1 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,640 Yeah, more. Give it to me. 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:16,239 Yeah, more good. Morning Sad mites Zach Owie 3 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:27,600 Towers. Boop Jake Cornell, I crack that 4 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,080 bitch. There's. 5 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,880 Something so this lighting and this it just like it feels like 6 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,360 we're making only fans video like so. 7 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,240 Yeah, it feels very yes, yes, yes, very casting cults, very 8 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,960 amateur. It's very, yeah, it's very 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,240 casting. Cast Speaking of only fans, is 10 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,720 that your preferred Do you watch porn? 11 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,440 I do watch. Porn And is that your preferred 12 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,440 source? Like are you a homemade girly or 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,240 a studio girly? I'm not studio. 14 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,600 Me neither, I don't like it. I don't like fake. 15 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,440 I don't like fake. And script I'm like. 16 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,640 Do they even like? Their old studio. 17 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,800 You know how you have like your classics that you return to? 18 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,480 Yes, but even those age out sometimes. 19 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,680 Some of them do, but there's a few that have like stood the 20 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:09,800 test of time that I will return to but I don't watch new studio. 21 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,360 OK, got it. Got it. 22 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,040 Got it, got it, got it. But there's like some oldies 23 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,760 from back like that. I've probably been, I've been 24 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,360 like watching since I was like. What I'm trying to think too, 25 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:22,280 OK, Like, have you heard of RFC? It's like raw club. 26 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is that studio because it 27 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,360 feels very amateur. So does sketch, sketchy, 28 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,640 whatever. Wait, I was sorry, I thought you 29 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:36,840 meant like sketch comedy. Don't worry, we'll get there. 30 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,280 Yeah, God, what if I told you was making jerk off to SNL? 31 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:45,720 No, it's not. Sure, you jerk off to your own 32 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,160 improv like recordings. I just thought I'm brilliant. 33 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,520 I secretly taped my old UCB auditions and I just crank it to 34 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,680 them. Oh wait, people get so mad at me 35 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,760 because I'm I'm very bad at introducing my guests. 36 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,680 Oh yeah, let's do it. You're. 37 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,120 A comedian. Hi, I'm Jake Cornell. 38 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,440 I am a comedian. And what other labels would you 39 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,480 give yourself Actor. Actor. 40 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:05,720 Writer. Writer. 41 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,560 Big old. Gay guy, Big gay guy. 42 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,480 Yeah, those are my thing. The boat we are on is rocking 43 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:12,960 so. Much I know it's. 44 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,560 Crazy. Up on the up on the top deck, 45 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,160 the pool, the water is sloshing, waving out of the pool. 46 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,080 It's actually kind of crazy. Twinks just get launched into 47 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,520 sea. Yeah, I keep on thinking I'm 48 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,320 drunk and then realizing I haven't had a drop of alcohol. 49 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,080 I'm just this boat is like rocking like crazy. 50 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,720 A drop of alcohol today, yeah. You know, yeah. 51 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,480 You've seen a guy and I was like, well, I was just like 52 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,880 confirming. What have you gone out that my 53 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,640 public persona was that I was sober but you like. 54 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,680 And I'm like. Secretly I'm like just a full. 55 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,760 I feel like that. PS people know I'm sober. 56 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,000 Like at my sister's birthday everyone said I was like should 57 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,480 I get a drink? And like everyone freaks out. 58 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:48,520 I love that. It's fun. 59 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,960 It's funny. People like your mom to make my 60 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,240 mom to scare them. My mom I just walked into sex 61 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,360 from having a full panic attack because my mom decided to text 62 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,760 me you need to call me and then not answer the phone for 10 63 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,680 minutes and then when she and then she did answer and said I 64 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,680 can't talk right now. She's like in an ambulance, you 65 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,120 know, like, why? Can't you talk? 66 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,360 Yeah, well, it turned she did have a valid reason she couldn't 67 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,320 talk. But I was like, you can't send 68 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,680 that text until you can talk. No, she loves the drama. 69 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,600 She lives for the drama. OK. 70 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,640 So you've listed all your OK and you were UCB by yeah? 71 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,720 Back in the day. And now you're stand up and also 72 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,360 doing improv and stuff. If I get asked like back in the 73 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,400 day I was like on a UCB team. I was teaching at UCBI. 74 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,480 Was like doing. Yeah, like I was hardcore at UCB 75 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,680 and I was like, I was like on a team. 76 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,680 I was coaching one of the other teams and I was teaching 77 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,280 classes. So I was like living at that 78 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,400 theater. So. 79 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,280 And then, you know, after the pandemic and like my career kind 80 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,840 of started to get better. I like didn't have time, so I 81 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,760 don't do like like I could never. 82 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,600 I don't have the time to be like on a UCB team or like on an 83 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,080 improv team. But whenever they ask me to go 84 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,680 do a show, I do unfortunately, like, fucking love doing that's. 85 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,080 Amazing. But I always say like, in terms 86 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,520 of like, what kind of I, if they ask me to do it, I'll do that. 87 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,040 I'll act, I'll write, I'll perform. 88 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,040 You'll totally be like the when I went to Groundlings when I 89 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,520 first moved here, like Maya Rudolph would come and like do a 90 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,600 show, like just be part of the ensemble and I'm watching 91 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,920 fucking SNL legend. I know, but it sounds like 92 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,320 you'll be that type of person too. 93 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,360 I'll do improv whenever if I'm free with my friends. 94 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,680 If it's with my friends and who are like make me laugh, it's the 95 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,800 most fun. It's so silly. 96 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,760 Did you have overlap with Pat Regan? 97 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,080 Like I know Pat, we're friends, but he I don't like we were 98 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,520 never on it. I've never done, I don't think 99 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,080 I've ever done improv. With it, OK, got it, got it. 100 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,840 But. He was like on a team when I was 101 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,000 taking classes and. So was he like a celebrity to 102 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,840 you or did you guys everyone like that? 103 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,560 Everyone when I moved to New York when I was 21, like when I 104 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,640 first moved to New York, everyone who was on the the two 105 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,120 shows are called like Lloyd and Harold Night. 106 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,720 They were all celebrities to me, like celebrities. 107 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,680 Are some of them bona fide celebrities now? 108 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,520 Yeah, a few of them are. Wow. 109 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:53,720 Yeah, that's cool. I'm. 110 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,200 Trying to think of who is this one? 111 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,440 One of the guys who's been like an SNL writer for like, ever. 112 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,240 That's cool, I'm trying. To I'm blanking on anyone. 113 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,000 Else it's OK. There's a real pipeline though, 114 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,680 and we've seen it time and time again. 115 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,680 Or they will be revealed in the next 10 to 15 years. 116 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,960 Of course, yeah. OK so let's talk about you and 117 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,440 your sexual journey going back to the beginning. 118 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,440 Do you remember the first things that made you like horny and or 119 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,560 aware of sex? Oh, I have a very specific 120 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,120 thing. I have a very specific story. 121 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:28,320 Was so my one of the houses I lived in growing up? 122 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,440 One of the houses. Like, sorry, that made me sound 123 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,160 rich. No, no. 124 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,320 No, moved opposite. OK, OK, OK. 125 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,800 OK and divorced parents so. Like two different houses. 126 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:40,320 Yeah, but one of the houses we lived in for like a good chunk 127 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,080 and that was that was my parents split up as we moved in. 128 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,920 We moved in as a family when we left broken but. 129 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,080 Lifetime originally. But absolutely, the way it was 130 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:54,840 laid out was the second floor was a balcony that looked over 131 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,480 the first floor, OK. I love that. 132 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,520 Yeah, it was nice. And so you could see. 133 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,680 An aerial view. Yeah, you could see the living 134 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,320 room from like right outside my bedroom. 135 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:13,120 And so I when I was like a kid, I really, I had like a big 136 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,120 complex when I was a kid about going to bed. 137 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,440 I really didn't want to ever go to bed. 138 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,080 I like lived in fear of it. Nothing's changed. 139 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,280 I'm not, that's the opposite. Now I like take naps all the 140 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,480 time. I do stay up late but I take 141 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,960 yeah, but I used to really hate going to sleep and so it. 142 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,600 Was a fear thing. Yeah, I think it was a response 143 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,720 to my parents divorcing. I became obsessed with the idea 144 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,800 of like a home intruder or like getting killed. 145 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,560 And so I was, I was, I like it was like a whole thing, but it 146 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,320 actually was kind of the best thing that ever happened to me 147 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:46,280 because my, I started, because I got put in like anxiety and 148 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:50,760 panic attack coping therapy when I was like really little like 7. 149 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,600 And I think like your your brain is such a sponge then that I 150 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,680 like onboarded anti anxiety and like anti panic attack. 151 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,360 That's amazing you identified it early on my. 152 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,720 Parents did, my mom did. And so I feel like when I talk 153 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,760 to people who have really bad anxiety, I'll like be like, 154 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,560 well, you can just do that. Like I I know I'm very good at. 155 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,320 Like yeah, and. They're like, well, I have. 156 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,960 They're like, well, it's really bad for me and I'm like, OK, 157 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,880 fine, whatever. So it was kind of the best 158 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,560 anyway. But the point of this is so I 159 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,800 would, I hated going to bed and I hate and I never wanted to 160 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,440 fall asleep. And I, I was, so I figured out 161 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:27,400 that I could at night, I could slip if I like, if I left my 162 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:32,080 bedroom door open, I could slip out of it and like stand flat 163 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,840 against the wall and look down into the living room. 164 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,000 And I could watch the TV that my mom was watching. 