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Hello Little Tower Bottom. 
As you probably already saw from

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the episode titled, this is Part
2 of My Conversation with Mike. 

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So if you haven't listened to 
part one, do that now. 

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But if you already have and 
you're chomping it a bit for the

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rest of his story, get ready for
Part 2 more. 

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Do you? 
Do you consider yourself a 

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relationship, girly or? 
I'm a gay Charlotte. 

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I am a gay Charlotte. 
Oh, you want like? 

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But I say gay Charlotte because,
like, I love sex and I have a 

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lot of it, but I'm a romantic. 
At the end of the day I can 

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romanticize any situation but I 
like I've only been in one long 

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term relationship so I can't 
call myself a relationship girl.

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2 1/2 years and. 
It is it what you want though? 

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Yes, desperately. 
Are you? 

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No. 
No. 

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You don't want a relationship. 
I mean, I don't, I don't 

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consider it as a priority. 
A priority really, or a metric 

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of success? 
That's a that's an interesting 

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way to think about it because I 
don't necessarily consider it a 

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metric of success, but I am 
like, God, why are, why are we 

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here otherwise? 
So maybe I do, but I'm like, I 

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don't look it up, like, oh, 
they're successful. 

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They've done it. 
But I am like, God, I want to, 

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yeah, I just want to come home 
to. 

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I just want to come home to one 
person. 

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Sure, I get that. 
I guess I see the merit in that.

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I also see so many friends who 
have sacrificed a lot of time 

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and happiness for this thing. 
That was my first relationship 

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experience and like, I think I 
learned a lot from that being 

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like, oh, this shouldn't be 
something where you're like, he 

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has of course, compromise and 
like it's. 

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Too, but in a deficit the whole 
time. 

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Exactly. 
It's the deficit of it. 

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It's like, oh, I was robbing 
myself a lot of like, joy. 

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And for what? 
You know. 

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To do the thing to do the thing 
because he thought that's what 

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you do. 
You know what I mean? 

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I was like, and I wanted to 
because once again, my best 

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friend in college, he had like I
saw him go from like truly like 

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he had like four or five 
boyfriends over the course of 

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our like time in college. 
And so I was like, well, it just

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happens for people like that and
you're just always in 

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relationships and some people 
are just always in relationships

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and some people aren't. 
And I was so desperate to be in 

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one out here. 
I tried the amount of like Hinge

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dates I went on. 
Is that when you got your 2 1/2 

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year? 
Down till COVID though, it's 

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like I was already out here for 
like. 

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Damn people needed to be like 
it's this or. 

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Already out here 4 years. 
I was already out here four 

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years. 
But of course the minute I like 

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found my sense of self in like 
self worth, that is when it 

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happened for the first time. 
But it took COVID. 

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Was it Hinge? 
It was Hinge, but it took, it 

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took a world epidemic for me to 
finally be like, wait, maybe I 

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shouldn't like treat me like 
that. 

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Wait, that's so interesting. 
So you did let you. 

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For the greater good, let's say,
Or for like the sake of keeping 

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people happy, you would like 
you'd compromise. 

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Absolutely. 
Once again, I would be whatever 

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they needed me to be or it was 
always my fault. 

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Why wasn't I like, why wasn't I 
enough? 

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Why wasn't I what they were 
looking for versus the like, 

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wait, why do you treat me? 
Why are you? 

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Why are you treating me? 
I'm awesome. 

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I'm treating you well. 
Why am I not getting it back? 

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Yeah, I mean, there was a guy 
that I was really into who like 

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1, he wouldn't have sex. 
This was like before I was on 

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Prep so like he wouldn't fuck me
without a condom and. 

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Stingy. 
Rude it's fine but he was like 

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it's not worth it for me if I if
I have to fuck you with a condom

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and he grabbed my belly fat and 
was like should I try the keto 

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diet? 
Was he gorgeous? 

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He was, in my opinion, like at 
the time I was like, Oh my God, 

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this hot guy wants me. 
Was he a good kisser? 

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Yeah, he was a good kisser. 
Why? 

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I just feel like a lot of really
hot guys are bad kissers. 

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I think the truth is maybe he 
wasn't, but I was. 

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I was like, he's he's hot, so 
he's good. 

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I don't remember him being 
remarkable in bed by any means, 

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but like he also drove ABMW in a
way where I was like, you 

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definitely don't make money. 
I was like, how are you 

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affording this? 
I don't like that either. 

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I. 
Think we know that type of gay 

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guy though. 
Definitely. 

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You know, maybe a 2, two hands 
full. 

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And after the break, we're going
to name them. 

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I'm just kidding. 
We don't have breaks on this 

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show. 
But but yeah, so I think it 

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took, it took me not being able 
to see anyone because I would 

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come home from every first date 
living my my best friend Emma. 

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When we lived, we lived together
and I would come home from every

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day and be like well. 
He's the one. 

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I met him. 
I was like, this one was 

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different. 
I'm not, I'm not kidding, every 

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single day that I would come 
home and be like, well, this one

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was different. 
There was one good time where I 

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want to deal with this guy who 
really was cute and my and I on 

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paper, he looked like what I 
wanted my boyfriend to be. 

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Do you know what I mean? 
I was like this is what I am. 

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Oh, I revisit the paper people 
where I'm like. 

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I know on all the boxes on 
paper. 

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All the boxes and then you hang 
out with them for 4 minutes and 

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you're like, Oh yeah. 
Well, he pretended to be he he 

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told me his parents were from a 
different country, so he had an 

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accent and he said, let's see if
you can guess when we show up 

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when, when we go on our date 
where I'm from show up, he has 

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an Australian accent. 
So I'm like, oh, he's from 

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Australia. 
I started asking all these 

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questions about Australia. 
I'm look, I'm very good at, I'm 

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very good at dates. 
Like I, I asked a lot of 

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questions. 
I will mediate. 

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I will leave the date. 
I don't want to always have to, 

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I wanted to, I don't want to be 
in my head thinking about that. 

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To me, that's a sign of a good 
date. 

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But I was asking all these 
questions and then 25 minutes 

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and he's like breaks his his 
Australian accent and he's like,

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I can't do this anymore. 
I'm sorry. 

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I thought it'd be funny to have 
an like to pretend to be from 

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Australia, but you really were 
being genuine and asking a lot 

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of questions. 
And I started to feel bad about 

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it. 
I was like, oh, I convinced 

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myself. 
I was like, that's so funny. 

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That's so funny of you that you 
did that. 

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That's what a good babe. 
That's crazy. 

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No. 
And then I and I came home and 

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he's a flight attendant. 
I came home and I was like, 

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Emma, he did this really funny 
thing. 

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And she was like, Mike, that's 
crazy. 

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That's. 
Weird. 

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That's like psychopathic 
behavior. 

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Kind of. 
He led you to believe he was a 

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different person and he was that
good at it where you believed 

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him for like for. 
I definitely wouldn't like that.

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Well, I had a second date 
already lined up with him and I 

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was like, I don't know, he's a 
flight attendant. 

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Like we could, like we could do 
dinner in Paris and desert in 

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Dubai. 
She always says that to me. 

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That's exactly what I said. 
I said dinner in Paris, desert 

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in. 
Dubai. 

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I was already building our life 
together with this. 

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Fantasy, it's so real. 
And then our second date, we 

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drove around, we like, we got 
like a 20 minute outdoor dinner 

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at Kismer Rotisserie. 
Do you know Kismer Rotisserie? 

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Is what's a 20 minute outdoor 
dinner? 

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And literally it's like you 
order at the counter. 

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So it's like we were done with 
things like 20 minutes. 

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It's just like, it was just 
really like a quick outdoor 

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dinner. 
And then we just drove around 

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for like an hour. 
And he, I remember him talking 

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about his love of Amy Klobuchar.
Awesome. 

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And then he's going to come up 
into mind. 

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And I was like, great. 
Like I was like, my roommates 

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might be up, but like, no 
worries. 

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They're chill. 
He's like, whoa. 

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And like started backing away. 
He was like, you didn't tell me 

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you had roommates. 
I was like, yeah. 

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I mean, it's, you know, we're 
mid 20s. 

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I was like, yeah, I have 
roommates. 

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He's like, I don't feel 
comfortable coming inside, 

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'cause I don't want to have to 
meet your roommates yet. 

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He's like, that feels like too. 
And that feels. 

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Too. 
Wait, how old is he? 

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He was maybe like 2 years 
younger than me. 

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He was maybe like 24. 
He was maybe like 2324. 

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And I was like, OK, well we're 
here. 

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I don't know what else to do. 
We literally got back in his car

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'cause he didn't. 
And I drove around more because 

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he didn't want to come inside. 
Also, he was a flight attendant 

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that was presumably a top. 
That's interesting. 

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Who's to say we never got that 
far so. 

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No. 
No, that was the last time I saw

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him. 
He wouldn't. 

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He wouldn't come in. 
He wouldn't come inside and 

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wouldn't come inside me. 
And I never saw him again. 

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Wow, yeah. 
Wait, when was the two year 

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relationship? 
And then oh. 

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Pandemic. 
COVID happened, I was not able 

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to see anyone which I think 
really helped force me to be 

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like. 
Of course. 

