It's me, your ho Zach Newey Towers looking sexier than ever
if I do say so myself. I just wanted to let you know
real quick that I am going on tour and I'd love to see you at
a live show. So real quick I'll be in
Houston, TX May 19th Austin TX May 20th San Diego, CA May 22nd
Chandler AZ May 23rd Raleigh NC June 16th Charlotte NC June 17th
Berea, California June 24th San Francisco.
I'll be at the Punchline all weekend June 25th, 26th and
27th. London is August 1st,
Philadelphia September 23rd, St. Louis, September 24th, Portland,
OR October 15th. Also, my special is fully out
and available to watch for free on YouTube on the Purse First
Studios channel. It's called Twink Death and I
think it's very good. I'd love for you to like,
comment, share if you can, And if you want tour updates, text
the Tower Bottom hotline. That's right, there's a tower
bottom hotline. It's a business line, but it
goes straight to my business phone.
And if you let me know your name and city, I will text you
directly when I book a headlining gig in your area.
So that number is 213-728-4647. Text me your name and city and
you'll get updates from me. Zack Noy Towers.
Anyway, enjoy the episode. No, it's one of my favorites
genre of ending Lisa. Traeger.
Yay. Hello.
Comedian extraordinaire special on Netflix called Night Owl.
Wait, no headphones, no cords? No, we're just like so.
No, it's freeing. It's like I realized with doing
my own pod, especially a passion project, it needed to be as easy
as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, and I and I walk into your home.
It's gorgeous. It smells clean, amazing,
incredible, but so much Scream stuff.
And it's one of my favorite movies.
Top Do you have a top five? So this is the thing, I have a
top three and it's always the same and it's from childhood and
it is what it is. And then the other two always
interchange like I have like my top 20 and they could all go
into the four and five slot. Some of them are revealed over
time. You have to look back at me like
oh this one is for sure like screaming clueless are my top 2.
OK, Yeah, yeah, of. Course.
And then greatest showman. Yeah, Barbarian.
Barbarian changed my life. Not same.
Because to me, I couldn't even believe a man made it.
Because there is no better movie that shows what it's like to be
a woman than barbarian. That is the woman experience.
And to start with her pulling up to this Airbnb and it's like,
what do I fucking do? What?
A surprise? What A.
Surprise. Bam.
Bam and Justin Long's obsessed. I did Doug loves movies with him
once. He's like one of my favorites.
I saw Tusk like opening weekend. I am like a Justin Long fucked.
Me up a little bit. Well, you took Megan Gaily and
she didn't know what it was and I would say she was not great.
She's like, what the fuck did you take me?
But that happened to Human Centipede.
I took a guy had a crush on and then when we got there he was
like, is this the ass to mouth movie?
And I go, yeah. And you know, but we went on
mid, I went on midnight. And you must have been very
young, because that came. Up.
Yeah. I was 20s, mid 20s, early 20s,
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Wow. But barbarian, then what is your
friend I. Don't know what the 5th is on
the city. OK, do you know what your ish?
So my 3 is some like it hot big business and death becomes her
death becomes those are like. Have you seen the musical?
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Very sexy it was. Great.
And it didn't stick to the movie, No, but it was so close
enough. It was close enough I my new
favorite thing is seeing like effects like.
Special effects, yeah. 'Cause I just saw Lost Boys the
musical the. Vampires, yeah.
It was so good. I heard Stranger Things is also.
Yeah, I heard there's a lot of effects.
I'm just not connected to that like I wouldn't.
Probably that IP doesn't do anything for you.
Oh, it's fine. I mean it's fine, but lots of
boys I didn't know either. I was the last minute invite and
I went for freeze do. You go to a lot of Broadway
shows because you're a New York girl.
What's a lot? I've I've I took five weeks off
the road, so I went to a lot of plays, to Off Broadway, a stage
reading. If I'm invited or something
happens, I'll go, but I'm not, I'm not like I don't know
everything. Did you no same?
Did you happen to see the Paranormal Activity play?
No, but I heard Trixie Mattel talking about on her podcast and
it was here in Pasadena, right? And when it comes to New York,
I'm going to watch it. It scared me.
I want to see. I was like, I like this.
I had to do like a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no 'cause they
sound design and they do effects and you're just like, this is
scary. Yeah, I can't wait.
I like that people are doing scary stuff, fierce stuff.
Yeah. And the Lost Boys, like the
Brit, the people are falling. Motorcycle fly.
Like, I love it. I love it.
Is Lost Boys still playing 'cause I'm coming to new?
York, it's just I went during previews like I think it might,
it might just be premiering right now.
Yeah. But the other two I would say
like American Beauty, I would say Scream, I would say get out.
And then I love Apocalypse. Even though you're in a Jordan
Peele movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Nope.
Yeah. But I didn't.
I'm such a fan that I only read my part.
I didn't read the rest of the scripts.
Like I want to be surprised. Interesting.
So yeah, when people read like, I actually can't read my.
The whole script. Well, once I was cast, but it
had fake names, like they had a lot of security and like I
auditioned with dummy lines because I didn't know what I was
auditioning for or anything. It was just dummy lines from a
different movie. I'm very short so I sent like
1015 takes all different just because I didn't know what it
was. He knew you as a comedian and
wanted to get you in there. Set.
When I said bye to him, I was like, I can't believe I'm here,
'cause I think I was on set for two days, he said.
I want you to like, I'm a George, I'm a Lisa Traeger fan,
or like George, we're Lisa Traeger fans over here.
Something like that. But I didn't really get to talk
to him at the premiere or anything like that.
There was a photo of Daniel Coolio, Little Rail and Jordan
Peele standing and like, I wish I had a little, like, I wish I
just got in it. Yeah, yeah, at least like the
third black be like. Yeah, but I went alone to that
party because I wasn't allowed in.
They like they said I was on the I can go to the premiere, no
plus one, no party when I got to the premiere, no tickets for me.
I had to like show emails to be like, I swear them in this like
please. And then someone got me into the
party, but no one really wanted. I was like walking alone at this
party for most of the night. But it doesn't.
Yeah, it doesn't. I've never seen Apocalypto.
I loved it. I probably watched like 10
times. I really, really loved it.
It's like Inca Aztec, yeah. It's so good, but I would say
pulp fictions in there like I just.
Is that your number one Tarantino movie?
I he kind of I would say Romo, Michelle could be in there and
not in the horror movie, but like in the those young adult is
one of my favorite movies ever. I watched that around.
Yeah, I watch it all the time. Really.
Yeah. It changed my life.
Like I yeah, I love that movie. That's so interesting.
Patton Oswalt. Yeah, I just, I love it.
But wait, would you say? Oh, we were just saying top
five. I know, but I asked and you're
like, is it I Oh, favorite quintet?
The thing is, I love Kill Bill one and two more than same Pulp
Fiction. Did you happen to see the whole
bloody ordeal? They played it as one movie
within intermission and there were like extra scenes and
stuff. Or like it was just like edited
a little bit differently. Because that's another I'm
always surprised when men understand women that's just
like rare. And I feel like the end of that.
And I'm like, I'm not a parent. I don't want to be, I'm child
free. But like the end of Kill Bill to
me is just like such a. Like Mama bear, baby bear.
The release, the crime, the safe, like all like I'm getting
chills. Like, I just love that ending.
Yeah, a lot. Do you write?
But Now and then would be my favorite.
Oh my. God now and then.
Jawbreaker you have. I dressed up like her at prom
for Halloween. Rose McGowan.
Yeah, what a bitch. What a.
Bitch Rose McGowan drove me to Disneyland once.
Why? Because she was Queen of gay
days and she was besties with this rich gay that I hung out
with. And we were all driving down and
she's like, someone has to drive with me.
And I was like, I mind you, I'm like 24 years old.
Were you losing it? Rose McGowan Tatum Tatum from
Scream is like, I was like, I want to be killed in a garage.
Door, it's the best. And she was.
