1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,800 It's me, your ho Zach Newey Towers looking sexier than ever 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,720 if I do say so myself. I just wanted to let you know 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,600 real quick that I am going on tour and I'd love to see you at 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,440 a live show. So real quick I'll be in 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:18,440 Houston, TX May 19th Austin TX May 20th San Diego, CA May 22nd 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:23,760 Chandler AZ May 23rd Raleigh NC June 16th Charlotte NC June 17th 7 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,960 Berea, California June 24th San Francisco. 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,400 I'll be at the Punchline all weekend June 25th, 26th and 9 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,840 27th. London is August 1st, 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,040 Philadelphia September 23rd, St. Louis, September 24th, Portland, 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:42,080 OR October 15th. Also, my special is fully out 12 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,080 and available to watch for free on YouTube on the Purse First 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,080 Studios channel. It's called Twink Death and I 14 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,640 think it's very good. I'd love for you to like, 15 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:57,400 comment, share if you can, And if you want tour updates, text 16 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,440 the Tower Bottom hotline. That's right, there's a tower 17 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,840 bottom hotline. It's a business line, but it 18 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,280 goes straight to my business phone. 19 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:08,160 And if you let me know your name and city, I will text you 20 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,320 directly when I book a headlining gig in your area. 21 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:18,600 So that number is 213-728-4647. Text me your name and city and 22 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,160 you'll get updates from me. Zack Noy Towers. 23 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:49,880 Anyway, enjoy the episode. Mikey Angelo, that really rolls 24 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,440 up the tongue, actually. Oh, thank you. 25 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:52,560 Mikey Angelo. Yeah. 26 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,320 My parents did their big one. You, you are a 27 00:01:56,320 --> 00:02:00,120 singer-songwriter, music producer, rapper. 28 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,360 You have a very large, large presence. 29 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,960 Mikey Grande yes. Which star is Ariana fan account 30 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,400 stuff. But now you like, it's more 31 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,000 like, it's like a lot of recaps, right? 32 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,640 Yeah, yeah. It's like a recapping pop 33 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,040 culture and just like everything that's happening on your 34 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,800 timeline and like memes and stuff. 35 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:24,560 Yeah, but you are a thriving songwriter and performer. 36 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,720 What does that look like? We'll talk about sex in two 37 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,320 seconds. But like what? 38 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,360 What's the Do you have a goal in mind right now? 39 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,120 Is it like, do you have an album out? 40 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,720 No, no, I don't have an album. Yeah, I would love to that. 41 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,760 That's actually a big a big goal of mine. 42 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,160 But right now I'm just kind of like I've, I just had my first 43 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,880 studio sessions with like music producers the other day and it 44 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,760 was like this. It's the scariest thing 'cause 45 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,040 you just walk into this room with nothing planned. 46 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,400 Like you have to create something out of nothing. 47 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,480 And like, I had been pushing that off for so long just 'cause 48 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,960 I was so scared really. And I finally did it and like, 49 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,840 it went so well. I I'm like kicking myself that I 50 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,200 didn't do it so much longer ago, but like. 51 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,800 You're doing it now. Yeah, I I ripped the Band-Aid 52 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,280 and we're here and it's so much fun. 53 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,160 And I'm like, I'm genuinely like, I see like a transition 54 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,080 from being like a Tik toker into doing like music full time. 55 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,440 And Oh my gosh. That's the dream, to do music 56 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,240 like. Wait, that's so cool. 57 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,120 The whole the session, they're called sessions, yeah, or 58 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,080 whatever. And then are you, do you like 59 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,240 date around with producers or how did you find your producer? 60 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,920 Do you what I mean? It is kind of like dating. 61 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:30,600 Yeah. It's so funny. 62 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,440 You like shoot your shot and their DMS like you're like, hey, 63 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,560 like I had to like like DM a bunch of producers being like, 64 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,440 hey, I would love to get a session with you. 65 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,880 And and like 2 of them reached back and were like Oh yeah, 66 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,680 let's do it. Oh my God. 67 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,080 Yeah, so you. Slid into the DMS of producers 68 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,160 I. Know and they and it worked yeah 69 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,680 it was great. And then with that, like you 70 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:57,560 had, how long was the session? Each session was like 5 hours so 71 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,320 it's like all an all day thing. Wow. 72 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,920 And you? Kind of just like snack and hang 73 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,320 and like what about this? Are you thinking this? 74 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,760 So you could go in with a very flushed out idea or you could go 75 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,600 in with nothing. Or are you supposed to come 76 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,600 blank slate for both of you? Yeah, I came in with, like, a 77 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,399 couple ideas of, like, stuff I would want to write about. 78 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,040 But yeah, you go in and there's no beat. 79 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,920 Like you watch him, like, make the beat in real time and kind 80 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,280 of just describe, like, the kind of music you're wanting to make. 81 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,480 And then this guy I worked with, Oh my gosh. 82 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,840 His name is Marky Styles. Shout out to Marky. 83 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,080 He it was just incredible. Like he got me talking about 84 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,440 just like my life. And I was like, it was like a 85 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,120 therapy session and it was kind of scary, but he was like just I 86 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,120 was like, I don't know if I can put into words like what I'm 87 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,600 going through. And he was like, well, just try 88 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,560 to just start talking and who knows. 89 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,960 So I started talking and then all of a sudden he started like 90 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,520 playing the piano and it was like, is this becoming a thing? 91 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,400 And then I said like a specific thing. 92 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,760 And he was like that right there. 93 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,720 That's it. Oh my God. 94 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,240 By the end of it I was like, this was so fun. 95 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,360 I I loved it so much. It was incredible. 96 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,280 I'm trying to think of what that's when he first started 97 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,280 talking about it. I was like, oh, it's like 98 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,960 tableside Glock. Like they, you come in, they mix 99 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,400 all the ingredients, the other. But that's so that's so much 100 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,160 more. That's like improv with creating 101 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,920 a song that might be around forever. 102 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,200 Yeah, absolutely. It was so fun. 103 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,360 It was, yeah. I loved it. 104 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,440 OK, so Tower Bottoms the end lookout for Mikey Angelo's 105 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:34,000 thriving music career. But to talk about sex, let's go 106 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,480 back to the beginning of your story. 107 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,440 Do you remember the first thing that made you aware of sex? 108 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,960 Or like your coochie tingle or horny? 109 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,960 Horny downstairs? Yes. 110 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,120 And I've actually never said this out loud. 111 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,600 An exclusive you. Know what? 112 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,560 We're going to get into it today. 113 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,960 Yay. I have a lot of embarrassing 114 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,280 stories, but who cares? Like it's so this, do you 115 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,920 remember the movie 13 going on 30? 116 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,840 Yeah, of course, of course. So this was circa 2000 117 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,040 something. I don't remember how old I was. 118 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:10,800 I was probably like 9 or 8 so. Young you were born in 98. 119 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was like around 8 120 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,280 years old when I watched this movie and there's a scene in 13 121 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,200 going on 30 for y'all who have seen the movie and maybe there's 122 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,360 other gays out there who can relate to this. 123 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:27,520 But it there's a scene where there's a man in his underwear 124 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,320 and he's like tighty whities and and he's like dancing on a 125 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,920 coffee table or something and like. 126 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:36,120 The Bulls was there. And I remember as a kid having a 127 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:41,080 reaction to it and like looking down and getting my first boner 128 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:41,960 ever. As a. 129 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,040 Child, like a lot of people say that you can't get boners as a 130 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,280 kid, but I was like, I was definitely bricked up as a kid. 131 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:53,600 Like so that was the first time I was like, Oh my God, what is 132 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,520 happening? And I remember going back after 133 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,440 watching it with my family and rewinding the scene and like 134 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,960 every time that scene would come on, it would happen to me. 135 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,080 And I was like, what is this? It was like is this? 136 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,360 Witchcraft. Wait, how do you play out? 137 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,640 OK, this is jumping ahead. But like, you know, random 138 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,240 boners. They happened a lot in like 139 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,920 middle school, high school. But like you're getting bricked 140 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,960 up with like family sitting like behind you or like are you 141 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,920 laying down? Like what's like how are you 142 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,440 hiding a boner? Or are you even hiding her? 143 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,520 Are you like what's wrong with my Dick? 144 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,880 That's this. That's the most embarrassing 145 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,600 part of the story is that because obviously I was an 146 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:28,960 innocent kid. I didn't know anything. 147 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:33,080 I like I told my whole family, I was like, you guys, why is it 148 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,520 like when this scene plays like this happens and like I didn't 149 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,520 obviously I didn't have it out or anything, but I was like, Oh 150 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,560 my gosh, you guys like. Kidding. 151 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,760 Yeah. Yeah, so and like my siblings 152 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,080 all scream like my, my older sisters, they were like 153 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,720 screaming and like we were playing it and like look like 154 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,640 like it was like a it was like a thing. 155 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,240 I. So it wasn't shamed. 156 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,120 They were just like. No, no, no, no, not at all. 157 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,480 Wow. Wait, was was anybody using the 158 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,920 word gay at this point? Or was anybody or was it, was 159 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,880 this like a happy memory? Yeah, yeah. 160 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,040 OK, OK, OK. Yeah, no, this, I don't have any 161 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,560 negative, like, feelings about this memory. 