165 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,120 OK, so I would watch. Like HBO type shows? 166 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,840 It no, it was it mostly. It was honestly like SNL and 167 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,440 Fallon or it wouldn't have been Fallon. 168 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,400 It was like Craig Ferguson and Conan and like she never really 169 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,880 watched Leno or she watched Letterman a little bit. 170 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,840 She never really watched Leno, but I would watch all like late 171 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,680 night TV from the balcony hiding. 172 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,360 But one night I came out and she was watching the MTV Movie 173 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:03,960 Awards. And it was the year that Sarah 174 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,520 Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair won for best kiss. 175 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,560 And they played the kiss. And that was the first time I'd 176 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,120 ever seen like, hardcore tongue kissing and same sex. 177 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,400 And I feel like. And that was enough. 178 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,520 I feel like it literally like puberty started, like my body, 179 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,760 like I was like, what's happening launch Yeah, like, and 180 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,920 like that from that moment on, like I feel like. 181 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,600 Wow, you were 17. Yeah, I was 17. 182 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,240 I was 17. I'm I'm 45 now. 183 00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:37,880 OK, that's fascinating though. Did you know then that you liked 184 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,120 Boys? And you? 185 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,520 Are you are gay? I am gay. 186 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:49,800 OK, He just outed me, but no, I I remember. 187 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,800 I don't remember. I don't think I knew I liked 188 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:56,240 boys then, but I remember I was like told gay before I ever came 189 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,280 but knew I was gay. Like such a fabulous. 190 00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,240 Child, of course, like that's a gay. 191 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,400 Person and so exactly and so I remember this one moment of 192 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:07,520 being in the dugout at Little League and like I don't know if 193 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,440 I saw someone swinging a bat or saw a boy in and I was young. 194 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:14,000 I was probably like 12-11 and seeing, I just remember like in 195 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,880 being in the dugout and suddenly being like, oh fuck, I am gay. 196 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,440 Like realizing, yeah, I like boys, yeah. 197 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,960 Were you good at sports? No. 198 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,360 Oh God, no. Really bad. 199 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,240 Was it like your parents made you do Little League? 200 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,240 I had to do yeah, that my parents made me play sports like 201 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,760 I think from like 4th grade to maybe like 6, like 4-5 and six. 202 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,000 And you're like, Get Me Out of here. 203 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,320 Oh, I hated it. I had to do baseball and soccer. 204 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,200 I. Had to do baseball, basketball. 205 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,680 Oh my God. I I don't think I was ever on a 206 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,000 soccer team. I think it was just baseball and 207 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,880 basketball. Sure, that's enough. 208 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,000 Yeah, I remember at like a Little League baseball game, 209 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:54,360 they felt 10 hours long. They felt so unbelievably long. 210 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,360 I just remember being like, we've been here for days. 211 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:00,320 Did you have this, the rain out where it's raining and they 212 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,560 cancel? I mean, that would have been the 213 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,800 best thing in the. World for me it didn't. 214 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,000 Happen. I don't think it ever did. 215 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:09,600 Oh, we had rain outs and I I be remember being in the station 216 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,840 wagon. The pelting rain is coming down 217 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,720 and then they call it and I'm like. 218 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,800 The relief have it on Earth. Of not having to be a male 219 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,760 performing oh little boy. Absolutely. 220 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,160 Yeah. Like not having to live in 221 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,120 constant fear. Do you remember your first 222 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:31,360 orgasm? Yeah, yes, I just jerked off. 223 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,760 Did you know instinctively or like what was was there any lore 224 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,440 to it? Were boys talking about it? 225 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,600 I. Think, I think someone told me 226 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,760 about it. I remember the first time 227 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,720 someone talked to me about an orgasm, this kid in my class and 228 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,840 I must have been in elementary school. 229 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,400 I thought so I must have been in like 6th grade. 230 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,320 He said to me about an orgasm and I was like, what is that? 231 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,040 And the way he described, I remember the way he described it 232 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,800 is like, it's like you're, he's like you're having sex and then 233 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,920 you just stop. And I was like, so that I was 234 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,280 like, he. Fully had not had 1A. 100%, 235 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:03,960 there's no way. Yeah. 236 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,280 And I was like, I remember being like, it doesn't make sense to 237 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,960 me that they would name the. Act as stopping, yeah. 238 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,000 So I was like that can't be right and I'm being so confused. 239 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:18,920 And I also remember the other thing was there was I grew up 240 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,600 that house that I told you about had was a dead end. 241 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,520 And all these kids my age lived on it. 242 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:24,720 And we were all were like, we're friends. 243 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,280 Yeah, it was cute. Very strange. 244 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,960 Thing very strange thing and we would ride bikes and there was. 245 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,440 Do you have walkie talkies? We have, yeah. 246 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,000 We did have walkie talkies because one of the kids was like 247 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,880 military obsessed, like all of we would do like a lot of guns. 248 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,520 Yeah, like the fucking T dance yesterday anyway, so. 249 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,480 We are also for those listening. Oh, do they not, Jake? 250 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,840 And I are Well, we're on a gay cruise. 251 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,240 We're on a we're working on a gay cruise. 252 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,320 We're standing up on a gay. Cruise, that will be a part of 253 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,400 this conversation. It has. 254 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,440 It has to be, yeah. You know what's so funny is 255 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,640 Dylan and I just did this pod and we did not talk about the 256 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:57,920 cruise. That's crazy. 257 00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,120 They just like this is your living room. 258 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,600 No, but I don't. I think most people listen and 259 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,280 they don't watch. There's like 1000 people who 260 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,360 watch. That's a lot of people. 261 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,360 Yeah, but we got. 1000 people who could think this is your 262 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:14,600 living room with this artwork? Could you imagine the artwork on 263 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,720 a cruise ship is? Haunted, insane. 264 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,240 So insane. Haunted there's. 265 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:23,800 Have you There's a piece with a little girl's legs coming out. 266 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,240 It's like 3 like the it's legs where? 267 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,200 Coming out on the boat. I hope I never see it again. 268 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:29,840 I. Hope I never do. 269 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:34,920 It is crazy because some of it. So we're on a gay cruise, but 270 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,080 like, this boat is not. It's just a Royal Caribbean. 271 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,120 Yeah. And then they, like, charter it 272 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,160 for this thing. And some of the artwork, I'm 273 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,600 like, is that always up? Because that feels gay. 274 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,360 Yeah. Like there's that one restaurant 275 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,920 that has like the women on the wall. 276 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,200 Yeah. Like this feels very gay. 277 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,080 Totally. Also there's but there's one 278 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,320 with like it by urinals and a person's looking at with 279 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,800 binoculars. That's good that yeah, right. 280 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,560 That's. Literally. 281 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,600 Yeah. Yeah, so it's interesting. 282 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,720 Why did what wait? But I I distract what did you 283 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,080 ask me before that I distracted with the lore of? 284 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,560 Coming. The lore of no, I remember you 285 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,080 would ask me when I it was like first orgasm and stuff. 286 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:14,600 What I was going to say was so on that street there was this 287 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:21,200 one of the families was really, really, really Christian and the 288 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,720 oldest kid in like our neighborhood group was the a 289 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,760 girl in that group. And so she got the sex talk 290 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,640 first out of the Fiona neighborhood and she was so I'm 291 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,240 it's obvious that like whatever her like weird Christian parents 292 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,160 like like the the way they had that the. 293 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,600 Metaphors and cagey that when? She, of course, immediately 294 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,000 relayed the sex talk to all of us. 295 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,880 She told us that the way babies were made was that the guy, the 296 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,000 guy removes his full testicle and puts it inside. 297 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,440 Oh no, it's that horrible game of telephone once again then. 298 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,680 Puts it inside the mother and then that testicle becomes. 299 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,160 Like it becomes the baby. Oh, it's so close. 300 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,480 And it was like, but I remember and she was telling us and we 301 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,640 all were like. And then I was like, you're one 302 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:12,320 of three though, like I was so. Bald she was. 303 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,480 Like she was like, it must grow back. 304 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,480 And then like, and I was like, oh, I was like, I was like, 305 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,560 there's no way. That's right. 306 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:18,800 I remember being like, there's no way. 307 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,880 But then and this like is the most haunting part of the whole 308 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,680 thing. One of the kids was like, does 309 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:28,560 it hurt? She goes, she goes. 310 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,120 My mom says it feels like kind of good. 311 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:39,560 That's hilarious that couple had missionary however many kids 312 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:45,440 they had that many times. Yeah, that is wild. 313 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,000 I know. Were there any? 314 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,760 OK, I've talked about this several times in the pod. 315 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,760 Some of the hottest people walking this earth are siblings, 316 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:58,800 older siblings, friends. Oh, that's really true. 317 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,320 Some of the hottest people in the world are your oldest. 318 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,880 Yeah. Yeah, that's. 319 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,680 Like, true. And that, my version of that is 320 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,400 the worst things that have ever happened in the world happened 321 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,800 to your friend's cousin. Oh, yeah. 322 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:06,960 Yeah. Oh. 323 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,600 For sure the worst things that have ever happened. 