Hello everyone and welcome back to People Do Want to Know
Podcast. This is a solo episode and we
have a lot to catch up on if you're watching this.
I am still in Minnesota visiting my parents so hence the
different layout, but I'm so excited to chat with you.
First things first, Goi, you will enjoy our season dedicated
to our wonderful allies is back. Exactly a year ago I launched
the season and I was so proud to be a trendsetter in the Jewish
podcasting space to welcome allies on the show.
Some of the people we spoke to were Chris Karznan, the Babka
King, Leo Vega, husband and manager of Modi, Rosenfeld,
Jonathan Al Hori, that Gegua guy, and two Palestinian
activists, Ahmed Fuad Al Khatib and Hamza Haidi.
Of everything I've ever done with the show, I think this
season had the most profound impact on me.
Just a few weeks ago, Moshe Davis and I talked about how
when you insulate and surround yourself in Jewish life, you
don't really feel anti-Semitism that much.
That's why when you go to talk to Orthodox folks out in
Brooklyn, many of them will say that they're not that concerned
about anti-Semitism. And in some weird self
preservation Y way, that's what I had done with People You want
to Know. I used the show as a way to
insulate myself from the outside world.
The show allowed me to engage with Jews regularly.
My free time was living, breathing the show.
My social life turned into exclusively Jewish events and I
always had an excuse to attend them because it was all for the
benefit of people you want to know.
It was only the go you will enjoy season that woke me up and
reminded me that actually building allies is equally, if
not more important than what I was doing regularly to support
the Jewish community. I've spent years sitting in the
plumbing of Jewish life, especially New York City Jewish
life. I'd like to think I have a
thoughtful, pragmatic, informed point of view on the reality for
our community. So why not engage with allies
and help represent our people in a positive way?
And clearly the season resonated with a lot of you because in
some sense, it outperformed a lot of the regular episodes that
I had done at the time. I'm so happy to bring it back
and I really want to hear your feedback.
I'm not spoiling our guests this year, but they are people you
know and love. However, our first episode next
week I will spoil. I am so excited about it and
you've already seen me post about on Instagram.
It's with Andy Buckley from the Office.
It still feels surreal. The Office is one of my favorite
shows of all time. It is very formative to my view
of comedy and storytelling. It's a masterpiece.
Having the chance to interview Andy, who is not only an
incredible ally, but raising a proud Jewish family with his
Jewish wife is just incredible. It's a dream come true moment
for me in the show. Aside from this little
announcement, I have a couple of things on the back burner I
wanted to discuss with you since we're already here.
I have done maybe Max three to four solo episodes on the show
and I've recorded over 150. I get feedback consistently that
people want to hear more from me, so I'm taking the
opportunity. Please tell me what you think.
We'll talk about what I'm making of our Jinste influencer space.
I am going to read you a letter to the editor from one of my
listeners and some interesting family history I dug up from my
paternal grandfather's side. I do have to say that the solo
episode I did about Ireland and Scotland called Places You Don't
Want to Go was one of my favorite episodes ever.
I had so much fun doing the research for that and crafting
the storyline. Anyway, one of the the things I
wanted to tell you about is my take on the gold rush of
influencers. We've raised this topic on the
show on my Instagram a lot, but I wanted to discuss it here in
greater detail. The influencer content creator
industry has definitely matured. Today everyone has over 10,000
followers, everyone has regular content.
The market is very very saturated and engagement online
is dropping as content volume increases.
So how I put it is that the easy money era is over, but the total
amount of money has increased. The pie has grown overall, if
that makes sense. The influencer marketing
industry is projected to hit 32 billion globally this year.
Marketers plan to use more influencers, not less.
With that in mind, we're seeing kind of a few different dynamics
emerge. The first problem is that
influencers are trying to solve for dropping engagement.
I'd like to make the claim that we're seeing so many influencers
pivoting into politics as a solve for this dropping
engagement. Engagement on Instagram and
TikTok is retained through anger and and political messaging is
very effective at evoking that emotion.
