1 00:00:15,060 --> 00:00:17,780 Hello everyone and welcome back to People Do Want to Know 2 00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:21,540 Podcast. This is a solo episode and we 3 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:24,740 have a lot to catch up on if you're watching this. 4 00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:28,580 I am still in Minnesota visiting my parents so hence the 5 00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:31,660 different layout, but I'm so excited to chat with you. 6 00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:36,360 First things first, Goi, you will enjoy our season dedicated 7 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,960 to our wonderful allies is back. Exactly a year ago I launched 8 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,280 the season and I was so proud to be a trendsetter in the Jewish 9 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,160 podcasting space to welcome allies on the show. 10 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,400 Some of the people we spoke to were Chris Karznan, the Babka 11 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,960 King, Leo Vega, husband and manager of Modi, Rosenfeld, 12 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,880 Jonathan Al Hori, that Gegua guy, and two Palestinian 13 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,320 activists, Ahmed Fuad Al Khatib and Hamza Haidi. 14 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,440 Of everything I've ever done with the show, I think this 15 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,800 season had the most profound impact on me. 16 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,320 Just a few weeks ago, Moshe Davis and I talked about how 17 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,080 when you insulate and surround yourself in Jewish life, you 18 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,080 don't really feel anti-Semitism that much. 19 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,480 That's why when you go to talk to Orthodox folks out in 20 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,560 Brooklyn, many of them will say that they're not that concerned 21 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:26,000 about anti-Semitism. And in some weird self 22 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:30,040 preservation Y way, that's what I had done with People You want 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,720 to Know. I used the show as a way to 24 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,120 insulate myself from the outside world. 25 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,520 The show allowed me to engage with Jews regularly. 26 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,640 My free time was living, breathing the show. 27 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:45,680 My social life turned into exclusively Jewish events and I 28 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,160 always had an excuse to attend them because it was all for the 29 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,560 benefit of people you want to know. 30 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,680 It was only the go you will enjoy season that woke me up and 31 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,920 reminded me that actually building allies is equally, if 32 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,000 not more important than what I was doing regularly to support 33 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,240 the Jewish community. I've spent years sitting in the 34 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,840 plumbing of Jewish life, especially New York City Jewish 35 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,680 life. I'd like to think I have a 36 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,720 thoughtful, pragmatic, informed point of view on the reality for 37 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,280 our community. So why not engage with allies 38 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,320 and help represent our people in a positive way? 39 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,440 And clearly the season resonated with a lot of you because in 40 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,880 some sense, it outperformed a lot of the regular episodes that 41 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,520 I had done at the time. I'm so happy to bring it back 42 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,120 and I really want to hear your feedback. 43 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,760 I'm not spoiling our guests this year, but they are people you 44 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,240 know and love. However, our first episode next 45 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,320 week I will spoil. I am so excited about it and 46 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,640 you've already seen me post about on Instagram. 47 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,640 It's with Andy Buckley from the Office. 48 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,240 It still feels surreal. The Office is one of my favorite 49 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:54,200 shows of all time. It is very formative to my view 50 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,640 of comedy and storytelling. It's a masterpiece. 51 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,000 Having the chance to interview Andy, who is not only an 52 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,560 incredible ally, but raising a proud Jewish family with his 53 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,720 Jewish wife is just incredible. It's a dream come true moment 54 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,920 for me in the show. Aside from this little 55 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,720 announcement, I have a couple of things on the back burner I 56 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,880 wanted to discuss with you since we're already here. 57 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:19,160 I have done maybe Max three to four solo episodes on the show 58 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:23,360 and I've recorded over 150. I get feedback consistently that 59 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,960 people want to hear more from me, so I'm taking the 60 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,320 opportunity. Please tell me what you think. 61 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,800 We'll talk about what I'm making of our Jinste influencer space. 62 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,040 I am going to read you a letter to the editor from one of my 63 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:41,360 listeners and some interesting family history I dug up from my 64 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,320 paternal grandfather's side. I do have to say that the solo 65 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,200 episode I did about Ireland and Scotland called Places You Don't 66 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,720 Want to Go was one of my favorite episodes ever. 67 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,280 I had so much fun doing the research for that and crafting 68 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,480 the storyline. Anyway, one of the the things I 69 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,840 wanted to tell you about is my take on the gold rush of 70 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,040 influencers. We've raised this topic on the 71 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,720 show on my Instagram a lot, but I wanted to discuss it here in 72 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,320 greater detail. The influencer content creator 73 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:13,760 industry has definitely matured. Today everyone has over 10,000 74 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,000 followers, everyone has regular content. 75 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,680 The market is very very saturated and engagement online 76 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,400 is dropping as content volume increases. 