324 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,160 To someone Happened to your friend's cousin, Yeah. 325 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,520 It's urban legend territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 326 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,760 Yeah, it's a most vulnerable population, OK. 327 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,200 So did you have any? So you've jerked off? 328 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,440 Yeah. Do you have any? 329 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,000 What is this podcast? I'm gonna say you have jerked 330 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:23,920 off. You have jerked off. 331 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,920 Your Honor, the the plaintiff has jerked off at this point. 332 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,160 No. I was gonna say, when was your 333 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,040 first experience with another person? 334 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,640 How soon after was it that you started? 335 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,760 Coming years. OK, And was it girls? 336 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,600 1st or boys first I've only ever had. 337 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:43,800 Been with men? Really. 338 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,360 Have you made out with girls? No, really. 339 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,000 No. I like kissed. 340 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,640 A girl like a pack. But I've never made out with a 341 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:51,960 girl now. Interesting. 342 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,200 I just often did it as like a party trick in like high school 343 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,600 and college. Yeah, no. 344 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,120 Like that? No. 345 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,400 Never. I literally don't think ever. 346 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,760 That's so cool. OK, wait, so talk to me then 347 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,720 about your first sexual experience with another person? 348 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:14,080 I. Hooked up with the director of a 349 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,000 community theatre play I was in, but he was also a teenager. 350 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000 Sorry. Oh my God. 351 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,840 I was like that sounded. Stronger for a second, do you? 352 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,920 How many? Crimes have been discussed on 353 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,280 this podcast. Like full, yeah. 354 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:30,400 I it was a sleepover with and I like, I was like 14, he was 15 355 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,360 or 16. He was the director. 356 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,000 Of a musical. Yeah, we. 357 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,800 Had I had this really crazy like thing in my hometown where there 358 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,520 was like a this teenage gay guy kid who his parents gave him 359 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,560 money to start a theater company and he was he brilliant. 360 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,000 I would say it was impressive what he did for being a 361 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,840 teenager. Like, looking back on it. 362 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,000 Yeah, like, it was. But it was. 363 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,960 I mean, he's not. It's not like he became Julie 364 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,360 Taymor or something. But like, he did like, looking 365 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,120 back, I do have to give him credit, like, oh, I don't know 366 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,840 that I could have done that when I was 15 or 16. 367 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,680 Was he hot? He was cute. 368 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,880 He was. Like a cute like Italian guy, 369 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,000 Like he wasn't, it was very much I'm from like rural Vermont. 370 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,160 So it wasn't like there was like, oh, here are the gay guys 371 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,440 and then you can have sex with the hot one. 372 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,119 It's like there is a gay guy. Was he out? 373 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,680 Is starting. A theatre company like the most 374 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:23,319 expensive he was out he. Was out at that point I think OK 375 00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:25,280 and you? Were not no, I came out. 376 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,839 When I was 16. OK. 377 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,040 Yeah. So. 378 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,000 Talk me through this first hookup. 379 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,600 Like was it exciting? Was it? 380 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:37,680 Was it just functional? It was exciting in the sense 381 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,920 that like, it was happening, yeah. 382 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,040 But I feel like, I don't know, why don't you feel like when I 383 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,200 look back on the sex I was having or like the hookups I was 384 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:53,440 having when I was a teenager, it's so not, it feels so 385 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,040 different than anything that happens now 'cause it's so like, 386 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,760 yeah, like it's very like I look back and like, oh, that doesn't 387 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,120 even feel like me anymore a little bit. 388 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:04,160 But I was like very nervous. I was very much like to secret. 389 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,360 How does this? All. 390 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,360 Yeah, Totally, totally, totally, totally. 391 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,160 I think that like I remember. Yeah, we just like blew each 392 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:16,480 other and then I the only thing like I remember like not really 393 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,200 knowing what to do when he was finishing. 394 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,520 So I kind of like pulled away immediately and just went like, 395 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:22,800 oh. No, I was kind of like, uh. 396 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,360 Oh, you're like I love. It. 397 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,560 I was like, I was like really afraid it was going to get in my 398 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,000 eyes. I was pink. 399 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,440 Oh. Oh, have you since gotten jizz 400 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,840 in your eyes? Yeah, of course. 401 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,520 Yeah, I cry. OK, it's just so painful. 402 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,360 One of the top. I remember one of my 403 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,040 girlfriends. Like sunscreen in the eye. 404 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:39,200 Touching the. Eyes are worse. 405 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,880 One of my girlfriends in high school at one time sneezed as 406 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,880 she was swallowing and it came out her nose and it burned. 407 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,040 Really. I think about it. 408 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,640 All the time. That's horrible. 409 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:57,480 That's horrible. OK, OK, so did you are any of 410 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:02,000 the things that you crave doing when you were a young gay, are 411 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,880 they still in your sex repertoire? 412 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,240 Like like do you lean toward is the first thing you did was oral 413 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,080 with this guy? Is like oral still a big part of 414 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,960 your sex life? It is but. 415 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,920 Usually in lead up to like full sex. 416 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,680 Yeah, I'm not. Super. 417 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,600 I'm not very. I'm not much like a side. 418 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,000 Are you even? Like into foreplay? 419 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,560 Or would you rather just like, spit on it and go no, no, no, 420 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,240 no, no? OK, Very much not into and not 421 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,280 like in any sort of judgment way. 422 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,680 I don't care if other people are into it. 423 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,880 I'm not really excited by like Vietnam, like ASAP, like total 424 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,480 like that's not my judge. I do like, yeah. 425 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,080 There's a lot of. ASAP going up on this ship. 426 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,040 It's actually. Crazy how much ASAP is happening 427 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,880 on the boat it. The there's a load collecting. 428 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,040 There's no other way. Well, there's I mean. 429 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,600 Some of the people have like, load, load counts on their door. 430 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,200 Yeah. Can I tell you guys? 431 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,280 Can I tell you guys that I, we got on this boat 2 days ago at 432 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,000 2:00 PM? Yeah. 433 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:04,160 And at 5 PMI saw a man in the hallway in a jockstrap with a 434 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,760 load count on his ass. And for those of you who don't 435 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,080 know, that means he's getting he's having men put a tally mark 436 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,120 Yes on every. Every time they finish inside. 437 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,240 Of him for every time, yeah. And he? 438 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:18,560 Had 23. That's a lot of tallies. 439 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,440 I know. Did you feel for for three 440 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,280 hours, right? Did you feel proud of doing 441 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,240 that? I, I did have this moment where 442 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,080 I was like, OK, what if I'm in a situation where it's like I have 443 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,400 to get 50 loads? Like how fast could I actually 444 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,400 do it? But like that's that's like. 445 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,920 Intense to me? Well, I know. 446 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,480 Last time I did one of these and we are on the biggest gay cruise 447 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,680 in the world. It's over 5000 gay guys and the 448 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:50,000 last time I was on by Wednesday someone had 100, but your guy is 449 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,360 easily on pace for that. For me, OK. 450 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,320 And this is like, and this is something I've said before in 451 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,040 the pod, no one's cancelled me yet. 452 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:02,160 My thing is I, I pick up on like because I'm sober addict 453 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,560 behavior where like there is no end. 454 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,120 There's no bottom. You want more and more more. 455 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,680 You've a God sized hole that you throw things into to try to feel 456 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,400 soothed and to me it's like the the ask out. 457 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,760 Sorry to I just. Found that really interesting. 458 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,080 Is that to you? Like the core tenet of what 459 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,280 makes it addict behavior is like the bottomlessness of it for me. 460 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,800 I've heard this before that addicts have an incredibly hard 461 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:33,160 time self soothing so they go to external things to soothe or to 462 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:39,000 feel complete. And so I still do that, it's 463 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,600 just with less destructive things. 464 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,400 Interesting. Does that make? 465 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:49,080 Sense yeah, but I do think it is kind of like one of the tenants 466 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:54,200 of for me there's a spiritual solution that I didn't have 467 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:59,800 access to and I was trying to find it with drugs, alcohol, men 468 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,840 and the spiritual solution being. 469 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,440 Like a higher power, kind of, yeah. 470 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,800 Yeah, we're like, oh, I, I trust that. 471 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,640 Like, I'm in good hands. I trust that things will work 472 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,880 out. I trust that, like, you know, I 473 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,320 just give away a lot of my, like, anxieties, right? 474 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,120 OK, I understand. It's that feeling. 475 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,560 It's like that. The crushing way to feel like 476 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,080 everything within the world is in your control. 477 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,640 Yes. And then you're like, it's not, 478 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,760 yeah. And guess what I can do that's 479 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,840 really interesting. I can do my pod today. 480 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:29,720 I can do a little work today. I can hang out, talk to people 481 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,000 and be chill today. I don't need to like, I am on 482 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,600 these apps. I'm looking at a telegram, like 483 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,560 I said, like like I'm going to be quizzed on it later. 484 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,600 But like I know that's like kind of my attic brain sneaking in. 485 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,680 Like wouldn't it be fun to like hook up again even though I've 486 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,560 hooked up And I'm like, maybe not even horny, but I'm just 487 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:51,400 like, totally. It's so spectrum. 