Yeah, more. Give it to me.
Yeah, more good. Morning Sad mites Zach Owie
Towers. Boop Jake Cornell, I crack that
bitch. There's.
Something so this lighting and this it just like it feels like
we're making only fans video like so.
Yeah, it feels very yes, yes, yes, very casting cults, very
amateur. It's very, yeah, it's very
casting. Cast Speaking of only fans, is
that your preferred Do you watch porn?
I do watch. Porn And is that your preferred
source? Like are you a homemade girly or
a studio girly? I'm not studio.
Me neither, I don't like it. I don't like fake.
And script I'm like.
Do they even like? Their old studio.
You know how you have like your classics that you return to?
Yes, but even those age out sometimes.
Some of them do, but there's a few that have like stood the
test of time that I will return to but I don't watch new studio.
OK, got it. Got it.
Got it, got it, got it. But there's like some oldies
from back like that. I've probably been, I've been
like watching since I was like. What I'm trying to think too,
OK, Like, have you heard of RFC? It's like raw club.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is that studio because it
feels very amateur. So does sketch, sketchy,
whatever. Wait, I was sorry, I thought you
meant like sketch comedy. Don't worry, we'll get there.
Yeah, God, what if I told you was making jerk off to SNL?
No, it's not. Sure, you jerk off to your own
improv like recordings. I just thought I'm brilliant.
I secretly taped my old UCB auditions and I just crank it to
them. Oh wait, people get so mad at me
because I'm I'm very bad at introducing my guests.
Oh yeah, let's do it. You're.
A comedian. Hi, I'm Jake Cornell.
I am a comedian. And what other labels would you
give yourself Actor. Actor.
Writer. Writer.
Big old. Gay guy, Big gay guy.
Yeah, those are my thing. The boat we are on is rocking
so. Much I know it's.
Crazy. Up on the up on the top deck,
the pool, the water is sloshing, waving out of the pool.
It's actually kind of crazy. Twinks just get launched into
sea. Yeah, I keep on thinking I'm
drunk and then realizing I haven't had a drop of alcohol.
I'm just this boat is like rocking like crazy.
A drop of alcohol today, yeah. You know, yeah.
You've seen a guy and I was like, well, I was just like
confirming. What have you gone out that my
public persona was that I was sober but you like.
And I'm like. Secretly I'm like just a full.
I feel like that. PS people know I'm sober.
Like at my sister's birthday everyone said I was like should
I get a drink? And like everyone freaks out.
I love that. It's fun.
It's funny. People like your mom to make my
mom to scare them. My mom I just walked into sex
from having a full panic attack because my mom decided to text
me you need to call me and then not answer the phone for 10
minutes and then when she and then she did answer and said I
can't talk right now. She's like in an ambulance, you
know, like, why? Can't you talk?
Yeah, well, it turned she did have a valid reason she couldn't
talk. But I was like, you can't send
that text until you can talk. No, she loves the drama.
She lives for the drama. OK.
So you've listed all your OK and you were UCB by yeah?
Back in the day. And now you're stand up and also
doing improv and stuff. If I get asked like back in the
day I was like on a UCB team. I was teaching at UCBI.
Was like doing. Yeah, like I was hardcore at UCB
and I was like, I was like on a team.
I was coaching one of the other teams and I was teaching
classes. So I was like living at that
theater. So.
And then, you know, after the pandemic and like my career kind
of started to get better. I like didn't have time, so I
don't do like like I could never.
I don't have the time to be like on a UCB team or like on an
improv team. But whenever they ask me to go
do a show, I do unfortunately, like, fucking love doing that's.
Amazing. But I always say like, in terms
of like, what kind of I, if they ask me to do it, I'll do that.
I'll act, I'll write, I'll perform.
You'll totally be like the when I went to Groundlings when I
first moved here, like Maya Rudolph would come and like do a
show, like just be part of the ensemble and I'm watching
fucking SNL legend. I know, but it sounds like
you'll be that type of person too.
I'll do improv whenever if I'm free with my friends.
If it's with my friends and who are like make me laugh, it's the
most fun. It's so silly.
Did you have overlap with Pat Regan?
Like I know Pat, we're friends, but he I don't like we were
never on it. I've never done, I don't think
I've ever done improv. With it, OK, got it, got it.
But. He was like on a team when I was
taking classes and. So was he like a celebrity to
you or did you guys everyone like that?
Everyone when I moved to New York when I was 21, like when I
first moved to New York, everyone who was on the the two
shows are called like Lloyd and Harold Night.
They were all celebrities to me, like celebrities.
Are some of them bona fide celebrities now?
Yeah, a few of them are. Wow.
Yeah, that's cool. I'm.
Trying to think of who is this one?
One of the guys who's been like an SNL writer for like, ever.
That's cool, I'm trying. To I'm blanking on anyone.
Else it's OK. There's a real pipeline though,
and we've seen it time and time again.
Or they will be revealed in the next 10 to 15 years.
Of course, yeah. OK so let's talk about you and
your sexual journey going back to the beginning.
Do you remember the first things that made you like horny and or
aware of sex? Oh, I have a very specific
thing. I have a very specific story.
Was so my one of the houses I lived in growing up?
One of the houses. Like, sorry, that made me sound
rich. No, no.
No, moved opposite. OK, OK, OK.
OK and divorced parents so. Like two different houses.
Yeah, but one of the houses we lived in for like a good chunk
and that was that was my parents split up as we moved in.
We moved in as a family when we left broken but.
Lifetime originally. But absolutely, the way it was
laid out was the second floor was a balcony that looked over
the first floor, OK. I love that.
Yeah, it was nice. And so you could see.
An aerial view. Yeah, you could see the living
room from like right outside my bedroom.
And so I when I was like a kid, I really, I had like a big
complex when I was a kid about going to bed.
I really didn't want to ever go to bed.
I like lived in fear of it. Nothing's changed.
I'm not, that's the opposite. Now I like take naps all the
time. I do stay up late but I take
yeah, but I used to really hate going to sleep and so it.
Was a fear thing. Yeah, I think it was a response
to my parents divorcing. I became obsessed with the idea
of like a home intruder or like getting killed.
And so I was, I was, I like it was like a whole thing, but it
actually was kind of the best thing that ever happened to me
because my, I started, because I got put in like anxiety and
panic attack coping therapy when I was like really little like 7.
And I think like your your brain is such a sponge then that I
like onboarded anti anxiety and like anti panic attack.
That's amazing you identified it early on my.
Parents did, my mom did. And so I feel like when I talk
to people who have really bad anxiety, I'll like be like,
well, you can just do that. Like I I know I'm very good at.
Like yeah, and. They're like, well, I have.