77 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:28,400 So how I put it is that the easy money era is over, but the total 78 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,600 amount of money has increased. The pie has grown overall, if 79 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,760 that makes sense. The influencer marketing 80 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,600 industry is projected to hit 32 billion globally this year. 81 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,280 Marketers plan to use more influencers, not less. 82 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,560 With that in mind, we're seeing kind of a few different dynamics 83 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,840 emerge. The first problem is that 84 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,120 influencers are trying to solve for dropping engagement. 85 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,560 I'd like to make the claim that we're seeing so many influencers 86 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,080 pivoting into politics as a solve for this dropping 87 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,280 engagement. Engagement on Instagram and 88 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:05,840 TikTok is retained through anger and and political messaging is 89 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,920 very effective at evoking that emotion. 90 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,920 So influencers are pivoting to that kind of content to maintain 91 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,760 the engagement. I don't think I'm actually 92 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,480 saying anything groundbreaking here or that would surprise you, 93 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,920 but it's really a shame and it leaves the solution to the 94 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,040 problem in our hands as consumers. 95 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:28,240 It means that we have to stop engaging with rage content and 96 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,880 angry content, and we have to take ourselves out of the cycle. 97 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,480 Truthfully, I I don't want to see Hollywood celebrities on the 98 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,040 red carpet sharing their political leanings. 99 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,960 When I had my friend Beatrice Levine on the show, she talked 100 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,880 about how art and museums are inherently political. 101 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:48,040 I agree, but that doesn't mean they're free from consequences. 102 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,400 If we stop tolerating these politics being forced upon us, 103 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,040 artists will have no incentive to keep going and will revert to 104 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,040 making good art. So that's my rant on that. 105 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,360 The next thing I wanted to discuss with you is really the 106 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,680 inside baseball of my podcasting slash people. 107 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,320 Do you want to know these last few months kind of related to 108 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,440 this? We talked about the gold rush of 109 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,760 influencers being over, but it's really crazy how this is 110 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:18,080 manifesting in our Jewish activist and influencer 111 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,400 community. People are scrambling to stay 112 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,560 relevant. Influencers are starting to look 113 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,320 desperate and I think it comes from them not being able to 114 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:31,040 evolve. October 7th birthed a new set of 115 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,520 problems that our Jewish community needed influencers 116 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,520 for. Now the problem space has 117 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,880 changed and content creators are not really meeting the moment. 118 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:43,400 The worst part of it is seeing the hubris with which certain 119 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,720 creators have approached the situation, refusing to accept 120 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,640 that the landscape has changed. They want to double down on 121 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,080 failed tactics. They think that another 122 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,720 newsletter, another podcast, another conference that is all 123 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,360 going to change the situation. There's also a bit of a hubris 124 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,720 about not wanting to work through existing systems and 125 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,040 wanting to start your own thing so that your name can be on it. 126 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:10,080 To be honest, a lot of what I do adjacent to the show, you guys 127 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,080 don't even see from me. I take meetings with Jewish 128 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,840 nonprofits and I really try to help them from within. 129 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,360 They have the funding, they have the people, and if I'm seeing a 130 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,760 problem, why wouldn't I work with a place that has all of the 131 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,280 infrastructure set up already to try to fix it? 132 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,960 Wouldn't it be a lot more productive and faster to do 133 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,080 that? The podcast is a forum where you 134 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,760 and I refine our thinking and learn new things every week with 135 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,480 the hope that we can then act on them elsewhere. 136 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,520 The show is really meant to be just the tip of the iceberg. 137 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,120 I think we're going to see a few things in the coming months. 138 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,080 Some influencers will pivot and make non Jewish content that can 139 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,280 be mommy influencers, lifestyle, fashion, politics. 140 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,760 Some influencers will just drop off and some will double down. 141 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,280 Come up with more ideas, more podcasts, more conferences that 142 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,040 go nowhere. And then these people will 143 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,960 resent that their work isn't getting the recognition that 144 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:08,720 they think it deserves. This last bucket is the most 145 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,000 dangerous one to me because it's driven by ego. 146 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,760 Not by a care for you or me, their audience, their supporter, 147 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,720 but by pure ego. It's just something to think 148 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,640 about. What I'll add is that I 149 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,840 personally feel kind of removed from all of these buckets. 150 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,000 I interview people in these buckets. 151 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,520 I view myself more of like a journalist and podcaster than I 152 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,600 do a creator. I'm here to ask the questions 153 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,480 and to learn what's happening from within. 