it took me not being able to see anyone because I would
come home from every first date living my my best friend Emma.
When we lived, we lived together and I would come home from every
day and be like well. He's the one.
I met him. I was like, this one was
different. I'm not, I'm not kidding, every
single day that I would come home and be like, well, this one
was different. There was one good time where I
want to deal with this guy who really was cute and my and I on
paper, he looked like what I wanted my boyfriend to be.
Do you know what I mean? I was like this is what I am.
Oh, I revisit the paper people where I'm like.
I know on all the boxes on paper.
All the boxes and then you hang out with them for 4 minutes and
you're like, Oh yeah. Well, he pretended to be he he
told me his parents were from a different country, so he had an
accent and he said, let's see if you can guess when we show up
when, when we go on our date where I'm from show up, he has
an Australian accent. So I'm like, oh, he's from
Australia. I started asking all these
questions about Australia. I'm look, I'm very good at, I'm
very good at dates. Like I, I asked a lot of
questions. I will mediate.
I will leave the date. I don't want to always have to,
I wanted to, I don't want to be in my head thinking about that.
To me, that's a sign of a good date.
But I was asking all these questions and then 25 minutes
and he's like breaks his his Australian accent and he's like,
I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.
I thought it'd be funny to have an like to pretend to be from
Australia, but you really were being genuine and asking a lot
of questions. And I started to feel bad about
it. I was like, oh, I convinced
myself. I was like, that's so funny.
That's so funny of you that you did that.
That's what a good babe. That's crazy.
No. And then I and I came home and
he's a flight attendant. I came home and I was like,
Emma, he did this really funny thing.
And she was like, Mike, that's crazy.
That's. Weird.
That's like psychopathic behavior.
Kind of. He led you to believe he was a
different person and he was that good at it where you believed
him for like for. I definitely wouldn't like that.
Well, I had a second date already lined up with him and I
was like, I don't know, he's a flight attendant.
Like we could, like we could do dinner in Paris and desert in
Dubai. She always says that to me.
That's exactly what I said. I said dinner in Paris, desert
in. Dubai.
I was already building our life together with this.
Fantasy, it's so real. And then our second date, we
drove around, we like, we got like a 20 minute outdoor dinner
at Kismer Rotisserie. Do you know Kismer Rotisserie?
Is what's a 20 minute outdoor dinner?
And literally it's like you order at the counter.
So it's like we were done with things like 20 minutes.
It's just like, it was just really like a quick outdoor
dinner. And then we just drove around
for like an hour. And he, I remember him talking
about his love of Amy Klobuchar. Awesome.
And then he's going to come up into mind.
And I was like, great. Like I was like, my roommates
might be up, but like, no worries.
They're chill. He's like, whoa.
And like started backing away. He was like, you didn't tell me
you had roommates. I was like, yeah.
I mean, it's, you know, we're mid 20s.
I was like, yeah, I have roommates.
He's like, I don't feel comfortable coming inside,
'cause I don't want to have to meet your roommates yet.
He's like, that feels like too. And that feels.
Too. Wait, how old is he?
He was maybe like 2 years younger than me.
He was maybe like 24. He was maybe like 2324.
And I was like, OK, well we're here.
I don't know what else to do. We literally got back in his car
'cause he didn't. And I drove around more because
he didn't want to come inside. Also, he was a flight attendant
that was presumably a top. That's interesting.
Who's to say we never got that far so.
No. No, that was the last time I saw
him. He wouldn't.
He wouldn't come in. He wouldn't come inside and
wouldn't come inside me. And I never saw him again.
Wow, yeah. Wait, when was the two year
relationship? And then oh.
Pandemic. COVID happened, I was not able
to see anyone which I think really helped force me to be
like. Of course.
I should have standards. Wait, what if I What if?
I it could have gotten worse. Yeah, you're OK.
That's actually a fairpoint. Yeah.
It didn't. It actually got better.
I was able to be like, OK, why would I let any guy like I
wouldn't. If this was a new friend, I
wouldn't let a new friend treat me like this.
That's how I was able to reframe it.
I was like. A brilliant way.
And I was like, I wouldn't let a nude friend treat me like this.
Why would I let a guy treat me like this?
And so that allowed me to start to like course correct a bit and
I'd go and Hinge dates in the same location in Elysian Park.
Like it was like my controlled environment.
We'd be 6 feet apart on two different blankets.
The pandemic, it's just like, no, this was like like May to I
guess it probably. When did we start going on dates
again? Like maybe July through like
August October 2020 and then finally I went on a date in the
park with my ex and it was just that date that just like it was
like 4 hours in the park and then we ended U going to get
dinner outdoors and it just kind of KET going and then we.
Kissed the first night. We did, which I lied to my room
it's about, but we did kiss 'cause I obviously I broke the
like we broke. I was breaking the bubble at the
time, which is like a big deal, I know.
And then, but then you had to be so certain that you wanted to do
like you wanted. To go It was intentional.
It forced you to. It forced us to really know
immediately. Is this worth killing my
roommates over? And at the time and it was.
At the time it was. Sorry, roommate.
It was and I had to ask the permit.
I was like, can I go inside his car for a second date?
I had to get all this permission, which once again,
it's, it was forcing you to really be like, do I like this
person enough to even do this? And so by like 3 weeks and we
were like saying I love you and but here's the issue.
We were both bottoms. And you knew this early on?
I mean, first time we hooked up when he came inside.
Came inside. When he came, when he came
inside my, he bent over. Basically he assumed I was the
top. With the grand mates there.
He's like, Mom, great place. Yeah.
He he basically was like assumed I was the top.
And so then I was like, you know what?
I'm going to try it. No, because I always said I was
like, I would love to at least like, add that to my resume.
Like I would love to be able to say I'm a good top.