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I should have standards. 
Wait, what if I What if? 

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I it could have gotten worse. 
Yeah, you're OK. 

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That's actually a fairpoint. 
Yeah. 

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It didn't. 
It actually got better. 

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I was able to be like, OK, why 
would I let any guy like I 

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wouldn't. 
If this was a new friend, I 

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wouldn't let a new friend treat 
me like this. 

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That's how I was able to reframe
it. 

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I was like. 
A brilliant way. 

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And I was like, I wouldn't let a
nude friend treat me like this. 

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Why would I let a guy treat me 
like this? 

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And so that allowed me to start 
to like course correct a bit and

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I'd go and Hinge dates in the 
same location in Elysian Park. 

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Like it was like my controlled 
environment. 

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We'd be 6 feet apart on two 
different blankets. 

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The pandemic, it's just like, 
no, this was like like May to I 

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guess it probably. 
When did we start going on dates

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again? 
Like maybe July through like 

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August October 2020 and then 
finally I went on a date in the 

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park with my ex and it was just 
that date that just like it was 

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like 4 hours in the park and 
then we ended U going to get 

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dinner outdoors and it just kind
of KET going and then we. 

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Kissed the first night. 
We did, which I lied to my room 

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it's about, but we did kiss 
'cause I obviously I broke the 

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like we broke. 
I was breaking the bubble at the

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time, which is like a big deal, 
I know. 

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And then, but then you had to be
so certain that you wanted to do

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like you wanted. 
To go It was intentional. 

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It forced you to. 
It forced us to really know 

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immediately. 
Is this worth killing my 

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roommates over? 
And at the time and it was. 

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At the time it was. 
Sorry, roommate. 

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It was and I had to ask the 
permit. 

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I was like, can I go inside his 
car for a second date? 

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I had to get all this 
permission, which once again, 

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it's, it was forcing you to 
really be like, do I like this 

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person enough to even do this? 
And so by like 3 weeks and we 

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were like saying I love you and 
but here's the issue. 

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We were both bottoms. 
And you knew this early on? 

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I mean, first time we hooked up 
when he came inside. 

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Came inside. 
When he came, when he came 

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inside my, he bent over. 
Basically he assumed I was the 

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top. 
With the grand mates there. 

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He's like, Mom, great place. 
Yeah. 

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00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,720
He he basically was like assumed
I was the top. 

226
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,800
And so then I was like, you know
what? 

227
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,880
I'm going to try it. 
No, because I always said I was 

228
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,240
like, I would love to at least 
like, add that to my resume. 

229
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,520
Like I would love to be able to 
say I'm a good top. 

230
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,200
I just don't have the 
experience. 

231
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,560
And so I was like, yeah, why 
not? 

232
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,560
And unfortunately, he did just 
put Tiger Balm on his knee. 

233
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,880
Do you know what that is? 
That like Bengay cream And my 

234
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,640
Dick was rubbing against his 
knee and it got like numb. 

235
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,160
It got like tingly and numb. 
So of course that became a whole

236
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,480
thing and like, it was funny. 
I love that you were trying to 

237
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,400
be a good top and you were 
fucking his knee. 

238
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,240
Well, we're just like we're 
rolling around. 

239
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,680
I wasn't. 
I was like, this is the hole. 

240
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,160
I was like, this is the hole 
right? 

241
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,720
I know it's around here 
somewhere. 

242
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,880
And, and then eventually I 
fucked him and it was, it was 

243
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,240
good. 
I was like, oh, I enjoy this. 

244
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,000
Yeah. 
And of course, it's like the new

245
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,640
chemistry of like liking someone
and all of that. 

246
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,160
And like, and then afterwards I 
was like, it's funny, like I'm 

247
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,760
actually a bottom too, but like 
I've always wanted to top. 

248
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,440
And so like first six months of 
our relationship, I was 

249
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,080
basically the top until he all I
was like, you know what, I think

250
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,240
you'll like topping too. 
Like everyone should like both. 

251
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,960
Like it's, it feels good and 
things that feel good feel good.

252
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,040
And you should, you should at 
least allow yourself to like try

253
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,200
it to see if it feels good for 
you. 

254
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,360
And then when you start trying, 
it felt good to him too. 

255
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:36,280
So like it was a long, it was a 
long lasting relationship with 

256
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,760
two bottoms, which I guess maybe
that's common, maybe that's not 

257
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,320
common. 
I don't think I would do that 

258
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,000
again. 
It makes sense kind of, if 

259
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,400
you're like companions first. 
But we weren't right. 

260
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,360
We were not companions first. 
We were like strangers who then 

261
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,840
started fucking within a week of
knowing each. 

262
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:57,040
Other during the pandemic. 
That's interesting too, that you

263
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:03,160
wouldn't in that pandemic time 
be like, oh ha ha, silly, nice 

264
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,560
to meet you. 
No, but we were so in it then 

265
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,600
that like, and also I'm like a 
very anxious people pleaser. 

266
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,440
So like I think I just couldn't 
I, I, I immediately the minute 

267
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,240
we said I love you when we were 
boyfriends, his needs be his 

268
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,960
needs more important than mine. 
Wow, I immediately that. 

269
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,960
But I learned the lesson the 
hard way of like, you can't do 

270
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,880
that. 
That's not healthy. 

271
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,800
That is not how you build a long
lasting relationship because you

272
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,800
either you either consciously or
subconsciously start to like, I 

273
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,840
think wig out when you don't put
yourself first. 

274
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,760
Of course, I was starting to 
have panic attacks. 

275
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,840
Of course, all of the things of 
like, I mean, he he would say to

276
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,840
me like, I'm nervous that you're
going to start doing comedy 

277
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,360
every night and like, you're not
going to have like time for us. 

278
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,080
And so I would literally do us 
shows like I would do. 

279
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,960
Do you know what I mean? 
Like I would like, I would 

280
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,280
literally 'cause I, I was like, 
'cause that's what love is, is 

281
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,400
like. 
Sacrifice. 

282
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,880
Sacrifice and shrinking yourself
and all of those and all of 

283
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,360
those things. 
Also, there's a thing about I 

284
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,480
have felt more stable dating and
getting maybe potentially 

285
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:04,840
serious about someone because I 
gave my career the, the runway 

286
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:09,960
to like, like I did do more 
shows and I did like scratch 

287
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,440
that itch and I was like, you 
know, I, I put myself first, my 

288
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,760
career first, you know, but when
you're in your 20s or you're 

289
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,440
like even early 30s, you're 
like, Oh, I, I should be doing 

290
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,000
more shows. 
I know, but I was the I was 

291
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,960
like, well, I guess I need to be
doing less shows. 

292
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,960
But also this was a weird time 
where it was like COVID shows. 

293
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,720
Not that many shows there. 
Weren't that many shows so also 

294
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,720
the first six months of our 
relationship built such a. 

295
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,480
Oh my God. 
False sense of like. 

296
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,600
A precedent of like you just 
hang out. 

297
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,360
Yeah, he, like, had all of me, 
which I think, but like, he 

298
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,680
didn't know that. 
Like, I'm a very social person 

299
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,200
who had plans every night, 
whether it was a show or going 

300
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,800
to another French show or dinner
with random friends. 

301
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,000
Like it was like, I just, that's
how I lived my life and that's 

302
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,880
how I'd like to live my life. 
But he wanted just us. 

303
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,880
That's all he cared about was 
like US against the world. 

304
00:13:55,000 --> 00:14:01,600
And that became very, I think 
overtime, like overtime 

305
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,360
suffocating. 
I think, 'cause I was like, 

306
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,720
that's not how, that's not how I
want to live my life. 

307
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,040
And also when the world started 
opening up again, I went back to

308
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,560
the gym and I was like, oh, 
other guys. 

309
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,520
And not even like I wanted to 
act on it. 

310
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,560
I just was like, oh, that's 
right. 

311
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,680
I'm attracted to other guys as 
well and I think I started to 

312
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,880
feel so guilty about feeling 
attraction. 

313
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,760
Well, meanwhile your butt hole 
is starving. 

314
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,840
She was starving. 
It's starving, emaciated. 

315
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:39,560
In the desert, gasping. 
And so I would start to like 

316
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,320
develop gym crushes and I would 
feel so guilty inside because I 

317
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,240
was like, I'm a bad boyfriend 
because I'm attracted to other 

318
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:48,000
guys, shaming myself so hard. 
This was before I, I had my 

319
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,400
first gay therapist, which Jose 
changed my life in so many ways.

320
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,960
But I think I felt and, and I 
finally I was able to like when 

321
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,360
I started seeing Jose like I was
finally able to, he was like, 

322
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,200
Mike, you're a gay man. 
He's like, of course you're 

323
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,400
going to be attracted to other 
people. 

324
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,440
This make you a bad partner. 
You're not, you're not cheating 

325
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,720
on him. 
You're not acting like you're 

326
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,160
not acting on it. 
And I was like, OK, but I'm 

327
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,160
still feeling this. 
And I'm also craving the big 

328
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,080
Dick top. 
I'm craving that big Dick top 

329
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,320
that's like, you know. 
Going to lay it down. 

