Jason Hazard, everyone. OK, let's give you a fantastic
intro because I've been scolded by my listeners before.
You're a writer, director. What are some other titles you
would give yourself? Oh my gosh.
Well, so many titles I've had in my in my life, but also in my
career in Hollywood. So when I first moved out here,
I started as a publicist, but I was always like writing and
doing my own things, so worked as an assistant in publicity in
the early 2000. Tens, did you have?
Interest in that? Or was that just like I have to
do something? I just, I'm, I'm from the
Midwest, like I went to school out East in Boston and like the
idea of being in Hollywood as a writer, as an actor, a director,
whatever, just seemed no one I knew did that those things.
It would seemed like a total fairy tale weirdo thing like not
possible. But since I had my degrees in
psychology and communications and had interned with different
PR places, including NBC Universal in the PR department,
I start reading scripts and I was always a writer and always a
creative. And I was like, Oh, this is and
obsessed with TV and film. So I was like, this is, this is
what I need to do. I can do this.
I know how to do. This oh this is like a path.
Yeah, and so, but I need to make money and and live and so.
Damn. Right.
So, so yeah, I started, I just kind of fell into the whole PR
and marketing side of things, kept writing and it was like,
oh, this will open doors one way or another in connection.
You'll be in the rooms, you'll meet the people.
But you're in the rooms as a publicist, as a marketer.
So honey, if you're not doing what you want to do, then it's
not like. Not.
Helpful. It's not helpful so.
Also P Rs like at the end of the creative process, kind of it's
like or it's the last leg. Right.
And it's really nice when you're doing PR for something or
someone that you believe in and that you're passionate about
because it's just talking up your friends.
Like I, I can do PR for you all day.
Like I do like, you know, like whatever it's like you're into,
it's really demoralizing to sell something that you don't believe
in. Damn it's horrible.
So I, I'm hiring PR for my stand up thing.
And she used the phrase she's like, I'm not an ambulance
chaser. And now I take that to mean
she's not just accepting money from people to put her name on.
That's right. Like she's only gonna she.
I guess it's a luxury too, at a certain level where you can say
no and be like, I'm only working with boop, boop, boop.
Right. Yeah.
And, and even then, I mean like the I was my boss NPR that I
first started with is amazing, like legendary.
I actually feel like I left her too soon because I should have
stayed with her longer. But you know, my first, like,
campaigns that I was working on under her were like the Oscar
awards campaigns for like, The Social Network, for like,
Midnight in Paris. So I was like, in a room
watching, like, I saw Midnight in Paris like 20 times.
Like I'd be in a room with like, Adrian Brody and me watching it
together. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, 'cause you need to get. Like a full quote from.
Really. No.
Just because they were like, yeah, we to get his like, kind
of reactions afterwards. And then we could 'cause we
represented Marty, like, so we represented Woody Allen.
Problematic. Right.
Yeah, obviously. So like, OK, right?
But like, you know, at the time, like this is kind of like, I
guess he was you. You knew, but.
You didn't fully know. Yeah, this was like before me
too. Everything.
He was still married to Sue Jin or whatever her name is.
But like, yeah, like, that was so cool to, like, to work on
those films. Like, you know, we had Scorsese,
David Fincher. That was like the social network
came in and and yeah, that was amazing.
But now, like so many of the people even at that firm who,
you know, represented, like major celebrities or major
studios, I mean, people represented, if you're in this
industry and you're a publicist, you represent the Weinsteins.
Sure. Scott Rudin.
Yeah. You know all these people who.
Checkered path. Totally more than checkered.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, were doing
terrible things and and your job was to make those things go
away. Oh my God.
Right. So you're and and also your life
is never your own. You're subservient to whomever
is paying you. And like, all time, all hours of
the day, all access. Yeah, your Christmas is so
fucking ruined if like your client like.
Steps in it. It's.
A DUI or like, you know, does something terrible.
You've no control over it. But honey.
It's your job to sweep up the mess.
And so, yeah, I was like, I kept writing.
I don't know how I like was able to do it all, but I did.
And as my like level of content and happiness in my professional
life was like, because I'm like, I can't see how this is going to
be my future. And everyone I know in this
business is like overworked, overwhelmed, stressed and angry.
And I'm like. Not me.
Not for me. Yeah, not.
For long and I was like, OK, well, I want to like work with
publicist one day, but I want to create my own things.
So that that led to stepping out and, and doing my own thing and
kind of like finally getting some representation and, and
then it's still just like the craziest, you know, uphill
battles to do anything. For my life.
Anything. And I think that's everyone,
everywhere all at once. It is.
It's just like part of the part of the the hustle that you're
constantly doing your own PR, You're constantly like reaching
out, you're constantly getting your name out there, getting
your face out there. And I think success comes to
those who do continue to just show up and put themselves out
there. Yes, yeah.
You just have to keep going and and and not really give up.
And it's funny. So Zach and I really met because
we worked on my first short film together.
So Zach was Zach played the most deliciously like villainous
neoliberal. Gay.
Yeah. Yeah.
And like, and that was with Steph Tolov and Toliver.
So crazy about yes as. Steph was like the lead.
Yeah, yeah. Wow.
And I have the funniest story about that because which kind of
like can help wrap up this conversation about like, you
know, how we met and what I, what I'm doing now.
Yeah. But like we'd won.
Like first of all, when you make a short film, I I'm always like
I. Don't know.
Yeah, tell this. Was my first podcast ever.
Yeah. Oh my.
God, we're going to talk about. Sex.
I know, I know, I know be. Gentle to my.
First time. I.
Will not, so will not, but like. Yeah, you can.
Totally. I tell them I talk to.
Them all the time. I'm like, I'm like, do I turn?
What are my ankles? Do I show whole?
Yeah, like full Bush. Yes but but when you make a
short film and you and you're pulling funds that are your own
and now you have no funds but negative.
Funds. Negative funds, but after you've
made the short and like put it out there, you can submit it to
festivals, right? Which costs more funds?
So much money that like. And there's also PR for doing.
Festival circuits, which is and, and as a former publicist, I'm
like, oh, I can do XY and Z. Like, you know, I was able to
like get it out to to some places or whatever, but but my
directing partner on that, Ben Simkins and I only really
submitted to like festivals that were free submission.
Or yeah, yeah, yeah. Or have waivers, right?
I learned early on you got to ask for a waiver if you're
right, if you're feeling frisky. Exactly.
And we ended up winning the San Francisco Short Film Festival.
Crazy, which is like the only thing that we even applied to.
Great. And and I'm on this panel for
it. It's like kind of a little still
post COVID enough where everything's like non person.
It was online. It was.
Good for me because I have no money to travel.
So I was like OK, great. Well anyway, I met with this
woman who had also been a finalist and she like loved it
so. So I wrote a series called The
Sad Stones about the whole family.
