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Hi, welcome. 
I'm Diane Groussell and I'm the 

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host of the Silver Dispedians 
Podcast. 

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Today I want to talk about the 
expression misfortune makes us 

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wise. 
I relate to this expression a 

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lot because having been alive 
for over 60 years, 63 in fact, 

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and in business for over 45 
years, when I reflect back on my

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life, I'd have to say that I 
learned the most lessons when 

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things were not going quite the 
way I wanted. 

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I can also say that I might not 
have been too happy with the 

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state of the situation at that 
moment. 

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In fact, that would probably be 
an understatement. 

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But upon reflection, I still now
realize that I learned more when

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the going got tough, whether in 
my personal or work lives, than 

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I ever learned when everything 
was hunky Dory. 

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Which, if you don't know the 
expression, hunky Dory, let me 

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just tell you before you look it
up on line to find out what it 

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means. 
Start by tuning into David 

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Bowie's great album of the same 
name. 

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But enough about Hunky Dory. 
Let's dig into the statement 

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Misfortune makes us wise. 
Well, certainly there's times 

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that misfortune does nothing but
absolutely stink. 

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It's just brutal. 
There's some things that do 

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happen that I, I they're 
unfathomable and they stink, OK,

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but let's put those aside. 
Let's talk about the everyday 

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kind of misfortunes. 
Or maybe they're not everyday, 

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but they're the ones that are 
surmountable. 

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So the expression misfortune 
makes us wise suggests that 

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experiencing a difficult or an 
unfortunate circumstance or 

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circumstances can lead to 
personal growth and increased 

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wisdom. 
And there are a few reasons why 

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this is valid and why this idea 
is so often expressed. 

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So #1 Learning from our 
mistakes. 

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Certainly education is expensive
and a good education is really 

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expensive. 
And I have had a very expensive 

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education, not just from 
traditional school, but more so 

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from mistakes I've made. 
See, misfortune often arises 

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from mistakes, poor decisions, 
unforeseen circumstances, and 

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whether we encounter 
difficulties whenever we do. 

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We have an opportunity if we 
choose to, to reflect on what 

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went wrong and to really learn 
from our mistakes. 

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And this reflection can lead to 
incredible personal growth and 

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the acquisition of wisdom and 
maybe even some wealth along the

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way. 
Because one of the big things 

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I've learned from my mistakes is
to really try my hardest to 

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never make the same one twice. 
But the only way you could avoid

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making the same mistake over and
over again is by investing some 

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serious time in self reflection,
or maybe team reflection if it's

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with a group as to what went 
wrong and why. 

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And why don't you want to do it 
again? 

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#2? 
Resilience and Problem Solving 

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can really elevate the you know 
problems can really elevate the 

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skills of your resilience and 
your ability to solve problems. 

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Misfortune certainly tests our 
resilience and our problem 

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solving skills. 
And when we're faced with 

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adversity, we're often forced to
find really new creative 

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solutions and develop new 
strategies to deal with what we 

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need to deal with. 
Overcoming challenges enhances 

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our ability to navigate 
difficult situations and to make

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wiser choices in the future. 
It also, I'm a big believer, 

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builds our self-confidence and 
our self-confidence when it's 

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really built. 
By knowing that we can overcome 

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difficulties, builds our self 
esteem and self respect and that

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in turn impacts every 
relationship we enter going 

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forward. 
Perspective and empathy. 

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Let me tell you, going through a
misfortune, as I'm sure you have

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experienced, can deepen our 
understanding of other 

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struggles. 
You know, I had to have a 

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migraine headache once before I 
really understood what people 

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were talking about when they had
a migraine headache. 

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Now I wish I didn't have to 
experience to be more 

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empathetic, but sometimes that's
just how life works. 

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So difficult situations, 
adversity, misfortune. 

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Well, it can build our empathy 
and compassion towards others 

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because we can recognize the 
universe. 

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Universality. 
Universality. 

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Have to think about how you say 
that word of human suffering. 

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We're all a part of this 
universe and we all suffer in 

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one way or another. 
This increased perspective of 

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community, common understanding 
that we're all in this together 

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one way or another, can 
contribute to our personal 

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wisdom by broadening our world 
view and challenging our 

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preconceived notions that we 
might have about others #4 

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misfortune certainly makes us 
appreciate our blessings. 

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Misfortune can lead to an 
enhanced appreciation for the 

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positive aspects of our lives. 
You know, how many times have 

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you gotten a cold and said, Oh 
my gosh, if I just can get 

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through this, I will never do 
XYZ again. 

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We all negotiate with God or 
ourselves and say, oh, if I can 

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only feel better, I'll go to the
gym every day. 

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I won't drink too much, I'll eat
better. 