162 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,720 But yeah, I didn't really know much about gay. 163 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,680 I grew up Mormon, so I was like very sheltered. 164 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:21,680 Like I had no idea anything about being gay or sexuality or 165 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,680 sex at all. So it was like none of us kind 166 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,560 of really knew what it meant. It was just. 167 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:30,080 Do you remember how you first stumbled upon more information? 168 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,320 Was it like Internet vibes or I? Think it was. 169 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,039 Well, I think it's also just after that. 170 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:40,080 That was my first memory of like, seeing a bulge and being 171 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,240 attracted to it and then, you know, like. 172 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,480 Bulges are great. Bulges are great. 173 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,440 And then yeah, it's like the common thing. 174 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,400 We're like going to to Walmart or Target or something and 175 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,640 seeing the. The underwear pack. 176 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,680 The underwear and like looking at the bulges. 177 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,560 Also, I desperately wanted to undress a mannequin. 178 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,440 A full size mannequin. Those mannequins, yeah, they 179 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,720 they really be. Bulgian. 180 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,280 Yeah, somebody. Or it's a full. 181 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,800 It looks like a billiard. Like a ball, you know, from a 182 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,240 pool table. Do you remember your first 183 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,440 orgasm? Yes, I do. 184 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:13,960 Yeah. Yeah. 185 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,480 So this it kind of goes hand in hand with my first time seeing 186 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:21,760 porn and it was on accident. I was trying to look up a video. 187 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:25,680 There was like there was this web series on the early Internet 188 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,320 days called the early YouTube days, not the early Internet 189 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,760 days. It was called Salad Fingers. 190 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,640 Oh yeah. Rusty spoon. 191 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:36,320 Rusty spoon. Yeah. 192 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,360 So we were, my siblings were obsessed with it, but they had 193 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,240 like a website that specifically was was that. 194 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,160 Ebaum's world Or is that something different? 195 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,480 It was OK, OK. I felt like it was like 196 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,160 something, it was something pie mouth or something like that. 197 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,440 OK, OK. And I typed in the wrong thing 198 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,640 like I think I typed in pie. Hole. 199 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,160 Oh, OK, OK, OK. Pie hole instead of pie mouth. 200 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:01,360 And that was the first time seeing like naked erect penises 201 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:06,960 on in like anything. So I was like, Oh my gosh, this 202 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,800 I kind of I was like, this is crazy. 203 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,440 I put it down. It was like stuck in my mind 204 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,680 like the next couple weeks and then I little by little would 205 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,840 like search for that specific website again and like watch 206 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,120 more and more each time like a little bit more. 207 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:27,200 And then finally I like touched myself to it and didn't come 208 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,480 like I came, but like not nothing came out like it was. 209 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,960 Like, Oh yeah, but you had like a. 210 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,360 Yeah. And do you remember yours? 211 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,360 Like it's, it's so intense. Like I thought it was dying. 212 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,120 Like it was so scary. You are in the majority of 213 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:44,360 people who said the same thing. They're like, what was that? 214 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,880 I learned about it in like, I'm older than you. 215 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,160 We were like check out books or like movies that like had sex in 216 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,560 them from like a library situation. 217 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,400 And there was a book that explained masturbation. 218 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,840 And I was like, that can't be that can't be real. 219 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,040 Like the man will stimulate his penis. 220 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,040 And I like, followed the instructions in the book 221 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,760 basically. And I came like a like, very, 222 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,080 like a liquidy, like water almost. 223 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,400 Oh, my God. And I was like, OK. 224 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,960 And then I was like, then I was like, let's was the same for 225 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,520 you. Was like, OK, we're doing that 226 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,080 more. No, for me it was like instant 227 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:26,000 guilt and shame and like I, I remember cuz yeah, I just, I, I 228 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,200 was so sheltered I didn't know anything about sex. 229 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,600 So I remember Googling afterwards, can you get aids 230 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,000 from masturbating? Like I was like, I think I have 231 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:40,480 like an STD. Like that's how like naive I was 232 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,800 to everything. And I was like, so scared and 233 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,200 like, I was, yeah, just really hard on myself about it. 234 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:50,800 I felt like I sinned and it was like this really intense thing. 235 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,800 But then I obviously started doing it again. 236 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:57,080 And yeah. OK, talk to me then about the 237 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:02,000 influence of your religious upbringing with, like, when did 238 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,160 you realize you were gay? Did you ever identify as gay? 239 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:04,760 Yeah. Yeah. 240 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,560 When did you realize you were gay? 241 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,640 Did you fight that feeling? What, Jenny, would you talk 242 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:11,120 about it? Was it a big secret? 243 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,480 Yeah, it was. I would definitely. 244 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,640 I definitely fought being gay a lot. 245 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:20,960 But also I feel like I was the most flamboyant of my four 246 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,640 siblings. The three of the four of my 247 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,400 siblings are queer. I have a gay brother and a 248 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,320 lesbian sister. So very queer family. 249 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,240 Wow. But I was the most flamboyant. 250 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:34,280 My voice was super, super high pitched and like, I like to sing 251 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,240 Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, yeah, everybody just kind 252 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:42,080 of I I, I was called gay before I knew what gay was like at in 253 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,720 school and stuff. So it was a big insecurity. 254 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,320 And it was something that I was like, I was told so much that I 255 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,360 was like, am I? But I would I would like fight 256 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,920 it so hard. And I remember like repeating to 257 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,920 myself over and over, like you will marry a woman, you will 258 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,640 marry a woman, you will marry a woman. 259 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,640 Witchcraft. Yeah. 260 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,600 And I remember, like when you're a kid, like you really think you 261 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,160 could do it. Like I was like, I can actually 262 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,400 fight this for the my entire life. 263 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:14,000 I can just force myself to marry a woman and eventually maybe 264 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,200 I'll come around. Maybe. 265 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,120 Maybe. They don't just fall into place. 266 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,960 Maybe they can start making. It yeah. 267 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,760 So yeah, for a long time as a kid, I was like, I kind of knew 268 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:29,360 deep down, but I, I was prepared to, yeah, hide it my whole life. 269 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,760 At what point did you well, I should ask, when do you remember 270 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,680 your first sexual experience with another person? 271 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,920 Yes, yeah, that was, that wasn't until high school and it 272 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:45,280 actually was with a guy. So I'm a what do they call it? 273 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,200 A golden *? Or a Gold Star. 274 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:47,960 Gold. Yeah. 275 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,720 I've never been with a woman. Engaged with a vagina. 276 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,280 Yeah. Tell us about this guy. 277 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,960 And then at this point, had you come to terms with the gay thing 278 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,840 or were you still like, I'm going to push this down, but I'm 279 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,680 a, I'm a have a taste test. A taste test. 280 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,160 So let me get a little sample. Could I get yeah 1 scoop? 281 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,320 I want to see what this is all about. 282 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:12,760 No, I mean, even still when it I was a maybe a junior or a 283 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,680 sophomore in in high school, even still, I was trying to 284 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,360 suppress it as much as I could. It was like a secret 285 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,120 relationship with a guy that I met in drama. 286 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,880 The drama. At your school, though. 287 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,040 Same. Same year. 288 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,640 Yeah. Oh my God. 289 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,960 Wait. I love this. 290 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,320 I hope it has like a happy ending. 291 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,240 No, no. Oh, you were you. 292 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:39,040 Were in for a a rough time. OK, Does not have a happy 293 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,480 ending. No, but that was my first time 294 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,560 doing anything sexual. I remember the first time I 295 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,280 tried bottoming, it was like we used. 296 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,200 Was it with him? Yeah, I was with him and we used 297 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:55,240 lotion. And it like, did you get, like, 298 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,320 did it hurt? Absolutely. 299 00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,680 Yeah. It didn't really work. 300 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,920 And like, burning inside maybe? Oh, burning. 301 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,000 And then like definitely terrible idea. 302 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,440 Do not do not do that. I don't think anyone would but 303 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,360 like. Well, no, I mean that was 304 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,960 definitely of the 2000. Well, just, like, I'm trying to 305 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:19,080 think like, there was a period in time where YouTube and TikTok 306 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,520 weren't, like, explaining how to do everything. 307 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,840 So it wasn't like we were Googling, like, how would have 308 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,560 anal sex as a teenager, you know? 309 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,800 Exactly. Yeah. 310 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,440 Wait, but this guy was all of your firsts then. 311 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,040 Yeah. And then talk to us a little bit 312 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,840 about, like, how you sussed each other out. 313 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,240 Like how? Like was that exciting? 314 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,480 Very exciting. It was like, it was visceral. 315 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,600 Like, I remember like hanging out with him as friends and 316 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,200 like, there was just, yeah, we just had like a chemistry and we 317 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,800 would have sleepovers. An like that first experience 318 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,960 with another guy. When you're like slowly inching 319 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,560 your way to making moves like maybe you like, put your hand. 320 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:04,120 And then like there's you feel that and then neither moves it. 321 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,320 And you're just whole body is like shaking and like your heart 322 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,000 is pounding and it's just like this. 323 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,840 It was. It's crazy. 