I just don't have the experience.
And so I was like, yeah, why not?
And unfortunately, he did just put Tiger Balm on his knee.
Do you know what that is? That like Bengay cream And my
Dick was rubbing against his knee and it got like numb.
It got like tingly and numb. So of course that became a whole
thing and like, it was funny. I love that you were trying to
be a good top and you were fucking his knee.
Well, we're just like we're rolling around.
I wasn't. I was like, this is the hole.
I was like, this is the hole right?
I know it's around here somewhere.
And, and then eventually I fucked him and it was, it was
good. I was like, oh, I enjoy this.
Yeah. And of course, it's like the new
chemistry of like liking someone and all of that.
And like, and then afterwards I was like, it's funny, like I'm
actually a bottom too, but like I've always wanted to top.
And so like first six months of our relationship, I was
basically the top until he all I was like, you know what, I think
you'll like topping too. Like everyone should like both.
Like it's, it feels good and things that feel good feel good.
And you should, you should at least allow yourself to like try
it to see if it feels good for you.
And then when you start trying, it felt good to him too.
So like it was a long, it was a long lasting relationship with
two bottoms, which I guess maybe that's common, maybe that's not
common. I don't think I would do that
again. It makes sense kind of, if
you're like companions first. But we weren't right.
We were not companions first. We were like strangers who then
started fucking within a week of knowing each.
Other during the pandemic. That's interesting too, that you
wouldn't in that pandemic time be like, oh ha ha, silly, nice
to meet you. No, but we were so in it then
that like, and also I'm like a very anxious people pleaser.
So like I think I just couldn't I, I, I immediately the minute
we said I love you when we were boyfriends, his needs be his
needs more important than mine. Wow, I immediately that.
But I learned the lesson the hard way of like, you can't do
that. That's not healthy.
That is not how you build a long lasting relationship because you
either you either consciously or subconsciously start to like, I
think wig out when you don't put yourself first.
Of course, I was starting to have panic attacks.
Of course, all of the things of like, I mean, he he would say to
me like, I'm nervous that you're going to start doing comedy
every night and like, you're not going to have like time for us.
And so I would literally do us shows like I would do.
Do you know what I mean? Like I would like, I would
literally 'cause I, I was like, 'cause that's what love is, is
like. Sacrifice.
Sacrifice and shrinking yourself and all of those and all of
those things. Also, there's a thing about I
have felt more stable dating and getting maybe potentially
serious about someone because I gave my career the, the runway
to like, like I did do more shows and I did like scratch
that itch and I was like, you know, I, I put myself first, my
career first, you know, but when you're in your 20s or you're
like even early 30s, you're like, Oh, I, I should be doing
more shows. I know, but I was the I was
like, well, I guess I need to be doing less shows.
But also this was a weird time where it was like COVID shows.
Not that many shows there. Weren't that many shows so also
the first six months of our relationship built such a.
Oh my God. False sense of like.
A precedent of like you just hang out.
Yeah, he, like, had all of me, which I think, but like, he
didn't know that. Like, I'm a very social person
who had plans every night, whether it was a show or going
to another French show or dinner with random friends.
Like it was like, I just, that's how I lived my life and that's
how I'd like to live my life. But he wanted just us.
That's all he cared about was like US against the world.
And that became very, I think overtime, like overtime
suffocating. I think, 'cause I was like,
that's not how, that's not how I want to live my life.
And also when the world started opening up again, I went back to
the gym and I was like, oh, other guys.
And not even like I wanted to act on it.
I just was like, oh, that's right.
I'm attracted to other guys as well and I think I started to
feel so guilty about feeling attraction.
Well, meanwhile your butt hole is starving.
She was starving. It's starving, emaciated.
In the desert, gasping. And so I would start to like
develop gym crushes and I would feel so guilty inside because I
was like, I'm a bad boyfriend because I'm attracted to other
guys, shaming myself so hard. This was before I, I had my
first gay therapist, which Jose changed my life in so many ways.
But I think I felt and, and I finally I was able to like when
I started seeing Jose like I was finally able to, he was like,
Mike, you're a gay man. He's like, of course you're
going to be attracted to other people.
This make you a bad partner. You're not, you're not cheating
on him. You're not acting like you're
not acting on it. And I was like, OK, but I'm
still feeling this. And I'm also craving the big
Dick top. I'm craving that big Dick top
that's like, you know. Going to lay it down.
Exactly. So like that is I wasn't getting
that. So I think that became so
intensely the fantasy. I'm just like, what I was like
Fortnite was watching and all of that.
And like he would always, he would also always say to me, I
know I'm not your type. I know I'm not what you usually
go for. Like I know I'm like he was
five, he was 59. Like every time you saw me
talking to a taller guy, like it was an issue, like all of those
things. But it is funny how like when
the minute you're in a relationship, why, what
pheromone do you give off where like guys are suddenly
interested in you or like. I think it's as simple as like,
I think about the guys who don't look at me at all in the gym.
I'm most drawn to 'cause I'm like, look at me.
I'm gonna and I'm like, what time do you go to look at me?
Did you go to Crunch? Yeah.
OK, not seeing. I went there briefly 'cause
that's where I went. Yeah, we arranged your the in.
New York, but I'm now back at EOS.
Gotcha. Golds, it was Golds.
Now it's EOS which is so terrible I hate that it's.
Did all golds change? Basically, except for the Venice
one. Golds felt like such a legacy,
like gym. No more.
Now it's EOS and it feels weirdly straighter, which I
don't like, but I don't want to drive.
I know it crunches only like a 5 to 8 minute longer drive.
I don't want to do that. That's fine, I know, but I
preferred it actually was never busy.
A lot of hot guys. Really, really gay.
I don't actually met guys there. Like yes.
