1 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:27,600 Jason Hazard, everyone. OK, let's give you a fantastic 2 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,320 intro because I've been scolded by my listeners before. 3 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,880 You're a writer, director. What are some other titles you 4 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,280 would give yourself? Oh my gosh. 5 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:41,720 Well, so many titles I've had in my in my life, but also in my 6 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,040 career in Hollywood. So when I first moved out here, 7 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:48,160 I started as a publicist, but I was always like writing and 8 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:52,840 doing my own things, so worked as an assistant in publicity in 9 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,000 the early 2000. Tens, did you have? 10 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,280 Interest in that? Or was that just like I have to 11 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:01,200 do something? I just, I'm, I'm from the 12 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:06,000 Midwest, like I went to school out East in Boston and like the 13 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:12,400 idea of being in Hollywood as a writer, as an actor, a director, 14 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,640 whatever, just seemed no one I knew did that those things. 15 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,640 It would seemed like a total fairy tale weirdo thing like not 16 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:24,080 possible. But since I had my degrees in 17 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,720 psychology and communications and had interned with different 18 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,840 PR places, including NBC Universal in the PR department, 19 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,360 I start reading scripts and I was always a writer and always a 20 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,400 creative. And I was like, Oh, this is and 21 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,840 obsessed with TV and film. So I was like, this is, this is 22 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,960 what I need to do. I can do this. 23 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,640 I know how to do. This oh this is like a path. 24 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:51,440 Yeah, and so, but I need to make money and and live and so. 25 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:52,840 Damn. Right. 26 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,760 So, so yeah, I started, I just kind of fell into the whole PR 27 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,160 and marketing side of things, kept writing and it was like, 28 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,880 oh, this will open doors one way or another in connection. 29 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,400 You'll be in the rooms, you'll meet the people. 30 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,240 But you're in the rooms as a publicist, as a marketer. 31 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:15,400 So honey, if you're not doing what you want to do, then it's 32 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,680 not like. Not. 33 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,560 Helpful. It's not helpful so. 34 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,720 Also P Rs like at the end of the creative process, kind of it's 35 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,600 like or it's the last leg. Right. 36 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,480 And it's really nice when you're doing PR for something or 37 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,640 someone that you believe in and that you're passionate about 38 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,960 because it's just talking up your friends. 39 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,880 Like I, I can do PR for you all day. 40 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,600 Like I do like, you know, like whatever it's like you're into, 41 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:44,640 it's really demoralizing to sell something that you don't believe 42 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,520 in. Damn it's horrible. 43 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,440 So I, I'm hiring PR for my stand up thing. 44 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,800 And she used the phrase she's like, I'm not an ambulance 45 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,240 chaser. And now I take that to mean 46 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:01,880 she's not just accepting money from people to put her name on. 47 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,680 That's right. Like she's only gonna she. 48 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,400 I guess it's a luxury too, at a certain level where you can say 49 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,000 no and be like, I'm only working with boop, boop, boop. 50 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:11,360 Right. Yeah. 51 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:17,760 And, and even then, I mean like the I was my boss NPR that I 52 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,560 first started with is amazing, like legendary. 53 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,320 I actually feel like I left her too soon because I should have 54 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:29,760 stayed with her longer. But you know, my first, like, 55 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,760 campaigns that I was working on under her were like the Oscar 56 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,160 awards campaigns for like, The Social Network, for like, 57 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,760 Midnight in Paris. So I was like, in a room 58 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,680 watching, like, I saw Midnight in Paris like 20 times. 59 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,400 Like I'd be in a room with like, Adrian Brody and me watching it 60 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,360 together. Oh my gosh. 61 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,800 Yeah, 'cause you need to get. Like a full quote from. 62 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:50,760 Really. No. 63 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,400 Just because they were like, yeah, we to get his like, kind 64 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,680 of reactions afterwards. And then we could 'cause we 65 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:00,320 represented Marty, like, so we represented Woody Allen. 66 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,680 Problematic. Right. 67 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:05,240 Yeah, obviously. So like, OK, right? 68 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,280 But like, you know, at the time, like this is kind of like, I 69 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,880 guess he was you. You knew, but. 70 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,080 You didn't fully know. Yeah, this was like before me 71 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,000 too. Everything. 72 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,560 He was still married to Sue Jin or whatever her name is. 73 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:24,640 But like, yeah, like, that was so cool to, like, to work on 74 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,240 those films. Like, you know, we had Scorsese, 75 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,280 David Fincher. That was like the social network 76 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:36,200 came in and and yeah, that was amazing. 77 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,360 But now, like so many of the people even at that firm who, 78 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,520 you know, represented, like major celebrities or major 79 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,520 studios, I mean, people represented, if you're in this 80 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,720 industry and you're a publicist, you represent the Weinsteins. 81 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,640 Sure. Scott Rudin. 82 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,520 Yeah. You know all these people who. 83 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,520 Checkered path. Totally more than checkered. 84 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,520 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, were doing 85 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,840 terrible things and and your job was to make those things go 86 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,240 away. Oh my God. 87 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,480 Right. So you're and and also your life 88 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,600 is never your own. You're subservient to whomever 89 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,520 is paying you. And like, all time, all hours of 90 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,760 the day, all access. Yeah, your Christmas is so 91 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,600 fucking ruined if like your client like. 92 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:23,480 Steps in it. It's. 93 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,280 A DUI or like, you know, does something terrible. 94 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,520 You've no control over it. But honey. 95 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,440 It's your job to sweep up the mess. 96 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,960 And so, yeah, I was like, I kept writing. 97 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:41,040 I don't know how I like was able to do it all, but I did. 98 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:48,240 And as my like level of content and happiness in my professional 99 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:52,920 life was like, because I'm like, I can't see how this is going to 100 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,400 be my future. And everyone I know in this 101 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:59,000 business is like overworked, overwhelmed, stressed and angry. 102 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,040 And I'm like. Not me. 103 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,400 Not for me. Yeah, not. 104 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,280 For long and I was like, OK, well, I want to like work with 105 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,000 publicist one day, but I want to create my own things. 106 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,880 So that that led to stepping out and, and doing my own thing and 107 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:16,560 kind of like finally getting some representation and, and 108 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,280 then it's still just like the craziest, you know, uphill 109 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,960 battles to do anything. For my life. 110 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,040 Anything. And I think that's everyone, 111 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,920 everywhere all at once. It is. 112 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:33,320 It's just like part of the part of the the hustle that you're 113 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:37,360 constantly doing your own PR, You're constantly like reaching 114 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,800 out, you're constantly getting your name out there, getting 115 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,440 your face out there. And I think success comes to 116 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:48,080 those who do continue to just show up and put themselves out 117 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,440 there. Yes, yeah. 118 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,840 You just have to keep going and and and not really give up. 119 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:56,400 And it's funny. So Zach and I really met because 120 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,440 we worked on my first short film together. 121 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,280 So Zach was Zach played the most deliciously like villainous 122 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:05,480 neoliberal. Gay. 123 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:06,360 Yeah. Yeah. 124 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:11,600 And like, and that was with Steph Tolov and Toliver. 125 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:16,600 So crazy about yes as. Steph was like the lead. 126 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,360 Yeah, yeah. Wow. 127 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,280 And I have the funniest story about that because which kind of 128 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,240 like can help wrap up this conversation about like, you 129 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,640 know, how we met and what I, what I'm doing now. 130 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,240 Yeah. But like we'd won. 131 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,400 Like first of all, when you make a short film, I I'm always like 132 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:32,760 I. Don't know. 133 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,440 Yeah, tell this. Was my first podcast ever. 134 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,360 Yeah. Oh my. 135 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:37,880 God, we're going to talk about. Sex. 136 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,040 I know, I know, I know be. Gentle to my. 137 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,760 First time. I. 138 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,560 Will not, so will not, but like. Yeah, you can. 139 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,080 Totally. I tell them I talk to. 140 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,840 Them all the time. I'm like, I'm like, do I turn? 141 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,400 What are my ankles? Do I show whole? 142 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:57,080 Yeah, like full Bush. Yes but but when you make a 143 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:01,720 short film and you and you're pulling funds that are your own 144 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:05,160 and now you have no funds but negative. 145 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:09,320 Funds. Negative funds, but after you've 146 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:15,080 made the short and like put it out there, you can submit it to 147 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,280 festivals, right? Which costs more funds? 148 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:21,440 So much money that like. And there's also PR for doing. 149 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,880 Festival circuits, which is and, and as a former publicist, I'm 150 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,480 like, oh, I can do XY and Z. Like, you know, I was able to 151 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,520 like get it out to to some places or whatever, but but my 152 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,919 directing partner on that, Ben Simkins and I only really 153 00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:40,080 submitted to like festivals that were free submission. 154 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,240 Or yeah, yeah, yeah. Or have waivers, right? 155 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,760 I learned early on you got to ask for a waiver if you're 156 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,120 right, if you're feeling frisky. Exactly. 157 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:52,440 And we ended up winning the San Francisco Short Film Festival. 158 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,680 Crazy, which is like the only thing that we even applied to. 159 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,080 Great. And and I'm on this panel for 160 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,200 it. It's like kind of a little still 161 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,960 post COVID enough where everything's like non person. 162 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,800 It was online. It was. 163 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,240 Good for me because I have no money to travel. 