They're like, well, it's really bad for me and I'm like, OK,
fine, whatever. So it was kind of the best
anyway. But the point of this is so I
would, I hated going to bed and I hate and I never wanted to
fall asleep. And I, I was, so I figured out
that I could at night, I could slip if I like, if I left my
bedroom door open, I could slip out of it and like stand flat
against the wall and look down into the living room.
And I could watch the TV that my mom was watching.
OK, so I would watch. Like HBO type shows?
It no, it was it mostly. It was honestly like SNL and
Fallon or it wouldn't have been Fallon.
It was like Craig Ferguson and Conan and like she never really
watched Leno or she watched Letterman a little bit.
She never really watched Leno, but I would watch all like late
night TV from the balcony hiding.
But one night I came out and she was watching the MTV Movie
Awards. And it was the year that Sarah
Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair won for best kiss.
And they played the kiss. And that was the first time I'd
ever seen like, hardcore tongue kissing and same sex.
And I feel like. And that was enough.
I feel like it literally like puberty started, like my body,
like I was like, what's happening launch Yeah, like, and
like that from that moment on, like I feel like.
Wow, you were 17. Yeah, I was 17.
I was 17. I'm I'm 45 now.
OK, that's fascinating though. Did you know then that you liked
Boys? And you?
Are you are gay? I am gay.
OK, He just outed me, but no, I I remember.
I don't remember. I don't think I knew I liked
boys then, but I remember I was like told gay before I ever came
but knew I was gay. Like such a fabulous.
Child, of course, like that's a gay.
Person and so exactly and so I remember this one moment of
being in the dugout at Little League and like I don't know if
I saw someone swinging a bat or saw a boy in and I was young.
I was probably like 12-11 and seeing, I just remember like in
being in the dugout and suddenly being like, oh fuck, I am gay.
Like realizing, yeah, I like boys, yeah.
Were you good at sports? No.
Oh God, no. Really bad.
Was it like your parents made you do Little League?
I had to do yeah, that my parents made me play sports like
I think from like 4th grade to maybe like 6, like 4-5 and six.
And you're like, Get Me Out of here.
Oh, I hated it. I had to do baseball and soccer.
I. Had to do baseball, basketball.
Oh my God. I I don't think I was ever on a
soccer team. I think it was just baseball and
basketball. Sure, that's enough.
Yeah, I remember at like a Little League baseball game,
they felt 10 hours long. They felt so unbelievably long.
I just remember being like, we've been here for days.
Did you have this, the rain out where it's raining and they
cancel? I mean, that would have been the
best thing in the. World for me it didn't.
Happen. I don't think it ever did.
Oh, we had rain outs and I I be remember being in the station
wagon. The pelting rain is coming down
and then they call it and I'm like.
The relief have it on Earth. Of not having to be a male
performing oh little boy. Absolutely.
Yeah. Like not having to live in
constant fear. Do you remember your first
orgasm? Yeah, yes, I just jerked off.
Did you know instinctively or like what was was there any lore
to it? Were boys talking about it?
I. Think, I think someone told me
about it. I remember the first time
someone talked to me about an orgasm, this kid in my class and
I must have been in elementary school.
I thought so I must have been in like 6th grade.
He said to me about an orgasm and I was like, what is that?
And the way he described, I remember the way he described it
is like, it's like you're, he's like you're having sex and then
you just stop. And I was like, so that I was
like, he. Fully had not had 1A. 100%,
there's no way. Yeah.
And I was like, I remember being like, it doesn't make sense to
me that they would name the. Act as stopping, yeah.
So I was like that can't be right and I'm being so confused.
And I also remember the other thing was there was I grew up
that house that I told you about had was a dead end.
And all these kids my age lived on it.
And we were all were like, we're friends.
Yeah, it was cute. Very strange.
Thing very strange thing and we would ride bikes and there was.
Do you have walkie talkies? We have, yeah.
We did have walkie talkies because one of the kids was like
military obsessed, like all of we would do like a lot of guns.
Yeah, like the fucking T dance yesterday anyway, so.
We are also for those listening. Oh, do they not, Jake?
And I are Well, we're on a gay cruise.
We're on a we're working on a gay cruise.
We're standing up on a gay. Cruise, that will be a part of
this conversation. It has.
It has to be, yeah. You know what's so funny is
Dylan and I just did this pod and we did not talk about the
cruise. That's crazy.
They just like this is your living room.
No, but I don't. I think most people listen and
they don't watch. There's like 1000 people who
watch. That's a lot of people.
Yeah, but we got. 1000 people who could think this is your
living room with this artwork? Could you imagine the artwork on
a cruise ship is? Haunted, insane.
So insane. Haunted there's.
Have you There's a piece with a little girl's legs coming out.
It's like 3 like the it's legs where?
Coming out on the boat. I hope I never see it again.
I. Hope I never do.
It is crazy because some of it. So we're on a gay cruise, but
like, this boat is not. It's just a Royal Caribbean.
Yeah. And then they, like, charter it
for this thing. And some of the artwork, I'm
like, is that always up? Because that feels gay.
Yeah. Like there's that one restaurant
that has like the women on the wall.
Yeah. Like this feels very gay.
Totally. Also there's but there's one
with like it by urinals and a person's looking at with
binoculars. That's good that yeah, right.
That's. Literally.
Yeah. Yeah, so it's interesting.
Why did what wait? But I I distract what did you
ask me before that I distracted with the lore of?
Coming. The lore of no, I remember you
would ask me when I it was like first orgasm and stuff.
What I was going to say was so on that street there was this
one of the families was really, really, really Christian and the
oldest kid in like our neighborhood group was the a
girl in that group. And so she got the sex talk
first out of the Fiona neighborhood and she was so I'm
it's obvious that like whatever her like weird Christian parents
like like the the way they had that the.
Metaphors and cagey that when? She, of course, immediately
relayed the sex talk to all of us.
She told us that the way babies were made was that the guy, the
guy removes his full testicle and puts it inside.
Oh no, it's that horrible game of telephone once again then.
Puts it inside the mother and then that testicle becomes.
Like it becomes the baby. Oh, it's so close.
And it was like, but I remember and she was telling us and we
all were like. And then I was like, you're one
of three though, like I was so. Bald she was.
Like she was like, it must grow back.
And then like, and I was like, oh, I was like, I was like,
there's no way. That's right.
I remember being like, there's no way.
But then and this like is the most haunting part of the whole
thing. One of the kids was like, does
it hurt? She goes, she goes.
My mom says it feels like kind of good.
That's hilarious that couple had missionary however many kids
they had that many times. Yeah, that is wild.
I know. Were there any?
OK, I've talked about this several times in the pod.
