1 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,640 Yeah, more. Give it to me. 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:15,560 Yeah, more. Good morning Sad Mites with Zach 3 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:27,160 Bowie Towers Day harder. Hi. 4 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,240 Hi, welcome back to the pod. Thank you, I can't believe I'm 5 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,600 back. If y'all haven't listened to 6 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,480 Jake's first episode, this is a return to a good side pod. 7 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:39,880 But your episode is called Sex God. 8 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,200 Do you remember anything you said? 9 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,000 I remember that I was I said like I have AI just bragged on 10 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,080 your podcast and was like, I have a big, beautiful Dick. 11 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,040 Big, beautiful. Yes. 12 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,240 Something like that and that you're very good at sex. 13 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,000 All things that are true. Those are the things I remember 14 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,920 too. Jake is your social worker. 15 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,360 Yes. But also model. 16 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,319 Yes. And actually, I haven't asked 17 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:05,720 you. I haven't caught up as a friend. 18 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,040 Are you still exploring modeling again? 19 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,720 Because you. You threatened to. 20 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,520 I threatened to yeah, you know, the door is kind of always open 21 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:20,240 or maybe the window is open and I'm willing to go through it, 22 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,720 but that's not kind of my, my major focus right now. 23 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,440 OK, I'm I'm still trying to figure it out. 24 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,840 Are you fun? Employed. 25 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,200 I I am. So I just finished a contract 26 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,080 with the county. Yeah, I do. 27 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,680 I do contracts with the county. And so now trying to figure out 28 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,000 if I'm going to do another one or do something different. 29 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,720 So if you or anybody has any ideas let me know if. 30 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:49,240 You have a job for Jade? We were just having a great 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:53,800 conversation before we started recording about kind of our not 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:59,080 necessarily attachment styles, but like how we go about dating 33 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:07,400 and how we often pursue people that we know aren't available to 34 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:12,760 some extent in an effort to maybe not get hurt. 35 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,960 And but then cut to you do wind up getting hurt. 36 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,440 Where for the people who don't know what's like your 37 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:26,920 relationship status and like what's your current like sex and 38 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:30,880 dating life like? So my current relationship 39 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:36,880 status is. I'm single and I would say that 40 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:42,720 my, I think I'm ready and I've been doing some of the internal 41 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:47,040 work that maybe two years ago or three years ago when we were on 42 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:52,280 on this podcast, I was kind of more like, I'm a slut. 43 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,160 Yeah. Like, I don't, you know, I'm 44 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,320 having fun, whatever. I think now I'm starting to 45 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:05,800 really feel ready to like find like a romantic partner and it's 46 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,520 crazy because I think my sex life reflects that as well now 47 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,240 where like now like my biggest kink is like somebody being 48 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,560 like, like, I'm into you, like I, I like. 49 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,000 The innocent stuff. Yeah, I, it's like, I want that 50 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,560 connection so bad. I I and I like the fantasies 51 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:29,120 that I have are like, I'm like, this is so toxic. 52 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,680 I'm like in. I can't wait. 53 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,560 I can't wait. I'm in somebody and I'm like 54 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,160 staring in their eyes and I'm like saying like I love you. 55 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:42,000 Isn't that crazy? That's like way down the the the 56 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,080 road. But I think I haven't had that 57 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,600 in so long that now I'm like. But you have had it. 58 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,880 Yeah, I think. And when you say you're in 59 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:55,160 someone you're soaking like or it's like you're between thrusts 60 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,880 or you're doing it cause also someone told me about like sex, 61 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,560 naps, basically where you like. I've always wanted to do that. 62 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,760 You enter them and like, you aren't humping but you're 63 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:12,080 obviously moving enough at certain points to stay hard and 64 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,680 stay in them. I thought you're. 65 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,640 It's very like I'm inside you, but we're like resting. 66 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,720 I thought it was like you're literally asleep, like you fall 67 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,560 sex. Well, it's just like you might 68 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,640 have just had sex and. Then you stay in. 69 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,160 Them and then you stay in there and I feel like that feels 70 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,080 romantic. It's like you're, you know, 71 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,880 you're like connected, but you're, you know, it's like 72 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,080 transcendent. So the booty does go. 73 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,760 It's like foreign object push, yeah. 74 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:47,960 Eventually it comes. Or do you, do you strap in and 75 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:52,040 then like you tie each other like in the spooning position? 76 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,840 Wait, that's, that's so funny. OK. 77 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:58,640 So you have had that where you're in, you're inside 78 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,320 somebody and you're saying like I love you. 79 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:06,480 But I, I don't think I've had it to the extent that I want to 80 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,880 have it. And maybe that's just like kind. 81 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,680 Of fantasy. Yeah, an attic brain. 82 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:15,000 Like I need it the most extreme kind of vibe that's like. 83 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,120 Never enough. Right, right. 84 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,320 'Cause when you're inside someone and maybe about you 85 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,520 inject DNA into them, some would say you couldn't get any closer 86 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,920 unless you start saying things like. 87 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:32,040 Right, right. I want to be with you forever. 88 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:38,880 Yeah, I think, I think the like, obviously the novel Do you have 89 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,560 sex hasn't worn off. I don't, I hope it never does. 90 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,560 But I think there's like this level now where I'm like, Oh 91 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,800 yeah, like sex is. And if I want to bring it to the 92 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,840 next level where like I feel so turned on, it's this connection, 93 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,840 it's like. Get to know their name, Yeah. 94 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,680 Know something about them, Yeah. Maybe that they're staying the 95 00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,480 night. Maybe this is the first time of 96 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,240 two times you're going to have sex with them over the course of 97 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,680 the weekend. Totally. 98 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:09,280 I mean, what would be kind of the ultimate fantasy is like, 99 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,000 maybe I call them my boyfriend. That would be crazy. 100 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,160 I mean, it's been five years, so it does feel like like, exotic. 101 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,680 It's been five years since you have had a boyfriend. 102 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:19,600 Yeah. OK. 103 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,280 So the pandemic took so much from us. 104 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,040 It did. So talk to us then about the 105 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,880 timeline about like, 'cause you said this off the pot too. 106 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:36,080 And I, I'm doing the same thing, going to places, meeting people 107 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,080 IRL. What's like a timeline for 108 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,880 getting to calling them your boyfriend, penetrating them and 109 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,200 saying I love you. Like how too soon as too soon. 110 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,520 Have you had, have you looked up with some guy who says I love 111 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,080 you as like kind of like a kink thing? 112 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:59,160 I, I don't know if I've ever had somebody say I love you, but 113 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,480 I've had people say crazy stuff where you're like you, I'm like, 114 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,240 you don't know me and that's not this. 115 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:08,680 And when I'm, when I'm saying like, oh, I, I want to say that 116 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,880 I love you. I really mean like, I mean it. 117 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,960 But I'm not somebody who's like gonna rush it out at all. 118 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:20,160 So it would definitely in my mind, I think I go kind of slow. 119 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:24,120 So it would be like, let me go on some dates, you know, it's 120 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:28,960 like a few months and then. When are you having sex though? 