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Everybody does it. 
That is how adversity really 

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helps us appreciate what we've 
got and take a gratitude 

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checklist for the many positive 
aspects of our lives that we 

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often overlook because they're 
just there. 

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When we experience hardships, it
helps us gain a renewed sense of

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gratitude for the things we take
for granted. 

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And we all take things for 
granted. 

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Including this appreciation can 
contribute to a greater sense of

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wisdom and also a big benefit 
contentment. 

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When you realize what you've 
got, you tend to be a lot more 

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content in your life. 
That doesn't mean lazy. 

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Let's not confuse the two, just 
means you're appreciative and 

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glad for what you have. 
It's important to note, like I 

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said at the beginning, that not 
while misfortune can potentially

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lead to wisdom, it's not a 
guarantee. 

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The way we as individuals 
respond to adversity varies, and

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some of us may not extract the 
valuable lessons or the insight 

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from the experience that 
adversity teaches us. 

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Wisdom is complex and it's 
multifaceted, and it's a trait 

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that is really cultivated by 
choice and through various 

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means. 
We cultivate wisdom by self 

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reflection, taking the time to 
really listen to what others are

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saying and through exposing 
ourselves to a diverse set of 

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life experiences. 
So like I said, no, misfortune 

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does not always lead to personal
growth and wisdom, but it can. 

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So while difficult experiences 
can certainly provide 

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opportunities for growth, the 
outcome depends on how we as 

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individuals choose to respond to
and process whatever the 

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experience is. 
Some people just become bitter. 

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Some become resentful. 
Some get stuck. 

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They get stuck in a cycle of 
negativity. 

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When faced with misfortune, they
take the attitude that woe is 

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me. 
My life sucks. 

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This is always happening to me. 
This is always happening to me. 

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Instead of actually seeing it as
an isolated incident and taking 

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the time to notice all those 
blessings, all those great 

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things that are also happening 
in your life on a constant 

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basis. 
Others may also struggle to find

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meaning or lessons in their 
hardships, and sometimes it can 

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be really hard to find the 
lesson. 

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I'd be lying and totally 
disingenuous if I told you I 

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always found the lesson 
instantly. 

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Sometimes it took me years to 
figure out what the heck was the

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lesson that I Why did I need to 
learn that one? 

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Personal growth and wisdom often
require a proactive and 

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reflective approach to the 
adversity we face, so this 

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involves actively seeking the 
understanding, learning from 

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those mistakes, and adopting our
perspectives and behaviors 

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accordingly after we've learned 
the lesson. 

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You can't just learn a lesson 
and keep doing the same dance. 

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You have to learn the lesson and
decide how do I need to adjust 

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my moves to go forward so I 
don't make the same mistake 

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twice. 
So it's important to note that 

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personal growth is complex like 
I said and multifaceted. 

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Various in factors influence, 
and this can be other factors, 

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can be just plain your 
individual resilience, your 

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support systems that you have 
and your mindset. 

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So additionally the impact of 
misfortune on your personal 

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growth will vary depending on 
the severity and the nature of 

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the experience. 
I said this early as I at the 

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start some misfortunes. 
You know, I it's really hard to 

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find that silver lining and I'm 
not going to give a blanket 

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statement that there's always a 
good lesson. 

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Sometimes it just life is what 
it is and we have to like look 

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at it that way because it just 
is. 

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It just is. 
Something's just can suck the 

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wind out of us, but it's not the
most part. 

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Most part we're dealing with 
little stuff on a day-to-day 

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basis that feels overwhelming 
sometimes can feel 

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unsurmountable. 
But if we're still standing, you

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know we can usually get through 
it. 

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Or even if we're not standing, 
we can often still get through 

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it. 
So some misfortunes certainly 

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can be very traumatic and 
require time and support to 

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recover and heal. 
And I encourage anyone to always

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have a support system. 
Seek mental or medical health 

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whenever you need to help you 
get through the difficult times 

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that are not necessarily the 
misfortune we're talking about 

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now. 
But even some things that seem 

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insurmountable, you can get 
through 'cause life is for the 

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living. 
So while misfortune can 

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potentially lead to personal 
growth and wisdom, it's not 

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automatically guaranteed. 
It's not a guaranteed outcome. 

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It really depends on how we 
choose to respond and engage 

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with our experiences, as well as
the factors that influence our 

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personal development. 
So what can we do to grow and 

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learn from the crappy 
experiences that we wish we 

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didn't have to deal with? 
We do. 

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So there are a lot of ways we 
can make, as they say, lemonade 

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out of a lemon's life throws at 
US. 

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Number one is you really need to
reflect and self examine. 

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It helps to take the time when 
you faced a challenge to explore

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how it's shaping you as a 
person. 

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You know, ask yourself, what 
have I learned from this 

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experience? 
How is it influenced my values, 

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my beliefs, my priorities? 
Would I do something different? 