324 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,280 We all have that experience with like. 325 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,240 Yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, the first like 326 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:20,240 I wanna say five years of like hooking up with guys was very 327 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,680 that because he was like, are they gay? 328 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,720 Like OK, are they like talking to me more? 329 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,680 Like are we like touching more? And then like for me it was like 330 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:33,360 I got drunk enough or they we got drunk enough combined and it 331 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,600 just like off to the races. Yeah, was your was your first 332 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,520 kind of similar like a a friend that turned into to more than 333 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,880 friends. Or like was the I famously 334 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,200 sucked a Dick before I kissed a boy. 335 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:52,320 So it was like actually a straight guy who to my knowledge 336 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:56,400 is still straight, but maybe just like a good friend. 337 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,320 And he was like, you can suck my Dick. 338 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,160 And I was like, OK, and I did and it's great. 339 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:06,040 But then freshman year in college, I went away for school 340 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,280 dorms. Facebook was new. 341 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:14,079 Like Facebook started my freshman year in college and we 342 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:17,160 all, we found each other. Like we all all of a sudden, 343 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,839 like one of the cheerleaders for the school was in my DMS and I'm 344 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:25,440 like, hi, what's up? And then like that was I'll 345 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,720 never forget too with that guy. We made out and he, it was the 346 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,600 first time I had a guy lay on top of me, like, like his whole, 347 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,120 you know, his body weight, like, Oh my. 348 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:39,240 God, was he like a Was he bigger than you, or was he like a teeny 349 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,080 little guy? He was. 350 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,080 He was bigger than me. You said lay it on. 351 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,120 Lay it on. I didn't even know. 352 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,160 I didn't know. It was like a new sensation. 353 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,840 Yeah, for sure. But back to you with this guy. 354 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,800 OK, so you tell your first Oh, you sussed each other out. 355 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,200 Did you say yet how it happened? Yeah. 356 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,320 But it was kind of just like having sleepovers and like, we 357 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,480 would like, yeah, like, like it would be more touchy with each. 358 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,400 Other Did you share a bed or did you have sleeping bags next to? 359 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,520 Each other. We did share a bed. 360 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,520 Yeah. That'll do it. 361 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,360 I remember the first night that we finally, like, rolled over 362 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,720 and, and like, kissed each other. 363 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:13,240 It was the. Yeah. 364 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,760 It was so intense. And I was like, I cannot believe 365 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:20,120 that just happened. But the next day I was like, my 366 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,360 life has changed. Like, it was so. 367 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,200 Yeah. I just remember being like, I 368 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,280 I've never felt anything like this before. 369 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,560 It was so visceral and just. Yeah. 370 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,880 Did they have a similar experience? 371 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,680 Yeah, I think I feel like they were probably further ahead in 372 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,560 their journey than me a little bit because I feel like they 373 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,480 kind of were leading me. Like, I still, I was still 374 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,000 coming out of being Mormon and like, yeah, I was. 375 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,800 So you you walked away from Mormonism in high school? 376 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,960 Yeah. OK, yeah, like I went to 377 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,440 seminary every morning at like 6 before school. 378 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,360 And yeah, I was. I started high school being 379 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,400 Mormon. Was your family Mormon? 380 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,920 Yeah. And did they stay Mormon? 381 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,880 And how they feel about you not being Mormon anymore. 382 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,360 You know, luckily we all, my mom and my queer siblings and all of 383 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,160 our all of us, we all left at the same time, pretty much. 384 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,600 My dad's the only one who's still kind of in it. 385 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,120 But no, yeah, luckily we all left at the same time. 386 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,560 So there was no talk of damnation for gay stuff. 387 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,200 No, no, not yet. And like, we were never like 388 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,560 like strict Mormons like that. Like, I never felt any judgement 389 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,520 from either of my parents about it. 390 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,720 So, you know, that was like a really. 391 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,240 Yeah, that obviously meant a lot. 392 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,560 That was like a big thing for me. 393 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,240 Yeah, you're lucky. Yeah, it was just the church in 394 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,880 general and like what they believe was like what was kind 395 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,000 of ingrained in me. Sure. 396 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,440 So. OK, so with this boy, how long 397 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,200 were you together? And like, how did it end? 398 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:52,760 So we were together for maybe 4-5 months, which like when you 399 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,920 have your first boyfriend that's like a long ass time. 400 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,000 Also, were you thinking like it's forever? 401 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,880 Yeah, I at the time I was like, Oh my gosh, this is it. 402 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,960 Like I was like, I, yeah, it was amazing. 403 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,880 It was the first man I ever loved. 404 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,360 And like, I was. Yeah, it was. 405 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,880 We just, we were, we had to be in secret, too. 406 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,200 And there was something about, like, keeping a secret 407 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,920 relationship that was so, like, exciting and risky and like, 408 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:22,240 yeah. So that just like heightened all 409 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,880 of it. But nobody knew that we were 410 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,880 gay. He was caused to too. 411 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,600 And so we would, like, run around the drama department, 412 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,320 like, when people would leave, we would kiss behind, like, 413 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,640 corners and steal kisses. Yeah. 414 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,800 Yeah. So it was it was it was really 415 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:43,880 cute. But as these things often happen 416 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,520 in high school relationships, it got really messy. 417 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:51,280 At some point, he started getting more comfortable being 418 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,400 gay. And I was like not there yet. 419 00:20:54,080 --> 00:21:00,120 And that just caused like all sorts of problems ended up like 420 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,400 telling people about us, which I got really upset about. 421 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:09,800 And it's, I don't remember exactly what how it ended, but I 422 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,560 remember that like he egged my car. 423 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,240 We broke. We had like a messy breakup. 424 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,160 Damn, you took me right back to high school when people would do 425 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,200 shitty things like that. Like you would wake up and see 426 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,080 your car like egged in the morning and it was like. 427 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,400 Your house TP. Something. 428 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,440 Yeah. And like, I couldn't talk to 429 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,600 anyone about what happened, obviously, because yeah, they 430 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:30,720 didn't. Nobody knew. 431 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,360 So flash forward. We have this messy breakup. 432 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,040 It's like we're we're, we have bad blood and we have to see 433 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,280 each other at school. Whatever. 434 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,120 Are you both juniors still? Are you seniors now? 435 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,480 We're juniors, yeah. OK, OK. 436 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,120 My SO flash forward my my little brother, he's two years younger 437 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:50,600 than me. He joins, he he gets into high 438 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:56,840 school and he joins my drama department and I noticed him 439 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,720 starting to like kind of become friends with with this ex who's 440 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,080 and it's very this breakup is very new when this happened like 441 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,400 no more than like a month, but nobody knows about it. 442 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:12,520 Nobody knows. So I see my little brother join 443 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,200 the drama department. He makes friends with all my 444 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,960 friends which like at the time I was like can I not have my own 445 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,760 life? So I was already feeling like a 446 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,000 little territorial and like annoyed. 447 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,960 It's like a brother, a sibling thing, whatever sure. 448 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:29,040 But he they started hanging out more and more and I was like I 449 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,240 don't know what to do about this. 450 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,360 Like this is this feels really weird. 451 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,920 Also the X should know not to right? 452 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,040 Absolutely. I almost felt like he was, like, 453 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,680 doing it out of spite, kind of like, sure, it just, yeah. 454 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,200 It felt very strange. I didn't know what to do. 455 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,280 It got to the point where I started, like, hearing my ex's 456 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,800 voice in my house. Like, my brother would invite 457 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,240 him over and they would be, like, hanging out. 458 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,640 And I would have to, like, see my ex in my home. 459 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,960 And it was just like. And pretend to be friendly. 460 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,760 Pretend to be friendly. Like it was so rough. 461 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,560 I Oh my God, it was, it was terrible. 462 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,280 On the outside, did people think you just had a friend break up? 463 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,360 Because like, obviously you were like friendly to each other 464 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:16,640 before and then like, you break up and now you're like, I get me 465 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,040 away from this guy. Yeah, I forget exactly like what 466 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,880 lie. I can't like what excuse I came 467 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,840 up with for why we stopped being friends, but like I had to just 468 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:30,680 go with that. It was my only thing and so I, I 469 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,160 remember telling my brother about it. 470 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:37,040 He like kind of just brush it off and like kept hanging out 471 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,160 with him more and more. I'm thinking my brother is 472 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,320 straight at this point too. I do I have no idea that my 473 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,640 brother is also gay. Oh my gosh, insane. 474 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:51,760 So one night I finally, like, break down to him. 475 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:56,120 And I'm like, I have to tell you, this is my ex that you're 476 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:57,960 hanging out, that you're becoming, like, close friends 477 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,280 with. And I just spill everything to 478 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,760 him. And I'm like, this is what went 479 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,120 down. I'm gay. 480 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,520 Like, this is the first guy I've ever been with. 481 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,520 Can you please, like, not be friends with him anymore, 482 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,440 Basically, like stopping him around. 