164 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,960 So I was like OK, great. Well anyway, I met with this 165 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:16,120 woman who had also been a finalist and she like loved it 166 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,120 so. So I wrote a series called The 167 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,640 Sad Stones about the whole family. 168 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:27,760 And we'd talked on the phone and then like, I was like, here's 169 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,600 the, here's the series based off this short that you liked so 170 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,960 much, which was like more of like an inciting incident about, 171 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,880 you know, 'cause like Steph's character ends up. 172 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,960 Is it a boiling? Point right right. 173 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:44,920 So then the rest of her terrible family now is at her mercy. 174 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,000 Great to keep living the life that they want, but it's very 175 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,400 like shit's Creek, Arrested Development, kind of like tone 176 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:55,360 and whatever. So 3 1/2 years later, literally 177 00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:01,400 last December at Christmas, so like four months ago, this woman 178 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,120 responds to my e-mail that I'd sent her that script and she's 179 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,880 like, I just read it. It's so amazing. 3 1/2. 180 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,600 Years later, 3 1/2 years later, that's crazy. 181 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,280 I'd almost like forgotten about this script. 182 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:15,400 Of course she's like, I'm going to send it to Andrew and I'm 183 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:19,640 like, bitch with Andrew. I'm like, I'm like, but I'm so 184 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,360 flattered. I'm so like, it's so nice to 185 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:25,480 like get any sort of validation. And this woman lives in Canada 186 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,320 and she's amazing. She has like really great taste 187 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,760 and like works with some pretty amazing Canadian folks. 188 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,280 She's like, oh, Andrew, so and so. 189 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,680 Garfield. Barnsley, OH. 190 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,920 He's the executive producer of Schitt's Creek. 191 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:43,240 Oh my God. And she's like, I'm sending it 192 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,920 to him, I'm putting you on e-mail, blah, blah, blah, blah, 193 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,320 blah. So I've been emailing with him. 194 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,680 You're in the project, obviously. 195 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:51,800 Oh. Yeah, my life. 196 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:52,920 That's so funny. But. 197 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:59,360 He's like, he's like, this is amazing, but we can't take IP 198 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,320 that's not Canadian or made by a Canadian. 199 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,240 I'm like Steph is from Canada, but like, like, you know, put 200 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,320 her. Name on it and. 201 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:11,080 Let's go so so that project has legs, if anyone out there 202 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,200 watching that. Work. 203 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,280 Would you literally have to sign it over to like someone else 204 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,960 like? They, they, they won't make it 205 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,400 'cause like they did like Shits Creek or like there's these 206 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,760 Canadian production companies like Crave, which is unheated 207 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:29,200 library and whatever they, they get their tax break, their 208 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,960 Canadian tax breaks like their ability to really make 209 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,320 affordable. That's this 75% Canadian or 210 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,680 something? Yes, and that means it's like 211 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,840 owned by Canadians cause like, where is Schitt's Creek located? 212 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,760 It's like nebulous, like town, right? 213 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,200 Like it doesn't totally exist, but it's totally in America. 214 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:48,960 You think? Totally. 215 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,080 'Cause it was. Interesting they were totally 216 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,720 living in LA and New York and stuff like. 217 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,840 That yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, they're like, like, 218 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,560 you know, it never snowed on the show, did it? 219 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,840 It didn't, No. It's like. 220 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,840 Wow, you're really kind of freaking me out a little bit 221 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,440 because I I didn't. Realize that I know, and I I 222 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,640 mean, who doesn't wish they were Canadian right now, OK? 223 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,640 That's brilliant. I am sending all the positive 224 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,720 vibes your way and it's like you said, you mentioned a second 225 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,360 ago, it's just nice to get that like you're going in the right 226 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,400 direction. Yeah, and and also. 227 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,320 Have value. And you have to like you have to 228 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,680 keep creating after the things that you make and setting it up. 229 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:34,920 But but also like, yeah, like people will follow up and it is 230 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,440 worth it to to just keep going, yes. 231 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,640 So I've tried to switch on like, oh, I'm just a creator. 232 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,640 I create. Everything else is out of my 233 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,760 hands. Now let's talk about you. 234 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,400 You said you were up in the Midwest. 235 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:55,840 How do you remember the first things that you found sexy or 236 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:00,480 sexual or like your first Have you you're gay, gay and have 237 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,200 you? How long have you known? 238 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:08,360 Like, take us way back. So I was born in Indiana and I 239 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:14,400 lived in Indiana until 4th grade. 240 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:23,640 But I always like didn't know what gay was, you know, like I'm 241 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,880 a millennial. I was born in 88. 242 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:32,160 I graduated high school in O 6 and but I was always attracted 243 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,400 to boys. Like I had crushes on boys. 244 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:39,800 I knew who I thought was cute. Any early celebrity crushes? 245 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:47,440 Well, I was a huge Buffy fan. Oh yeah, and Angel for me. 246 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,560 Dan. I loved how Spike dressed. 247 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,320 I loved Spike attitude. Yes, but you wanted to get 248 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,960 pounded by. Oh yeah. 249 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,280 Yes, absolutely, Buffy. I swear to God Buffy had like a 250 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,280 military boyfriend at some point. 251 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,200 That way, yeah, her first year in college. 252 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,880 Yes, he he was in he was in the fantasy. 253 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,880 Yeah. Fantasy workshop. 254 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:07,600 Yeah. Riley. 255 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,840 Yep, Yep. And on a on a on a dry day, 256 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,400 Xander, you can get in here too. RIP. 257 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,800 Yeah. Oh my God, you're right. 258 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,240 I know. Like days ago. 259 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,840 Nicholas, Brendan. Damn. 260 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,120 But yeah, Xander, like they're all, they're all welcome. 261 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,160 And Seth, back in the day, ounces. 262 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,800 Yes. I love a little ginger. 263 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,760 I never had any fantasy about Seth Green. 264 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,240 No, for I mean, I like, I like tall dark, and actually I don't 265 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,600 even care about tall. I like dark and. 266 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,600 Hansen yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. 267 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,120 Like. Angel was like definitely a 268 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,440 little bit more my cup of tea. The muscle ease. 269 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,840 Yes, yeah. I'd want to go party with with 270 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,040 Spike. Oh my God, I probably wouldn't 271 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,520 survive partying with Spike but because he seems like a heroin 272 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,120 guy, no. Maybe. 273 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,120 Maybe. Or meth? 274 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,400 What is his part? What's Spike's party drug? 275 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,080 Or is he just like doing coke and stuff? 276 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:04,000 Well, they were definitely like in a flashback, like in China 277 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,400 during the Boxer Rebellion and. Opium. 278 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,000 Or something. Do you think some opium might 279 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,520 have been involved? You're right. 280 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,160 Opium is a pin to heroin. Me neither, I haven't done that. 281 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,560 Did you ever see the show The Nick? 282 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,800 It was like it was a turn of the century hospital and they were 283 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,960 doing like experimental like procedures. 284 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,720 But the main doctor played by I think Clive Owen, he's like 285 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,480 addicted to opium and he's like in between surgeries. 286 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,320 He's like in this, like opium done and just like, was it like 287 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:31,920 a? Gritty. 288 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,800 Was it like on like an FX or HBO or something? 289 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,840 So it was something good. It was FX, I believe. 290 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,400 Yeah, it was like, and Clive Owen is I Clive Owen can get it. 291 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,200 Oh, you should. Learn of men. 292 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,040 Yes, you. You honestly really should. 293 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,600 I think you only got two seasons. 294 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:50,440 It is so like dark and like. Oh, OK. 295 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,200 Yeah, I trust FX. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 296 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,600 I mean that that show was that show was so good, but I used to 297 00:15:55,600 --> 00:16:02,760 tape episodes of Buffy to give them to this girl in my third. 298 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,240 What? No, she was in my 4th grade 299 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,200 class. Maya and Emma's Kozlowski and my 300 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,960 mom thought I had a crush on her. 301 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,320 Will she mind that you said her full name? 302 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:18,440 I no OK, I don't even know if that's still her name. 303 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:23,640 Anyway, she was awesome. I used to tape Buffy for her and 304 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,400 bring her the VHS. So my mom's like, oh, you have a 305 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,440 little crush on this girl? And like, no, we're Alan. 306 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,680 I was like. No, I have a crush on Angel. 307 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:35,760 Can we talk about Buffy was on like Channel 11 or like WB WB? 308 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,280 So wait, why were you taping it? She didn't have access to WBI. 309 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,880 Don't think she was allowed to. Her parents don't let her watch 310 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,360 it. Oh, my God. 311 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,680 It was the Underground Railroad of YA, Ewing. 312 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,880 I got you. I got you, girl. 313 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,120 Yeah. OK, wait. 314 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,080 OK, so. And is the the dark and handsome 315 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,800 thing still a thing in your life? 316 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:56,920 Absolutely. OK. 317 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,200 And do you think it's that at all? 318 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,800 Because you're like fair skinned light eyes? 319 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:07,079 Maybe I like, hate, hated myself for such a long time. 320 00:17:07,839 --> 00:17:11,440 Like in. Yeah, like. 321 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,040 Roughly from what age to what age? 322 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,440 4th grade after I moved from Indiana from Indiana to 323 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,720 Minnesota. Were people mean to in 4th grade 324 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,760 or was that? Well, like, so I that's like 325 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,280 right when you're kind of boys and girls are changing a lot 326 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,960 more and so like everyone's like, oh, you sound like a girl 327 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,200 and you're a faggot. Were you tall? 328 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,880 I've always been tall. How? 329 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,520 Tall are you right now? 65. 