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Reflecting on your journey can 
really help you extract meaning 

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and identify personal growth 
opportunities for going forward 

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in the future. 
Two, you learn to seek support 

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and connect with others. 
We don't have to go it alone all

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the time. 
Sometimes, adversity says, is 

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you're like, knock on the door, 
wait, or I should have gone like

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this. 
Knock on the head to reach out 

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to trusted family and friends, 
Member you know, members of 

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support groups that you could 
get involved with, others in 

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your community, your church, 
your synagogue, wherever you go,

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who can provide emotional 
support and understanding when 

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you need to speak and get it 
out. 

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Sharing your experiences and 
listening to other stories can 

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really help you gain perspective
and find common ground. 

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Connecting with others who face 
similar adversity can be 

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particularly valuable because 
they can offer insights and also

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give you the coping strategies 
they use to get through. 

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The challenge #3 is it really 
helps to reframe your 

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perspective. 
I do a lot of this with clients 

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when they come in for either my 
perception analysis work or 

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hypnotherapy to reframe the 
perspective you in life. 

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We need to sometimes reframe 
adversity we face by looking for

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the Silver Linings or seeing the
potential that the adversity 

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gave us for a growth 
opportunity. 

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So again, we want to ask 
ourselves what positive changes 

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or insights emerged from this 
experience. 

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Because for one thing, you could
just If you can't find any, let 

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me just tell you one You got 
through it, so you're still here

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listening to this, so that's a 
plus. 

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Another one you can ask is how 
has it helped me to develop 

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resilience or empathy? 
As I talked about earlier, 

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shifting your mindset from 
purely a negative view to a more

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balanced perspective can really 
help you find meaning. 

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Number 4, you want to learn and 
grow. 

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Misfortune is an opportunity to 
learn and grow, so you can 

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approach adversity as a chance 
for personal growth and 

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learning. 
Consider what skills, knowledge,

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and qualities that you've been 
developing as a result of your 

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adverse experiences. 
Engage in activities around it. 

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Try reading, attending 
workshops, seeking professional 

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guidance that can help you 
develop new skills around the 

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diversity to help you deepen 
understanding yourself and your 

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place in the world. 
Post the adverse situation #5. 

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Sometimes with adversity it 
really helps to give back and 

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help others. 
So this could include, well, let

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me just say, because sometimes 
finding meaning in adversity 

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comes from taking your 
experience and using it to share

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with others. 
Alcoholics Anonymous is an 

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example that has a organization 
that has done a phenomenal job 

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with this. 
You have someone present their 

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life story and others just 
listen. 

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They're quiet and they listen, 
and Al Anon does the same thing.

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Grieving support groups in a lot
of communities offer this, where

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you're listening to others 
who've gone through comparable 

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situations and you could be the 
person who's sharing. 

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So consider how you can channel 
your energy and insights into 

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helping others face who are 
facing or might face similar 

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challenges. 
This could involve mentoring, 

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volunteering, or advocating for 
causes related to the adversity 

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you've overcome. 6 It's always 
good to practice self-care and 

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resilience. 
Building adversity can certainly

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take a toll on our well-being, 
so it's crucial to prioritize 

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our self-care. 
You want to engage in activities

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that promote physical, 
emotional, and mental 

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well-being. 
This includes exercise, 

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meditation. 
I like self hypnosis, 

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journaling, or therapy. 
Speaking with a therapist who 

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can help you understand what 
you've been challenged with, 

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what you, what you're learning, 
and where you can take it going 

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forward. 
Positively, all of this builds 

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resilience. 
Self-care practices build 

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resilience and can help you 
navigate future challenges with 

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greater strength and wisdom. 
So remember finding meaning in 

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adversity? 
Well, that's a personal and very

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individual journey. 
What works for one person may 

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not work for another. 
So it's essential to be patient,

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kind to yourself and allow for 
meaning and meaning making 

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processes to unfold naturally 
over time. 

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I want to thank you for tuning 
in, and if you liked this 

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podcast, please don't forget to 
subscribe. 

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Share it, Tell your friends. 
I'm Diane Gorsell, PhD. 

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I'm also known as Silver 
Disobedience. 

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I am a perception analyst and 
hypnotherapist, and I work with 

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private clients, both 
individuals and companies all 

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over the world. 
I work to help them achieve 

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greater understanding as to how 
perceptions impact everything we

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do, whether personally or 
professionally. 

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You can text me to request a 
free 15 minute consult anytime, 

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212-825-3210. 
That's 212-825-3210. 

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00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,560
That's text to request a free 
consultation. 

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And again, I hope you subscribe.
I'm Diane Groussell, also known 

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as Silver Dispedience. 
Thanks.