483 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,320 Is that OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 484 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,160 OK. So. 485 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,480 I'll close these things, but keep going. 486 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:20,560 I'm listening. I'm listening. 487 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,440 So. Oh, they're closed. 488 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,160 Yeah. Like it's, it's, it's 489 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,840 interesting how these really do just pick up your voice. 490 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,280 Oh, OK, that's good. So it's isolated. 491 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:42,440 So anyways, yeah, we had this like, long, deep talk. 492 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:48,680 I spilled my guts to him. And then maybe like a week later 493 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,920 one of our mutual friends. This is so like convoluted and 494 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,600 crazy. I'm sorry if this is like a lot. 495 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,480 No, I love it. I are you kidding? 496 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:01,400 This is like, this is like very hot Goss, but like obviously for 497 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,800 people I will never meet. Yeah, So one of our mutual 498 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,680 friends, this girl who was also in drama and happened to have a 499 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:15,760 crush on my brother at the time, she called me crying and being 500 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:21,480 like, I was at this like sleepover, hang out with your 501 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:28,760 brother and the blanks. And they started like making out 502 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,680 in front of me. And she was like heartbroken. 503 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,080 Like she was sad. She had no idea, obviously that 504 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:36,040 it was going to affect me that way, but. 505 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,280 When you had your coming out to your brother, did he also go I'm 506 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,680 gay too? No, OK, no. 507 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,760 So yeah, I still didn't know until. 508 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,040 This moment, God and like and you're like. 509 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,960 My heart sank 'cause I was like, I just like spilled my guts to 510 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,920 him about that and now they're like making out and whatever. 511 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,200 So I was so distraught that that's how I came out to my mom. 512 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,080 I just like yeah, right after that I. 513 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,720 My brother's a slut. I went to her and I was like 514 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:15,400 mom, I'm gay and so is amazing and and he's dating my my 515 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,720 brother actually came out to my mom before so I didn't like out 516 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:18,960 him like he had already come out. 517 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,200 Like you didn't know that though. 518 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,120 I didn't, but like, I was distraught I was. 519 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:28,400 No, no, no, your siblings. That's an interesting playing 520 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,720 field. Yeah, my poor mom though, like 521 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,440 just having this sprung on her that like all this, not only 522 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,360 does she have two gay sons, but they like. 523 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,080 They're Eskimo or they're, you know, Scissor Sisters or 524 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,640 whatever it's called. So I came out to her. 525 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,480 It was like this big dramatic thing. 526 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,640 She like brought me to his room and tried to like settle it. 527 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,160 And it was just, it was a mess. It was really bad. 528 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,680 Oh my God. So then what? 529 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,840 What happened? Did they? 530 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,600 They they. Ended up dating longer than me 531 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,240 and him did like they dated for like 8 months after that and for 532 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,720 the next 8 months like I wouldn't talk to him. 533 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:09,200 We had it was me and my brother had just like the worst like era 534 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,680 of our relationship ever. Like we, I, we hated each other 535 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,360 like we would not speak to each other. 536 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:19,320 I was so hurt by him and like now we we talk about it and we 537 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,320 laughed that we like had the same first guy and like I 538 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,200 totally understand just talking about how visceral and exciting 539 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,040 that experience was. That's what he was going through 540 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:28,880 too. So like. 541 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,640 And he uses an upperclassman exactly, which is like oh. 542 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,320 Yeah, so it's like, I totally get it. 543 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,920 Looking back, it's like it is what it is. 544 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,120 It's so funny now. It's just like a a funny like 545 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:41,240 high school thing, but in the moment it was. 546 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,120 Oh my God. So awful. 547 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,320 Intense. Yeah. 548 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,200 End of the world scenario end. Of the world, yeah. 549 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:52,080 OK, so this is high school. Did you have other flings in 550 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,560 high school or or relationships in high school or? 551 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,760 That was pretty much it. I think that was my one. 552 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,960 I think that was my one time. Like I had girlfriends in high 553 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,000 school too that like that was pretty much it. 554 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:09,680 It wasn't till college that I started like hooking up with 555 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,560 guys and like that weren't my boyfriend or that I weren't 556 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,600 dating. So that's when like my hooking 557 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,520 up started. Talk to us about it. 558 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:23,720 Yeah, I mean, I was grinder. I mean, it's so that was my 559 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,360 first. And where were you? 560 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,120 This was in Albuquerque, OK, Yeah. 561 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,680 Albuquerque grinder. Albuquerque Grinder. 562 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,880 It was just such a yeah, I just didn't know it it existed, but I 563 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,000 had like, heard, I started hearing things about it from 564 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:45,320 like, other gay people and it kind of piqued my interest. 565 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:50,320 And so like, yeah, I got on there and the first guy I met up 566 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,680 was met up with was a married man, actually. 567 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,160 Wow. Yeah. 568 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,560 Do you remember, like, OK, so you had this like high school 569 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,400 guy and the next thing you did was grinder? 570 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,120 Was it motivated by horniness or by wanting to be in another 571 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:11,560 relationship or just, I guess, general gay interest? 572 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:16,160 I would say horniness, yeah. I think I was just like wanting 573 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:20,760 to dip my toes back in the pond 'cause I had, I had like taken a 574 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,880 break after that experience and was like, OK, maybe I'm not gay 575 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,680 'cause that was the worst experience of my entire life. 576 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,840 Oh my God. So it took a while of like, not 577 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,480 trying to like, fight it again. And yeah, I didn't give in until 578 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,920 like, yeah, it was later on in college and stuff. 579 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,520 But do you remember the married guy scenario and is that a type 580 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,320 for you marry like a a a straight married man? 581 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,560 I mean, definitely not straight anymore. 582 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:51,080 I and I think daddies in general are like one of the biggest 583 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,400 types of mine. Like I love a daddy. 584 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:58,120 I love a good older daddy. Scruffy bears, any like, yeah, 585 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,520 just daddies in general are like a big type of mine. 586 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,760 So I think it had nothing to do with like I didn't seek out a 587 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:04,760 married man. Absolutely. 588 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,520 Not but it just I. Remember showing up to his place 589 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,240 and like I was like why is he being so? 590 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,160 Like why is he sneaking me through the garage? 591 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,080 And like it was. Was the family home. 592 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,480 I don't know. I still to this day don't know. 593 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,000 But like how I realized he was married is that I saw pictures 594 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,960 up of like him with like a woman. 595 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, like. What? 596 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,440 What are the odds that's the sister and his nieces and 597 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,600 nephews? That he's just like gay bestie. 598 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,640 Like, no, yeah, it was. So that was how I figured it 599 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:37,600 out. But this was a straight up hook 600 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:38,560 up. Yeah. 601 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:39,800 Were you nervous? Do you remember? 602 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,120 I was. Very nervous, yeah. 603 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,720 I still get nervous sometimes. Yeah. 604 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,080 Like once the plan's made and like, I'm on the way or they're 605 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,920 on the way. I like, I catch my heartbeat, 606 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,760 like, speeding up, like, OK, it's we're OK. 607 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:55,360 Like it's gonna be fine or it'll be mid and then I'll go on with 608 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,120 my life. Yeah, it is. 609 00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:01,800 It is a very scary Did was your first on grinder 2 or was it 610 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,600 like in in the wild? No, in the wild, I didn't even 611 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,840 get on grinder till I moved out to Lai. 612 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:13,320 Got grinder when I was like 22. OK, yeah. 613 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,120 And I'm actually, I've been off it now for six weeks, which 614 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,320 feels very like, like a weight has been lifted. 615 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,560 Oh my gosh, that yeah, that's amazing. 616 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,480 Yeah, it's so funny too 'cause I'm like shooting my shot more 617 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:31,280 like out and about or just like smiling, nodding, introducing 618 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,440 myself, going to things 'cause I don't know about you or if 619 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,320 you're even still on Grinder or whatever. 620 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:43,200 But like I'll like lounge at home with like TV or movie on on 621 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,560 Grinder. And it's like, oh, I can't do 622 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,480 that anymore. So yes, I can lounge at home and 623 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,760 like watch TV. But like, I'll probably go out 624 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:53,480 to watch Drag Race at like a bar 'cause there will be gay boys 625 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,800 there maybe like. I love that. 626 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,040 No, we're this is something we can bond about 'cause I haven't 627 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,840 been on Grinder in like over a year now. 628 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,760 It's been a long time. OK, talk to us about that. 629 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:09,200 What was your journey with Grinder or the apps in general? 630 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,680 I had a tumultuous relationship with Grinder. 631 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:19,680 I feel like it wasn't good for my self esteem and also like I 632 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,880 had an instance where pictures I shared with someone ended up on 633 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,320 the Internet and that was like not that was. 634 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,720 It'll make you feel so vulnerable. 