And we'd talked on the phone and then like, I was like, here's
the, here's the series based off this short that you liked so
much, which was like more of like an inciting incident about,
you know, 'cause like Steph's character ends up.
Is it a boiling? Point right right.
So then the rest of her terrible family now is at her mercy.
Great to keep living the life that they want, but it's very
like shit's Creek, Arrested Development, kind of like tone
and whatever. So 3 1/2 years later, literally
last December at Christmas, so like four months ago, this woman
responds to my e-mail that I'd sent her that script and she's
like, I just read it. It's so amazing. 3 1/2.
Years later, 3 1/2 years later, that's crazy.
I'd almost like forgotten about this script.
Of course she's like, I'm going to send it to Andrew and I'm
like, bitch with Andrew. I'm like, I'm like, but I'm so
flattered. I'm so like, it's so nice to
like get any sort of validation. And this woman lives in Canada
and she's amazing. She has like really great taste
and like works with some pretty amazing Canadian folks.
She's like, oh, Andrew, so and so.
Garfield. Barnsley, OH.
He's the executive producer of Schitt's Creek.
Oh my God. And she's like, I'm sending it
to him, I'm putting you on e-mail, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah. So I've been emailing with him.
You're in the project, obviously.
Oh. Yeah, my life.
That's so funny. But.
He's like, he's like, this is amazing, but we can't take IP
that's not Canadian or made by a Canadian.
I'm like Steph is from Canada, but like, like, you know, put
her. Name on it and.
Let's go so so that project has legs, if anyone out there
watching that. Work.
Would you literally have to sign it over to like someone else
like? They, they, they won't make it
'cause like they did like Shits Creek or like there's these
Canadian production companies like Crave, which is unheated
library and whatever they, they get their tax break, their
Canadian tax breaks like their ability to really make
affordable. That's this 75% Canadian or
something? Yes, and that means it's like
owned by Canadians cause like, where is Schitt's Creek located?
It's like nebulous, like town, right?
Like it doesn't totally exist, but it's totally in America.
You think? Totally.
'Cause it was. Interesting they were totally
living in LA and New York and stuff like.
That yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, they're like, like,
you know, it never snowed on the show, did it?
It didn't, No. It's like.
Wow, you're really kind of freaking me out a little bit
because I I didn't. Realize that I know, and I I
mean, who doesn't wish they were Canadian right now, OK?
That's brilliant. I am sending all the positive
vibes your way and it's like you said, you mentioned a second
ago, it's just nice to get that like you're going in the right
direction. Yeah, and and also.
Have value. And you have to like you have to
keep creating after the things that you make and setting it up.
But but also like, yeah, like people will follow up and it is
worth it to to just keep going, yes.
So I've tried to switch on like, oh, I'm just a creator.
I create. Everything else is out of my
hands. Now let's talk about you.
You said you were up in the Midwest.
How do you remember the first things that you found sexy or
sexual or like your first Have you you're gay, gay and have
you? How long have you known?
Like, take us way back. So I was born in Indiana and I
lived in Indiana until 4th grade.
But I always like didn't know what gay was, you know, like I'm
a millennial. I was born in 88.
I graduated high school in O 6 and but I was always attracted
to boys. Like I had crushes on boys.
I knew who I thought was cute. Any early celebrity crushes?
Well, I was a huge Buffy fan. Oh yeah, and Angel for me.
Dan. I loved how Spike dressed.
I loved Spike attitude. Yes, but you wanted to get
pounded by. Oh yeah.
Yes, absolutely, Buffy. I swear to God Buffy had like a
military boyfriend at some point.
That way, yeah, her first year in college.
Yes, he he was in he was in the fantasy.
Yeah. Fantasy workshop.
Yeah. Riley.
Yep, Yep. And on a on a on a dry day,
Xander, you can get in here too. RIP.
Yeah. Oh my God, you're right.
I know. Like days ago.
Nicholas, Brendan. Damn.
But yeah, Xander, like they're all, they're all welcome.
And Seth, back in the day, ounces.
Yes. I love a little ginger.
I never had any fantasy about Seth Green.
No, for I mean, I like, I like tall dark, and actually I don't
even care about tall. I like dark and.
Hansen yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Like. Angel was like definitely a
little bit more my cup of tea. The muscle ease.
Yes, yeah. I'd want to go party with with
Spike. Oh my God, I probably wouldn't
survive partying with Spike but because he seems like a heroin
guy, no. Maybe.
Or meth?
What is his part? What's Spike's party drug?
Or is he just like doing coke and stuff?
Well, they were definitely like in a flashback, like in China
during the Boxer Rebellion and. Opium.
Or something. Do you think some opium might
have been involved? You're right.
Opium is a pin to heroin. Me neither, I haven't done that.
Did you ever see the show The Nick?
It was like it was a turn of the century hospital and they were
doing like experimental like procedures.
But the main doctor played by I think Clive Owen, he's like
addicted to opium and he's like in between surgeries.
He's like in this, like opium done and just like, was it like
a? Gritty.
Was it like on like an FX or HBO or something?
So it was something good. It was FX, I believe.
Yeah, it was like, and Clive Owen is I Clive Owen can get it.
Oh, you should. Learn of men.
Yes, you. You honestly really should.
I think you only got two seasons.
It is so like dark and like. Oh, OK.
Yeah, I trust FX. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean that that show was that show was so good, but I used to
tape episodes of Buffy to give them to this girl in my third.
What? No, she was in my 4th grade
class. Maya and Emma's Kozlowski and my
mom thought I had a crush on her.
Will she mind that you said her full name?
I no OK, I don't even know if that's still her name.
Anyway, she was awesome. I used to tape Buffy for her and
bring her the VHS. So my mom's like, oh, you have a
little crush on this girl? And like, no, we're Alan.
I was like. No, I have a crush on Angel.
Can we talk about Buffy was on like Channel 11 or like WB WB?
So wait, why were you taping it? She didn't have access to WBI.
Don't think she was allowed to. Her parents don't let her watch
it. Oh, my God.
It was the Underground Railroad of YA, Ewing.
I got you. I got you, girl.
Yeah. OK, wait.
OK, so. And is the the dark and handsome
thing still a thing in your life?
Absolutely. OK.
And do you think it's that at all?
Because you're like fair skinned light eyes?
Maybe I like, hate, hated myself for such a long time.
Like in. Yeah, like.
Roughly from what age to what age?
4th grade after I moved from Indiana from Indiana to
Minnesota. Were people mean to in 4th grade
or was that? Well, like, so I that's like
right when you're kind of boys and girls are changing a lot
more and so like everyone's like, oh, you sound like a girl
and you're a faggot. Were you tall?
I've always been tall. How?