330
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,360
Exactly. 
So like that is I wasn't getting

331
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,840
that. 
So I think that became so 

332
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,360
intensely the fantasy. 
I'm just like, what I was like 

333
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,600
Fortnite was watching and all of
that. 

334
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,800
And like he would always, he 
would also always say to me, I 

335
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,440
know I'm not your type. 
I know I'm not what you usually 

336
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,080
go for. 
Like I know I'm like he was 

337
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,400
five, he was 59. 
Like every time you saw me 

338
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,880
talking to a taller guy, like it
was an issue, like all of those 

339
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,160
things. 
But it is funny how like when 

340
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,560
the minute you're in a 
relationship, why, what 

341
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,720
pheromone do you give off where 
like guys are suddenly 

342
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,640
interested in you or like. 
I think it's as simple as like, 

343
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:55,520
I think about the guys who don't
look at me at all in the gym. 

344
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,960
I'm most drawn to 'cause I'm 
like, look at me. 

345
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,520
I'm gonna and I'm like, what 
time do you go to look at me? 

346
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,400
Did you go to Crunch? 
Yeah. 

347
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,320
OK, not seeing. 
I went there briefly 'cause 

348
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,240
that's where I went. 
Yeah, we arranged your the in. 

349
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,800
New York, but I'm now back at 
EOS. 

350
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,360
Gotcha. 
Golds, it was Golds. 

351
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,720
Now it's EOS which is so 
terrible I hate that it's. 

352
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,640
Did all golds change? 
Basically, except for the Venice

353
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,600
one. 
Golds felt like such a legacy, 

354
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,760
like gym. 
No more. 

355
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,360
Now it's EOS and it feels 
weirdly straighter, which I 

356
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,880
don't like, but I don't want to 
drive. 

357
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:26,160
I know it crunches only like a 5
to 8 minute longer drive. 

358
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,600
I don't want to do that. 
That's fine, I know, but I 

359
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,120
preferred it actually was never 
busy. 

360
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,160
A lot of hot guys. 
Really, really gay. 

361
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,680
I don't actually met guys there.
Like yes. 

362
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,880
Yeah, like, not so many, but 
like. 

363
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,760
Yeah, enough. 
And then for like we're. 

364
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,480
Like gold's never. 
I've never really. 

365
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,760
Really, everyone's like in 
there. 

366
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,200
Yeah, or like they already have 
their little people or it's like

367
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,320
the porn stars talking to the 
porn stars or whatever the 

368
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,360
whatever combination you want to
give. 

369
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:57,120
But yeah, I think, I think I 
felt such an immense sense of 

370
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,160
guilt. 
And also with my first 

371
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,680
relationship, I was like, wait, 
open the, the open relationship 

372
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,800
of it all. 
I don't know where you stand 

373
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,920
with that. 
Philosophically, I am, I am pro.

374
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,119
My ex was not pro whatsoever. 
And I remember a year in, I was 

375
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,839
like, Hey, I mean, we woke up 1 
morning, he turned to me and was

376
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:19,760
like, are you, are you no longer
attracted to me or are you only 

377
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,280
into other people? 
I was like, well, good morning. 

378
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,440
I was like, no, I'm still into 
you. 

379
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,200
Like I, I, I love you. 
I'm, I'm into you. 

380
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,800
But since you brought it up 
like, hey, where you're in like 

381
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,680
check in. 
We've never talked about this 

382
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,120
like this gay concepts of like 
open relationships, non monog. 

383
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,040
And of course that sent him into
like a spiral of like you want 

384
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,480
to hook up with like you want to
hook up with guys at the gym and

385
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,800
like you're not into me. 
I'm not giving you enough. 

386
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:44,920
I was like, no, it's not about 
that. 

387
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:49,200
I'm just like philosophically, I
am someone who thinks I want 

388
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,240
this because I'm a realist. 
I'm a like, yes, you might be 

389
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,080
the flavor I want to come home 
to and like sleep next to and 

390
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,960
hold and all those things. 
But yeah, sometimes I might want

391
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,080
pistachio. 
I might want rocky road. 

392
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,720
I might you mean that you? 
And why deny yourself Rocky 

393
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,800
Road? 
You can never have enough rocky 

394
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,280
road, but I don't need it 
everyday totally. 

395
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,720
I, I, I, but I, I just knew that
I was like, that's going to be a

396
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,920
deal breaker If, if. 
If did they say that or you were

397
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,960
just assuming? 
I mean, basically he said that 

398
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,280
he was like, if you need that, I
will have to walk away. 

399
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,560
I said, OK, well I don't, we're 
going to table this. 

400
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:26,120
And then of course, a year later
brought up literally the same 

401
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,600
prompt. 
Are you no longer into me or 

402
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,600
only talk to other people? 
This is how he thinks 

403
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,000
anniversaries are celebrated. 
Hispanic Versary. 

404
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,720
Wow, I. 
Mean basically a year later we 

405
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,520
had the same conversation. 
That was the one where I was 

406
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,720
like, hey, so a year ago I 
brought it up to you and I said,

407
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,880
I think I'm now telling you I 
know I. 

408
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,360
AM. 
But but I don't need it now. 

409
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,280
I'm like, if we're going to move
in together, we're going to do 

410
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,560
all these things. 
This could be five years down 

411
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:53,640
the line. 
I just need to know that like 

412
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,560
you could. 
Oh, you're such. 

413
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,360
I mean, that's. 
I'm a good person. 

414
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,520
Well, maybe to a fault. 
Yeah, I know. 

415
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,400
No, I know. 
I was like. 

416
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,160
Yeah, that's crazy to be like, I
need something but I can 

417
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:08,960
postpone it for five years. 
I know that's how much I was 

418
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,640
putting him first. 
But we've learned. 

419
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,040
We've learned to no longer do 
that. 

420
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,760
But I remember that I was like, 
I know I need this now. 

421
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,880
I don't need it now, but I'm 
going to need it at some point. 

422
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,840
And I want a partner that like 
wants to once again, I don't. 

423
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,400
I don't. 
It's not like I know the rules. 

424
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,040
I don't. 
And that's why I want a partner 

425
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,480
who's like, not freaked out by 
it and wants to, like explore it

426
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,960
together. 
Like, we could try it and hate 

427
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:30,760
it. 
I could hate it. 

428
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,040
I don't know. 
But I want someone who gets the 

429
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,920
like, oh, yeah, of course you're
going to want to fuck other 

430
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,800
people because I'm horny too. 
I want to fuck other people. 

431
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:42,680
And we're both bottoms. 
Yes, and he could like. 

432
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,760
He couldn't though, So like that
that initiated the break up, the

433
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:52,960
the, the launch to break up and 
Anna and Anne came over and like

434
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,600
she, I remember her saying she 
was like I, she was like, I knew

435
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,360
it was time of death when I had 
to make like a nurse. 

436
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,640
Like she was like I, she was 
like, I didn't make a nurse like

437
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,400
house call. 
So basically the nurse had to 

438
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,120
come over and like. 
Yeah, it's not. 

439
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,640
She was like, I knew it was, she
was like I knew it was coming. 

440
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,480
And she literally was like 
Mission Control from when I like

441
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,280
drove to like meet up with him 
where we were just going to have

442
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,520
the conversation. 
But he was like, he called me 

443
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,440
like a sex addict, like like he 
was like, you might be a sex 

444
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:19,800
addict. 
You might need to look into like

445
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,480
into this if you need this. 
And I was like and I and I was 

446
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,440
like, am IA sex addict. 
Maybe I'm a sex. 

447
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,400
Addict. 
So I was like, maybe I am, but I

448
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,600
was like, I don't think so. 
I just think. 

449
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,000
I think I'm just like, all these
gay, all these gay guys do this.

450
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:36,920
Yeah, I mean any I I think a 
healthy human being wants to 

451
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,040
have a healthy appetite for sex.
I completely, I think that's 

452
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,080
also how you make a long lasting
relationship work. 

453
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,120
Sorry for sure cheating behind 
closed doors. 

454
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,720
Oh my God, that's the thing. 
That's the thing. 

455
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,160
It's hot, sure. 
What I. 

456
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,840
Sure, it's hot. 
I'm not gonna cosign that one. 

457
00:20:55,200 --> 00:21:01,360
In theory, yes, but people 
cheat. 

458
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:03,480
Period. 
Full stop. 

459
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:08,120
But also people will be in open 
relationships, have boundaries, 

460
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,040
and still cross those boundaries
of. 

461
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,480
Course, I've had friends who've 
done that and I and I think that

462
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,680
could happen. 
But I mean, he would wake up 

463
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,000
from dreams sobbing, being like,
and I'm like, what's what's 

464
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,040
going on? 
He's like, you cheated on me in 

465
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,880
my dream and he'd be mad at me 
for the rest of the day. 

466
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,440
That I've heard this trope. 
Dream Mike would cheat on him 

467
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,200
and I'm like, I I've never given
you a reason to believe I've 

468
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,360
done anything to cross the line 
because I haven't and I never 

469
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,560
did. 
But like, and I'm also friendly 

470
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,200
whenever I talk to anyone, even 
if I'm attracted to them, I will

471
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,360
be friendly and smiley and like,
you know, I'll be grabbing their

472
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,200
bulge, but it's just have it's 
just platonic. 