330 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:40,800 And are you still growing? I mean, I think actually I, I 331 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,120 had this conversation with someone the other day because I 332 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:47,960 do think that I've grown a little since I, since I, since 333 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,200 I've been in my 30s, I, I weirdly do. 334 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,480 I don't. I don't think you should be 335 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,760 allowed to be over 6 feet until you're 30. 336 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,640 I think that should be reserved. I I I agree. 337 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,360 I don't need a 19 year old who's 65. 338 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,000 That's scare. That's like when they first get 339 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,240 into the Avatar body and they're like, because I was definitely 340 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,360 like. 6/4 in high school and now 65. 341 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,840 Too tall. OK wait wait, so in 4th grade 342 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:21,800 were you tall and Sissy? Yes, yeah, I mean, I, I think I 343 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,000 was like tall, relatively speaking. 344 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,560 It just my, my, my family's all big. 345 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,440 Like, we're all like big people, like. 346 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,880 Tall. Who's the smallest? 347 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,680 Well, like my mom, but she's like 5-10 or 511. 348 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,520 Oh my God, bigger than me. So that's like tall for a for. 349 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:39,640 A girl, Yeah. Yeah. 350 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,280 Tall for tall for a lot of guys. My dad is 6, two or 63. 351 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,720 Whoa, do you have siblings? My my older brother is bigger 352 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,160 than me. He's like 6 five and a half 353 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,000 maybe. Wow. 354 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,920 I like bigger, like stronger. Does your family get along? 355 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:57,560 Yeah, we do now. Oh. 356 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,120 We do now, Yeah. We don't have to talk about it. 357 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,480 OK, well, my, yeah. And my, well, we're all my 358 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,320 brothers and I, and I have a little brother. 359 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,320 You're in the middle and he's the shortest, so I think he's 360 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,440 only like 6/4. Stop. 361 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,120 That is so shady. I know I. 362 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:17,560 Know you're the only gay one to your knowledge. 363 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yes. 364 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,920 The only gay one. OK, period. 365 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,560 Well, stop. It's very noticeable, like it's. 366 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,920 It's so funny too, but you're doing like kind of like trucker 367 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,280 core like this outfit you. Girl, this is like is that? 368 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:36,320 Lipstick, but it's like the hat's a little destroyed. 369 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:40,240 Totally the cut off shirt. You know, like the the overgrown 370 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:43,280 beard. This is from there's this 371 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,800 cabaret down the street at Plaza Dance Bar called Apocalyptic 372 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:51,080 Cabaret Plaza is I think it's on the back of this if you can. 373 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,800 I'll look at you assuming the position. 374 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,600 I know. Apocalyptic. 375 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,040 OK so wait, I just went to Plaza for a drag show. 376 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:58,560 Did. You love it. 377 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,080 Yes, and a girl did like a Peacock. 378 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,800 Did you do you know this like Peacock and it goes up to the 379 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,880 ceiling and it like took a full like. 380 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,680 You have to come to the next cabaret. 381 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,960 OK. Is it all sorts of different 382 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,520 performers or is it all drag still? 383 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,840 You'll it's, yeah, all different types of performers. 384 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,360 It's hosted by Aster Yang. OK, Katya will come do numbers 385 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:23,160 sometime. Oh my. 386 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,720 God. Dancing, singing. 387 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,440 The sound system in there is so bad, we really need to get it 388 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,480 fixed. If anyone out there. 389 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:35,200 Steve, I know you're listening. What's OK, So Plaza Steve, come 390 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:40,960 on, is on La Brea, just north of Melrose by Pink's Hot Dogs. 391 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,400 That's right. For those who want to check it 392 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,600 out, it is a time warp. When you walk in there, it's 393 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,080 iconic and a location warp. Yes. 394 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,480 You do not feel like you are in basically West Hollywood, CA. 395 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,080 You feel like you're in a different. 396 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,080 State such country because we're also like in a Hasidic 397 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,880 neighborhood at Orthodox Jewish neighborhood there too. 398 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,440 And so it it's the juxtaposition of everything that's going on is 399 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:11,560 culturally super fascinating. And Plaza is a Latin X like 400 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,880 trans drag. Bar. 401 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,120 OK, Thank you. Yes, I thought so. 402 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,680 Yes. It's giving Latin America your 403 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,800 instincts were correct. It's like it's like Chicano 404 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,920 cowboy culture, but like they're all there like to watch like 405 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,840 trans presenting or people with that trans experience drag 406 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,680 performance. It's it's really. 407 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,520 And I know it's not this but in my head it's like picnic tables 408 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,760 with like picnic. It tablecloth. 409 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Sarah Bucky. 410 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,200 Sarah Yeah, but like, but then like, multicolor twinkle lights 411 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,560 are all around and stuff. Total vibe. 412 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,600 Yeah, it. I had a great time. 413 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:54,040 It's fun, yes. OK, so can you remember your 414 00:21:54,040 --> 00:22:03,200 first like orgasm? OK, so I totally like used to 415 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,240 put my Dick in front of The Jets and like. 416 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,640 In the tub. Oh, in the tub, yeah 'cause like 417 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:13,560 my in my parents bathroom they had like a large tub that had 418 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:14,640 the. Jets, were you rich? 419 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,800 I think that we were like middle, like upper middle, upper 420 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,640 middle class. Comfortable. 421 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,400 Yeah. Your parents had like a two 422 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,680 person like like what was that called a Jacuzzi? 423 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,640 Like a. Like the master bedroom had, 424 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,640 like it's there was a shower and then there was the separate. 425 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,760 Yeah, and it had like four corners of like water flowing 426 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,600 into it and. Then my brothers and I all 427 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:37,920 shared a bathroom. Great. 428 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,800 And that was just like a normal shower tub stitch. 429 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,560 OK, so you'd stick your Dick like in the flow in the path? 430 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:47,440 I would put it in the path of it and was totally like pleasuring 431 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,520 myself like little like Sally Draper or whatever and like. 432 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,360 Which I am. Currently rewatching. 433 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,440 I never. Watch it. 434 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,160 It's amazing. It's on HBO Now. 435 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,640 It's amazing. You must watch. 436 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,800 What? You were talking about Mad Men. 437 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,520 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sally doesn't start doing that 438 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,480 until like season. 4 I feel like it's gonna be really slow. 439 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,080 Nope. It's not. 440 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,560 And the men are delicious. OK I just started watching Penny 441 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,840 Dreadful. Have you ever watched? 442 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,640 That Josh. Hartnett OK, there's some gay 443 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,640 stuff on one episode 4 and you got a little. 444 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,440 Bit watch it and evac Green too, right? 445 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I love them both. 446 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,520 Joshua Hartnett does some gay stuff. 447 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:27,040 But my dad walked in on me in the tub doing that once and also 448 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:32,400 I would this is so this is I guess our house in Indiana had 449 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,760 the same tub situation because I used to steal my best friend 450 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:42,120 Alex's little sister Chris does Barbie dolls. 451 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:45,920 OK to play with. Yes, and I would hide them in my 452 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:46,560 house. I was. 453 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,880 Like you turn from a house to another place to your from. 454 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,680 My house we're like neighbors down the street. 455 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,080 So anyway, and then I'd play with them and pretend they're 456 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,440 mermaids in the tub. And then I don't know when I 457 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:02,440 discovered this about the Dick and the Airstreams, but I loved 458 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,960 it and and my dad was like walked in on me once and was 459 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,800 like Oh my God. And he was like. 460 00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:14,080 He's like, that's so smart. I got no, he was like, he was 461 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:20,360 like, air can go up your peepee hole and it can flow through 462 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,920 your body. And make your. 463 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:28,640 Heart explode. Wait, wait, so I thought, and 464 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,160 then I was like. Well, I guess I'll just have to 465 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,960 be really careful not to get it by the hole. 466 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,120 You put a, you put a duck shape. Over the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 467 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:36,840 yeah, it's. Crazy though. 468 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,920 OK, it's. True. 469 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,400 Looking back now, what were your dad's intentions to scare you 470 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,000 into not doing that? Or did he actually think that 471 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,080 that was a thing? Because I know the air in a vein 472 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,400 can kill you. Obviously not the same. 473 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,240 Right. Or is it has a no I don't know. 474 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,720 I mean that whatever in legend time, right? 475 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,280 Like I mean. Even when he's set, like 476 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,440 thinking about it makes me want to like kind of like it. 477 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,720 Like like I'm not, I'm not into sounding. 478 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,480 I'm not into sounding. I love a lot of other stuff but 479 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,600 like. I know that hurt I pelvic floor 480 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:11,560 when I. Give a like. 481 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,320 For those of you don't know, sounding is when an erect penis 482 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,000 has a like pipe cleaner or something. 483 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,680 A metal rod, like a metal rod. Put you can feel. 484 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,680 It and feel it. In my soft Dick right now, I can 485 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,640 feel. It that's right, yes, you can 486 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:32,440 feel in your heart. OK, so it's so funny too when 487 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,080 you can feel your heartbeat in other places in your body, like 488 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,160 Oh yeah. I guess it's more like your 489 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:39,320 asshole. Yeah, I think that's what I 490 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,560 thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 491 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,800 I love. I love fingering holes and like 492 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,240 finger feeling their heartbeat. Pulse is running a little. 