635 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,280 Yeah. And it's just like, wow, I can't 636 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,600 trust anyone on here. And like majority, at least in 637 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,560 my experience, majority of the guys on there want to see nudes 638 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:41,360 before hooking up. So it's like you can't, you 639 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:45,080 can't really get a hookup plan with someone without sending 640 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,680 nudes. But I knew I couldn't do that 641 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,280 anymore because they would end up on the Internet maybe like, 642 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,720 so it was just, that was like a big part of it. 643 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,000 Was your face in the nudes? No, no good. 644 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:02,520 OK, this is what floors me. Guys be sending nudes full face, 645 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:06,600 full face, full body. There's like holding their Dick 646 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,120 like, but I'm like, bro, even if you're like a finance guy, like 647 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,000 you don't want this floating around. 648 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,880 Yeah, it's insane. Absolutely. 649 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,920 Yeah. The faces just be out. 650 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,920 My friend show me we were just like having lunch or whatever 651 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,880 and he got a text he looked at and he showed he just chose his 652 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:29,160 phone and it's a guy on his back butt hole out and his face is 653 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:35,440 like like like dude like like literally that's what happens. 654 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,160 Oh my God. Gay friend shows it to the 655 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:38,920 nearest gay friend. And he saw it. 656 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:44,160 Yeah, like. OK wait, so how's your year off 657 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:49,120 grinder been? It's, it's been good, but also 658 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:53,440 it's, it does get hard sometimes when I am relying solely on 659 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,320 meeting people in Yeah in the wild. 660 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,280 Are you on like Hinge or Tinder or anything? 661 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,240 No, I'm not I'm not on any of the the apps. 662 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,000 So it I do have to rely on meeting people in real life or 663 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,920 like Instagram sometimes like you know, Instagram with the 664 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,880 gaze there's like you connect with other gaze you find 665 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:19,639 attractive and who knows I. Shot my shot on Venmo a couple 666 00:34:19,639 --> 00:34:21,440 weeks ago. How? 667 00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:24,760 OK, how did that work? Like tell me, did you, did we 668 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,040 send a penny to someone? Could you imagine? 669 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,840 Hey, there's more where that came from. 670 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:34,239 This guy I met, I was opening for a comic and I always go out 671 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,120 to the lobby after to sell my stickers and just like third 672 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,600 donation based. It's just really a meet and 673 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:45,280 greet situation and cute tall guy talked with me for a while 674 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,920 then mowed me $25 for my sticker. 675 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,560 I saw that it was him. I'm in a hotel in like Des 676 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:56,600 Moines, IA like twiddling my thumbs and I was like hey thanks 677 00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:02,360 handsome winky face, kiss face and he was like no problem cutie 678 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,600 or whatever. And I was like what are y'all up 679 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,920 to? Like you can comment under a 680 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:08,880 transaction. So you just struck up a 681 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,480 conversation? I tried, I tried my trip also 682 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,680 like 11:00 PM on like a Sunday night. 683 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,160 I'm like, go to bed. Like leave this married. 684 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,080 He was married to a guy and they seemed both flirty, but I was 685 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,160 like, they have work in Des Moines tomorrow. 686 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,360 You're getting on a flight. Like just go to bed. 687 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,920 That is so funny. And you striking up a 688 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,360 conversation on Venmo. Yeah, like so into. 689 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,560 So oh wait, I kind of cut you off though. 690 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,080 And you said it can get hard, obviously, when you're craving 691 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,920 like human connection or I guess that's a good line of 692 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,040 questioning. Are you feeling you're in a 693 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:55,160 hookup area, a dating area, a relationship area of your life? 694 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,760 Like, do you find yourself seeking one of those things? 695 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,960 I'm definitely not in a hookup era right now. 696 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:07,000 I actually haven't had sex in like since January so it's. 697 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,120 The month is it May. May. 698 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,480 Wow. I know, right? 699 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:11,640 Oh my gosh. Wow. 700 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,080 And when you say sex, what do you mean? 701 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,880 I like penetrative sex. That's what I like. 702 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,840 So if you'd OK, what about mouths? 703 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:25,600 Oh yeah, easy. So I have to ask. 704 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,800 Follow up question, I haven't bottomed since January. 705 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,640 OK, that's what I should have said. 706 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,080 Sure. OK, OK. 707 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:34,920 Yeah, my mouth is going on a thing or two. 708 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:38,560 Super. I'm only human. 709 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,640 OK, so you're not in hookup space but like dates. 710 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,960 Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm open to, to dating. 711 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,760 I'm not like looking for anything right now, but like, 712 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,360 open to casual, like fun flirty dates. 713 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:54,440 Absolutely. Yeah. 714 00:36:55,320 --> 00:37:01,880 And just, yeah, kind of enjoying being social and single and 715 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,920 like, yeah, mingling out and about. 716 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,560 So yeah, I'm not trying to rush into anything, but I'm 717 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:11,040 definitely more in that kind of zone than like hooking up for 718 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,160 sure. OK, can you tell us any now? 719 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:17,800 You said as we started, you're like, I'm going to tell you all 720 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,960 of it. Any career highlights and low 721 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:26,360 lights when it comes to your sex life or like what what what was 722 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,040 in your head when you're like, I'm going to tell you some some 723 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,880 shit. Yeah, I mean, I, I guess I, I do 724 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,920 have a lot of stories. One of my career highlights I 725 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:44,000 would say is getting with being with my first porn star, Telus 726 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,520 in LA. It was very exciting because 727 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:50,520 like I had watched his videos and like was fantasizing but I 728 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:52,640 had shot loads to this. Yeah, I was going to say. 729 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:58,880 So that was the like I slid into his DMS and like somehow it on 730 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,520 what platform? Instagram. 731 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,880 OK. And I realized he lived really 732 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,880 close to me. And wait, when you said slid in, 733 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,760 was it like a hey, just want to say you're really sexy or hey, 734 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,680 I'm a big fan or what? What? 735 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,040 What is it? What I'm taking notes. 736 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:19,200 I'm like, how do you, how do you approach like porn? 737 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,040 Star did you Yeah, yeah, it was it was like, hey, big fan of 738 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,560 your content like that's great embarrassing about. 739 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:28,200 I mean, they must get it 72 times a day. 740 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,720 Yeah, and obviously that can only mean one thing if I'm a fan 741 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,240 of your content and you're a porn star. 742 00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,880 So like. Can I ask, are you sending it 743 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,320 from your account? Yeah. 744 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,720 Cool. Yeah for sure. 745 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:41,600 I have nothing to hide. I was like, I don't think he 746 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,680 would have seen it if I didn't see it from my account. 747 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,200 So he probably has like 1,000,000 twinks in his DMS like 748 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,560 all the time so. Is that what he normally is? 749 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,680 That who he normally FS? Yes. 750 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,520 I don't know why I just censored myself. 751 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,240 That's crazy. The things I've said on this pod 752 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:01,920 and then I just went. That is who he normally has 753 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,880 intercourse. With so did you kind of see 754 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,080 yourself reflected in his content and you're like, this 755 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,520 could be a match? Absolutely. 756 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:10,040 Yeah. There was some. 757 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,800 He's like, he's like a really big guy. 758 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,880 Like just a huge man. A huge and his whole thing is he 759 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,160 like, oh, I don't want to give it away. 760 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,320 Yeah, I know. That's OK. 761 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,040 There's a lot of guys who probably do this. 762 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:26,880 He like lifts up his bottoms. In the air, yeah, I've seen that 763 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,840 a bunch of. Them up, throw them around and 764 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,080 like, that was just something I had also never experienced and, 765 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:35,320 like, fantasized about too. So being tossed about, yeah. 766 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,800 What are your stats, how tall and how much you weigh? 767 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:42,240 I'm 510 and I'm 120 a £120. Oh my God, I'm shorter than you 768 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:50,040 and fatter than you. OK, so wait, you slid in and 769 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,480 then. I slid in and he was like 770 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,120 flirting back and was like oh I like your content too. 771 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,240 And I was like, OK, So what should we, what should we do 772 00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:58,680 about? It yeah, also like, what have 773 00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:04,080 you jerked off to which? One of my wrapping videos really 774 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,880 gets you off, yeah. Wait, so you're like, we should 775 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,080 hang out? Yeah, I was like, we I realized 776 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,200 that he lived close to me, so I was like, well, if you ever want 777 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,200 to hang out, I'm like right next door. 778 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,240 And then, yeah, he was like, oh, why don't you come by whenever, 779 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:21,000 like next week or something, like we planned to hang out. 780 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:22,600 And he followed through on that plan. 781 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,960 Yeah, Wow. So I got already. 782 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,960 I did the whole bottom routine. I was like, I can't believe I'm 783 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:34,360 about to have sex with a man that I fantasized. 784 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,840 Was that determined at this point or was it? 785 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,240 Do you know what I mean? I think so. 786 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,920 I think we didn't outright say that that's what was going. 787 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,880 To happen, but you're like, I'm going to his home I'm. 788 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,480 Going to his home. I'm not going to, what are we 789 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,280 going to do, play video games? Like I was like, I think I knew 790 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,520 what was going. To happen OK, OK, so you you do 791 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,520 share another thing, yeah. Yeah, so I got already gotten my 792 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,200 cute little crop top. I got like extra Twinkie for him 793 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:57,480 because I know that's what he likes. 794 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,560 Frosted your tips. I frosted my tips. 795 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:05,800 I swinged it up for the man. I put on my highest pitched 796 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:06,840 voice. I got. 797 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,840 It was like, I was like, it was, it was great. 