Yeah, like, not so many, but like.
Yeah, enough. And then for like we're.
Like gold's never. I've never really.
Really, everyone's like in there.
Yeah, or like they already have their little people or it's like
the porn stars talking to the porn stars or whatever the
whatever combination you want to give.
But yeah, I think, I think I felt such an immense sense of
guilt. And also with my first
relationship, I was like, wait, open the, the open relationship
of it all. I don't know where you stand
with that. Philosophically, I am, I am pro.
My ex was not pro whatsoever. And I remember a year in, I was
like, Hey, I mean, we woke up 1 morning, he turned to me and was
like, are you, are you no longer attracted to me or are you only
into other people? I was like, well, good morning.
I was like, no, I'm still into you.
Like I, I, I love you. I'm, I'm into you.
But since you brought it up like, hey, where you're in like
check in. We've never talked about this
like this gay concepts of like open relationships, non monog.
And of course that sent him into like a spiral of like you want
to hook up with like you want to hook up with guys at the gym and
like you're not into me. I'm not giving you enough.
I was like, no, it's not about that.
I'm just like philosophically, I am someone who thinks I want
this because I'm a realist. I'm a like, yes, you might be
the flavor I want to come home to and like sleep next to and
hold and all those things. But yeah, sometimes I might want
pistachio. I might want rocky road.
I might you mean that you? And why deny yourself Rocky
Road? You can never have enough rocky
road, but I don't need it everyday totally.
I, I, I, but I, I just knew that I was like, that's going to be a
deal breaker If, if. If did they say that or you were
just assuming? I mean, basically he said that
he was like, if you need that, I will have to walk away.
I said, OK, well I don't, we're going to table this.
And then of course, a year later brought up literally the same
prompt. Are you no longer into me or
only talk to other people? This is how he thinks
anniversaries are celebrated. Hispanic Versary.
Wow, I. Mean basically a year later we
had the same conversation. That was the one where I was
like, hey, so a year ago I brought it up to you and I said,
I think I'm now telling you I know I.
AM. But but I don't need it now.
I'm like, if we're going to move in together, we're going to do
all these things. This could be five years down
the line. I just need to know that like
you could. Oh, you're such.
I mean, that's. I'm a good person.
Well, maybe to a fault. Yeah, I know.
No, I know. I was like.
Yeah, that's crazy to be like, I need something but I can
postpone it for five years. I know that's how much I was
putting him first. But we've learned.
We've learned to no longer do that.
But I remember that I was like, I know I need this now.
I don't need it now, but I'm going to need it at some point.
And I want a partner that like wants to once again, I don't.
I don't. It's not like I know the rules.
I don't. And that's why I want a partner
who's like, not freaked out by it and wants to, like explore it
together. Like, we could try it and hate
it. I could hate it.
I don't know. But I want someone who gets the
like, oh, yeah, of course you're going to want to fuck other
people because I'm horny too. I want to fuck other people.
And we're both bottoms. Yes, and he could like.
He couldn't though, So like that that initiated the break up, the
the, the launch to break up and Anna and Anne came over and like
she, I remember her saying she was like I, she was like, I knew
it was time of death when I had to make like a nurse.
Like she was like I, she was like, I didn't make a nurse like
house call. So basically the nurse had to
come over and like. Yeah, it's not.
She was like, I knew it was, she was like I knew it was coming.
And she literally was like Mission Control from when I like
drove to like meet up with him where we were just going to have
the conversation. But he was like, he called me
like a sex addict, like like he was like, you might be a sex
addict. You might need to look into like
into this if you need this. And I was like and I and I was
like, am IA sex addict. Maybe I'm a sex.
Addict. So I was like, maybe I am, but I
was like, I don't think so. I just think.
I think I'm just like, all these gay, all these gay guys do this.
Yeah, I mean any I I think a healthy human being wants to
have a healthy appetite for sex. I completely, I think that's
also how you make a long lasting relationship work.
Sorry for sure cheating behind closed doors.
Oh my God, that's the thing. That's the thing.
It's hot, sure. What I.
Sure, it's hot. I'm not gonna cosign that one.
In theory, yes, but people cheat.
Period. Full stop.
But also people will be in open relationships, have boundaries,
and still cross those boundaries of.
Course, I've had friends who've done that and I and I think that
could happen. But I mean, he would wake up
from dreams sobbing, being like, and I'm like, what's what's
going on? He's like, you cheated on me in
my dream and he'd be mad at me for the rest of the day.
That I've heard this trope. Dream Mike would cheat on him
and I'm like, I I've never given you a reason to believe I've
done anything to cross the line because I haven't and I never
did. But like, and I'm also friendly
whenever I talk to anyone, even if I'm attracted to them, I will
be friendly and smiley and like, you know, I'll be grabbing their
bulge, but it's just have it's just platonic.
It's. Platonic.
We're kissing, but it's friends. It's French, it's French.
We're anally friends. It's.
French also, it's what the French do with their friends.
Yeah. But like, I think by the end I
was like, yeah, I'm going to need more if we're going to be
in this together. I just think I need variety
because of bottom to bottom I'm going to need more and like.
Bottom to bottom, that could be the episode.
Bottom to bottom, B to BI Drove there thinking maybe we could
still save this. I think deep down I knew not
possible, but I 'cause I was like, I'm going to go in and
tell him I need this no matter what and we'll see what he says
to that. And I did.
And he basically was like, well, you have to promise.
Of course, did this outside of the Starbucks Reserve because it
was at night and it was closed. So we did this in the parking
lot of the Starbucks Reserve in Los Feliz.