121 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:36,600 Pretty soon, OK, 'cause that's important right to know if if 122 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,080 you're connected yes. What about you? 123 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:43,840 Like do you what's kind of I I feel like I didn't even going 124 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:48,160 back to the last question about like relationships and sex right 125 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:52,040 now, like what are you feeling? I'm kind of in the same place 126 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:56,880 where I'm just like I've hooked up a lot since I was became 127 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:01,160 sexually active. I'm still like a a horny human 128 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:06,720 being with needs, but at this point I'm almost two weeks off 129 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,520 the dating apps 'cause I found it to be like a little bit of a, 130 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,680 a low return on investment, taking more time than giving. 131 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:20,520 So like the concept of meeting someone IRL, having chemistry, 132 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,040 both putting in the work, both being available, having good 133 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:28,520 sexual chemistry and like really exploring that does sound 134 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,679 titillating. Whereas being on this side of 135 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,960 town, 'cause if we're on the east side right now, being on 136 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,120 hopping on grinder, finding some dude who's like, I don't know, 137 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,000 working at a mechanic's shop, like down the way and like, you 138 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,720 should come blow me like hot, hot, hot. 139 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:46,360 Like all my Pistons are firing. But now I'm like, oh, but 140 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,120 wouldn't it also be cute if I was going to the farmers market 141 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:53,480 with the boy for our first date and we like made physical 142 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,960 contact there? Like the little stuff like the 143 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,320 Oh my God, or like on the oh, watch out for that person. 144 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,040 They guide you away by touching your lower back. 145 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,720 Like that sounds so much hotter, right? 146 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,520 Than like anything. I mess up in the garden. 147 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:15,920 Totally, totally like getting, you know, anything, Yeah. 148 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:22,200 And so I'm also patient. I also have like a faith because 149 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:27,600 of the recovery program that I'm in and I'm not stressed about 150 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,320 it. I am avoidant. 151 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:34,720 So that's factored in there too. But I do and I have to worry. 152 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,360 I have to wonder about this, like the fantasy of it all, 153 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:42,560 where I'm like, oh, am I fantasizing about going to like 154 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:46,160 watch RuPaul's Drag Race tonight at high tops, seeing the guy 155 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:51,520 from across the bar saying hi, exchanging numbers, him texting, 156 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,360 I really wanted to kiss you tonight. 157 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,400 And then it's like, I don't know, you know what I mean? 158 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,840 It's. Like it's a story I run with it. 159 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:04,360 I mean, it's sometimes that's like even more fun or like it 160 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,640 tickles me more than actually like meeting that person in real 161 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,040 life. Like, what is the potential that 162 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,360 this person has? And what's this like narrative 163 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,440 that I'm creating? Oh, I can get off on that. 164 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,640 See and but someone someone say that that's like that can lead 165 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,120 to problems. Totally. 166 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,920 Yeah, 'cause then also what reality can match up with that? 167 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,680 Right. And you're never like, you're 168 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:31,240 not allowing people to surprise you 'cause you already have like 169 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,200 all of these expectations which are crazy. 170 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,960 They're like these like. They're infusions of TV and 171 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:38,760 film. Totally. 172 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,040 And the best stories you've ever heard. 173 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,960 Yeah, and our imagination. Yeah. 174 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:48,640 And, and so then it's like that person is fighting an uphill 175 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,800 battle and they're never going to win. 176 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:55,720 So something that I've been trying to work on is letting 177 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,560 people surprise me and having no expectations. 178 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,160 That's great. Which is. 179 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,880 That's like clear your mind. That's a, that's a Kingdom 180 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,520 meditating where it's like, oh, we just don't think of anything. 181 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,280 And you're like, that's impossible. 182 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,640 And it's really hard. Yeah, it's really, really hard. 183 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,520 I especially because I'll be in a gay space, like a gym or like 184 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,040 a bar, like maybe if I go tonight and there's hot guys all 185 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:22,240 around and I'm like, I imagine they're all cool and I imagine 186 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,440 they're all good kissers. And I imagine I could live a 187 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:30,080 happy life with any of them. And then like in reality, one of 188 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,040 the ones I didn't even notice might be the only one interested 189 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,680 in me. And like you said, I have a 190 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:39,320 different story in my mind. So I mean, I even notice that 191 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,160 he's flirting because I'm like, well, not you. 192 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:45,120 It's. Always like. 193 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,720 I want. I'm so alone. 194 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:52,920 But not you, yeah. Yeah, it's it's very, very that. 195 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,200 But that's part of the avoidance thing too, where you're like, 196 00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:02,120 no, part of The thing is I want someone who doesn't maybe fully 197 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,600 want me. But then there's also the 198 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,520 fantasy of they're perfect and I want them and they want me and 199 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,520 it's like, so hot. Sometimes there's a little bit 200 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,240 different, but sometimes like I'll have a gym crush and I'll 201 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,400 know, like I'll have the awareness, like my gym crush 202 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,080 isn't who I think they. Are. 203 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,200 So I won't ever talk to them and I'll just, I'll just live in 204 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,480 that. Little let them be. 205 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,120 And be the gym fantasy and we have like a little fake 206 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,600 relationship in my head and I pretend like they noticed me, 207 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,720 which they never do. And it's like a but that that's, 208 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,360 you know, then I, I can have that, you know. 209 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,040 Do you really think your gym crush doesn't notice you? 210 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:45,880 So currently. OK to be clear I am dating my 211 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,720 gym crush but no. No, no, currently at my gym 212 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:58,440 there's this little like little man and short. 213 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,920 Kings shout out shout. Out to our short kings out 214 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,440 there. I don't know. 215 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:08,560 He's probably usually I'm I'm 60, so I'm I kind of I. 216 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,800 Can't wait for you to say what little is. 217 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,440 Go on. I, I don't know, in my mind he's 218 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,720 like 5657. OK, cool. 219 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,000 I don't know. And he's very fit and he's very 220 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,240 cute and he pays me absolute dust. 221 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,040 And he's like kind of got like a little Kunti attitude. 222 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,280 So he's gay? Yeah, I think so. 223 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,680 I mean, he wears like kind of like the he's got like the 224 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:37,640 lesbian tags. Yeah, and I'm obsessed with him, 225 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:42,160 and I think it's because he pays me absolute dust like he won't. 226 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,920 And what does that tell you about me, you know? 227 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:49,360 That's not a unique thing though when like we are like foaming at 228 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,600 the mouth over someone who doesn't know we exist. 229 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,160 I have to say I have a opposite taller built. 