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Jordan Thule. 
Hey, Zach. 

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Thanks for coming on the pod. 
Yeah, absolutely. 

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This is our first time, like 
having a real like one-on-one 

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conversation. 
Yes. 

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And it is a sex podcast. 
Yeah, but does that scare you or

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freak you out at. 
All. 

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No, I don't think so. 
OK. 

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I think maybe like five years 
ago or 10 years ago, I 

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definitely would have, yeah. 
But. 

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How old are you? 
31. 

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OK, I was like would that make 
you 16 or like should I not be 

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talking to that version of? 
You start at four years ago. 

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Wow, 31. 
OK, OK, yeah. 

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How long have you been in LA? 
Two years. 

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I grew up in LA. 
Oh, OK, OK. 

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So I went to college when I was 
18 and I moved back two years. 

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Ago. 
Got it. 

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Got it. 
Yeah. 

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Did you do East Coast at all? 
No. 

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OK yeah, fuck the East Coast, 
fuck the. 

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East Coast. 
I don't need the East Coast. 

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Where are you from? 
St. 

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Louis, MO Oh, OK. 
But I went to Indiana for 

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college and then I moved out 
here and I've been here 17 

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years. 
Oh, wow. 

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Yeah, it's been in it. 
That's awesome. 

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Yeah. 
I love it. 

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I love it too. 
I'm like, I, I'm so used to it. 

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Everybody complaints about the 
same things, but I, I like it. 

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And yeah. 
I mean, you have traffic. 

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This is the thing too. 
People in the East Coast like, 

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oh, traffic, traffic, traffic. 
Have you tried to get from like 

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the Upper West Side to Brooklyn?
And you that's taken you an hour

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too. 
Or even like Brooklyn to 

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Williamsburg. 
You'd think they're right next 

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to each other and they're not, 
no. 

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They make it sound like we're 
like the traffic city. 

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No, it's congested there too. 
The only difference is they 

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could look at their phone while 
they go. 

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I know from 1:00. 
To the other, well, I look at my

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phone. 
Yeah, with less, you can really 

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lock in on the subway. 
I mean, there's nothing more 

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scary. 
I walk around a lot because I 

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live in West Hollywood. 
Everything's pretty walkable. 

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But I'll look into cars, people 
just driving these one ton 

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machines like this, like looking
down into their lap like it's so

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it's so scary. 
And, and every cop is looking at

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their like, laptop, yeah, it's 
an even bigger screen. 

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Yeah, that's got to be so 
interesting. 

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They're they're like looking up 
everybody's details and stuff. 

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I would do that for sure. 
Background. 

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Everybody's. 
Anybody who looks weird to them,

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they could look them up. 
I'm sure they're doing it 

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constantly. 
I would just use it. 

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If I saw like a cute person, I'd
look up their license plate and 

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be like, what's their whole 
deal? 

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And I'm relatively mentally well
like do. 

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You ever have something that 
your parent told you when like a

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long time ago and then you get 
older and you go wait what the 

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fuck? 
Yes. 

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My my dad told me long time ago 
that in the 70s if him and his 

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friends saw a hot girl it they 
would bump into her car so that 

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they can get out and talk to 
her. 

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And I guess that was back when 
cars had huge like bumper car. 

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Bender. 
Bender Yeah. 

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This much better but it's 
insane. 

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You get older and you go what 
you like. 

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What accident so horny you like 
bumped into her. 

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That's insane. 
That's crazy. 

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That's assault. 
It really is. 

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My mom actually told me a fucked
up story too. 

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She was visiting her sister, my 
aunt, when she was a teenager. 

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My aunt was like 21. 
And they're walking back to my 

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aunt's apartment and they get 
jumped to these two guys jump 

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out of an alley with a gun and 
they hold them up. 

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They robbed them. 
Oh my God. 

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And they gave them like a, a few
dollars, some crappy jewelry. 

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And they're about to like go 
their separate ways. 

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And my aunt goes, she felt like 
bad, I guess. 

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And she's like, I'm so sorry. 
We didn't have anything. 

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I live right there. 
Oh my God. 

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No. 
And my mom jumped in and she 

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goes no, no, no. 
There's nothing of value there 

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either. 
We don't even have ATV. 

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Why don't we walk with you until
you find other people to rob 

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like we'll like help you find? 
For the robber. 

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It I don't it's an accomplice at
that point you're like we're 

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we'll make you look more like 
like OK. 

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Yeah, that's like an origin 
story. 

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And she's like, I thought I was 
clever. 

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I'm like, you're a criminal 
anyway. 

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OK, So. 
Oh, for those of you who don't 

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know, Jordan's an incredible 
comedian. 

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You I know for sure have a Don't
Tell set out? 

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Is that like the main thing 
people should go to check? 

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Out. 
Yeah, OK. 

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Yeah, clips online and don't. 
Tell us and maybe a podcast 

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again in the future. 
A podcast with a very flimsy 

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premise. 
Coming your way. 

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OK, OK. 
Is that it's because it was too 

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much of A premise before? 
Yeah, I think I'm like kind of 

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backlashing. 
Can you say what the premise 

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was? 
The the old premise. 

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I had a podcast in like 2014. 
Oh my God. 16 probably. 

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And it was, it was like mainly 
me and another comedian friend, 

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like the joke was that it was a 
bad idea. 

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We used to be awful comics. 
We all were drowning in irony 

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and like you know. 
But it was the called the Birthy

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Birthday Show. 
And love it about birthdays. 

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And we would take like, whoever 
the guest was, we would find 

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their birthday and like, give 
them like fun facts about it and

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like trivia. 
I love this so far do. 

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You like this and it's so 
joyous. 

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Yeah, it it was. 
It was just very silly, like 

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which of these is true? 
And like making up games about 

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it. 
And then it had like sound 

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drops, my friend was like making
songs for different segments 

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that I would. 
OK, now we're getting extra. 

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Yeah, it was a lot. 
It was too much. 

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I like the flimsiness of if you 
took the birthday thing, like 

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finding out your guest's 
birthday and then looking up 

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astrology stuff, looking up 
famous people that they were 

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born that time and then like 
quizzing them and stuff. 

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Yeah. 
And I. 

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Think that's what it and the 
guest is like, there's that 

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natural. 
They go like, oh, I didn't know 

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that. 
Yeah, of course. 

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Why? 
Would I? 

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National Hot Dog Day? 
I had no idea. 

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Exactly. 
Yeah, but the new one is just 

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gonna be like a show up and 
chat. 

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Jordan time, yeah. 
At the Jordan zone an. 

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Hour with Jordan. 
Yeah. 

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Jordan cast. 
I respect that, too. 

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Keep it loosey goosey, keep it 
fun. 

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Have your friends on. 
Yeah. 

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For me, it's just like, I do 
this to use it like, do you 

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know, do you ever have too much 
like, kind of like too much free

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time on your hands? 
Sort of, Yeah. 

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And then it's like, well, at 
least this is like something I 

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have to do. 
You know, I find I, I either 

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have existentially dreadful 
amount of free time or I have 

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absolutely no free time and it's
never in between. 

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Which do you? 
Also, which you prefer would say

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the existential dread? 
But like, right now, I feel very

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busy. 
I have a bunch of things I'm 

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working on and I'm like, kind of
like missing the times where I 

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would like, play Fortnite for 
four hours and just like, be 

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hanging out. 
So that sounds nice. 

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But I would have like bouts of 
depression in that time. 

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And those times it doesn't 
happen as much now because I'm 

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so distracted. 
Of course, so and that is the 

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the crime involved. 
I remember in February being 

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like I had been traveling a lot 
and I was like, I wish I was 

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just like in LA for a bit cut 
too. 

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I'm in LA for a. 
Bit monkey's paw, get what you 

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want. 
Panicking, I'm like, I'm done, 

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I'm done. 
I've aged out. 

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No work for me. 
Like, yeah, too much, too much 

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time to think. 
I know. 

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Well, that's what straight about
travelling is. 

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You're on the go, so like, you 
can't get back to that e-mail. 

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You're on the bus. 
Totally. 

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Yeah, you can't write that 
thing. 

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You're on the plane, you're 
doing something. 

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Yes, you're sitting and you're 
looking at your phone, but 

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that's doing. 
Something you're travelling 

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working? 
Yes, that's working. 

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OK, let's go back to the 
beginning of your like, sexual 

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journey. 
Do you remember when you were a 

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kid the first things that made 
you aware of sex or dare I say, 

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like horny? 
Yeah, OK, let me think. 

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Wow. 
As a kid I, well, I remember 

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kind of the first things I was 
like looking up on online. 

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You like? 
Fully had Internet when you were

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like, yeah, becoming a curious 
kid. 

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Yes, but the like it was like a 
bit of like proto websites, but 

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I I would go to likeplayboy.com 
sure 'cause that's like what I 

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knew to type in outside. 
Ofboobs.com. 

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Yeah, yeah. 
Boobs Playboy. 

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Totally. 
And I, I was like, pretty, I, I 

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had a friend who would watch 
like hardcore porn, like right 

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off the bat. 
And that was too scary for me. 

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I kind of do that. 
So I, I would do these like, I 

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remember something I was really 
into was these, I think it was 

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on Playboy. 
It was like these slider puzzles

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where you would solve a puzzle 
and it would like, make the 

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image like, yeah. 
I can picture it, it's. 

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Like, very slow, and like the 
vagina doesn't freak you out by 

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coming too fast, you know? 
But you gotta know where it's 

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gonna. 
Be it slowly flicks into place. 

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That's so funny. 
Were you of the era of like 

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downloading porn clips? 
Like did you do that on like 

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Limewire or anything like that? 
No, my brother did that and 

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thanks to this day that I didn't
know he was doing that, but. 

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Did you guys have a family 
computer? 