154 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,919 I'm not aspiring to be an influencer. 155 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,320 Also, if we're being real, I'm a lot smaller than some of these 156 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,559 creators. But I'll tell you, being the 157 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,800 underdog has a massive advantage. 158 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,160 Floor Hassan Nahum discussed this when talking about women in 159 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,840 the workplace, and I think it applies to underdogs too. 160 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:56,200 They never see you coming. When people have no expectations 161 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,960 for you, they think you're too small or maybe you're incapable. 162 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,360 They never expect you to do something great. 163 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,480 And when it comes to the audience, it's an opportunity to 164 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,720 pleasantly surprise, and that's always a good position to be in. 165 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,280 I view podcasting and what I do like a creative pursuit. 166 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,240 And creative pursuits require authenticity that a lot of 167 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,200 influencers might not know how to give. 168 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,600 And being authentic doesn't mean like airing out all your dirty 169 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,520 laundry in the public eye. It's speaking from your truth, 170 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,400 not about your truth, if that makes sense. 171 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,400 The other inside baseball thing here is you got to trust your 172 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,400 gut about who you think is a gimmick and who isn't. 173 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,760 It all becomes apparent in due time. 174 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:42,040 OK, what else do I have for you? I have a letter from a listener 175 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,520 that I want to read you. This is a letter from someone I 176 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,360 love very much and whose judgement I really value on most 177 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,200 things Jewish life related. We will call her June. 178 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,800 Last time we spoke, June brought up to me that she felt that 179 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:59,240 whenever intermarriage was raised on the podcast, no one 180 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,440 really took it all the way, quote UN quote. 181 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,000 And I wonder what she meant by that. 182 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,880 June said that no one has really driven the point home of how 183 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,200 much of an urgent problem intermarriage is and why it is 184 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,520 our responsibility to make it a priority and something to fix. 185 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:19,160 Now when June is using the word hour, she means specifically 186 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,680 single people looking for a partner and parents raising 187 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,240 single people looking for a partner. 188 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,840 From her point of view, and I would agree here, there's really 189 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,680 no value in shaming already partner people and often times 190 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,600 conversations around intermarriage focus there. 191 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:38,120 It's also unlikely that already partner people will suddenly 192 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,320 dump their partners and look for a Jew. 193 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,160 Of course it's possible, but again, not very likely. 194 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:47,120 Ironically, June herself was in that spot when she made the 195 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,400 decision that marrying a Jew was her number one priority, and 196 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,880 she's not even Orthodox or anything like that. 197 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,200 Now, I don't want to speak for June, but I gather that once she 198 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,840 understood the magnitude of the problem, she felt there wasn't a 199 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,320 defensible way to marry non Jew, That there wasn't a 200 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,840 justification for how she wasn't personally responsible for the 201 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,360 solution. Now I'm going to read you the 202 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,840 letter she wrote. It's an invitation to single 203 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,480 people hearing this to make marrying Jews a #1 priority. 204 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,240 Letter to the editor the Jewish demographic crisis were too 205 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,920 scared to talk about. Dear Margarita, Hello from a 206 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,880 longtime listener and first time caller. 207 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,640 Your podcast has covered so many critical topics and stories 208 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,440 across the Jewish world, from Jewish gangsters to parenting 209 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,440 children with special needs. But across the Jewish media 210 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,680 space, there's a topic we need to have an honest conversation 211 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,360 about but have been sweeping under the rug. 212 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:43,520 Let me paint a picture for you with data. 213 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:48,160 As of 2023, there are 15.7 million Jews around the world, 214 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,280 still roughly 1,000,000 fewer than the pre Holocaust global 215 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:57,280 Jewish population of 16.6 million. 6.3 million, just under 216 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,120 half of the global Jewish population, live in the United 217 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,040 States now, according to Pew Research. 218 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:07,320 Among Jews who got married before 19 eighty, 18% were 219 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,400 married to a non Jewish spouse. Among Jews who got married 220 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,720 between 1990 and 1999, the number of Jews marrying a non 221 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:19,680 Jewish spouse rose to 37%. And among Jews who got married 222 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:24,400 between 2010 and 2020, sixty, 1% married a spouse that isn't 223 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,840 Jewish. According to that same research, 224 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,480 children raised by only one Jewish parent are less than half 225 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,840 as likely to identify as Jewish than those who were raised by 226 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:38,040 two Jewish parents, with only 40% maintaining a Jewish 227 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:42,520 identity, compared to 90% of those raised by two Jewish 228 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,240 parents. In the new Pew Research survey. 