Hi, I'm Diane Groussell, and I'm also known as Silver
Disobedience. I'm a perception analyst and a
hypnotherapist, and I'm the president of my company, DGI,
and I share all kinds of ideas on how you can also live a
better life. Today I want to talk about how
to become a calm presence and a conscious participant in life
and whatever else you're doing in life.
A good goal is to become a calm presence and a conscious
participant in all interactions and situations.
Now, I'm not going to tell you it's easy, but it is doable.
So to become a calm presence means that we have to possess a
state of inner tranquility. We have to hold our composure,
keep it together, especially in challenging or stressful
situations. So this involves maintaining our
emotional stability and our serenity no matter what's
happening, and choosing to not react while interacting with
others or navigating through any of life's challenges and
circumstances that come at us at all times from all directions.
So being a calm presence is a really worthy goal because it
can positively influence not just yourself but all those
around you, as it creates an atmosphere of reassurance and
stability, and that makes you a better leader, communicator and
groovier person to hang with. Being a conscious participant,
that requires that you're going to have to be actively engaging
in situations, conversations or activities.
But we have to do this with awareness and intention.
Intentionality always a word. I have a struggle with
intentionality. This means we have to be fully
present, present in the moment. We're paying attention to
details. We're demonstrating our active
involvement rather than merely going through the motions.
Sorry to tell you. It probably means putting your
cell phone down in your purse, in your briefcase, in another
room so you're not distracted. Because distracted people are
not conscious participants. Conscious participants are
mindful of their actions, their choices, and they recognize the
impact that they can have on themselves and others.
And it's a wonderful impact you can have when you are a
conscious participant. Combining these two qualities,
being a calm presence, the voice of reason, and a conscious
participant who's fully in the moment, well, that means you're
being both emotionally composed and actively engaged.
So this involves approaching life with a sense of
mindfulness, awareness, and thoughtful responsiveness.
By embodying these qualities personally and professionally at
home, with friends, family, or at work, we build healthier
relationships in all aspects of our lives, making more informed
decisions along the way and contributing to a more positive
and harmonious environment whichever environment we're in.
So next, I'd like to share 7 easy tips.
And again, I'm Diane Grisel. I'm also known as Silver
Dispedience. I'm a perception analyst.
I'm a hypnotherapist. And I've been a I am Aceo of
president of a communications company.
I help people understand the gaps in their perceptions.
So next what I want to talk about is how can you do it
yourself? OK, how can you develop a calm
presence in challenging situations?
This can be cultivated. It's done through practice and
the adoption of certain strategies.
And once you know those strategies, you can start to use
those techniques to develop your own calm presence.
Here's the first one. When you're facing a challenging
situation, you got to start by taking slow, deep breaths.
I say this all the time, but we all walk around as shallow
breathers and there's not a single person, if you just say
stop and take a deep breath, that a zillion things going on
in the body and there are a zillion things going on in your
body at all times that either make you feel stressed or
relaxed. Your that deep breath activates
your relaxation response and this instantly helps you
regulate emotions and reduce stress.
So the minute you're confronted with a stressful situation and
you think you're going to lose, lose it or you've got to just
stop and breathe consciously. Say I'm just.
I just got to take a breathing break a minute and even 3
breaths will change you if you can get to a minute.
You're talking about sometimes and a complete attitude shift
#2. You've got to learn and practice
mindfulness techniques to train your mind to stay present and
focused. I'm a big believer in breathing.
If you go onto my website, dianegrissel.com in the Silver
Dispedience column, you will see plenty of ideas.
In my blogs, I'm always offering suggestions.
Just search mindfulness and you'll find all kinds of ways
that you can be strengthening your approach to life.
See now. Right now I hear that phone
ringing, but I am ignoring it. And I hope you can too, because
the goal here is to strengthen your presence.
Remain calm and centered in the face of challenges,
distractions, disruptions that are going to constantly happen
throughout our lives at all times #3 develop self-awareness.
You do this by paying attention to your thoughts, emotions,
physical sensations that all come up in challenging
situations. The more we can recognize
patterns of of, let's say, the patterns of our reactions or the
triggers that lead to our sense of heightened stress or anxiety,
the better we become with getting closer to our inner
calm. Because you can become aware and
with awareness, you can consciously choose more calm,
positive responses. And let me tell you, your
response, whether you want to own it or not, is a choice.
OK, It is a choice because you are in charge of what's going on
in this space above your shoulders.
OK, This is your space to control and you can with
practice. I'm not telling and I never use
the word easy because these things aren't easy.
They take practice, and sometimes it's two steps forward
and one step back. But you can train your brain to
reframe, and that's going to bring us to #4, which is
training yourself to reframe challenging situations in a more
positive or balanced light. The tendency is to
catastrophize. I love that word catastrophize,
so I'm saying it twice, catastrophize or dwelling in the
negatives. Instead of catastrophizing, try
to find potential opportunities, lessons, alternative viewpoints
that can bring a sense of calm and clarity to you and
ultimately, possibly those around you. #5 Prepare for
challenging situations. You might have to gather
information, develop necessary skills, and rehearse beforehand.
The more prepared you feel, the more confident and calm you will
be. When facing challenges, which
are inevitable because life is a perseverance and challenge test
number six, Prioritize self-care activities.
There are things you can do that will help you recharge.
Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being contributes
to an overall sense of calm and resilience.
This could be how you eat, whether you go to the gym,
whether you take time to take a walk, whether you spend some
time in nature, whether you get together with friends and
instead of you know, going straight down to bang down the
cocktails you need for tea. It could be anything where you
are doing things that take care of your physical and emotional
well-being. Always when you do this, it will
contribute to your overall sense of calm and more importantly
your resilience. That says I can handle this and
I can do it again and again, #7 would be cultivate empathy and
compassion. This is really important.
Empathy and compassion for yourself and others.
This means acknowledging pain and that we might not get it all
right the first time, but if you approach challenging situations
with understanding and kindness, it really helps diffuse tension
and creates a more harmonious environment.
Now this is not saying with empathy that you can't be
empathetic and still say this situation's not for me.
There are situations that you should remove yourself from
where you can be empathetic, but you don't have to stand there
and be the whipping post. So you have to determine these
things, but you can still be empathetic.
You can listen, You can give an ear and have your own boundaries
that protect your own mental health as well.
Developing a calm presence, well, it takes some time and
practice, so we all have to be patient with ourselves.
We have to celebrate the small victories that we'll have along
the way because we will have them.
Like I said, sometimes it's one step, 2 steps forward, one step
back, sometimes it's two steps back and we feel like we're
right where we started. But we can keep moving forward
with practice and a commitment to be better people.
Over time, these strategies can become more natural.
They will become more natural. They'll kind of become second
nature. And people will say, wow, you
just seem so much cooler these days.
They'll be like, yeah, seems that way.
How cool is that? You can cultivate a greater
sense of calm in challenging situations.
My bet's on you. I'm Diane Groussell.
I'm also known as Silver Disobedience.
I am a perception analyst. I'm a hypnotherapist.
I work with companies and individuals to help them better
understand where there are disconnects and what they
believe and what others might believe and those disconnects
and how they impact our personal and professional lives.
I want to really thank you for tuning in and I hope you
subscribe and you can always find more information on my
blog. I post every day, I'm on social
media and I try to add these posts at least two or three
times a week. Thanks again for joining me.
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