798 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,640 Also just it, it was a good like ego boost for me 'cause seeing 799 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,920 the the other like super hot twinks that he fucks all the 800 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,960 time. And I was like, he he chose me. 801 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,320 I still have it. Yeah. 802 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:28,720 So I went over and it was like exactly what you see on his 803 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:33,720 videos but have so I got to like live out like the exact fantasy 804 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:36,840 that I had with him and it was just as good as I imagined. 805 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,880 How soon did the hook up start when you went over? 806 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,240 Did you like kiss at the door? No, we didn't kiss at the door. 807 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:49,360 I remember he he was coming in from like a hike or something. 808 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,600 Like he went outside, he had no shirt on. 809 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,320 He was drenched in like sweat and and like sunscreen and was 810 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,480 like I could tell he had just like hiked and then he brought 811 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,000 me up. We sat down on his couch and 812 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:06,400 maybe talked for like 5 minutes before he, yeah took control and 813 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,840 started and trading. No, he didn't. 814 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:11,680 Did you like that or did you not? 815 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,920 Like that, I mean, I'm not someone who like seeks that out. 816 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:17,000 I'm not like that's not necessarily one of my kinks. 817 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,240 Like I don't like look for that, but I don't mind it either. 818 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:23,040 I'm like, especially if it's someone I'm into like that and 819 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,280 like, it is what it is. Like I will. 820 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,720 I'll yeah, I'll take a sweaty man any day so. 821 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,160 That's so exciting. How do you? 822 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,640 Feel about sweat, are you? Oh, sweat is fine. 823 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:39,800 I always say like a a midday man where it's like he showered. 824 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,320 He did put on deodorant. Now it's halfway or 3/4 through 825 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:49,840 the day and like his scent is fighting with the fake scent. 826 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:53,520 Yes, OK. I definitely I don't want Musk. 827 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,000 I don't want it to be like, like, pungent. 828 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,640 Yes, yeah, yeah. But like, if it smells like a 829 00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:01,040 human being that I am attracted to, yeah. 830 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:02,880 Mixed with like a little Irish Spring. 831 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:06,080 Yeah, like, OK, he did scrub a dub dub. 832 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:07,440 Absolutely. I feel that I'm. 833 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:08,840 I'm pretty aligned with you there. 834 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,640 I kind of had a porn star experience too, where I met my 835 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:16,360 one of my favorite porn stars at Pride and I was like, Hey, just 836 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:20,120 got to say big fan of your work. And he's like, oh, thanks, 837 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,240 cutie. And I was like, where are you 838 00:43:21,240 --> 00:43:22,600 headed? And he's like, hey, I'm 839 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,280 following your cute little butt. And so we find out we live like 840 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,680 2 blocks away. We text, I go over there. 841 00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,600 I like fully don't know how I ever thought this was going to 842 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,640 happen. He's a huge Dick, like huge. 843 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,840 And like when it came times like he was going to like fuck me. 844 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:45,160 I was like, I definitely like, I like pivoted and I kind of reset 845 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:52,080 the room and I topped him. Look at you. 846 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,040 We and we are going to exchange who these people are right after 847 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,880 the PUD because I'm dying to know. 848 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,800 But yeah, the same guy. It. 849 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,480 I mean, it could be. OK. 850 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,920 So wait, that's a beautiful highlight. 851 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,240 And we talked a little bit. Oh, did you have a HO phase 852 00:44:11,240 --> 00:44:15,560 ever? Not really I've I've really 853 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:20,640 never had a huge HO phase like I can. 854 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,880 I think I can count the amount of guys I've bottomed for at 855 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,080 least on like 2 hands like I'm not. 856 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:28,480 How many hands do you need for topping? 857 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:32,440 Even less like one hand for topping. 858 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,280 OK, Yeah. Wait, OK, so but then what about 859 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,640 your mouth and other mouths? Oh well, that when we're getting 860 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,120 into that, the numbers get a little a. 861 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,240 Little frantic. It's like Dinesh or whatever the 862 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,640 the Indian got with all the arms in the hands. 863 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:56,040 Yeah. What is like a driving force 864 00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:03,640 when OK, if you were to create the perfect like hook up like, 865 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,200 what would that look like to you? 866 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:13,480 I, I've recently realized that I get a lot of enjoyment out of 867 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,240 just like being naked and having like hanging out with people 868 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:21,000 naked. So like maybe nowadays the ideal 869 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,400 scenario would be like prompting it as, hey, do you want to 870 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,880 exchange like massages where we just have like or something like 871 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:31,240 it's like a sexy, like naked time and it does not have to end 872 00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:33,160 up in organisms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 873 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,520 Which like is big for me. I feel like as a as a bottom and 874 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,360 I still do identify as a bottom, but for the longest time I felt 875 00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,200 like I had to always bottom. And now I'm at a point where I'm 876 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,920 like, let's like watch porn and jerk off together and like make 877 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,080 out. And that's like probably more 878 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,600 rewarding at this point. Jerking off and making out is 879 00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:56,120 very sexy and you can like take turns like oh, I'm you have a 880 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,640 little bit you're me out a little bit, maybe one of you 881 00:45:58,640 --> 00:45:59,840 bulls the other for a little bit. 882 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,400 But like this make out. Yeah, the like the build up to 883 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:07,400 what would be penetrative sex. You just stay in like the like 884 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,600 foreplay space. Absolutely. 885 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,320 And I've I've had great pleasure from bottoming, like I've had 886 00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:15,840 great moments. But now it's just like, yeah, 887 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,640 I'm at a point where it doesn't necessarily like I'm not, I 888 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:23,160 don't need to bottom now and. Is that motivated by it being 889 00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:27,920 kind of a hassle? It being a hassle and also 890 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:35,520 brings us to my career low. OK, I this is so embarrassing 891 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,280 also, but like someone has to be a spokesperson for this. 892 00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,160 Yes, I want to bring awareness to this. 893 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:45,600 OK, I went last year. I went through what is medically 894 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,000 referred to as an anal fissure. Oh yes, a tear. 895 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,760 Right, Zach? It was. 896 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,200 It changed my life. It was the worst pain I've ever 897 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,080 felt in my life. It was horrible. 898 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:01,000 I was debilitated. I swore off bottoming. 899 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,800 It was that bad that I like swore off bottoming. 900 00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:04,160 I was like, I'm never going to bottom again. 901 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:05,760 I can't risk, like, ever doing that again. 902 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:07,800 Do you know? Did you know the moment it 903 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,120 happened? No, that's the thing. 904 00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,440 I, I didn't know. I in the moment it happened, it 905 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:16,200 was like with a guy who's being kind of rough with me and like 906 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,960 that was his thing. Like he was into being rough and 907 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,360 like looking back at it, I definitely should have spoke up 908 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,880 for myself. I'm not great at like speaking 909 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,400 up for myself. Well, don't victim blame 910 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,080 yourself about the Fisher. Aw, thank you. 911 00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:30,640 Yeah, I. Appreciate that. 912 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,560 Yeah. Yeah. 913 00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:38,520 So like looking back at it, did I see how it happened, just not 914 00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,560 enough Lube? Not yeah, just it was too rough. 915 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:46,280 And was it like not Was it too much too fast? 916 00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:50,880 Too much, too fast and like a lot of yeah, yeah, very like 917 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:55,880 forceful and just not listening to my my body or whatever, yeah. 918 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,720 Trying to please. Yeah, absolutely. 919 00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:03,520 God, the plight of the bottom. I'll tell you, but like to 920 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:07,440 anyone out there who hasn't had an anal fissure, like please be 921 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,520 careful with your holes like it is you don't want to experience 922 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,240 it. It is so so bad. 923 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,440 Have you ever? Not to my knowledge. 924 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,800 OK. I but I would, it sounds like I 925 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:18,920 would know. You would know. 926 00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:20,520 And then also, OK, so this is the thing. 927 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:23,520 I, you would know more than I because you've gone through 928 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,320 this. Anal fissure is a tear or like a 929 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:32,640 rupture inside the anal cavity. And it it's very painful because 930 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,680 you obviously use your anal cavity regardless of sex almost 931 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,040 every day. So it's hard for that wound to 932 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,280 like, heal. Absolutely. 933 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:45,280 And also it's just it's obviously such a sensitive area 934 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,800 so it it affects your whole body. 935 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:53,360 Like I I could not move without like wincing in pain so I was 936 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:57,840 like bedridden for like 5 days. A pain that stemmed from inside 937 00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,320 your butt hole. Yeah, yeah. 938 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:05,600 And like the worst part was that I couldn't sleep because 939 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,720 sometimes this develops with people who get fissures. 940 00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:11,640 You're because it's so sensitive. 941 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:16,680 You will have these like spasms squeeze your that just like you 942 00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,000 tense up really fast and it's so pain. 943 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:20,520 It's like a knife shooting through your body. 944 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:24,480 So like every time I would like be drifting off to sleep it 945 00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:28,640 would happen and just like cry. It might be. 946 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,440 It was the lowest point. It was so, so horrible. 947 00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,880 So that's like to this day, that's why I'm like low key 948 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,160 haven't been bottoming, of course, of course. 