Cool. She was like a, she was like a
high bitch, like funny girl. Oh yeah.
So it's just random. OK, This is actually a sex
podcast. Did you know that?
No, no, we, I, I catapulted your.
So we did Netflix as a joke. You guys were doing the radio
show in the middle of this poker tournament.
Yeah, and I I bamboo. I bamboozled you.
I, I rushed the stage. Oh yeah, no, I grabbed.
My, that was such a gift. I just, yeah, I like took over
the radio. We we were at a poker.
And you said can you make this happen?
And I'm glad you did. This is like so fun.
Oh good, I'm. I'm and I just love someone that
likes barbarian as much as I. Do Barbarian.
I will. I It was one of those movies
that I brought friends back to see it.
I was like, oh, we got it. You got to come see this movie
with me. Like I, I saw it and I was like,
I need other people to see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw it late. I saw it only last year I think,
or two like I, and I had to pause a few times too.
The theater experience is wild. And then Justin Long on the PCH
like. I'm just a lot like him the
whole time, Like what the fuck? What the fuck?
And I'm being like, So what? So a little, but you know, and I
was like so good. And the cops, the way they
treated her at. The gas station I know.
And just when Justlong gets to the back and he assumes that guy
is good. He's like, we're gonna get you
out of here, isn't it? Shit.
Although I loved how she obviously found the hidden
seller terrified, horrified. He's skipping around measuring.
He's like heck yeah, he's sitting on the bed that
obviously someone's been murdered on.
It was. Just, oh, him being like, oh,
that's not that scary of a room. It's like a bare mattress with
blood. VHS camcorder and a bucket.
That doesn't give you fear vibes?
I don't. Know that is truly male versus
female perspective though too. He's like another storage room.
Great. Great.
And then when he shoots her on the way out where it's like she
did everything, she saved you, she helped you, she's been
surviving there. She gives you advice, you don't
listen. You then shoot her and he.
Still does that shit to her at the very, very end.
And that the like that it was so mundane and he was able to get
away with it for decades because that's the, that's the, that's
the simplistic horror of it all, is that it's actually just men
getting away with murdering women for decades.
And we still give him the benefit of the doubt.
I know we're like he, he's, he took his time out like let him
back. Did you watch the 86 second
short that that's like going around the.
Grandma won, Yeah. Yeah, that's good.
I know y'all do have to check that out.
It's like 90 seconds maybe total.
No, it's 80. 6 seconds, It's 86 seconds.
Is it called Weekend at Grandma? 'S I've been calling it the 86
seconds. I have no idea.
I will say I was like, oh, huh. Oh, Oh no, your mind goes all
sorts of crazy places. People are just so creative and
so good, and I like seeing. It Do you write horror?
I've had this horror movie idea forever and I'm, I'm, I've been
meeting with writers, I would say, for eight years.
Can. You tell Can you say what the
basic thing is or you don't have to?
I Yeah. It's like it's ghost in one in
one, Ghost, Ghost Palm Springs, friendship, female friendship,
Ghost Palm Springs. Is it funny?
I hope so. Okay, Horror comedy always.
Yeah, like I love this is the end and stuff like that, and I
love dragging me to hell. Like that would actually be my
top. Like that would be the top.
Drag me Hell is great. I love Drag Me to Hell, another
Justin Long. Love the Evil Deads.
I've never seen him. I've never seen.
That's the thing. I'm like someone that loves,
loves stuff. But then I'm not the expert on
it. And so I have blind spots within
my passions for sure. But to me, it's like a gift
because I'll continue being able to.
Explore. Yeah, yeah.
And experience. Yeah, I'm okay with getting into
things late. That's great.
Or or like yeah. I'm gonna put this on your radar
then, Widow's Bay. OK someone just fucking brought
it up to I had a 10/30 breakfast and someone brought up Widow's
Bay. Couldn't believe how funny and
scary it was. OK.
Cool. It's so good.
Like some of the lines are like 30 Rock lines and then it gets.
Scary. Oh 'cause it's Apple.
This might be what gets me to get Apple.
It might. 'Cause I want Widow's Bay.
It's. Not all out yet, so you can
wait. Oh, OK cool.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I want, I want to make
stuff. I try to write stuff.
I try. What's the other thing?
Murder. Yeah, I try to make some, but I
need writers. I'm not going to do it alone.
I'm not a tippity tap kind of person.
I'm not structure. I'm not grammar.
My managers changes all my grammar on everything that we
need to submit. I and I work with writer stand
up. I can do on my own potty like
all of that. Like I like acting all but
anything that's written down gonna be a script.
Yeah, I I need to work. With someone.
I am better in the I am also really good and someone said
something shitty in a meeting to me about when I said this to
them. But I'm OK being this.
I'm really good at an assist, sure.
Like I'm really good at saying something and then someone will
say the fun. Like I'm good at like setting
stuff up too. And in my own life I'm good at
good at punch lines. But I do admire people that can
work in a room and have to write like 20 jokes about something in
a day. Like, I can't do that, but I
admire people that can. I don't like any sort of.
I don't like being tied to anything.
Yeah, no one can. No, no, no.
And then I have to work with people that get me, like these
two girls I'm working with now, like they let me eat and chill.
Like they'll give me 5 minute phone breaks.
They take me for walks. They're.
Like you can look at the me they yeah, they kind of, they know,
Yeah, they know what I'm about to.
That's so funny. And I need that.
And same with my manager. She used to be my agent's old
assistant, so she just knows my personality and that's very
important to me. Succeeding, of course, because I
used to want to learn everything, but there's people
that are great at it. So like why am I going to learn
how to write and do a script structure when I could work with
people? Yes, and give notes and be like.
I don't like that. Yeah, and like, we're practice,
but I like. Yeah, I like it.
OK. Why are you writing tons of
things all the time? No, I've I've written a couple
things. It's hard this.
Town has been fondling them for like 8-4 to 8 years and I'm just
like that's OK. Like if it if it's just that
that's wait, you're heated rivalry.
Hardcore so well because you saw my Simpsons.
Project. Yeah, that was wild.
Obviously you can't like casually make something like
that. No, and let the people know
what? It is.
I recreated heated rivalry scene by scene using images from The
Simpsons because it's. Another.
Simpsons is just in my head because people like, how did you
do it? I'm like, I just think about The
Simpsons at all times. I don't know what to tell you,
'cause I went to, I've done this before.
I went to an Art Museum in Ireland and recreated 19
paintings with direct images. Yeah, yeah.
And I make stuff for myself. I actually in there's an episode
of The Simpsons where there's a little Pulp Fiction thing and
it's the GIMP scene with the ball gag and I I made it from
the movie but with The Simpsons characters in it.
Like I meant but Instagram made me take us down.
No. Ball gags.
I know I got taken down like. That why don't we have an 18 and
up toggle where you just toggle and it's like I'm 18 please show
me shaft or whatever. I think people go to Twitter for
Shaft. I know, but bring shaft to
Instagram. I'm with you, I'm with you.
I want, I want more horniness. But Rachel Reed has seen The
Simpsons piece and as good. Yeah, we've DM Ed about it.
So that was a huge thing for me. A script, a horror comedy I
wrote in 2018 was at a company dropped.
At a company dropped at a company dropped.
A friend who listens to my pod heard me talking about it.
He's a writer director in Canada.
He's been the director attached for four years.
It's Jacob Tierney. No way.
So. So are you about to make it?
Are you gonna make it? Well, now he's never.
He's gonna be so easy. But isn't that like?
Isn't that like? Whoa, so you, cause I've seen
him post about you. So like I, you know, but 'cause
I follow all of them very closely.
Jacob's incredible. It's incredible.
So I've read all the books because I loved the show so much
and like, I can't like is that up to it's like insane what he
was able to do. Like reading the book made me
even appreciate the show even more.
Like what he knew was important and what he couldn't put in.
Or like how to combine things to work with things so you.