488 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,320 Thing where it's like, it's like, I feel that too, but it's 489 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,200 like, but you have a you. Have a stopping point or you 490 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,120 have like boundaries, yeah. I mean, there are times when you 491 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:01,840 get to the place where you're like, you're like, what if we 492 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,000 were bad? You don't even like, what if we 493 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,720 did There's. I think everyone has that. 494 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,680 But then I definitely also sometimes I'm like, you know 495 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,240 what, Like let's just, I'm good. Yeah. 496 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,080 I think addicts have a hard time saying I'm good, totally. 497 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,760 They're like, I have a hard time at that with specifically going 498 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,160 out. It's not even about substances 499 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,280 or alcohol, but it's like I have a really hard time staying in 500 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,640 sometimes. Like that's my thing. 501 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,440 Well, but are you an? Extrovert and you find yourself. 502 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,280 I mean, that's how you charge then, yeah. 503 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,280 But like. I guess you would have to 504 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:31,000 acknowledge like, OK, am I being asked to go out on a night I 505 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,680 didn't intend to go out for this reason because I have an early 506 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,200 morning or whatever. Then it's like, did I step over 507 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,680 that line and did I suffer A consequence for having stepped 508 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,880 over that line? I mean, that's. 509 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,160 Always the metric I try to go by is like, did you fuck something 510 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,280 up by what you're doing and like. 511 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,920 Sometimes fuck ups are just part of life, like whoops, learn. 512 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,120 But if you keep doing it, then it's like the baffling part of 513 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:58,400 addiction where you're like, oh, I'm like, I'm fucking things up. 514 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,760 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm, I'm in control. 515 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,640 Yeah. So. 516 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,000 Yeah. But tying this back to the sex 517 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,200 thing, it's like you're looking at them and then like, is this 518 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,520 addict behavior kind of well. I I, I wonder about anything. 519 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,400 It's funny because. Any there's like, it's one of 520 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,080 those language things now where it's like anything you could do 521 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,160 anything you could say to like investigate that can so easily 522 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,560 be dismissed as like sex shaming. 523 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:19,720 Of course. Do you know what I mean? 524 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:20,560 And I. Would never want to. 525 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,640 Right. But then, but there is also the 526 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,240 thing of like, is this actually healthy behavior? 527 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:26,720 No, Yeah. I know. 528 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:32,880 And then I always come back to like, oh, is this person who 529 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,000 seems to need 2 gallons of semen a day? 530 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,440 I really. Wish I was more like but like 531 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,960 something about like semen in that volume is like so 532 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,480 nauseating to me. Like the idea of like that much 533 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:48,760 come I'm like why I don't have. You ever I do swallow, but like 534 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,240 there are times where I think I'm going to swallow. 535 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,040 I don't. Maybe it ends up on my chest or 536 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,280 whatever and it's like, Oh my God, I'm so glad I didn't 537 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,360 swallow that. Like I'm. 538 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,920 So glad totally. Totally, totally, totally, 539 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,320 totally, and it's just the horniness. 540 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,240 Thing if you're really horny all of a sudden, it does sound great 541 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,080 and awesome. But yeah, all this to say, I 542 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,720 hope everyone's happy. I hope everyone's like getting 543 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,920 it in this week. If this is maybe their outline 544 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,360 for the year, it might be the purge for them, but opposite 545 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,520 like no totally. It is also one of those things 546 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,120 where you forget that you live in a city where that you have 547 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,960 access to like, gay culture at all times. 548 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,760 And then there's people here who are like, oh, they came from 549 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,600 like somewhere where like totally, if it doesn't happen 550 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,640 and this week it can't happen totally. 551 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,280 And that is different for us. I do love. 552 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,480 Too though that like I do, I'm grateful that I'm gay because 553 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,320 there is also on this app, aside from people looking for sex, 554 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:44,560 there is a lot of like respectful, like compliments and 555 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,240 like people helping each other and it is really nice to see. 556 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:52,440 Yeah, gay guys are. They're for each other 100%. 557 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,200 Yeah, yeah. Did you see the really sweet? 558 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,960 I was really touched by the Doctor Who put all of the 559 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,520 guidelines in for Doxy Pepin Sun Care, No. 560 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,080 It was really sensitive. I just want to make sure 561 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,320 everyone's. Because did you know that doxy 562 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,160 pep makes you sun sensitive? Yes. 563 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,040 And so he, I'm, I'm. Honey, I'm always do you see 564 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,480 this? This is a bounce. 565 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:11,640 Actually I'm using this to light your face right now. 566 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,000 My Milky run to the YouTube. That was your survival job in LA 567 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,800 was being a bounce for. I'm just like shining like a 568 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,120 bright bright, like a diamond. That's so. 569 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:25,520 Funny. OK, So we'll get back to the 570 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:32,120 cruise, but you did you have like a a hoe phase when you 571 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:37,760 started hooking up regularly? When I moved to so I did. 572 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,280 So I went. I'm from, I grew up in Vermont, 573 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,960 went to high school in Vermont, went to College in Vermont and 574 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,640 freshman year of college and I didn't want to go to college, 575 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,120 but it was like what I could afford and I was like really 576 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:53,120 bummed about it. And when I was at, I was at UVM 577 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,320 and freshman year I was like, cool. 578 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,440 So there's like 6 gay guys. Like there was just, and I also 579 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,720 wasn't very, I wasn't that like confident of a person. 580 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,360 I did have a OK. I also, I had a boyfriend when I 581 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,400 went to college. I had a high school boyfriend. 582 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,400 We ended up going to the same college. 583 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,000 Scott, wait. OK. 584 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,520 Then wait, Tell us about the boyfriend. 585 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,880 How did he come to be? I had two. 586 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,360 Boyfriends in high school at the same time. 587 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,640 No, no, no. OK, OK, because I noticed. 588 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,520 Polly. I was Polly. 589 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,080 Oh my. God, that would be. 590 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,520 Crazy there are kids now. I'm sure that are Polly in high 591 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,480 school girl. Oh yeah. 592 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,600 Oh. My favorite tweet of all time. 593 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,120 What do you mean? You're Polly and non binary in 594 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:27,440 16. Have you tried being normal? 595 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,960 It's my favorite tweet ever. Yeah. 596 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,560 Tell us about. The two boyfriends because 1 597 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:36,960 was. Brief I don't like, I don't even 598 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,720 know that we ever like no, I guess we did say we were 599 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,000 boyfriends. I dated AI, dated one boy, like 600 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,120 very briefly did these guys. Go to your school. 601 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,400 No, they went to. The school nearby, OK, that was 602 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,800 like bigger dated one like briefly, I don't even remember 603 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,120 how long, like maybe a month or two. 604 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,440 And then and his thing was kind of like I don't think he was 605 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,840 actually fully out of the closet. 606 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,200 And then like what? Whatever broke up with him. 607 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:06,080 Then I there was a boy who I like psychotically stalked for a 608 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,800 year because he was the other gay guy in town, like the only 609 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,960 other one. And then eventually we was he 610 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,160 hot was. He worth stalking? 611 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,000 He was cute, yeah. Yeah, he was older, Younger, 612 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:16,400 same. Age. 613 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,800 Same age. And then it misuse, sorry. 614 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,280 And then that was awful. That's going on the only. 615 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,200 Fans. Hell yeah. 616 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,320 I've been only fans of my guests sneezing. 617 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:26,440 That's hot. Could you imagine? 618 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,840 It's like, what did they say? It's like 1/8 of an orgasm or 619 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,400 something. Oh my God, the. 620 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,200 Oh no. Orgasms are called the tiny 621 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,680 death in French. Yeah, the stopping what the? 622 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,480 Stopping the stopping. The great stopping, yeah. 623 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,400 OK, so you stalked this boy and then we ended up. 624 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,360 Dating I like turned him around did. 625 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,280 He ever catch wise see you stalking? 626 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,800 He fully knew I was talking. It was, I was like made fun of 627 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,560 it for it was, wait, OK, I can tell the story. 628 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,760 Let me tell the story because. Basically what happened? 629 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,240 Was I found out there was a gay guy who went to the other high 630 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:01,040 school and I was like, oh, there's another gay guy in town. 631 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,160 I can have a boyfriend because like I was the only gay kid at 632 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,520 my high school. I was openly gay, but I was the 633 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:05,520 only gay kid. Wow. 634 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,600 And I wanted a boyfriend. Everyone else was dating and 635 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:08,960 doing stuff and I was like, there's no one here. 636 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,480 And like that guy hooked up with young grit. 637 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,960 Like he was older, so he graduated out. 638 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,240 So like there was no one for me to hook up with, no one for me 639 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,360 to date. I was like, I hate this but 640 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,640 people were chilled with you. Being gay for. 641 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,520 The most part, yeah. OK, cool. 642 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:24,920 And then I, so I found out this gay kid was at the other school 643 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:30,280 and he worked at this bookstore and I would go to the, I just 644 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,560 tried to go to the bookstore like all the time. 645 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,480 And then I started like doing this like psychotic thing where 646 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,400 I would like this was like peak Facebook era. 647 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:43,160 So I'd kind of like post these Facebook statuses that were sort 648 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,080 of like just for him. Yeah. 649 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,400 Like or like baiting him about a book. 650 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,080 That's at his shop or something, Yeah, or. 651 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,240 Like things like that. And I followed and I like friend 652 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,520 requested him and it's like he helped me out a bookstore once, 653 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,040 but now we're friends on Facebook and I friended his best 654 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,560 friend, who's also now still a good friend of mine. 655 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,600 But I was just like, I was like being a psycho stalker. 