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Yeah. 
Well, he, this was his big 

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gambit is he had an external 
hard drive smart and he never 

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put together that I could take 
the external hard drive and just

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00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,520
put it into a different 
computer. 

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Plug it in. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

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A few years later when I got a 
computer, it was weird stuff on 

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there, really. 
Yeah, it was like. 

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00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,680
Wait, I don't want you to like. 
I don't want you to like, be 

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like. 
You have to take that out. 

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00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,840
I also don't want to thank you 
for catching that. 

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I don't want to say either, but.
My brother and like he would 

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talk about this, he got into 
furry stuff like furry stories, 

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but like in like the early, late
90s, early 2000s like that blew 

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my parents mind like they did 
not know what like are we having

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our son committed like do we 
need an exorcist? 

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Like what is going on? 
It's. 

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Scary and this is also that 
saying my brother had weird 

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stuff was also like on the 
backdrop of me being like 

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nervous about it in general. 
I think it was like a gang bang.

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To me that was. 
Sure. 

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You're doing violence against 
women? 

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00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:47,800
Yeah, I also love the porn. 
Scared you at 1st that when we 

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found a video at my friend's, my
friend's dad had a video that we

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put in and I was like this isn't
real. 

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Like whatever is happening is 
not real. 

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Like, I just didn't understand 
that Dick's got like that and 

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like. 
You know what I mean? 

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It blew my mind. 
Right Oh this is another like 

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that just like triggered a 
memory which was. 

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He start weeping, I. 
Haven't thought about. 

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This. 
My, I think I was like with 

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playing with my friend at my 
house and one, we were like 

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talking about boners. 
Cause like when you're, when 

230
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,960
you're a little boy, you know 
what a boner is. 

231
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,880
You don't know what it's for, 
but you know, you totally know 

232
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,880
what it is. 
Yes. 

233
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,760
And then I, my dad said 
something like, he, he did that 

234
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,240
thing where he's like, oh, don't
say that. 

235
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,280
And that's what made us go, 
wait, why? 

236
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,120
And he said, 'cause they're 
sexual. 

237
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,600
And I went, what do you mean 
they're sexual? 

238
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,800
And that was like starting to 
like put it together. 

239
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,880
Woo woo, the puzzle piece from 
the Playboy. 

240
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:41,840
I'm saying. 
Oh. 

241
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,280
Together. 
Oh my God. 

242
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,440
It's so trippy to think back of 
when we didn't know I. 

243
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,840
Know you know another one is. 
Oh my God I love this. 

244
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:57,080
OK. 
In Austin Powers or no, it's 

245
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,960
Wayne's World. 
In Wayne's World, there's a line

246
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,440
where I think Garth says like 
sphincter says what? 

247
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,600
And I asked my dad what's a 
sphincter? 

248
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,840
And I swear to God, word for 
word what he said, He said it's 

249
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,960
something deep up your butt that
when you touch it, it makes you 

250
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,600
go. 
Oh no, that's not even right. 

251
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,720
That's so wrong, it took me so. 
Long to realize that wasn't 

252
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,160
right. 
I also think he meant the 

253
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,760
prostate. 
He was clearly confusing it for 

254
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,920
the the prostate. 
But props to your dad for 

255
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,360
knowing something in his butt 
made you go woo. 

256
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,400
I know, crazy that that's what 
we were. 

257
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,800
We went to these people for 
guidance and they fucking told 

258
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,840
us stuff like that. 
That's why we needed the 

259
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,760
Internet and playboy.com. 
Thank you. 

260
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,520
Yeah. 
There needs to be there needs to

261
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:45,800
be like an adult TikTok, like 
really let loose and like talk 

262
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,760
and show things that you like, 
need to know about. 

263
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,200
That's true. 
Yeah. 

264
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,520
I it's. 
And it's funny too that like, I 

265
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,920
personally haven't felt the woo 
from that. 

266
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,720
And I'm like, did my dad? 
Had my dad to that point. 

267
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,600
He did, but I think it's crazy 
that he knew about it but he 

268
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,240
didn't know. 
Right, that's what makes me 

269
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,320
think. 
Maybe he didn't, but he's like. 

270
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:12,000
So like, I could never. 
He's so homophobic, I can never 

271
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,160
see. 
Is he really? 

272
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,960
Oh yeah. 
Oh, then woo up the butt 

273
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,400
doesn't. 
Even track doesn't track. 

274
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,920
Like he was calling us my dad's 
nuts, but he was like calling us

275
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,960
the F word always as it was 
always just something we were 

276
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,360
throwing around. 
And it was just like constant. 

277
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,840
Oh my God. 
Yeah. 

278
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,240
And he's like. 
Is he still? 

279
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:36,200
You know, yeah, I think so. 
I was asked, like you, I'll 

280
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,120
often times I have a gay guest 
and I always ask like what was 

281
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,440
the vibe on the subject of gay 
in your house? 

282
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,200
But like, were your parents 
pretty? 

283
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:51,000
Like not into gay people? 
I actually still, I don't think 

284
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,680
my mom, my mom is seemingly 
indifferent, but my dad, like 

285
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,480
I'm pretty sure, yeah, he's like
what? 

286
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,520
He's Auntie Gay. 
He's Auntie. 

287
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:00,920
Yeah. 
I was like Andy, That's my 

288
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:01,960
grandpa's name. 
That's not my he's. 

289
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,480
Andy as he's. 
Andy, Andy Junior. 

290
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:11,000
He yeah, he it was always, I 
mean, also like in 2005, a lot 

291
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,080
of people were saying gay. 
Oh for sure. 

292
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,360
For like. 
I don't know if they were 

293
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,600
calling their kids the Efsler, 
no. 

294
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,720
I but no, I like I, I would be 
with my brother and I would 

295
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,320
like, I would want to go to 
another store to, to look at 

296
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,520
shoes and that was gay. 
That was like. 

297
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:30,520
Yeah, OK, listen, I called a lot
of things gay like, and I still 

298
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,880
do in a funny, funny way, but I 
know what you mean. 

299
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,840
Everything like dumb was gay or 
the R word. 

300
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:41,400
Or yeah, yeah, but yeah, I think
so. 

301
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:45,560
And then I, I, I actually when I
got into college, I. 

302
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,800
Congrats by the way. 
Thank you so much. 

303
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:54,920
I, I'd like to thank I, I, well,
I, I guess part of the, the 

304
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,920
sexual journey is I think I had 
a few years where I thought I 

305
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,760
was gay in, in like, in when 
like teens. 

306
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,760
OK, Yeah, The next question was 
going to be, do you remember 

307
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:06,040
your first orgasm? 
Yes, OK, we can start there, 

308
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,280
which was just. 
I'm excited and I won't forget 

309
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,080
that. 
OK, I'll. 

310
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,800
Come back to that thing later, 
OK, OK OK. 

311
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,600
But first orgasm was much later 
than most of my friends. 

312
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,080
I think I was like in like 10th 
grade maybe. 

313
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,040
Did people were people talking 
about it? 

314
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,960
Oh yeah. 
OK, like in middle school people

315
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,320
were talking about. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

316
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,760
And stuff. 
And I would just be like, yeah, 

317
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,160
totally. 
Were you a late bloomer or OK? 

318
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,760
Yeah, I think I I still can't 
grow a beard. 

319
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,040
Aww. 
But you have this I. 

320
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,560
Look, the tedious bit. 
Yeah, hold. 

321
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,000
On I mean it's, it looks, I mean
it's, it's like shaped, but it's

322
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,160
like there, that's. 
As much as it it like, it just 

323
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,160
becomes anyway. 
Whispers. 

324
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,240
It's whispers. 
Oh my gosh. 

325
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,640
Does your dad have a facial 
hair? 

326
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,360
Yeah, he has a whole beard. 
Bullshit. 

327
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,960
Maybe it'll come in. 
Yeah, I think so. 

328
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,400
I'm a lady bloomer. 
You're 31, Yeah. 31 It's coming.

329
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,680
You're a child. 
I still, I look in the mirror 

330
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,960
and I go, it's really coming. 
In I go, this is the year. 

331
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,800
OK. 
So you had your first in 10th 

332
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,120
grade. 
Do you remember like what the 

333
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,120
circumstances were or are you 
like, it's time? 

334
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,760
I think it was like it's time. 
I think I was like rubbing 

335
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,200
myself and I was like it. 
I remember, yeah, jerking off in

336
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,760
my bed at my I was like my, my 
dad moved in with my 

337
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,720
grandparents, so I was like at 
my grandparents house. 

338
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,560
Did your parents split up? 
Yeah, my parents were divorced 

339
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:28,280
and then my dad got like, 
removed from his apartment and 

340
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,920
went into rehab. 
Oh, OK. 

341
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,400
Yeah, he. 
Is he sober now? 

342
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,000
Yeah, he's sober now. 
Nice. 

343
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,320
Yeah, he was sober for 18 years.
Relapse somewhat recently. 

344
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,320
Oh my God. 
And yeah, the night of the Don't

345
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,880
Tell taping, which is kind of 
crazy, which was like. 

346
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,920
That's how bad yourself was, 
Yeah. 

347
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,280
Was he there? 
No, luckily I didn't even get to

348
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,600
see the text until the next 
morning. 

349
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,280
Thank God. 
Could you imagine you're getting

350
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,200
ready to go on stage for your 
taping? 

351
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,760
And Dad, We can't find Dad. 
That would have been, you know, 

352
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,760
what's crazy is during the set I
said because I was doing jokes 

353
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:57,920
about him and I knew he was 
going to see it. 

354
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,640
I never do this. 
I went my dad's 18 so but give 

355
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,640
it up for my dad and the whole 
crowd clapped for him and that 

356
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,840
night he was relapsing. 
Isn't that crazy? 

357
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,760
That's. 
It's crazy. 