493 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,600 High. Cut back on those saturated 494 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,120 fats. Like yeah, taking some of the. 495 00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,440 Temperature. OK, so you were just like you 496 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,400 were just it caused you pause but obviously did not. 497 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,360 Oh, I kept going. OK. 498 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:59,560 Yeah, kept going with that. So that was probably like 499 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,960 probably like 4th. 4th grade was real pivotal for you, yeah. 500 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,040 It was, but I think that's like, you know, when you turn like 501 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,560 10-11, you start. Going the first couple hairs 502 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:15,400 sprouting. Did your brothers share any 503 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,400 knowledge about it? Would Evers on our solo journey? 504 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,600 We were like we were constantly fighting my brother's side. 505 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,920 Like at breakfast in the morning, we had to put the 506 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,760 cereal boxes between US and. Even then I was like, punch the 507 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,200 cereal box over, flip the spoon out of the bowl. 508 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,480 Yes, we would fight over everything. 509 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,720 I didn't want to do anything that they were doing. 510 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,920 So actually if if my dad wanted me to like stop masturbating, he 511 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,320 could have just told my brother. To. 512 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,680 To tell you, tell me how much he loved masturbating. 513 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:42,800 I'd be like, I'll never do it again. 514 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,480 Your first orgasm was after The Jets, or did were you coming in 515 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,160 the tub? No, I I didn't come in the tub. 516 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,960 I think I just felt it felt very pleasurable. 517 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,920 The Barbie was like sea monster. I'm trying to remember the first 518 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,760 time like I. Came. 519 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:06,280 Orgasm and I think when we moved I I was obsessive with TV, so 520 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,680 like. Like watching it, did you find 521 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,040 it to be an escape as a gay boy? My mom said ever since I was 522 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,280 like a baby that she was she would just. 523 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,600 Put you in front of the. TV like they were like, how do 524 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:20,480 you calm your children down? My mom's like the TV just for 525 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,640 for me really. So it was just TV and 526 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,920 imagination. Like I wasn't into like other 527 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,840 like things like I was like either playing in the woods and 528 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,560 like. I'm gonna steep. 529 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:35,200 Yeah. Casually playing in the woods. 530 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:35,880 It's. Crazy. 531 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:41,120 It's like Creek stomping or like or watching TV or reading or 532 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:44,080 something like it wasn't was never sports. 533 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,080 No. Even though I was actually a 534 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,880 swimmer and I swim in college. Well, that's one of the that 535 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,680 doesn't count, Yeah. Swimming or two of the gay ones. 536 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,200 Yeah, they are. And track in 3rd place. 537 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,560 Yeah, that's right. It's very country. 538 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,640 Don't touch me. I can be skinny. 539 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,040 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 540 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,560 It's a lone sport, sort of. That's right. 541 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:10,320 OK, so you were you didn't get any knowledge from your parents 542 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,880 or your brother. None. 543 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,480 You stumbled upon orgasms at some point. 544 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:20,840 Like I knew how a baby was made like, you know, insofar as like 545 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:23,400 a penis goes in a vagina and whatever and. 546 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,760 Squirts. Right. 547 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:29,000 But like, I mean, like, yeah, we, we were like, we're, we're 548 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,800 like a Nordic Midwestern family. Like we just did not talk about 549 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,080 that shit. Talk to me about what Nordic 550 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,320 means like you. Cold. 551 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:43,160 Oh, very OK. Very, Yeah. 552 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:43,960 Literal. OK. 553 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,080 Yeah. Like, yeah, like, like. 554 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,320 Oh yeah, stoic. Yeah. 555 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,160 Persevering. Yes. 556 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,760 Like unflinching, like we all loved each other, but like, we 557 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,960 weren't good about it. And it wasn't, Yeah, we were, we 558 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,400 weren't fags about it. No, but like, your mom's like 559 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,280 me. And it's so funny. 560 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,480 We we we say like, I love you all the like, I knew my parents 561 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,800 loved me. Like I knew my brothers loved 562 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,960 me. Like, you know, if the if 563 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:14,920 someone was maybe like that, they would maybe come to maybe 564 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,920 they want it back then. But like, I knew like. 565 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,680 You were OK. That was that I was OK. 566 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,120 You could talk to them, right, right people just. 567 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,360 Didn't we didn't talk a lot about feelings and stuff like 568 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,960 that. Interesting, so did anyone break 569 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,760 down and cry much? Me. 570 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,600 Look, you're right all the time. If no one's sobbing, it's you. 571 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,800 Well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 572 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,240 Because I would like, and I would come home from in the 573 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,160 early days, like pretty much like through middle school, like 574 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:49,120 I would like come home like crying because I went from 575 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,320 having like a hat like a lot like with friends and stuff. 576 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,440 And then you moved during spring break and then? 577 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,400 There's Oh my God. Then there's a faggot in your 578 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,440 class. Oh my God. 579 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:02,280 Who's tall and I'm talkative like I like, I participate, I 580 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,320 raise my hand and so. Even in that, even in that jump, 581 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,040 you were like. Yeah, I like, can't help it. 582 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,480 Oh, good. So. 583 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:13,160 So it was, you know, destabilizing. 584 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,880 Yeah. And, and kids were really cruel. 585 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,920 I mean like, you know, like bus, like being on the bus. 586 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,520 Was dynamic of. Course. 587 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,600 Nightmare and it's the morning and you're just. 588 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,920 Like in the afternoon, they they went both. 589 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:27,720 Ways. Wow. 590 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,320 So yeah, it was that was like a lot. 591 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,200 But we when we moved to Minnesota, I think the first 592 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,440 time I came was in Minnesota, like when I jizzed and that was 593 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:45,720 we had like our basement, it was like unfinished and we just had 594 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,200 like a little TV down there. Like there was a in front of 595 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:52,720 like the. Elliptical or a Nordic track? 596 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,680 Stop it. Stop it. 597 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,360 An unemotional track. Yeah, yeah. 598 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:04,000 Yeah, a cold track and I would watch it or like I'd go down 599 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,800 there like at night just cuz like no one was down in the 600 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,120 basement at night, like morning. So yeah. 601 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,280 And I'd be watching like Skinny Max. 602 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:12,440 Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 603 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,040 And there'd be like, the softcore stuff. 604 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,720 Oh yeah. And like, I gotta do something 605 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,920 about this and. And and Queer as Folk. 606 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,880 Oh my, I OK. My best friend back then was 607 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,160 not. Neither of us are gay, but we we 608 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,480 are both gay. We were never talking about it, 609 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,480 but we were always doing something like, oh, and let's 610 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,520 like run like Queer as Folk. It's supposed to be like, 611 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,000 actually pretty good. And you'd get so hot and 612 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,440 bothered in the mess. Yeah. 613 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,120 Watching it yet? So I'd be like touching myself. 614 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:40,800 And then I think, yeah, it's like just. 615 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,440 I was like, Oh my God, this blanket is ruined. 616 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,880 No. I have to. 617 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,920 Burn this blanket. I like I think about that quote 618 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,400 in Bridesmaids from. Like it in half or break it in 619 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,760 half. And I was like my poor mother, 620 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,800 like she was, she was doing that. 621 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,000 For not for not saying I love you and. 622 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,800 Having and I've never talked to my brothers about this and I 623 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,040 never will but like I bet we were just like all doing the 624 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,680 same stuff. Everything. 625 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,000 Everything. And she if she found it bunched 626 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:15,880 up underneath your bed. Sheet socks cloth the Afghan 627 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,200 quilt. Nightmare Aunt, that Barbie that 628 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,400 you borrowed from the girl down the street? 629 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,680 Yeah. The Ken dolls butt hole. 630 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,240 Yeah, it. Was all like something about 631 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,360 married do. You remember your first sexual 632 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,280 experience with another person. I do. 633 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,360 Do you want to tell us about it, or was it like a, well, a crying 634 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,040 thing? That you're here. 635 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:42,000 Which you can also. Share about yes, so when I moved 636 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,720 up to Minnesota, I had these two best friends. 637 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,040 I'm just not going to name them on. 638 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,560 This right now. Please don't. 639 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:52,360 Yeah, but after after Maya sent you into it to the but like. 640 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,760 But she no, no, no, I I could care less. 641 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,480 It's like back later with the she's like sitting in the 642 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,120 program. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be. 643 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,280 So great. That'd be crazy. 644 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,720 I mean, that'd be so crazy. Hopefully you didn't say 645 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,600 anything crazy about her. So I'm like, great. 646 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:13,400 By these two best friends in boys, boys in Indiana and, and 647 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,720 we used to hang out like all the time. 648 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:20,880 And when I moved up to Minnesota, their parents would 649 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,280 like let them come visit. And then I would go down to 650 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,360 like, yeah, for like a week maybe at a time or whatever. 651 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:33,960 So one of my friends who came up to visit, we were like exploring 652 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,560 each other's bodies. And when I went down to Indiana, 653 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,760 back to visit, we were like running around naked and we were 654 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,160 getting boners and stuff. Wait, wait, wait. 655 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:46,080 OK, this is like I'm I'm going back there in age with you. 656 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:50,760 I'm not picturing you guys that age but like it was like bro 657 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,880 hang stuff that was also heavily sexual. 658 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:59,520 Handsy kissing, Yeah. No, not kissing. 659 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,200 And was it like, oh, I dare you to like? 660 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:07,920 No, I don't know. And I like we were friends on 661 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,480 Facebook still. Like aim maybe? 