473
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,800
It's. 
Platonic. 

474
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,680
We're kissing, but it's friends.
It's French, it's French. 

475
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,040
We're anally friends. 
It's. 

476
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,920
French also, it's what the 
French do with their friends. 

477
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,080
Yeah. 
But like, I think by the end I 

478
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,760
was like, yeah, I'm going to 
need more if we're going to be 

479
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,840
in this together. 
I just think I need variety 

480
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,480
because of bottom to bottom I'm 
going to need more and like. 

481
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,240
Bottom to bottom, that could be 
the episode. 

482
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:09,680
Bottom to bottom, B to BI Drove 
there thinking maybe we could 

483
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,960
still save this. 
I think deep down I knew not 

484
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,400
possible, but I 'cause I was 
like, I'm going to go in and 

485
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,800
tell him I need this no matter 
what and we'll see what he says 

486
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:18,600
to that. 
And I did. 

487
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,360
And he basically was like, well,
you have to promise. 

488
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,000
Of course, did this outside of 
the Starbucks Reserve because it

489
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,120
was at night and it was closed. 
So we did this in the parking 

490
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,120
lot of the Starbucks Reserve in 
Los Feliz. 

491
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,920
Yeah, I know it. 
And he was like, you have to 

492
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,360
promise. 
You have to promise me that we 

493
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:38,800
can go to couples therapy and 
like we can work on this, But if

494
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,000
I never get there, if I never 
get there, you have to promise 

495
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,080
me that you're OK with that. 
EW, when I was like I just said 

496
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,120
no. 
When I and that that was truly, 

497
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,880
I remember third eye opened. 
I feel like I was levitating off

498
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:55,680
the ground at this point 'cause 
I was like, no, I can't, I can't

499
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,240
accept that for myself. 
No, literally it was like the 

500
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,320
first time in my life I'd ever 
set a boundary. 

501
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,640
Oh my God, set a boundary and 
chose myself. 

502
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,960
Outside of a Starbucks Reserve 
of all places. 

503
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,080
And I literally was like, why 
would why would I agree to that 

504
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,640
when I know I would be lying to 
you and you'd be lying to 

505
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,040
yourself? 
And then we're just what 

506
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,400
hurtling towards the end and 
prolonging our. 

507
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,600
Suffering. 
Yeah, both lying to ourselves. 

508
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,480
No, I'm going to end this now 
for both of us. 

509
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,480
Because you deserve what you 
deserve. 

510
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,280
And you deserve what you 
deserve. 

511
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,200
What you want. 
I deserve what I want. 

512
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,920
This isn't working. 
And I love you, but love is not 

513
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,040
enough. 
I kept on saying love is not 

514
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,880
enough. 
It's not, which sucks, but like 

515
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,520
yeah, we broke up and like since
then I've wanted to enter a 

516
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,240
relationship. 
But oh, still of. 

517
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,360
Course, but now with a certain I
think that's why I haven't is 

518
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,400
because the the the threshold 
now is so high. 

519
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,000
It's so high. 
I'm glad. 

520
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,600
Yeah, I'm not going to enter 
something unless it feels like 

521
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,840
the person feels like my hung 
top. 

522
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,040
He feels like my hung top. 
Maybe you should get back on 

523
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:53,880
Craigslist. 
I I don't. 

524
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,720
Know if you can. 
I have been curious to see who's

525
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,360
who's. 
I think they got rid of the 

526
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:03,000
personals, yeah. 
I'm like literally taking my hat

527
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:03,480
off. 
That's like. 

528
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,240
I know. 
A moment of silence. 

529
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,200
Yeah, I know of silence for. 
I think I have five years ago. 

530
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:13,320
Isn't that crazy? 
But you are on the apps sort of 

531
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,440
OK. 
I, I I'm I'm, I'm off and on. 

532
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,760
Talk to us about that. 
Is there an ebb and flow or is 

533
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,720
there? 
Yeah, I mean, I'm like a 

534
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,320
validation addict. 
I think a lot of performers are.

535
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,920
Everyone in everyone in Los 
Angeles is, I know, really 

536
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,560
original. 
Thing I mean really. 

537
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,800
Original thing to be, but like I
would get chronically addicted 

538
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:37,040
to hinge, especially in grinder 
sometimes. 

539
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,280
But like hinge, like grinder 
would be waves, but hinge would 

540
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,480
be like. 
If I have Hinge on my phone, I'm

541
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,520
gonna be checking it 'cause I'm 
gonna want the love of my, the 

542
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,520
validation of finding, of 
matching with the love of my 

543
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,000
life, checking the like the 
lights. 

544
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,680
Like, Oh my God. 
Yeah. 

545
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,160
But of course, especially LA, 
there's not much turnover at 

546
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,360
this point. 
I basically know everyone. 

547
00:24:56,360 --> 00:25:00,560
There's maybe one to two, maybe 
one new top a year that moves to

548
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,160
Los Angeles. 
It might be like a new batch of 

549
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,560
gay guys have 1010 new gay guys 
every year. 

550
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,400
Yeah. 
But like like three of them are 

551
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,320
like young actor types, which 
I'm not even four of them are 

552
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,400
unstable bottoms. 
Stay away. 

553
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,720
Two you're not attracted to and 
then the one is like, oh, maybe 

554
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,160
him. 
But also, what's your problem? 

555
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,000
Why aren't you taken? 
It's all the it's all the 

556
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,840
things. 
But like I've I've I've deleted 

557
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,320
myself from hinge fully 'cause I
was down there in New York and I

558
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,440
I expected to be the love of my 
life in New York. 

559
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,000
That didn't happen. 
Fine, had great sex. 

560
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,880
I think New York is no from, I 
mean from both actually, but. 

561
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,320
New York guys are hotter than LA
guys. 

562
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,480
They just are. 
Even the air, even just the air 

563
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,920
of them. 
It's like I know. 

564
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,640
Well, most of them aren't In our
industry, that's the hottest. 

565
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,480
Thing and they're actually like 
smart and well. 

566
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:51,320
Rounded And they have to be to 
survive in New York and to 

567
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,600
present. 
Like when you see a hot guy on a

568
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,240
subway, I'm like, what do you 
do? 

569
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,440
No, there's nothing hotter in 
the world. 

570
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,520
And then he, you know, some 
sometimes he works for like the 

571
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,720
fucking UN and has and it's not 
like he. 

572
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:08,360
Or he is like a CrossFit guy and
he's reading and he's let me get

573
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:13,520
in there. 
TikTok, which is so fucking hot.

574
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,040
I know I hooked up with some 
TikTok corporates I know in in 

575
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,960
New York but didn't fall in 
love. 

576
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,720
I expected to fall in love in 
New York and it's OK. 

577
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:23,760
That's on me. 
I didn't. 

578
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,040
It is on you. 
It's your fault. 

579
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,720
I know it is. 
I know it's my fault and I'm 

580
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,000
punishing myself every day for 
it. 

581
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,320
I've been celibate since I moved
back. 

582
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,760
No, that's not true. 
But I moved back staying on 

583
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,800
Hinge, and I was like, well, 
maybe there's some turnover. 

584
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,200
Of course it's all the same. 
Wait what happened though when I

585
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,600
haven't been on hinge in years? 
What's it look like? 

586
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,400
Does it go you've gone through 
all the hinges or like does it 

587
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,920
stop showing you people or does 
it just recycle? 

588
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,920
My, my mental health can't 
handle that. 

589
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,800
To get to, to, to say, to get to
the point where it's you've. 

590
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,080
I'm eating Bumble does that they
go you've turned out of no in 

591
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,520
the. 
Past I've gotten there on Hinge 

592
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,400
and it's a terrible feeling. 
We're like, honey, there's no 

593
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,200
one left. 
Like we have no one left to 

594
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:02,880
show. 
You but. 

595
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,560
Hinge, they've also they've, I 
think my biggest problem with 

596
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,120
Hinge, it's gotten so evil in 
terms of making money that like 

597
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,560
it's every, every good guy is 
behind a paywall. 

598
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,720
You need to pay for it. 
Yes, you're behind the paywall. 

599
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,080
If you're not paying for like 
the most premium version, 

600
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,680
they're not showing you to the 
hottest guys. 

601
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,880
I paid 21 for grinder whatever. 
I did the same cause grinder's 

602
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,120
not usable without. 
No, it's literally not usable. 

603
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,320
It's not usable. 
It is a video game that serves 

604
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,080
you. 
It's a video game with guys on 

605
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,680
the side. 
I went off for a minute 'cause I

606
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,400
was like, I'm going to get off 
apps for forever. 

607
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:33,200
I. 
Was like, I'm going to make it 

608
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,320
harder to. 
Use and then I got, I tried to, 

609
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,720
I was like, well first of all I 
broke and I got on grinder and 

610
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:42,200
then an ad every three things 
that you do. 

611
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,560
Also the most confusing ad 
you've ever seen. 

612
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,720
I'm like sick sick and twisted 
app game ads. 

613
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,240
I'm like where are they getting 
the money for this? 

614
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:55,280
And am I the Are these the men 
I'm looking at who are being 

615
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,880
advertised this thing? 
Most of the time, and that's why

616
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,000
it takes so long for them to 
respond. 