358
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,520
I know it's really odd. 
I told him we were like in the 

359
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:15,360
hospital the next day. 
He was all fucked up and big 

360
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,040
laughed in the hospital room 
when I told that story. 

361
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:18,560
Oh, good. 
That's good. 

362
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:19,680
Yeah. 
Even from him. 

363
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,320
Yeah. 
OK, well he was still drunk so 

364
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,560
he thought it was funny. 
Wow, I really want to know more 

365
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,720
about that. 
But we that's your dad's story. 

366
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,440
And if I ever talked about in 
the pod. 

367
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:35,720
I'll ask him, but yeah. 
So in 8th grade he got like. 

368
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,560
Oh moved from his apartment. 
Physical when everybody shows 

369
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,480
up. 
Intervene. 

370
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,240
Intervene. 
Or like intervention, yeah. 

371
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,360
And then moved in with my 
grandparents and then, yeah, it 

372
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,640
was like. 
And so horny at your 

373
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,400
grandparents. 
House at my grandparents house 

374
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,120
like upstairs and there's like 2
twin beds in a room. 

375
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,560
My brother was somewhere else. 
And after that, that's like all 

376
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,280
I did on the computer. 
Yeah. 

377
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,760
I was, like, obsessed and like, 
there's my parents had to know 

378
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,480
that all of a sudden I was super
interested in the computer. 

379
00:17:05,599 --> 00:17:14,920
Like, also like, I I think that,
like, now it's pretty obvious 

380
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,000
that if you jerk off, you can, 
like, come into a rag or 

381
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:17,720
something. 
Yeah. 

382
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,599
But that took me a long time to 
figure out. 

383
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:21,920
So I would, like, run to the 
bathroom and come in the toilet.

384
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:22,960
In the toilet. 
Yeah. 

385
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,040
So that was another like high 
stakes thing of like every time 

386
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,319
I would have to like. 
Sprint down the hallway. 

387
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,640
Crazy. 
That's OK. 

388
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,440
I don't understand you. 
That's crazy. 

389
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,960
Yeah, Like, yeah. 
Because, like, the toilet paper 

390
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,600
exists. 
Tissues exist. 

391
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,920
Didn't even cross my mind. 
Wow, I'm done like that. 

392
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,880
Like, I got to get rid of the 
evidence. 

393
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,960
Wait, so then as you're nearing 
completion, you, like, hustle 

394
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,040
down the hall? 
That's dangerous alone. 

395
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,840
I know. 
What do you run into someone? 

396
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,240
It's ridiculous. 
It's in your hand, you. 

397
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,800
Know it's funny, I haven't 
thought about this until right 

398
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,640
now, but this is that that was a
thing. 

399
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,920
Maybe I'll do a joke about. 
It I love it. 

400
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,040
It's crazy. 
It's one of the funnier things 

401
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:03,440
I've heard on this hot. 
It's nuts, but it OK, but it 

402
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,400
obviously at some point you 
realize like, oh, I can come 

403
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,000
into something. 
I think it's 'cause that first 

404
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,320
time it was so surprising and I 
made such a big mess, so unhappy

405
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,520
with the mess. 
I was like, never again. 

406
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,240
That goes. 
It's like pee, it goes in the 

407
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,320
toilet. 
Wow. 

408
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,840
OK, OK. 
Do you remember your first 

409
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,320
sexual experience with another 
person? 

410
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,120
Yeah, I have a bunch of weird 
stories. 

411
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,840
I. 
Whatever you feel comfortable, 

412
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,600
you know what I mean. 
I don't want you to like. 

413
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,000
No, I don't. 
OK, OK. 

414
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:34,200
OK, OK, OK. 
How should I tell this in a way 

415
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:39,240
that the cops don't? 
One time, this is the first time

416
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:43,080
somebody else saw my penis, 
which was I was like, you know 

417
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,840
how I don't know if you were 
like this, but in, in high 

418
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,600
school, it was like we had like 
a friend group and there were 

419
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,920
like 4 boys and four girls and 
there was like best friends. 

420
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,920
But also, sometimes people would
date and sometimes you'd have a 

421
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,640
crush on one of them. 
Like Dawson's Creek? 

422
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,640
Yeah. 
AW, we were like all at a house 

423
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,160
one time. 
Parents were gone, we were all 

424
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:03,520
drunk and two of them decided 
that they wanted to suck my Dick

425
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,840
together. 
Girls girls and I did not want 

426
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:08,840
to. 
I was like scared. 

427
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,560
So I said no for a solid hour 
and like one of them was like 

428
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,520
way more drunk than the other 
one. 

429
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,400
And then finally I said yes. 
And it it probably lasted like 

430
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,640
20 seconds. 
I didn't even come. 

431
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,320
It was just like they just kind 
of like, well, that was crazy. 

432
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,040
I think they just wanted to have
the moment of like this is so 

433
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,920
crazy. 
But then like one of them was 

434
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,280
the person my friend was dating.
It caused so much drama. 

435
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,880
And then also people were like, 
you know, she was really drunk 

436
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,440
when she did that. 
I was like, I don't even want 

437
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,760
to. 
I said no, I got. 

438
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,760
I got falafel. 
What about her, my friend? 

439
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,400
Who was sober with her? 
What about? 

440
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,840
Her This was part of your core 
friend group. 

441
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,040
Yeah, crazy. 
Isn't that crazy? 

442
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,840
Crazy. 
Crazy, crazy. 

443
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,160
So that was the first. 
I was like that, 'cause I, I 

444
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,840
don't know if every, I don't 
think those guys are like this, 

445
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,720
but I was very nervous to show 
anybody my Dick. 

446
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:56,120
Yes, guys are like. 
OK, but but the the common idea 

447
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,760
is that people whip it out. 
Well, yeah, but like, like you 

448
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:05,400
said, like a you weren't like 
asking, you weren't asking to do

449
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,040
that in any way. 
So immediately. 

450
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:12,240
You're on the wrong side of the 
Yeah, if you like if could you 

451
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,600
imagine if two guys like we want
to eat you out to a girl and she

452
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,120
was like, no, thanks. 
And you're like, come on. 

453
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,520
And she like takes her pants. 
You don't even like. 

454
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,440
It's. 
All kind of like yucky, I mean, 

455
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,600
but obviously teenagers, 
obviously friend groups, 

456
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,560
obviously drunk, you know, and 
you, you. 

457
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,800
Fine line. 
I was like, uncomfortable. 

458
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,320
Yeah. 
But no, they yeah, that's not 

459
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,560
cool that that happened. 
Do you true OK, we and then. 

460
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,880
But the funny part is like after
like a week later, I could tell 

461
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,600
somebody the story, 'cause I'm 
16, I'd be like, yeah, that 

462
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,400
happened. 
All of a sudden I'm like bad 

463
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,040
ass. 
Even though you know 'cause in 

464
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,800
hindsight it sounds cool. 2 
girls want to suck your Dick? 

465
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,360
Yeah. 
Yes, and, but at the time it 

466
00:20:56,360 --> 00:21:00,560
wasn't that cool. 
Did it get easier then to show 

467
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,560
people? 
OK, so then this is the this is 

468
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,800
the first time that I tried to 
have sex, which was that it was 

469
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,520
at a party. 
We left the party and went into 

470
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,080
a car. 
I was on mushrooms. 

471
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:17,120
She didn't know that. 
And we were in the car and I 

472
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,840
think I was 16 and going to get 
it up. 

473
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,680
Well, mushrooms are famously not
a very horny yeah, especially if

474
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,560
you do a full dose. 
I know her and I are are still 

475
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,440
friends and I told her that 
years later and she was just 

476
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,480
like why don't you tell me? 
And I was like, I don't know. 

477
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,200
No. 
Have you been on shrooms? 

478
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,520
It's not exactly a logic. 
There's a lot of. 

479
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,240
New stuff happening at that it 
wasn't. 

480
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,920
Like in a normal position, can I
ask had was that you skipping 

481
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:47,040
hand and mouth stuff and going 
straight to sex or like you were

482
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,840
trying to like fool around? 
Yeah, that was skipping, I 

483
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,600
think, except for that first 
thing that wasn't that, yeah. 

484
00:21:54,680 --> 00:22:01,080
Was having sex like a big 
motivator for you when you were 

485
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,120
like that age? 
Like, did you want to have sex 

486
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:07,200
or were you just kind of like 
fumbling through it? 

487
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,320
Oh, I think I did want to have. 
Yeah, I definitely wanted to 

488
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,680
have sex. 
All my friends like had. 

489
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,040
It was like a lot of like. 
Keeping up with the Jones. 

490
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:22,680
Yeah, but I was always like arid
on this side of like being 

491
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,640
nervous. 
So it it like. 

492
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,320
And are we at the place where 
you think you might be gay? 

493
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:32,280
Right, so I and that's like, so 
when you're 16 and you can't get

494
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,360
it out the shrooms of it all 
wasn't even really in my head. 

495
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,240
I was like, that means I'm gay. 
Totally can't get a boner. 

496
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,320
And then I it happened again 
where like maybe a year later, 

497
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,520
hooked up with somebody didn't 
get a boner. 

498
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:48,280
Yeah, that means I'm gay, which 
is like it's like a, it's like a

499
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,840
it's a good like boiling down of
like what this 17 year old boy 

500
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,760
thinks of his gay, which is like
can't fuck girl crazy equals 

501
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,160
gay. 
Flawless logic. 

502
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,240
No. 
No. 

503
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,400
I swear it wasn't until like 
another year later where I 

504
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,160
realized like gay means 
attracted to men. 

505
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,840
Men, Yeah. 
Like specific. 

506
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,040
Performance anxiety perhaps, 
right? 

507
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:10,760
Also like what were you 
attracted to? 

508
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,280
Like jerking off to? 
Like was it 2 dudes rimming each

509
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,240
other or was it? 
Another obvious like giveaway 

510
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,080
wasn't. 
And were you like lusting after 

511
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,240
your guy friends or you know 
what I mean, like. 