Some of the hottest people walking this earth are siblings,
older siblings, friends. Oh, that's really true.
Some of the hottest people in the world are your oldest.
Yeah. Yeah, that's.
Like, true. And that, my version of that is
the worst things that have ever happened in the world happened
to your friend's cousin. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Oh.
For sure the worst things that have ever happened.
To someone Happened to your friend's cousin, Yeah.
It's urban legend territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a most vulnerable population, OK.
So did you have any? So you've jerked off?
Yeah. Do you have any?
What is this podcast? I'm gonna say you have jerked
off. You have jerked off.
Your Honor, the the plaintiff has jerked off at this point.
No. I was gonna say, when was your
first experience with another person?
How soon after was it that you started?
Coming years. OK, And was it girls?
1st or boys first I've only ever had.
Been with men? Really.
Have you made out with girls? No, really.
No. I like kissed.
A girl like a pack. But I've never made out with a
girl now. Interesting.
I just often did it as like a party trick in like high school
and college. Yeah, no.
Like that? No.
Never. I literally don't think ever.
That's so cool. OK, wait, so talk to me then
about your first sexual experience with another person?
I. Hooked up with the director of a
community theatre play I was in, but he was also a teenager.
Sorry. Oh my God.
I was like that sounded. Stronger for a second, do you?
How many? Crimes have been discussed on
this podcast. Like full, yeah.
I it was a sleepover with and I like, I was like 14, he was 15
or 16. He was the director.
Of a musical. Yeah, we.
Had I had this really crazy like thing in my hometown where there
was like a this teenage gay guy kid who his parents gave him
money to start a theater company and he was he brilliant.
I would say it was impressive what he did for being a
teenager. Like, looking back on it.
Yeah, like, it was. But it was.
I mean, he's not. It's not like he became Julie
Taymor or something. But like, he did like, looking
back, I do have to give him credit, like, oh, I don't know
that I could have done that when I was 15 or 16.
Was he hot? He was cute.
He was. Like a cute like Italian guy,
Like he wasn't, it was very much I'm from like rural Vermont.
So it wasn't like there was like, oh, here are the gay guys
and then you can have sex with the hot one.
It's like there is a gay guy. Was he out?
Is starting. A theatre company like the most
expensive he was out he. Was out at that point I think OK
and you? Were not no, I came out.
When I was 16. OK.
Yeah. So.
Talk me through this first hookup.
Like was it exciting? Was it?
Was it just functional? It was exciting in the sense
that like, it was happening, yeah.
But I feel like, I don't know, why don't you feel like when I
look back on the sex I was having or like the hookups I was
having when I was a teenager, it's so not, it feels so
different than anything that happens now 'cause it's so like,
yeah, like it's very like I look back and like, oh, that doesn't
even feel like me anymore a little bit.
But I was like very nervous. I was very much like to secret.
How does this? All.
Yeah, Totally, totally, totally, totally.
I think that like I remember. Yeah, we just like blew each
other and then I the only thing like I remember like not really
knowing what to do when he was finishing.
So I kind of like pulled away immediately and just went like,
oh. No, I was kind of like, uh.
Oh, you're like I love. It.
I was like, I was like really afraid it was going to get in my
eyes. I was pink.
Oh. Oh, have you since gotten jizz
in your eyes? Yeah, of course.
Yeah, I cry. OK, it's just so painful.
One of the top. I remember one of my
girlfriends. Like sunscreen in the eye.
Touching the. Eyes are worse.
One of my girlfriends in high school at one time sneezed as
she was swallowing and it came out her nose and it burned.
Really. I think about it.
All the time. That's horrible.
OK, OK, so did you are any of
the things that you crave doing when you were a young gay, are
they still in your sex repertoire?
Like like do you lean toward is the first thing you did was oral
with this guy? Is like oral still a big part of
your sex life? It is but.
Usually in lead up to like full sex.
Yeah, I'm not. Super.
I'm not very. I'm not much like a side.
Are you even? Like into foreplay?
Or would you rather just like, spit on it and go no, no, no,
no, no? OK, Very much not into and not
like in any sort of judgment way.
I don't care if other people are into it.
I'm not really excited by like Vietnam, like ASAP, like total
like that's not my judge. I do like, yeah.
There's a lot of. ASAP going up on this ship.
It's actually. Crazy how much ASAP is happening
on the boat it. The there's a load collecting.
There's no other way. Well, there's I mean.
Some of the people have like, load, load counts on their door.
Yeah. Can I tell you guys?
Can I tell you guys that I, we got on this boat 2 days ago at
2:00 PM? Yeah.
And at 5 PMI saw a man in the hallway in a jockstrap with a
load count on his ass. And for those of you who don't
know, that means he's getting he's having men put a tally mark
Yes on every. Every time they finish inside.
Of him for every time, yeah. And he?
Had 23. That's a lot of tallies.
I know. Did you feel for for three
hours, right? Did you feel proud of doing
that? I, I did have this moment where
I was like, OK, what if I'm in a situation where it's like I have
to get 50 loads? Like how fast could I actually
do it? But like that's that's like.
Intense to me? Well, I know.
Last time I did one of these and we are on the biggest gay cruise
in the world. It's over 5000 gay guys and the
last time I was on by Wednesday someone had 100, but your guy is
easily on pace for that. For me, OK.
And this is like, and this is something I've said before in
the pod, no one's cancelled me yet.
My thing is I, I pick up on like because I'm sober addict
behavior where like there is no end.
There's no bottom. You want more and more more.
You've a God sized hole that you throw things into to try to feel
soothed and to me it's like the the ask out.
Sorry to I just. Found that really interesting.
Is that to you? Like the core tenet of what
makes it addict behavior is like the bottomlessness of it for me.
I've heard this before that addicts have an incredibly hard
time self soothing so they go to external things to soothe or to
feel complete. And so I still do that, it's
just with less destructive things.
Interesting. Does that make?
Sense yeah, but I do think it is kind of like one of the tenants
of for me there's a spiritual solution that I didn't have
access to and I was trying to find it with drugs, alcohol, men
and the spiritual solution being.
Like a higher power, kind of, yeah.
Yeah, we're like, oh, I, I trust that.
Like, I'm in good hands. I trust that things will work
out. I trust that, like, you know, I
just give away a lot of my, like, anxieties, right?
OK, I understand. It's that feeling.
It's like that. The crushing way to feel like
everything within the world is in your control.
Yes. And then you're like, it's not,
yeah. And guess what I can do that's
really interesting. I can do my pod today.
I can do a little work today. I can hang out, talk to people
and be chill today. I don't need to like, I am on
these apps. I'm looking at a telegram, like
I said, like like I'm going to be quizzed on it later.