Think readers of Peter Gravelry and the viewers are both pretty
happy I. Think everyone's really happy.
I mean, obviously there's like like 5% of fandoms that are
always like mentally ill and might like like are not nice.
Or parted on the wrong side. Like no, I think people, well,
Rachel Reed posted that people were shitty when the boys first
got cast, but like I can't imagine anywhere not being
they've been a dream because even the things that have
changed from the book, it's like I'd rather these I don't need
any man buns. Like I don't want any man buns.
In the book, there's man buns and I don't the tattoo like the
thing. The one cool thing that I felt
really smart that I caught was in the book, when Ilia gives the
hotel room, it's 1221, but in the show it's 1221.
And I clocked that. And I was like, I wonder why?
And then I watched an interview with the script supervisor and
that was her, 'cause she's like, your English wouldn't be good
enough to know that. And I speak Russian, I'm the
native Russian speaker. So I was also, before I even
watched that interview, I was really impressed at like, the
progression of his accent in English and knowing they didn't
film it in order. But it's like a teen who doesn't
really know English to then, you know, 10 years living in
America. And I also don't always realize
what a script supervisor does 'cause I'm annoyed by them
'cause like I don't want to do my life.
Like I did it better when I didn't do the right.
Line, yeah. So to me, I didn't realize like
what like. Important part of everything is
yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so like, I just loved that I
caught it. And then I got to that.
I got, I caught the interview that I was like, Oh my God, I
was right. This was intentional.
That's such and it's like so impressive that they were able
to do that. Well, that's impressive that you
caught it. That's so.
Well, yeah. Because you also put like he
would use, like, Russian words with within the English.
That worked so well. Like, obviously everyone that
works on that show is, like, incredible.
But yeah, it clocks in. It felt clear.
But I think everyone's happy from the books.
I think everyone's really happy. But I'm new to reading.
Like, I didn't read for a decade.
And then Rachel reads why I read now.
Really. Yeah.
I've read like 15 books this year, but I haven't read in like
a decade. For real.
I really like self help books.
I don't want that. I want stories.
Oh, interesting. I'm.
Not and I would prefer them be two men fucking.
I'm on a different hockey series.
I hope Rachel's friends with everyone, but I'm reading
another gay hockey. Series.
Well, she must be Queen of the Castle right now.
Yeah, well, I want to. I want to hang out with her so
bad. So I invite her to my show
tonight, but she has like another event.
But we damned. And then yesterday I did Nicole
Byer's podcast. I get there, I see the heated
rivalry book, and then I see Rachel's autograph and I go,
what the fuck? And they're like, she just left.
No, that is so crazy. You know, I know I'm like
chasing her around LA. Damn.
Yeah, but yeah, it's cool. And my niece really loves it.
She's 21. So like, I like that we got
your. Niece, I hear.
Six years. Old No, I know, I know.
But I sent her like I've been sending her packages.
Like I get the magazines the boys are in and stuff and I send
them to her with. They've just been a dream, like
the shows been out, but they continue to be mesmerizing and
funny and charming and fun. Yeah, and like all their
projects are working with female directors and cool people, and
they just seem like art scenes. It's great.
I don't know. I love it.
I met Connor, OK, at a little cocktail party thing, and then
me and Jacob and Francois went to dinner.
Where'd you go toy on Thai? I don't know that toy, son.
It's a Thai restaurant. It's it's a hole in the wall.
OK, great. Yeah.
Yeah, fine. Yeah, what do you mean
interesting? Oh no, just like I guess I
haven't told many people that because they aren't as into the
heater driver as you. Yeah, but I, yeah, I get into
things. And so, like, my friends should
be used to it. But everyone was really worried
about me for a moment. And I was like, why are you guys
worried? Like, I'm a hardcore Swifty.
I go to Swifty Soul cycles. I've been seeing the Backstreet
Boys for decades, you know? Like I'm also loyal, like, once
I'm into something. Blank space.
I mean, yeah, I have my, my, my bracelets did.
You you saw arrows. Yeah, yeah, I saw in Toronto.
Oh my God, where did you go? I went opening night.
I. I knew.
I knew you were in Arizona. We've talked about it.
I was about to say, I know you went in.
Arizona and I went like Night 3 in LA.
Yeah, it's it was such a good show.
It was a really good. Show I actually am overdue for
watching it. Yeah, I shouldn't.
Did you watch the doc series? Obviously.
No, I didn't. Oh my God.
OK, out of the six episodes, the first four, awesome.
The 5th, whatever. The 6th?
Unnecessary, really. But the first 4 episodes I got
to watch like about the dancer. Well like like I'm talking
about, I'm watching these like script supervisor interviews,
like I like teamwork. So what I liked about the Dock
is like you get to see the costumers and like the stage
stuff. The band were there.
People you fell in love with that you didn't realize.
Choreographer and then Amanda, the like Blondie and she was
retired. She's like in her 30s.
She was just a choreographer. And Taylor kept going.
Amanda, you're a pop star. And she came back and was like
one of the main dancer. I'm like getting chills and one
of the guys, what the fuck is his name?
Wally? What's a?
Wally. Wally.
Was that his name? Who's Wiley?
Wiley Wiley's one of her. Dancers name.
But he was just like he he's like being a dude so much
dancing is like aggressive, aggressive or and he's like, you
know, I have long hair. I like to flip my hair, but I
couldn't be me. He's like Taylor's the first
tour. I could be me like wear whatever
makeup and then ready for it's only for girls, but they let him
do ready for it because it's his dream and he fit into the the
costume. And then you get to watch Wiley.
Liv is like ready for it dreams like you have to watch that.
And then you get to watch Florence, Florence and the
Machine and her rehearse Florida.
Oh my God. And then and then you.
See Mandy the choreographer be like, I can't believe I get to
like hear Florence sing right now.
You know, it's like beautiful. And the the bonus I just, I like
it. It's so good and ready for.
It's one of my favorite songs. One of my favorite songs, and I
love Don't blame me, Like, I like the desperate, Desperate.
But yeah, I get obsessed with stuff.
Like I've been collecting Simpsons toys.
I have Simpsons tattoos, like I do Seinfeld trivia, Sex in the
City shirt. Like I, I love what I love.
Yeah. And so my friends, I was like,
why are you all so worried? Like, you know, I get into
stuff, you know, I like to know everything about the thing I
like. And they're like, I think it's
because it's only 6 episodes. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I
guess I'm like, I'm like, I watch Seinfeld all the time.
They're like, yeah, there's a, there's like a few.
It would take like a couple months.
Actually to get through sign. No, I was waking up every
morning and putting on the cottage and then I would like
that would Get Me Out. Of that, your sun salutations.
It truly cured my depression. Like people don't believe me,
but like the show came out and it cured my depression.
It changed my life. Deborah D Giovanni had a similar
experience. Yeah, I like.
Loved. It Yeah, my my whole mood has
changed. And I have a few other
psychopaths, like if I was alone on an island, it would be crazy.
But like, the magazines are selling out.
I'm not alone, no. And.
So I DM with a few. Do you know Bennington GAIL?
Like it's like they're a radio father daughter do it.
Like we DM so much. We share everything.
So my explore page is just like, yeah, we're on it.
The and like I stay up late and she has kids, so she wakes up
early. So we're like, she wakes up to
updates and then I'll get the morning updates from her. 24
hour news guest. But it's just like Connor
soaring Hudson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I like to have the things I like.
I want to have the steps like yeah, but I have my Dexter
Morgan bracelet. Like, I love Dexter the killer,
Yeah. Resurrection was so good and
they filmed it in New York. Oh, it's awesome.
It's for the Uma Thurman's in it.
Which one? Which one?
Which one was like ski town? That was newer.
Odd. OK, I tried to watch it, I
couldn't get into it. I.
Understand people didn't love new blood.
I did. It's fine.
I thought the villain was great. But like, I understand people
not liking new blood. I get it 'cause you watch the
original Dexter. Yeah.