512
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,720
Yeah, no, I, I don't know, it's 
just shit. 

513
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:30,320
Fuck, I'm gay. 
But this is another weird thing 

514
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:35,080
that is embarrassing, which is 
that I was homophobic growing up

515
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:39,000
in that environment in LA and 
going through that like 2 years 

516
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,480
of thinking I was gay. 
I think rid that, rid it of me 

517
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,720
because I was like, wait, that's
me. 

518
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:47,560
And I can't be mean to me. 
It's so sympathetic for like, 

519
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,120
isn't that like? 
May may every straight guy be 

520
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:53,200
blessed with two years of 
thinking he might be gay. 

521
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,720
Like wait wait wait. 
It's actually not cool to bully 

522
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,960
based on this. 
You guys, you guys think easy. 

523
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,280
I think that might hurt his 
feeling. 

524
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,400
I know which sounds gay, but 
stay with me. 

525
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:12,000
Stay with me. 
But wow, yeah, I think I think a

526
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,520
lot of people would like lose 
their virginity to a girlfriend 

527
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,760
where there's like safe 
conditions and there's like 

528
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:23,480
you're comfortable but my first 
like 4 times probably having sex

529
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,600
were like drunk and like at a 
party or something. 

530
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,880
And with classmates or with 
people from different schools 

531
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,720
or. 
Yeah, probably people from my 

532
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,160
school. 
Yeah, actually that first person

533
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,200
was from a different school, but
yeah. 

534
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:43,560
And then like into college and I
like am now in a eight-year 

535
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,120
relationship. 
And before this relationship I 

536
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:48,320
was still just kind of, I would 
like to date somebody for like a

537
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,200
month. 
Yeah, but that's me. 

538
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:56,000
I would still like, I never had 
the like space to like 

539
00:24:56,200 --> 00:25:00,600
understand what being like. 
I'm not good at sex now, but at 

540
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,760
the time I was bad, you know 
what I mean? 

541
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,040
Not saying you're not good at 
sex. 

542
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,800
Yeah. 
But like, I don't know, it's 

543
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:12,600
like I, I never had that like. 
You didn't have like consistency

544
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,360
to like. 
No communication even a little 

545
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,520
bit sure of like it was just 
yeah. 

546
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,720
Was it a lot of drunk hookups? 
So like, you'd go out with 

547
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,480
friends? 
A party. 

548
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,400
And with the goal of meeting a 
girl? 

549
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,680
Yeah, and with the goal of just 
hooking up or dating. 

550
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,560
Like I'm going to meet a cool 
girl tonight and. 

551
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,680
See what's there. 
I think that's was probably 

552
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,160
somewhere was part of the goal. 
But also, yeah, just trying to 

553
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,680
like hook up I think. 
Sure, that's a very part of 20s.

554
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,640
Culture. 
Yeah, yeah. 

555
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,520
And like, I even like it would. 
I would have crushes on people 

556
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,360
for like, forever and then 
never, like, work up the courage

557
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:57,640
to, like, make a move. 
Like. 

558
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:58,480
So. 
Yeah. 

559
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,320
So then like, I think I needed 
in my mind to get really drunk 

560
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:08,640
in order to, like, have the 
courage to which I think, like, 

561
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,920
around age like 23, I realized 
you could just be like, hey, can

562
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,520
I kiss you? 
Which some people think is lame,

563
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,360
but it after that I was kind of 
off to the races. 

564
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,040
Oh, I can just ask. 
Yeah, easy now. 

565
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,040
And if they say no, it's OK. 
Yeah, exactly. 

566
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:28,360
Wait, that's, that's very cute. 
First of all, can I kiss you? 

567
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:34,120
Yeah, 'cause in movies it's like
people say, like the cool line 

568
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:37,080
that the writer wrote. 
Yeah, like sparkles, like your 

569
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,920
eyes, and then that's the cue to
lean in. 

570
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,720
But I never say cool stuff, so I
never have the moment. 

571
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:46,000
Most people don't and I would 
argue a guy saying I love the 

572
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,840
sparkle in your eyes. 
I'm like, get away from me. 

573
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,200
I'd much rather a guy come up 
knowing that we've been eyeing 

574
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,440
each other and me like I really 
want to kiss you. 

575
00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:00,800
Done, done. 
But like obviously it's like 

576
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,080
that. 
You have to really be able to 

577
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,560
read people, I think. 
And like, obviously it's better 

578
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,600
asked these days, especially 
consent over like be cringy and 

579
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,880
ask for consent rather than 
'cause I know I've heard, I've 

580
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,240
heard girls and guys be like, 
oh, and then he asked if he 

581
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,800
could kiss me. 
He's like, just kiss me. 

582
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,760
It's like, well, in a different 
universe, though, you end his 

583
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:25,160
life like moments later. 
So yeah. 

584
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,640
Yeah, that that like the the 
idea of leaning in and then like

585
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,920
pulling back is like, but for 
some reason asking and I'm 

586
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,560
saying, no, you you could be 
like. 

587
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:40,240
I was kidding, ugly. 
I'm gay. 

588
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:47,360
That 'd actually be really funny
if straight guys said, I'm just 

589
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,400
kidding, I'm gay when they 
didn't want to kiss them. 

590
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,760
Because then, like, honestly, a 
friendship might start, Yeah, 

591
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,400
between the girl and the guy, 
and then you'd. 

592
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,000
Be gay for five years being 
their friend. 

593
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,880
Yes. 
And then you trick them. 

594
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,560
Yeah. 
And then she's like, I wish you 

595
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,000
weren't gay. 
And you're like, well, do I have

596
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,520
news for you? 
Playing the long game. 

597
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:09,840
Wait, OK, so you're in your 20s,
you're kind of hooking up, and 

598
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:18,480
then at 25, No 23, you meet the 
eight-year relationship person. 

599
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,600
Yeah, I guess that was at 23, 
which, and it's somebody who I 

600
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,720
was getting drunk and hooking up
with in college. 

601
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,400
Really. 
Yeah, we met like freshman year 

602
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,080
of college. 
Wow, which? 

603
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,320
Is crazy. 
And then yeah, we would get 

604
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,720
drunk and hook up never with the
next like never talk about 

605
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,800
anything. 
And I really had feelings for 

606
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,840
her. 
And then at the end of like, 

607
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,200
sophomore year, I told her that 
I liked her. 

608
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,800
And she said she just wanted to 
be friends. 

609
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:44,400
And then she went to Costa Rica 
for a year and then she came 

610
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,840
back. 
And then I was like, it was 

611
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,040
awkward. 
I didn't really want to like, 

612
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:48,120
push it. 
I was like. 

613
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,120
Oh yeah, yeah, you've been shot 
down. 

614
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,880
Yeah, and then a year later, she
came back into the Bay Area and 

615
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:58,560
it was, like, rekindled. 
Wow, like unspoken like you kind

616
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,680
of just like started hanging out
again We. 

617
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,400
Hung out a couple times and then
like we I actually told the 

618
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,040
story in front of her recently 
and she she pushed back a lot on

619
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,200
different elements of it. 
But I'm like I've been telling 

620
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,160
the story a long time and which 
maybe is makes it have lies in 

621
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,160
it, but. 
It definitely becomes the truth,

622
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,920
Like the more you say it, you're
like, that is what happened. 

623
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,520
Yeah, I remember because I said 
this last week. 

624
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,120
But yeah, we were, we were like 
at her friend's house that all 

625
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,040
of her friends were supposed to 
come back from a bar, but then 

626
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,280
they just kind of never came. 
And we was just, I was drinking 

627
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,680
wine. 
And then she was like, you know,

628
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,160
I never really stopped liking 
you. 

629
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:38,560
And I was like, I spent a lot of
time trying to get over her and 

630
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,280
trying to not like, push it and 
be respectful. 

631
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,200
So I was kind of a Dick. 
And I was like, Oh yeah, what 

632
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,640
are we going to do? 
Make out now? 

633
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,800
I was like, mean. 
And she went, I don't know, 

634
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,600
maybe. 
And I was like, what? 

635
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,360
What? 
Are you? 

636
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,680
Talking about it was a real like
what the fuck? 

637
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,760
That's kind of shitty. 
Well, unless this is the part 

638
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,320
she pushed back on where it's 
like she put you in the friend 

639
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,880
zone and then like this night 
she's like I never stopped 

640
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,160
liking you. 
So this is this is where the 

641
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:06,600
miscommunication happened, which
is that, you know, we're in an 

642
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:11,760
open relationship now. 
She thought that that first time

643
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,000
I told her I had feelings for 
her that I was asking her to 

644
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,400
like to be my girlfriend and 
maybe I said something like 

645
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,840
that. 
I don't think so though and she 

646
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,840
didn't want to be in like a 
monogamous relationship. 

647
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,760
OK. 
And I guess just assume that I 

648
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,920
wouldn't be down for what we 
have now. 

649
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,800
My communication is key. 
Obviously a lot of assumptions 

650
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,240
going on. 
Totally. 

651
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,520
That's like all the way up until
like a few years ago, all 

652
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:40,520
assumptions, not talking about 
anything, but but yeah, that 

653
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:41,520
that's what she would say to 
that. 

654
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,960
And part of me is like. 
Is that true? 

655
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,960
Yeah. 
I mean, there's no way to prove.

656
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,400
That right? 
Are you all both in LA? 

657
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,200
Do you live together? 
Yeah. 

658
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,560
Wow. 
Yeah, so we lived in the Bay 

659
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,480
Area for six years. 
Is that where you started 

660
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,680
comedy? 
Yeah, in Santa Cruz. 

661
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,280
I went to UC Santa Cruz, Santa 
Cruz in the Bay, and then I 

662
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,880
would see you at the punch line.
You would come to the punch line

663
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,080
sometime to do the Sunday 
showcase. 