Tall are you right now? 65.
And are you still growing? I mean, I think actually I, I
had this conversation with someone the other day because I
do think that I've grown a little since I, since I, since
I've been in my 30s, I, I weirdly do.
I don't. I don't think you should be
allowed to be over 6 feet until you're 30.
I think that should be reserved. I I I agree.
I don't need a 19 year old who's 65.
That's scare. That's like when they first get
into the Avatar body and they're like, because I was definitely
like. 6/4 in high school and now 65.
Too tall. OK wait wait, so in 4th grade
were you tall and Sissy? Yes, yeah, I mean, I, I think I
was like tall, relatively speaking.
It just my, my, my family's all big.
Like, we're all like big people, like.
Tall. Who's the smallest?
Well, like my mom, but she's like 5-10 or 511.
Oh my God, bigger than me. So that's like tall for a for.
A girl, Yeah. Yeah.
Tall for tall for a lot of guys. My dad is 6, two or 63.
Whoa, do you have siblings? My my older brother is bigger
than me. He's like 6 five and a half
maybe. Wow.
I like bigger, like stronger. Does your family get along?
Yeah, we do now. Oh.
We do now, Yeah. We don't have to talk about it.
OK, well, my, yeah. And my, well, we're all my
brothers and I, and I have a little brother.
You're in the middle and he's the shortest, so I think he's
only like 6/4. Stop.
That is so shady. I know I.
Know you're the only gay one to your knowledge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yes.
The only gay one. OK, period.
Well, stop. It's very noticeable, like it's.
It's so funny too, but you're doing like kind of like trucker
core like this outfit you. Girl, this is like is that?
Lipstick, but it's like the hat's a little destroyed.
Totally the cut off shirt. You know, like the the overgrown
beard. This is from there's this
cabaret down the street at Plaza Dance Bar called Apocalyptic
Cabaret Plaza is I think it's on the back of this if you can.
I'll look at you assuming the position.
I know. Apocalyptic.
OK so wait, I just went to Plaza for a drag show.
Did. You love it.
Yes, and a girl did like a Peacock.
Did you do you know this like Peacock and it goes up to the
ceiling and it like took a full like.
You have to come to the next cabaret.
OK. Is it all sorts of different
performers or is it all drag still?
You'll it's, yeah, all different types of performers.
It's hosted by Aster Yang. OK, Katya will come do numbers
sometime. Oh my.
God. Dancing, singing.
The sound system in there is so bad, we really need to get it
fixed. If anyone out there.
Steve, I know you're listening. What's OK, So Plaza Steve, come
on, is on La Brea, just north of Melrose by Pink's Hot Dogs.
That's right. For those who want to check it
out, it is a time warp. When you walk in there, it's
iconic and a location warp. Yes.
You do not feel like you are in basically West Hollywood, CA.
You feel like you're in a different.
State such country because we're also like in a Hasidic
neighborhood at Orthodox Jewish neighborhood there too.
And so it it's the juxtaposition of everything that's going on is
culturally super fascinating. And Plaza is a Latin X like
trans drag. Bar.
OK, Thank you. Yes, I thought so.
Yes. It's giving Latin America your
instincts were correct. It's like it's like Chicano
cowboy culture, but like they're all there like to watch like
trans presenting or people with that trans experience drag
performance. It's it's really.
And I know it's not this but in my head it's like picnic tables
with like picnic. It tablecloth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Sarah Bucky.
Sarah Yeah, but like, but then like, multicolor twinkle lights
are all around and stuff. Total vibe.
Yeah, it. I had a great time.
It's fun, yes. OK, so can you remember your
first like orgasm? OK, so I totally like used to
put my Dick in front of The Jets and like.
In the tub. Oh, in the tub, yeah 'cause like
my in my parents bathroom they had like a large tub that had
the. Jets, were you rich?
I think that we were like middle, like upper middle, upper
middle class. Comfortable.
Yeah. Your parents had like a two
person like like what was that called a Jacuzzi?
Like a. Like the master bedroom had,
like it's there was a shower and then there was the separate.
Yeah, and it had like four corners of like water flowing
into it and. Then my brothers and I all
shared a bathroom. Great.
And that was just like a normal shower tub stitch.
OK, so you'd stick your Dick like in the flow in the path?
I would put it in the path of it and was totally like pleasuring
myself like little like Sally Draper or whatever and like.
Which I am. Currently rewatching.
I never. Watch it.
It's amazing. It's on HBO Now.
It's amazing. You must watch.
What? You were talking about Mad Men.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sally doesn't start doing that
until like season. 4 I feel like it's gonna be really slow.
Nope. It's not.
And the men are delicious. OK I just started watching Penny
Dreadful. Have you ever watched?
That Josh. Hartnett OK, there's some gay
stuff on one episode 4 and you got a little.
Bit watch it and evac Green too, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I love them both.
Joshua Hartnett does some gay stuff.
But my dad walked in on me in the tub doing that once and also
I would this is so this is I guess our house in Indiana had
the same tub situation because I used to steal my best friend
Alex's little sister Chris does Barbie dolls.
OK to play with. Yes, and I would hide them in my
house. I was.
Like you turn from a house to another place to your from.
My house we're like neighbors down the street.
So anyway, and then I'd play with them and pretend they're
mermaids in the tub. And then I don't know when I
discovered this about the Dick and the Airstreams, but I loved
it and and my dad was like walked in on me once and was
like Oh my God. And he was like.
He's like, that's so smart. I got no, he was like, he was
like, air can go up your peepee hole and it can flow through
your body. And make your.
Heart explode. Wait, wait, so I thought, and
then I was like. Well, I guess I'll just have to
be really careful not to get it by the hole.
You put a, you put a duck shape. Over the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, it's. Crazy though.
OK, it's. True.
Looking back now, what were your dad's intentions to scare you
into not doing that? Or did he actually think that
that was a thing? Because I know the air in a vein
can kill you. Obviously not the same.
Right. Or is it has a no I don't know.
I mean that whatever in legend time, right?
Like I mean. Even when he's set, like
thinking about it makes me want to like kind of like it.
Like like I'm not, I'm not into sounding.
I'm not into sounding. I love a lot of other stuff but
like. I know that hurt I pelvic floor
when I. Give a like.
For those of you don't know, sounding is when an erect penis
has a like pipe cleaner or something.
A metal rod, like a metal rod. Put you can feel.
It and feel it. In my soft Dick right now, I can
feel. It that's right, yes, you can
feel in your heart. OK, so it's so funny too when
you can feel your heartbeat in other places in your body, like
Oh yeah. I guess it's more like your
asshole. Yeah, I think that's what I
thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love. I love fingering holes and like
finger feeling their heartbeat. Pulse is running a little.