OK, so Dexter, resurrection's for us, babe.
OK, he's in New York. He's back to killing.
He's he's killing like so many people.
It's awesome. And he's his son, and he's his
son. Harrison's there.
Uma Thurman, Eric Stonestreet, Neil Patrick Harris, Krysten
Ritter. Oh my.
God Ledge, that is staff, yeah. Yeah, and a bunch of character
actors that like, you know, but like you like.
What's his name? Fermusa.
What the fuck is his name? He was a Nurse Jackie's husband.
But yeah, Resurrection. I watched three times.
Damn, I loved it. I loved it 'cause I get turned
on, but I like that he's like horny to kill and I love
watching him clean. And he's also always killing bad
guys. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK. Yeah.
It's like it's, it's awesome. Batista's back.
Wow. It's it's fun.
OK, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no pressure. I'm sorry I've ruined your
fucking podcast. Not just.
I'll tell you about the shows I love.
No. Because we were like on it.
I was like, this is great. Yeah, it is great, but did you
like the show? Was it crazy watching it?
The poker. Show no, he did right for it.
Oh my God or yes, I love that. A little bit of resistance
watching gay stuff like. Oh no, I could tell not by you
Somebody. I'm like, it's like either know
gay guys who are like I was on set with three gay guys and we
just had the funnest time. They loved it and like they were
so connected to it. And then I have so many gay guy
friends that are like, I don't want.
Like they just. Kind of don't and I it's like
OK. It's a lot of things.
Yeah, it's so it's layered. But I will say.
But if a straight like if a gay guy doesn't want to watch it or
a girl, I'm fine. If a straight man refuses to
watch it I won't give him peace. I'm actually so rude.
Some of my friends husbands won't watch it.
I'm like, well, you're married to a homophobe and that's
something you should probably think about.
It is so crazy. Your wife watched it five times.
Can't get enough and you won't watch it once.
You're a homophobe. Yeah, Can you imagine thinking
that you can drag someone through everything you enjoy and
then not participate in something they enjoy?
It kills me. I don't I don't I see something
weird like it's a sensation Everyone like I don't get why
you wouldn't be at least curious about it or people are or no or
people go. I watched the first one.
I think I got the gist. I go, oh, we have a 10 year love
story. I'm like, you're void of
everything. I didn't even know.
So annoying because episode 5 changed my brain chemistry
forever. I mean, the tamp of it, 'cause I
listen to the score, I go, you know, I went to heat.
You know, my my favorite teacher in New York did heat of rivalry
soul cycles and then she did heat of rivalry, Taylor Swift
soul cycles, and they sold out so fast.
Yeah, of course. But dress was on it.
Like I can see you. I could show you the playlist,
but it was and it was before the score even came out.
So I can't imagine it was like the song was from And she did a
challenger as he did rivalry. Right.
So she knew that it was gonna, she just liked the idea.
Well. Because the songs she like, you
know, like all the songs and like Caitlin Bruce, like all the
songs and bad things and. Damn.
Oh yeah. But gay stuff.
Oh yeah. I'm so glad I watched it.
I recommended it to everyone. Oh yeah, the, the, when you said
5, like when they're in Tampa Bay, like like the sun.
I really like the play of like the dark and light and the sun.
And I really like that a lot. I am very excited for Season 2
of. Course, did you read the book?
Oh, so you don't know anything? Yeah, I read the book.
I really love it. And I don't.
Well, I read all of them, obviously.
What's like the What do you perceive to be the hurdle that
they have to clear next? Or is it them?
The hurdle is like, you know, secret, secret.
And now they're in, like, a fully committed relationship
with different needs. And also, like, Ilia left
everything to be right. Like, he's, like, isolated and
his, like, a history of depression in his family, I
guess. OK.
But I would say it goes from, like, now they're in a real
relationship and, like, are they going to come out?
Like, what are they going to do? Like, what does this look like
now? It's been three years and
they're living in secret as, like, committed people in love.
Yeah. Yeah.
And what does that do to a
person or, like, who knows? Desert green.
Or Twink to share. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's always like so scary when friends are like, we're we're
bringing. I'm like, OK, I always hope for
the best because I'm like evolved and cool and I want
people to do cool stuff. But wow, the disasters I've
seen. The perfect segue the.
Disasters I've seen. What is your take on like open
relationships? OK, I like the idea of, well, I
hate polyamory. Like if you're going on date, if
it's fucking related, I'm OK with it if you're like going on
dates with someone. Fostering like.
I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine.
I also like I knew this one couple where they're just like
always on the hunt for a threesome and it kind of
sickened me and they were hetero, but they were always
looking for a girl and it was always just like you think she's
down. It was just always it was just
always in a way that kind of I don't like, but I love the idea
of having a not a rigid if you're hetero Christian vibe.
Like I like the idea of like should we fuck that person or
like oh that or I want this or this person to try.
Like I have a hopeless romantic view of what I want in my
relationship and love and like. Like you only want to like show.
Or or like, oh, I'm on vacation or like like I like openness and
fucking, but you do not date anyone.
And I also don't like the because we're we're going to
constantly look for 1/3. Yep, I that's that's what a.
Lot of gay guys, once they open it becomes they're both on
grinder at home next to each other on the couch.
But I love hanging out with like certain gay couples I have, and
they're just like both talking about all these people they fuck
outside of it. And I love it too.
But they're just cooler. Like, I don't know, they're just
like, so hot. With that couple though that you
that said was always looking for a girl, did you see it as a
driving force? No, because at one point the the
she goes, yeah, the girl we fucked about, she was so hot.
It really pissed me off. Like that kind of conversations
were happening where it felt like, are you even 'cause I knew
she's bi, but like, I don't know about the dynamic and I've also
fucked him. Yeah, 'cause I've also fucked
couples before and like when it's all about the like the
hetero, like if it's two girls and a guy and it's about the
guy, I've been in that and I didn't like that either.
No. So like it was like what she,
she, I felt like she was performing for him and I was
there for like, I didn't like that dynamic either.
I I, when when I I do do threesomes threesomes, I I, I I
need need to to be be the the focal focal point point because
I have been in a situation where they're not ignoring me like
they're obviously they're making love and I'm like a, a
flashlight with a pulse. Do you know what I mean?
Like I. I was dare to.
No, there was. I mean, there's ups and downs to
everything but or. Like one time there was a couple
I knew that wanted to fuck and I was into it.
But then when I went over to hang, just the casual hang to
see what's up, I didn't like the gender norms.
Like she was working and laundry and getting lunch and me and the
dude were sitting watching Fran Lebowitz's public speaking.
I was like, I don't like that you're sitting here while she's
doing all these errands. And so I didn't want to fuck
them. Wow.
Are you easily? I won't.
I guess that's not easily turned off, but you have to stick with
people pretty like. Yeah, but that's a problem.
Well, I think it's because I project a version of people that
isn't real and I get too insane and then I'm obsessed with this
fake version of a person and then they and they.
They fuck it up. And then?
By not being that. But one time I was like, I think
that's someone in mid sex. I swear he was like, you're not
into this anymore, are you? I go no.
Your vagina went. I'm actually not.
It was not even something at the moment like, yeah, quick, quick.
I can't imagine what it must be like to be a girl having sex
because, well, it just be like so many guys like they are just
kind of like pounding one out and on a for the girl like I
mean, well, that's. Like what the conversation about
rape culture is because a lot of the times it's so much like
criminal, not criminal. And it's like, no, it's the way
that sex is viewed. Right When we talked about like
that article that came out about Aziz and they're like, that's
not a crime. I'm like, no one's calling him a
criminal. But it is this idea so much of
like it's it's not like the idea of drugging someone and fucking
like that being a thing or not knowing or if someone's blacked
out, because that's the thing. I was blacked out and I fucked
someone and I wanted to fuck. I had a crush on him so it was
like fine. We were like texting for a while
but then the next time we talked I was like Oh my God I was so
blacked out and he goes I wasn't.
