Hello and welcome to Big Gay Energy.
I'm Caitlin. And I'm Fiora.
Come along with us while we dive into the fun and nuances of
queer media. Representation matters.
And we're here to talk about it. Cheers, queers.
What's on the big gay agenda today, Fiora?
Today, the most important item according to our Lord and Savior
lesbian Jesus is the web series these themes.
So in this episode we will be discussing the entirety of the
web series these themes. If you haven't watched it, the
whole thing is available on YouTube for free.
So you should totally go check that out and then come back and
watch this if you haven't already.
If you're not about that life, we will give a minor spoiler
free review at the beginning and then we would jump into
everything these themes in our spoiler section.
We'll warn you when we get there.
Yes, and if you haven't seen it, definitely go go watch it,
because it's definitely worth it.
It's a queer joy. And today, joining us, we have
Cole again. Welcome back, Cole.
Hi, I'm glad to be back. Very exciting.
Before we get into the episode, we're used to this by now,
right? If you're listening to the
podcast, make sure to write and review wherever you're
listening. If you're watching on YouTube,
make sure to subscribe. Leave a comment below and like
this video. Let us know what you think about
these themes or what you would want to see in a potential
season. Too.
Wink, wink, Come join us on Patreon.
You can see our full reaction video to these themes.
I had to cut it down a lot because, you know, YouTube, but
please ignore my dog. You can watch the entire thing
on Patreon an hour and 20 minutes, can you not?
She wants to join Patreon. She does.
She's not money, your dog. Patriot is where it is.
She does not know that she spends my money like it is no
business. Yeah.
But on Patreon, you get a bunch of, like, extra reaction videos
that we don't put on YouTube. And there's a bunch of fun stuff
that's exclusive to the Patreon members.
So, like, for $5 a month, you can get all of that fun queer.
Joy, so go do. That I'm just gonna finish Kate
Lynch Feel if you're not following us on social media do
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Please go join our discord. And lastly, I think that was
everything we did. It I'm back.
I have quiet hit the dog. OK, so where do you watch these
themes? We've already said it.
You can watch it on YouTube, but first we're going to give you a
little synopsis of what this show is about.
This is from their website. After realizing she might be a
lesbian, Gretchen quickly befriends non binary dog Walker
Bureau. I thought, OK, I'm sorry to
interrupt, but I thought that was stopping at dog and I was
like, wait, what? Non binary dog.
That's a way different show. Non binary dog Walker Bureau who
decides to stop training dogs and start training the
straights. Lord knows they need it.
Vero takes Gretchen under their wing and introduces Gretchen to
the queer world as she navigates what it's like to be newly out
at the age of 30. Vera's childhood friend Asher
isn't out as trans at work and is faced with the decision to
out himself when an opportunity for an LGBTQ account pops up.
Gretchen's gay best friend and roommate, Kevin, is looking for
love and may have found it in Asher.
We follow our four main characters to their lives in New
York City as they navigate their world with an intersectional
cast of queer and straight characters.
Sounds like a ton of. It definitely does.
So to conclude our spoiler Free review, Why don't you guys give
a brief review of what you thought of the show without
spoiling anything for those that haven't seen it?
Queer's queering it up all over the place.
Yeah, that's fair. Vico being Vico, being Vico.
Literally, literally check out our interview with Vico.
It's literally Vico being Vico in this show.
This it's one of my favorite like short series on YouTube.
The humor is like on point. The drama is excellent and of
course it has Vico Ortiz, so it's very exciting.
So we hope that intrigued you. So at this point we're going to
jump into all the spoiler. No we're not.
We are hydrating for lesbian Jesus.
That's what we're doing for us. OK, so lastly, before we get
into the spoiling, let's use our super accurate method for
determining how valuable a piece of queer media is for the
lexicon of queer media, which is the Big Gay Energy, Lesbian
Jesus Hydration Scale. Why do we hydrate?
Because queer media, like water, is essential for life.
So how much would you hydrate for lesbian Jesus?
For these them's the web series. Go ahead, Cole.
OK. So I give this a 10.
This is one of my favorites. I've probably seen it probably
four or five Times Now and just it's super easily watchable,
super accessible on YouTube. It was my original introduction
to Vigo Ortiz back when it was originally released in 2019, and
I've just been watching everything of theirs since then
and it's just great. I love it.
Caitlin, how much would you hydrate?
I think, I think I'll give it a 10.
It's it's a lot of fun and definitely a lot of
representation, does a lot to educate you about the different
parts of the queer community. So I I think it's just really
great and funny and it was very enjoyable.
Yeah, that's good. I give it a nine.
I thought it was good. I thought the of everything you
said. I think the intersectionality of
it was really important. And they do a good job of
basically showing you different lenses of queer people and kind
of navigating different, I guess aspects of their lives are
having different queer crises each.
That's a plural word. All the characters and I I think
they do a good job with that. It is funny.
It needs more though. I need I need more to it, but I
give it a nine I think. It's for an hour and 18 minutes.
I I think they did a lot. But truly, I mean, we just need
more. Exactly.