229 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,680 Among married Jewish respondents who have one Jewish parent, 82% 230 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,680 went and intermarried, compared to only 34% of those with two 231 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,600 Jewish parents. Sit with this for a minute. 60% 232 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,320 of American Jews getting married today are marrying out. 233 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:06,000 Their kids are only 40% likely to identify as Jewish and 82% 234 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,320 likely to marry out themselves, and this represents the 235 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,560 population of just under half of All World Jewelry. 236 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,520 Let's get a few things out of the way. 237 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,800 While they are statistically less likely to do so, there are 238 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,720 many Jews from interfaith households who maintain a strong 239 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,120 and passionate Jewish identity. None of this should be construed 240 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,400 as encouraging hostility to Jews and interfaith marriages. 241 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,560 They and their families should certainly be welcomed with open 242 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:34,760 arms in any community setting. However, we need to be honest 243 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,240 about the demographic Cliff we are looking at here. 244 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,120 The math is unforgiving. Intermarriage at current rates 245 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,400 produces children who are overwhelmingly less likely to 246 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:48,080 identify Jewishly, observe Jewish practice, or raise Jewish 247 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,000 grandchildren. A smaller Jewish population in 248 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,880 the next generation only compounds this issue. 249 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:58,040 Fewer Jews means fewer potential partners, making it even harder 250 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,000 for the next generation to find each other. 251 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,200 Synagogue struggling to find a minion. 252 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,080 Local Jewish institutions closing. 253 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,800 The national trend pretends this is in Jewish communities across 254 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,160 America. In just a few generations, the 255 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,920 current trend of extremely high rates of intermarriage among 256 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,880 American Jews threatens to collapse the amount of people 257 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,720 around the world who identifies Jewish. 258 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,920 We are already seeing the evidence of this. 259 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,720 According to Pew, there are 1.9 million Americans who have at 260 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,320 least one Jewish parent or a Jewish upbringing but identify 261 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,400 with another religion, for example, Christianity. 262 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,360 The Jewish community needs a serious cultural shift, one that 263 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,680 helps single Jews understand the importance of finding a Jewish 264 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,240 partner and that devotes real communal resources towards 265 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,840 making that happen. Some people are inherently 266 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,240 uncomfortable with anything that points out the demographic risks 267 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,240 of intermarriage because they falsely associated with 268 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,080 exclusion or bigotry. The issue of religious 269 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,040 continuity is openly discussed in many communities. 270 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,840 For example, American Mormons and American Muslims take great 271 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,920 care to marry one of their same religion, maintaining rates of 272 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:09,760 85% and 87%, respectively. Renewing cultural emphasis on 273 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,160 marrying Jewish isn't about excluding others, but about the 274 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:17,200 dire need to preserve ourselves and existential necessity after 275 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,280 centuries of genocide that have demolished the global Jewish 276 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,840 population. Preserving minority cultures who 277 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,440 face serious threats to their continuity because of the 278 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,200 impacts of genocide cannot be equated to chauvinism or 279 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,600 bigotry. The Jewish people have survived 280 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:36,200 Pharaohs, inquisitions, pogroms, and genocide not by accident, 281 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,160 but through a choice made by our ancestors. 282 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,440 In every generation to find a Jewish partner and build a 283 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,600 Jewish Home, we are faced with that same choice today. 284 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,160 If you are single, prioritize finding a Jewish partner. 285 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,480 Use Jewish dating apps or hinges free religion filter. 286 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,400 Go to Jewish events where you could meet someone and let 287 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,680 others in the community know you're looking so that they can 288 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,760 set you up if they know there's a possible match. 289 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,240 If you are not single, think of the Jewish singles in your life 290 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,720 and ask. Maybe there's a potential 291 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,480 romantic connection you can facilitate. 292 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,640 The Jewish tradition of the Shahan exists for a reason, and 293 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,440 it's something we need to revitalize. 294 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,640 And if you are involved in Jewish organizations, start a 295 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,920 real conversation within your organization about how we can 296 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,560 repurpose resources to creating Jewish couples. 297 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,840 The data shows us what's coming if nothing changes. 298 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,880 The question is whether we care enough to do something about it 299 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,120 before the math becomes irreversible. 300 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,760 Oof. OK so that's the letter. 