And like I wanted it. He did nothing wrong but it
turned me off that he would want to fuck someone that's like
clearly blacked out. Like that sucks to me.
Like you don't even care what's like, it's scary.
It's like scary how for so many men, like women are kind of
irrelevant to the equation. Yeah, or they're kind of like,
what can I get away with? Did you watch?
Poor things. Yeah.
With Emma, yeah.
Remember, like the Madam at the Court House, 'cause Emma Stone
says something about like not being or being bored I.
Need to rewatch that movie. And Madam Woman goes, most of
them want that like they want you not to like like.
They like that. You're not.
Yeah, it's really scary. 'Cause they're like, I'm going
to get that regardless of what she has to.
Yeah, that's. Like old school separate's like
I need to go get or I'm going to fuck someone and it's like I
don't know, I just I don't I don't get not involving this the
other person. No.
Or anything 'cause there was just an SVU where this got like.
Oh wait, plug your podcast. That's messed up.
An SVU podcast. We research, we we recap an
episode of SVU, we talk about the true crime, and then we
interview an actor from the show.
Obviously the strike. Is it always based on our true
crime Those. I would say 75%.
Are Wow 80? Percent, yeah, and a lot of them
are multi crimes. And then the showrunner for a
decade, Neil Baer, he was a he was an actual doctor.
So a lot of the cases are based on medical journals and certain
like medical stuff. I don't.
Like that when doctors and lawyers become showrunners, get.
Out No 'cause he started with an ER no, he's.
He's love. He brought, he's the one that
brought Carol Burnett like. He's this like gay dude.
Who like brought his like childhood heroes and he would go
to these actresses and be like, you want an Emmy bitch?
And he would get these women Emmys.
Oh my God. Incredible.
We got Angela Lands Bear. I mean, we love Neil Bear.
Wow, have you interviewed him? Twice, twice.
We love. Yeah, Yeah.
But we interviewed some writer who was like, God with the
budgets, you know, you got everyone's perspective.
I'm like. Everything.
But we just covered an episode where like, his frat Bros
drugged a girl, but he didn't know that she was drugged and so
he thought that she just liked him and they fucked, right?
And so now they're in court and that's his narrative and the
lawyer to be like, but she had puke all over her right?
And she was really tired and couldn't stay up and he still
was it. It's like someone's covered in
puke and you're gonna you're. Fully cross eyed.
And you still end the in the case in this show, like he
thought was found not guilty 'cause he didn't know she was
drugged. But it's like, but she was
covered in puke. And I don't know how that's not
like a a a. Turn like, let's get you to bed
without me in it. It's weird, it's fucked, it's
really fucked, it's upsetting. Have you had any scary sexual
experiences where you're like, this guy might hurt or kill me
or or army? I've been attacked in the
street. Yeah, I've been attacked.
OK, yeah, it wasn't during sex, but I've been attacked on the
street and pushed it into my that building is.
So scary. I know and I call I do a bit
about this but I caught my building super on the ladder
spying on our bedroom window. Yes.
Yeah, funny. Funny, funny.
Funny. Funny, funny.
Funny. Because in New York, you must
see like a stray Dick. Every guy smile.
Yeah, there's like one guy who's always jerking off in flat iron.
I see him all the goddamn time. His Dick is always out.
But it's on the way to 1 of my Soul Cycle studios.
That's very evil. Yeah.
Sex important to you. Yeah, it is, but I don't have as
much as I should for sure. Wait, there's no should.
I don't know what that where that came from.
I just want more sex than I have.
OK OK OK OK. I'm just not getting laid in the
amounts that I want and that's always been my problem.
But I realize it's a me problem, not an everyone problem.
So I am in hypnotherapy. It's hypnotherapy is based
around the sex thing or. For me, no.
It's like to break your subconscious so everyone does
whatever they are struggling with.
Like, I don't know. But you're just focused on that.
It's yeah, it's focused on dating.
What are your Can you talk about what your issues with dating are
or? What I talked about, the
projection thing, I put too much on stuff.
It's I have a really hard time being like casual.
I don't know how to like banter in a casual way.
I get like intense. I get that.
I get it's why I I have success dating two guys at once these it
thins out my crazy. Well, 'cause I guess the
narrative I've always had is like, no one likes me.
And so like, it's like the world not true.
Like I'm out here and no one likes me.
And then I went, I was like corny and I was like, I need to
go out. So like I went out and then I
like I, I realize I'm the problem, but I'm not, I'm not
giving something to. And so like I had, I have to
like realize. It's tough, though.
Not for everybody. I see people really thriving or
when people go oh, dating apps I go some people are thriving
guys. Oh, oh, oh, for sure, for sure.
For sure, yeah. They don't work for me.
I don't know. I'm trying to be more open and I
don't know I want, but I want true love.
I used to be a lot more slutty I would say, but I don't really
want to fuck. Strangers.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'd hook up with strangers. I kind of really want to meet
someone that I'm in love. With yeah, so wait, when you say
you're horny and you want to be having more sex, is that like
you want to like go on a few dates with the guy, get to no
one and then like fall in love and have like Sunday morning sex
before the farmers market? I don't.
Want to go to the farmers market?
OK, OK, OK. I guess I would go, but I don't
cook. I don't.
I guess I'd buy a scone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can buy a scone. What's your OK?
OK, Say so you have this guy. Guy.
Guy girl. OK, OK.
The last person I hooked up with was a girl.
It was a fan. First time I did that.
I don't. Know how men do it all the time
because it's truly like we. Just talked about how men rape
whenever they get a chance, so a girl tossing her vagina on stage
definitely is easy for them to take.
It's so easy, but to me, like she just knew so much about me
and it made me really uncomfortable.
But I enjoyed it all. It was fine.
But I was just like, she was like quoting, like she just knew
stuff. Like, I bet she's going to
listen to this and. Like, was that me?
Yeah, for sure. First one, 'cause I would say
something, she's like, Oh yeah, you said that's on this or like,
I know this or like, I mean, she she straight up was like, I
drove 2 1/2 hours to see you. I have a crush on you, can I get
you a drink? And I was like, alright, I'm not
gonna fight that. That's great.
But then, yeah, I just took some cash.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, 'cause it's happened before, but
I was, I've not been do. You in this part of your life,
do you lean any which. Way more so my stand up is
really real, Yeah. And I just like love cum so
much. It's like it's a really, it's a
sad journey for me. Cum.
Yeah. 'Cause I think I like, like
fucking girl. I like dating girl.
I don't know, I'm actually it's 5050.
I don't I really am open to either and I get confused when
people ask me like what I'm looking for 'cause I'm like I
don't know, I just want to be. In love, looking for cum.
But I do like cum, so yeah, if I'm like with a girl, she needs
to let me get cummed on by a guy a few times a year.
Cum on face tits. I I want to see it.
I know. It's like I've earned it.
It's mine. I want to see it.
Like what the fuck this is? The because people want to like
come all the time inside. I'm like no, no, no, no.
No, I gotta. I want it.
This is the sudden though. Obviously getting a facial is
such a hot concept, you don't want to get it blasted into your
eyeball. No, to me it's like that.
Oh, so you're saying like aim for the the Mona Lisa smile?
I would rather but like, yeah, I the eye, the eye and hair, yeah.
Yeah, so like tits would be maybe.
That's the best. Well, I am.
That's like. And you're like, you're like.
And then it drips down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Wow.
Or it's yeah yeah, everywhere. I know like younger people I
think try to focus on having like sex that isn't orgasm
focused but like seeing a guy cum is like really fun.
Yeah. It's also like.
But I do think that it's the end of that report.
I mean, I get where Gen. Z is coming from for sure,
'cause when I first started dating girls, I did buy a book
about going down on women. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the, the like thesis of the book is it's for men who
premature ejaculate because it's like they're so anxious about
fuck. It's about like it's for men who
are like so anxious about fucking and then they come and
then they don't have good sexual experiences.