High. Cut back on those saturated
fats. Like yeah, taking some of the.
Temperature. OK, so you were just like you
were just it caused you pause but obviously did not.
Oh, I kept going. OK.
Yeah, kept going with that. So that was probably like
probably like 4th. 4th grade was real pivotal for you, yeah.
It was, but I think that's like, you know, when you turn like
10-11, you start. Going the first couple hairs
sprouting. Did your brothers share any
knowledge about it? Would Evers on our solo journey?
We were like we were constantly fighting my brother's side.
Like at breakfast in the morning, we had to put the
cereal boxes between US and. Even then I was like, punch the
cereal box over, flip the spoon out of the bowl.
Yes, we would fight over everything.
I didn't want to do anything that they were doing.
So actually if if my dad wanted me to like stop masturbating, he
could have just told my brother. To.
To tell you, tell me how much he loved masturbating.
I'd be like, I'll never do it again.
Your first orgasm was after The Jets, or did were you coming in
the tub? No, I I didn't come in the tub.
I think I just felt it felt very pleasurable.
The Barbie was like sea monster. I'm trying to remember the first
time like I. Came.
Orgasm and I think when we moved I I was obsessive with TV, so
like. Like watching it, did you find
it to be an escape as a gay boy? My mom said ever since I was
like a baby that she was she would just.
Put you in front of the. TV like they were like, how do
you calm your children down? My mom's like the TV just for
for me really. So it was just TV and
imagination. Like I wasn't into like other
like things like I was like either playing in the woods and
like. I'm gonna steep.
Yeah. Casually playing in the woods.
It's. Crazy.
It's like Creek stomping or like or watching TV or reading or
something like it wasn't was never sports.
No. Even though I was actually a
swimmer and I swim in college. Well, that's one of the that
doesn't count, Yeah. Swimming or two of the gay ones.
Yeah, they are. And track in 3rd place.
Yeah, that's right. It's very country.
Don't touch me. I can be skinny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a lone sport, sort of. That's right.
OK, so you were you didn't get any knowledge from your parents
or your brother. None.
You stumbled upon orgasms at some point.
Like I knew how a baby was made like, you know, insofar as like
a penis goes in a vagina and whatever and.
Squirts. Right.
But like, I mean, like, yeah, we, we were like, we're, we're
like a Nordic Midwestern family. Like we just did not talk about
that shit. Talk to me about what Nordic
means like you. Cold.
Oh, very OK. Very, Yeah.
Literal. OK.
Yeah. Like, yeah, like, like.
Oh yeah, stoic. Yeah.
Persevering. Yes.
Like unflinching, like we all loved each other, but like, we
weren't good about it. And it wasn't, Yeah, we were, we
weren't fags about it. No, but like, your mom's like
me. And it's so funny.
We we we say like, I love you all the like, I knew my parents
loved me. Like I knew my brothers loved
me. Like, you know, if the if
someone was maybe like that, they would maybe come to maybe
they want it back then. But like, I knew like.
You were OK. That was that I was OK.
You could talk to them, right, right people just.
Didn't we didn't talk a lot about feelings and stuff like
that. Interesting, so did anyone break
down and cry much? Me.
Look, you're right all the time. If no one's sobbing, it's you.
Well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I would like, and I would come home from in the
early days, like pretty much like through middle school, like
I would like come home like crying because I went from
having like a hat like a lot like with friends and stuff.
And then you moved during spring break and then?
There's Oh my God. Then there's a faggot in your
class. Oh my God.
Who's tall and I'm talkative like I like, I participate, I
raise my hand and so. Even in that, even in that jump,
you were like. Yeah, I like, can't help it.
Oh, good. So.
So it was, you know, destabilizing.
Yeah. And, and kids were really cruel.
I mean like, you know, like bus, like being on the bus.
Was dynamic of. Course.
Nightmare and it's the morning and you're just.
Like in the afternoon, they they went both.
Ways. Wow.
So yeah, it was that was like a lot.
But we when we moved to Minnesota, I think the first
time I came was in Minnesota, like when I jizzed and that was
we had like our basement, it was like unfinished and we just had
like a little TV down there. Like there was a in front of
like the. Elliptical or a Nordic track?
Stop it. Stop it.
An unemotional track. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, a cold track and I would watch it or like I'd go down
there like at night just cuz like no one was down in the
basement at night, like morning. So yeah.
And I'd be watching like Skinny Max.
Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And there'd be like, the softcore stuff.
Oh yeah. And like, I gotta do something
about this and. And and Queer as Folk.
Oh my, I OK. My best friend back then was
not. Neither of us are gay, but we we
are both gay. We were never talking about it,
but we were always doing something like, oh, and let's
like run like Queer as Folk. It's supposed to be like,
actually pretty good. And you'd get so hot and
bothered in the mess. Yeah.
Watching it yet? So I'd be like touching myself.
And then I think, yeah, it's like just.
I was like, Oh my God, this blanket is ruined.
No. I have to.
Burn this blanket. I like I think about that quote
in Bridesmaids from. Like it in half or break it in
half. And I was like my poor mother,
like she was, she was doing that.
For not for not saying I love you and.
Having and I've never talked to my brothers about this and I
never will but like I bet we were just like all doing the
same stuff. Everything.
And she if she found it bunched
up underneath your bed. Sheet socks cloth the Afghan
quilt. Nightmare Aunt, that Barbie that
you borrowed from the girl down the street?
Yeah. The Ken dolls butt hole.
Yeah, it. Was all like something about
married do. You remember your first sexual
experience with another person. I do.
Do you want to tell us about it, or was it like a, well, a crying
thing? That you're here.
Which you can also. Share about yes, so when I moved
up to Minnesota, I had these two best friends.
I'm just not going to name them on.
This right now. Please don't.
Yeah, but after after Maya sent you into it to the but like.
But she no, no, no, I I could care less.
It's like back later with the she's like sitting in the
program. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be.
So great. That'd be crazy.
I mean, that'd be so crazy. Hopefully you didn't say
anything crazy about her. So I'm like, great.
By these two best friends in boys, boys in Indiana and, and
we used to hang out like all the time.
And when I moved up to Minnesota, their parents would
like let them come visit. And then I would go down to
like, yeah, for like a week maybe at a time or whatever.
So one of my friends who came up to visit, we were like exploring
each other's bodies. And when I went down to Indiana,
back to visit, we were like running around naked and we were
getting boners and stuff. Wait, wait, wait.
OK, this is like I'm I'm going back there in age with you.
I'm not picturing you guys that age but like it was like bro
hang stuff that was also heavily sexual.
Handsy kissing, Yeah. No, not kissing.
And was it like, oh, I dare you to like?
No, I don't know. And I like we were friends on
Facebook still. Like aim maybe?
And no, damn, just like we, I wasn't like big on aim.