230 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,880 Couldn't seize through me. Like I'm made of cellophane. 231 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:06,080 Like truly does not see me as a human being in the gym, which 232 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,240 makes it easier to stare, 'cause like he's never gonna, he's 233 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,760 never gonna catch me. You have to look at me first. 234 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,440 Well, that that's part of like with this guy. 235 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,880 I'm like, is he ever gonna look? So I'm constantly staring away 236 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,720 and never. Trying to catch guys. 237 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,960 You know, what's really crazy is there'd be so much power in, 238 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,880 say, you, like, run into them at the grocery store or something 239 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,360 where they're maybe disarmed. And she's like, hey, I think we 240 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,760 go to the same gym. I've always wanted to say hi. 241 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,880 Yeah, but I'm Jake. Yeah. 242 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,000 And then just see what happens. Totally. 243 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,520 I wouldn't. You would never do that. 244 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,120 No, I, I want to do something like that. 245 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,560 Even in the gym. I'm kind of like, do I ever say 246 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:50,880 something? But then you don't want to ruin 247 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,080 it. But I think you're right. 248 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:56,320 It would be more in like a outside place it would be. 249 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,880 I think it would be such a like a like. 250 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,440 Empowering. Yeah, it'd be like I'm, I'm 251 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,640 brave. And I will say I am pro ruining 252 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:08,440 the fantasy ruin. It 'cause then. 253 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,160 There's a lot of guys out there, but then take him off the list. 254 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,280 But then he's like, you know, a good reason why I go to the gym. 255 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,200 OK. He gets me to the gym. 256 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,520 Cute boys in general get my ass to the gym. 257 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,480 They also get me to meetings where I'm just like, That's the 258 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,680 other thing too. I've made a decision not to 259 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,960 date, not to intentionally date a guy from our recovery program, 260 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:36,360 but I can. I can be titillated by cute boys 261 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,480 at meetings. Totally. 262 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,760 I will also say good. For you for the first part of 263 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,240 that. Not dating with intention, no. 264 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,520 No, no, not dating people right in the. 265 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,600 Program, I would never say no. It was that's like not an 266 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:56,280 airtight rule, but I would never like intentionally start 267 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,720 flirting with someone from like a meeting. 268 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:02,800 I always go to the ideal would be honestly, we meet 269 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,560 organically, find out 30 minutes into the conversation. 270 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,840 We're both sober and they go to like east side meetings. 271 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,520 I go to West Side meetings and maybe we go to each other's 272 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,160 meeting. Like I get you with the fantasy. 273 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:19,000 I I like the fantasy like that. Like I have a friend, Deborah D 274 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,640 Giovanni, who loves 'cause I'll just have like a piece of 275 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,120 information. I can weave a tail. 276 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,200 Yeah, which is fun. I agree. 277 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,920 I think that's exactly what I want is somebody that doesn't go 278 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,040 to any of my meetings but then is actually in the program and 279 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,400 sober. They're also like a chef and 280 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:44,680 like a massage therapist, but just like, as a hobby, you know? 281 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,240 Oh, a massage therapist is a hobby. 282 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,520 Well, just for me. Really. 283 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,440 Well duh, OK duh. The dream. 284 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,920 OK, let's go over what the dream is. 285 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:59,080 Cause the dream is a guy who is more like quiet for me. 286 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:04,079 More quiet but very funny. Just like feels the need to jump 287 00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,720 in sparingly. Can they be funnier? 288 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,480 As long as they don't need to be the ham in the room. 289 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:12,480 Got it. OK. 290 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,880 Like as long as that, like I obviously need someone who's my 291 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:21,240 supporting act and not I don't, I can't be the sidekick when it 292 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,319 comes to like you're on a show, I think. 293 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:25,240 Yeah. No, that's fair. 294 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:30,160 Especially like in that context. Yeah, like. 295 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,440 They could be the Beyoncé of their own thing, whatever they. 296 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:35,280 Want yes, I would love that. And I was just like the meek one 297 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,440 who was like, oh, I don't know anything about glassblowing. 298 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,280 Please go on. But like I want my friends to be 299 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,560 like, I love Trevor. He's so like, sweet and funny, 300 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:50,400 but like, he's also such a good cook and like Trevor like, loves 301 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,600 taking candid photos of me when I'm like, not paying attention. 302 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,680 That's so cute. I know. 303 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,720 That's so. Cute and then it's like I don't 304 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,160 even even at someone who posts like I don't have to like I'll 305 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,400 be on the trip enjoying him, enjoying my time. 306 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,520 And he's like, wait, you look so cute pink. 307 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,320 And then like I have a little built in photographer is what 308 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,560 I'm saying. And that he really does like 309 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:17,160 massaging. And like I've been thinking 310 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,320 recently, I want to date a soft top. 311 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:26,360 OK, who's like gentle but like a top but also like doesn't bring 312 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:32,080 out the the dominance until like halfway through the experience, 313 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,040 OK. Yeah. 314 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,960 I like that. Like, kind of unsuspecting. 315 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,760 Yeah. And you're like, oh, yeah. 316 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,280 Oh, I forgot. He is in charge. 317 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:39,640 Nice. Yeah. 318 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,920 It's it's like the gosh, there's like a word for it. 319 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,120 It's like silent confidence. Yeah. 320 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,720 But I think there's a better word for that. 321 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,680 But like, kind of like quiet confidence. 322 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,560 Quiet confidence. Like they're like you're like, 323 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:53,720 OK. They're grounded. 324 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,240 But then they can really kind of pull it together. 325 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:57,840 No, this is what we're going to do. 326 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Deep voice, very rich. 327 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,080 Wow. I mean, you're probably not of 328 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,560 the age yet, 'cause I used to romanticize. 329 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,360 We're both going to figure it out. 330 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,680 As someone who is on the cusp of figuring it out, I don't. 331 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,880 At this point I don't think I could date someone who is 332 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:20,240 struggling a bunch more than me. No, me neither. 