662 00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:14,639 And no, damn, just like we, I wasn't like big on aim. 663 00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:17,000 I wasn't like on AIM. That's the other thing, like, 664 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:23,840 yeah, I mean. Yeah, I wasn't big on AIM, but 665 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:28,080 like, just like we were Facebook friends and I'm pretty sure like 666 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,280 they ended up with women and stuff. 667 00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:34,800 But it was like, OK, so did you guys have orgasms together? 668 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,880 No, OK, no. But definitely we're like 669 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,920 touching and stuff. And at this point, were you 670 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,800 still in the closet? Oh, I mean, I was in the closet 671 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,280 till college. Like I didn't come out until in 672 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,800 fact, I was like middle school and high school were so 673 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:57,800 traumatizing to me that I was like, like, I'm a Republican. 674 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,720 I can't be gay. I'm a Republican. 675 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:02,360 Whoa. Which is also true. 676 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,720 Yeah, I mean, that's why and that's the reason, yeah, that's 677 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,920 the reason all these like, you know, like Lindsey Graham and 678 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,960 all these people, they're just like so afraid of their own 679 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,680 sexuality. They've and if they, if they 680 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:20,040 just like sucked a Dick and held a man's hand, honey, like keep 681 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,800 being a way better. Place I I'm not the first to say 682 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,120 this, but violent crime is like stored in the male butthole. 683 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,160 Yeah, I was like the president. Of the teenage Republicans in my 684 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:34,520 high school, which is so embarrassing but I was like I I 685 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:39,600 was so ashamed of being gay and had no gay never didn't in high 686 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,680 school. No boyfriends or girlfriends 687 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,840 obviously, like no sexual experiences by myself. 688 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,360 So besides my touching my own self. 689 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,200 Yeah. Oh, none with girls either. 690 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,960 Oh no. What was how do you explain that 691 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:56,000 away and socially or did you? Were you even asked? 692 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,120 I didn't, No one asked. No one was like, why don't you 693 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,560 have a girlfriend? One girl ever? 694 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,440 Yeah, I, you know, I, there are some kids, the kids in high 695 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,640 school had boyfriends and girlfriends like, you know, but 696 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:14,120 I, I feel like the majority didn't in a way. 697 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:16,960 Sure. Like if I, you know, there were 698 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,080 like the couples everyone knew about or whatever. 699 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,480 But it wasn't like an overwhelming, it wasn't euphoria 700 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,480 high. No, no, no, no, no, no. 701 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,640 Exactly. And yeah, I didn't come out 702 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,160 until college. And like, that was like a really 703 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:33,800 radical shit for me because I was like able to live my life 704 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,200 like kind of more authentically. I was like a little bit more 705 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,120 cautious. Like I didn't even have sex in 706 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,440 college. I didn't have sex until I was 707 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,960 22. You mean anal or like oral too? 708 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,000 Both, really. Yeah. 709 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:49,200 Did you cause a boy in college? Yeah, yeah, actually, maybe. 710 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,480 OK, wait, let me maybe I was 20, maybe 21. 711 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,920 So maybe lying. Yeah, 21. 712 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,320 OK, when you when you what? When you kissed a boy. 713 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:03,600 Kissed a boy, had oral sex. But anal wasn't until after your 714 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,160 graduate program was anal. Anal was the summer that I came 715 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,120 to LA. Summer I turned anal. 716 00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:14,600 Yeah, yeah, 'cause I interned at NBC Universal between my junior 717 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:19,240 and senior year of college, and that was my first time coming to 718 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,960 Los Angeles. Like, you know, being in West 719 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:27,600 Hollywood, I was just like, so that's like when this is. 720 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:30,640 So interesting for me to hear because I think of you as like a 721 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:35,960 varsity level gay. Maybe now that I'm 38. 722 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:41,160 OK, OK, wait, but take me back a little bit to the high school 723 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,640 point. Did you know you were gay or is 724 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,520 it something you? Weren't, but I was like, so in 725 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,440 denial and we were like, we weren't in like an evangelical 726 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,240 crazy Christian. But there were influence. 727 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,320 I went to church 3 * a week like Sunday morning, Sunday night, 728 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,800 Wednesday and then we do. Life one of those. 729 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,160 It was, it was like actually like a really good church and 730 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,280 looking back on it, it was kind of like a basket of like 731 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,600 misplaced like toys. A lot of kids that were in our 732 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,040 youth program we're goth and queer and alts and all these 733 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,640 things, but and and fun, like really cool, nice people. 734 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:19,360 And I felt like that gave me a lot of security. 735 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,320 And our church did like things like help the poor, like, you 736 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,520 know, like volunteer and and woke. 737 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,600 We have service to others. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 738 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,000 So. And it was just. 739 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:34,640 And we have like played like fun games like I that I actually 740 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,840 really loved that church and that instilled a lot of like 741 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:43,400 good, I think values in me. Like my church was like, you're 742 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:49,720 hated that I was a Republican. No, they hated that, you know, 743 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,760 But I was like, that was like my biggest mask that I could wear. 744 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,720 Don't like myself at like school or whatever. 745 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,440 Like, I can't be gay because I'm a Republican. 746 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:01,360 You were in deep undercover. I was like, even though I was 747 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:02,800 like, I remember like, you know what I mean? 748 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,120 Like I wasn't like I like I was. Just don't. 749 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,560 Believe in that politically, Yeah, I think I'm pretty like 750 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:12,560 like maybe not like looks wise, but like I felt like the second 751 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,240 I opened my mouth people were like fag gay, yeah, gay. 752 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:18,280 Like I was on video. Like Dateline or Gay. 753 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,280 Yeah, that. OK, So what happened in college 754 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,120 that caused the shift? Just like the freedom or the 755 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,080 like. Yeah, the. 756 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:29,640 Freedom. Where'd you go to college? 757 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,400 Boston College. Oh, OK. 758 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:36,760 So you got out of Minnesota and. Went to a Jesuit university, 759 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:40,800 which still like religious, but Jesuits are like the good 760 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,880 Catholics, like you know what I mean? 761 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,640 Like they're like the liberal educators, like be of service to 762 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,120 others. And that was really important to 763 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:57,240 me and I volunteered, I volunteered in a program called 764 00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:59,760 for Boston. We worked with like I worked at 765 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,720 an after school program like mentoring kids. 766 00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:06,200 So like every week I was there for you know, 4 hours and like 767 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:11,200 every Wednesday and. Before I went into that program, 768 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,680 I was like, I need to come. Like I, I don't know if I would 769 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,800 have like been so vocal about it amongst like my peers and stuff, 770 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,960 even though people like knew I wasn't like waving a pride 771 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,000 parade around, flag around or anything, but like, you know, I 772 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,200 wasn't like ashamed of it. You. 773 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,800 Didn't correct anyone. That's right. 774 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:33,240 And but I was like, I need to be really honest with the kids in 775 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:36,760 this program because I know how horrible high school kids are. 776 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,080 Totally. And I was like, if I am 777 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,240 dishonest with them, they will not respect me. 778 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,480 They will be more cruel to me than kids were to me in high 779 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,080 school myself. Sure. 780 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,840 Like I was like, maybe they want to have, I don't know, like they 781 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,480 were going to show me what you're saying, but like you. 782 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,160 Know it's like. But I was like, I was like, I 783 00:40:56,160 --> 00:41:00,440 need to just be like so so real and authentic with who I am and 784 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,920 like lead by example. Kind of sounds like you were 785 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:06,120 going to bully yourself. I mean, no one bullies me 786 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,280 harder. Than that yeah, yeah, yeah, 787 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:08,160 yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 788 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,360 No one, no one's a worse bully to their totally been me and 789 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:12,800 probably most people to themselves. 790 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,240 Yeah. But for sure, for sure. 791 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:17,800 Well, we know our like, deepest, darkest fears that we think 792 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,400 everyone else can like, see. Yeah. 793 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,120 And there was. And so really like my big sexual 794 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,200 awakening was I studied abroad in Spain. 795 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,400 That'll do it. That'll do it. 796 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,480 Yes, and that and that was also great because I studied through 797 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:35,440 NYU and it was like all these kids that I also had didn't know 798 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,560 and everyone at NYU was gay and like. 799 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,800 That's like it must be on the application like you get. 800 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,800 There like 40,000 gay people. Yeah. 801 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:50,280 And so we're in Madrid. It was world pride. 802 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:55,520 Like it was like, yeah, I mean, and, and also like, you know, 803 00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:00,000 like Spanish men. Were they all over you? 804 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:06,600 Tall white boy, Tall gringo. Kinda sorta maybe, I don't know. 805 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,320 I got pickpocketed so they're all around. 806 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,240 What I meant but. Yeah, it's also sexy. 807 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:16,080 No, it was, it was, it was. It was just really fun and that 808 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,560 made gave me a lot of confidence and. 809 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:24,320 Then did you hook up a lot? Kinda sorta like not really. 810 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,080 And that not with anyone in the program. 811 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,680 No, like just with like yeah, local guys, yeah, yeah. 812 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,080 But we like couldn't bring them home to like where we lived or. 813 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,040 Where you're probably sharing spaces. 814 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:38,400 Wait, were you going to gay bars and clubs? 815 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,200 Yes, I mean, definitely, definitely out in Spain, like 816 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,680 kind of did everything and all over Europe. 