I wasn't like on AIM. That's the other thing, like,
yeah, I mean. Yeah, I wasn't big on AIM, but
like, just like we were Facebook friends and I'm pretty sure like
they ended up with women and stuff.
But it was like, OK, so did you guys have orgasms together?
No, OK, no. But definitely we're like
touching and stuff. And at this point, were you
still in the closet? Oh, I mean, I was in the closet
till college. Like I didn't come out until in
fact, I was like middle school and high school were so
traumatizing to me that I was like, like, I'm a Republican.
I can't be gay. I'm a Republican.
Whoa. Which is also true.
Yeah, I mean, that's why and that's the reason, yeah, that's
the reason all these like, you know, like Lindsey Graham and
all these people, they're just like so afraid of their own
sexuality. They've and if they, if they
just like sucked a Dick and held a man's hand, honey, like keep
being a way better. Place I I'm not the first to say
this, but violent crime is like stored in the male butthole.
Yeah, I was like the president. Of the teenage Republicans in my
high school, which is so embarrassing but I was like I I
was so ashamed of being gay and had no gay never didn't in high
school. No boyfriends or girlfriends
obviously, like no sexual experiences by myself.
So besides my touching my own self.
Yeah. Oh, none with girls either.
Oh no. What was how do you explain that
away and socially or did you? Were you even asked?
I didn't, No one asked. No one was like, why don't you
have a girlfriend? One girl ever?
Yeah, I, you know, I, there are some kids, the kids in high
school had boyfriends and girlfriends like, you know, but
I, I feel like the majority didn't in a way.
Sure. Like if I, you know, there were
like the couples everyone knew about or whatever.
But it wasn't like an overwhelming, it wasn't euphoria
high. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Exactly. And yeah, I didn't come out
until college. And like, that was like a really
radical shit for me because I was like able to live my life
like kind of more authentically. I was like a little bit more
cautious. Like I didn't even have sex in
college. I didn't have sex until I was
22. You mean anal or like oral too?
Both, really. Yeah.
Did you cause a boy in college? Yeah, yeah, actually, maybe.
OK, wait, let me maybe I was 20, maybe 21.
So maybe lying. Yeah, 21.
OK, when you when you what? When you kissed a boy.
Kissed a boy, had oral sex. But anal wasn't until after your
graduate program was anal. Anal was the summer that I came
to LA. Summer I turned anal.
Yeah, yeah, 'cause I interned at NBC Universal between my junior
and senior year of college, and that was my first time coming to
Los Angeles. Like, you know, being in West
Hollywood, I was just like, so that's like when this is.
So interesting for me to hear because I think of you as like a
varsity level gay. Maybe now that I'm 38.
OK, OK, wait, but take me back a little bit to the high school
point. Did you know you were gay or is
it something you? Weren't, but I was like, so in
denial and we were like, we weren't in like an evangelical
crazy Christian. But there were influence.
I went to church 3 * a week like Sunday morning, Sunday night,
Wednesday and then we do. Life one of those.
It was, it was like actually like a really good church and
looking back on it, it was kind of like a basket of like
misplaced like toys. A lot of kids that were in our
youth program we're goth and queer and alts and all these
things, but and and fun, like really cool, nice people.
And I felt like that gave me a lot of security.
And our church did like things like help the poor, like, you
know, like volunteer and and woke.
We have service to others. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So. And it was just.
And we have like played like fun games like I that I actually
really loved that church and that instilled a lot of like
good, I think values in me. Like my church was like, you're
hated that I was a Republican. No, they hated that, you know,
But I was like, that was like my biggest mask that I could wear.
Don't like myself at like school or whatever.
Like, I can't be gay because I'm a Republican.
You were in deep undercover. I was like, even though I was
like, I remember like, you know what I mean?
Like I wasn't like I like I was. Just don't.
Believe in that politically, Yeah, I think I'm pretty like
like maybe not like looks wise, but like I felt like the second
I opened my mouth people were like fag gay, yeah, gay.
Like I was on video. Like Dateline or Gay.
Yeah, that. OK, So what happened in college
that caused the shift? Just like the freedom or the
like. Yeah, the.
Freedom. Where'd you go to college?
Boston College. Oh, OK.
So you got out of Minnesota and. Went to a Jesuit university,
which still like religious, but Jesuits are like the good
Catholics, like you know what I mean?
Like they're like the liberal educators, like be of service to
others. And that was really important to
me and I volunteered, I volunteered in a program called
for Boston. We worked with like I worked at
an after school program like mentoring kids.
So like every week I was there for you know, 4 hours and like
every Wednesday and. Before I went into that program,
I was like, I need to come. Like I, I don't know if I would
have like been so vocal about it amongst like my peers and stuff,
even though people like knew I wasn't like waving a pride
parade around, flag around or anything, but like, you know, I
wasn't like ashamed of it. You.
Didn't correct anyone. That's right.
And but I was like, I need to be really honest with the kids in
this program because I know how horrible high school kids are.
Totally. And I was like, if I am
dishonest with them, they will not respect me.
They will be more cruel to me than kids were to me in high
school myself. Sure.
Like I was like, maybe they want to have, I don't know, like they
were going to show me what you're saying, but like you.
Know it's like. But I was like, I was like, I
need to just be like so so real and authentic with who I am and
like lead by example. Kind of sounds like you were
going to bully yourself. I mean, no one bullies me
harder. Than that yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
No one, no one's a worse bully to their totally been me and
probably most people to themselves.
Yeah. But for sure, for sure.
Well, we know our like, deepest, darkest fears that we think
everyone else can like, see. Yeah.
And there was. And so really like my big sexual
awakening was I studied abroad in Spain.
That'll do it. That'll do it.
Yes, and that and that was also great because I studied through
NYU and it was like all these kids that I also had didn't know
and everyone at NYU was gay and like.
That's like it must be on the application like you get.
There like 40,000 gay people. Yeah.
And so we're in Madrid. It was world pride.
Like it was like, yeah, I mean, and, and also like, you know,
like Spanish men. Were they all over you?
Tall white boy, Tall gringo. Kinda sorta maybe, I don't know.
I got pickpocketed so they're all around.
What I meant but. Yeah, it's also sexy.
No, it was, it was, it was. It was just really fun and that
made gave me a lot of confidence and.
Then did you hook up a lot? Kinda sorta like not really.
And that not with anyone in the program.
No, like just with like yeah, local guys, yeah, yeah.
But we like couldn't bring them home to like where we lived or.
Where you're probably sharing spaces.
Wait, were you going to gay bars and clubs?
Yes, I mean, definitely, definitely out in Spain, like
kind of did everything and all over Europe.