617
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,920
They got to beat a few levels. 
Crazy. 

618
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,120
Do you sniffies I've never used?
Yeah, I'm on Sniffies. 

619
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,000
Sniffies has become Sniffies to 
me is a little bit more 

620
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,000
voyeurism for me not. 
Are you voyeuristic? 

621
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,480
Only in that, like, I do think 
about sex a lot. 

622
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,920
I think sex is really 
interesting. 

623
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,160
I I'm endlessly fascinated by 
it. 

624
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,520
And Sniffies has is so like, cut
to the chase. 

625
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,960
What are you most fascinated by 
this maybe these days? 

626
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,280
I guess it's like that. 
I can see I, I like there's a 

627
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,040
bunch of Dicks hovering around 
my apartment and I go, whose 

628
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,080
Dicks are these? 
'Cause that's the thing, you can

629
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,880
make your profile a Dick, right?
Yeah, I maybe I. 

630
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,600
Should look into it maybe. 
Actually, maybe as best I don't 

631
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,400
'cause I'll. 
Yeah, I've considered it 

632
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,560
backsliding. 
What as far as like, oh, I 

633
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,840
should get off the apps and it's
like, well, this is like the 

634
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,040
most. 
It's a website. 

635
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,520
Heroin version but it's save an 
app too. 

636
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,960
Oh shit. 
Also, OK, so I will tell you and

637
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,000
I don't know where you stand on 
oral sex. 

638
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,040
Love it. 
There's a site called a website 

639
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,920
called The Blowers and you're 
either a blower, blowy or both 

640
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,760
and you can leave. 
It should be bloth. 

641
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,320
You can leave reviews. 
And but it's just, it's just for

642
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,320
blow jobs. 
Yeah. 

643
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,800
And but you're more side these 
days, so you probably like this.

644
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,400
I love it. 
I am gay in the way where I 

645
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:20,680
needed a. 
Dick in my butt. 

646
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,320
Yeah, I do. 
I got that sense. 

647
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,400
I am like and thank you so much.
I that is unfortunately how I 

648
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,160
want to. 
I want them to come inside me 

649
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,280
totally and I want to come at 
the same time ideally. 

650
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,600
Nice. 
Charlotte. 

651
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,360
That is that's so funny when I'm
when I'm getting effed in the B,

652
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,200
they need to come first piece of
I come first. 

653
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,880
It quickly feels, yeah, I'm like
I'm. 

654
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:50,840
Indiana Jones Indiana Jones Get.
Your hat and get out. 

655
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,320
Yeah, all of a sudden I'm like, 
this is weird feeling. 

656
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,480
I understand this. 
I think if I'm really into it, I

657
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:02,840
can keep going if I come first. 
But if I'm like wanting it to be

658
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,240
over, it's like, well, it's 
really funny how the whole 

659
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,560
really is it it? 
Yeah, it's its own. 

660
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,360
It's its own entity. 
It's mind a whole connection and

661
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:15,000
it's just 'cause there's there's
been like lately, maybe I'm just

662
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,680
looser, maybe I'm just older. 
But like there have been big, 

663
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:21,760
big Dicks that like I'm so into 
and I'm so like attracted to the

664
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,600
person that it just, I take it 
so easily. 

665
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,560
Yeah, but there are Dicks that 
are smaller that I'm. 

666
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,520
Like is psychological harder 
where if you want the Dick, your

667
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,240
booty will eat the Dick. 
Chomp chomp. 

668
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,240
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, 
chomp. 

669
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,120
Miss Pac-Man like. 
Like you after the drought. 

670
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,080
Me me. 
Just eating anything. 

671
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,400
I yeah, so I came back to New 
York and I delete. 

672
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,760
I came back from New York and I 
quickly was like, well, I 

673
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,360
exhausted my interests on Hinge 
and so I deleted myself because 

674
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,520
if I just delete the app, I will
go I will to be downloaded it 

675
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,480
three times a day sometimes. 
So I fully deleted myself. 

676
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,200
I'm only on say it with me RYA 
this month. 

677
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,720
RYA. 
I've been on RYA twice in my 

678
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,440
life. 
Suck the balls both. 

679
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,920
Of them, I think that's why I 
like it, because you're one, 

680
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,680
you're paying and so it's 
terrible and two, it's terrible 

681
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,320
to use, so you're on it less and
three, you're matching with. 

682
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:14,720
Guys, do you hear yourself? 
Yeah. 

683
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,840
I hear it, but it's like it 
scratches an itch. 

684
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,040
It's not right. 
I'm an addict. 

685
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,320
An addict using and. 
Do you really identify as an 

686
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:23,600
addict of. 
Something no, I guess that's 

687
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,200
what Anne and I say of just like
we are validation addicts in 

688
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,480
that way of like that's The 
thing is if you were like Mike, 

689
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,200
you can't be on any apps. 
I would be fine. 

690
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,960
I would like, I would, I could 
go about my day and I might be a

691
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,040
little sad of not getting that 
quick hit. 

692
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:37,560
You get over it. 
It'd be fine. 

693
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:38,440
Exactly. 
I'd be fine. 

694
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,720
So that's why I'm like, I don't 
think I really identify as an 

695
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,320
addict, but I think the 
validation, I think that is 

696
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,000
just. 
My own it's a strong pull. 

697
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,360
It's a very strong pull and then
Grinder I go. 

698
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,560
I put myself in Grinder jail, 
which I don't know if anyone 

699
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,960
else does this, but I've coined 
that term of Grinder jail, which

700
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,640
is when I give my password to 
one of my best friends and they 

701
00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:00,080
change it and so I'm locked out.
I haven't deleted my profile 

702
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,240
'cause that's the other thing is
Grinder has a website too. 

703
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,880
If you pay for premium you can 
use the website. 

704
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,800
But I didn't realize I'll delete
the app and I'll just I'll like 

705
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,560
all the time. 
I should do work on my laptop. 

706
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,360
I'm doing a work on my laptop 
and then all of a sudden I've 

707
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,400
like blinked and I'm on 
web.grinder.com. 

708
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,560
And so if I put myself in jail, 
the account's still there. 

709
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,080
I can all I and I'll. 
And then it's that added step of

710
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,280
like. 
Hey can I have my? 

711
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,200
Grinder, can you just log in for
me? 

712
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,720
Wow. 
And so it makes it adds that a 

713
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,840
little that helpful like extra, 
it feels like A2 factor. 

714
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,440
Factor authentication. 
Yeah, like on Friday I literally

715
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,080
like I had my roommate, we were 
home, I was like in early for 

716
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,200
the night and I was like, you 
know what, I just want I I'll 

717
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,000
delete it. 
I'll delete it before I go to 

718
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,640
bed. 
But I just want to check grinder

719
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,160
for a few hours and maybe see if
someone wants to come over and 

720
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,880
cuddle because I was like more 
like I just it would be nice to 

721
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,280
cuddle with someone right now. 
You're one of those. 

722
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:53,720
Well, no, I want sex. 
I was thinking it's like I'm a 

723
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:54,280
romantic. 
Who? 

724
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,640
Wants to be. 
Bred at all times. 

725
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,920
It's not funny. 
I'm a romantic who wants to be 

726
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,120
bred at all times. 
It's so funny. 

727
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:07,200
But some guys who are just like,
to me, oddly enough, a guy 

728
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,440
cuddling me is so much more 
intimate than just exchanging 

729
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,160
fluids real quick. 
Absolutely. 

730
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,320
But I guess I like that extra 
step of intimacy. 

731
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,960
I'm in a place I think where I 
am not looking for the like 

732
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,040
anonymous hookup where like I'm 
looking. 

733
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:25,080
For a thing like I'm connected. 
I wanna like meet, we can 

734
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,720
literally talk for 10 seconds, 
but I at least want to like, OK,

735
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,240
I, I like our vibe. 
I can sense the vibe enough 

736
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,120
where we're hooking up and then 
like we're talking a bit as 

737
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,280
we're hooking up or we're taking
breaks and we're talking and 

738
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,520
it's actually like. 
Maybe you jump to the cell phone

739
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,360
instead of Grinder. 
Maybe he could sleep over and 

740
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,440
like all like, you know what I 
mean? 

741
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,400
Like I'm fucked because also 
there's nothing I have more than

742
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:44,800
morning sex. 
Like waking up and getting 

743
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,480
fucked is my favorite thing in 
the world. 

744
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,720
Oh my God. 
Yes, I don't trust myself 

745
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,280
because I usually poop like 2 
hours after I wake up. 

746
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,080
If I haven't had coffee, fine, 
the trap door stays closed cuz 

747
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,200
I'm douche. 
I'm also, I don't know how you 

748
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,840
are with douching, but I'm very 
I'm very adamant about like for 

749
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,360
my own like it's just a mental 
thing of like I just want I take

750
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,360
fiber pills. 
Yeah, who knows what the fuck 

751
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,320
that does, actually. 
I'm sure if you stop shaking 

752
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,360
them you'd realize. 
A difference would be slush 

753
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,480
beer. 
Yeah, I'd be slush, but I. 

754
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:17,480
He'd be Turkey gravy. 
Oh Yum fountain drink. 