817 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:49,000 And then and then yeah, when I coming back from that trip was 818 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,320 like way more empowered. And also then like actually 21 819 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:56,560 to like go out in Boston to like different gay bars and stuff 820 00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,720 there with friends and, and, and my straight friends would come 821 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:01,920 with me too, like brilliant boys. 822 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,040 And it was like, yeah, it was, it was cool and it was fun. 823 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:09,880 And, and then LA like I was basically like living down the 824 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:13,360 street, you know, that summer that I was out here, I actually 825 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:17,400 was staying at USC like I had a like rented A dorm room for the 826 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:21,600 summer, lol. But my best, one of my best 827 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:25,080 friends had he was living out here and and he was kind of like 828 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,400 my gay like maker. Wow, your groomer. 829 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,840 Yeah, like a true I was thinking True Blood, but when did? 830 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,160 You have anal that had. You had anal before you came 831 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:39,840 here, not? Till here and I used we used 832 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:45,640 like like Vaseline or something. It was, I definitely had got 833 00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,280 picked up after. Pam. 834 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,960 Oh yeah, it was bad. I mean I got picked up after a 835 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,000 night at like Fiesta Cantina. That used to be the spot. 836 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,120 Show wasted, obviously. Karaoke on Wednesday nights. 837 00:43:57,240 --> 00:44:00,760 Absolutely. And a two for one or whatever. 838 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,320 And what were they called? Like adios, motherfuckers. 839 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:08,280 AMS. Yep, blue that they were. Big and blue. 840 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,280 Big and blue. OK, wait. 841 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,880 OK, so so. This is like this is like me 842 00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,520 having like anal sex for like the first time. 843 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:24,480 I'm on the edge of my seat. It was, I mean, anal. 844 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,720 You have to get, you have to really learn, yes, your way 845 00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:29,520 around these things, yes. Anal. 846 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,720 My journey with anal has been anything but a straight line. 847 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,400 Oh yeah. And I was in a side era for 848 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,680 years where I was just like, I'm not dealing with it. 849 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:46,760 From diet to cleaning out to the dude not being in control or you 850 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:50,280 know what I mean? It's like so many moving pieces. 851 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,120 Then I'm just like I. You know what? 852 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,680 Mouths are just as fun. They yeah, but or they can't 853 00:44:55,680 --> 00:45:02,560 That G spot though. A blackout orgasm. 854 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,160 If you're getting puck and you're like and you come like, 855 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,920 it's like a reboot. It's crazy, yes. 856 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:13,960 I, I don't understand how how straight men aren't playing 857 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:17,040 around down there all the time. I think a lot of them are and 858 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:18,320 they should be. You should be. 859 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,880 They are, they should be. We shouldn't witch hunt or make 860 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,560 fun of them also. It's incredible. 861 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:27,680 The prostate is incredible. A lot of them are so afraid. 862 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,600 This is so funny. And this is the metric by which 863 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,200 you. Get called a faggot for drinking 864 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,960 Diet Coke. And I wasn't, and you were. 865 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:36,960 And you were, but they were. Whoever said that was right. 866 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,280 Right, right. But like I if you're like these 867 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:45,200 like kids now, I mean the things that they like the the I just 868 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,320 watched like parts of the manosphere doc. 869 00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,160 I know I shouldn't. I know I know I can and should 870 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,960 not. First of all, they're all gay. 871 00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:56,280 Just them out like they're all gay. 872 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:01,720 Listening to these alpha males are so close, but they're so 873 00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:09,480 close to just saying the peak form of masculinity is being in 874 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:13,560 love with another man. They are so close. 875 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:15,640 They're doing everything for male approval. 876 00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:16,840 Yeah, that's what I'm saying and. 877 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,560 They're like, it's not even to like get women. 878 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,400 No, I'm just like bro suck his Dick. 879 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:26,160 Dude Spoon watch a gay movie together. 880 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,600 I know like watch football together, take a load in your 881 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,080 mouth. Take a load in your wettest. 882 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,080 Hole. Yeah, this is like, let's return 883 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,720 to like ancient Rome, the Spartans. 884 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,200 Like ancient. Greece like I. 885 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:41,120 Mean things will get there at some point, hopefully, and it'll 886 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,000 be so messy. It'll be so messy. 887 00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,720 But wait. Speaking of messy, your first 888 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,960 say no. Were you on the receiving or 889 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,960 giving end or do you even want to talk about it? 890 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,240 I feel like I'm frowning you about it. 891 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,440 Well it's it's so hard to remember that all these things 892 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,840 that I was literally black out drunk during like my first anal. 893 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,480 Same with my 20s. I'm like, yeah. 894 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:04,200 I don't know. I was like when I was working 895 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:08,600 up, like when I could get to the space of doing it. 896 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:13,000 I was pretty drunk. OK, so then maybe just give us 897 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000 the vibe of sex in in these days I. 898 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:20,240 Was definitely. I was definitely like, I think 899 00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:26,240 giving more than receiving and then in with receiving. 900 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:34,080 Well, first of all, you're tall. Tall, but with receiving yeah, 901 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:42,440 it was I remember the first time I had anal sex receive it like 902 00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:50,400 as a bottom and thinking it was the most yeah. 903 00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:53,480 Interesting, I got the painful part the first time. 904 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,200 Oh yeah, it was like. Paralyzing. 905 00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:56,040 Yeah. Like paralyzed. 906 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:59,480 Like shocking. Yes, yes, shocking, shocking. 907 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,640 Which I always find crazy when you like pass a big poop and 908 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,520 you're like, well that was totally. 909 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:05,440 Fine, totally. Yeah. 910 00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,080 Well, so then here's what happened to me. 911 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:12,080 I had this. So then I'd had because like I 912 00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,400 was on my parents health insurance until I was 26, like 913 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,920 everyone is. And so I was like, oh, like 914 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,240 doctor Schmachter, like I'll go in for everything. 915 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:27,480 So I'd gone in about Wow, what are the? 916 00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:32,960 St. is. No, not St. is but like some 917 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,920 other like panel, not a fissure. Oh, hemorrhoid. 918 00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:41,560 Hemorrhoid like yes and so I like getting into bottoming and 919 00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,560 I was like OK, well like I can't have these hemorrhoids like. 920 00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:46,240 Oh, you had them going in? Yeah. 921 00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:49,120 And so I was like, I was like, I think maybe from it or 922 00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,640 something, I don't remember, but I was like, the doctor was like, 923 00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:55,440 we can remove this. And in doing that, I had this 924 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,960 like terrible scarring that had occurred. 925 00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:01,360 On the outside or inside? On like like the lip? 926 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,600 Yes exactly. And it basically closed up my 927 00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:08,640 asshole. Like it healed it tighter. 928 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:12,920 Yeah, like it like destroyed me and I had to have been surgeries 929 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:16,240 afterwards for them to cut away the scar tissue because scar 930 00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:19,600 tissue isn't flexible. So like your asshole tissue 931 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,720 should be able to expand for a big poop or a Dick. 932 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:30,040 And and and so like that had like, I'd essentially like 933 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,200 destroyed my opportunity to bottom for. 934 00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:39,560 Years and how at what point did you realize it did you keep 935 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,760 trying and it kept hurting and. You couldn't shit. 936 00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,680 Oh my God. I'm at work at the agency and 937 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:49,400 I'm like, and I like sweating. I I'm like it was like you 938 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:54,080 couldn't stick a 1/2 a pinky up. You're pooping Twizzlers. 939 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,080 It had to. It liquefied itself to like, 940 00:49:56,080 --> 00:50:00,600 come out as like, like just, yeah, it was like, very 941 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:02,920 traumatizing. So I didn't have sex after that 942 00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,760 for like, like a year besides like, mouth stuff or whatever or 943 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:10,440 me topping. And I thought maybe I'd never 944 00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:16,520 ever be able to bottom again. But time heals and. 945 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,200 Ask you buts. Yes. 946 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,840 So I feel like I'm in my bottom renaissance, really. 947 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:25,280 Yeah, OK, we but we skipped over so much We did I Do you have any 948 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,680 career highlights or low lights when it comes to your sex life? 949 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,240 Like starting when you were in your 20s when you started 950 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:34,960 getting anal with it and then you're 38 now. 951 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:40,440 So like are you, have you spent a more majority of that time in 952 00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:44,680 like a monogamous partnership or an open partnership or I was? 953 00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:50,640 Very, very slutty, like my whole all my 20s, like wouldn't date 954 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,960 anyone longer than like 6 months or something. 955 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:57,560 And was always into older guys, like always into like, like when 956 00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,880 I was in my 20s, I was only like sleeping with guys that are like 957 00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,880 late 30s forties, 50s really. Oh yeah. 958 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,040 Do you know where that comes from? 959 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:11,520 I just think they're hot. I like hot, beefy, hairy, dark 960 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,560 like I don't. Know the Eagle Fault line. 961 00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,200 Absolutely. Yes, uncle vibes. 962 00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:24,360 Totally, yes. And so, yeah, I, I was kind just 963 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,960 like hooking up and like being out and being drunk and being 964 00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,880 fun and like, you know, doing whatever. 965 00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:40,280 And and then, yeah, it wasn't like once I was in my 30s, I 966 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:41,800 started becoming attracted to guys my age. 967 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:45,320 Interesting because the older guys were like 60 because. 968 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:49,120 Well, because finally, like I think maybe like I was always 969 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,600 into guys in their 30s anyway. So I was like, oh, whereas like 970 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,240 before I wasn't in like when I was in my 20s, like I wasn't 971 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:56,080 into. Guys. 972 00:51:56,080 --> 00:52:00,760 Babyface guys. And, and like, I, I think any 973 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,320 relationship can like, you know, work with different age 974 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,920 disparities or whatever, but I think there is something special 975 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:09,640 about being with someone who understands like the time that 976 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:13,560 you grew up in, you know, you're on similar journeys. 