949 00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:46,320 You it happened, the pain came, you thought you could maybe 950 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,560 manage it, and then did you have to see like a doctor about it? 951 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:52,840 Yeah, yeah, I went to a doctor. I went to my gay doctor, love my 952 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:57,160 gay doctor, and he was great. He like prescribed me some some 953 00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:01,520 great cream and stuff and like I had a heating pad that helped a 954 00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:05,080 lot. But yeah, I was like in hell for 955 00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,400 so long. You can fit a whole heating pad 956 00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,840 up your ass. I shoved the whole thing up. 957 00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,040 There. But do you sit on it? 958 00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:12,000 Is that how? Yeah. 959 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,800 Yeah, sit on it. And like I took a lot of bath 960 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,120 like sit sits baths is what we call it. 961 00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:22,600 How long do it take to go away? Maybe like a week total and even 962 00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,440 after the week it was still like I had to be super careful and 963 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:29,200 like also obviously wasn't eating anything that that that 964 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,880 entire day. So I lost like 5 lbs and was 965 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,920 like. Maybe it's you dreaded pooping. 966 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,600 Yeah, absolutely. It was torture. 967 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,440 It was horrible. God. 968 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:42,560 I once got a parasite from eating ass and I have not eaten 969 00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:44,720 an ass since 'cause it took about a year to get rid of the 970 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:47,080 parasite. A year because I had to do 3 971 00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,280 rounds of antibiotics 'cause it didn't, the first two didn't 972 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,440 kill it. And so you have to like space it 973 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:55,400 out a little bit and then like sort of ways of nausea. 974 00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,760 My belly would feel hot all of a sudden. 975 00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:02,200 Like it was like it literally, it scarred me in the sense we're 976 00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:06,000 like, oh, I, I, I would love to give you this pleasure. 977 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,400 There's no way I'm putting my mouth down there. 978 00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,560 I need like a pressure washer. And did you, how did you know 979 00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:16,480 that that's where the parasite came from? 980 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:18,120 I guess that's a great question too. 981 00:51:18,240 --> 00:51:20,560 It could have come they also, they could have come from like a 982 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,320 parasite, like on a lime wedge or something like that, like 983 00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:29,200 something as simple as that. But my gay doctor was putting 984 00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:33,080 the puzzle together in that way, like that's how he saw it. 985 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,840 So for a year straight you were having like waves of nausea from 986 00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:37,800 this parasite. Yeah. 987 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,600 I mean, like, but I'd have like a few days that were good and 988 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,400 then all of a sudden I'd be like, yeah. 989 00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:47,600 Oh my gosh, Zach, that sounds awful. 990 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,760 It was bad, but look at us changed. 991 00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,840 I know, yeah. Look at us on the other side of 992 00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:53,960 it. Yeah, you're going to be like, 993 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,720 obsessed with guys, Like skinny, skinny Dicks. 994 00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,240 Absolutely. And like, this was also an 995 00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:03,600 excuse to maybe like, embrace my topside more. 996 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,600 So we'll see. OK, You said you identify as a 997 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,040 bottom. What's been your journey with a 998 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,440 topping? Do you feel pressure to be verse 999 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,960 in this economy like what's that? 1000 00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,720 What? What's your perception of how 1001 00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:20,320 tops, bottoms versus and sides are like perceived? 1002 00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:24,520 Yeah, I don't feel any pressure. I actually feel pressure to be, 1003 00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,440 I get classified as a bottom most of the time. 1004 00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:31,280 And so that's kind of what I just identify as cuz most of the 1005 00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,600 time it is. And I do love bottoming, but 1006 00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:35,720 also I love topping too. Like I've had great experiences 1007 00:52:35,720 --> 00:52:37,800 topping. It's so much easier. 1008 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,200 Oh my God. It's like literally just show 1009 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,720 up. Yeah, just show up once. 1010 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:46,280 We'll figure it out on the day. Once you top and realize how 1011 00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,640 easy it is compared to bottoming it's like fuck maybe I should 1012 00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,600 just like jump ship. And also, bottoms make great 1013 00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:55,240 tops because they know what's going on. 1014 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,560 Absolutely, absolutely. You're so right. 1015 00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,080 Yeah. But I think yeah, 99% of the 1016 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,360 guys who are are attracted to me are like wanting to top me as 1017 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,480 opposed to. Sure, bottom me that's what you 1018 00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,280 kind of project. It's harder to find. 1019 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:10,520 Yeah, yeah. Then again, I feel like tops are 1020 00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:15,440 praised, like in LA maybe everywhere. 1021 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,240 I feel like guys like tops get more. 1022 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,760 I'm saying like they wouldn't see you looking kind of twinkish 1023 00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,800 and this is top. I think they're like, OK, like 1024 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,360 get back there. Yeah, that is, that is true. 1025 00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,800 Yeah, absolutely. But I like topping. 1026 00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,880 It's it's great. And I'm wanting to explore that 1027 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,320 more for sure. OK, let's play a quick round of 1028 00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:37,360 Hot or not. This is where I list things and 1029 00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,160 you tell us if you find them hot or not. 1030 00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:42,920 OK. Threesomes and or group sex. 1031 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,360 Oh, maybe like a couple months ago I would have said hot, but 1032 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:50,360 now? What happened in the past couple 1033 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,760 months? I, I just think I'm, I think I 1034 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,520 can right now because I've slowed down so much. 1035 00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:58,840 I can, I can only focus on like one person. 1036 00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:00,560 Like the thought of like a Group. 1037 00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,880 A group stresses me out. Wait but sidebar and I meant to 1038 00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,000 ask you this, are you going to naked events? 1039 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,440 Yeah, yeah, I go to naked stuff. It's like my favorite. 1040 00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,240 Oh my gosh. And then can you this, this is 1041 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,840 going back now tell me a little bit about that because I am I am 1042 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,560 intrigued by that. And I have another friend who 1043 00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:22,600 goes to them. And do they inherently turn sex 1044 00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,720 sexy? Or is it always kind of 1045 00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:28,560 happening a little bit? Just like not in eye line, like 1046 00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,640 tell us about an event. It's not sexual at all. 1047 00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:35,120 Like it's not. You go into it just getting the 1048 00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,160 joy of like being naked with other people. 1049 00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,720 It's like exciting to like be naked around people. 1050 00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:40,600 I don't. Know if there's like a brain 1051 00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:43,520 chemistry thing to that we're like returning to? 1052 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,680 Yeah, absolutely. I think most of them too. 1053 00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:48,760 They also have like designated areas for people who want to 1054 00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,200 like, yeah, play and take it further. 1055 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:55,640 But the enjoyment I get out of it is just yeah, getting to be 1056 00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:57,960 like casually naked in front of friends and like people. 1057 00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,400 I think it's so fun. I love it. 1058 00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,400 So you go with friends. Yeah, yeah. 1059 00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,360 It's like a, it's like a, they're all intimate. 1060 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,840 Like it's like friend, like game nights or like watching. 1061 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,040 Parties or something? Yeah, but naked, Yeah. 1062 00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,200 That's. So interesting. 1063 00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:13,040 It is. It's. 1064 00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:15,640 Yeah, it's really fun. It's a good time. 1065 00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:18,680 And yeah, everyone's just so free and comfortable and like, 1066 00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:23,600 it's sexy, but it's not like sexually driven or, or, yeah. 1067 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,000 So it's, it's the perfect mix for me. 1068 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,760 I I really enjoy it. I will say it does exist in this 1069 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:32,520 space where it's like, I've only ever been in like casually naked 1070 00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:36,480 at like Burning Man, which felt very otherworldly, very like 1071 00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:41,240 we're breaking society's norms. So the, the concept of doing it, 1072 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,280 it's kind of exhilarating to think about. 1073 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,760 Absolutely. And and and when it's innocent 1074 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,160 and it's friends you trust and so like, that's like, yeah, why? 1075 00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:50,800 Why not? Why not? 1076 00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:54,120 Yeah. Oh, OK, back to how are you 1077 00:55:55,800 --> 00:56:00,680 fingering or getting fingered? Not really. 1078 00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:04,440 Yeah, not these days. Not again. 1079 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,200 I was the Fisher before the Fisher. 1080 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,360 I would have been like, oh, hot. But I think the Fisher was born 1081 00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:13,280 from a couple fingers. And like a jagged nail or 1082 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:15,600 something I. Think it was the fingering, 1083 00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:19,720 'cause it was like very rough fingering, bam, bam, bam, bam, 1084 00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:21,360 yeah, like boom, boom, boom. I'm like, whoa. 1085 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:22,720 I don't like that. Me either. 1086 00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:24,120 Yeah. Also, like, if you're going to 1087 00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:27,720 jackhammer, baby, it better be the last 30 seconds of this 1088 00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:32,760 experience. I don't need to be pounded into 1089 00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,680 submission. Absolutely not. 1090 00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:36,120 Not yet. That doesn't feel good for 1091 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:40,080 anyone. Sex in a public space where you 1092 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:45,800 could potentially get caught. I'll say hot. 1093 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:46,560 OK, Yeah. I've. 1094 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:47,520 I've never. I've never. 1095 00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:49,520 Had OK, I was gonna say did you have anything like that? 1096 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,080 So that maybe that is why it's hot to me just 'cause it's like, 1097 00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:55,120 yeah, I've never done it. I've seen videos online that I'm 1098 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,200 like OK I could get into this. Right. 1099 00:56:59,240 --> 00:57:02,320 One time I was so drunk and my friend was like, we were outside 1100 00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:04,400 of the Eagle and he's like suck my Dick. 1101 00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:06,160 And I was like, what? No. 1102 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,600 And he was like, he pulled his cig out and I hadn't seen it and 1103 00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,160 it was like nice and like pretty hard. 1104 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,840 So I did for a little bit and I was like, and we were like out 1105 00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,680 on the street, like they're by a dumpster, but like out. 1106 00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,280 And I was like, it was more random than anything. 1107 00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:22,000 I think it was just exhilarating because it's like, this is so 1108 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:26,680 weird. Yeah, we already said natural 1109 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,160 scent and you said kind of basically. 1110 00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:32,440 Yeah, I'm I'm the same with you. Like not too much, but a little 1111 00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,680 bit is fine. Come. 1112 00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,880 Hot. Where's your favorite place to 1113 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:42,960 come or become? Favorite place to come is. 1114 00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:50,600 Oh, it could be person to person too I guess. 