Yeah, I know it. And he was like, you have to
promise. You have to promise me that we
can go to couples therapy and like we can work on this, But if
I never get there, if I never get there, you have to promise
me that you're OK with that. EW, when I was like I just said
no. When I and that that was truly,
I remember third eye opened. I feel like I was levitating off
the ground at this point 'cause I was like, no, I can't, I can't
accept that for myself. No, literally it was like the
first time in my life I'd ever set a boundary.
Oh my God, set a boundary and chose myself.
Outside of a Starbucks Reserve of all places.
And I literally was like, why would why would I agree to that
when I know I would be lying to you and you'd be lying to
yourself? And then we're just what
hurtling towards the end and prolonging our.
Suffering. Yeah, both lying to ourselves.
No, I'm going to end this now for both of us.
Because you deserve what you deserve.
And you deserve what you deserve.
What you want. I deserve what I want.
This isn't working. And I love you, but love is not
enough. I kept on saying love is not
enough. It's not, which sucks, but like
yeah, we broke up and like since then I've wanted to enter a
relationship. But oh, still of.
Course, but now with a certain I think that's why I haven't is
because the the the threshold now is so high.
It's so high. I'm glad.
Yeah, I'm not going to enter something unless it feels like
the person feels like my hung top.
He feels like my hung top. Maybe you should get back on
Craigslist. I I don't.
Know if you can. I have been curious to see who's
who's. I think they got rid of the
personals, yeah. I'm like literally taking my hat
off. That's like.
I know. A moment of silence.
Yeah, I know of silence for. I think I have five years ago.
Isn't that crazy? But you are on the apps sort of
OK. I, I I'm I'm, I'm off and on.
Talk to us about that. Is there an ebb and flow or is
there? Yeah, I mean, I'm like a
validation addict. I think a lot of performers are.
Everyone in everyone in Los Angeles is, I know, really
original. Thing I mean really.
Original thing to be, but like I would get chronically addicted
to hinge, especially in grinder sometimes.
But like hinge, like grinder would be waves, but hinge would
be like. If I have Hinge on my phone, I'm
gonna be checking it 'cause I'm gonna want the love of my, the
validation of finding, of matching with the love of my
life, checking the like the lights.
Like, Oh my God. Yeah.
But of course, especially LA, there's not much turnover at
this point. I basically know everyone.
There's maybe one to two, maybe one new top a year that moves to
Los Angeles. It might be like a new batch of
gay guys have 1010 new gay guys every year.
Yeah. But like like three of them are
like young actor types, which I'm not even four of them are
unstable bottoms. Stay away.
Two you're not attracted to and then the one is like, oh, maybe
him. But also, what's your problem?
Why aren't you taken? It's all the it's all the
things. But like I've I've I've deleted
myself from hinge fully 'cause I was down there in New York and I
I expected to be the love of my life in New York.
That didn't happen. Fine, had great sex.
I think New York is no from, I mean from both actually, but.
New York guys are hotter than LA guys.
They just are. Even the air, even just the air
of them. It's like I know.
Well, most of them aren't In our industry, that's the hottest.
Thing and they're actually like smart and well.
Rounded And they have to be to survive in New York and to
present. Like when you see a hot guy on a
subway, I'm like, what do you do?
No, there's nothing hotter in the world.
And then he, you know, some sometimes he works for like the
fucking UN and has and it's not like he.
Or he is like a CrossFit guy and he's reading and he's let me get
in there. TikTok, which is so fucking hot.
I know I hooked up with some TikTok corporates I know in in
New York but didn't fall in love.
I expected to fall in love in New York and it's OK.
That's on me. I didn't.
It is on you. It's your fault.
I know it is. I know it's my fault and I'm
punishing myself every day for it.
I've been celibate since I moved back.
No, that's not true. But I moved back staying on
Hinge, and I was like, well, maybe there's some turnover.
Of course it's all the same. Wait what happened though when I
haven't been on hinge in years? What's it look like?
Does it go you've gone through all the hinges or like does it
stop showing you people or does it just recycle?
My, my mental health can't handle that.
To get to, to, to say, to get to the point where it's you've.
I'm eating Bumble does that they go you've turned out of no in
the. Past I've gotten there on Hinge
and it's a terrible feeling. We're like, honey, there's no
one left. Like we have no one left to
show. You but.
Hinge, they've also they've, I think my biggest problem with
Hinge, it's gotten so evil in terms of making money that like
it's every, every good guy is behind a paywall.
You need to pay for it. Yes, you're behind the paywall.
If you're not paying for like the most premium version,
they're not showing you to the hottest guys.
I paid 21 for grinder whatever. I did the same cause grinder's
not usable without. No, it's literally not usable.
It's not usable. It is a video game that serves
you. It's a video game with guys on
the side. I went off for a minute 'cause I
was like, I'm going to get off apps for forever.
I. Was like, I'm going to make it
harder to. Use and then I got, I tried to,
I was like, well first of all I broke and I got on grinder and
then an ad every three things that you do.
Also the most confusing ad you've ever seen.
I'm like sick sick and twisted app game ads.
I'm like where are they getting the money for this?
And am I the Are these the men I'm looking at who are being
advertised this thing? Most of the time, and that's why
it takes so long for them to respond.
They got to beat a few levels. Crazy.
Do you sniffies I've never used? Yeah, I'm on Sniffies.
Sniffies has become Sniffies to me is a little bit more
voyeurism for me not. Are you voyeuristic?
Only in that, like, I do think about sex a lot.
I think sex is really interesting.
I I'm endlessly fascinated by it.
And Sniffies has is so like, cut to the chase.
What are you most fascinated by this maybe these days?
I guess it's like that. I can see I, I like there's a
bunch of Dicks hovering around my apartment and I go, whose
Dicks are these? 'Cause that's the thing, you can
make your profile a Dick, right? Yeah, I maybe I.