755
00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:23,320
No. 
I, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm pretty 

756
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,480
diligent with my douching. 
So like if I'm douching for 

757
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,280
someone to come over and they're
spending the night, I know I'm 

758
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,760
good until coffee. 
Even just by like, eating at 

759
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,520
like dinner time. 
Yeah, wow. 

760
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,719
But you know, look, but also you
never know. 

761
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,639
You never know. 
I have white and I bravely have 

762
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:40,679
white sheets now, so. 
Like Oh no I don't. 

763
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,760
I have white sheets. 
Once keeps me honest. 

764
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,679
Dude it. 
Keeps me honest. 

765
00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:47,840
I I don't have the energy. 
No staying yet. 

766
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,360
Even I'm just like a natural 
like oily like or like something

767
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,520
like I understand it's 
discolored they're. 

768
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,600
New enough where that's not an 
issue. 

769
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,240
I've held you hostage for a long
time. 

770
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,160
Let's just play a quick round of
Hot or Not and then we'll wrap 

771
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,600
things up. 
This is where I just list topics

772
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,560
and you tell me if you find them
hot or not. 

773
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:12,680
Great group sex. 
How many? 

774
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:14,440
I'm already asking questions. 
Great. 

775
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:15,560
No, that's a very great 
question. 

776
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,240
Or let's start with threesome. 
Hot. 

777
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,720
And then what is your ideal 
threesome look like? 

778
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,720
22 hung tops. 
And are they in a relationship 

779
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,440
or is it 3? 
So my my I my couple last year I

780
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,040
had a married couple that I 
would I I should see them soon. 

781
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,360
Honestly I miss them but they're
both like they're both like hung

782
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,560
toppy energy married to each 
other. 

783
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,040
Would like get off watching each
other fuck me and like. 

784
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,760
Are there creators? 
Not creators, not creators, but 

785
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:47,440
very chic, fashionable New York 
LA bicoastal gay guys. 

786
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,720
One was Russian, the other one's
from the Valley I think. 

787
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:58,760
The Russia of California. 
They were they they I felt I can

788
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:00,440
I also like talking to both of 
them too. 

789
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,840
Like I actually enjoyed being 
friends with them and like we'd 

790
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,960
also fuck and it was like and it
was really hot. 

791
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,840
They tried to double penetrate 
me that not you didn't even give

792
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,080
me. 
Double pen, not hot. 

793
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,480
To me, to me it's. 
Not hot, just logistically. 

794
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,440
I'm really like, are we Cirque 
du Soleil here? 

795
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,720
I, I don't want to be that 
loose. 

796
00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,840
I don't need to be fisted 
because I'm just like, I like 

797
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,400
something I'm proud of. 
Is that it? 

798
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,360
It's elastic, but it it, it is 
it's like tight, but it loose. 

799
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,280
Yeah, yeah. 
But it snaps back and I don't 

800
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:26,680
want to get ever get to a point 
where. 

801
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,160
No snap. 
No, there's an echo. 

802
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,320
I don't. 
OK, continue. 

803
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,800
You also said fisting not hot, 
so you clear those off the 

804
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,840
thing. 
OK, but you said group, so let's

805
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,240
say five guys. 
I've never done it. 

806
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,480
I've been, I'm going to say not.
I think that starts to stress me

807
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,480
out. 
Can I start 'cause once again 2 

808
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,880
tops and me? 
I know the dynamic is they are 

809
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,880
both into me. 
Oh, but with like I just start. 

810
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,680
To like. 
I get very stressed with the 

811
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,000
like. 
Is everyone happy? 

812
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,120
Yeah, and am I happy? 
And am I like, 'cause like there

813
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,000
was the, I've done threesomes 
where like 1's the top one's 

814
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,920
verse and then I'm like more 
into the top than the other guy.

815
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,320
And like then I'm like I start 
to be like, oh, but I gotta make

816
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:08,400
sure they're feeling taken care 
of. 

817
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,880
And so it's it takes me back to 
the people. 

818
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,560
Please people. 
Pleaser to me even like I get a 

819
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,200
little disoriented with 60 
nining. 

820
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:19,040
I'm like I can't feel good and 
and do a good job right now. 

821
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:23,720
I think it's fun truly for the 
one second where you're like, 

822
00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,600
let's do it. 
And then it's you're like, OK, 

823
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,880
this is hard. 
Yeah, this is logistically not. 

824
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,480
Comfortable. 
Better for me if I'm sitting on 

825
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,040
a guy's face and sucking his 
Dick. 

826
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,040
Love that, Love that. 
What do we call? 

827
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,360
Do we? 
Is that not? 

828
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:39,880
I think that's 60 nining too if 
especially if it's like bussy. 

829
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,480
It almost feels like Infinity to
me. 

830
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,800
I know that's not right, but it 
feels like there's. 

831
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,240
Infinity I'm. 
Going to call that an Infinity, 

832
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:47,720
OK. 
New term. 

833
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,840
Because it really also it feels 
a little bit more. 

834
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,400
Cyclical it does snaky in a toe 
tail the. 

835
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:57,240
Whole the whole today moment, I 
know it just feels right to me. 

836
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:04,840
What a car sex. 
Not only because I'm tall, but 

837
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,680
just I I in theory I liked it. 
I think that's also a lot of my 

838
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,160
like, origin story, began this 
car sex. 

839
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:13,040
Of course. 
I think for all of us but also 

840
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,320
trauma as well from the straight
car hookup I would I would have 

841
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,760
with my ex-girlfriend. 
Yeah, so I'm going to say not. 

842
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:26,160
Significant age gap. 
Hot, but only above me. 

843
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,720
I don't want to. 
I'm not into. 1920. 

844
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,080
You have to be a very specific 
type of like 21. 

845
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:37,000
I won't go below 21. 
And you have to be a like D1 

846
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,800
athlete like a with a Anaconda. 
Wait, what about that? 

847
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:44,040
Wait, what is that? 
What is that frat porn? 

848
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:47,400
Oh. 
For fraternity, no. 

849
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,880
Fraternity X No. 
What is it? 

850
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:51,400
No, what is? 
You know what I'm talking about 

851
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,680
though? 
It's very like, very amateur. 

852
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,520
Big bro, little bro. 
Yeah, but it's. 

853
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,760
Like they never have sex, they 
would just like blow each other.

854
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:03,280
Oh no, this one, I they have sex
and when it when I I'll send 

855
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,880
stuff to your office. 
Please thank you send to my 

856
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:09,840
assistant. 
OK, OK, OK, rough sex or sex 

857
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,560
that might leave a mark. 
Hot. 

858
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:12,520
Really. 
I like. 

859
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,400
I'm a little, I'm a little 
subby. 

860
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,040
Yeah, OK. 
So. 

861
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,800
I don't need like, I don't need 
to be called like bitch boy, but

862
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,960
like. 
So maybe no degradation, just. 

863
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,400
You don't need that. 
I do like words of affirmation. 

864
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,840
You're a good cum slut. 
Yeah, like while you feel like 

865
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,720
I'm fine with your pussy. 
Feels good. 

866
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,360
Yeah, you can call it a pussy. 
You don't mind that? 

867
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,480
Okay, okay, don't. 
Call it a bitch pussy, I'm gonna

868
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:35,200
get. 
Emotional. 

869
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:39,320
You like you like that. 
I'm you're open to that. 

870
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,120
But here's the thing. 
I'm probably gonna laugh at it. 

871
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:42,240
That's things I don't know if 
you get. 

872
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,000
I don't know if you bring your 
sense of humor into the bedroom,

873
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,080
but like. 
I for everyone's sake, I try not

874
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,360
to. 
See, but that's something that 

875
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,800
turns me on so much is when you 
can like it is like we are, 

876
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,440
that's intimate. 
It is. 

877
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,920
It's so intimate and it's also 
so ridiculous. 

878
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,760
We are strangers who are inside 
like we are. 

879
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,960
No, yeah. 
We are truly doing the most 

880
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,200
intimate thing in the world and 
it's so fucking silly that I 

881
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,480
don't know your. 
I did bring my now looking back,

882
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,480
I went on three great dates with
this boy and they were great. 

883
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,880
And then he ended things because
he said like, Oh, I he's not 

884
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:18,160
ready or like I'm so great and 
so intentional and so sweet and 

885
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:21,400
so all these things. 
But we that like laughed a lot, 

886
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,000
and that didn't stop despite 
being naked. 

887
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,760
Yes. 
And I think that's the, I think 

888
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,480
it's the sexiest. 
Thing I was into it. 

889
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:28,920
Hey, I was. 
Sexiest thing in the world. 

890
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,200
I was into it. 
And I like it. 

891
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:31,520
So I like a daddy. 
I do like a daddy. 

892
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,080
That was my type for the longest
time. 

893
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,320
But like someone who's like 15 
years older than me is really, 

894
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,400
really fucking hot. 50, like 10 
to 20 years older. 

895
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:44,360
Sure, nipple play. 
Are you wired? 

896
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,600
I'm not. 
So I, I guess I'll say hot it, 

897
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,440
well, maybe not, but hot in the 
sense that like when you are, I 

898
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,320
understand how beautiful that 
can be, but I, I am not wired 

899
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,120
whatsoever. 
So it's just a it is truly just 

900
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,040
for show, really. 
These are display only. 