301 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,640 I don't even think June was as direct as I know she could have 302 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,720 been. But she said that she didn't 303 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,080 want the delivery to dissuade people from understanding the 304 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,240 issue and internalizing it. She didn't want people to tune 305 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,480 out before they heard her. What do you think? 306 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,800 Please feel free to DM me or comment with your thoughts. 307 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,880 I am really interested to get the feedback on this. 308 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,240 I want to move us on to something else completely, which 309 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,440 is some interesting family history I dug up from my 310 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,440 paternal grandparents. As a refresher, I have three 311 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,079 Jewish grandparents and one non Jewish grandfather. 312 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,720 He's Ukrainian. My paternal grandparents are 313 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,280 interesting because they don't do anything Jewish. 314 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,520 Like they wouldn't be able to tell you basic things about 315 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,119 Judaism, but their whole demeanor and vibe is beyond 316 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,160 Jewish. It's honestly comical. 317 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,160 For those who have seen the show Everybody Loves Raymond with the 318 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:28,079 tall bald grandfather and the tiny blonde grandmother, that's 319 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,080 exactly what my grandparents look like. 320 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,920 My grandma's father or my great grandfather was a die hard 321 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,880 communist and held very important positions in the 322 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,800 Communist Party. His wife Rita is who I was named 323 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,720 after my whole life. I assumed that her full name was 324 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:49,040 Margarita because typically Rita's are short for margaritas 325 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,920 and it turns out that this is not the case. 326 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:56,880 She was a Riva who became a Rita to sound less Jewish. 327 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,600 So I'm actually the first Margarita in my family. 328 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,000 When it comes to Jewish heritage, my paternal 329 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,720 grandmother's side doesn't have much to report. 330 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,520 They were communists. They were super assimilated to 331 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,920 the point that they all changed their names to sound less 332 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,360 Jewish. My paternal grandfather's side, 333 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:16,120 on the other hand, was a lot less assimilated. 334 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,920 It seems like my grandpa told me that his grandfather Mordechai 335 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:24,400 or Motel was married to Amalca and they spoke basically only in 336 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,680 Yiddish and didn't really understand Russian at all. 337 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,200 My grandpa's family lived in the city, and now there's going to 338 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,320 be a mouthful near Nepra Petrovsk that was designated for 339 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,560 Jews. They lived on the ground floor 340 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,240 of A2 story building with the landlord above them. 341 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,480 That building was close to a river, and every spring he told 342 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,680 me that the river would flood and it would flood their entire 343 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,520 apartment, basically up to the ceiling. 344 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,880 They'd have to move out and move back in until finally they just 345 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,040 found a new place and left that building altogether. 346 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,560 Back then, they had an outhouse for a bathroom that was a wooden 347 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,960 toilet and they'd have to get water from the well. 348 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,840 And this is my grandfather's childhood. 349 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,560 He's 87 this year. He's really not that old. 350 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,600 To contrast this, my grandmother, who's 84, she grew 351 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:13,680 up in a wealthy communist family where they had not only multiple 352 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,560 bathrooms in the house, but also staff. 353 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,640 She said she was completely shocked when she went to see the 354 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,160 place where my grandfather grew up. 355 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,960 When they started dating. My grandpa told me that his 356 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:28,480 grandma Malka was very smart and that everyone in town would come 357 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,480 to her to get her advice on everything. 358 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,720 She also ran the house. I asked him if they kept kosher 359 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,760 or identified as very Jewish and he told me no. 360 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:40,480 I then asked him like how do you know and he said that the 361 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,960 recipes that were passed down from Malka to the next 362 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,680 generation, they would include pork and traif. 363 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,640 My grandpa also shared that when they walked down the street with 364 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,000 his grandma and her friends, they'd speak in Yiddish and he'd 365 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,680 run away from embarrassment. He said to me, I was embarrassed 366 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,120 of my nationality. I was curious. 367 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,880 So I asked him how did you know that there was something to be 368 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,200 embarrassed of? And he told me that he knew 369 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,840 because he was severely bullied at school for being Jewish. 370 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,800 My family doesn't have anyone who was in the concentration 371 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,240 camps in World War 2. Either my relatives died or were 372 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,800 killed during the Holocaust, or they served for the Soviet Army 373 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:21,360 or were evacuated away. On my paternal grandfather's 374 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:25,680 side, no one served in World War 2 for the Soviet Union at all. 375 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,800 And I was trying to figure out how it was possible because back 376 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,120 then there were definitely men in the family of serving age. 377 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,960 Basically, on both sides of my grandfather's family, the men 378 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,600 worked for warehouses or factory where they made military 379 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,640 equipment, artillery supplies. If you held one of those jobs, 380 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,760 you were not sent to the front lines because you were 381 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,880 responsible for equipping the front lines. 