So influencers are pivoting to that kind of content to maintain
the engagement. I don't think I'm actually
saying anything groundbreaking here or that would surprise you,
but it's really a shame and it leaves the solution to the
problem in our hands as consumers.
It means that we have to stop engaging with rage content and
angry content, and we have to take ourselves out of the cycle.
Truthfully, I I don't want to see Hollywood celebrities on the
red carpet sharing their political leanings.
When I had my friend Beatrice Levine on the show, she talked
about how art and museums are inherently political.
I agree, but that doesn't mean they're free from consequences.
If we stop tolerating these politics being forced upon us,
artists will have no incentive to keep going and will revert to
making good art. So that's my rant on that.
The next thing I wanted to discuss with you is really the
inside baseball of my podcasting slash people.
Do you want to know these last few months kind of related to
this? We talked about the gold rush of
influencers being over, but it's really crazy how this is
manifesting in our Jewish activist and influencer
community. People are scrambling to stay
relevant. Influencers are starting to look
desperate and I think it comes from them not being able to
evolve. October 7th birthed a new set of
problems that our Jewish community needed influencers
for. Now the problem space has
changed and content creators are not really meeting the moment.
The worst part of it is seeing the hubris with which certain
creators have approached the situation, refusing to accept
that the landscape has changed. They want to double down on
failed tactics. They think that another
newsletter, another podcast, another conference that is all
going to change the situation. There's also a bit of a hubris
about not wanting to work through existing systems and
wanting to start your own thing so that your name can be on it.
To be honest, a lot of what I do adjacent to the show, you guys
don't even see from me. I take meetings with Jewish
nonprofits and I really try to help them from within.
They have the funding, they have the people, and if I'm seeing a
problem, why wouldn't I work with a place that has all of the
infrastructure set up already to try to fix it?
Wouldn't it be a lot more productive and faster to do
that? The podcast is a forum where you
and I refine our thinking and learn new things every week with
the hope that we can then act on them elsewhere.
The show is really meant to be just the tip of the iceberg.
I think we're going to see a few things in the coming months.
Some influencers will pivot and make non Jewish content that can
be mommy influencers, lifestyle, fashion, politics.
Some influencers will just drop off and some will double down.
Come up with more ideas, more podcasts, more conferences that
go nowhere. And then these people will
resent that their work isn't getting the recognition that
they think it deserves. This last bucket is the most
dangerous one to me because it's driven by ego.
Not by a care for you or me, their audience, their supporter,
but by pure ego. It's just something to think
about. What I'll add is that I
personally feel kind of removed from all of these buckets.
I interview people in these buckets.
I view myself more of like a journalist and podcaster than I
do a creator. I'm here to ask the questions
and to learn what's happening from within.
I'm not aspiring to be an influencer.
Also, if we're being real, I'm a lot smaller than some of these
creators. But I'll tell you, being the
underdog has a massive advantage.
Floor Hassan Nahum discussed this when talking about women in
the workplace, and I think it applies to underdogs too.
They never see you coming. When people have no expectations
for you, they think you're too small or maybe you're incapable.
They never expect you to do something great.
And when it comes to the audience, it's an opportunity to
pleasantly surprise, and that's always a good position to be in.
I view podcasting and what I do like a creative pursuit.
And creative pursuits require authenticity that a lot of
influencers might not know how to give.
And being authentic doesn't mean like airing out all your dirty
laundry in the public eye. It's speaking from your truth,
not about your truth, if that makes sense.
The other inside baseball thing here is you got to trust your
gut about who you think is a gimmick and who isn't.
It all becomes apparent in due time.
OK, what else do I have for you? I have a letter from a listener
that I want to read you. This is a letter from someone I
love very much and whose judgement I really value on most
things Jewish life related. We will call her June.