656 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:06,680 And then I remember like she wrote, she wrote, this is 657 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,680 actually so crazy. This was me and my craziest. 658 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,440 I was not, no. This is the. 659 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,840 Hero, have you tried being? Normal. 660 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,000 No, I know it truly. It's like, it's so like frontal 661 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,080 lobe not developed. It's crazy. 662 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,200 Yeah. So he she like posted something 663 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:20,200 on his wall. I wish you were this 664 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,320 specifically, but she posted something on his wall that was 665 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,880 obviously in reference to the fact that I was a psycho stalker 666 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,960 and I fully commented it Is this about me, like publicly 667 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,720 commented. So. 668 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,840 But here's where the twist goes. This is where the here's how the 669 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:39,080 twist happens. So then I, I was at school one 670 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:43,080 day and this girl, Julia, her best friend Rachel went to the 671 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:49,080 other school and she was like, she was like, Julia, do you know 672 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,280 this? She was like, she was like, do 673 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,200 you know this gay guy Nick that goes to the other school? 674 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,200 Because Rachel told me that. He told me that he, Rachel told 675 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,360 me that he told her that you're like obsessed with him. 676 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,320 And it's scary. And I like, froze and realized, 677 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,400 one, how crazy I'd be, and two, that I've been caught and I went 678 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,880 and who? No, I went, Oh my God, no, I 679 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,360 don't know. He must be obsessed with me. 680 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,600 That's crazy. And I started to rumor that he 681 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:18,040 was talking and everyone believed it, of course. 682 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,080 So then like me and. My best friends, like we would 683 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,080 make fun of him, bite his back like I was trying to. 684 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:23,960 Meanwhile, I knew the whole time that it was like all my fault. 685 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,480 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then. 686 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,720 What happened was I turned, oh, when I this, this all was 687 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,040 happening, like when I was 16, I'd come out of the closet like 688 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,160 right around this time when he turns to see my dad had been 689 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,680 like, you have to get a job. Like it was like a rule in my 690 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,720 family that you had to get a job at 16. 691 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,080 Wow. And so. 692 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,840 I had to get a job and the job I got because my friends all 693 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,360 worked there was the Ben and Jerry's, which was by the book. 694 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,640 Connected. To the bookstore you had to 695 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,880 enter. You entered the bookstore by 696 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,800 walking through the Ben and Jerry's was at the back. 697 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,280 So then we like, we're essentially working together and 698 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,200 we didn't have to like, talk, but like, I saw him every day. 699 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:58,800 So then we became kind of friendly. 700 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,080 Then we ended up dating. But it I and then I eventually 701 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,040 had to, I, my best friend saw me out on a date with him and was 702 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,400 like, are you with Nick right now? 703 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,400 And I had to be like, yeah, so he's actually cool. 704 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,600 And I'm kind of crazy, but we're boyfriends now and it's great. 705 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,800 And then they were all like, OK, like it was really psychotic. 706 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,160 But so then we dated for like a year and went to like college 707 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,320 together. Not like intentionally. 708 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:22,480 We just ended up going to the same college. 709 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,680 But then I broke up with him when I realized, OK, because 710 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,360 this is the only answer. Did I ever, ever have a whole 711 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:32,120 phase when I I, I so I was at UVM, I had this boyfriend, but I 712 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,160 was kind of like, oh, like, this isn't going to last forever. 713 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,360 Like he, we don't want the same things in life. 714 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,120 So I broke up with him and then I was like single, but there was 715 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,720 like no one to date or hook up with. 716 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,200 So then I found out that I could study abroad in England for 717 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,800 basically free through this like program at my school and for a 718 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,280 year. So I was like, oh, I'll just go 719 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,440 to England. So in my sophomore year, I went 720 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,640 to Brighton, England, which is like Brighton's, like the gay 721 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,120 city of England. And then I was 19. 722 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:02,080 I could drink, I could go out. And so I was at the gay. 723 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,680 Bars like every night, like just like living it up. 724 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,000 Oh my God. So that was. 725 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,360 Definitely a phase. Yeah, OK. 726 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,240 Couple questions with this boy. Did you do all your first with 727 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,960 him and how were they not? All of them. 728 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,560 But like, the basics. Yeah, OK. 729 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,320 Like. Sex, yeah, but. 730 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,040 Again, like to that point it's like we're like now that I 731 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,040 actually am like regularly having like anal sex, I'm like, 732 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,360 oh, like not really. We Yeah. 733 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:26,160 Like what we? Did. 734 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,040 Yeah, was kind of like. To like check the box like we 735 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,160 did it, but like we definitely were mostly just doing like oral 736 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,440 and stuff. OK, but it was fun and good. 737 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,440 And exciting at the time, yeah. And I really liked. 738 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,200 Him and like yeah it was like great did any part of. 739 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,840 You miss him when you were in London or were you like. 740 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,680 This relationship has run its course. 741 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,760 I know that the the. Latter. 742 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,520 Yeah, Yeah. And then what? 743 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,560 Was it like hooking up with a bunch of guys and did you get 744 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,600 like taken advantage of as like a young cute 19 year old? 745 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:54,720 Not really. No. 746 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,440 I felt pretty like in control and like OK a. 747 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,600 Lot of uncut Dicks there. There was a lot of. 748 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:01,960 That, yeah. Was that your first? 749 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:05,360 Encounter, yes. Which I figured that out pretty 750 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,480 quick. And then, yeah, I think that 751 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,840 what was interesting was it was really, really fun. 752 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,280 And then they're kind of turned to not like turn to corner. 753 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,199 It makes it sound really bad. But towards the end I was kind 754 00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:18,679 of like, cuz I would kind of do this. 755 00:34:18,679 --> 00:34:21,880 I was kind of in this cycle of like I would hook up with a guy 756 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:23,719 also because I was so new to it and all, like I would fall in 757 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:25,840 love with every guy I hooked up. So not every guy, but like if I 758 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,880 kind of was into a guy, I'd like fall in love with him. 759 00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:30,560 And then we would sort of like, and if they were into it, we 760 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,840 would like date for like 3 or 4 weeks and then I'd like, wait, 761 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,679 I'm studying abroad and I'm leaving in a year and I'm having 762 00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:36,560 and then it would end. So like that happened like a 763 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,360 many, many times while I was there. 764 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,400 Was it mainly? You coming to your senses, I. 765 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,000 It like buried in permutation. OK, like there's one, I remember 766 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,760 one time where I broke it off and like really broke this guy's 767 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:48,719 heart. I felt so bad. 768 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,159 And then like another guy did that to me like a couple months 769 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:53,560 later. Like there was definitely I was 770 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,440 there for a year. So I had time to like do a 771 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,480 bunch. But that was definitely I think. 772 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,840 And then I went back to, I went back to UVM and was like back to 773 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,720 square one, kind of of like no gay guys. 774 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:04,560 So I mean, that must have been horrible. 775 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,640 I definitely. Was like, yeah, depressive. 776 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,720 Yeah. Well, it's interesting because I 777 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:12,240 didn't, that's I, I feel like I'm talking about this in a 778 00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:13,920 million years, but it is kind of like the biggest thing that 779 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,960 happened in my life is like, I didn't realize how like 780 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,360 heterosexual my life was until like five years ago because, 781 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,760 like, UVM was really straight. And then I moved to New York and 782 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:27,440 I started working in restaurants and I started UCB, which were 783 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,600 both also quite heterosexual spaces. 784 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,280 And I was like, openly, I've been openly gay the whole time. 785 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,920 And like, I so in my mind I was like, oh, no, I live a very gay 786 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,680 life. Yeah. 787 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,200 And my best friend is gay. Like I've had the same best 788 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,120 friend since I was like 12 and he's also gay. 789 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,720 Oh, when did you guys come? Did when did he come out? 790 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,160 He came out. Well, we it's like he came out 791 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,760 to his family later than me, but like we came out to each other 792 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:52,760 over AIM like I like probably when I was like 4. 793 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,240 He's he's like 3 years older than me. 794 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:56,320 So I was probably like he was like probably like 1417. 795 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,480 Did anyone either? Ever, ever crush on the other? 796 00:35:58,480 --> 00:35:59,680 No, not really. OK, cool. 797 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,800 It was always like pretty like we're very brotherly. 798 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,240 Got it. Wait. 799 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,480 What was I talking about? The you're talking about Hedder. 800 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,600 And orange of lifestyle. Oh, and then and. 801 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,360 Like then I had a boyfriend for a long time and like we had gay 802 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,560 friends. But after I broke up with my ex 803 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,640 like five years ago, oh God, is that how many years ago? 804 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,160 Whatever it was like or like 4 years ago, it's 2020. 