382 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:53,120 That's how none of the men on my paternal grandfather's side 383 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,080 ended up having to serve in World War 2. 384 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:59,200 Interestingly, both my grandma and grandpa were die hard 385 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,000 communist growing up and I was trying to understand how this 386 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,840 came about. From my grandma's side because 387 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,280 she lived a more luxurious and comfortable life. 388 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,960 She said she didn't even know what was really happening. 389 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,280 She didn't think there was anything bad about communism 390 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,840 because the communism she experienced was great. 391 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,640 It was truly just ignorance. It also didn't help that her 392 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,960 father was such a die hard believer, she wasn't really 393 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,280 exposed to an alternative. On my grandpa's side, the family 394 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,560 was split on communism. My grandpa and his father had 395 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,000 very strong disagreements. My great grandfather Benjamin, 396 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,800 He used to say Stalin is worse than Hitler and my grandfather 397 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,400 would actually argue with him over this. 398 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,240 My grandpa said to me. Only later did I realize how 399 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,200 forward thinking Benjamin was. I really believed in it all 400 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,320 without questioning. For my grandfather. 401 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,840 I think it definitely stemmed more from fear and a desire to 402 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,400 be accepted. He has numerous stories of him 403 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,160 being bullied and beaten not only as a child, but even 404 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,040 bullied and harassed as an adult for being Jewish. 405 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,200 My grandfather actually took my grandma's last name, Lyodov, so 406 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,360 that they didn't have to use his Jewish last name, Ghazunterman. 407 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,480 Talking to my grandparents made me curious what my dad, their 408 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,880 son, thought about this. My dad said that my grandfather 409 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,440 was probably so influenced to support communism because he had 410 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,240 spent his formative years living with my grandmother and her 411 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,480 family, who were diehard communists. 412 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,520 I asked my dad then how he personally knew that communism 413 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,440 was bad. My dad said that growing up, he 414 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,640 didn't think it was bad at all. And in fact, he said that when 415 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:38,680 he was a kid he used to feel sorry, he said, for black people 416 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,880 who had to live in horrible America, and how grateful and 417 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,120 privileged he felt as a child to live in the Soviet Union. 418 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,560 Things change for my father when he learned the story of Pavlik 419 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,520 Morozov. This story was made of 420 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,000 propaganda by the Soviet Union, where Pavlik was a 13 year old 421 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,760 boy who was considered a hero and a martyr. 422 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:02,520 In the story, the 13 year old boy reports his own father to 423 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,840 the authorities for alleged espionage against the Soviet 424 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,240 Union. According to the story, or this 425 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,200 legend if you will, after snitching on his own family, his 426 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,480 family killed him and the Soviet Union used this to paint Pavlik 427 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,560 as a total hero because apparently nothing was more 428 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,000 important than the Soviet Union and the authorities. 429 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,320 Reading the story, my dad felt something was wrong. 430 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,400 And then he said and when you question one thing, you start to 431 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,000 question everything. And that's how I was able to 432 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,280 change my mind. It really made me wonder what it 433 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,520 takes to become the type of person who will know to think 434 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,360 for themselves and to question. I think it's certainly a 435 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,040 combination of nature and nurture. 436 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,720 It's going to be up to us to raise our children in a way 437 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,880 where they intuitively know to challenge. 438 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,080 When my brother got into arguments with pro Palestinian 439 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,800 students on his campus, he used to say jokingly, please don't 440 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,680 deprive yourself of the gift of thought. 441 00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,480 And it's the same here. It's really our obligation to 442 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,640 enable the gift of thought for the next generation. 443 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,600 Honestly, I never know how to end these solo episodes because 444 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,560 I usually don't do solo episodes, but I hope you enjoyed 445 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,280 this one and I'd love your feedback. 446 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,400 Stay tuned for the launch of GOI. 447 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,920 You will enjoy season next week. Talk to you later. 448 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,320 If you've enjoyed this podcast, please go ahead and rate US five 449 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,120 stars. Be the first to hear our 450 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:22,400 episodes by subscribing to PEOPLE Do you want to know 451 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,960 wherever you get your podcasts? And for exclusive content, 452 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,680 follow us on Instagram at PEOPLE. 453 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,400 Do You Want to Know?