Should look into it maybe. Actually, maybe as best I don't
'cause I'll. Yeah, I've considered it
backsliding. What as far as like, oh, I
should get off the apps and it's like, well, this is like the
most. It's a website.
Heroin version but it's save an app too.
Oh shit. Also, OK, so I will tell you and
I don't know where you stand on oral sex.
Love it. There's a site called a website
called The Blowers and you're either a blower, blowy or both
and you can leave. It should be bloth.
You can leave reviews. And but it's just, it's just for
blow jobs. Yeah.
And but you're more side these days, so you probably like this.
I love it. I am gay in the way where I
needed a. Dick in my butt.
Yeah, I do. I got that sense.
I am like and thank you so much. I that is unfortunately how I
want to. I want them to come inside me
totally and I want to come at the same time ideally.
Nice. Charlotte.
That is that's so funny when I'm when I'm getting effed in the B,
they need to come first piece of I come first.
It quickly feels, yeah, I'm like I'm.
Indiana Jones Indiana Jones Get. Your hat and get out.
Yeah, all of a sudden I'm like, this is weird feeling.
I understand this. I think if I'm really into it, I
can keep going if I come first. But if I'm like wanting it to be
over, it's like, well, it's really funny how the whole
really is it it? Yeah, it's its own.
It's its own entity. It's mind a whole connection and
it's just 'cause there's there's been like lately, maybe I'm just
looser, maybe I'm just older. But like there have been big,
big Dicks that like I'm so into and I'm so like attracted to the
person that it just, I take it so easily.
Yeah, but there are Dicks that are smaller that I'm.
Like is psychological harder where if you want the Dick, your
booty will eat the Dick. Chomp chomp.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
Miss Pac-Man like. Like you after the drought.
Me me. Just eating anything.
I yeah, so I came back to New York and I delete.
I came back from New York and I quickly was like, well, I
exhausted my interests on Hinge and so I deleted myself because
if I just delete the app, I will go I will to be downloaded it
three times a day sometimes. So I fully deleted myself.
I'm only on say it with me RYA this month.
RYA. I've been on RYA twice in my
life. Suck the balls both.
Of them, I think that's why I like it, because you're one,
you're paying and so it's terrible and two, it's terrible
to use, so you're on it less and three, you're matching with.
Guys, do you hear yourself? Yeah.
I hear it, but it's like it scratches an itch.
It's not right. I'm an addict.
An addict using and. Do you really identify as an
addict of. Something no, I guess that's
what Anne and I say of just like we are validation addicts in
that way of like that's The thing is if you were like Mike,
you can't be on any apps. I would be fine.
I would like, I would, I could go about my day and I might be a
little sad of not getting that quick hit.
You get over it. It'd be fine.
Exactly. I'd be fine.
So that's why I'm like, I don't think I really identify as an
addict, but I think the validation, I think that is
just. My own it's a strong pull.
It's a very strong pull and then Grinder I go.
I put myself in Grinder jail, which I don't know if anyone
else does this, but I've coined that term of Grinder jail, which
is when I give my password to one of my best friends and they
change it and so I'm locked out. I haven't deleted my profile
'cause that's the other thing is Grinder has a website too.
If you pay for premium you can use the website.
But I didn't realize I'll delete the app and I'll just I'll like
all the time. I should do work on my laptop.
I'm doing a work on my laptop and then all of a sudden I've
like blinked and I'm on web.grinder.com.
And so if I put myself in jail, the account's still there.
I can all I and I'll. And then it's that added step of
like. Hey can I have my?
Grinder, can you just log in for me?
Wow. And so it makes it adds that a
little that helpful like extra, it feels like A2 factor.
Factor authentication. Yeah, like on Friday I literally
like I had my roommate, we were home, I was like in early for
the night and I was like, you know what, I just want I I'll
delete it. I'll delete it before I go to
bed. But I just want to check grinder
for a few hours and maybe see if someone wants to come over and
cuddle because I was like more like I just it would be nice to
cuddle with someone right now. You're one of those.
Well, no, I want sex. I was thinking it's like I'm a
romantic. Who?
Wants to be. Bred at all times.
It's not funny. I'm a romantic who wants to be
bred at all times. It's so funny.
But some guys who are just like, to me, oddly enough, a guy
cuddling me is so much more intimate than just exchanging
fluids real quick. Absolutely.
But I guess I like that extra step of intimacy.
I'm in a place I think where I am not looking for the like
anonymous hookup where like I'm looking.
For a thing like I'm connected. I wanna like meet, we can
literally talk for 10 seconds, but I at least want to like, OK,
I, I like our vibe. I can sense the vibe enough
where we're hooking up and then like we're talking a bit as
we're hooking up or we're taking breaks and we're talking and
it's actually like. Maybe you jump to the cell phone
instead of Grinder. Maybe he could sleep over and
like all like, you know what I mean?
Like I'm fucked because also there's nothing I have more than
morning sex. Like waking up and getting
fucked is my favorite thing in the world.
Oh my God. Yes, I don't trust myself
because I usually poop like 2 hours after I wake up.
If I haven't had coffee, fine, the trap door stays closed cuz
I'm douche. I'm also, I don't know how you
are with douching, but I'm very I'm very adamant about like for
my own like it's just a mental thing of like I just want I take
fiber pills. Yeah, who knows what the fuck
that does, actually. I'm sure if you stop shaking
them you'd realize. A difference would be slush
beer. Yeah, I'd be slush, but I.
He'd be Turkey gravy. Oh Yum fountain drink.
No. I, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm pretty
diligent with my douching. So like if I'm douching for
someone to come over and they're spending the night, I know I'm
good until coffee. Even just by like, eating at
like dinner time. Yeah, wow.
But you know, look, but also you never know.