6 right 805 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:25,640 now, so. Yeah, like 4-4 ish years ago I, 806 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,080 I moved in with a couple gay friends of mine who I wasn't 807 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,840 super close at this time, but we became really close and I just 808 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,680 like I started going to like province town all the time. 809 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:35,640 Like my whole friend group became gay people and queer 810 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,840 people. And then my life like became 811 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,080 like 1000 times better. So. 812 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,280 Then that was kind of like, yeah, so I didn't realize, but 813 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:48,440 like my 20s were like very being the gay guy and around a lot of 814 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,400 straight people, like a very that. 815 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,000 And now I like I'm just always with gay people and it's like so 816 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,960 much more fun. Like my 30s been so much better 817 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,120 than my my 20s were like in like a crazy way. 818 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:06,560 Does is this like a pleasant surprise or did you feel stunted 819 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,400 as it was happening? It's a pleasant so like I'm 820 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,600 happy about it's, it's a pleasant surprise in the sense 821 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:16,680 that like I, I love it. Like my life is so, so happy. 822 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,440 It happened. I do sometimes get like a twinge 823 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,760 of sadness when it, when people tell stories about like like my 824 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,800 friends who like kind of they, they were in that throughout 825 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,680 their 20s as well, Like when they talk about being like 826 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,040 really in like the gay scene when they were like 22. 827 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,280 I'm like, oh, damn it. It does like suck that I kind of 828 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:35,440 wasted that time. But then again, like I'm happy 829 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:37,960 with who I, it made me whatever. You can't like really change the 830 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,960 past, so I don't got you here. Honey. 831 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,160 Exactly. So, but like I do, I would like 832 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,960 if I was giving advice to someone else who was in that 833 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,080 boat, I'd be like, just do it now, like jump in the gay boat, 834 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,440 like get in the get on the gay cruise. 835 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,240 That's frankly. The last question I asked on 836 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:54,280 this is what some advice you give to a younger version of 837 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,120 yourself. It would be that. 838 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,360 It would be that be like, go whole hog gay. 839 00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,000 Yeah, like, yeah, whole hog. Like Go. 840 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:05,400 Like like I remember like not even like the choice to go to 841 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,400 UBM. Like I think I would have been 842 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,800 better off had I gone to let some. 843 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,160 Though I do think if I moved to New York when I was 18 it would 844 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,080 have fried me. I think I would have like short 845 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:21,160 circuited, but like going the the fact that UVM did not have 846 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,760 gay people was actually a good enough reason to transfer. 847 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,520 Like I should have, but I didn't think it would. 848 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,240 Yeah, of course. So it's like but. 849 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,240 It's like, if you're not surrounded by like gay people, 850 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,520 you should need to get there. That would be the advice I would 851 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,880 give 100% isn't it? It's It's so baffling to me how 852 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:40,240 quickly your mind can expand when you are given reasons to 853 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:44,240 expand it A. 100% yeah. Well, This is why I was, I was 854 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:46,120 just talking about this. Someone like This is why I think 855 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,360 gay people are just in general like. 856 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,240 Better, better, yeah, is because. 857 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,960 The the simple like process of discovering you're gay and then 858 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:56,920 having to come out is like the first time you work the muscle 859 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,360 of like, I thought one thing was true and then this thing is true 860 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,880 and I'm accepting that. Moving on. 861 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,960 And sometimes when you're talking any political 862 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,440 conversation, any societal conversation you're having with 863 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:08,080 a straight person, I'll realize like, oh, you literally don't 864 00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:09,560 have ever. Had to do that. 865 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,680 You've never had to shift. Your perspective and you 866 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:15,840 perceive your perception. You perceive your perspective as 867 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:19,680 reality and. For everyone like this. 868 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:22,760 Is yeah, this is it. Like, it's the straight white 869 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:23,960 guy. You have an incredible joke 870 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,440 about how there's a face structure that you can only get 871 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,040 if you've never been, like, challenged or something. 872 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,200 Yeah, exactly. But it's like, yeah, they really 873 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,240 see it as like, that is the view. 874 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:37,080 And if you're not in it, you're the outlier. 875 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,040 Yes, but it's so important. And I agree with you. 876 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,640 It's like it's the bittersweet part of having to come out where 877 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,320 you're like identifying something about yourself that is 878 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:51,320 like there's violence towards it, There's like shame towards 879 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:56,080 it, and you still have to do it. And then you're like, OK, who am 880 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,080 I? And then to hear you say even 881 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,400 like after you did that, you still had like hurdles to clear 882 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,480 that you maybe didn't even know we're there. 883 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,400 Well, yeah, because I think there's. 884 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,640 So that's like, I haven't really ever thought about it This. 885 00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:11,920 It's like, it's like the, the coming out is such like this 886 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,040 specific. It's such like a specific thing 887 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,120 that is so much, like there's so much importance put on and it is 888 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,160 important, obviously. But I kind of thought like, I, 889 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,600 oh, I came out so I'm out and that's it. 890 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,160 There's no, but it was like, Oh yeah. 891 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,720 But you're not like a like the way I articulate it usually is. 892 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:32,040 Like I was like, I've been openly gay since I was 16, but 893 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:33,840 I've only been a faggot for like 5 years. 894 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,160 I love that distinction and like that. 895 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,600 But, and that feels really true to me, like, and I'm once I 896 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,800 became a faggot, yeah, I was much happier. 897 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,480 There's something. So liberating too, about like, 898 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,160 first of all, being gay and then not being held to all the 899 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:49,640 standards that straight people are. 900 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:55,080 But yeah, I really celebrate anytime you get to like, release 901 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:56,600 something. Oh, totally. 902 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:03,840 OK, So that being said, do you, are you a relationship girly? 903 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,840 Do you find yourself wanting? Definitely. 904 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,560 Wanting OK I was in a relationship from 23 to 29. 905 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,360 Oh my. God OK, I thought you meant the 906 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,320 years. I was like. 907 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,480 Oh, no. Ages, yeah. 908 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,840 That's a long time. It was a really long time it. 909 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,320 Was six years and how was it? In a nutshell, if you had to say 910 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:28,800 like headline like. He's a great guy, like great 911 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,400 guy. Like and like we're still 912 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:35,920 friendly, but I think it is tied to what we were talking in 913 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,440 earlier. Like I wasn't fully like 914 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:43,120 developed yet, you know? And so I think and like when I 915 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,880 started to develop, I was like, oh, this isn't working, You know 916 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,720 what I mean? And I think I also think a big 917 00:41:48,720 --> 00:41:51,320 part of it was that I didn't understand we were both child of 918 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,720 children of divorce. And I think neither of us had 919 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:56,960 ever really had examples of like what actual partnership is. 920 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,640 And something really amazing happened was I got to, I lived 921 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,240 with a gay married couple after that breakup and. 922 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,760 Seeing. Like a married couple work. 923 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,640 Together, yeah, And be gay. I was like, oh, and now I want 924 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:15,960 that, you know, And so the and so now I'm like, I'm dating 925 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,640 pretty actively. Like definitely with the 926 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:19,440 interest of like, I would like to have like a boyfriend and a 927 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,000 partner. But like, and I'm literally 928 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,440 trying to write down about this right now, but it's like, it's 929 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:28,880 like the negotiation of like, what does that mean to you? 930 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,960 Like what does have it? What does like a boyfriend mean 931 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,240 to you? Like what does a partner mean to 932 00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:33,000 you? Like what are the things you 933 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,680 actually want? And I definitely I like the idea 934 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,240 of like, it's nice to see people when I realize it's like, oh, 935 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:41,800 it's just having someone who's like your point person kind of 936 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,880 yeah, I do want that. You're like. 937 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:48,720 Grounding, yeah, but. Because I know very specifically 938 00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:51,760 what I want. You're not willing to settle? 939 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,200 Yeah. Well, also because I've, I now 940 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,200 have had the experience of being in a relationship and it not 941 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,520 being quite right and then like the pain of that and having to 942 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,600 like breaks, break up with someone and all that. 943 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,480 Like I don't really want to ever have to do that again. 944 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:03,240 Do you? Is it? 945 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,440 You that talked about in your scene of having to break up with 946 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:06,520 someone who's done nothing wrong. 947 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,200 Damn, so real. Yeah, 'cause you're like, 948 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,720 nothing's wrong. Apparently not. 949 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,000 For that crowd, though, they hated that joke. 950 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,080 I think what I've realized that these cruises is nothing 951 00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,240 cerebral. Nothing. 952 00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,600 So here's the. Thing that's kind of all I do so 953 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,840 let's oh. God, OK, yeah, I will be. 954 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,640 Bowing twice tonight. No, you still did great. 955 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:28,560 No thanks. Yeah. 956 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:33,000 But yeah, it's, it's so painful because you're like, nothing's 957 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,120 wrong. Yeah. 958 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,080 Or it's the guys who are perfect on paper and you're just like, I 959 00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,960 don't want to be in a car with them for 8 hours. 960 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,760 That's the thing. Or like, like a big thing with 961 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,480 us was like, I like, I wanted to go out all the time. 962 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,360 I wanted to go live life. And he'd be like, let's stay 963 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,520 home. And I was like, oh, like it's 964 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,560 like this isn't like about like who's morally right? 