And so the whole point of this book is like, just make your
partner come first and then you can relax and just like kind of
fuck. So the first half is like this
theory for these premature ejaculators and then the
second-half is like instructions, right?
And so like the 'cause that's like what's up?
That's another back to heat arrival.
Like I also hated the discussion of like, well, he's not like
he's not like doing it. Oh, it's not realistic.
What about this? I go nothing, no heterosex
scenes ever realistic and no one is begging for it or demanding
it. It's like such a weird combo.
But that's like one thing that I hate in Sex and City and
everywhere. It's like if a guy can't get
hard, then like everything's off the table.
And that's what's like if Gen. Z is doing less attention to
penetrate if they or like that. I get that because it also sucks
in porn where it's just like, that's the end, but I don't
know. It's like something that bothers
me in TV and movies actually. Well, where she's like, ah, his
Dick couldn't get hard. I guess we'd also go home.
And I'm like, I don't know. There's a lot of other stuff.
Yeah, it that's like a weird thing for me.
I think it's so weird and sad that like a book needs to kind
of bait a guy into going down on a girl.
Like this is how going down on a woman.
Can actually help you. But this is the culture and this
is how it's taught. I do old jokes about this in my
Comedy Central power, but it's just like pleasure is not
taught, especially for girls. And it's like so much of like
holding back. And it's not for you.
And you give it to a partner and you give it to someone and it's
for these people. And even the discussion of love
is like, well, then you can be convinced because then if you
don't, if you don't want to fuck, but then someone goes,
well, I love you. Why aren't you fucking me?
You know, there's just like so much I did my senior paper in
college was about like, the concept of virginity and how
fake it is and not real and that it fucks, you know, priority
culture and what it does to young girls.
But yeah, it's like, well, so Chris Fleming was on Caleb
Heron's podcast and. I gotta listen to that.
Well, he's they've been on he's been on twice.
OK OK, but this is the second one and he talks about heated
reverie and Caleb is one of the guy he hasn't watched it and so
the. Interesting.
Conversation was Caleb's like, why do you think women love it?
And Chris said, I think, which is what's funny, he goes, I
think women's kink is time. And then he goes, you know, the
whole show is like four months, 8 weeks, 2 years.
So I'm like, that's funny, but I thought it was so real because
like so much of waiting for sex or dating is seen as like a
punishment to guys or holding off or like using it as a way to
like get something back or like you have to protect your
something. But like it's never been talked
about that Like what if that's horny for women?
And like that. I just thought Chris was like so
smart. Like that's never been discussed
like that. And I actually got to see him
this week and talk to him about it.
But I'm like, yeah, I don't know why a slow burn has never been
seen. Like, oh, that's like a turn on
versus a punishment for guys, you know, or something like
that. Is a turn on for girls.
To wait or like to have a few days or like what if the time is
the kink? Well, Chris said like.
Edging. For sure.
Or it's like building onto something.
Like he still wants me. He's still coming after me.
Yeah, and I don't. And I think if you want to fuck
immediately, that's fine. It's all fine, but it's all seen
as this guys of like if you fucked too early, this or that
or you have to hold off. But it's like, what if like
wanting to fucking not for a few weeks is like hot.
And I don't think that's ever been talked about.
And so I like that Chris said it in like a joking way, but I was
like, Oh my God, bro, you broke something open.
It's always seen from a very puritanical perspective where
it's like no, you can't not, but it's like no and even putting.
Girls responsible for that, it fucks them up.
It's like it's all, well, this is like nonsense.
Well. Wait, I have to pee?
Do you think I have time to pee and come back?
Yeah, we're at it. 45 minutes so we can.
No, I want to do more let. Me just yeah, yeah, yeah, I
actually, I'm going to bring it in there so we can hear your
stream. Well, I have my mic on so you.
Can. Oh my God, you're right.
Yeah, I just like look back and to me, my friends, a lot of us,
like I think a lot of young girls get fucked really poorly
for a really long time and it sucks.
But so I'm hoping Gen. Z is getting fucked better or
what not. I don't know.
I think they do a lot of parallel play from what I hear,
like jerking each other. I mean themselves off next to
each other. OK, it's something.
It's something but yeah, I do at least this for, but I don't
know. I I do feel like, yeah, it's
like part, I mean marital rape. It became illegal, I think in
9394. And we're trying to overturn
that. Yeah, so just the idea or you
know, love is blind. I catch this a lot when it's
like what's important in a relationship and guys are like,
what? What about physical or like sex?
Sex is important, Physical important.
It's like, no, like I think women want to get fucked all the
time too, but it's like, are you being a terrible partner and
then like thinking the contract as you still get to like is this
a fuck hole or should she want to fuck you?
And why is it so much about how you connect with her but nothing
that makes her want to fuck? It's like it sucks.
It really sucks. Hetero shit really sucked and I
sucks. And I also think it is a thing
of like, this is where I openness comes into play for me.
He's like, I don't know if I could have good sex with the
same person exclusively for five plus years.
I want strange, you know, I want to like.
At least now I think I do. I mean, some of my favorite
couples do fuck other people together and separately.
Yeah, I told you about this one. Yeah.
And I like hearing all about it and I like being in the room
while they're talking about it. Yeah, do.
Sex with Have you had Have you had many long term
relationships? Not that long, nothing over 2
years. OK.
Yeah, nothing over 1 How was the sex in those one was one got.
Yeah, fine, fine. OK One was a young relationship,
1 was great. I got emotionally fucked with
for sure. Oh.
No. I've only been in two serious
relationships. Do you have any fuck buddies
that you've kept on the roster for a?
Long time no. I wish I would love a roster.
Actually there was like one person that I was like sexting
video stuff with and stuff. Careful.
I don't have my tattoos and stuff.
OK, OK. Yeah.
You know, no face. Yeah.
OK.
OK, OK, OK. But sometimes I don't care you
know what 1 friend said to me? Because I showed her some videos
I sent out and she's like honestly if they ever leak at
least like. They're good you.
You you talk what you walk. What is it?
You walk the walk, Yeah. She's like, at least people will
know you don't just like talk shit.
And I was like, yeah, no, I try. But then I, I wonder if people
think it's like fake or weird or whatever that I'm like because
I'm, I don't want my tats because the tattoos are in the
giveaway. Yeah, I have like full like kind
of sleeves. But OK.
This one, I, I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to
do. I have no one in my roster.
No one's there, no one for sure. One guy just kept texting me,
but it was like, hey, hey, what's up?
So I sent him my unread text messages, which is like in the
two 90s. And I said, babe, you're going
to need to do more than hey, if you want anything.
And then I haven't heard anything.
You have. 290 unrown text messages, is that you?
Is that what? That's you.
That's 200. And I, I mean, I have zero.
That's that's where I'm coming. From yeah voicemails, hundreds,
10,000 plus emails yeah. No, because me and.
My manager will fight because I'll be like, nobody told me
this. Where is this?
What is that? One time I was learning lines
for a short little a different character.
I was learning lines for a different character and the
whole time reading the other girl being like, God, this bitch
has the best lines. Like fuck, this girl's the best.
And then when I talk to my manager, she goes that's.
You and I. Was like, oh, thank God, I'm
like trying to like cry. I'm gonna miss my brother.
Thank God I'm this dumb bitch instead.
And she goes, no, that was clearly in the e-mail.
So I'll be like, you never wrote this.
And she's like, did you check the e-mail?
And I'll go, absolutely. I didn't.
Yeah. I don't want.
I don't know. So you still are bold enough to
be like no one sent me that even though you don't know it's in
your phone. Oh, I will.
I will call my manager and I'll go what studio like I'll and
then it's like the doors in front of me.
Yeah, yeah. I get so panic.
I get so straight. I'm not going to an emergency.
I'm like going to a concert. I'm not really good like I'm.
I think I'm, I'm thinking I'm post concert.