664
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,120
And that's the first time I saw 
you. 

665
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,440
Very funny. 
Crazy. 

666
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:12,040
And then moved to LA couple 
years ago she spent a year in 

667
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,600
LA, wasn't really feeling it. 
So last year she was like long 

668
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,760
distance kind of with her 
hometown at by Tahoe. 

669
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,840
And now this year she's like 
recommitting to it and making a 

670
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:19,800
bunch of friends. 
Oh good. 

671
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,360
And now she's in Sedona with her
new friends. 

672
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:22,520
Oh my God. 
Pretty cool. 

673
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,800
Is she a comedian? 
No. 

674
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,000
OK, thank God. 
Yeah, I know. 

675
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:31,440
Can you, without telling her 
story or like airing her stuff, 

676
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:37,680
can you talk to us a little bit 
about what being in an Oprah 

677
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,720
relationship is like? 
I'm glad you said that. 

678
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,120
That's like a good reminder to 
like that she's a big part of 

679
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:48,560
this. 
Yeah, cuz there's this whole 

680
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,080
thing too. 
It's like, well, she's not here 

681
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:54,240
to like, be like, yeah, that's 
cool, or don't talk about that. 

682
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,280
Also I think I'm so used to 
stand up where you can kind of 

683
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,920
get away with something in the 
room cuz it's like you just. 

684
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,240
Isolate it over, Yeah. 
You know. 

685
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,840
I'm not taping it. 
Yeah, like you tape it. 

686
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,720
That's on you. 
Yeah. 

687
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:13,920
Sure. 
We I think, wait, I'm sorry, 

688
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,160
your question was just like, 
how, how? 

689
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,360
Oh yeah, yeah. 
Like what's like, I guess like 

690
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:22,440
have you always been open to an 
open relationship or are you 

691
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,920
like more monogamy and you're 
doing it for this partner or 

692
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:31,200
like pitfalls or good aspects? 
I, I think that all, both of us 

693
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:36,200
were always open to it. 
And I think that there's like a 

694
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:40,880
part of, you know, OK, so I used
to be really on my high horse 

695
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,320
about being against monogamy. 
Like I read that book The 

696
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,440
Ethical Slut and like. 
The sitting there half red. 

697
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,240
I would try to like. 
I read parts of it. 

698
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,560
I read the show. 
I, I would like, try to like 

699
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,160
convince my friends and like a 
friend of mine would be like 

700
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,560
jealous. 
And I tried to be like, you 

701
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,640
know, actually that's like, not 
very, you know, and I try to 

702
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,960
like win the argument the most 
annoying person possible. 

703
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,080
But now I, I, I think I'm just 
recognizing we're all different.

704
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,800
And whatever part of your brain 
that is that makes you jealous, 

705
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,400
I just don't have that. 
I don't know why. 

706
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:09,640
It's not 'cause I've done 
anything. 

707
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,440
It's not 'cause I'm like, read 
the book. 

708
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:15,920
A lot of people read the book. 
But yeah, so we were always, I 

709
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,920
think we just talked about it 
before we started dating that we

710
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,360
were both into that. 
And then both of us, yeah, 

711
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,000
don't, I don't know. 
There's a lot of tenants to it 

712
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,400
that we both agree on. 
One is like if one of us was to 

713
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:29,880
meet someone we like more, we 
should go be with them. 

714
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,880
Really. 
Yeah, because like. 

715
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,720
Wow, that's really emotionally 
mature. 

716
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:40,160
It's so interesting because I 
think that's how everyone is, 

717
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,960
but you'd be hard pressed to 
find people admitting it. 

718
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:46,360
Yeah. 
Do you know what I mean? 

719
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:53,560
Yeah, because obviously if the 
person I like is happier with 

720
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:57,720
someone else, I can't hold them.
Yeah. 

721
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,280
And that's like, in theory, 
that's what marriage is, is 

722
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,400
like, you promise that you're 
going to ignore that. 

723
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,400
The older I get, the more I'm 
like, marriage sounds childish. 

724
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:09,840
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

725
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,560
Like forever. 
No matter what. 

726
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,520
It's like what? 
Yeah, no matter what. 

727
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,400
No, I can, I can list like 40 
things. 

728
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,560
And if you do, yeah, I'm out. 
Right. 

729
00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:22,480
So like, what are we talking 
about? 

730
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,480
Yeah, and also divorce. 
Yes, it's totally a thing. 

731
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,560
I actually think, and I used to 
joke about this, that marriage 

732
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,600
licenses should expire and you 
have to like re up. 

733
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,000
That's good. 
So like every three years you 

734
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,120
have to go somewhere and be 
like, yeah, we wanna renew. 

735
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,639
Yeah, like a lease. 
But if you don't, yeah, if one 

736
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:43,880
of you is like, I think we 
should be done after this next 

737
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,440
renewal. 
Yeah, that's why people break up

738
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,000
on the the on the year of the 
lease because it's like that's 

739
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,920
the time when they can like get 
out, yeah. 

740
00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:55,719
I've broken up with someone on 
Valentine's Day, but only in a 

741
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,800
reflective way where I'm like, I
don't love them. 

742
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,760
That happens though, because 
it's like people, that's a 

743
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,000
common thing of like breakups on
Christmas and birthdays and it's

744
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,240
like, oh, that person's fucked 
up, but it's like, no, that's 

745
00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:06,840
the day where it's like make or 
break. 

746
00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:08,680
You can't fake it on that. 
Day, right? 

747
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,920
You're reflecting and you're 
like, no, I don't, I don't want 

748
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,160
to wake up with them. 
Right. 

749
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,800
So you don't have a? 
You've never been? 

750
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,520
Yeah. 
You're just chill about it. 

751
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,760
I like it. 
It's not that I've never been 

752
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:25,840
jealous because like, like I was
saying earlier, I was like in, 

753
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,040
in like middle school and stuff.
I was like had a crush on my 

754
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,920
friend's girlfriend, you know, 
and like I would like, I would 

755
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:37,360
be very like unrequited love and
it would like pain me, but like 

756
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,520
I, yeah, I don't, I don't know. 
There's like a trust there that 

757
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:49,920
we have that I like she has been
with guys and like her, her 

758
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,560
style was that she would kind of
date people for a while. 

759
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,680
And we neither of us have done, 
have like utilized this part in 

760
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,240
the relationship. 
And it's all like 5 years. 

761
00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,640
So that's worth saying. 
But it's still like active and 

762
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,280
we'll we'll check in about it. 
Oh, neither of you are 

763
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:07,120
practicing correct ethical non 
monogamy right now. 

764
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,360
Right. 
But but like on paper, it still 

765
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,080
is. 
Like bisexual in theory. 

766
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,720
Right. 
Yeah. 

767
00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:19,560
But like, I like if like I we're
both allowed to hook up with 

768
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:20,120
people. 
Yeah. 

769
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,520
It's just doesn't. 
I don't think either of us 

770
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,680
really want that. 
And actually just recent, well, 

771
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,080
maybe this is the thing. 
I shouldn't say on her back, but

772
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,040
yeah. 
You ultimately know her 

773
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,240
obviously better than I do, and 
it's a gift, something that, 

774
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,160
yeah, but we can steer clear of 
it. 

775
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:43,680
Yeah, but like, okay, there's 
elements of monogamy as like 

776
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,640
traditional relationships that 
annoy us both. 

777
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:51,240
We both really dislike couples 
that are two couply who like 

778
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,320
move as one person. 
Oh my God, Like who? 

779
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,760
Like you go. 
Can you sing out Tuesday? 

780
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,920
Like I guess let me see what 
Brad's doing. 

781
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,400
Oh my God. 
Or like or like if. 

782
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,920
You're making dinner plans and 
they like team up and they like 

783
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,120
skew the odds on where they want
to go and stuff like that. 

784
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,800
There's so many little ways that
it like they just always support

785
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,240
each other and it's annoying. 
It's like a 2 headed dragon and 

786
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:11,560
you and then with me, I'm always
trying to get between them. 

787
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,120
I'm always trying to put them 
against each other and like. 

788
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,720
That's crazy. 
I know. 

789
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:22,160
I will say though also if they 
do that and they in any way sour

790
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,440
the evening with some bickering 
or somewhere, I'm pissed. 

791
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,040
Totally. 
Because not only did you get 

792
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,920
your way, but now you're you're 
killing the vibe. 

793
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,720
Yeah, yeah, I'm mad. 
I'll deal with your shit. 

794
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,520
I like when couples, like, have 
to sit next to each other at 

795
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:38,840
dinner. 
It's like, one thing if you 

796
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,040
don't know anybody, but like, I 
don't know. 

797
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,720
But like, I think both of us 
like are like the idea of 

798
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:48,760
walking into a party and like. 
Separate in separate ways, 

799
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,640
checking in, texting, Yeah, and 
like, I'll see you later, 

800
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,280
obviously. 
Yeah. 

801
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,120
You're fiercely, like, 
independent. 

802
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:01,200
Yes, I think so. 
That's great because I also, 

803
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,880
I've dated guys that were like, 
they needed some hand holding, 

804
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,440
which I'm not ruthless. 
Like, I'm not like heartless, 

805
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,080
but like, we're comedians. 
We hang out with comedians. 

806
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:13,360
Like it's fucking dangerous to 
jump into a conversation with a 

807
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,440
group of comedians. 
Like, yes, you get fucking 

808
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:19,720
knocked upside the head and with
a hand holder. 

809
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,520
Oh my God. 
Yeah, you tell him about. 

810
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,080
Oh, you mean a liberal hand 
holder? 

811
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,880
I mean, just like, no, I meant, 
like, metaphorically too well. 

812
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,040
Oh, when they can't, like, stop 
touching each other, I'm like, 

813
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,400
yeah, you don't you just at 
home? 