977 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,120 Like, you know, like when you're, let's say, if you're in 978 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:23,040 a long term relationship, like if like my partner would be like 979 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:26,640 70 now, like, you know, if I was like with them in my 20s, like, 980 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,160 no, thank you. Like, you know, I mean like, 981 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:33,800 that's a good friendship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 982 00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,080 But you want shorthand between a partner. 983 00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:40,600 For me, yeah, yeah, for me. So yeah, I wasn't it. 984 00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:46,680 It wasn't until I was in a relationship and I would I would 985 00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:52,600 also like I think I've become I had I I was infatuated with some 986 00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:57,240 men and I confused infatuation with love a lot when I was in my 987 00:52:57,240 --> 00:52:58,480 early. Were they giving you stuff? 988 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,120 Were they giving it to you back? Oh yeah, they would tell me they 989 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:04,600 loved me OK, but they that they were like, like love. 990 00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:08,040 Bombing or. Totally love bombing, totally 991 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,880 manipulative. So that's your type. 992 00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,000 You said like you back fell into that a few times. 993 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,440 Dad and yeah, like with some older like hot daddies who like, 994 00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:23,240 you know, were like, I like porn stars yeah, that's like that 995 00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:25,240 stuff that's hot. It was hot. 996 00:53:25,240 --> 00:53:27,000 They were so hot do. You know the porn star Drew 997 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,240 Sebastian. Oh, I of course, yeah. 998 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:31,960 Oh, Daddy's sex files, isn't that? 999 00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,640 Crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1000 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,800 Crazy. Yeah. 1001 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,000 So yeah, I loved, I love all that shit, you know, like I I 1002 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,320 just think it's hot. But. 1003 00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:45,360 But anyway, I like I I couldn't really I was just like mostly 1004 00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,240 topping then because of the bottom situation. 1005 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:51,840 But it wasn't until I was in a actually positive good like 1006 00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,960 healthy like relationship. Had that been a goal of yours to 1007 00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,720 be in a relationship or what? Where did relationships fall in 1008 00:53:58,720 --> 00:54:05,920 your priorities list? They, I think I remember, like 1009 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,240 society making me think that I wanted to be in a relationship. 1010 00:54:09,240 --> 00:54:19,520 Of course. But you know, I wasn't, it 1011 00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,200 wasn't like I, I thought it would happen. 1012 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:25,760 I wanted it to happen in a, in a way. 1013 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,480 And when I become infatuated with someone, I was like, I 1014 00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,000 really want to be with them. I really want to be with them. 1015 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:35,800 But I don't think I understood what a real relationship was 1016 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,160 when both partners are like. Showing up. 1017 00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,400 Showing up, choosing each other, supporting, yeah, all this 1018 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:42,600 stuff. Communicating. 1019 00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,840 Yeah. And so, so it wasn't until I was 1020 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,080 in that kind of really safe, secure partnership that I 1021 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:53,200 actually was able to start bottoming again because I felt 1022 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:56,040 really like I wasn't going to like be like. 1023 00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:01,560 Tear me open. Yeah, No, no. 1024 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,200 So, so like that was really positive. 1025 00:55:04,240 --> 00:55:08,480 And had you had the the loosening surgery prior to this? 1026 00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:13,080 Yeah, because to shit. Oh OK, OK, OK, OK. 1027 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:16,240 They they were like got it. We done fucked up and I was like 1028 00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:18,640 my life. The doctor did not give a a 1029 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,000 shit. He was like, Oh yeah, this can 1030 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,080 happen. It's rare. 1031 00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:22,800 I was like. OK. 1032 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:25,200 And a lot of. Mind you, I know other men who 1033 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,360 this has happened to. So it's not that rare. 1034 00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,160 It's not that rare. It's like actually I think 1035 00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,560 pretty common. Like so Reddit tells me as well. 1036 00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,640 Like I was like, damn, like. I never go on Reddit. 1037 00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:35,040 Sure. So. 1038 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:36,440 Yes. Really. 1039 00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:37,960 Yeah. I mean, it's tainted now. 1040 00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:41,240 Scary. No, no, it's the most to me if I 1041 00:55:41,240 --> 00:55:43,800 wanna know something real. Answers. 1042 00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:45,040 Yeah. Damn. 1043 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,440 Do you post there? No, I don't. 1044 00:55:47,640 --> 00:55:53,440 But like, even now, you know that like, it's just like bots 1045 00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,160 or publicist marketers, if you're savvy. 1046 00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:58,640 I mean, you could go and do stuff there, but I do think you 1047 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:03,400 can just sift through the bullshit and even Reddit is like 1048 00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,880 a little bit under fire now from like corporate capture and 1049 00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:07,720 stuff. Yeah. 1050 00:56:07,720 --> 00:56:12,760 So it's we have less spaces on the Internet. 1051 00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:16,360 The Internet's not this free, open, democratic thing that used 1052 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,720 to be. Yeah, there's overlords. 1053 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:21,240 Oh yeah. And Palantir. 1054 00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:24,080 And like moles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1055 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,680 Maybe we'll all shift to the dark web they're. 1056 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,360 All the real ones, they're just going to be like, Oh my God, but 1057 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,120 like they're going to be like, wow, like Jason watched a lot of 1058 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:36,640 daddy porn. And yeah, can you send me some 1059 00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:38,400 of those links? Because I've lost, but then 1060 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:39,680 you're like. Watching all this stuff with 1061 00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,120 like or like you're seeing everything come out with the 1062 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,880 Epstein files and I'm like, these people were emailing like 1063 00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,680 that on Gmail crazy. And I'm like, I'm like, I have 1064 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,440 nothing to hide. Like, you know what I mean? 1065 00:56:49,720 --> 00:56:51,960 I have nothing to hide. I was like, I have like very 1066 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,240 people. I was like you people like I'm 1067 00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:56,400 like, I'm like, yeah, like sorry. 1068 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,400 I like to beat it a couple like you know you won't. 1069 00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:03,000 Even find bad nudes of mine. And guess what? 1070 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,640 When I send an e-mail, the spelling. 1071 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:06,160 Is correct. Oh my God. 1072 00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:10,640 Sorry, like what are we doing? Like if you're. 1073 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:12,800 Going to torture? Someone know how to spell the 1074 00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,280 word torture? Yeah, please. 1075 00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:17,840 And it has some dignity. OK, let's play a quick round of 1076 00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,920 Hot or Not. This is where I list things and 1077 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:21,560 you tell me if you find them hot or not. 1078 00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,560 OK, so we'll go with body hair. Hot. 1079 00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,280 Natural scent or must. Hot. 1080 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:33,920 Tattoos or body modifications? Hot. 1081 00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:37,560 Is there any limit to that Well? Tattoos hot. 1082 00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:39,080 I mean, it depends on the tattoo. 1083 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:40,560 Right. Depends on the face tattoo and 1084 00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:41,720 neck tattoo. We're good. 1085 00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,840 Face and neck tattoos can be so hot. 1086 00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:47,360 There is nothing less hot than a bad tattoo. 1087 00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,440 Yeah, a bad tattoo. It ruins it. 1088 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:51,680 Think. About these things before you 1089 00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:54,720 get them, like honestly, like put some really deep thought 1090 00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,600 into. It this is the thing though, 1091 00:57:56,880 --> 00:58:01,320 every man your type has the tribal going around his arm. 1092 00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:05,160 No, not a tribal. Barbed wire or something? 1093 00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,480 No, yes 'cause they're like 45 or whatever and they were in 1094 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,600 born in like the early 2000s maybe. 1095 00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:12,280 Maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah. 1096 00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,680 I mean yeah, those can be gross, but like you can overlook those 1097 00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,080 for the enough body hair, Musk and a big Dick like. 1098 00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,720 There you go. But yeah, I do like, I like 1099 00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:22,520 tattoos. I like all like I like 1100 00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,560 alternative. Shirt tightness East side boys 1101 00:58:26,440 --> 00:58:28,040 foreskin. Hot. 1102 00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:32,880 Do you like that more than cut? I, I think it doesn't matter. 1103 00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:38,640 I don't, I'm cut and just I guess thought everyone was like 1104 00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:44,240 for the longest time and yeah, it doesn't. 1105 00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:46,440 It doesn't. I don't care about it. 1106 00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:50,040 Doesn't treat you either way. No, yeah, my boyfriend's cut. 1107 00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,520 Good for you guys. Yeah, I'm cut as well, but I 1108 00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:54,960 miss my foreskin. Foreskin. 1109 00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,760 If you're watching or listening, please come home. 1110 00:58:56,880 --> 00:59:02,200 Yeah, it was I, I, I do think that people shouldn't be cut 1111 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,080 like, you know. Oh I know. 1112 00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,320 Looking back, it's it's unhinged. 1113 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,480 And also I think instills a lot of trauma and, and, and boys 1114 00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:13,000 like it's like a lot of pain right away for them. 1115 00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:16,560 It's also made boys who are uncut traumatized. 1116 00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:19,840 He's they're in this minority for the most part, Yeah. 1117 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:21,840 And then they're ripe for the picking on. 1118 00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:25,720 Yeah, I knew a guy that out here I met in West Hollywood. 1119 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,880 He was like hanging out with my roommate at the time, hit a big 1120 00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:33,600 Dick and he had to get circumcised as an adult because 1121 00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:37,120 his foreskin didn't. Oh, open all the way, open all 1122 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:38,640 the way. And every time it hurt. 1123 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:40,920 Super painful for him. So you know what? 1124 00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:45,640 And I love the way my cut Dick looks like, and I wonder if that 1125 00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:47,440 would have happened to me if I'd cut my foreskin. 1126 00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:51,480 Sometimes people ask if I'm uncut and I think it's like the 1127 00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:54,440 dude took the tiniest snip off the top. 1128 00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:58,000 Like I might exist in like the middle. 1129 00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:00,000 Interesting. Dicks are amazing. 1130 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,600 They're like snowflakes. I really do like them a lot. 1131 01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:04,320 Yeah, and every Dick looks different. 1132 01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:06,560 Balls. I did meet a Dick doppelganger 1133 01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:07,520 once. Really. 1134 01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:09,400 Yeah, he had the same. Penis. 1135 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:10,840 My guy and. I was like. 1136 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:17,640 Whoa has sent other guys Dick pics instead of his own because 1137 01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:19,680 he feels they look similar enough. 1138 01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:23,040 That's crazy. I agree, but he's I said does 1139 01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:24,960 anyone catch on? He goes never. 