I the last two I've been here, I've been like I can.
Oh, I'm happy to be the last person out.
I've been the last person out of Comiskey Field.
Me and Megan Galey, they were. We were taking photos with the
security. We were the last people at the
stadium. I'm not in a rush.
I'm not in a rush after a concert.
I want to sing in the parking lot.
I'll walk. I'll buy merch slowly.
I don't give a fuck. OK, maybe that's how you I I
would. Get me a hotel, I don't care.
I'll get home in three hours like I'm blissful after a
concert. I'm often leaving 2 songs early.
That to me as a deal breaker if I that would make me break up
with someone if they tried to make me miss even a second of
the encore. Did you not watch Oliveras?
No, I did. I did.
Oh, my. No, Of course, this is the thing
too. Taylor Swift, different thing.
I'm I'm there, I'm seeing. You like Travis?
Oh yeah, I do. I do too.
I do. I like him.
I'm so glad she she locked it out.
Obviously, Life of a showgirl was a bummer for me.
OK, but I like the first four songs.
Same and life of Elizabeth Taylor.
Elizabeth Taylor? Fat Ophelia.
Opalite's pretty solid. I love Opalite and I love Father
figure and then I don't love cancelled, but like, yeah, soul
cycling to it. It's good wish list doesn't
bother me. This is the thing.
It only bugs me because she pumped it up so.
I'll give you a Taylor Swift much.
OK, this is my Taylor Swift issue.
Reputation producers are back. She's in these showgirl.
I'm thinking it's gonna be bops. Like ready for it Two point.
Oh, someone said like she created a theme but the music
didn't fit the theme at all. No, knock on wood.
What? I wish she cared less about
notes, public opinion press, like what people think, how it
does the awards like so often she goes, Oh, you think TTPD was
too this? Well, I'm going to do this.
So you didn't like that. I'll write everything on speak
now if you don't. And it's like, fuck these
people, like just and we do get amazing art from her, but I
think she's so concerned with like, oh, they don't like me or
this and that or I need because I think showgirl was a or do you
think showgirl was ready before and TTPD was a surprise because
of the Matt Healy stuff or because in my head I'm like, why
was she so much as pop? It's pop, it's pop.
It's like, is it because everyone said TTPD was too long?
Because TTPD is one of my favorites.
I. Love, I love it, but Daddy, I
love him I love. That smallest man has ever
lived. I have the daddy I love him
hoodie. It's.
So bad I have the down bad crying of the gym sweatpants.
Down bad. So good.
Next time you're in New York, we should go to my Soul Cycle, my
Taylor Swift. I'll be there end of this month.
OK, we, I you do have to sign up as soon as it opens or you won't
be wait listed, but I could take care of that or you could pay to
sign up early wait. How?
When does the list go up? When does it open?
Mondays at noon and whatever time zone you're signing up for
and then. And is that for the week?
Oh yeah, and then my favorite Taylor Swift class is Saturdays
at 1:00 PM. So at Monday at noon, you go on
the app, you book the Saturday noon.
Oh, I don't just it's like this. Refresh, refresh, refresh.
You're fighting for your life, these girl.
We're intense. And then there's we do bingo
boards before class and like, we try to guess, dependent on the
theme, what song she's going to play.
We're sick, but I think you'd belong.
Oh, I would. I would thrive.
You would thrive.
We Yeah. So I love Taylor and I people
are always like, she gives a no sex appeal.
She's not sexy. I'm like, I think she fucks.
Oh, I've heard she's actually a very horny horny.
But you get that from the music if you do any music or the way
she vibes and how much she's like I think she but like she
doesn't give any sex appeal and like you're crazy.
I think she's stunning. I also could see her slapping
the shit out of Travis. Oh wow.
OK. Like she's riding him, choking
him out and just. Yes.
Laughing him as hard as she possibly can and he's like.
He can't feel that, but he doesn't feel that.
He's like, no, yeah, it's like, fine for him.
That's my favorite. Like when I see her wearing
heels and then he's still so much taller than her, it's like
awesome. I'm so happy because she does
seem like she got the. Jaw Wait, did you see the post
where it was like a photo of his kind of patchy hairy back and
then it said wow, Taylor is like straight straight.
What did you always think about like Gaylor stuff?
I didn't really engage with it. Yeah, I just, I don't believe
it. She's like I will use the word,
painfully straight girl. Yeah, I think her and Carly had
something. Really.
I do. So that's good.
Great. Yeah.
I remember Betty did that song trip people up.
I get I didn't really love that song, but then every time it's
at Soul Cycle I'm like, I love Betty so.
Much can you do you think you could name your top five?
Well, my number one song is Willow Easy.
I love Willow. That's so fascinating to me.
Tis the damn season from that. Well, I love Marjorie, but I've
never put, you know, I cry so I can't.
Oh tear, my tears ricochet. It's fun.
So this Saturday's Soul Cycle is red verse debut.
Oh, and you know what I need before I'm laid to rest is
Reputation Vault tracks. I I have a good idea for a debut
a fair. If if it's not fair, she doesn't
really. Give it to us when we deserve
it. But.
We're scratching at her door. It's the second pandemic.
We're like. No, my idea.
Do you remember MTV Unplugged? Yeah, of course.
I think she should do that for debut.
Oh, that. 'D be great.
A stripped down country kind of thing with her voice now.
Like, I would love that. Yeah.
In a small, small space with, just like us, you.
And I. I mean, she loves SVU, you know,
so I always wonder if she like anyone's ever told her about our
podcast. There's a world in which she's
senior stand up. I do.
I mean, I talk about Taylor Swift in my special and I and I
and my, I mean, I talk about Miley Cyrus in my first comedy
album. Like I'm really trying to get.
I did meet Miley once. She seems like a down.
Girl. Yeah, she was getting a tattoo
on her foot in Pete Davidson's green room at SNL, and I was on
the couch. Then it was a Chris.
I'm friendly with Pete Davidson. He'll call me Liza.
Like, I don't think he is. Like, what?
But I was in King of Staten Island.
I'm the waitress. And then, Oh my God.
So we worked and like, I met him.
Yes, I've known him, but Chris Red's my friend, like I would
say like from Chicago friend and he made that.
They got matching tattoos with Miley.
And so Chris was like awesome. And he goes, listen, we're going
to do good nights. I'm going to come grab you.
We're going to run up. We're going to like get to
fucking pizza room. We're going to be with Miley and
like he made that happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then when Pete introduced me to Miley, he called me Liza, so
then she did as well. But it's fine.
That totally fine I I'd change it I'd.
Be like, and then I wanna meet Taylor.
My yeah, I would meet. I think I'd be fine.
This is what I feel when I'm if I would meet Taylor, I'd be
like, I'm obviously a fan, but who isn't?
Like, can I be a fan and not pretend that I'm not?
And then also be normal and have a conversation?
I don't know her. I don't know if she would have
much interest in someone who didn't enjoy her music.
Yeah, 'cause she loves her music.
I love when she's drunk in the back.
Like that's what I love with Travis.
Like her, like I met Coachella last year and like out and
drinking and partying. Like I just love it.
It's. Good stuff.
I I'll always treat myself to a tailor compilation.
She's funny. Well, I have a tough time with
that. Wait, really?
Yeah, yeah. I really don't like when, like
Sue, you're not, you're not funny.
There's no I don't. Think she's trying to be funny,
I think. She's no, she talks too.
I'm like, you're not funny when people are like, she's
hysterical. I'm like, like, no, I'm a like
she's not hysterical. Have you seen all the
compilations I have? OK, I've I've Yes.
What do you have you seen them I.
Think she's clever? She's doing like the wedding
seating with Ellen and she's like, what about these people?
She's like, some people won't get invited.
That's life. She's fun.
I like her. But this Ryan Reynolds going,
she's the most hysterical. She's the funniest woman I've
ever met. I go.
You got to be kidding me. There's no way, no one.