814
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,680
Aren't you on? 
Are you on the couch touching 

815
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,600
all the time like. 
But you're right as far as like.

816
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,440
Yeah, it's just like I can't, 
like I really can't facilitate 

817
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,600
your social life. 
I don't. 

818
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,360
Know yeah, that could be 
stressful. 

819
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:53,840
I I learned so much about a 
comedian, especially guy 

820
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,480
friends, like watching them 
interact with Julia. 

821
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,880
I'm like there's whole sides of 
my friends. 

822
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,880
I I don't know I don't know how 
they treat women, you know sure.

823
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,000
And then all of a sudden they 
they like don't make eye contact

824
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,840
they don't ask her any questions
and I'm like oh, you're a little

825
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:07,560
bit of a weirdo. 
Totally. 

826
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,760
Yeah, you're a little. 
You got some Intel vibes or 

827
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,360
whatever. 
Means are, yeah, I mean, deeply 

828
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:17,000
insecure, very cerebral 
depressed. 

829
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,200
It's. 
Not a comic store like that. 

830
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:24,920
Yeah. 
So eight years in this 

831
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:30,920
relationship, 5 the past five 
have been unlike, not 

832
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,360
monogamous, but like not 
practicing, not monogamy. 

833
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:43,920
Do you, at what point, I guess, 
do you plan to like encounter 

834
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,920
other people or is it just like,
it happens to be that you 2 are 

835
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,680
both very like just satisfied 
with where you're at? 

836
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:56,720
That's a good question. 
I so back when we were more 

837
00:39:56,720 --> 00:40:02,400
active with it, I think, let's 
see. 

838
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,720
I think on my side, it was like 
a combination of people that I 

839
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:08,080
was kind of seeing before, on 
and off. 

840
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:09,960
Sure. 
We're still a little bit like. 

841
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,320
On the roster. 
Yeah. 

842
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:16,080
And then it was see them 
sometimes it would with the and 

843
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,800
then in addition to that, just 
like random hookups, places of 

844
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,800
like especially travelling. 
Oh my God, but did you hook up 

845
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,520
after shows? 
Yeah, well, only kind of once. 

846
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,240
You want to hear my 1 crazy? 
Story yes Oh my God, I was going

847
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:32,800
to ask we can actually 
transition into like any career 

848
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,680
highlights or low lights with 
your sex. 

849
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:38,480
Life really OK this is OK. 
I don't you could judge what 

850
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,080
this is OK, but OK. 
One time in in Portland I did a 

851
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,320
show. 
Good comedy city. 

852
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,040
Yeah, I love Portland so much. 
This was years ago. 

853
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,560
I did a show at, like, a sex 
club. 

854
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,920
Cool. 
And there was like, people in 

855
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,240
the front row, like getting all 
like, handsy, feely and stuff 

856
00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:59,000
and like with each other. 
And there was another comic on 

857
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,920
the show. 
She totally wouldn't mind if I 

858
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,280
said her name, but I probably 
shouldn't just in. 

859
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:04,520
Case she yeah, that's OK, yeah, 
yeah. 

860
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:12,320
Yeah, but there's another comic 
on the show that we what 

861
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,600
happened? 
We we did the show. 

862
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,480
It was weird when I saw her at 
another show, at that other 

863
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:20,200
show, she showed me Adm from 
somebody in the crowd who wanted

864
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,640
to hook up with her, a guy, a 
girl. 

865
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:27,240
And she was showing me like, oh,
isn't that she wants to see hang

866
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:28,920
out tomorrow? 
And I was like, oh, that is 

867
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,000
crazy. 
And then like an hour goes by 

868
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,720
and I'm at home and I get the 
same DM from the same girl. 

869
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:38,160
And so I I DM this the comedian 
and I go, she sent it to me too.

870
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:42,440
And she's like, oh, yeah. 
And they said it like, sell his 

871
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:47,480
Ray Bans had a really good deal.
Yeah. 

872
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,360
So we, like, made plans to go 
see her the next day. 

873
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:54,920
And she was like in town with 
like sports team, intramural 

874
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,600
sports. 
She was with like 10 friends in 

875
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,880
town, like staying in an Airbnb.
We she took us on this pub 

876
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,280
crawl. 
So it was like me, this other 

877
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,840
comedian, and then this girl who
invited us and then a bunch of 

878
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,680
her friends on this pub crawl. 
Were they cool? 

879
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,640
The friends or. 
Were they like, who are these 

880
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,880
randos? 
They they, no, they were cool. 

881
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,520
They were like they kind of had 
a feel. 

882
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:15,680
I think some of them are at the 
show. 

883
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:21,120
OK, OK, so then we're like, you 
know, the, the, the, the pub 

884
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,520
crawls go and we're having more 
drinks. 

885
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,840
Me and the other comedian are 
kind of flirting at this point. 

886
00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:29,640
And then finally the the person 
who organized this turned to us 

887
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,280
and was like, here's what's 
going to happen tonight. 

888
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,440
We're all going to come back to 
my place and we're all going to 

889
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,600
have sex. 
Not like the friends, just the 

890
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:43,680
three for the listeners. 
Zach had his arms out like as 

891
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,120
though there were 10 disciples 
behind it. 

892
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:52,560
We're all going to have sex. 
So yeah, we had like more shows 

893
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,480
we were doing. 
It was like a Late Show until 

894
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,680
10. 
So by the time we got to her 

895
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,360
place, it was like really late. 
And then we were kind of making 

896
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:03,840
this plan and she kind of like 
told her like the other people 

897
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,320
just go to their rooms or 
something. 

898
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,560
And I guess they did, because we
were like in the living room. 

899
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,320
Fooling around the living room. 
Yeah. 

900
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:16,280
And right as right as they were 
going upstairs, one of the one 

901
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,000
of the friends was like, can I 
join? 

902
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,160
And it was kind of awkward. 
And we were like, like. 

903
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,320
No like. 
Not really somebody we would 

904
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:27,880
have like. 
Damn, but we can I kiss you? 

905
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,560
Yeah. 
Yeah, I know it got brought back

906
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,000
on me. 
We were it was kind of awkward 

907
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,920
and we were like, yeah, sure. 
And so it's the four of us then.

908
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,880
And I think we were like playing
spin the bottle just to like 

909
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,840
kind of listen to get things 
going. 

910
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:44,040
And then, you know, we it was 
like the the memory is foggy 

911
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,320
because we were drinking a lot, 
but we all had sex and one 

912
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,800
penis, 4 vaginas. 
One penis, 4 vaginas, 3 vaginas.

913
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,360
Sorry, OK, But this is this is 
my theory that I came out of 

914
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,800
this with is that I believe 
group sex is exclusively for 

915
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,720
queer people. 
I think it doesn't work it 

916
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,760
straight because I'll tell you 
why, because because I think 

917
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,440
this is my theory is that the 
the majority has to be queer or 

918
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:13,480
else it doesn't work because one
of them, the girl that has to 

919
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,560
join was straight and like it's 
like hardcore about it and she 

920
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,200
wasn't down to like she's. 
Like no, you dike touched me. 

921
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,680
Yeah. 
So she was like, kind of like 

922
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,160
Drew, like drew a wedge in the 
whole thing because like, she 

923
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,480
was like wanting a lot of 
attention out of me. 

924
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,840
But she's not compatible with 
anything else. 

925
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:33,920
She's like, I'm not going to 
kiss them. 

926
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:34,640
I'm not going to. 
Why would I? 

927
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:35,640
I'm not going to do anything. 
It was. 

928
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:41,560
A pillow wall up. 
Yeah, So then it was like this 

929
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,800
weird, like Curb Your Enthusiasm
moment of like, can you Can you 

930
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,160
believe her? 
And it was like, I'm like 

931
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:47,400
kissing her. 
I don't want to be. 

932
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:48,520
I like. 
What? 

933
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,480
And then you're being like a 
gentleman. 

934
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,360
Yeah, I'm trying to be nice, 
girl. 

935
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,360
Right, So that was happening and
then and then we had to have 

936
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,120
like I kind of had, I can't 
remember how it happened, but me

937
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,880
and the other two original core 
team, we had a little moment 

938
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,040
where we're like we have to kick
her out it. 

939
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,160
Was core team. 
And we had to. 

940
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,800
Kick her out, you have a group 
drag growing on the side. 

941
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,320
Yeah, 'cause it it was, it was 
too weird. 

942
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,720
And I Yeah. 
And did you successfully kick 

943
00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:17,480
her out? 
Yeah. 

944
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,040
We we told her she had to go 
upstairs. 

945
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,160
They're like you're not getting 
up for. 

946
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,840
This Yeah, She went upstairs. 
And the other two were, oh, 

947
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,800
obviously, like ambidextrous. 
Yes, both hands. 

948
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,600
Wow. 
Both hands. 

949
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,640
And then was the threesomes. 
Wait threesomes are OK? 

950
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:38,640
Or is threesome group? 
OK so this is the thing, 

951
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:42,840
threesomes are OK if the 2 girls
are bi which I would say tips 

952
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,920
the scales into overwhelming 
like mostly queer we have. 2/3. 

953
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:52,080
Right Queer. 
It just blew my mind. 

954
00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:58,640
Yeah, I will say I think the the
highest tier of group sex is 

955
00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:01,480
unlimited gay dudes. 
Like that's where it's at, 

956
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,200
right? 
Because we're, we're also these 

957
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:09,400
dudes and they feel like, it's 
like it's like universal donor. 

958
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,920
Vibes. 
Do you know that John Early joke

959
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:17,080
where it's about like it's about
anal and he goes, sometimes I 

960
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:18,800
stop and I go, wait, this is 
perfect. 

961
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,520
He's so funny. 
Wait, this is perfect. 

962
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,040
This is. 
I can't believe it. 