You never know. I have white and I bravely have
white sheets now, so. Like Oh no I don't.
I have white sheets. Once keeps me honest.
Dude it. Keeps me honest.
I I don't have the energy. No staying yet.
Even I'm just like a natural like oily like or like something
like I understand it's discolored they're.
New enough where that's not an issue.
I've held you hostage for a long time.
Let's just play a quick round of Hot or Not and then we'll wrap
things up. This is where I just list topics
and you tell me if you find them hot or not.
Great group sex. How many?
I'm already asking questions. Great.
No, that's a very great question.
Or let's start with threesome. Hot.
And then what is your ideal threesome look like?
22 hung tops. And are they in a relationship
or is it 3? So my my I my couple last year I
had a married couple that I would I I should see them soon.
Honestly I miss them but they're both like they're both like hung
toppy energy married to each other.
Would like get off watching each other fuck me and like.
Are there creators? Not creators, not creators, but
very chic, fashionable New York LA bicoastal gay guys.
One was Russian, the other one's from the Valley I think.
The Russia of California. They were they they I felt I can
I also like talking to both of them too.
Like I actually enjoyed being friends with them and like we'd
also fuck and it was like and it was really hot.
They tried to double penetrate me that not you didn't even give
me. Double pen, not hot.
To me, to me it's. Not hot, just logistically.
I'm really like, are we Cirque du Soleil here?
I, I don't want to be that loose.
I don't need to be fisted because I'm just like, I like
something I'm proud of. Is that it?
It's elastic, but it it, it is it's like tight, but it loose.
Yeah, yeah. But it snaps back and I don't
want to get ever get to a point where.
No snap. No, there's an echo.
I don't. OK, continue.
You also said fisting not hot, so you clear those off the
thing. OK, but you said group, so let's
say five guys. I've never done it.
I've been, I'm going to say not. I think that starts to stress me
out. Can I start 'cause once again 2
tops and me? I know the dynamic is they are
both into me. Oh, but with like I just start.
To like. I get very stressed with the
like. Is everyone happy?
Yeah, and am I happy? And am I like, 'cause like there
was the, I've done threesomes where like 1's the top one's
verse and then I'm like more into the top than the other guy.
And like then I'm like I start to be like, oh, but I gotta make
sure they're feeling taken care of.
And so it's it takes me back to the people.
Please people. Pleaser to me even like I get a
little disoriented with 60 nining.
I'm like I can't feel good and and do a good job right now.
I think it's fun truly for the one second where you're like,
let's do it. And then it's you're like, OK,
this is hard. Yeah, this is logistically not.
Comfortable. Better for me if I'm sitting on
a guy's face and sucking his Dick.
Love that, Love that. What do we call?
Do we? Is that not?
I think that's 60 nining too if especially if it's like bussy.
It almost feels like Infinity to me.
I know that's not right, but it feels like there's.
Infinity I'm. Going to call that an Infinity,
OK. New term.
Because it really also it feels a little bit more.
Cyclical it does snaky in a toe tail the.
Whole the whole today moment, I know it just feels right to me.
What a car sex. Not only because I'm tall, but
just I I in theory I liked it. I think that's also a lot of my
like, origin story, began this car sex.
Of course. I think for all of us but also
trauma as well from the straight car hookup I would I would have
with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, so I'm going to say not.
Significant age gap. Hot, but only above me.
I don't want to. I'm not into. 1920.
You have to be a very specific type of like 21.
I won't go below 21. And you have to be a like D1
athlete like a with a Anaconda. Wait, what about that?
Wait, what is that? What is that frat porn?
Oh. For fraternity, no.
Fraternity X No. What is it?
No, what is? You know what I'm talking about
though? It's very like, very amateur.
Big bro, little bro. Yeah, but it's.
Like they never have sex, they would just like blow each other.
Oh no, this one, I they have sex and when it when I I'll send
stuff to your office. Please thank you send to my
assistant. OK, OK, OK, rough sex or sex
that might leave a mark. Hot.
Really. I like.
I'm a little, I'm a little subby.
Yeah, OK. So.
I don't need like, I don't need to be called like bitch boy, but
like. So maybe no degradation, just.
You don't need that. I do like words of affirmation.
You're a good cum slut. Yeah, like while you feel like
I'm fine with your pussy. Feels good.
Yeah, you can call it a pussy. You don't mind that?
Okay, okay, don't. Call it a bitch pussy, I'm gonna
get. Emotional.
You like you like that. I'm you're open to that.
But here's the thing. I'm probably gonna laugh at it.
That's things I don't know if you get.
I don't know if you bring your sense of humor into the bedroom,
but like. I for everyone's sake, I try not
to. See, but that's something that
turns me on so much is when you can like it is like we are,
that's intimate. It is.
It's so intimate and it's also so ridiculous.
We are strangers who are inside like we are.
No, yeah. We are truly doing the most
intimate thing in the world and it's so fucking silly that I
don't know your. I did bring my now looking back,
I went on three great dates with this boy and they were great.
And then he ended things because he said like, Oh, I he's not
ready or like I'm so great and so intentional and so sweet and
so all these things. But we that like laughed a lot,
and that didn't stop despite being naked.
Yes. And I think that's the, I think
it's the sexiest. Thing I was into it.
Hey, I was. Sexiest thing in the world.
I was into it. And I like it.
So I like a daddy. I do like a daddy.
That was my type for the longest time.
But like someone who's like 15 years older than me is really,
really fucking hot. 50, like 10 to 20 years older.
Sure, nipple play. Are you wired?
I'm not. So I, I guess I'll say hot it,
well, maybe not, but hot in the sense that like when you are, I
understand how beautiful that can be, but I, I am not wired
whatsoever. So it's just a it is truly just
for show, really. These are display only.