333 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,840 I can't do transitional things very I, I need like you have 334 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:29,280 your company or something or like you have your dentistry or 335 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:34,800 your law thing and like you have that part figured out. 336 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:41,000 Yeah, yeah, I agree. I feel like I could, I I like to 337 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,240 be one of my friends. They there's like this 338 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,160 philosophy that they talk about of like in a partnership, 339 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,400 everybody, there's one person's the star and one person's the 340 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:51,120 rock. Yeah. 341 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,560 And the star is like, kind of like. 342 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,400 There's gardener and flower too. OK, Yeah, so like the rock is 343 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,520 kind of who's holding it down? They're kind of like the, you 344 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,120 know, the. Anchor the rock. 345 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,640 The Rock. Yeah, and the star is kind of 346 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,560 like giving the show. On fire, full of gas. 347 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:11,120 I do find myself, I think I'm more of the rock, but I in the 348 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,040 relationships, but I think that comes with like the emotional 349 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,920 side of like being grounded and all of that. 350 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,760 But I'm kind of looking for like my like financial rock. 351 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:26,120 Yeah, 'cause I'm, I'm like these gay guys in the money that gay 352 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,880 gene missed me. I'm like, I want to be like, I 353 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,720 want to be gay, right? I want to be how did they get to 354 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,640 Puerto Vallarta this weekend? I will say guys do be taking 355 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,720 trips last minute. And I can only assume it's 356 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,880 because they do have corporate jobs they've had since they were 357 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,800 22, maybe no debt going into the corporate job and no kids, 358 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,400 right? So they're just like, yeah, I'm 359 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,920 going to buy Prada. Right, working in homeless 360 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,280 services isn't going to quite get me that that lifestyle. 361 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,200 Yeah, being assaulted in the modeling industry also doesn't 362 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,160 lead to, well, the the other thing is you could ride some 363 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,000 rich daddy into the sunset. Yeah, but I can't. 364 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,720 I know I've tried emotionally and like I. 365 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,960 Can't. I can't do it. 366 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,600 I feel you. Some things, the price tag does 367 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:17,080 not exist. OK, I'm trying to think, OK, so 368 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,720 we both said that. We've expressed that oh, you 369 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:25,840 just got back on the apps. Yes, but I I mean I'm very. 370 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,840 You're wishy washy. Yes. 371 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,520 You don't trust them that much? No. 372 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,000 Are there any ones like I guess when I say the apps I mean like 373 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,240 grinder but are you on like a more Christian one like Tinder, 374 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,120 A bumble or? Hinge. 375 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:41,000 I'm on Hinge. Hinge does seem to be the other 376 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,760 gay app. Yeah, I don't. 377 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:48,200 I will like match, I mean just the common gay story. 378 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,680 You'll match with somebody you'll like, have 3 messages and 379 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,960 then beyond to the next. That was my Tinder, yeah, a 380 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,640 graveyard of conversations. Yeah, horrible. 381 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:02,320 Horrible, huh? I'm, I'm really in this new era 382 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,120 of trying to meet people in person IRL. 383 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:10,600 And it's always, I think it's because then people can surprise 384 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,880 you is you go someplace and then you like have a conversation. 385 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,800 Something new for me is like, I'll meet somebody and I'll be 386 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,320 like, Oh yeah, they're cool. Like, or they're cute. 387 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,040 You know, when I, but I'm not like, wow, they're so hot. 388 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:28,840 Like, like, I gotta, you know, take them home tonight. 389 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,000 But then we'll like continue talking throughout the night. 390 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,120 And then I'll be like, damn, 'cause what they got on the 391 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:39,320 inside is sexy. Then I'll be like, Oh yes, like, 392 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,680 and that's something new for me because I think I used to always 393 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,640 be like that person across the room. 394 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,880 They're really hot. I wanna like focus my. 395 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,320 Energy. Or whatever. 396 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,720 And maybe that's maturity or or whatever, but now I'm kind of 397 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,400 being more open to. Broadening your. 398 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,120 Yeah, letting people surprise me. 399 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,840 I agree that also I will say when I got off the apps last 400 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:10,160 time, as soon as I got off them, I was meeting people in real 401 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,120 life. And I don't know, my theory is 402 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:16,600 that I was putting sexual energy into my phone before and then 403 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,000 after I put the phone down, I was broadcasting it and people 404 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,840 were picking up on that. But yeah, all of a sudden I'd be 405 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,920 like at it was high tops actually on the east side for a 406 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,600 friend's birthday and someone I had never met before. 407 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,720 We were talking 20 minutes in the conversation. 408 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,640 He goes, we should have sex sometime. 409 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:44,320 And I was like, OK, but it was like, it's, it's an experience I 410 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,920 don't think I would have had if I were still on the apps. 411 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,240 Cause in theory, I could have been half checked in, half 412 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,480 checked out to that conversation in general, 'cause I'm like, 413 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,720 well, this guy who's 800 feet away is like hitting me up. 414 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,280 Yeah, yeah. There's just something so you 415 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,120 can't really hide when you're face to face. 416 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,200 Absolutely. Both the apps, yeah. 417 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,480 Yeah, and you immediately get a vibe, yes. 418 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:14,480 And that that will carry you so far 'cause you either go, this 419 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,080 person is for sure not for me. Like you know, you get the Eck 420 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:23,400 kind of or, or like they're friend zoned or whatever or you 421 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:28,320 are like, wow, they have this thing that I'm drawn to where 422 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,800 you can never, no matter what, no app can give you that. 423 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,800 No, like even if they do a voice note or whatever I still don't 424 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,080 think it's it's the same. I mean there literally has to be 425 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,920 a pheromone to to this aspect where you can like 426 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:49,080 subconsciously smell them. But so many times I've had epic 427 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:54,080 conversations with guys on apps and then 2 seconds in the 428 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:58,080 meeting I'm like Oh no you, you fool me, right? 429 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,160 I'm. I mean, you can't even. 430 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,240 Your hand was so cold. Sorry, I know. 431 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,280 That Oh my God, cold hands. Why? 432 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,360 One time this old woman said, cold hands, warm heart. 433 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,360 So I've been running with that ever since. 434 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,560 OK, well, you don't need to ice your hands or whatever you do. 435 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,240 I think it's you circulation, yeah, that's yeah. 436 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,240 I also kind of have poor circulation, but it suits me. 437 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,240 You look like you would like. I don't know. 438 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,120 I think it's like I have long. Oh, and it takes a while to get 439 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,040 to get everywhere. Cool app by the time to get to 440 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:34,720 the the fingertips a. Lady said Cold. 441 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,480 Yeah, cold. Cold hands, Warm heart. 442 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,200 Oh, I was gonna say that. I think also with the apps and 443 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,400 you can maybe speak to this 'cause you've experienced it 444 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,720 from me. You know I sound like a serial 445 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:51,000 killer over text. Oh my Jake is one of those 446 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,280 people who when he texts I'm like, well, he wants me dead. 447 00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:02,280 He actually wants to be my 13th reason something I did may upset 448 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,440 him. It's like devoid of any emotion, 449 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,280 any personality. It's it's like worse than AI 450 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:17,320 cause AI is like fake pretend. Nice to see you, but you're just 451 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,640 like, no. Yeah, it's there's something in 452 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:25,160 my brain that just doesn't think that texting that that sort of 453 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:29,120 medium doesn't like connect. And so I, I mean it's I'm. 454 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:36,160 Here to tell you you're wrong. It was for I do it to everybody, 455 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,280 I and. And I wish I could say that 456 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,880 makes me feel better. Can you, can you at least like 457 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,960 take a little pity on me and realize how a. 458 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,480 Lot of pity on me. How how difficult that must be 459 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,440 while I'm trying to be on these ABS? 460 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:54,120 OK, like these men because you lean top or you're a top and 461 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:59,200 like I am used to like my back hurts from all the conversations 462 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,840 with tops I've carried just dragging information out of 463 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,200 them. Right, right. 