And then and then yeah, when I coming back from that trip was
like way more empowered. And also then like actually 21
to like go out in Boston to like different gay bars and stuff
there with friends and, and, and my straight friends would come
with me too, like brilliant boys.
And it was like, yeah, it was, it was cool and it was fun.
And, and then LA like I was basically like living down the
street, you know, that summer that I was out here, I actually
was staying at USC like I had a like rented A dorm room for the
summer, lol. But my best, one of my best
friends had he was living out here and and he was kind of like
my gay like maker. Wow, your groomer.
Yeah, like a true I was thinking True Blood, but when did?
You have anal that had. You had anal before you came
here, not? Till here and I used we used
like like Vaseline or something. It was, I definitely had got
picked up after. Pam.
Oh yeah, it was bad. I mean I got picked up after a
night at like Fiesta Cantina. That used to be the spot.
Show wasted, obviously. Karaoke on Wednesday nights.
Absolutely. And a two for one or whatever.
And what were they called? Like adios, motherfuckers.
AMS. Yep, blue that they were. Big and blue.
OK, wait.
OK, so so. This is like this is like me
having like anal sex for like the first time.
I'm on the edge of my seat. It was, I mean, anal.
You have to get, you have to really learn, yes, your way
around these things, yes. Anal.
My journey with anal has been anything but a straight line.
Oh yeah. And I was in a side era for
years where I was just like, I'm not dealing with it.
From diet to cleaning out to the dude not being in control or you
know what I mean? It's like so many moving pieces.
Then I'm just like I. You know what?
Mouths are just as fun. They yeah, but or they can't
That G spot though. A blackout orgasm.
If you're getting puck and you're like and you come like,
it's like a reboot. It's crazy, yes.
I, I don't understand how how straight men aren't playing
around down there all the time. I think a lot of them are and
they should be. You should be.
They are, they should be. We shouldn't witch hunt or make
fun of them also. It's incredible.
The prostate is incredible. A lot of them are so afraid.
This is so funny. And this is the metric by which
you. Get called a faggot for drinking
Diet Coke. And I wasn't, and you were.
And you were, but they were. Whoever said that was right.
Right, right. But like I if you're like these
like kids now, I mean the things that they like the the I just
watched like parts of the manosphere doc.
I know I shouldn't. I know I know I can and should
not. First of all, they're all gay.
Just them out like they're all gay.
Listening to these alpha males are so close, but they're so
close to just saying the peak form of masculinity is being in
love with another man. They are so close.
They're doing everything for male approval.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying and.
They're like, it's not even to like get women.
No, I'm just like bro suck his Dick.
Dude Spoon watch a gay movie together.
I know like watch football together, take a load in your
mouth. Take a load in your wettest.
Hole. Yeah, this is like, let's return
to like ancient Rome, the Spartans.
Like ancient. Greece like I.
Mean things will get there at some point, hopefully, and it'll
be so messy. It'll be so messy.
But wait. Speaking of messy, your first
say no. Were you on the receiving or
giving end or do you even want to talk about it?
I feel like I'm frowning you about it.
Well it's it's so hard to remember that all these things
that I was literally black out drunk during like my first anal.
Same with my 20s. I'm like, yeah.
I don't know. I was like when I was working
up, like when I could get to the space of doing it.
I was pretty drunk. OK, so then maybe just give us
the vibe of sex in in these days I.
Was definitely. I was definitely like, I think
giving more than receiving and then in with receiving.
Well, first of all, you're tall. Tall, but with receiving yeah,
it was I remember the first time I had anal sex receive it like
as a bottom and thinking it was the most yeah.
Interesting, I got the painful part the first time.
Oh yeah, it was like. Paralyzing.
Yeah. Like paralyzed.
Like shocking. Yes, yes, shocking, shocking.
Which I always find crazy when you like pass a big poop and
you're like, well that was totally.
Fine, totally. Yeah.
Well, so then here's what happened to me.
I had this. So then I'd had because like I
was on my parents health insurance until I was 26, like
everyone is. And so I was like, oh, like
doctor Schmachter, like I'll go in for everything.
So I'd gone in about Wow, what are the?
St. is. No, not St. is but like some
other like panel, not a fissure. Oh, hemorrhoid.
Hemorrhoid like yes and so I like getting into bottoming and
I was like OK, well like I can't have these hemorrhoids like.
Oh, you had them going in? Yeah.
And so I was like, I was like, I think maybe from it or
something, I don't remember, but I was like, the doctor was like,
we can remove this. And in doing that, I had this
like terrible scarring that had occurred.
On the outside or inside? On like like the lip?
Yes exactly. And it basically closed up my
asshole. Like it healed it tighter.
Yeah, like it like destroyed me and I had to have been surgeries
afterwards for them to cut away the scar tissue because scar
tissue isn't flexible. So like your asshole tissue
should be able to expand for a big poop or a Dick.
And and and so like that had like, I'd essentially like
destroyed my opportunity to bottom for.
Years and how at what point did you realize it did you keep
trying and it kept hurting and. You couldn't shit.
Oh my God. I'm at work at the agency and
I'm like, and I like sweating. I I'm like it was like you
couldn't stick a 1/2 a pinky up. You're pooping Twizzlers.
It had to. It liquefied itself to like,
come out as like, like just, yeah, it was like, very
traumatizing. So I didn't have sex after that
for like, like a year besides like, mouth stuff or whatever or
me topping. And I thought maybe I'd never
ever be able to bottom again. But time heals and.
Ask you buts. Yes.
So I feel like I'm in my bottom renaissance, really.
Yeah, OK, we but we skipped over so much We did I Do you have any
career highlights or low lights when it comes to your sex life?
Like starting when you were in your 20s when you started
getting anal with it and then you're 38 now.
So like are you, have you spent a more majority of that time in
like a monogamous partnership or an open partnership or I was?
Very, very slutty, like my whole all my 20s, like wouldn't date
anyone longer than like 6 months or something.
And was always into older guys, like always into like, like when
I was in my 20s, I was only like sleeping with guys that are like
late 30s forties, 50s really. Oh yeah.
Do you know where that comes from?
I just think they're hot. I like hot, beefy, hairy, dark
like I don't. Know the Eagle Fault line.
Absolutely. Yes, uncle vibes.
Totally, yes. And so, yeah, I, I was kind just
like hooking up and like being out and being drunk and being
fun and like, you know, doing whatever.
And and then, yeah, it wasn't like once I was in my 30s, I
started becoming attracted to guys my age.
Interesting because the older guys were like 60 because.
Well, because finally, like I think maybe like I was always
into guys in their 30s anyway. So I was like, oh, whereas like
before I wasn't in like when I was in my 20s, like I wasn't
into. Guys.
Babyface guys. And, and like, I, I think any
relationship can like, you know, work with different age
disparities or whatever, but I think there is something special
about being with someone who understands like the time that
you grew up in, you know, you're on similar journeys.