I like my nipples. I got good nipples, but they
don't. They literally, it's just like
you're touching it. I, I, I dated a guy who had two
sensitive nipples. Yeah, where like if you touch
it, it felt like sandpaper. Oh, no, it felt like sandpaper.
It was like so sensitive. I was like, so I had to
literally be like careful around his nipples.
You're gonna get your pasties, your sex pasties.
I should have. I should have gotten him
pasties. Are you wired?
No. Well, are it like sometimes I
think it comes and goes like in a moment, maybe it's like when
I'm super turned on and then like a well timed nip pinch.
What's the most sensitive part of your body?
Is there a part of your body that someone touches that like?
This small on my back. Sorry, the gay the gay
Charlotte. You literally just like you
change something changed. That's just the most romantic,
the small of your back. For me it is my like my actual
like not even my hole, my cheeks like if you are, if you are, if
you grab my ass and like squeeze and jiggle it, that's like putt
and putty to you. Literally, that's the part of
you that always wants to get bread.
You're like, Oh my God, I'm going to get some jizzum.
Some jizzum. This is the prelude to Jizz.
I, I think I know I'm going to get exactly what I want.
And then it's like when you meet the the worst is when you meet
someone out and you're like dancing and you're making out,
but like no one's hand. I'm, I'm not grabbing his butt,
He's not grabbing my butt. And I'm like, so we're kind of
just. Like, come on, I'm like.
Well, one of us is. God, he took me back to like
when I used to go out dancing and stuff when I was in my 20s.
Do not go out anymore. I mean, I'll go, but I'm
definitely not like on many dance floors and I don't drink,
so it's like I'm usually there for like a friend's thing.
And I'm like at the beginning of the event, not the end of the
event. Same because I don't drink
either. Oh, I didn't know that.
No, I don't drink, but I'll do I Do I microdose mushrooms.
OK, OK, OK. Or I'll do some K if I'm like,
if it's like that type of party when I know I'm not going to
like I'm dancing, I'm not talking to people.
Sure. And then if you heard of the
drug, three MMC, yes, yes, meow, meow.
Yeah, that's finally made its way to LA I'm like.
I'm so happy. For it, and I did it on Saturday
and it was great. Really.
Yeah. Was there a bad come down or
anything? No, that's what's beautiful
about it. There's no, it's like it's short
term Molly. It lasts like 90.
Minutes. It lasts 90 minutes.
Don't tease me, sorry. That sounds so nice it.
Lasts like 90 minutes. It's like a very calm up.
It's not like AI feel like Molly often times can feel.
Like a meth. It can feel like a methy.
Cuz there's meth in it. Because there's meth.
This not methy very chill and then no calm down.
You might be up a little bit like it might, but I just take a
week on me to go to bed anyway so like.
OK, so on that note, drug infused sex.
Not well I guess. Hot I usually because I feel
like I'm usually hooking up with guys at night when I'd taken my
weed edible. Oh, OK.
And I do always find myself to be like looser or horny or more
into it, like less in my head. I think there's like the veil
lifting is sometimes nice of just not being in your head.
But I don't need it. It's not a definitive hot, but
like because I'm also well, are you thinking poppers in this?
Sure. And hot.
I do love poppers. I wasn't thinking of poppers
but. Poppers, poppers.
To me, it's like a it's like a utility in my utility.
It's like a tool in my utility belt.
It's not I need poppers to come. It's.
Like. No, it's like literally this
will help me loosen a garnish. This will help me literally
loosen up and also loosen up. Like it's like.
Oh, twofold. I just I, they're part of my
sobriety that I don't use them. But towards the end of my
drinking and using, I love to like, turn off and like hip
hoppers. And see, I don't really do it on
my own. I only do it when someone's
inside me. Good for you and I I don't need.
I don't even own a weird bottom. I don't even own a dildo I I
only wanted like a flash stick in my butt.
Actually, I have. So when I had my Netflix radio
show, which was this, they gave me a bouquet of dildos like when
they ended the show. So you're welcome to 1 if you
want. I was.
Gonna say do you give every guest a dildo?
I don't, but if it's in the if it might add to your life, it's
crazy or you do not. I was gonna say like, OK, so sex
toys. They don't.
I guess not because I don't really use them.
Yeah, I don't. I also am not really craving a
guy like taking out a toy. Sure.
So not. But because I'm once again, I
want, I just want that thing. I want that thing.
The me, the me. I, I how I've been putting it.
It's like, I think it's the most to me, it feels like the most
vulnerable thing in the world is like inviting someone in, of
course. So I think that's what I I crave
that the invitation and that intimacy of I'm you're in my,
I'm in my home. Yeah.
Welcome. To my home shoes off.
Shoes off but no condom. No condom.
Come. Come on the walls.
Yeah. Hot.
Yeah. But I'm not like, drinking it.
I'm not like I don't need it on. My But you want it on your butt?
Yeah, all the time. Ideally I'll take it on, I'll
take it anywhere but like, but you don't.
I guess I'm not like come hungry.
OK, I guess my hole is yeah, but like.
It's like for yourself. Hole is hedison.
OK, Yeah. I'm not, I'm not against it.
I'm. Deliveries in the rear.
Yeah, I OK, I guess I am. Drop Amazon back.
I guess I'm off in the back. I guess I am.
And why am I lying to myself? That's OK.
No, it's a good differentiation. But you know how there are some
guys who are literally like. On my tongue like they're on
blowers. Yes, they're on.
They're blowy. They're blowy blower, blower.
OK, sorry. I'm sorry, new to the terminal.
Don't disrespect my Oh, OK. And the last thing we'll do is,
what's a piece of advice you give to young Mike before he
began his sexual journey? Wow, Start smaller no?