1140 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:28,080 Not yet. But that blows my mind because 1141 01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,240 that's interesting. I always think about like how oh 1142 01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:32,920 you don't look like your pictures, but I'm rarely like, 1143 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,600 you're holding up the phone to the Dick like that. 1144 01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,720 'D be crazy. Turn to the side #3 say the 1145 01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:44,560 following line Come. Love it. 1146 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,400 Really like more than the average bear. 1147 01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,080 No, I mean, I'm not like. I'm not like saving it. 1148 01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:52,560 Yeah, I'm. Not like a I'm not like a jizz. 1149 01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:57,840 Junkie. Thank you episode title so close 1150 01:00:57,840 --> 01:00:59,640 to the end. Jizz Junkie. 1151 01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,480 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But but I I I like it. 1152 01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:04,800 Yeah, it is. Like, I mean, I do find it. 1153 01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:06,920 It's one of those things that I've said this so many times. 1154 01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,800 I'm so sorry, Tower Bottoms. Who you heard of this? 1155 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:13,400 My interest in jizz plummets once I come. 1156 01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:17,640 Yeah, totally. Like it lives in this like a 1157 01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:21,000 potential energy space where I'm like, oh, I can't wait for him 1158 01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,040 to unload. And then as soon as I do, I'm 1159 01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:26,040 like, could you do that away from me? 1160 01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:29,880 Like off of me? Yeah, totally. 1161 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:33,040 Yeah, well, I got mine. Yeah, exactly. 1162 01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,440 Spit. Like it? 1163 01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:41,800 OK, what about rough sex? Or sex that might leave a mark. 1164 01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:46,600 I don't mind hitting dudes, but I don't want to get hit. 1165 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,960 Degradation is a no thing for you I. 1166 01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,800 Mean I could degradate someone like. 1167 01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:54,520 I know, we all know, we've been, we've been listening to you for 1168 01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,000 an. Hour, but but no, like, don't 1169 01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:06,640 hit me. Cruising into it more and guess 1170 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,120 what? I met my boyfriend in the 1171 01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:09,200 darkroom. You're kidding. 1172 01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,120 Wait, cruising the darkroom is kind of like cruising? 1173 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:13,960 Light, I guess, yeah, yeah, because. 1174 01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:17,680 It's like, definitely like a legal space in which to do. 1175 01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:22,160 It totally I felt like, well, are you, were you born late 80s 1176 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:23,240 or early? 90s I'm 85. 1177 01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:24,080 Oh yeah. OK. 1178 01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:30,960 So I felt I I kind of feel like I grinder came out when I was 1179 01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:35,160 coming out. And so there weren't these 1180 01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:38,120 spaces that existed before as cruising spaces that even though 1181 01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:40,920 I heard about at my college like my friend was like that my old 1182 01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:42,440 roommate had. Went to go to the library 1183 01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:44,360 exactly. And you're like. 1184 01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:46,360 What? Yeah, I was like. 1185 01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:48,280 Scared that can't be. Yeah, yeah. 1186 01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,040 Or no, I'm going to get caught. Or like the bath. 1187 01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,120 Or like the airport bath or. Whatever. 1188 01:02:54,280 --> 01:03:00,200 I never had the pleasure like, you know, I I like, I like 1189 01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:03,840 missed out, I think because of apps apps. 1190 01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:05,840 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like gay bars? 1191 01:03:06,160 --> 01:03:11,160 Yeah, and gay bars, like I'm in gay spaces like so like is 1192 01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:13,960 cruising me like hitting on you at a bar or like you hitting on. 1193 01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:15,400 Me. Oh, good point, good point. 1194 01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:16,960 Cruising someone in the grocery store. 1195 01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,080 Cruising someone at the gym. Yeah, and I haven't. 1196 01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:24,720 I've actually I've never had a good cruising experience in that 1197 01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:26,760 kind of way besides meeting the love of my life. 1198 01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:27,840 Yeah. Wait, how long have you been 1199 01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:30,040 with your boyfriend? It'll be four years in 1200 01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:30,680 September. Wow. 1201 01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:35,480 And then, OK, wait in that darkroom situation and you don't 1202 01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:37,960 have to tell too much of his story, obviously, but like, was 1203 01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,520 it like I got to see what this face looks like? 1204 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:43,920 Or like, was it? There it was so hot. 1205 01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:46,800 It was a heat wave. It was like Aspen off and like 1206 01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:56,360 like September 23 and. 20. Two, yeah, 22. 1207 01:03:57,200 --> 01:04:03,400 And it like dripping sweat. Like I'm talking like, you know, 1208 01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:08,320 it was over 100°. And I saw him and I was like, Oh 1209 01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:12,160 my God, that guy is so hot. And I, I think he might have 1210 01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:17,240 thought the same about me, but I was kind of standing next to him 1211 01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:21,600 and I was like, I usually wait for them to make a little like a 1212 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,080 little bit of a first move so I don't make a fool of myself, 1213 01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:27,080 which I do all the time. But no. 1214 01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:33,640 But I but some we saw something happen. 1215 01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:37,200 It was kind of like, like that was funny. 1216 01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:39,760 Yeah. And we both started laughing and 1217 01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:43,480 then we just went to town. And that's when you went into 1218 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,960 the dark room or you were in the dark room. 1219 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,400 So it wasn't even, it wasn't that dark. 1220 01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,240 No, you could. OK, OK. 1221 01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:52,360 Yeah, it wasn't pitch black. And were you guys naked? 1222 01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:56,680 We, I think Dicks were out. Sure. 1223 01:04:56,680 --> 01:05:01,160 It was like you would kind of get it out if you were. 1224 01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:04,440 Engaging, engaged, but maybe some guy walked by and banana 1225 01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:07,040 peeled on Lube and you're like ha ha ha and you're. 1226 01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:09,160 Like, yeah, okay, this is the thing. 1227 01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:13,040 And then, Oh my God. Then I like we went home with 1228 01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:16,600 each other that night and the next morning I was like, what's 1229 01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:17,600 your name? Do you wanna hang? 1230 01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:22,120 Out here, I love our culture, I love our culture. 1231 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:25,200 We've been hanging out like, yeah, we've been hanging out 1232 01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,000 ever since, so. That's cute. 1233 01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:30,920 And it's hot. And then, yeah, we, we, we're 1234 01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:34,760 pretty just with each other for the first few years. 1235 01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,320 Are you gonna get married in that dark room? 1236 01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:37,600 Oh. My God, I hope we can. 1237 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:43,920 All cram in. No, yeah, it that it was nice. 1238 01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:47,920 It was nice to meet someone not on the apps like, to meet IRL 1239 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:49,880 and to like. I'm off the apps right now. 1240 01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:53,200 It's so much better, It's so. I'm looking up. 1241 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:57,840 And I've never actually met anyone that I've dated and and 1242 01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:02,600 had a good relationship that wasn't just like an infatuation 1243 01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:07,080 thing that whom I didn't meet IRLIRLIRL. 1244 01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:09,840 The energy match is really important. 1245 01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,440 OK and the last thing in the pod is what some advice you give to 1246 01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:16,680 your younger self before they began their sexual journey. 1247 01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:27,600 Yeah, do some research like you know, know, know what's going 1248 01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:33,840 on, understand about Lube, understand about that's. 1249 01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:36,520 Tough though, 'cause when you were younger, that information I 1250 01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:38,200 don't think was that readily available. 1251 01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:42,040 I know I was being told it by like older gays in college to be 1252 01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:45,080 like, go into the bathroom, stick this up your ass, jump up 1253 01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:46,280 and down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1254 01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:48,840 Like, I don't think there were YouTube videos. 1255 01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:52,840 This is how you do. But even like, yeah, however, 1256 01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:55,640 whatever YouTube, I mean, now we do have those things, but like, 1257 01:06:55,640 --> 01:07:00,040 whatever, whatever, whatever research you can do, like 1258 01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:03,320 whatever materials you have. Like I think, yeah, having an 1259 01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:08,760 understanding about that and like sexual health and like, it 1260 01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:20,160 is important. And God, I mean, I think that 1261 01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:23,240 like, I, I felt pretty naive and ignorant and I was also like, 1262 01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:27,840 just like wasted every time I was getting together and doing 1263 01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,360 gay stuff. And that was like out of like 1264 01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:31,760 insecurities and coming out and whatever else. 1265 01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:36,680 But like, it would have been nice not to be blackout drunk I 1266 01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:38,400 guess. Doing those things. 1267 01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:41,320 So maybe stop and reflect about why you're drinking through 1268 01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:44,280 these experiences. Right, because also you wanna 1269 01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:45,480 remember them. Yeah. 1270 01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:47,800 And. Or maybe sometimes. 1271 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,720 Make decisions that you remember making right. 1272 01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:51,360 Yeah. And feel. 1273 01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,080 Empowered in that way? I think so. 1274 01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:56,440 Yeah, and then where can the Tower Bottoms find love and 1275 01:07:56,440 --> 01:08:00,520 support you? Currently Oh my God I'm like 1276 01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:02,840 private on and stuff. Oh OK, you don't have to. 1277 01:08:02,840 --> 01:08:05,560 Or check out one of your shorts or. 1278 01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:09,160 OK, my short with with Zach is called Die Shirley and it's 1279 01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:12,640 which it's it's shadow band because it's called Die Shirley. 1280 01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,560 Oh God. And that's the lesson I would 1281 01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,880 have taught myself. That's a oh I know. 1282 01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:21,120 I changed my pod on good morning sodomites to good sod pod 1283 01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:26,680 because sodomites triggers. Shadow bands yeah, this is the 1284 01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:29,000 bad place right now, America and. 1285 01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:32,279 Right now, he said, for the 200th year in a row. 1286 01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:38,479 God, but yeah, so you can check that out there and you know, I'm 1287 01:08:38,479 --> 01:08:42,640 gonna, I might be opening things up with like my pages and and 1288 01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:46,600 what not. So look, look for Jason Hazard. 1289 01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:52,439 He'll be at in the credits of film and TV if he's not already. 1290 01:08:53,359 --> 01:08:57,160 I, I, I hope, I hope to be appearing more often and and to 1291 01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:59,040 continue creating and. It'll happen. 1292 01:08:59,319 --> 01:09:02,080 Andrew's going to get back. To us LV. 2 Thank you for doing 1293 01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:03,840 this. You're welcome and until next 1294 01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:07,720 time, keep sucking and fucking. And douching. 1295 01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:10,439 And douching. Oh, what a great, what a great 1296 01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:15,240 ad you're into. Hello, Tower Bottoms. 1297 01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,080 It's me, your host, Zach Newey. Towers. 1298 01:09:17,279 --> 01:09:19,359 Thank you so much for listening to Good Side Pod. 1299 01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:22,479 If you haven't already, give it a five star rating. 1300 01:09:22,640 --> 01:09:25,279 Leave a review, share it with a friend, get the word out. 1301 01:09:25,479 --> 01:09:26,479 I love you so much.