But like I know that's like kind of my attic brain sneaking in.
Like wouldn't it be fun to like hook up again even though I've
hooked up And I'm like, maybe not even horny, but I'm just
like, totally. It's so spectrum.
Thing where it's like, it's like, I feel that too, but it's
like, but you have a you. Have a stopping point or you
have like boundaries, yeah. I mean, there are times when you
get to the place where you're like, you're like, what if we
were bad? You don't even like, what if we
did There's. I think everyone has that.
But then I definitely also sometimes I'm like, you know
what, Like let's just, I'm good. Yeah.
I think addicts have a hard time saying I'm good, totally.
They're like, I have a hard time at that with specifically going
out. It's not even about substances
or alcohol, but it's like I have a really hard time staying in
sometimes. Like that's my thing.
Well, but are you an? Extrovert and you find yourself.
I mean, that's how you charge then, yeah.
But like. I guess you would have to
acknowledge like, OK, am I being asked to go out on a night I
didn't intend to go out for this reason because I have an early
morning or whatever. Then it's like, did I step over
that line and did I suffer A consequence for having stepped
over that line? I mean, that's.
Always the metric I try to go by is like, did you fuck something
up by what you're doing and like.
Sometimes fuck ups are just part of life, like whoops, learn.
But if you keep doing it, then it's like the baffling part of
addiction where you're like, oh, I'm like, I'm fucking things up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm, I'm in control.
Yeah. So.
Yeah. But tying this back to the sex
thing, it's like you're looking at them and then like, is this
addict behavior kind of well. I I, I wonder about anything.
It's funny because. Any there's like, it's one of
those language things now where it's like anything you could do
anything you could say to like investigate that can so easily
be dismissed as like sex shaming.
Of course. Do you know what I mean?
And I. Would never want to.
Right. But then, but there is also the
thing of like, is this actually healthy behavior?
No, Yeah. I know.
And then I always come back to like, oh, is this person who
seems to need 2 gallons of semen a day?
I really. Wish I was more like but like
something about like semen in that volume is like so
nauseating to me. Like the idea of like that much
come I'm like why I don't have. You ever I do swallow, but like
there are times where I think I'm going to swallow.
I don't. Maybe it ends up on my chest or
whatever and it's like, Oh my God, I'm so glad I didn't
swallow that. Like I'm.
So glad totally. Totally, totally, totally,
totally, and it's just the horniness.
Thing if you're really horny all of a sudden, it does sound great
and awesome. But yeah, all this to say, I
hope everyone's happy. I hope everyone's like getting
it in this week. If this is maybe their outline
for the year, it might be the purge for them, but opposite
like no totally. It is also one of those things
where you forget that you live in a city where that you have
access to like, gay culture at all times.
And then there's people here who are like, oh, they came from
like somewhere where like totally, if it doesn't happen
and this week it can't happen totally.
And that is different for us. I do love.
Too though that like I do, I'm grateful that I'm gay because
there is also on this app, aside from people looking for sex,
there is a lot of like respectful, like compliments and
like people helping each other and it is really nice to see.
Yeah, gay guys are. They're for each other 100%.
Yeah, yeah. Did you see the really sweet?
I was really touched by the Doctor Who put all of the
guidelines in for Doxy Pepin Sun Care, No.
It was really sensitive. I just want to make sure
everyone's. Because did you know that doxy
pep makes you sun sensitive? Yes.
And so he, I'm, I'm. Honey, I'm always do you see
this? This is a bounce.
Actually I'm using this to light your face right now.
My Milky run to the YouTube. That was your survival job in LA
was being a bounce for. I'm just like shining like a
bright bright, like a diamond. That's so.
Funny. OK, So we'll get back to the
cruise, but you did you have like a a hoe phase when you
started hooking up regularly? When I moved to so I did.
So I went. I'm from, I grew up in Vermont,
went to high school in Vermont, went to College in Vermont and
freshman year of college and I didn't want to go to college,
but it was like what I could afford and I was like really
bummed about it. And when I was at, I was at UVM
and freshman year I was like, cool.
So there's like 6 gay guys. Like there was just, and I also
wasn't very, I wasn't that like confident of a person.
I did have a OK. I also, I had a boyfriend when I
went to college. I had a high school boyfriend.
We ended up going to the same college.
Scott, wait. OK.
Then wait, Tell us about the boyfriend.
How did he come to be? I had two.
Boyfriends in high school at the same time.
No, no, no. OK, OK, because I noticed.
Polly. I was Polly.
Oh my. God, that would be.
Crazy there are kids now. I'm sure that are Polly in high
school girl. Oh yeah.
Oh. My favorite tweet of all time.
What do you mean? You're Polly and non binary in
16. Have you tried being normal?
It's my favorite tweet ever. Yeah.
Tell us about. The two boyfriends because 1
was. Brief I don't like, I don't even
know that we ever like no, I guess we did say we were
boyfriends. I dated AI, dated one boy, like
very briefly did these guys. Go to your school.
No, they went to. The school nearby, OK, that was
like bigger dated one like briefly, I don't even remember
how long, like maybe a month or two.
And then and his thing was kind of like I don't think he was
actually fully out of the closet.
And then like what? Whatever broke up with him.
Then I there was a boy who I like psychotically stalked for a
year because he was the other gay guy in town, like the only
other one. And then eventually we was he
hot was. He worth stalking?
He was cute, yeah. Yeah, he was older, Younger,
same. Age.
Same age. And then it misuse, sorry.
And then that was awful. That's going on the only.
Fans. Hell yeah.
I've been only fans of my guests sneezing.
That's hot. Could you imagine?
It's like, what did they say? It's like 1/8 of an orgasm or
something. Oh my God, the.
Oh no. Orgasms are called the tiny
death in French. Yeah, the stopping what the?
Stopping the stopping. The great stopping, yeah.
OK, so you stalked this boy and then we ended up.
Dating I like turned him around did.
He ever catch wise see you stalking?
He fully knew I was talking. It was, I was like made fun of
it for it was, wait, OK, I can tell the story.
Let me tell the story because. Basically what happened?
Was I found out there was a gay guy who went to the other high
school and I was like, oh, there's another gay guy in town.
I can have a boyfriend because like I was the only gay kid at
my high school. I was openly gay, but I was the
only gay kid. Wow.
And I wanted a boyfriend. Everyone else was dating and
doing stuff and I was like, there's no one here.
And like that guy hooked up with young grit.
Like he was older, so he graduated out.
So like there was no one for me to hook up with, no one for me
to date. I was like, I hate this but
people were chilled with you. Being gay for.
The most part, yeah. OK, cool.