1115 00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:54,680 Yeah, I guess it depends. Like if I'm if I'm bottoming my 1116 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,520 favorite place to come I guess is like on his chest. 1117 00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,240 Like if that's hot. Are you like sitting on it? 1118 00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:03,200 Yeah, like that's great. That's how if if I bottom I have 1119 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:06,640 to start sitting on it so I can like control. 1120 00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:10,480 Control the yeah, absolutely. So that, yeah, that's probably 1121 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,160 my favorite place is like on a nice hairy chest. 1122 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,080 Oh, yeah, of your bear. Yeah, I would. 1123 00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,720 They love it too. Yeah, you're gonna. 1124 00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:21,400 You're gonna come for me, boy. Kung Fu, Daddy. 1125 00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:22,680 Oh. My gosh, I feel like I'm 1126 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,880 watching 13 going on 30. I'm getting hard in here. 1127 00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,640 Daddy like saying like the the the role daddy. 1128 00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,760 Hot. Yeah, very hot. 1129 00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,520 Yeah, 'cause you're your boy. Yeah. 1130 00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:39,000 I have had guys like take it a little too far before. 1131 00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,440 Oh no. Yeah, for like. 1132 00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,920 You're gonna go to church with me tomorrow. 1133 00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:48,120 We're going to see your Nana. I had no, literally I had one 1134 00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:51,240 guy that was like, it was it's hot to be like, Oh, daddy, 1135 00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:52,760 that's like as far as I'll take it. 1136 00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:58,360 But like he this one specific guy was like he had a very 1137 00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:02,240 specific like role for me as like his youngest son. 1138 00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,520 He was like, don't tell your older brothers about this. 1139 00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:07,680 So get jealous. Don't tell your older brothers 1140 00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,320 about like your special time with your dad And like it got a 1141 00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,280 little too like. I think he's reliving something. 1142 00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:18,760 So that's why I was like, are you, what's going on here? 1143 00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,640 Yeah, I wouldn't like that. Yeah, but I wouldn't. 1144 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,720 Daddy as a as a role, as a concept is hot to me yet. 1145 00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:28,440 There's like a muscle Jack that I blow every other month and he, 1146 00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:32,880 despite him being like 27 years old, he calls me boy and I call 1147 00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:36,480 him daddy. And I just think it's so funny. 1148 00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,320 Like it's hot in the moment, but then afterwards I'm like, we got 1149 00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:43,360 to stop. That's, that's crazy. 1150 00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,400 That's your daddy. That's my daddy. 1151 00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:48,560 Well, Jeezy, daddy, you know, he's big. 1152 00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,520 PDA hot. Yeah. 1153 00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:57,720 I mean, it depends on the setting of course, but like 1154 00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:02,560 definitely hot if we're at like VPL in at precinct, so hot. 1155 01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,360 Yeah, love that. Have you been to SMD? 1156 01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:07,800 I have, yeah. How was that? 1157 01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:08,600 Another. Another. 1158 01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,160 Yeah. Another great place to have some 1159 01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:11,120 PDA. It was. 1160 01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,240 It was great. Is that what we're calling it? 1161 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,000 PDA. Yeah. 1162 01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,040 Affection. Yeah. 1163 01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:22,360 Public display of erection. Wait, have you hooked up in a in 1164 01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,840 a dark room? I've never hooked up in a dark 1165 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,320 room. The the first dark room I ever 1166 01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:31,880 went to, someone asked me to take a picture and like I don't 1167 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:34,080 get stopped a lot like it doesn't like I don't get stopped 1168 01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,360 on the street like every day. It's not like a thing that. 1169 01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,200 Happened. We are recognizable and you have 1170 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,720 millions of followers. But yeah, this one darker my 1171 01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:46,320 went in happened to I happened to get recognized in and in 1172 01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:50,520 front of like a sling and like people like playing all over 1173 01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:52,680 asked if he could take a selfie with me and. 1174 01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,200 I was like, that's. Crazy, It was crazy you. 1175 01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:59,360 Did you do it? OK, you're like, you know the 1176 01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:00,760 answers. I know I got really 1177 01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:03,080 uncomfortable when I was like, I think I just like immediately 1178 01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,320 laughed and I was like, all right, that was my one darkroom 1179 01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:07,920 experience. I promise they're not normally 1180 01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,360 like that. Thank you. 1181 01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,080 Yeah. Could you imagine a flash going 1182 01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,800 off in a darkroom? You see like the horrors all 1183 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,320 around you. It's like a crime scene, all of 1184 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:17,680 a. Sudden the blue light like. 1185 01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:24,920 Oh my God, that made me think of 10 let's say feet 'cause I can't 1186 01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:30,920 think, not for me. OK, eating ass hot. 1187 01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:35,240 OK, Would you prefer to eat ass or get your ass eaten? 1188 01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,160 Get my ass eaten for sure. Yeah. 1189 01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:40,560 If I'm going to eat ass, it's like usually it has to be like 1190 01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,520 someone that I'm like dating or like really close with. 1191 01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:50,520 Sure, it's a it's a privilege, not a right spit. 1192 01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:53,960 Did these daddies spit on their boy? 1193 01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:58,480 Some of them have been known to, oh, I'm going to say not. 1194 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:01,760 I'm like not too big on spit. Like if it happens in the moment 1195 01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,840 and it's like really charged and like short but I don't. 1196 01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:06,240 Like, yeah, you're not waking up in the morning. 1197 01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:09,680 I hope I get spat on today. Degradation. 1198 01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,600 Hot. Interesting. 1199 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,440 So then you probably like Dom sub stuff. 1200 01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:21,920 Yeah, yeah, Being tied up. Hot. 1201 01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,880 But I've never. Yeah, I don't think I've ever 1202 01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:25,640 been tied up. Yeah. 1203 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:29,120 I hooked up with a guy once. Oh, God, I must have been 19, 1204 01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:34,000 and I was drunk and I met him online of some sort and he 1205 01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:36,520 wanted to tie me up. And even in my drunk super, I 1206 01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,720 was like, no, yeah, I don't know you. 1207 01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:41,600 Yeah, that's no one knows where I am. 1208 01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,800 I'm not going to willingly get tied up. 1209 01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:49,640 Yeah, it seems like common knowledge, straight guys. 1210 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,880 No, not. I know that's something that 1211 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:56,160 really went away for me too. Yeah, like big time went away. 1212 01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:59,680 It's like I cringe at the thought of like being industry 1213 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,000 guys now. Be by and then we'll talk. 1214 01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:04,440 That's hot A. Bye, guy. 1215 01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:05,480 Oh, wait. Bye, guys. 1216 01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:07,120 Bye, guys. Hot. 1217 01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:07,960 Hot. OK. 1218 01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:08,680 Hot. Yeah. 1219 01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:15,160 Choking. Not OK. 1220 01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:19,240 Yeah, especially like it's like in your like, if it's like 1221 01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:21,560 someone that I'm just meeting and they're start choking me, 1222 01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:24,360 I'm like suddenly I start panicking and I'm like, what if 1223 01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:26,520 this goes too far? And like, I don't know. 1224 01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,120 I listen to a lot of true crime and like. 1225 01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:30,400 Same. And yet I'm still out in these 1226 01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,960 streets. Hey, can't bring a hoe down. 1227 01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:36,640 OK, the last thing in the pod. What is a piece of advice you 1228 01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:40,480 give to young Mikey before he began his sexual journey? 1229 01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,080 Are they? Are you he that they? 1230 01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:43,200 He him. No, he him. 1231 01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:48,280 OK, OK. I would tell the young Mikey to 1232 01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:54,120 just be careful of putting yourself in situations with with 1233 01:03:54,880 --> 01:04:00,120 guys where you'll feel taken advantage of or like you'll be. 1234 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,640 Yeah, just use your voice, like speak up for yourself and like 1235 01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:09,760 don't put yourself in situations where you might be in for more 1236 01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:11,920 than what you're ready for at the time. 1237 01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:15,640 You're, you know, you bring out something so real because 1238 01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:18,680 there's this also thing of like coming of age as a gay man. 1239 01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,440 I don't know how it is now, but when you were, and definitely 1240 01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:25,680 when I was like, there weren't many people guiding us. 1241 01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:30,080 We were really relying on the guys that we hooked up with to 1242 01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:35,320 be respectful, be kind. But they had no one probably 1243 01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,680 that was guiding them either. So it's a really like slippery 1244 01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:44,120 slope when it comes to finding out what you are and you are not 1245 01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:46,600 OK with. Yeah, that's such a good point. 1246 01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:50,240 And like, yeah, they, they a lot of times they don't know where 1247 01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:52,480 you're at and your sexual journey. 1248 01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:54,360 They don't know what, what is too much. 1249 01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:59,960 And for me, my yeah, it's like, I don't, I didn't always have 1250 01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:03,680 the courage to be like, oh, whoa, whoa, this is not this is 1251 01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:04,680 too. I'm not ready for this. 1252 01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:06,680 And I would. Kind bear it. 1253 01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:09,520 Yeah, exactly. Which is, Yeah, it's like that's 1254 01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:11,520 a big part of yeah, what you, what you said. 1255 01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:14,400 So I, I do feel like that's the advice I would give to myself is 1256 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:17,400 like, yeah. And then lastly, tell the Tower 1257 01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:19,160 Bottoms where they can find love and support you. 1258 01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:23,400 Aw, Tower Bottoms, you can find me on all social media platforms 1259 01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:28,600 under Mikey Angelo where I update the world monthly on all 1260 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:31,800 things pop culture and yeah, Spotify and Mikey Angelo just 1261 01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:36,160 put it on a new song with Jinx monsoon Cool and yeah, going to 1262 01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:40,480 be releasing more music soon so. Of course, thank you. 1263 01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:43,920 And until next time, keep sucking and fucking always. 1264 01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:50,000 Hello, Tower Bottoms. It's me, your host, Zach Newry. 1265 01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,840 Towers. Thank you so much for listening 1266 01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,640 to Good Sod Pod. If you haven't already, give it 1267 01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:57,480 a five star rating. Leave a review, share it with a 1268 01:05:57,480 --> 01:05:59,800 friend, get the word out. I love you so much.