Last time we spoke, June brought up to me that she felt that
whenever intermarriage was raised on the podcast, no one
really took it all the way, quote UN quote.
And I wonder what she meant by that.
June said that no one has really driven the point home of how
much of an urgent problem intermarriage is and why it is
our responsibility to make it a priority and something to fix.
Now when June is using the word hour, she means specifically
single people looking for a partner and parents raising
single people looking for a partner.
From her point of view, and I would agree here, there's really
no value in shaming already partner people and often times
conversations around intermarriage focus there.
It's also unlikely that already partner people will suddenly
dump their partners and look for a Jew.
Of course it's possible, but again, not very likely.
Ironically, June herself was in that spot when she made the
decision that marrying a Jew was her number one priority, and
she's not even Orthodox or anything like that.
Now, I don't want to speak for June, but I gather that once she
understood the magnitude of the problem, she felt there wasn't a
defensible way to marry non Jew, That there wasn't a
justification for how she wasn't personally responsible for the
solution. Now I'm going to read you the
letter she wrote. It's an invitation to single
people hearing this to make marrying Jews a #1 priority.
Letter to the editor the Jewish demographic crisis were too
scared to talk about. Dear Margarita, Hello from a
longtime listener and first time caller.
Your podcast has covered so many critical topics and stories
across the Jewish world, from Jewish gangsters to parenting
children with special needs. But across the Jewish media
space, there's a topic we need to have an honest conversation
about but have been sweeping under the rug.
Let me paint a picture for you with data.
As of 2023, there are 15.7 million Jews around the world,
still roughly 1,000,000 fewer than the pre Holocaust global
Jewish population of 16.6 million. 6.3 million, just under
half of the global Jewish population, live in the United
States now, according to Pew Research.
Among Jews who got married before 19 eighty, 18% were
married to a non Jewish spouse. Among Jews who got married
between 1990 and 1999, the number of Jews marrying a non
Jewish spouse rose to 37%. And among Jews who got married
between 2010 and 2020, sixty, 1% married a spouse that isn't
Jewish. According to that same research,
children raised by only one Jewish parent are less than half
as likely to identify as Jewish than those who were raised by
two Jewish parents, with only 40% maintaining a Jewish
identity, compared to 90% of those raised by two Jewish
parents. In the new Pew Research survey.
Among married Jewish respondents who have one Jewish parent, 82%
went and intermarried, compared to only 34% of those with two
Jewish parents. Sit with this for a minute. 60%
of American Jews getting married today are marrying out.
Their kids are only 40% likely to identify as Jewish and 82%
likely to marry out themselves, and this represents the
population of just under half of All World Jewelry.
Let's get a few things out of the way.
While they are statistically less likely to do so, there are
many Jews from interfaith households who maintain a strong
and passionate Jewish identity. None of this should be construed
as encouraging hostility to Jews and interfaith marriages.
They and their families should certainly be welcomed with open
arms in any community setting. However, we need to be honest
about the demographic Cliff we are looking at here.
The math is unforgiving. Intermarriage at current rates
produces children who are overwhelmingly less likely to
identify Jewishly, observe Jewish practice, or raise Jewish
grandchildren. A smaller Jewish population in
the next generation only compounds this issue.
Fewer Jews means fewer potential partners, making it even harder
for the next generation to find each other.
Synagogue struggling to find a minion.
Local Jewish institutions closing.
The national trend pretends this is in Jewish communities across
America. In just a few generations, the
current trend of extremely high rates of intermarriage among
American Jews threatens to collapse the amount of people
around the world who identifies Jewish.
We are already seeing the evidence of this.
According to Pew, there are 1.9 million Americans who have at
least one Jewish parent or a Jewish upbringing but identify
with another religion, for example, Christianity.
The Jewish community needs a serious cultural shift, one that
helps single Jews understand the importance of finding a Jewish
partner and that devotes real communal resources towards
making that happen. Some people are inherently
uncomfortable with anything that points out the demographic risks
of intermarriage because they falsely associated with
exclusion or bigotry. The issue of religious
continuity is openly discussed in many communities.