Like, you know, like when you're, let's say, if you're in
a long term relationship, like if like my partner would be like
70 now, like, you know, if I was like with them in my 20s, like,
no, thank you. Like, you know, I mean like,
that's a good friendship. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you want shorthand between a partner.
For me, yeah, yeah, for me. So yeah, I wasn't it.
It wasn't until I was in a relationship and I would I would
also like I think I've become I had I I was infatuated with some
men and I confused infatuation with love a lot when I was in my
early. Were they giving you stuff?
Were they giving it to you back? Oh yeah, they would tell me they
loved me OK, but they that they were like, like love.
Bombing or. Totally love bombing, totally
manipulative. So that's your type.
You said like you back fell into that a few times.
Dad and yeah, like with some older like hot daddies who like,
you know, were like, I like porn stars yeah, that's like that
stuff that's hot. It was hot.
They were so hot do. You know the porn star Drew
Sebastian. Oh, I of course, yeah.
Oh, Daddy's sex files, isn't that?
Crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Crazy. Yeah.
So yeah, I loved, I love all that shit, you know, like I I
just think it's hot. But.
But anyway, I like I I couldn't really I was just like mostly
topping then because of the bottom situation.
But it wasn't until I was in a actually positive good like
healthy like relationship. Had that been a goal of yours to
be in a relationship or what? Where did relationships fall in
your priorities list? They, I think I remember, like
society making me think that I wanted to be in a relationship.
Of course. But you know, I wasn't, it
wasn't like I, I thought it would happen.
I wanted it to happen in a, in a way.
And when I become infatuated with someone, I was like, I
really want to be with them. I really want to be with them.
But I don't think I understood what a real relationship was
when both partners are like. Showing up.
Showing up, choosing each other, supporting, yeah, all this
stuff. Communicating.
Yeah. And so, so it wasn't until I was
in that kind of really safe, secure partnership that I
actually was able to start bottoming again because I felt
really like I wasn't going to like be like.
Tear me open. Yeah, No, no.
So, so like that was really positive.
And had you had the the loosening surgery prior to this?
Yeah, because to shit. Oh OK, OK, OK, OK.
They they were like got it. We done fucked up and I was like
my life. The doctor did not give a a
shit. He was like, Oh yeah, this can
happen. It's rare.
I was like. OK.
And a lot of. Mind you, I know other men who
this has happened to. So it's not that rare.
It's not that rare. It's like actually I think
pretty common. Like so Reddit tells me as well.
Like I was like, damn, like. I never go on Reddit.
Sure. So.
Yes. Really.
Yeah. I mean, it's tainted now.
Scary. No, no, it's the most to me if I
wanna know something real. Answers.
Yeah. Damn.
Do you post there? No, I don't.
But like, even now, you know that like, it's just like bots
or publicist marketers, if you're savvy.
I mean, you could go and do stuff there, but I do think you
can just sift through the bullshit and even Reddit is like
a little bit under fire now from like corporate capture and
stuff. Yeah.
So it's we have less spaces on the Internet.
The Internet's not this free, open, democratic thing that used
to be. Yeah, there's overlords.
Oh yeah. And Palantir.
And like moles. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe we'll all shift to the dark web they're.
All the real ones, they're just going to be like, Oh my God, but
like they're going to be like, wow, like Jason watched a lot of
daddy porn. And yeah, can you send me some
of those links? Because I've lost, but then
you're like. Watching all this stuff with
like or like you're seeing everything come out with the
Epstein files and I'm like, these people were emailing like
that on Gmail crazy. And I'm like, I'm like, I have
nothing to hide. Like, you know what I mean?
I have nothing to hide. I was like, I have like very
people. I was like you people like I'm
like, I'm like, yeah, like sorry.
I like to beat it a couple like you know you won't.
Even find bad nudes of mine. And guess what?
When I send an e-mail, the spelling.
Is correct. Oh my God.
Sorry, like what are we doing? Like if you're.
Going to torture? Someone know how to spell the
word torture? Yeah, please.
And it has some dignity. OK, let's play a quick round of
Hot or Not. This is where I list things and
you tell me if you find them hot or not.
OK, so we'll go with body hair. Hot.
Natural scent or must. Hot.
Tattoos or body modifications? Hot.
Is there any limit to that Well? Tattoos hot.
I mean, it depends on the tattoo.
Right. Depends on the face tattoo and
neck tattoo. We're good.
Face and neck tattoos can be so hot.
There is nothing less hot than a bad tattoo.
Yeah, a bad tattoo. It ruins it.
Think. About these things before you
get them, like honestly, like put some really deep thought
into. It this is the thing though,
every man your type has the tribal going around his arm.
No, not a tribal. Barbed wire or something?
No, yes 'cause they're like 45 or whatever and they were in
born in like the early 2000s maybe.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Yeah.
I mean yeah, those can be gross, but like you can overlook those
for the enough body hair, Musk and a big Dick like.
There you go. But yeah, I do like, I like
tattoos. I like all like I like
alternative. Shirt tightness East side boys
foreskin. Hot.
Do you like that more than cut? I, I think it doesn't matter.
I don't, I'm cut and just I guess thought everyone was like
for the longest time and yeah, it doesn't.
It doesn't. I don't care about it.
Doesn't treat you either way. No, yeah, my boyfriend's cut.
Good for you guys. Yeah, I'm cut as well, but I
miss my foreskin. Foreskin.
If you're watching or listening, please come home.
Yeah, it was I, I, I do think that people shouldn't be cut
like, you know. Oh I know.
Looking back, it's it's unhinged.
And also I think instills a lot of trauma and, and, and boys
like it's like a lot of pain right away for them.
It's also made boys who are uncut traumatized.
He's they're in this minority for the most part, Yeah.
And then they're ripe for the picking on.
Yeah, I knew a guy that out here I met in West Hollywood.
He was like hanging out with my roommate at the time, hit a big
Dick and he had to get circumcised as an adult because
his foreskin didn't. Oh, open all the way, open all
the way. And every time it hurt.
Super painful for him. So you know what?
And I love the way my cut Dick looks like, and I wonder if that
would have happened to me if I'd cut my foreskin.
Sometimes people ask if I'm uncut and I think it's like the
dude took the tiniest snip off the top.
Like I might exist in like the middle.
Interesting. Dicks are amazing.
They're like snowflakes. I really do like them a lot.
Yeah, and every Dick looks different.
Balls. I did meet a Dick doppelganger
once. Really.
Yeah, he had the same. Penis.
My guy and. I was like.
Whoa has sent other guys Dick pics instead of his own because
he feels they look similar enough.
That's crazy. I agree, but he's I said does
anyone catch on? He goes never.