464 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,720 And it's, I think I, I will ask questions, but it because I 465 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,560 don't put any kind of warmth in it. 466 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,720 It kind of sounds interrogating or, or whatever. 467 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,560 So I don't think I'm doing myself any favors on the apps. 468 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,360 And I constant feedback that I get is like, if somebody is 469 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:26,480 willing to weather the texting and then they meet me in person, 470 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,120 they're like, whoa, you're so different in person, like you're 471 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,000 so warm. And so it's something that I've 472 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,480 always said I'm gonna change, but it still hasn't happened. 473 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,680 So I don't know what I'm gonna do about that. 474 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,680 I don't, I honestly don't know either because it feels like 475 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:46,080 texting's not new. I would willing to bet bet that 476 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,440 since you were a child, you've had access to text messaging. 477 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,840 So you've had countless situations that might have been 478 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,520 the turning point, almost like getting sober where you're like, 479 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:01,920 OK, this ends here. But like Jay, you've pushed 480 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,560 through, you've been like, I'm a still not use emojis. 481 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,640 Like emojis are right there next to the thing. 482 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:10,960 It could really change. I know younger people aren't 483 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:16,040 even using emojis anymore, but for you it might really change 484 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:16,840 the game. Right. 485 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:21,160 I think the three emojis that I use is like the devil, the 486 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,840 purple devil, horny. Do you? 487 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,720 Use it for horny. Yeah, that's a little cliche. 488 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,960 I know. I guess I'm a millennial, you 489 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,120 know? Even like I think the the water 490 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,880 splash is a little bit more. I don't I don't go near her. 491 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,080 No. Really, that's just a little 492 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,960 like too much fluid. Fluid doesn't scare me. 493 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,280 OK, wait, double emoji, smiling or frowning? 494 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,840 Smiling. OK, it's a happy time. 495 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,280 I don't know if bottom might really like they're the top to 496 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,320 look at them like, well, not not pouting, he's kind. 497 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,040 Of isn't it kind of pouting? He's like. 498 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,520 He's just he's got really bad things on his mind. 499 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:05,320 Yeah, I, I like to kind of going back to the, the gentle top 500 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,560 thing or the soft top. I want, I want people to know 501 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,240 that like, I'm a fun top. Like it's like it's a smiley 502 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,680 devil. Like we're having a good time 503 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,200 together. You don't have to be scared. 504 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,280 Like that's just not my energy. It's like we're here, we're 505 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,400 gonna have a good time. You guys are gonna have a good 506 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,000 time. You're like some seminar, like, 507 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,720 OK, turn to the person next to you, suck their Dick. 508 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,320 Oh wait, OK, so purple double emoji. 509 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:34,200 Yeah, I do do the hearts a lot, but that's more for for friends, 510 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,800 family. OK, but I don't think I've ever 511 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,400 gotten one. But also on go off clean. 512 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:44,160 And then maybe the Peach cuz I'm a perv. 513 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:51,040 Fascinating that 66% of your emoji use is sexual. 514 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,880 Yeah, yeah. I would often, OK, you know how 515 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,440 like when we were a little and we didn't have access to 516 00:29:56,440 --> 00:30:01,120 emotions, it'd be like a series of emojis and be like tired, 517 00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,040 sad, happy, angry, mad. Maybe he's just get into the 518 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,720 habit of like, what emoji matches what I'm saying. 519 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,680 Right. Let it fly. 520 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:14,840 But yeah, 'cause I guess what's helpful, I'm kind of realizing 521 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,000 this in real time right now, is that, you know, it's so hard to 522 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,240 know what people's tone is over text. 523 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,160 Yeah, so an emoji could help like be like, oh, I said this 524 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,480 and I'm I'm happy about it or. I'll be there. 525 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,480 I. Said yeah, right. 526 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:29,960 I'll be there. Right. 527 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,800 Mine would say like be there. Yeah. 528 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,040 And that's it. OK. 529 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,160 Never came but like OK. OK, yeah, some would say worse. 530 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,680 That thumbs up something. Oh God. 531 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,520 Yeah, thumbs up. They. 532 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,320 Literally I think they have a smiley thumbs up guy. 533 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,800 That's crazy. You know I love sending as the 534 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,920 pregnant boy. For what? 535 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:59,200 You can imagine, like if I'm really excited about something 536 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,520 like you just got. I'm pregnant. 537 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,000 Yeah. I'm like, you guys want to go to 538 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,000 Chili's? I'm like pregnant boy. 539 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,920 Oh, I love that. Like hell yeah, I know. 540 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,200 Yeah. Or like someone will post a hot 541 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,160 guy and I'll comment pregnant boy. 542 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,440 Right, right. I'm carrying his baby. 543 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,080 Right, you're waiting, pregnant boy. 544 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:18,880 Yeah, a lot of things it can mean. 545 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:26,560 Yeah, OK, let's. I've I the other thing that I 546 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,960 sorry that I remember about the first time I did this is our 547 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,880 conversation was just kind of all over the place and I feel 548 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,160 like we kind of did the same thing today. 549 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,000 It was intentional. It was intentional. 550 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,720 It was intentional. Or maybe you and I are hard to 551 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,120 wrangle as far as like, well, piece. 552 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,400 I'm trying to think of like we piece in the first episode, we 553 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,880 went over your how we got you here. 554 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,040 So ideally I would have listened to like the end of last episode 555 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,440 and saw like where we left off. Yeah, I couldn't tell. 556 00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:01,080 You but like again years ago. You asked me about like my kind 557 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,720 of first sexual thing and that's and then we got to a place where 558 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,120 I was like, yeah, I'm amazing at sex. 559 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,400 You're like, I'm really good. Yeah, yeah. 560 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,080 I mean, obviously the word sex God was said at some point. 561 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,360 Yeah. And you said a really pretty 562 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,200 penis. Right, so very humble in the 563 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:22,120 first one, but you know the when we did this, we hadn't gone on 564 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,920 our journey yet of being like close friends. 565 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,160 It was like, truly, I hadn't met you and then you were like, do 566 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,560 you want to do my podcast That's. 567 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,960 Crazy. Which is insane. 