963
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,320
Because Yeah, yeah, two straight
guys, one girl. 

964
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:36,840
The guys are kind of being 
weird. 

965
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,840
Also the. 
Girls like but at but at at the 

966
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,880
same time there is like a for 
like super masculine guys. 

967
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,280
There's like this weird thing 
that happens where they can like

968
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,920
have sex with the same girl and 
be all like comfortable. 

969
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,960
Cool about it. 
Straight yeah, the. 

970
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,040
I don't know how that that 
works. 

971
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,120
Like they high 5 and stuff. 
To me, that's that's gay. 

972
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:04,920
Well, that's interesting. 
That's that's like don't want to

973
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:09,640
use the word brotherly, but it's
like it is as close as they'll 

974
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:16,040
get to like a tender like male, 
like bond I. 

975
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,080
Support it. 
I just I the only my only 

976
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,520
observation is that it's weird 
that that tends to happen with 

977
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,040
the like super mask. 
Of course that like that's that 

978
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:29,040
like weird horseshoe thing. 
The Super mask guys are so close

979
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:32,520
to being super gay. 
Yeah, it's crazy because they 

980
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:36,080
talk about girls like they're 
kind of like an accessory or 

981
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:40,000
like they talk down to them and 
like, men are the like, I'm 

982
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,760
like, you're so close to being 
an alpha gay couple. 

983
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,600
And their favorite girls are the
girliest ones, Yeah, who, like, 

984
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,920
wear makeup and all this stuff. 
That's their favorite type. 

985
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,320
Totally. 
The most like ritzy. 

986
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:53,600
They. 
Love little bags? 

987
00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,520
OK, so the last part of the pot 
actually let's play a quick 

988
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,240
round of hot or not. 
This is where I just list things

989
00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:04,800
and you tell me if you find them
hot or not. 

990
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:12,480
So let's say sex in like a 
public space where you could get

991
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:17,280
caught hot, OK? 
Unless it like. 

992
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:21,440
This is not like a malicious. 
Thing I know it it's. 

993
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,000
You mean you asking the question
or? 

994
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:26,600
Well, I'm definitely not that. 
Yeah, but yeah, it's not. 

995
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,440
Like, not with the intent to. 
Yeah, it's like just. 

996
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,600
To ruin someone's day. 
Yeah, I think it definitely tips

997
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,640
and scales like if I could like 
totally ruin somebody's birthday

998
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:36,200
party by like being seen, I 
think I maybe not. 

999
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:39,560
But if it's like somebody like 
at the mall might actually like 

1000
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,280
peak or something. 
She pulls you into, like, a 

1001
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,280
janitor's closet. 
And you like, Yeah. 

1002
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:45,720
That's on them. 
What are they doing in the 

1003
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:47,280
janitors? 
Totally, Yeah. 

1004
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,840
That janitor is so happy they 
they walked in on that right 

1005
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,160
Threesomes. 
Hot. 

1006
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,000
OK. 
Yeah, maybe that will be the way

1007
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,480
that you 2 keep the open part is
by like recruiting. 

1008
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:08,280
Yeah, yeah. 
And I, I think part of the I 

1009
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,880
think, but even when I was 
single, like I wasn't much of A 

1010
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:16,280
dater, like I don't have a 
strong drive to like go out and 

1011
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,200
get. 
It's awesome. 

1012
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:20,840
Is it? 
I mean, I guess it is. 

1013
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,640
It's like I find that calming. 
It is. 

1014
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,640
It's peaceful. 
Yeah, yeah, you do seem from 

1015
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,040
when we started talking, I was 
like, oh, this is a very anxious

1016
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,080
person. 
But now I'm like, oh, I think 

1017
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,200
he's actually a pretty chill 
person, which is right. 

1018
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,240
Yeah, that's an interesting. 
I think I come off in my stand 

1019
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,560
up is very anxious and really 
neurotic. 

1020
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:46,040
Yeah, but how do you feel I 
that's. 

1021
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:50,280
Do a little check in with 
yourself. 

1022
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,360
I think, yeah, I think I don't 
know. 

1023
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:56,920
It's like, you know, people, 
people like I'm a believer that 

1024
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,320
like, everybody is like has 
introverted times and everybody 

1025
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,160
has extroverted times, depending
on the context. 

1026
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:05,840
And I think I'm like, I think 
that I consider myself like when

1027
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,080
I go to the Comedy Store and I'm
on the patio, I'm like, why? 

1028
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,920
I have so much social anxiety? 
But the truth is that it's just 

1029
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,400
kind of a weird heightened 
situation where there's like 

1030
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:17,280
stakes that are unusual. 
But then compared to a lot of my

1031
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,920
friends who don't do comedy, I'm
like considering myself like 

1032
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:22,000
very social, of course. 
So it's like. 

1033
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,160
Just depends on what room you're
in. 

1034
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,760
Yeah, it depends who I compare 
myself to, but people will. 

1035
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,440
Sometimes when somebody DMS me, 
they'll be like, I love your 

1036
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,920
awkward comedy. 
I get that a lot. 

1037
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:33,640
And I'm like, I guess I'm 
awkward. 

1038
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,080
I guess there's like an 
awkwardness to it. 

1039
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,840
You're like, I'm gonna let you 
know, you don't have to put the 

1040
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:39,840
word. 
That word in. 

1041
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,560
Just comedy works for me. 
Totally. 

1042
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,720
That's so funny. 
What about sex in the great 

1043
00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:51,240
outdoors? 
So like on a camping trip? 

1044
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:52,640
On a hike. 
Hot. 

1045
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:57,000
That's great. 
Oh yeah, Where's your What would

1046
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:01,080
be your ideal place to have sex?
Is it bedroom? 

1047
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,680
Is it living room? 
Is it mountain top? 

1048
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,880
Is it cabin deck? 
I think hotel room is pretty 

1049
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,240
cool. 
Those are inherently horny 

1050
00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:10,040
spaces. 
Yeah. 

1051
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:13,280
And you think it's all bedroom? 
It's all bedroom and you feel 

1052
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,240
like you're getting your money's
worth a little bit. 

1053
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:17,560
And you don't have to like, wash
the sheets. 

1054
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,280
Yeah, there's the rags are 
there's like 40 of them, yes. 

1055
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,720
They're like, please have sex. 
Please. 

1056
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:24,080
Yeah. 
What? 

1057
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:27,880
Else I. 
Am. 

1058
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:29,160
That's a good answer. 
You know what? 

1059
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:35,040
Like you know what is the the 
deceptive 1 is I hot tubs always

1060
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:36,760
make me horny and make me want 
to have sex. 

1061
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,680
But as soon as I start thinking 
about the logistics, I don't 

1062
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:41,440
want to have sex in the hot tub.
They're like around it. 

1063
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,000
Anywhere near it, you're asking 
the hot tub. 

1064
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:48,880
Yeah, I can't believe actually, 
because there's those like Spot,

1065
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,560
there's hot tubs where you get 
like your own private room and 

1066
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,920
that's like a very horny space. 
But then as soon as I start kind

1067
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:54,880
of hooking up, I'm like, what 
are we? 

1068
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:56,680
Doing We're squeaky and like 
all. 

1069
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:58,120
What? 
And it's like kind of dirty. 

1070
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,600
I am such a hot tub girly. 
A hot tub. 

1071
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:05,000
They also feel inherently horny,
like you're just like you're hot

1072
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:08,240
and you're wet and then you're 
you're junk is like floating. 

1073
00:52:08,240 --> 00:52:10,840
Around, yeah, people are mostly 
naked, yeah. 

1074
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:16,080
Yeah, yeah. 
What about like, oh, hand jobs, 

1075
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:21,000
hand jobs. 
There's obviously the lore of 

1076
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,480
like guys are like, I can I do 
it best myself. 

1077
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,760
So like. 
Yeah, thank you for saying that.

1078
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,880
I I tried a joke recently where 
I was talking about like AI 

1079
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:35,560
replacing people, workers. 
And I think it's funny that, 

1080
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:40,040
like, software developers were, 
like, the first people to get 

1081
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,280
removed because they're the ones
who kind of brought it. 

1082
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:43,480
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

1083
00:52:43,720 --> 00:52:46,200
But it makes sense that 
computers would be best at that,

1084
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,360
in the same way that jerking off
feels best when you do it. 

1085
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,240
Yourself, yeah. 
And then I I had that line and 

1086
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:53,600
like multiple friends were like,
it feels better when somebody 

1087
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:54,800
else does it. 
What are you talking about? 

1088
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,720
Oh yeah, no, I was like, what? 
Every time a guy started I'm 

1089
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:59,960
like I got it. 
Yeah, if there was a gun to your

1090
00:52:59,960 --> 00:53:02,040
head and it was, or like if it 
was like if you can come in one 

1091
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:03,920
minute, you get $1000, you're 
not having somebody. 

1092
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,880
No. 
I got this. 

1093
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:09,760
That's so funny. 
Yeah. 

1094
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,880
Because obviously, yeah, you 
just like, you know your spots. 

1095
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:19,760
Yeah, I, I OK, so, but like, I I
think like as part of sex, I 

1096
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,480
like it. 
But if that was like alone, I 

1097
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:22,840
think I'm like. 
No, no thanks. 

1098
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:24,320
Not that interested. 
Blowjobs. 

1099
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:29,120
I like. 
Are you ideally if you're 

1100
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:32,040
engaging in sex? 
Are you ideally having 

1101
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,280
penetrative sex? 
Yeah, OK. 

1102
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:40,600
It like all leads up to that. 
Yeah, I guess so. 

1103
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:45,040
OK. 
Which like, yeah. 

1104
00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:46,400
OK. 
No, that's great. 

1105
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:50,800
And the last one, facials I 
guess giving them for you. 

1106
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,880
Yeah, that means like coming on 
on their face. 