901
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,920
I like my nipples. 
I got good nipples, but they 

902
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:02,000
don't. 
They literally, it's just like 

903
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,640
you're touching it. 
I, I, I dated a guy who had two 

904
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,760
sensitive nipples. 
Yeah, where like if you touch 

905
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,840
it, it felt like sandpaper. 
Oh, no, it felt like sandpaper. 

906
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,600
It was like so sensitive. 
I was like, so I had to 

907
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,640
literally be like careful around
his nipples. 

908
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,560
You're gonna get your pasties, 
your sex pasties. 

909
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,000
I should have. 
I should have gotten him 

910
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,440
pasties. 
Are you wired? 

911
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,560
No. 
Well, are it like sometimes I 

912
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:26,440
think it comes and goes like in 
a moment, maybe it's like when 

913
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:31,160
I'm super turned on and then 
like a well timed nip pinch. 

914
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,200
What's the most sensitive part 
of your body? 

915
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,280
Is there a part of your body 
that someone touches that like? 

916
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:41,080
This small on my back. 
Sorry, the gay the gay 

917
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,360
Charlotte. 
You literally just like you 

918
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,760
change something changed. 
That's just the most romantic, 

919
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:50,960
the small of your back. 
For me it is my like my actual 

920
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,120
like not even my hole, my cheeks
like if you are, if you are, if 

921
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:59,160
you grab my ass and like squeeze
and jiggle it, that's like putt 

922
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,400
and putty to you. 
Literally, that's the part of 

923
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,640
you that always wants to get 
bread. 

924
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,480
You're like, Oh my God, I'm 
going to get some jizzum. 

925
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,360
Some jizzum. 
This is the prelude to Jizz. 

926
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,280
I, I think I know I'm going to 
get exactly what I want. 

927
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,520
And then it's like when you meet
the the worst is when you meet 

928
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,400
someone out and you're like 
dancing and you're making out, 

929
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,400
but like no one's hand. 
I'm, I'm not grabbing his butt, 

930
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,040
He's not grabbing my butt. 
And I'm like, so we're kind of 

931
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,280
just. 
Like, come on, I'm like. 

932
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,920
Well, one of us is. 
God, he took me back to like 

933
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,400
when I used to go out dancing 
and stuff when I was in my 20s. 

934
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,480
Do not go out anymore. 
I mean, I'll go, but I'm 

935
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,840
definitely not like on many 
dance floors and I don't drink, 

936
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,400
so it's like I'm usually there 
for like a friend's thing. 

937
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,480
And I'm like at the beginning of
the event, not the end of the 

938
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,960
event. 
Same because I don't drink 

939
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,040
either. 
Oh, I didn't know that. 

940
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,280
No, I don't drink, but I'll do I
Do I microdose mushrooms. 

941
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,800
OK, OK, OK. 
Or I'll do some K if I'm like, 

942
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,880
if it's like that type of party 
when I know I'm not going to 

943
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,400
like I'm dancing, I'm not 
talking to people. 

944
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,040
Sure. 
And then if you heard of the 

945
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,240
drug, three MMC, yes, yes, meow,
meow. 

946
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,600
Yeah, that's finally made its 
way to LA I'm like. 

947
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:06,920
I'm so happy. 
For it, and I did it on Saturday

948
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:08,240
and it was great. 
Really. 

949
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,120
Yeah. 
Was there a bad come down or 

950
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:11,680
anything? 
No, that's what's beautiful 

951
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,120
about it. 
There's no, it's like it's short

952
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:14,280
term Molly. 
It lasts like 90. 

953
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,880
Minutes. 
It lasts 90 minutes. 

954
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,360
Don't tease me, sorry. 
That sounds so nice it. 

955
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:23,240
Lasts like 90 minutes. 
It's like a very calm up. 

956
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:25,560
It's not like AI feel like Molly
often times can feel. 

957
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:27,200
Like a meth. 
It can feel like a methy. 

958
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,600
Cuz there's meth in it. 
Because there's meth. 

959
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,080
This not methy very chill and 
then no calm down. 

960
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,760
You might be up a little bit 
like it might, but I just take a

961
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,120
week on me to go to bed anyway 
so like. 

962
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,440
OK, so on that note, drug 
infused sex. 

963
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:50,240
Not well I guess. 
Hot I usually because I feel 

964
00:43:50,240 --> 00:43:54,320
like I'm usually hooking up with
guys at night when I'd taken my 

965
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:55,680
weed edible. 
Oh, OK. 

966
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,920
And I do always find myself to 
be like looser or horny or more 

967
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,200
into it, like less in my head. 
I think there's like the veil 

968
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,760
lifting is sometimes nice of 
just not being in your head. 

969
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,720
But I don't need it. 
It's not a definitive hot, but 

970
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:11,880
like because I'm also well, are 
you thinking poppers in this? 

971
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,800
Sure. 
And hot. 

972
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,160
I do love poppers. 
I wasn't thinking of poppers 

973
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:17,520
but. 
Poppers, poppers. 

974
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,760
To me, it's like a it's like a 
utility in my utility. 

975
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,480
It's like a tool in my utility 
belt. 

976
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,960
It's not I need poppers to come.
It's. 

977
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:26,920
Like. 
No, it's like literally this 

978
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,200
will help me loosen a garnish. 
This will help me literally 

979
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,680
loosen up and also loosen up. 
Like it's like. 

980
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,920
Oh, twofold. 
I just I, they're part of my 

981
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,400
sobriety that I don't use them. 
But towards the end of my 

982
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,800
drinking and using, I love to 
like, turn off and like hip 

983
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,040
hoppers. 
And see, I don't really do it on

984
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,400
my own. 
I only do it when someone's 

985
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:46,560
inside me. 
Good for you and I I don't need.

986
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,360
I don't even own a weird bottom.
I don't even own a dildo I I 

987
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,400
only wanted like a flash stick 
in my butt. 

988
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,040
Actually, I have. 
So when I had my Netflix radio 

989
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:01,440
show, which was this, they gave 
me a bouquet of dildos like when

990
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,920
they ended the show. 
So you're welcome to 1 if you 

991
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:04,280
want. 
I was. 

992
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:05,760
Gonna say do you give every 
guest a dildo? 

993
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:12,640
I don't, but if it's in the if 
it might add to your life, it's 

994
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,000
crazy or you do not. 
I was gonna say like, OK, so sex

995
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,720
toys. 
They don't. 

996
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,400
I guess not because I don't 
really use them. 

997
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:21,000
Yeah, I don't. 
I also am not really craving a 

998
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,640
guy like taking out a toy. 
Sure. 

999
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,280
So not. 
But because I'm once again, I 

1000
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,880
want, I just want that thing. 
I want that thing. 

1001
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,360
The me, the me. 
I, I how I've been putting it. 

1002
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,360
It's like, I think it's the most
to me, it feels like the most 

1003
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,200
vulnerable thing in the world is
like inviting someone in, of 

1004
00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:39,440
course. 
So I think that's what I I crave

1005
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,440
that the invitation and that 
intimacy of I'm you're in my, 

1006
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,000
I'm in my home. 
Yeah. 

1007
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,000
Welcome. 
To my home shoes off. 

1008
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:50,560
Shoes off but no condom. 
No condom. 

1009
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,240
Come. 
Come on the walls. 

1010
00:45:53,240 --> 00:45:55,040
Yeah. 
Hot. 

1011
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,240
Yeah. 
But I'm not like, drinking it. 

1012
00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,720
I'm not like I don't need it on.
My But you want it on your butt?

1013
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,480
Yeah, all the time. 
Ideally I'll take it on, I'll 

1014
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,280
take it anywhere but like, but 
you don't. 

1015
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,960
I guess I'm not like come 
hungry. 

1016
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,680
OK, I guess my hole is yeah, but
like. 

1017
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:14,640
It's like for yourself. 
Hole is hedison. 

1018
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:17,400
OK, Yeah. 
I'm not, I'm not against it. 

1019
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:18,600
I'm. 
Deliveries in the rear. 

1020
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,000
Yeah, I OK, I guess I am. 
Drop Amazon back. 

1021
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,240
I guess I'm off in the back. 
I guess I am. 

1022
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:25,880
And why am I lying to myself? 
That's OK. 

1023
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:28,960
No, it's a good differentiation.
But you know how there are some 

1024
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,240
guys who are literally like. 
On my tongue like they're on 

1025
00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:32,840
blowers. 
Yes, they're on. 

1026
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,760
They're blowy. 
They're blowy blower, blower. 

1027
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,560
OK, sorry. 
I'm sorry, new to the terminal. 

1028
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:44,480
Don't disrespect my Oh, OK. 
And the last thing we'll do is, 

1029
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,600
what's a piece of advice you 
give to young Mike before he 

1030
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:54,400
began his sexual journey? 
Wow, Start smaller no? 

1031
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:00,440
No what literally ever. 
And I was like, no, take the cap

1032
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,640
off. 
Take the fucking cat off. 

1033
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,680
Literally Mike, don't do it. 
Put a condom on it at least. 

1034
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,640
I've done that before, put the 
condom on the thing and. 