568 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:37,200 That's crazy, yeah, but now that you're trying to remember it. 569 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,000 Giving you this information not knowing you at all. 570 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,680 I mean like super shy. And I and I ran with it. 1000 of 571 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,240 people have heard it. No, I'm getting a lot more 572 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,800 actually. Let's talk. 573 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:54,440 Have you had in the past three years any career highlights or 574 00:32:54,440 --> 00:33:04,520 low lights in your sex life? It's. 575 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,360 So like it's like hard to to pick. 576 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:15,560 I I feel like I've had some honestly really great make outs 577 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,440 are what's coming. I'm like really into lesbian 578 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,120 sex. Like that's kind of my new over 579 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,400 the last. That's definitely new from the 580 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,600 last podcast, because the last podcast I expressed how I 581 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,080 thought oral and like foreplay was like the bee's knees and 582 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:34,880 you're like, I like to fuck. Yeah, I still do of course, but 583 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:40,320 I'm really like, I just, I can really get into a make out and I 584 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,480 think it kind of goes back to the romance thing to also a make 585 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,800 out can make or break. In Oh my God, I'm not teaching 586 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,080 anyone how to kiss. No, I and it's just like if you, 587 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:54,680 if you're my age and you still don't know, we should put you on 588 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,400 a list. And when you move, you have to 589 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,200 introduce yourself to everyone in the neighborhood as a bad 590 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,400 kisser. No, it's. 591 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,800 Just like, don't waste. My time this is the question 592 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,960 though first it's a multi pronged question. 593 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:11,560 Is there a world in which, much like in other areas of life, 594 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,320 there are no bad kissers, just people who are paired up 595 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:20,159 improperly. I know I'm a great kisser so I'm 596 00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:24,920 kind of like leading you as a witness but I'm sure other 597 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:30,159 people kiss with tight lips and a fish mouth and darting tongue 598 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:32,440 and then when you get 2 together they're like. 599 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,880 I just, I, I sometimes think of, I think about this actually 600 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,880 often like, oh, maybe people just like like some people like 601 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:44,480 getting nod on like like they like the intensity of it. 602 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,679 But then I really think about it and I'm like, I don't, I don't 603 00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:54,800 think that's true because like the after I hand out my survey, 604 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,719 after we've like hooked up, I'm getting touched. 605 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,120 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Intense no matter who you are. 606 00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:02,920 Really good kisser and my last hook up on snippies was a guy 607 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,160 and we weren't even making out, wasn't even like kind of on the 608 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:09,200 docket, but we did because we felt like a strong and he was 609 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,640 like, oh, you're such a good kisser and I was like, you are 610 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,480 too. And he's like, it's hard to come 611 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:15,480 by. I know. 612 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:22,120 OK, but then the other prong of this is at what point do we need 613 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:28,040 to take responsibility and tell people you might want to do 614 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,840 different things when you're noshing on my mouth? 615 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:38,360 I'm, I don't know, did I say this in the last podcast? 616 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,240 I don't know. Who knows? 617 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,200 There's no way. There's no way of know. 618 00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:47,920 But I, I am. I think feedback is a gift in 619 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,680 all parts of life. Like if somebody offers you 620 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:51,920 feedback. Constructive. 621 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,400 If they're like out to get you, then no. 622 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,000 But I think people are really sensitive and and kissing is 623 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,680 like a really vulnerable thing. But that's how we all get better 624 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,200 is I wish we could be like and and you can make it a nice 625 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,960 statement. You can say, Hey, I really like 626 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,560 soft kissing. I don't like a lot of tongue. 627 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,240 I like or I do like a lot of tongue or whatever, or can I 628 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,120 show you how I like to be kissed? 629 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:22,200 And I think that goes for kissing head, any of the sexual 630 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:26,560 things and also like a myriad of other unrelated sex things. 631 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,640 Tell people what you like, because how are they supposed to 632 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,040 know? Yeah, you can't read someone's 633 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,760 mind. I think where it gets tricky is 634 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:37,280 when you say you're a bad kisser and misses. 635 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,040 Why? Why that? 636 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:41,400 OK, that's crazy. Yeah. 637 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:47,600 And I think there's, I mean, you know, there's a lot of clues you 638 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,680 can give, like you can when somebody, if somebody's doing 639 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,520 something that you don't like and then they switch it up and 640 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,080 do something you do. Like you're like, Oh yeah, 641 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,760 that's amazing. Just like that. 642 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,000 I love one of you. Yeah. 643 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:03,080 But I think it's OK to be like, oh, can you do, can you do this? 644 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,240 This is so a lot. More gentle, yeah. 645 00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:08,120 And I'm like all about it. I am too. 646 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,560 I I don't know if I always was. I think I might have 647 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,920 internalized it and been embarrassed in the past, but now 648 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,000 obviously I've seen communication can do so much 649 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:17,920 good, right? Right. 650 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,000 By all me, because I used to think I think I was one of those 651 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,920 people who was like I had to ask him to blah blah, blah. 652 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:28,120 I had to tell him not to and it's like, that's so annoying, 653 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,120 but it's like, we're not mind readers and it. 654 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:34,200 Goes back to the you already had a fantasy of how they should be 655 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,800 and then the next time they will do that. 656 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,120 If you do tell them so. Tell your people that you're 657 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,800 having sex with what you like and then you'll have good sex. 658 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:50,320 Maybe we should all truly have like user manuals where you like 659 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:54,680 Download this PDF. These are my tips and tricks. 660 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,680 These are my activation points. These are my no Nos. 661 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,720 Are you following this at all? I just the PDF thing sounds 662 00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,880 crazy but continue. Oh, I mean, that was the joke 663 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,600 part. But like, you know, like how it 664 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,240 shows like a remote in a manual, it shows the remote and it has 665 00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:11,680 like line. It's like avoid, you know, like 666 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:18,600 spend extra time light teeth, OK, don't pull like. 667 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,720 And then they can literally study and be like, oh, I'm gonna 668 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,680 like, right. I actually think I'm on to 669 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,440 something in this moment. You are, but I think some people 670 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:31,200 are so like stubborn and also unwilling and. 671 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,000 To look at a manual, well, actually a lot of people throw 672 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,720 out their instructions. Yeah. 673 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,400 And I yeah. And I think people just have 674 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:43,760 like some people are can't handle feedback. 675 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:48,080 That's that's and maybe what I'm trying to say is find the people 676 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:52,440 that can. If you can't kind of hear 677 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:56,840 somebody and and change, then that's not the person I want to 678 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,160 be with. Of course, of course. 679 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,720 I guess I was just giving. Maybe mine is more for the nerd 680 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,760 out there who wants to study before they take the exam. 681 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,280 Yeah. And the other way I think the 682 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:16,960 PDF is a great idea is also get your hours, get in there, get 683 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,800 those 10,000 hours clock. In, clock in and lock in. 684 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,400 That's how you get better. I mean, that's why like older 685 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:24,600 men. Oh my God. 686 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,880 Very, like, they kind of turn it out, you know what I mean? 687 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,480 It's like, 'cause they put in the work, yeah, they've gotten, 688 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,960 they've got 20 years on. You they yes, they also they 689 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,440 roll up their sleeves and they've seen it all, they've 690 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,680 done it all. They're like I'm a hit em with 691 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:39,680 this one. Right. 