1107
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,840
On their face. 
Yeah, that doesn't do much for 

1108
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:57,200
me. 
OK, Yeah. 

1109
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:01,080
That like the porn I grew up 
with, made me think it was like 

1110
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,400
where girls insisted, yeah, guys
come. 

1111
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:06,280
Yeah, like I guess how if they 
want. 

1112
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:10,040
Yeah, but like this is for you. 
Yeah, not me, right? 

1113
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:14,080
There's a comedian, man, I wish 
I remember who it was of, like 

1114
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:19,280
the guys, like the guys like, 
where do you want it? 

1115
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:21,040
And she's like on the ground, 
honestly. 

1116
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:22,280
Do you know? 
Who that is, There's a few 

1117
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:26,400
variations of this. 
Barbara Gray, some of a joke 

1118
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,560
where he's like, where do you 
want me to come? 

1119
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:33,760
And she's like in this jar. 
And then someone else, Jared 

1120
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:36,680
Goldstein, has a joke about his 
boyfriend's cum tasting bad. 

1121
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,040
And he's like, where do you want
me to finish? 

1122
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:43,880
And he goes in a Brita picture. 
And then I think Amy Schumer had

1123
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,720
like another joke like that. 
Where do you want me to come? 

1124
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:51,600
Outside would be ideal. 
Jared has, in my opinion, like 

1125
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:55,000
an all time great joke of like, 
like I'm not a bottom, I'm the 

1126
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,280
front. 
Yes, so funny. 

1127
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,800
And he's like this guy, the 
middle. 

1128
00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:03,440
Yeah, stand your toes. 
It might take a selfie. 

1129
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,600
You're blurry. 
Yeah, front and back. 

1130
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,280
So, Sarah, the great joke 
writer. 

1131
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,000
So fun. 
All right, so. 

1132
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,240
And the last thing is, what's 
some advice you give to younger 

1133
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,680
Jordan before he began his 
sexual journey? 

1134
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:21,160
Oh, I mean, well, that's a good 
question. 

1135
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:26,880
Definitely just like asking 
upfront if they if you want to 

1136
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:31,480
which totally in the consent 
application 100%, but also just 

1137
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:35,720
in the like fear of like making 
a move application, which for me

1138
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:40,720
was an issue. 
And I think also just the idea 

1139
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:46,960
that like sex is you're supposed
to be like comfortable. 

1140
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:51,160
So like if you're very anxious, 
you're not going to get hard, 

1141
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:54,040
you're not going to have a lot 
of fun, totally so. 

1142
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,120
So having fun and being 
comfortable. 

1143
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,880
Yeah, that's great. 
Yeah. 

1144
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,440
Awesome. 
Thanks for doing this. 

1145
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:03,800
What advice would you give 
yourself? 

1146
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:08,760
Oh, my God, Actually, at this 
point, I'm like, maybe like, 

1147
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:12,280
have fun, but like, slow down. 
Also, you don't have to do 

1148
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,120
anything you don't want to do. 
I was like a twink. 

1149
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,320
And I think like, I was 
definitely paired up with a 

1150
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:21,520
bunch of like, bigger, like 
stronger, sometimes older guys 

1151
00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:24,840
who were like part of the 
dynamic was like Dom sub. 

1152
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:29,800
And like, when you don't know 
it's OK to be like, no, but not 

1153
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:33,640
that, you know, you're trying to
fulfill a role and a fantasy. 

1154
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,280
And it's like, oh, you can like,
you can, you can have 

1155
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:39,160
boundaries. 
Yeah, but that's all. 

1156
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,320
You're the first person to ever 
ask me. 

1157
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:41,320
Really. 
Yeah. 

1158
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,960
You know, this whole podcast, 
I'm like, it's so rude. 

1159
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:44,200
I haven't been asking the. 
Question. 

1160
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,920
That would be weird and. 
Like if you probably answered 

1161
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,840
these before. 
Oh yeah, no, it's also like very

1162
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:55,160
like my guest is always very 
brave because I mean, obviously,

1163
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,360
like I said, it's the first time
we really had a one-on-one and 

1164
00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:59,480
I'm asking you like, where'd you
come? 

1165
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:02,280
Yeah, like it's like it's 
actually crazy that you feel 

1166
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:05,200
comfortable or hopefully you 
feel comfortable enough to have 

1167
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,320
the conversation. 
Yeah. 

1168
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,520
I mean are most stand ups 
comfortable to have the 

1169
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,360
conversation? 
Yeah, it is like a thing of 

1170
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:12,800
stand up where I'm like, I have 
no more shame. 

1171
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,760
I think that's great. 
My whole goal with this sex a 

1172
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:19,360
sex podcast is just to make sex 
more conversational because I 

1173
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:23,640
feel like people are so ashamed 
or they they carry secrets with 

1174
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,760
them or you know what I mean? 
It's just like, it's so 

1175
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:30,600
important to hear that other 
people ran down the hall to come

1176
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,640
into their toilet or, or, you 
know, like, didn't know. 

1177
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,760
It's as simple as asking a girl,
can I kiss you? 

1178
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:38,880
Like, yeah, yeah. 
Feel us alone. 

1179
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,280
There's a, there's a documentary
right now on, I don't know if 

1180
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:43,960
you like, like cult 
documentaries, but there's one 

1181
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:48,960
on Apple right now about a 
tantric yoga cult that was like 

1182
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:52,120
very hierarchical and like 
tantric yoga is like sexy, like,

1183
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,560
you learn how to have sex and 
it's like the, of course the 

1184
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:55,720
leader was having sex with 
everybody. 

1185
00:57:55,760 --> 00:58:00,160
Yeah, But, you know, as is all 
cult documentaries in the early 

1186
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:01,840
stages, you're like, that sounds
pretty cool. 

1187
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:03,960
And it was like these like 
organizations, these yoga 

1188
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:07,040
centers would like, talk about 
how to have good sex and like, 

1189
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:11,680
like in a community of what? 
Oh of like leading me starting. 

1190
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:15,040
Like a yeah. 
No, but I'm watching this and 

1191
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:18,080
I'm thinking like it's cool that
this community is talking about 

1192
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:23,160
sex and it's like not nobody's 
just like quietly like like, I 

1193
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:24,640
don't know, it's it's that's 
cool. 

1194
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:26,720
I do. 
I just think it's insane that 

1195
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:29,880
like we have like rampant gun 
violence and you can talk about 

1196
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:33,400
like a school getting shot up, 
but if you like talked about 

1197
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:38,280
like me and Brad are having this
weird like issue in our sex life

1198
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:42,800
people like like everyone clams 
up. 

1199
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:44,920
Abortion is like that too. 
Yeah. 

1200
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,680
Such a faux pas. 
Crazy. 

1201
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:50,360
Yeah. 
Abort more babies? 

1202
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:54,280
No, but yeah, I just like, yeah,
I don't want anyone to feel 

1203
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:57,000
embarrassed or alone or like, 
ashamed. 

1204
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,880
Yeah, I I think that's like one 
of the, the, the highest like 

1205
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:04,200
ideals of comedy is like even 
people who are just like, seems 

1206
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,640
like they're comedy is not about
anything important, but they're 

1207
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,560
like talking about how they're 
like have ADD like that. 

1208
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:11,960
There's a lot of people. 
Also, like people take for 

1209
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:14,400
granted, like anybody, no 
offense, that's not straight and

1210
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:21,680
white is just taking up the 
space and being, you know, seen 

1211
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:25,400
is like good for like other 
people who may not be straight 

1212
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:28,920
and white totally, you know, Oh,
wait, tell the tower bottoms 

1213
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:30,920
where they can find love and 
support you. 

1214
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:35,640
Instagram Jordan dot thulis. 
THEWLIS. 

1215
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,960
Yes. 
And also I think that's it I'm 

1216
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:39,760
listening to. 
Yeah, Jordan. 

1217
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:41,560
Any shows coming up that you 
want to like? 

1218
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,600
Are you doing any road dates or?
Anything. 

1219
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:45,800
No, I just. 
I just finished up a bunch of 

1220
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:49,360
poor stuff, but I'm like, I'm 
working on some projects right 

1221
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:51,160
now where I'm. 
Do you know Kylie Vincent? 

1222
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,280
I'm gonna like, help. 
I'm gonna direct her special and

1223
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:55,560
I'm gonna direct Jeff Dean 
special. 

1224
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:57,480
Oh, my God. 
Yeah, that's great. 

1225
00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:59,520
Check those out. 
They're both gonna be like 

1226
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:01,480
multimedia and cool and 
interesting, so. 

1227
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:03,880
Have they already? 
Are they in production? 

1228
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,360
Yeah. 
In varying ways, like Kylie just

1229
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:10,480
got like AMS diagnosis. 
So she has a new show about 

1230
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:11,520
that. 
And we're going to have a lot of

1231
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,680
behind the scenes stuff and like
interviews with doctors. 

1232
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,400
And then Jeff does these things 
where he like acts out his jokes

1233
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:18,040
and like turns them into 
sketches where they like lip 

1234
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:19,480
sync kind of Drunk History 
style. 

1235
01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:21,080
So we're going to do 20 minutes 
of that. 

1236
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,200
Cool, yeah. 
That's awesome. 

1237
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,480
Yeah, check those out. 
Yeah, thanks so much for coming 

1238
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:26,720
on the pod. 
Thanks for having me, yeah. 

1239
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,120
And until next time, keep 
sucking and fucking. 

1240
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:35,480
Bye. 
Hello, Tower Bottoms. 

1241
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:38,400
It's me, your host, Zach Newey. 
Towers, thank you so much for 

1242
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,520
listening to Good Side Pod. 
If you haven't already, give it 

1243
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:44,360
a five star rating. 
Leave a review, share it with a 

1244
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,720
friend, get the word out. 
I love you so much.