1035
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,160
Then what was the thing? 
Well, I started with sharpie 

1036
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,960
markers. 
Small. 

1037
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,960
That's really I'm like. 
It went right in you. 

1038
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,040
Can put like just like keep. 
Going, I'm sure you could have a

1039
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,200
bundle. 
I could out the front all the 

1040
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,840
way. 
Fucking magician act. 

1041
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,400
OK. 
I I would tell my I would tell 

1042
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,760
Mike. 
I would tell him Don't hook up 

1043
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:34,680
with that frat guy who wouldn't 
tell you his name. 

1044
00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:39,440
And if he puts a pillow over his
face, you should probably walk 

1045
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,320
away. 
Wait, wait, wait. 

1046
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,440
It just feels like a story. 
It is because he gave me crabs 

1047
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,360
and like. 
And he covered his face like so 

1048
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:48,880
he. 
I'm not, I'm not kidding. 

1049
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,600
He wouldn't tell me his name. 
Which ones? 

1050
00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:53,800
If they won't tell you their 
name, it's not. 

1051
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,680
He's Shouldn't they also be 
ready with a fake name? 

1052
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:57,640
Yeah, give me. 
I don't care. 

1053
00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:58,640
Exactly. 
I'm like, tell me you're. 

1054
00:47:58,640 --> 00:47:59,440
But he's Todd. 
He. 

1055
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,320
Was dumb he. 
Was like dumb frat guy. 

1056
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,400
Yeah, it was my last hookup I 
had in in college. 

1057
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,800
But he came inside, won Tommy's 
name. 

1058
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:09,160
I went to go get like Lube from 
the bathroom and I come into my 

1059
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:10,760
room. 
He's hurting, naked, hard, 

1060
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:13,720
pillow over his face. 
Had you not seen him yet? 

1061
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,640
And I, I mean, I, I invited him 
into the into the house and 

1062
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:18,840
then. 
Was he acting weird? 

1063
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:22,200
Yeah, I mean, he was extremely 
nervous and like not looking at 

1064
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,960
me and I. 
So he was just like, sit on it. 

1065
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:29,360
Didn't even say that just like 
literally their hard lying there

1066
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:33,880
and I sat on it and he gave me 
crabs and that's one of my and 

1067
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,520
like it last little crabs. 
I could not get rid of butthole.

1068
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,760
Crabs. 
No, it was pube pube crabs. 

1069
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,080
I don't shave. 
You don't shave. 

1070
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,840
No, me neither. 
I love a full book. 

1071
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,320
Same. 
I like not touching anything. 

1072
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,440
Yeah, whenever. 
Oh my God. 

1073
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:51,400
Nothing more eerie than a penis 
with shaved. 

1074
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,680
It looks and then it's pokey. 
Yeah, sure, but it's just like 

1075
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,760
what? 
It looks so foreign like, so 

1076
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,920
alien like. 
I'd also say like, don't modify 

1077
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,040
yourself for another guy. 
I know that's like not funny 

1078
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,240
advice, but it's like. 
This is not all funny. 

1079
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,640
You're right. 
Yeah. 

1080
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:09,120
You know, we can be deep, too. 
We can. 

1081
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,160
We've gotten deep. 
The humor's there. 

1082
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,600
But no, I like I I I would do 
that often. 

1083
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,320
I think I would like I had a guy
once tell me he wouldn't fuck me

1084
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,040
unless I wax my hole. 
Yeah, I had that guy too. 

1085
00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:23,000
Oh, was that Sam? 
He had a big thing. 

1086
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,960
OK, did he have an American flag
tattoo on his butt? 

1087
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,080
No. 
OK, different guy then. 

1088
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,720
I think you'd remember that, no?
Wait, was this a kind of a 

1089
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:34,640
blondish guy? 
Yes, I've hooked up with him. 

1090
00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:38,240
I have because I remember that 
American flag this guy that I 

1091
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:41,120
was talking about was not that 
we're sisters. 

1092
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:47,080
Oh my God, but it must have been
that I just like blew him. 

1093
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,920
This is years ago this. 
Would have been. 

1094
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,680
Years ago, this was maybe 10 
years. 

1095
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,120
Ago. 
I mean, you're talking like 12 

1096
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:53,640
for me. 
Wow. 

1097
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,560
But like, he was, I remember 
because he had a beautiful big 

1098
00:49:56,560 --> 00:50:00,160
Dick, he did. 
The American flag tattoo. 

1099
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,280
God should have been the biggest
red flag right there. 

1100
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:06,200
Like literally nowadays I'd be 
like, what do you fucking mean 

1101
00:50:06,240 --> 00:50:08,360
with that? 
I couldn't even take his house. 

1102
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,000
So I think he was like Scottish 
or something as well. 

1103
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,800
He was like British. 
It was like he didn't have an 

1104
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,200
accent, but he was like, he was 
like half of that. 

1105
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,520
Like he was from either born 
there and brought over early I 

1106
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:17,640
remember. 
I did to think about it. 

1107
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:19,600
Well, it doesn't matter. 
Let's not think about it. 

1108
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:22,800
But he was like, I won't fuck 
you unless you wax your hole. 

1109
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:27,000
And I went and yeah, I got my 
first wax, my first and only 

1110
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,840
wax. 
I was like, I don't. 

1111
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,800
And then it grows back and 
you're like itchy hole. 

1112
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:32,680
Yeah, and also I kind of like, 
you know what? 

1113
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,040
I like my hairy hole. 
Yeah, and guys go crazy. 

1114
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:38,600
For it guys love a hairy hole. 
Crazy for it because it's manly,

1115
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,720
sure, and we're nothing if not 
it's. 

1116
00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:42,640
Manly. 
And it's sensory. 

1117
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,400
Yeah, it's sensory too. 
You're getting some text. 

1118
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,200
You're getting some. 
Texture and a little souvenir 

1119
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:49,360
because they're like. 
Something to Remember Me by, 

1120
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,400
yeah. 
Come on, a booty hole hair. 

1121
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:53,680
So don't modify your body. 
Don't, yeah. 

1122
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,160
So don't mod, don't or don't 
modify. 

1123
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,080
Like, don't modify yourself to 
like, try to fit the fantasy of 

1124
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,040
someone else 'cause you should 
be the you should be. 

1125
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:02,600
The you are the. 
Fantasy. 

1126
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,760
Oh, that's beautiful. 
You are the fantasy. 

1127
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,280
Tell the Tower Bottoms where 
they can find love and support 

1128
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:11,240
you. 
At Sponge M123 across all 

1129
00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:12,960
platforms. 
How did Sponge Mike happen? 

1130
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:17,440
I, I was obsessed with SpongeBob
growing up and I thought, well, 

1131
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:21,080
isn't that funny if I'm not 
SpongeBob, but I'm Sponge Mike. 

1132
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,680
I wrote my college essay on 
SpongeBob, like get into 

1133
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:27,240
college, and that was received 
very well. 

1134
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,000
And so I kind of just like, I 
was like, you know what, I'm 

1135
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,400
just going to make that my 
thing. 

1136
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,640
But to be clear, Sponge Mike was
taken. 

1137
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:37,680
Sponge Mike was taken. 
So I was like, well, what about 

1138
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:38,600
1-2? 
Three. 

1139
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,800
Wow. 
And then I I thought about 

1140
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:44,520
rebranding to Big Gay Mike also 
taken the game like 1-2 three. 

1141
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,400
But I was just like, you know 
what people call me Sponge Mike.

1142
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,000
Yeah, Oh, that's the curse of 
social media. 

1143
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:55,120
I've introduced people as their 
handle because I was like blank.

1144
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,960
And I'm like. 
I know there's some people that 

1145
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:58,520
you own. 
I mean, do you know Joey 

1146
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:00,040
Capuana? 
Maybe. 

1147
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:03,120
OK, well on online he's Joey 
Christmas, so for a long time I 

1148
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,240
thought his last name is 
Christmas. 

1149
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,400
But it's and that's on him. 
That is on him, but his last 

1150
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,920
name is Capuana. 
It's not Christmas but he people

1151
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:10,840
know him as Joey Christmas. 
Wow. 

1152
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,720
Jeremy, it's just like, that's 
just how it happens. 

1153
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:15,840
Meet Benny Drama. 
He's Benny Drama. 

1154
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,320
Mike, thank you so much for 
doing this. 

1155
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,080
Thank you for having me truly I 
think what a way to start. 

1156
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,360
I think it's the two parter 
because we talked for a long 

1157
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,400
time. 
Yeah, Jesus, it's one. 

1158
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,840
Is it really OK come see me on 
the road? 

1159
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:33,240
Support Mike, find him, check 
out the YouTube to see how hot 

1160
00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:35,240
he is. 
And until next time, keep 

1161
00:52:35,240 --> 00:52:41,920
sucking him. 
Fucking Hello, Tower Bottoms. 

1162
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,760
It's me, your host, Zach Newey 
Towers. 

1163
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,040
Thank you so much for listening 
to Good Side Pod. 

1164
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:49,160
If you haven't already, give it 
a five star rating. 

1165
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,000
Leave a review, share it with a 
friend, get the word out. 

1166
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,160
I love you so much.