No what literally ever. And I was like, no, take the cap
off. Take the fucking cat off.
Literally Mike, don't do it. Put a condom on it at least.
I've done that before, put the condom on the thing and.
Then what was the thing? Well, I started with sharpie
markers. Small.
That's really I'm like. It went right in you.
Can put like just like keep. Going, I'm sure you could have a
bundle. I could out the front all the
way. Fucking magician act.
OK. I I would tell my I would tell
Mike. I would tell him Don't hook up
with that frat guy who wouldn't tell you his name.
And if he puts a pillow over his face, you should probably walk
away. Wait, wait, wait.
It just feels like a story. It is because he gave me crabs
and like. And he covered his face like so
he. I'm not, I'm not kidding.
He wouldn't tell me his name. Which ones?
If they won't tell you their name, it's not.
He's Shouldn't they also be ready with a fake name?
Yeah, give me. I don't care.
Exactly. I'm like, tell me you're.
But he's Todd. He.
Was dumb he. Was like dumb frat guy.
Yeah, it was my last hookup I had in in college.
But he came inside, won Tommy's name.
I went to go get like Lube from the bathroom and I come into my
room. He's hurting, naked, hard,
pillow over his face. Had you not seen him yet?
And I, I mean, I, I invited him into the into the house and
then. Was he acting weird?
Yeah, I mean, he was extremely nervous and like not looking at
me and I. So he was just like, sit on it.
Didn't even say that just like literally their hard lying there
and I sat on it and he gave me crabs and that's one of my and
like it last little crabs. I could not get rid of butthole.
Crabs. No, it was pube pube crabs.
I don't shave. You don't shave.
No, me neither. I love a full book.
Same. I like not touching anything.
Yeah, whenever. Oh my God.
Nothing more eerie than a penis with shaved.
It looks and then it's pokey. Yeah, sure, but it's just like
what? It looks so foreign like, so
alien like. I'd also say like, don't modify
yourself for another guy. I know that's like not funny
advice, but it's like. This is not all funny.
You're right. Yeah.
You know, we can be deep, too. We can.
We've gotten deep. The humor's there.
But no, I like I I I would do that often.
I think I would like I had a guy once tell me he wouldn't fuck me
unless I wax my hole. Yeah, I had that guy too.
Oh, was that Sam? He had a big thing.
OK, did he have an American flag tattoo on his butt?
No. OK, different guy then.
I think you'd remember that, no? Wait, was this a kind of a
blondish guy? Yes, I've hooked up with him.
I have because I remember that American flag this guy that I
was talking about was not that we're sisters.
Oh my God, but it must have been that I just like blew him.
This is years ago this. Would have been.
Years ago, this was maybe 10 years.
Ago. I mean, you're talking like 12
for me. Wow.
But like, he was, I remember because he had a beautiful big
Dick, he did. The American flag tattoo.
God should have been the biggest red flag right there.
Like literally nowadays I'd be like, what do you fucking mean
with that? I couldn't even take his house.
So I think he was like Scottish or something as well.
He was like British. It was like he didn't have an
accent, but he was like, he was like half of that.
Like he was from either born there and brought over early I
remember. I did to think about it.
Well, it doesn't matter. Let's not think about it.
But he was like, I won't fuck you unless you wax your hole.
And I went and yeah, I got my first wax, my first and only
wax. I was like, I don't.
And then it grows back and you're like itchy hole.
Yeah, and also I kind of like, you know what?
I like my hairy hole. Yeah, and guys go crazy.
For it guys love a hairy hole. Crazy for it because it's manly,
sure, and we're nothing if not it's.
Manly. And it's sensory.
Yeah, it's sensory too. You're getting some text.
You're getting some. Texture and a little souvenir
because they're like. Something to Remember Me by,
yeah. Come on, a booty hole hair.
So don't modify your body. Don't, yeah.
So don't mod, don't or don't modify.
Like, don't modify yourself to like, try to fit the fantasy of
someone else 'cause you should be the you should be.
The you are the. Fantasy.
Oh, that's beautiful. You are the fantasy.
Tell the Tower Bottoms where they can find love and support
you. At Sponge M123 across all
platforms. How did Sponge Mike happen?
I, I was obsessed with SpongeBob growing up and I thought, well,
isn't that funny if I'm not SpongeBob, but I'm Sponge Mike.
I wrote my college essay on SpongeBob, like get into
college, and that was received very well.
And so I kind of just like, I was like, you know what, I'm
just going to make that my thing.
But to be clear, Sponge Mike was taken.
Sponge Mike was taken. So I was like, well, what about
1-2? Three.
Wow. And then I I thought about
rebranding to Big Gay Mike also taken the game like 1-2 three.
But I was just like, you know what people call me Sponge Mike.
Yeah, Oh, that's the curse of social media.
I've introduced people as their handle because I was like blank.
And I'm like. I know there's some people that
you own. I mean, do you know Joey
Capuana? Maybe.
OK, well on online he's Joey Christmas, so for a long time I
thought his last name is Christmas.
But it's and that's on him. That is on him, but his last
name is Capuana. It's not Christmas but he people
know him as Joey Christmas. Wow.
Jeremy, it's just like, that's just how it happens.
Meet Benny Drama. He's Benny Drama.
Mike, thank you so much for doing this.
Thank you for having me truly I think what a way to start.
I think it's the two parter because we talked for a long
time. Yeah, Jesus, it's one.
Is it really OK come see me on the road?
Support Mike, find him, check out the YouTube to see how hot
he is. And until next time, keep
sucking him. Fucking Hello, Tower Bottoms.
It's me, your host, Zach Newey Towers.
Thank you so much for listening to Good Side Pod.
If you haven't already, give it a five star rating.
Leave a review, share it with a friend, get the word out.
I love you so much.