And then I, so I found out this gay kid was at the other school
and he worked at this bookstore and I would go to the, I just
tried to go to the bookstore like all the time.
And then I started like doing this like psychotic thing where
I would like this was like peak Facebook era.
So I'd kind of like post these Facebook statuses that were sort
of like just for him. Yeah.
Like or like baiting him about a book.
That's at his shop or something, Yeah, or.
Like things like that. And I followed and I like friend
requested him and it's like he helped me out a bookstore once,
but now we're friends on Facebook and I friended his best
friend, who's also now still a good friend of mine.
But I was just like, I was like being a psycho stalker.
And then I remember like she wrote, she wrote, this is
actually so crazy. This was me and my craziest.
I was not, no. This is the.
Hero, have you tried being? Normal.
No, I know it truly. It's like, it's so like frontal
lobe not developed. It's crazy.
Yeah. So he she like posted something
on his wall. I wish you were this
specifically, but she posted something on his wall that was
obviously in reference to the fact that I was a psycho stalker
and I fully commented it Is this about me, like publicly
commented. So.
But here's where the twist goes. This is where the here's how the
twist happens. So then I, I was at school one
day and this girl, Julia, her best friend Rachel went to the
other school and she was like, she was like, Julia, do you know
this? She was like, she was like, do
you know this gay guy Nick that goes to the other school?
Because Rachel told me that. He told me that he, Rachel told
me that he told her that you're like obsessed with him.
And it's scary. And I like, froze and realized,
one, how crazy I'd be, and two, that I've been caught and I went
and who? No, I went, Oh my God, no, I
don't know. He must be obsessed with me.
That's crazy. And I started to rumor that he
was talking and everyone believed it, of course.
So then like me and. My best friends, like we would
make fun of him, bite his back like I was trying to.
Meanwhile, I knew the whole time that it was like all my fault.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then.
What happened was I turned, oh, when I this, this all was
happening, like when I was 16, I'd come out of the closet like
right around this time when he turns to see my dad had been
like, you have to get a job. Like it was like a rule in my
family that you had to get a job at 16.
Wow. And so.
I had to get a job and the job I got because my friends all
worked there was the Ben and Jerry's, which was by the book.
Connected. To the bookstore you had to
enter. You entered the bookstore by
walking through the Ben and Jerry's was at the back.
So then we like, we're essentially working together and
we didn't have to like, talk, but like, I saw him every day.
So then we became kind of friendly.
Then we ended up dating. But it I and then I eventually
had to, I, my best friend saw me out on a date with him and was
like, are you with Nick right now?
And I had to be like, yeah, so he's actually cool.
And I'm kind of crazy, but we're boyfriends now and it's great.
And then they were all like, OK, like it was really psychotic.
But so then we dated for like a year and went to like college
together. Not like intentionally.
We just ended up going to the same college.
But then I broke up with him when I realized, OK, because
this is the only answer. Did I ever, ever have a whole
phase when I I, I so I was at UVM, I had this boyfriend, but I
was kind of like, oh, like, this isn't going to last forever.
Like he, we don't want the same things in life.
So I broke up with him and then I was like single, but there was
like no one to date or hook up with.
So then I found out that I could study abroad in England for
basically free through this like program at my school and for a
year. So I was like, oh, I'll just go
to England. So in my sophomore year, I went
to Brighton, England, which is like Brighton's, like the gay
city of England. And then I was 19.
I could drink, I could go out. And so I was at the gay.
Bars like every night, like just like living it up.
Oh my God. So that was.
Definitely a phase. Yeah, OK.
Couple questions with this boy. Did you do all your first with
him and how were they not? All of them.
But like, the basics. Yeah, OK.
Like. Sex, yeah, but.
Again, like to that point it's like we're like now that I
actually am like regularly having like anal sex, I'm like,
oh, like not really. We Yeah.
Like what we? Did.
Yeah, was kind of like. To like check the box like we
did it, but like we definitely were mostly just doing like oral
and stuff. OK, but it was fun and good.
And exciting at the time, yeah. And I really liked.
Him and like yeah it was like great did any part of.
You miss him when you were in London or were you like.
This relationship has run its course.
I know that the the. Latter.
Yeah, Yeah. And then what?
Was it like hooking up with a bunch of guys and did you get
like taken advantage of as like a young cute 19 year old?
Not really. No.
I felt pretty like in control and like OK a.
Lot of uncut Dicks there. There was a lot of.
That, yeah. Was that your first?
Encounter, yes. Which I figured that out pretty
quick. And then, yeah, I think that
what was interesting was it was really, really fun.
And then they're kind of turned to not like turn to corner.
It makes it sound really bad. But towards the end I was kind
of like, cuz I would kind of do this.
I was kind of in this cycle of like I would hook up with a guy
also because I was so new to it and all, like I would fall in
love with every guy I hooked up. So not every guy, but like if I
kind of was into a guy, I'd like fall in love with him.
And then we would sort of like, and if they were into it, we
would like date for like 3 or 4 weeks and then I'd like, wait,
I'm studying abroad and I'm leaving in a year and I'm having
and then it would end. So like that happened like a
many, many times while I was there.
Was it mainly? You coming to your senses, I.
It like buried in permutation. OK, like there's one, I remember
one time where I broke it off and like really broke this guy's
heart. I felt so bad.
And then like another guy did that to me like a couple months
later. Like there was definitely I was
there for a year. So I had time to like do a
bunch. But that was definitely I think.
And then I went back to, I went back to UVM and was like back to
square one, kind of of like no gay guys.
So I mean, that must have been horrible.
I definitely. Was like, yeah, depressive.
Yeah. Well, it's interesting because I
didn't, that's I, I feel like I'm talking about this in a
million years, but it is kind of like the biggest thing that
happened in my life is like, I didn't realize how like
heterosexual my life was until like five years ago because,
like, UVM was really straight. And then I moved to New York and
I started working in restaurants and I started UCB, which were
both also quite heterosexual spaces.
And I was like, openly, I've been openly gay the whole time.
And like, I so in my mind I was like, oh, no, I live a very gay
life. Yeah.
And my best friend is gay. Like I've had the same best
friend since I was like 12 and he's also gay.
Oh, when did you guys come? Did when did he come out?
He came out. Well, we it's like he came out
to his family later than me, but like we came out to each other
over AIM like I like probably when I was like 4.
He's he's like 3 years older than me.
So I was probably like he was like probably like 1417.
Did anyone either? Ever, ever crush on the other?
No, not really. OK, cool.
It was always like pretty like we're very brotherly.
Got it. Wait.
What was I talking about? The you're talking about Hedder.
And orange of lifestyle. Oh, and then and.