Not yet. But that blows my mind because
that's interesting. I always think about like how oh
you don't look like your pictures, but I'm rarely like,
you're holding up the phone to the Dick like that.
'D be crazy. Turn to the side #3 say the
following line Come. Love it.
Really like more than the average bear.
No, I mean, I'm not like. I'm not like saving it.
Yeah, I'm. Not like a I'm not like a jizz.
Junkie. Thank you episode title so close
to the end. Jizz Junkie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But but I I I like it.
Yeah, it is. Like, I mean, I do find it.
It's one of those things that I've said this so many times.
I'm so sorry, Tower Bottoms. Who you heard of this?
My interest in jizz plummets once I come.
Yeah, totally. Like it lives in this like a
potential energy space where I'm like, oh, I can't wait for him
to unload. And then as soon as I do, I'm
like, could you do that away from me?
Like off of me? Yeah, totally.
Yeah, well, I got mine. Yeah, exactly.
Spit. Like it?
OK, what about rough sex? Or sex that might leave a mark.
I don't mind hitting dudes, but I don't want to get hit.
Degradation is a no thing for you I.
Mean I could degradate someone like.
I know, we all know, we've been, we've been listening to you for
an. Hour, but but no, like, don't
hit me. Cruising into it more and guess
what? I met my boyfriend in the
darkroom. You're kidding.
Wait, cruising the darkroom is kind of like cruising?
Light, I guess, yeah, yeah, because.
It's like, definitely like a legal space in which to do.
It totally I felt like, well, are you, were you born late 80s
or early? 90s I'm 85.
Oh yeah. OK.
So I felt I I kind of feel like I grinder came out when I was
coming out. And so there weren't these
spaces that existed before as cruising spaces that even though
I heard about at my college like my friend was like that my old
roommate had. Went to go to the library
exactly. And you're like.
What? Yeah, I was like.
Scared that can't be. Yeah, yeah.
Or no, I'm going to get caught. Or like the bath.
Or like the airport bath or. Whatever.
I never had the pleasure like, you know, I I like, I like
missed out, I think because of apps apps.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like gay bars?
Yeah, and gay bars, like I'm in gay spaces like so like is
cruising me like hitting on you at a bar or like you hitting on.
Me. Oh, good point, good point.
Cruising someone in the grocery store.
Cruising someone at the gym. Yeah, and I haven't.
I've actually I've never had a good cruising experience in that
kind of way besides meeting the love of my life.
Yeah. Wait, how long have you been
with your boyfriend? It'll be four years in
September. Wow.
And then, OK, wait in that darkroom situation and you don't
have to tell too much of his story, obviously, but like, was
it like I got to see what this face looks like?
Or like, was it? There it was so hot.
It was a heat wave. It was like Aspen off and like
like September 23 and. 20. Two, yeah, 22.
And it like dripping sweat. Like I'm talking like, you know,
it was over 100°. And I saw him and I was like, Oh
my God, that guy is so hot. And I, I think he might have
thought the same about me, but I was kind of standing next to him
and I was like, I usually wait for them to make a little like a
little bit of a first move so I don't make a fool of myself,
which I do all the time. But no.
But I but some we saw something happen.
It was kind of like, like that was funny.
Yeah. And we both started laughing and
then we just went to town. And that's when you went into
the dark room or you were in the dark room.
So it wasn't even, it wasn't that dark.
No, you could. OK, OK.
Yeah, it wasn't pitch black. And were you guys naked?
We, I think Dicks were out. Sure.
It was like you would kind of get it out if you were.
Engaging, engaged, but maybe some guy walked by and banana
peeled on Lube and you're like ha ha ha and you're.
Like, yeah, okay, this is the thing.
And then, Oh my God. Then I like we went home with
each other that night and the next morning I was like, what's
your name? Do you wanna hang?
Out here, I love our culture, I love our culture.
We've been hanging out like, yeah, we've been hanging out
ever since, so. That's cute.
And it's hot. And then, yeah, we, we, we're
pretty just with each other for the first few years.
Are you gonna get married in that dark room?
Oh. My God, I hope we can.
All cram in. No, yeah, it that it was nice.
It was nice to meet someone not on the apps like, to meet IRL
and to like. I'm off the apps right now.
It's so much better, It's so. I'm looking up.
And I've never actually met anyone that I've dated and and
had a good relationship that wasn't just like an infatuation
thing that whom I didn't meet IRLIRLIRL.
The energy match is really important.
OK and the last thing in the pod is what some advice you give to
your younger self before they began their sexual journey.
Yeah, do some research like you know, know, know what's going
on, understand about Lube, understand about that's.
Tough though, 'cause when you were younger, that information I
don't think was that readily available.
I know I was being told it by like older gays in college to be
like, go into the bathroom, stick this up your ass, jump up
and down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, I don't think there were YouTube videos.
This is how you do. But even like, yeah, however,
whatever YouTube, I mean, now we do have those things, but like,
whatever, whatever, whatever research you can do, like
whatever materials you have. Like I think, yeah, having an
understanding about that and like sexual health and like, it
is important. And God, I mean, I think that
like, I, I felt pretty naive and ignorant and I was also like,
just like wasted every time I was getting together and doing
gay stuff. And that was like out of like
insecurities and coming out and whatever else.
But like, it would have been nice not to be blackout drunk I
guess. Doing those things.
So maybe stop and reflect about why you're drinking through
these experiences. Right, because also you wanna
remember them. Yeah.
And. Or maybe sometimes.
Make decisions that you remember making right.
Yeah. And feel.
Empowered in that way? I think so.
Yeah, and then where can the Tower Bottoms find love and
support you? Currently Oh my God I'm like
private on and stuff. Oh OK, you don't have to.
Or check out one of your shorts or.
OK, my short with with Zach is called Die Shirley and it's
which it's it's shadow band because it's called Die Shirley.
Oh God. And that's the lesson I would
have taught myself. That's a oh I know.
I changed my pod on good morning sodomites to good sod pod
because sodomites triggers. Shadow bands yeah, this is the
bad place right now, America and.
Right now, he said, for the 200th year in a row.
God, but yeah, so you can check that out there and you know, I'm
gonna, I might be opening things up with like my pages and and
what not. So look, look for Jason Hazard.
He'll be at in the credits of film and TV if he's not already.
I, I, I hope, I hope to be appearing more often and and to
continue creating and. It'll happen.
Andrew's going to get back. To us LV. 2 Thank you for doing
this. You're welcome and until next
time, keep sucking and fucking. And douching.
Oh, what a great, what a great
ad you're into. Hello, Tower Bottoms.
It's me, your host, Zach Newey. Towers.
Thank you so much for listening to Good Side Pod.
If you haven't already, give it a five star rating.
Leave a review, share it with a friend, get the word out.
I love you so much.