692 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,640 And they've kind of lost that ego, like the that ego. 693 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,360 They're just like, I'm here to have a good time. 694 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,840 I don't need to do all of this crazy stuff. 695 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,880 I remember. Did you ever have a moment when 696 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,720 you were like, in your earliest gay years where you did the 697 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:53,840 most? Yeah. 698 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,480 And. Performative 1000% over the top, 699 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,440 like yeah. And it's like, well, and. 700 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,080 I often find that that stuff is the stuff that I like the least. 701 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,640 Same. I have literally, well, that's 702 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,600 the other thing too, 'cause as I get older, I don't really 703 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:16,920 tolerate A subpar experience, especially if I'm only in it for 704 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:21,440 that experience. So it's like if I want a beach 705 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:26,480 and I coordinate with the person and they come over and it's like 706 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:31,240 at all kind of like big, performative, whatever. 707 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:35,360 And I have to give tons of notes and like I like lose interest 708 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,040 pretty fast, which is actually it sounds really close minded 709 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:43,960 and like bitter, but like, yeah, doing the most. 710 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,680 I think there's that's totally normal. 711 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:46,680 Yeah. I guess it's like, why would you 712 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:51,160 want to continue? I had a guy, not recently, but 713 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:56,760 maybe a year ago, like really like, and I was like, first of 714 00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:01,760 all, I'm fine, but I'm not like, yeah, I'm not like causing 715 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:06,120 anyone kind of strife, like. And he was just like, it felt 716 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,200 like he was doing it for me. And in reality, I was like, oh, 717 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:14,280 like, no, like, let's just connect for a second. 718 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,680 Totally. Sometimes when it's when it's 719 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:23,160 that the like kind of I'm gonna jam this thing somewhere that 720 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,320 like there isn't room for it. I'm like, you're doing that for 721 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:27,840 you. Actually, you're not doing that 722 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,320 for me Cuz there's like if you just thought for two seconds, 723 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:35,760 like does this feel good? It No, no, you're trying to make 724 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:39,200 it fit in a place that it just doesn't. 725 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,080 Fit. Hilarious. 726 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,520 Yeah. OK, let's see. 727 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:50,200 I guess we could play a what? I'm just feel like I'm never 728 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,920 mind continue. What are you gonna say? 729 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,840 That I'm like, so no, never mind. 730 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,160 What are we gonna say? Nothing. 731 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,080 Nothing. Continue. 732 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,520 Yeah, well, it was in a fully formed thought, so. 733 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:05,800 OK, OK. You know, I get a lot. 734 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,280 So you're bored. Today, Pregnant boy, Pregnant 735 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,960 boy. Maybe that's episode titled 736 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:15,680 Pregnant Boy. I guess we'll play a quick round 737 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,720 of hot or not and then we can wind down. 738 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,640 This is where of course I list things and you tell me if you 739 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:27,520 find them hot or not. OK, let's say threesomes and or 740 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:33,360 group. You're coming from a much more 741 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,760 maternal, I know. Mature. 742 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,360 I'm gonna say threesomes. Hot group. 743 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,600 Not OK. I'm more yeah, I like as I like. 744 00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,720 Smaller a contained. Yeah, I will say yeah, it's. 745 00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:50,960 Overwhelming and I'm recently coming to the fact that I have 746 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,840 ADHD. It's too much going on. 747 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,680 Sure, yeah. Do you find yourself in your 748 00:42:55,680 --> 00:43:01,800 head or just like just? Truly overwhelmed and with I 749 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,760 feel like I'm hyper aware of like social dynamics and 750 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,080 totally. All of that is everyone okay is. 751 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,240 Everybody doing. Does everybody feel included 752 00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,360 like I know? And what are the odds you want 753 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,680 guy #3 to do the things to you that Guy number one is doing to 754 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:17,440 you? And you're like, wait, wait, 755 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,320 wait, wait. Yeah, he can do that. 756 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:24,600 I'd prefer you didn't do that. Yeah, yeah, and I would say that 757 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,920 I do think threesomes can be hot, but I think the hottest is 758 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:33,640 kind of a one-on-one situation. Yeah, but you know, maybe it's 759 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,080 because the grass is always greener and I'm like so single 760 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,720 right now that I'm like, oh, this haven't going back to. 761 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,520 One, I just want one right now. I do think again, when 762 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:46,200 communication comes into play, it's like, I often would guess 763 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:49,640 star in threesomes, but like the more communication the better. 764 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,560 I always ask guys like, what's the dynamic? 765 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:56,600 Like, Oh yeah, you come over and we both pal him or like you come 766 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,400 over and we both blow you. You know what I mean? 767 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,160 It's like, you know what else I'm going to say is annoying 768 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,280 When I do lay down parameters and like things I'm liking, 769 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:10,800 wanting and expecting and they try to renegotiate in the room. 770 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,400 I'm like I said, I didn't want to do that. 771 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:17,680 And then like guys be trying. Yeah. 772 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,840 OK, let's say. Guys be trying a lot of crazy 773 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,240 things. I mean, it's like that wasn't on 774 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,920 the mood board. Totally. 775 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:30,240 Yeah. You send them an Etsy page. 776 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,560 No, not Etsy. What was the What's Pinterest? 777 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:41,120 Yeah, sex in a long term relationship. 778 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,760 Hot really Well. Do you think it gets better for 779 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,480 you the longer you're in a relationship? 780 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:53,600 I know it gets different. I that's so hard. 781 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,320 I meant more like hot because if you're having sex in a long term 782 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,720 relationship, like you're doing the work, you're like figuring 783 00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:06,640 it out and you're figuring out how to make it like special when 784 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:11,920 you, you know, having sex. And I, I hope that along the the 785 00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,360 way you like grow this like intense bond. 786 00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:18,080 And yeah, and it's kind of circling back to the first point 787 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,720 of like having so much love and that being hot. 788 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:24,360 See, I've said this before too. My whole thing does become 789 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,040 there's a point where intimacy clicks over for me and feels 790 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:34,920 familial, and that's where I struggle to bring sex into the 791 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:39,160 equation. I'm like, I know everything 792 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:44,400 about them and I like I'm there for them when they cry. 793 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:48,280 I like, I don't know, I've cleaned up bad for them when 794 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,640 they got sick. And I'm like the idea of like, 795 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:55,400 wanting to engage with their genitalia as that gets deeper 796 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,560 and maybe more beautiful, the less I think about, I don't 797 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,120 know, having sex with them. Totally. 798 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:02,760 And I think that's totally normal. 799 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:08,560 And I agree with you that it it gets harder to kind of find 800 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,480 that. But if you somehow can find it, 801 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:15,280 then that's hot. But let's not like kid anybody 802 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:18,840 that it doesn't get tougher as sure deeper and deeper in. 803 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:24,880 Maybe you start pranking each other and then hooking up if you 804 00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:31,520 survive the prank right, this is like probably not going to align 805 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,480 with how you are now either, but cruising. 