For example, American Mormons and American Muslims take great
care to marry one of their same religion, maintaining rates of
85% and 87%, respectively. Renewing cultural emphasis on
marrying Jewish isn't about excluding others, but about the
dire need to preserve ourselves and existential necessity after
centuries of genocide that have demolished the global Jewish
population. Preserving minority cultures who
face serious threats to their continuity because of the
impacts of genocide cannot be equated to chauvinism or
bigotry. The Jewish people have survived
Pharaohs, inquisitions, pogroms, and genocide not by accident,
but through a choice made by our ancestors.
In every generation to find a Jewish partner and build a
Jewish Home, we are faced with that same choice today.
If you are single, prioritize finding a Jewish partner.
Use Jewish dating apps or hinges free religion filter.
Go to Jewish events where you could meet someone and let
others in the community know you're looking so that they can
set you up if they know there's a possible match.
If you are not single, think of the Jewish singles in your life
and ask. Maybe there's a potential
romantic connection you can facilitate.
The Jewish tradition of the Shahan exists for a reason, and
it's something we need to revitalize.
And if you are involved in Jewish organizations, start a
real conversation within your organization about how we can
repurpose resources to creating Jewish couples.
The data shows us what's coming if nothing changes.
The question is whether we care enough to do something about it
before the math becomes irreversible.
Oof. OK so that's the letter.
I don't even think June was as direct as I know she could have
been. But she said that she didn't
want the delivery to dissuade people from understanding the
issue and internalizing it. She didn't want people to tune
out before they heard her. What do you think?
Please feel free to DM me or comment with your thoughts.
I am really interested to get the feedback on this.
I want to move us on to something else completely, which
is some interesting family history I dug up from my
paternal grandparents. As a refresher, I have three
Jewish grandparents and one non Jewish grandfather.
He's Ukrainian. My paternal grandparents are
interesting because they don't do anything Jewish.
Like they wouldn't be able to tell you basic things about
Judaism, but their whole demeanor and vibe is beyond
Jewish. It's honestly comical.
For those who have seen the show Everybody Loves Raymond with the
tall bald grandfather and the tiny blonde grandmother, that's
exactly what my grandparents look like.
My grandma's father or my great grandfather was a die hard
communist and held very important positions in the
Communist Party. His wife Rita is who I was named
after my whole life. I assumed that her full name was
Margarita because typically Rita's are short for margaritas
and it turns out that this is not the case.
She was a Riva who became a Rita to sound less Jewish.
So I'm actually the first Margarita in my family.
When it comes to Jewish heritage, my paternal
grandmother's side doesn't have much to report.
They were communists. They were super assimilated to
the point that they all changed their names to sound less
Jewish. My paternal grandfather's side,
on the other hand, was a lot less assimilated.
It seems like my grandpa told me that his grandfather Mordechai
or Motel was married to Amalca and they spoke basically only in
Yiddish and didn't really understand Russian at all.
My grandpa's family lived in the city, and now there's going to
be a mouthful near Nepra Petrovsk that was designated for
Jews. They lived on the ground floor
of A2 story building with the landlord above them.
That building was close to a river, and every spring he told
me that the river would flood and it would flood their entire
apartment, basically up to the ceiling.
They'd have to move out and move back in until finally they just
found a new place and left that building altogether.
Back then, they had an outhouse for a bathroom that was a wooden
toilet and they'd have to get water from the well.
And this is my grandfather's childhood.
He's 87 this year. He's really not that old.
To contrast this, my grandmother, who's 84, she grew
up in a wealthy communist family where they had not only multiple
bathrooms in the house, but also staff.
She said she was completely shocked when she went to see the
place where my grandfather grew up.
When they started dating. My grandpa told me that his
grandma Malka was very smart and that everyone in town would come
to her to get her advice on everything.