Like then I had a boyfriend for a long time and like we had gay
friends. But after I broke up with my ex
like five years ago, oh God, is that how many years ago?
Whatever it was like or like 4 years ago, it's 2020. 6 right
now, so. Yeah, like 4-4 ish years ago I,
I moved in with a couple gay friends of mine who I wasn't
super close at this time, but we became really close and I just
like I started going to like province town all the time.
Like my whole friend group became gay people and queer
people. And then my life like became
like 1000 times better. So.
Then that was kind of like, yeah, so I didn't realize, but
like my 20s were like very being the gay guy and around a lot of
straight people, like a very that.
And now I like I'm just always with gay people and it's like so
much more fun. Like my 30s been so much better
than my my 20s were like in like a crazy way.
Does is this like a pleasant surprise or did you feel stunted
as it was happening? It's a pleasant so like I'm
happy about it's, it's a pleasant surprise in the sense
that like I, I love it. Like my life is so, so happy.
It happened. I do sometimes get like a twinge
of sadness when it, when people tell stories about like like my
friends who like kind of they, they were in that throughout
their 20s as well, Like when they talk about being like
really in like the gay scene when they were like 22.
I'm like, oh, damn it. It does like suck that I kind of
wasted that time. But then again, like I'm happy
with who I, it made me whatever. You can't like really change the
past, so I don't got you here. Honey.
Exactly. So, but like I do, I would like
if I was giving advice to someone else who was in that
boat, I'd be like, just do it now, like jump in the gay boat,
like get in the get on the gay cruise.
That's frankly. The last question I asked on
this is what some advice you give to a younger version of
yourself. It would be that.
It would be that be like, go whole hog gay.
Yeah, like, yeah, whole hog. Like Go.
Like like I remember like not even like the choice to go to
UBM. Like I think I would have been
better off had I gone to let some.
Though I do think if I moved to New York when I was 18 it would
have fried me. I think I would have like short
circuited, but like going the the fact that UVM did not have
gay people was actually a good enough reason to transfer.
Like I should have, but I didn't think it would.
Yeah, of course. So it's like but.
It's like, if you're not surrounded by like gay people,
you should need to get there. That would be the advice I would
give 100% isn't it? It's It's so baffling to me how
quickly your mind can expand when you are given reasons to
expand it A. 100% yeah. Well, This is why I was, I was
just talking about this. Someone like This is why I think
gay people are just in general like.
Better, better, yeah, is because.
The the simple like process of discovering you're gay and then
having to come out is like the first time you work the muscle
of like, I thought one thing was true and then this thing is true
and I'm accepting that. Moving on.
And sometimes when you're talking any political
conversation, any societal conversation you're having with
a straight person, I'll realize like, oh, you literally don't
have ever. Had to do that.
You've never had to shift. Your perspective and you
perceive your perception. You perceive your perspective as
reality and. For everyone like this.
Is yeah, this is it. Like, it's the straight white
guy. You have an incredible joke
about how there's a face structure that you can only get
if you've never been, like, challenged or something.
Yeah, exactly. But it's like, yeah, they really
see it as like, that is the view.
And if you're not in it, you're the outlier.
Yes, but it's so important. And I agree with you.
It's like it's the bittersweet part of having to come out where
you're like identifying something about yourself that is
like there's violence towards it, There's like shame towards
it, and you still have to do it. And then you're like, OK, who am
I? And then to hear you say even
like after you did that, you still had like hurdles to clear
that you maybe didn't even know we're there.
Well, yeah, because I think there's.
So that's like, I haven't really ever thought about it This.
It's like, it's like the, the coming out is such like this
specific. It's such like a specific thing
that is so much, like there's so much importance put on and it is
important, obviously. But I kind of thought like, I,
oh, I came out so I'm out and that's it.
There's no, but it was like, Oh yeah.
But you're not like a like the way I articulate it usually is.
Like I was like, I've been openly gay since I was 16, but
I've only been a faggot for like 5 years.
I love that distinction and like that.
But, and that feels really true to me, like, and I'm once I
became a faggot, yeah, I was much happier.
There's something. So liberating too, about like,
first of all, being gay and then not being held to all the
standards that straight people are.
But yeah, I really celebrate anytime you get to like, release
something. Oh, totally.
OK, So that being said, do you, are you a relationship girly?
Do you find yourself wanting? Definitely.
Wanting OK I was in a relationship from 23 to 29.
Oh my. God OK, I thought you meant the
years. I was like.
Oh, no. Ages, yeah.
That's a long time. It was a really long time it.
Was six years and how was it? In a nutshell, if you had to say
like headline like. He's a great guy, like great
guy. Like and like we're still
friendly, but I think it is tied to what we were talking in
earlier. Like I wasn't fully like
developed yet, you know? And so I think and like when I
started to develop, I was like, oh, this isn't working, You know
what I mean? And I think I also think a big
part of it was that I didn't understand we were both child of
children of divorce. And I think neither of us had
ever really had examples of like what actual partnership is.
And something really amazing happened was I got to, I lived
with a gay married couple after that breakup and.
Seeing. Like a married couple work.
Together, yeah, And be gay. I was like, oh, and now I want
that, you know, And so the and so now I'm like, I'm dating
pretty actively. Like definitely with the
interest of like, I would like to have like a boyfriend and a
partner. But like, and I'm literally
trying to write down about this right now, but it's like, it's
like the negotiation of like, what does that mean to you?
Like what does have it? What does like a boyfriend mean
to you? Like what does a partner mean to
you? Like what are the things you
actually want? And I definitely I like the idea
of like, it's nice to see people when I realize it's like, oh,
it's just having someone who's like your point person kind of
yeah, I do want that. You're like.
Grounding, yeah, but. Because I know very specifically
what I want. You're not willing to settle?
Yeah. Well, also because I've, I now
have had the experience of being in a relationship and it not
being quite right and then like the pain of that and having to
like breaks, break up with someone and all that.
Like I don't really want to ever have to do that again.
Do you? Is it?
You that talked about in your scene of having to break up with
someone who's done nothing wrong.
Damn, so real. Yeah, 'cause you're like,
nothing's wrong. Apparently not.
For that crowd, though, they hated that joke.
I think what I've realized that these cruises is nothing
cerebral. Nothing.
So here's the. Thing that's kind of all I do so
let's oh. God, OK, yeah, I will be.
Bowing twice tonight. No, you still did great.
No thanks. Yeah.
But yeah, it's, it's so painful because you're like, nothing's
wrong. Yeah.
Or it's the guys who are perfect on paper and you're just like, I
don't want to be in a car with them for 8 hours.
That's the thing. Or like, like a big thing with
us was like, I like, I wanted to go out all the time.