806 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:47,440 It's the fantasy is hot, but the reality, it's like I want too 807 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:50,160 much control. I want to know who it is, what 808 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:54,360 they look like. I'm just like having the like 809 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,520 person and having no control of like what it's going to do. 810 00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,840 Well, to be clear, cruising can range too, from you're at Runyon 811 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,400 walking by yourself. You pass a guy, you both, you 812 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:08,920 both turn around and look. You come back, you say hi, and 813 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,720 then you like start making out. Yeah, I like that because that 814 00:47:12,720 --> 00:47:16,560 also feels like a surprise rather than like going to like 815 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,760 a. A dark park. 816 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:23,880 Yes, with the intent of like or like a like a spa or something 817 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,080 like, you know? Cold really. 818 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,440 Although spa, I do find myself at spa situations being a little 819 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:38,160 in my head about looking and like how it's going on a lot, 820 00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,000 you know what I mean? Like on a hike or something. 821 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,720 It's a little bit more isolated. It's a little more fish out of 822 00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:44,760 water. In a spa. 823 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:48,880 You're like, yeah, I see 4 Dicks right now and that one's kind of 824 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,120 plump and like is he looking at me? 825 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:55,080 And it's like, do I follow him? It's like a lot of moving 826 00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,080 pieces. Totally. 827 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,000 I think you answered this in the last one, but come. 828 00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:06,520 Neutral. OK, I feel your face. 829 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:10,160 Kind of scrunched up. No, I feel. 830 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:15,120 It's unnecessary evil. Yeah, and I like, I do like when 831 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:21,320 my partner like comes that there's like a nice woo about 832 00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,360 it. High 5, high five. 833 00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:26,360 OK, I what? If it was like confetti that 834 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,400 came out. Incredible, incredible. 835 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,360 I have a friend. Messed up on that one. 836 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,840 Hates cum even like his own. He's like very like grossed out 837 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:38,440 by it. He's like, if I could come air I 838 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:43,120 would like but OK, confetti would be cool. 839 00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,440 And also like if you could control the flavour where it's 840 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,720 like I took my birthday cake pill. 841 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:52,600 Well, well, gosh, I really just brag on your podcast. 842 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,880 Your cum tastes good. That's that's something that I 843 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,040 get quite often because I. Have I've gotten it a couple 844 00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,440 times too. I have good tasting cum but is 845 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:02,720 that? But are people lying to you like 846 00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:03,560 that's? No, I don't think. 847 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,120 I don't think anyone would. That's a weird thing to lie 848 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,760 about. If anything I think cum taste is 849 00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,920 kind of like grin and bear it. And if I ever say it to a guy, 850 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:15,960 I'm like, here comes not bad. Yes, it's like AI. 851 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:22,320 It's neutral or yeah, one guy blew in my early to mid 20s and 852 00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,920 it was kind of sweet. And it could be that I just was 853 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,240 like really attracted to him. No, no, no, that's, that's like 854 00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:33,000 a, that's like a, you taste it and you're like, oh, no, like 855 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,880 you need to drink more water or like less creatine or like 856 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,120 something. But yeah, that's interesting. 857 00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:41,480 Do you know, do you eat a lot of red meat? 858 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,720 I eat some. OK, I've heard red meat really 859 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:48,960 sours jizz. So does cigarettes. 860 00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,880 Oh, I don't smoke so. Good for you. 861 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,120 Yeah. And the last thing on the pod is 862 00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:59,120 what some advice you give to, I guess just even yourself five 863 00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:04,080 years ago maybe, or maybe advice to future Jake. 864 00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:10,640 Oh, oh, you know, for future Jake, something that we kind of 865 00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:22,240 talked about earlier off the pod was I would say that when like 866 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:28,800 going, when you meet someone, have like an abundance mindset 867 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:33,720 rather than or like this. Yeah, like, oh, this could be my 868 00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:36,200 only person. Am I going to get chosen like 869 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,360 this person has to choose me or if not then like oh. 870 00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,320 They're not looking at me. I'm wilting. 871 00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:46,440 Yeah, I think moving forward, I really want to bring this like 872 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:54,160 like almost like the serenity of like if this if me and this 873 00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,920 person connect like I can just yeah, cool. 874 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:02,000 Like I can just let it be in that present moment without 875 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,520 having to futurecast of what trying to control the outcome of 876 00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:09,440 what it's. Going to God and replaying every 877 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:13,520 like date or interaction or like what did he mean by or is it 878 00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,320 weird that we didn't make out this time at the door or. 879 00:51:16,720 --> 00:51:19,920 And I wish I could bring that back, like both for my future me 880 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,920 and I wish I could have told that to me when I was 20, you 881 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,600 know? Like you're gonna be OK. 882 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,360 Right, like this person and it's that it has nothing to do with 883 00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:32,360 them and has everything to do with me and wanting to feel 884 00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:35,720 love, chosen, special, all of those things. 885 00:51:35,720 --> 00:51:40,400 And like this is so cheesy, but like you got all of that inside. 886 00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,880 Like you don't need it from this person. 887 00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,480 You got it in there. I would like to say the same to 888 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:51,240 my Celsius can I don't need you, you're cool, but I actually have 889 00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:53,360 all the energy I need inside me. Absolutely. 890 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:58,000 It's like that the God sized hole looking for completion in a 891 00:51:58,000 --> 00:51:59,440 person, place or thing. Totally. 892 00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,800 And you're just like, no. You're fine, Yeah. 893 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,560 You're fine, Yeah. You will be with this guy. 894 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:09,160 You will be without this guy. That's great. 895 00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,320 Yeah. I hope you find your lesbian 896 00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:12,720 lover. I do too. 897 00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:17,240 And I just want to be clear that I'm still with my first podcast. 898 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,360 I'm still into big butts that oh. 899 00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,720 Good big inconsistent. They do see dumps. 900 00:52:21,720 --> 00:52:23,680 Yeah, dump trucks. Yeah, dumps. 901 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,920 Sorry you get the wrong kind of DMS OK. 902 00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:29,360 And then you can tell the tower problems where to find. 903 00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,600 Love and support you if you want to be found. 904 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,160 Yeah. But it's hard because you're on. 905 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,400 And off and kind of, you know, off off social media. 906 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:40,880 A lot of times you can find me on Instagram at Jake Hart, but a 907 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,560 lot of times I don't have Instagram. 908 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,200 So you'll just have to find me in real life. 909 00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:48,200 To the east side of Los Angeles. You stalk me, I guess. 910 00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,320 Look around. Yeah. 911 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,200 All right, thank you so much for doing this. 912 00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:54,760 Love you as always. I love you. 913 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,560 And come see me on the road, I'm probably touring to a city near 914 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,720 you. And until next time, keep 915 00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:03,000 sucking and fucking. Yay. 916 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,840 Hello, Tower Bottoms. It's me, your host, Zach Newey. 917 00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,600 Towers, thank you so much for listening to Good Side Pod. 918 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,720 If you haven't already, give it a five star rating. 919 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,520 Leave a review, share it with a friend, get the word out. 920 00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:19,720 I love you so much.