She also ran the house. I asked him if they kept kosher
or identified as very Jewish and he told me no.
I then asked him like how do you know and he said that the
recipes that were passed down from Malka to the next
generation, they would include pork and traif.
My grandpa also shared that when they walked down the street with
his grandma and her friends, they'd speak in Yiddish and he'd
run away from embarrassment. He said to me, I was embarrassed
of my nationality. I was curious.
So I asked him how did you know that there was something to be
embarrassed of? And he told me that he knew
because he was severely bullied at school for being Jewish.
My family doesn't have anyone who was in the concentration
camps in World War 2. Either my relatives died or were
killed during the Holocaust, or they served for the Soviet Army
or were evacuated away. On my paternal grandfather's
side, no one served in World War 2 for the Soviet Union at all.
And I was trying to figure out how it was possible because back
then there were definitely men in the family of serving age.
Basically, on both sides of my grandfather's family, the men
worked for warehouses or factory where they made military
equipment, artillery supplies. If you held one of those jobs,
you were not sent to the front lines because you were
responsible for equipping the front lines.
That's how none of the men on my paternal grandfather's side
ended up having to serve in World War 2.
Interestingly, both my grandma and grandpa were die hard
communist growing up and I was trying to understand how this
came about. From my grandma's side because
she lived a more luxurious and comfortable life.
She said she didn't even know what was really happening.
She didn't think there was anything bad about communism
because the communism she experienced was great.
It was truly just ignorance. It also didn't help that her
father was such a die hard believer, she wasn't really
exposed to an alternative. On my grandpa's side, the family
was split on communism. My grandpa and his father had
very strong disagreements. My great grandfather Benjamin,
He used to say Stalin is worse than Hitler and my grandfather
would actually argue with him over this.
My grandpa said to me. Only later did I realize how
forward thinking Benjamin was. I really believed in it all
without questioning. For my grandfather.
I think it definitely stemmed more from fear and a desire to
be accepted. He has numerous stories of him
being bullied and beaten not only as a child, but even
bullied and harassed as an adult for being Jewish.
My grandfather actually took my grandma's last name, Lyodov, so
that they didn't have to use his Jewish last name, Ghazunterman.
Talking to my grandparents made me curious what my dad, their
son, thought about this. My dad said that my grandfather
was probably so influenced to support communism because he had
spent his formative years living with my grandmother and her
family, who were diehard communists.
I asked my dad then how he personally knew that communism
was bad. My dad said that growing up, he
didn't think it was bad at all. And in fact, he said that when
he was a kid he used to feel sorry, he said, for black people
who had to live in horrible America, and how grateful and
privileged he felt as a child to live in the Soviet Union.
Things change for my father when he learned the story of Pavlik
Morozov. This story was made of
propaganda by the Soviet Union, where Pavlik was a 13 year old
boy who was considered a hero and a martyr.
In the story, the 13 year old boy reports his own father to
the authorities for alleged espionage against the Soviet
Union. According to the story, or this
legend if you will, after snitching on his own family, his
family killed him and the Soviet Union used this to paint Pavlik
as a total hero because apparently nothing was more
important than the Soviet Union and the authorities.
Reading the story, my dad felt something was wrong.
And then he said and when you question one thing, you start to
question everything. And that's how I was able to
change my mind. It really made me wonder what it
takes to become the type of person who will know to think
for themselves and to question. I think it's certainly a
combination of nature and nurture.
It's going to be up to us to raise our children in a way
where they intuitively know to challenge.
When my brother got into arguments with pro Palestinian
students on his campus, he used to say jokingly, please don't
deprive yourself of the gift of thought.
And it's the same here. It's really our obligation to
enable the gift of thought for the next generation.
Honestly, I never know how to end these solo episodes because
I usually don't do solo episodes, but I hope you enjoyed
this one and I'd love your feedback.
Stay tuned for the launch of GOI.
You will enjoy season next week. Talk to you later.
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