I wanted to go live life. And he'd be like, let's stay
home. And I was like, oh, like it's
like this isn't like about like who's morally right?
It's like we literally want to do 2 different things.
Yeah. Who was there an age gap?
Nobody's age. Wow.
Just different types. Introvert, extrovert.
Yeah, like. Profoundly, yeah.
You know, and if it's like in a different timeline, a different
person like you can make that work where it's like they love
reading at home and then you filling them in on the crazy
things that totally, totally, totally.
But it's that matter of. Like if you want a partner who's
a wing man too, yeah. Then it's not going to.
Be that person OK let's do a round of hot or not.
OK this is where I list things and you tell me if you find them
hot or not. I love this.
OK, so let's say natural like body odor or like Musk as it's
known? Well, I think.
That's like a select, like sometimes it's hot and sometimes
it's not sure, depending on the guy, you know what I mean?
Sometimes there's like a certain smell where I'm like, oh, here
we go. And then there's like another
smell where I'm like, you gotta go.
So like. To be clear, do you wear
deodorant and or Cologne? I wear both.
OK. And like it doesn't bother you
if a guy has a scent on? No, I like.
It OK, I like it because like, I think it's really hot when I
mean, I if I like the scent, I don't like Aqua, but I, I do
really love fragrance. Like I love wearing fragrances.
I have like when I wear almost every day and now I'm like
collecting other ones. Really.
Yeah, I really like fragrance. It's like a thing I've gotten
into. I've had the same.
Scent since college where Dunhill fresh.
It's like, oh, I love that one. Really.
Yeah. Because it's like kind of like
it's like an old man brand. No, that's why.
Yeah, but it it. Smells very springy, very like
non threatening. Yeah, I wear by, I wear.
I'm a leak by by Rado that's like my like classic and then I
have other ones off the IT sounds expensive.
It's like the bottle's like 200 bucks, but it lasts like a like
a long time. Do you ever go to?
Those scent stores where they like mix and match and stuff,
Yeah, I've done that. Before it's fun, yeah, but you
know, I really like fragrances. But so I think it's really hot,
like like like I like, I like body smell too.
Like, a little bit of Bo is nice, like a little bit of Musk,
but like half too much. Yeah, Yeah, But too much is like
crazy, you know, some guys love it, some guys love it.
But I love, especially if you're like hooking up with a guy that
wears A fragrance and then you're like out and you smell
it. Without them.
But you smell it and you're like, that's so hot, that's so
hot. Do you know what I mean?
When you like get like it's like that is.
And then you text them being like, I just want to like so
hot, so hot. It's like.
Well I guess this could be the next topic but like I'm just
going to say Dick pics. Do you hot?
Or not. Oh hot.
Hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I was going to say. A guy has sent me before, like
when we we just started hooking up and I think he was out of
town, but he was like on he sent me a video of him on the
treadmill with his like Dick, like bouncing in his shorts and
I was just like feral. Yeah, that'll.
Get you. Yeah, yeah.
I love receiving them. I kind of actually like, really
hate taking them. OK.
Let's talk about it. Do you have any?
Just like I think a Dick pic you can use for like 2 to three
years. Dicks don't change.
Anyone who's had gotten a Dick pic from me?
It's the same pick. There's one pick Great and.
I'm sure that's the one circulating online right now,
yeah. Do you know there's a site
called LPSG? I check mine like once.
A week, I check mine like once a week to see if someone because
I'm kind of thinking because like if I check it once a week,
it's like when it does because it's going to leak at some point
it's going to get posted online. I know that obviously I want to
get them taken down, but also based on the timing, I'll know
who it was. I would never.
I've sensed it out already to 35 people on this ship, but those
people. Have had it and they haven't.
So then if it one day it goes it's like who did I just send it
to? Because why do you know what I
mean? How often do you?
Send it. Not often.
It go, I go. Through phases of being like
really on the apps and running, then I go through phases where
like, I'm not, yeah, maybe I'm like hooking up with someone and
it's fine, whatever. I mine mine leaked a long time
ago but I do stand by mine and I don't ever put my face.
Where did you lift them up? Well, mine wasn't.
I don't honestly LPSG. I've only visited a handful of
times because I don't find the interface.
It's the ugliest. Website ever?
Yeah, it's like hard. To NAV I have found it hard to
navigate I guess. Oh yeah, I just.
Go in, search my name, click on the thread and and then I check
and see if anything's been posted.
Mine was on. Like this British like tabloid
site and it was like 9 photos and four of them were me but the
other five weren't and I was like oh let it fly.
That's so funny. Keep on guessing.
I also almost never said nudes with my face in them.
Probably no, I would never. But I do.
Have I have tattoos I. Have tattoos too, who cares?
Here's the thing. Ultimately, we're the victim of
a crime. No 100%.
There's no, I feel no shame. I feel no shame.
You're like, yeah, look. At it.
Yeah. OK, so Dick pics come.
Weren't we talking about this the other?
Like I think coming is hot but like the actual fluid does not
do that much? Sure, sure.
Sure, sure, sure. Yes, you told me that.
OK, balls if they're. Pretty.
Yeah. What are?
Pretty balls.
They're they're commonly known as the most horrifying looking
thing like on a man. Yeah.
Well, you know, like some if they don't look like
structurally sound, do you know what I mean?
It's like like, I think that's sort of the issue that was like
structurally. Sound is so funny.
It's like, it's like. Yeah, like the engineering seems
a little off or like dilapidated like that's.
Also like I do feel bad for them when they're small and cold and
or clung to the body. Well, have you ever had sex
with? A guy that's on steroids, his
balls are like, literally marbles.
No. Yeah.
Like if guys don't take testosterone or steroids, like
it makes their balls. Like, I talked.
I was talking to my girlfriend about it and she was like, she
was like, I literally hate that. It feels like I'm playing with
grapes. Oh, I have hooked up with guys
where they were like, it was like flush with their body.
That might have been that they. Were on testosterone.
That's a bummer. Because I do like balls.
I think like, like, like a big sack is like hot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally, totally, totally,
totally. Or like seeing them through
shorts. A bulge have them.
I like don't. Even I notice butts kind of, but
like I'm looking at the bulge. Oh, I'm looking at the butt.
Really, Butt? A.
Beautiful. Like a beautiful butt.
Yeah, looking at butt. I'm looking at the bulge too.
I I sort of like, I'm like, I don't really operate in the
binaries. I'm like, let's do both, OK?
That's fair. Yeah.
It's, I guess it's a case by case basis.
But ultimately like a guy in sweats in line for Starbucks who
does this and he is like a happy trail and like a like a, a penis
line. Yeah, I'm like, like, I'm going
to attack you. Yeah.