OK? The more insular you are in a
society, the less perspective you have.
Because no one's actually being themselves around you.
Yes, so she's the center. Of course, everyone's giggling
up a storm like I, I just, you can't trust super hot.
You're right, beautiful people, to be funny because people are
laughing because they want to have sex with them and be around
them because they're magnetic. And so like, yeah, do you have
any? Celebrity men that you want to
actually get railed by, Any guys that you really drool over.
Winston Duke. I don't know that Mbaku.
He was. He's in US.
He's the dad in US. Oh, OK.
Yeah, I'd love. I would love.
Wait. Has he been in like much since
us? No, maybe.
Yeah, I should find him. He might be.
He might be fucking waiting for that DM.
I'd be like Tom Hardy, never seen one of his movies but like
a dream. So hot, so hot.
Tom Hardy Venom. No, he's Bane.
Oh, OK, but he, I think that's Venom too.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Venom's actually kind of funny, hate to say it.
OK, I crushes. I mean, I would love to have sex
with Miley Cyrus. Oh, yeah, she'd be a good time.
And Brianna, she'd be laughing. There'd be, like, funny moments.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brianna, of course.
Who am I missing people? You wait, would you ever I?
I feel like people are hot all the time, everywhere.
No, Am I, like I do this all the time with like people like what
are you watching right now? And I like Bob's Burgers, but I
don't know what else. Yeah.
What about would you have you? Oh, Christopher Maloney, but
more Stabler. He would have to be Stabler.
Is he not stable? No Stabler, Elliot Stabler, Oh.
I'm like, Oh my God, I didn't know he was crazy.
No. I want it would need to be in
the precinct sure, like I would need a whole kind of thing going
on. OK, a vignette.
Are there any male comics? Who's the hottest male comic?
I can't. It's.
Changed. Oh, Chinnadu.
Oh yeah. He's stunning to me.
I'm trying to think Matt Broussard used to be like, to me
very, like, super fucking hot. Yeah.
But then again, once you've talked to a a male comic for
like 2 1/2 minutes, she's like, Oh no, never mind.
You know who's a hottie right now?
I but Antonio Kareem. Oh yeah, and he has a master's
from University of Chicago. Oh, Emil's hot too.
He's really pretty. He just unfortunately looks very
he. He reminds me of my nephews who
are in their 20s. Sure.
He is just so young, sure, and it's hard for me to see him as a
fair any kind of sexual. So fairway.
That's another thing with comment, like with men that fuck
really young people. I'm like when I perform in
colleges, these people look so young to me.
And when guys were like, I couldn't tell, I'm like, no, I
think it's like. It's scary.
I'm like, what time is your mom picking you up from this show?
Yeah, children. Who's tatted?
Who has a beard? Like who is hot out there?
Who's doing music? Tatted and a.
Who does sports? I like sports guys, I think.
Oh, I mean honestly, I've put this out to the Universal
multiple times. A professional rugby player I
would think I could have a happy life with.
OK. And he's schedules.
What's our schedules? What are you talking about?
If anyone would put up with a comedian schedule, they're a St.
They're a St. Nights and weekends.
You were when cell phones were nights and weekends.
Are you old enough? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm 38, OK. Yeah.
I need to be married by 40. Not that I care about time.
I just. I'm like, you're ready.
Are you Sex in the City? Yeah.
Of. Course, like Charlotte's like
I've been dating since I was 15. Like where?
Where is he? Yeah, or.
She or or she or No, I can't do that.
I'm going to fuck it up. I've been friends with non
binary people for years and I fuck it up constantly.
Yeah, it's just like, not the thing.
No, that's fair. I'm going to fuck it up as long
as they're OK if they find that endearing and not like I hate
crime. Have you ever tried to describe
a non binary person? Like if you ever.
Want to hear the worst thing? So again I'm bringing up Caleb's
podcast. I really need to get a life.
So meat brick was on it. Molly meat brick and they're
talking about like how do you do praise for non binary?
And then they were like. Good day.
Good day, like being funny and then they're like good dude.
And then they started like dude, dude and this is vulnerable.
I guess this is a sex podcast that I'll I'll give it to you.
I did have a sexual partner once that was like, Hey, can you stop
saying dude while we fuck? And I had no idea, but I kept I
guess I was saying dude, a lot it.
Was a girl or a boy it? Was a girl.
Oh yeah. I was like, I had no idea and
this is like a humiliating moment for me, but I texted
Molly, dude. And they?
Were like, that's crazy. And I told Ally Makovsky this
week and she was like, that's crazy.
I go no, I know I don't. I don't.
I wasn't thinking about it blackout, but yeah, I guess I
said dude a lot. And that's not even my culture.
You know, I'm from the Midwest. I say dude, but I adopted it
intentionally 20 years ago dude. I think I did.
Too dude. I say dude a lot.
I'm like mad that I can't come up with more celebrities than I
want to have sex with 'cause I feel like I'm always like, out
there thirsting into the world. No, totally God for a while.
Liam Hemsworth is at the top of my list.
Oh my God this is the best. I'm like at CLEAR, TSA
Pre-check, whatever, and the 2 girls are losing their minds
with the guy behind me and I'm looking at him.
I can't figure it out. I'm looking, I'm looking and
finally he leaves. I go, who's that?
You guys were so excited. They go, that's taken.
I go, that's not Liam Neeson. They go, it's Liam Neeson.
I go, honey, that's about Liam Neeson.
It was Gerard Butler. Exact same movie.
It's like exact same movies. Oh my God, you know who followed
me on Instagram this week? The jazz man from Sex and the
City. Oh my God, yeah.
Was that a highlight or did you like Catch?
Those they highlighted. That's the only chance I have of
seeing someone like. But they know who to highlight,
they know who to highlight, and they knew I would be excited
about Jazz Mad because the hot child and the city guy, we
follow each other too. That's so funny, yeah.
The The Blondie. We have to get you.
I know you have to get me. I'm meeting a famous dog.
I'm meeting a viral dog and making content for a thing I've
been for. This is a a night, a silly life.
That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, I'm about to meet a
cool. Dog, tell the Tower Bottoms
where to find loving for you. And you're driving me, right?
Yeah, I'm getting a ride in love.
Cute. Isn't it?
The Tower Bottoms. Yeah, he is.
It's fans or tower. Oh, my God, I'm gonna see Alyssa
today. Yeah.
Yeah, we're gonna make it work. Is.
She gonna go to your your show tonight.
No, my show's not until 9:45. I was 715.
And then after this dog, I'm gonna try to meet up with her.
OK, great. Yeah, hopefully.
She's on the rear eye. Yeah, that's why.
Yeah. Good.
It's gonna happen. We have a mutual night owl on
Netflix, Glitter cheese on the Internet.
I'm on the road. I'm actually going to be in P
town performing in Splash Week, so if you would like to date me,
I will be there. Fuck yeah.
Yeah, I'm in between splash week and family week.
OK, I don't know if. Sounds like a good time.
Yeah, I've never been. Me neither.
You haven't? No, I'm excited.
I'm gonna go. I haven't been there on Fire
Island. I need to make them both.
Fire Island seems. Daunting.
Yeah. Yeah, it does.
Because I asked Joel Kim after the movie came out, I go, do you
think it's going to like pick up and now all these new people are
going to go to Fire Island? He goes, no, it's so hard to get
there. It's so hard to.
Get there and like it's limited capacity.
Wait, remember Devin? In.
He's an SVU, he's IAB. But like, whatever, never mind.
I'm not gonna give anyone's I'm gonna tell you later.
OK, great. Lisa Drager, thank you so much.
But I would fuck him too. Thank God we have that on record
and you'll next time keep sucking and fucking.
But but but Hello Tower Bottoms. It's me, your host, Zach Newry
Towers. Thank you so much for listening
to good side Pod. If you haven't already, give it
a five star rating. Leave a review, share it with a
friend, get the word out. I love you so much.
And until next time, keep sucking and bucking.