965 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,360 It's like we literally want to do 2 different things. 966 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,640 Yeah. Who was there an age gap? 967 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,280 Nobody's age. Wow. 968 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,600 Just different types. Introvert, extrovert. 969 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,960 Yeah, like. Profoundly, yeah. 970 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,480 You know, and if it's like in a different timeline, a different 971 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:10,560 person like you can make that work where it's like they love 972 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,760 reading at home and then you filling them in on the crazy 973 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:14,920 things that totally, totally, totally. 974 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,080 But it's that matter of. Like if you want a partner who's 975 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,880 a wing man too, yeah. Then it's not going to. 976 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:27,760 Be that person OK let's do a round of hot or not. 977 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,440 OK this is where I list things and you tell me if you find them 978 00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:31,640 hot or not. I love this. 979 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:39,440 OK, so let's say natural like body odor or like Musk as it's 980 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,640 known? Well, I think. 981 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,760 That's like a select, like sometimes it's hot and sometimes 982 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,240 it's not sure, depending on the guy, you know what I mean? 983 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:46,800 Sometimes there's like a certain smell where I'm like, oh, here 984 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,200 we go. And then there's like another 985 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,640 smell where I'm like, you gotta go. 986 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,920 So like. To be clear, do you wear 987 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,440 deodorant and or Cologne? I wear both. 988 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,440 OK. And like it doesn't bother you 989 00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,720 if a guy has a scent on? No, I like. 990 00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:03,560 It OK, I like it because like, I think it's really hot when I 991 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,040 mean, I if I like the scent, I don't like Aqua, but I, I do 992 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,200 really love fragrance. Like I love wearing fragrances. 993 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,440 I have like when I wear almost every day and now I'm like 994 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,680 collecting other ones. Really. 995 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,320 Yeah, I really like fragrance. It's like a thing I've gotten 996 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,440 into. I've had the same. 997 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,240 Scent since college where Dunhill fresh. 998 00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,360 It's like, oh, I love that one. Really. 999 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,560 Yeah. Because it's like kind of like 1000 00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,960 it's like an old man brand. No, that's why. 1001 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,000 Yeah, but it it. Smells very springy, very like 1002 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,920 non threatening. Yeah, I wear by, I wear. 1003 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,720 I'm a leak by by Rado that's like my like classic and then I 1004 00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,360 have other ones off the IT sounds expensive. 1005 00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,840 It's like the bottle's like 200 bucks, but it lasts like a like 1006 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,360 a long time. Do you ever go to? 1007 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:42,120 Those scent stores where they like mix and match and stuff, 1008 00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,240 Yeah, I've done that. Before it's fun, yeah, but you 1009 00:45:45,240 --> 00:45:47,840 know, I really like fragrances. But so I think it's really hot, 1010 00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:51,920 like like like I like, I like body smell too. 1011 00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:55,040 Like, a little bit of Bo is nice, like a little bit of Musk, 1012 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,120 but like half too much. Yeah, Yeah, But too much is like 1013 00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,560 crazy, you know, some guys love it, some guys love it. 1014 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:04,440 But I love, especially if you're like hooking up with a guy that 1015 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:08,960 wears A fragrance and then you're like out and you smell 1016 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:09,840 it. Without them. 1017 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,400 But you smell it and you're like, that's so hot, that's so 1018 00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,720 hot. Do you know what I mean? 1019 00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:16,680 When you like get like it's like that is. 1020 00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:19,920 And then you text them being like, I just want to like so 1021 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,400 hot, so hot. It's like. 1022 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,840 Well I guess this could be the next topic but like I'm just 1023 00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,720 going to say Dick pics. Do you hot? 1024 00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:29,680 Or not. Oh hot. 1025 00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:30,360 Hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1026 00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,920 Because I was going to say. A guy has sent me before, like 1027 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,640 when we we just started hooking up and I think he was out of 1028 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,160 town, but he was like on he sent me a video of him on the 1029 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,840 treadmill with his like Dick, like bouncing in his shorts and 1030 00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,000 I was just like feral. Yeah, that'll. 1031 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:47,440 Get you. Yeah, yeah. 1032 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,000 I love receiving them. I kind of actually like, really 1033 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,840 hate taking them. OK. 1034 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,760 Let's talk about it. Do you have any? 1035 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:58,840 Just like I think a Dick pic you can use for like 2 to three 1036 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,760 years. Dicks don't change. 1037 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,680 Anyone who's had gotten a Dick pic from me? 1038 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,360 It's the same pick. There's one pick Great and. 1039 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,040 I'm sure that's the one circulating online right now, 1040 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:10,720 yeah. Do you know there's a site 1041 00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:12,560 called LPSG? I check mine like once. 1042 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:16,480 A week, I check mine like once a week to see if someone because 1043 00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,960 I'm kind of thinking because like if I check it once a week, 1044 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:22,400 it's like when it does because it's going to leak at some point 1045 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:26,000 it's going to get posted online. I know that obviously I want to 1046 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,440 get them taken down, but also based on the timing, I'll know 1047 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,160 who it was. I would never. 1048 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:36,680 I've sensed it out already to 35 people on this ship, but those 1049 00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,720 people. Have had it and they haven't. 1050 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,480 So then if it one day it goes it's like who did I just send it 1051 00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,360 to? Because why do you know what I 1052 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:44,240 mean? How often do you? 1053 00:47:44,240 --> 00:47:45,400 Send it. Not often. 1054 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:47,320 It go, I go. Through phases of being like 1055 00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:48,880 really on the apps and running, then I go through phases where 1056 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,440 like, I'm not, yeah, maybe I'm like hooking up with someone and 1057 00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:56,920 it's fine, whatever. I mine mine leaked a long time 1058 00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:00,760 ago but I do stand by mine and I don't ever put my face. 1059 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,640 Where did you lift them up? Well, mine wasn't. 1060 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,600 I don't honestly LPSG. I've only visited a handful of 1061 00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,400 times because I don't find the interface. 1062 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:08,960 It's the ugliest. Website ever? 1063 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,560 Yeah, it's like hard. To NAV I have found it hard to 1064 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,320 navigate I guess. Oh yeah, I just. 1065 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:16,600 Go in, search my name, click on the thread and and then I check 1066 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:17,760 and see if anything's been posted. 1067 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,240 Mine was on. Like this British like tabloid 1068 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:25,520 site and it was like 9 photos and four of them were me but the 1069 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,520 other five weren't and I was like oh let it fly. 1070 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,080 That's so funny. Keep on guessing. 1071 00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,920 I also almost never said nudes with my face in them. 1072 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,520 Probably no, I would never. But I do. 1073 00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,520 Have I have tattoos I. Have tattoos too, who cares? 1074 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,920 Here's the thing. Ultimately, we're the victim of 1075 00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:40,080 a crime. No 100%. 1076 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,200 There's no, I feel no shame. I feel no shame. 1077 00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:43,120 You're like, yeah, look. At it. 1078 00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:47,600 Yeah. OK, so Dick pics come. 1079 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:49,720 Weren't we talking about this the other? 1080 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,680 Like I think coming is hot but like the actual fluid does not 1081 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:53,640 do that much? Sure, sure. 1082 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,240 Sure, sure, sure. Yes, you told me that. 1083 00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:58,760 OK, balls if they're. Pretty. 1084 00:48:58,760 --> 00:48:59,600 Yeah. What are? 1085 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,920 What are? Pretty balls. 1086 00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:05,120 They're they're commonly known as the most horrifying looking 1087 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,880 thing like on a man. Yeah. 1088 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,120 Well, you know, like some if they don't look like 1089 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,160 structurally sound, do you know what I mean? 1090 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:16,880 It's like like, I think that's sort of the issue that was like 1091 00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,840 structurally. Sound is so funny. 1092 00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:20,720 It's like, it's like. Yeah, like the engineering seems 1093 00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:24,000 a little off or like dilapidated like that's. 1094 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:29,840 Also like I do feel bad for them when they're small and cold and 1095 00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,880 or clung to the body. Well, have you ever had sex 1096 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,120 with? A guy that's on steroids, his 1097 00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:34,680 balls are like, literally marbles. 1098 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:35,960 No. Yeah. 1099 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,360 Like if guys don't take testosterone or steroids, like 1100 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:39,920 it makes their balls. Like, I talked. 1101 00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,200 I was talking to my girlfriend about it and she was like, she 1102 00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,680 was like, I literally hate that. It feels like I'm playing with 1103 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,840 grapes. Oh, I have hooked up with guys 1104 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,680 where they were like, it was like flush with their body. 1105 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,360 That might have been that they. Were on testosterone. 1106 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,200 That's a bummer. Because I do like balls. 1107 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:58,400 I think like, like, like a big sack is like hot. 1108 00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally, totally, totally, 1109 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,440 totally. Or like seeing them through 1110 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:05,280 shorts. A bulge have them. 1111 00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,440 I like don't. Even I notice butts kind of, but 1112 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,680 like I'm looking at the bulge. Oh, I'm looking at the butt. 1113 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,320 Really, Butt? A. 1114 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,000 Beautiful. Like a beautiful butt. 1115 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,920 Yeah, looking at butt. I'm looking at the bulge too. 1116 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:18,880 I I sort of like, I'm like, I don't really operate in the 1117 00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,480 binaries. I'm like, let's do both, OK? 1118 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,480 That's fair. Yeah. 1119 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,320 It's, I guess it's a case by case basis. 1120 00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:27,480 But ultimately like a guy in sweats in line for Starbucks who 1121 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:32,520 does this and he is like a happy trail and like a like a, a penis 1122 00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,680 line. Yeah, I'm like, like, I'm going 1123 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:35,920 to attack you. Yeah. 1124 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:37,960 You're not safe. Sure. 1125 00:50:39,720 --> 00:50:42,720 OK. Group sex. 1126 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:51,120 I'm not like a but like I would say I'm pretty far on the not 1127 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,280 scale personally. Like a like a threesome or more 1128 00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:54,800 of a one-on-one? No, sorry. 