You're not safe. Sure.
OK. Group sex.
I'm not like a but like I would say I'm pretty far on the not
scale personally. Like a like a threesome or more
of a one-on-one? No, sorry.
Like when I hear like group sex, like a party, not really my
vibe, like 20 people in a room, but like four or five guys.
Yeah. But I would, but it would, I
would want it to be like guys I knew, OK.
It's a curated group like 5. Strangers not so exciting to me,
but like if I was like, if I let's say I was like hooking up
with someone and then we were out with like another couple or
like with a couple of friends and we're like, that could be
like fun and hot to me. Yeah, OK.
Did I ask you the sex with friends?
I or blurred you? Know blurred Lines in the Yeah,
there's like a. Tear I have like an inner circle
of gay guys that like we are all very platonic and then there's
like a tear of friends outside of that that then there's a
little. Bit of like, yeah, but they're
not like and I. Love that OK and I have a couple
friends I was just talking to this about someone.
I have a couple friends where like it is like a very sexual
friendship that is like exists in that space very comfortably,
like a lot like a couple of them have like a husband or
something. So it's like it's, it's not
going to become like this. But it.
It is on the. Table sort of or like it's.
Almost like an integral part of our friendship is that we have
sex. Like I have a couple friends
like that. Yeah, that's.
Beautiful. Yeah, it's I.
Like it a lot I do think. That having sex or sexual things
with a friend is like. Probably the highest form of
like intimacy in a weird way where it's like I trust this
person and I find them beautiful and like alluring. 100% It's
just like I don't know if it's an age thing.
I often like forget that my friends have genitalia or I'm
like we're not here for this like I.
Like, I feel like there's some gay guys, some like, yeah,
there's ones where I'm like, yeah, where it's like, I don't
think about that at all with them.
Degradation. Hate.
Saying so out for me. What about?
Dom sub yes, but in a. Nice way.
Yeah, the dynamic like submissive dominant is totally
fine, but I don't like anything mean I don't wanna, I don't like
anything, any part of my sex being like violent.
Yeah, or. Like acrimonious, like I don't.
It's like not interesting to me. Every time I hear acrimony I
hear alimony and I was like how the fuck is I was just going to
roll with it. It's funny that.
You point that out because I was like only 80% confident that
acrimonious was the right word when I used it.
I still don't know. I think I I.
Think I used it right but let me know this is a Google.
Free zone, so no one unless you know without Googling you can't
fucking see feet. Occasionally hot, OK.
And like, sometimes it's not like I have a foot thing, but
like, do you ever look at a guy? So you're like, those are
beautiful. Yeah, of course.
I have a vein, I have much bigger but hands.
Are huge for me, a guy with sexy hands, it's.
Like that French creator. That was bias.
He did. Have good hands but not his but
I've seen better. But like his hands were good.
I bet they were. Soft, yeah, but.
Like hot hands are. That's like, that's like one
that'll get me. Damn.
OK, body hair hot. Yeah, yeah.
What about? Waxed.
Occasionally hot OK depending on the situation.
Long. Hair I.
Used to think not hot but then I had sex with someone with long
hair and I was like oh this is fun.
Was it up or was? It down.
It was down. And.
What position? I changed the game for you
because it was like him on top. Of me and me playing with his
hair. Oh my.
And it. Was just like so much.
And he's like bam, bam, bam, bam, Yeah.
I was like, I get the Tarzan thing now.
Choking. Like a little bit, not not super
often in my playbook, but like I'm not anti it really sure.
Spit. I almost always know, but then
every once in a while it works. Yeah, like her guy.
Was like, and you're like, yeah, Oh my God, it was, it was such a
good oh, PDA. Yeah, I love a dance floor make
out. I love like I love like.
Yeah, I'm into PDA. What about?
Being cheating or being the other woman.
Not hot to me. That was a weird.
Moral one that I slipped in there?
No, but it's like. I get what you're saying.
Or like even like the fan even doing like a role play of it.
Or maybe it's. Like the guy with the girlfriend
who's like dude like I like I want this like my girlfriend
never sucks my Dick. I think part of me would think
that's hot and part of me would be like, I'm not into this.
Like I would be conflicted. It's like it.
Lives in a fantasy, yeah. And it's like, well, it it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also it's pretty there's
like, you know, the trauma from being in the closet will always
make you be, like, a little bit excited about, like a guy you
didn't know was gay and secretly wanting to be.
Yeah, exactly. That's always good.
But my fan is. It's like every girl on the
subway who's like, man spreading and like, basketball shirts and
like, yeah, sex toys hot. Are there any?
Favorites that you have. I yeah, I I only really like
that I own. Sure.
I only really have Oh, I don't like a Cochrane is not something
I would ever want to put on my body.
Why? I do think it's cheating.
What I do think cockerings are cheating.
I'm like, that's not you're. This is a performance in hand.
I thought you were like cheating.
No, no. No, sorry that and I just
brought up cheating so OK, I think it's like I like when
other. Guys, I have no issues with
another guy wearing them. It's the constrictiveness is not
interesting to me and I someone recently told me a story about a
conquering that literally made me like almost pass out.
What was it? It's really bad.
It was like a guy was gooning and was like really high and
like on meth. I think on meth.
And was had a conquering on and it like went so long that he
fell asleep and slept for like 8 hours.
And when he woke up his Dick had died like turned black and like
we've gone necrotic because of the circulation cut off.
And he had to have it like the Dick and balls.
Like it's really bad. I told you I'd say really.
Well, we're going to end it right.
There. And not I was.
Like I don't think I can ever put a cock ring on again.
Oh my God, no, I know. It's so.
Bad. I didn't even know it could be
that doctor friend told me. That like came into the ER dead
Dick. It happened to my.
Friends cousin not having my friends cousin.
Okay, so. I think you already answered the
what advice we give. The advice is to jump in, yeah.
Go as gay as you gay as you can as quickly as possible, OK, and?
Then the last thing is tell the tower bottoms where they can
find love and support you, the tower.
Bottoms. That's it you can follow.
Me at Jake W Cornell on TikTok for Instagram.
My website isjakecornell.com and that is where you can get all
the tickets to my dates. I'll be in Minneapolis, New
Orleans, San Francisco, Boston, Damn I'm forgetting somewhere.
DC and Dallas and Tyler, TX in the next couple months and you
can find my nudes on LPSG probably.
Yay. OK, I'll post this soon then.
And until next time, keep sucking and fucking.
Hello, Tower Bottoms. It's me, your host, Zach Newry
Towers. Thank you so much for listening
to Good Side Pod. If you haven't already, give it
a five star rating. Leave a review, share it with a
friend, get the word out. I love you so much.