1129 00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,840 Like when I hear like group sex, like a party, not really my 1130 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:02,240 vibe, like 20 people in a room, but like four or five guys. 1131 00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,880 Yeah. But I would, but it would, I 1132 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,440 would want it to be like guys I knew, OK. 1133 00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:11,880 It's a curated group like 5. Strangers not so exciting to me, 1134 00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,160 but like if I was like, if I let's say I was like hooking up 1135 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,320 with someone and then we were out with like another couple or 1136 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,600 like with a couple of friends and we're like, that could be 1137 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,360 like fun and hot to me. Yeah, OK. 1138 00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:22,920 Did I ask you the sex with friends? 1139 00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:27,920 I or blurred you? Know blurred Lines in the Yeah, 1140 00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,000 there's like a. Tear I have like an inner circle 1141 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,560 of gay guys that like we are all very platonic and then there's 1142 00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,880 like a tear of friends outside of that that then there's a 1143 00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:37,640 little. Bit of like, yeah, but they're 1144 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:40,320 not like and I. Love that OK and I have a couple 1145 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,680 friends I was just talking to this about someone. 1146 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,880 I have a couple friends where like it is like a very sexual 1147 00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:52,680 friendship that is like exists in that space very comfortably, 1148 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,320 like a lot like a couple of them have like a husband or 1149 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,680 something. So it's like it's, it's not 1150 00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,320 going to become like this. But it. 1151 00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:02,400 It is on the. Table sort of or like it's. 1152 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,200 Almost like an integral part of our friendship is that we have 1153 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:05,680 sex. Like I have a couple friends 1154 00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,560 like that. Yeah, that's. 1155 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,080 Beautiful. Yeah, it's I. 1156 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:15,400 Like it a lot I do think. That having sex or sexual things 1157 00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,920 with a friend is like. Probably the highest form of 1158 00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:22,960 like intimacy in a weird way where it's like I trust this 1159 00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:27,160 person and I find them beautiful and like alluring. 100% It's 1160 00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:29,400 just like I don't know if it's an age thing. 1161 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,360 I often like forget that my friends have genitalia or I'm 1162 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:35,320 like we're not here for this like I. 1163 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:39,200 Like, I feel like there's some gay guys, some like, yeah, 1164 00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,600 there's ones where I'm like, yeah, where it's like, I don't 1165 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,360 think about that at all with them. 1166 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,000 Degradation. Hate. 1167 00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,360 Saying so out for me. What about? 1168 00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,680 Dom sub yes, but in a. Nice way. 1169 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,280 Yeah, the dynamic like submissive dominant is totally 1170 00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:56,640 fine, but I don't like anything mean I don't wanna, I don't like 1171 00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:00,600 anything, any part of my sex being like violent. 1172 00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:03,880 Yeah, or. Like acrimonious, like I don't. 1173 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:08,560 It's like not interesting to me. Every time I hear acrimony I 1174 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:13,000 hear alimony and I was like how the fuck is I was just going to 1175 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,320 roll with it. It's funny that. 1176 00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,880 You point that out because I was like only 80% confident that 1177 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,200 acrimonious was the right word when I used it. 1178 00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,560 I still don't know. I think I I. 1179 00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:22,400 Think I used it right but let me know this is a Google. 1180 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:26,200 Free zone, so no one unless you know without Googling you can't 1181 00:53:26,240 --> 00:53:35,280 fucking see feet. Occasionally hot, OK. 1182 00:53:35,720 --> 00:53:38,040 And like, sometimes it's not like I have a foot thing, but 1183 00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:39,480 like, do you ever look at a guy? So you're like, those are 1184 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:40,560 beautiful. Yeah, of course. 1185 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:44,160 I have a vein, I have much bigger but hands. 1186 00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:47,320 Are huge for me, a guy with sexy hands, it's. 1187 00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:50,960 Like that French creator. That was bias. 1188 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:54,560 He did. Have good hands but not his but 1189 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:56,280 I've seen better. But like his hands were good. 1190 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,400 I bet they were. Soft, yeah, but. 1191 00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:01,600 Like hot hands are. That's like, that's like one 1192 00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,040 that'll get me. Damn. 1193 00:54:03,720 --> 00:54:06,760 OK, body hair hot. Yeah, yeah. 1194 00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:08,720 What about? Waxed. 1195 00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:13,680 Occasionally hot OK depending on the situation. 1196 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,840 Long. Hair I. 1197 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,120 Used to think not hot but then I had sex with someone with long 1198 00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:19,480 hair and I was like oh this is fun. 1199 00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:20,760 Was it up or was? It down. 1200 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,480 It was down. And. 1201 00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,640 What position? I changed the game for you 1202 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,720 because it was like him on top. Of me and me playing with his 1203 00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:29,560 hair. Oh my. 1204 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:31,320 And it. Was just like so much. 1205 00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:35,880 And he's like bam, bam, bam, bam, Yeah. 1206 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:37,680 I was like, I get the Tarzan thing now. 1207 00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:45,280 Choking. Like a little bit, not not super 1208 00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:48,520 often in my playbook, but like I'm not anti it really sure. 1209 00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:53,840 Spit. I almost always know, but then 1210 00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,440 every once in a while it works. Yeah, like her guy. 1211 00:54:55,440 --> 00:55:02,280 Was like, and you're like, yeah, Oh my God, it was, it was such a 1212 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:07,160 good oh, PDA. Yeah, I love a dance floor make 1213 00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:12,160 out. I love like I love like. 1214 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,440 Yeah, I'm into PDA. What about? 1215 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,320 Being cheating or being the other woman. 1216 00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,360 Not hot to me. That was a weird. 1217 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,640 Moral one that I slipped in there? 1218 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,280 No, but it's like. I get what you're saying. 1219 00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:26,720 Or like even like the fan even doing like a role play of it. 1220 00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:29,000 Or maybe it's. Like the guy with the girlfriend 1221 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:32,600 who's like dude like I like I want this like my girlfriend 1222 00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:37,280 never sucks my Dick. I think part of me would think 1223 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,120 that's hot and part of me would be like, I'm not into this. 1224 00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:41,160 Like I would be conflicted. It's like it. 1225 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,840 Lives in a fantasy, yeah. And it's like, well, it it. 1226 00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,200 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also it's pretty there's 1227 00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,240 like, you know, the trauma from being in the closet will always 1228 00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:50,200 make you be, like, a little bit excited about, like a guy you 1229 00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,760 didn't know was gay and secretly wanting to be. 1230 00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:54,400 Yeah, exactly. That's always good. 1231 00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:56,840 But my fan is. It's like every girl on the 1232 00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,960 subway who's like, man spreading and like, basketball shirts and 1233 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:05,920 like, yeah, sex toys hot. Are there any? 1234 00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:12,320 Favorites that you have. I yeah, I I only really like 1235 00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:13,640 that I own. Sure. 1236 00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,600 I only really have Oh, I don't like a Cochrane is not something 1237 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:17,680 I would ever want to put on my body. 1238 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,960 Why? I do think it's cheating. 1239 00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:23,600 What I do think cockerings are cheating. 1240 00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,520 I'm like, that's not you're. This is a performance in hand. 1241 00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:27,680 I thought you were like cheating. 1242 00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:30,240 No, no. No, sorry that and I just 1243 00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:33,400 brought up cheating so OK, I think it's like I like when 1244 00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:34,680 other. Guys, I have no issues with 1245 00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,880 another guy wearing them. It's the constrictiveness is not 1246 00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:44,160 interesting to me and I someone recently told me a story about a 1247 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:47,040 conquering that literally made me like almost pass out. 1248 00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:48,360 What was it? It's really bad. 1249 00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:54,160 It was like a guy was gooning and was like really high and 1250 00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:55,680 like on meth. I think on meth. 1251 00:56:56,400 --> 00:57:01,240 And was had a conquering on and it like went so long that he 1252 00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,320 fell asleep and slept for like 8 hours. 1253 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,440 And when he woke up his Dick had died like turned black and like 1254 00:57:07,240 --> 00:57:09,240 we've gone necrotic because of the circulation cut off. 1255 00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:10,920 And he had to have it like the Dick and balls. 1256 00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:15,000 Like it's really bad. I told you I'd say really. 1257 00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,120 Well, we're going to end it right. 1258 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:21,640 There. And not I was. 1259 00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:23,720 Like I don't think I can ever put a cock ring on again. 1260 00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,120 Oh my God, no, I know. It's so. 1261 00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:30,680 Bad. I didn't even know it could be 1262 00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,040 that doctor friend told me. That like came into the ER dead 1263 00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:33,960 Dick. It happened to my. 1264 00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,160 Friends cousin not having my friends cousin. 1265 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:38,080 Okay, so. I think you already answered the 1266 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:41,880 what advice we give. The advice is to jump in, yeah. 1267 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:46,240 Go as gay as you gay as you can as quickly as possible, OK, and? 1268 00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,600 Then the last thing is tell the tower bottoms where they can 1269 00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,480 find love and support you, the tower. 1270 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,280 Bottoms. That's it you can follow. 1271 00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:56,480 Me at Jake W Cornell on TikTok for Instagram. 1272 00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:59,840 My website isjakecornell.com and that is where you can get all 1273 00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:03,280 the tickets to my dates. I'll be in Minneapolis, New 1274 00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:07,920 Orleans, San Francisco, Boston, Damn I'm forgetting somewhere. 1275 00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:14,800 DC and Dallas and Tyler, TX in the next couple months and you 1276 00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:16,440 can find my nudes on LPSG probably. 1277 00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,440 Yay. OK, I'll post this soon then. 1278 00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,040 And until next time, keep sucking and fucking. 1279 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:29,720 Hello, Tower Bottoms. It's me, your host, Zach Newry 1280 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,560 Towers. Thank you so much for listening 1281 00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:34,360 to Good Side Pod. If you haven't already, give it 1282 00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:37,200 a five star rating. Leave a review, share it with a 1283 00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,520 friend, get the word out. I love you so much.