Yeah. OK, all right, she's gays and
days and everyone in between. We have made it to the spoiler
section. So if you don't want to be
spoiled, turn this off. Go to YouTube, watch these
themes, then come back. If you're a spoiler hoe and you
don't care, keep listening. We're going to talk about
everything and anything of these themes.
Take it away, Caitlin, All right.
Let's start with episode one. So we start with Gretchen and
Vero, who do not know each other at this point, sitting in the
gynecologist waiting room. Because this is already going to
be a ton of the fun. And they call their respective
best friends because the gyno makes everybody nervous.
Right? Right.
It's a it's a it's a thing. Anyway, so Gretchen's issue is
that apparently she throws up every time she has sex, and it
reminds me of Stevie and Iris Kelly doesn't date.
Absolutely similar reasons, but Gretchen's reason is she needs
to figure some shit out. Not exactly crippling anxiety.
Well, it definitely should have been a hint all along of what's
to come. Yes.
Meanwhile, Vero's conversation, Vero tells Asher to find them a
trans doctor. And I think this was very good
to point out. Like the LGBTQ Plus community
definitely needs a better way to find doctors that understand
them. Too many of the like doctors out
there are not educated on issues that impact our community
specifically. There's issues that we have to
do with more just because we're in this community, if anyone,
All right, So for everyone listening, if anyone knows of a
network that helps people find doctors for the LGBTQ Plus
community, just let us know. I talked about this at my job
too. Like there's just we need a
better way to find doctors who we connect to instead of just
being. Like, I'll go see this one that
actually has an opening. I mean, we're in America where
your choices are limited to your insurance company.
So, like, in a perfect world, yeah, but that's not always the
reality in America for sure. I think I have this in another
section, but Oh yeah, I'll wait till we get to the doctor's.
Nevermind, I have comments on this when we get to the doctor's
behavior, but go ahead. So the way that the room is set
up, I I really love the way they shot it because it looks like
they they are in different places.
You don't even notice that they're in the same room until
later. And when we get a wide shot of
them, you you realize that they're sitting way too close,
even in a waiting room. Like they're they're just too
close. I don't understand the setup,
but anyway there's also like this line in between them and
it's like just too perfect to like split the difference that I
don't. It has to be done on purpose
because like you know what I mean like the the one who's like
the brick wall on the other side's like more white.
So that's why when we have the close up shots it looks like two
different areas but we. Realize it's just like a split.
Down the middle and then, like, it still kind of looks like it's
too different and like, just spliced together.
But then you realize, you know, their knees are knees are about
to touch. They're way too close.
Like what writing room is. It's a New York waiting room.
They didn't pick the. Building it just came like that.
Space is limited. It's a waiting corner.
Yes. And then Gretchen being Gretchen
in the beginning ends the scene by misgendering Vero because
Vero is saying how. OK, so Gretchen is like, I guess
all women hate the gyno and Vero's like, not a woman.
But yeah, accurate. So we're starting off strong
with the misgendering. But you know what?
I have faith in Gretchen. So let's.
Yes, let's talk about Gretchen and her gyno, her experience.
And I love that. Sorry.
Her gynecologist actually asked what gender her partners tend to
be like. You would think that this would
be a question that all doctors ask, but it isn't.
And then also tend to be like sexuality is fluid, so, like
where are we trending towards at this moment so she can give her
better care. And so Gretchen then shows how
little she knows when she says men, obviously.
And this reminds me of the scene in Sex Lives of College Girls
where Renee Rapp, as Leighton says, when they're going around
asking people's pronouns. And she shows up to the Women's
Center, I believe. Vero's there too, just FYI.
Yeah. And Rico, sorry, not Vero.
Rico. Sorry.
So Renee Rapp says she her obviously.
And then they get a lecture from Midori Francis about why that's
like, terrible to say obviously after that.
And then, conveniently, Vico was also in that scene.
Like, when there's a scene like that, Vico is right there.
But I'm. To get a lecture from Midori
Francis. Oh, Midori, I cannot wait to
talk about that show. Anyway, I'll go off ranting
later. OK, so now we're gonna get into
the fun, goofy stuff while the gyno is giving Gretchen her
breast exam. Gretchen is trying to ask though
why she is throwing up during sex, but you know, doesn't fully
hear any response from the gyno because she is too busy getting
turned on by the exam that is happening.
Yeah, so now Gretchen is even more nervous around the gyno and
for some reason she thinks the gyno has to be a lesbian since
she got turned on and the poor gyno got way more than she
bargained for in this session. Absolutely.
My favorite line is when or what?
I have a lot of favorite lines in the show.
One of my favorite lines is when Gretchen is trying to ask the
gyno if she's a lesbian. And the gyno is like, Oh yeah,
Oh yes. I know what you're saying.
Board certified. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Oh, of course.
Yep. That's that's what I was trying
to get at there. Uh huh.
Yep. Oh God, I don't think I want to.
Skipping that. Oh, and then she just starts
like, what was I? Sorry, hold on.
OK, so when during the scene she's giving her an internal
exam and that goes over even worse than the breast exam and
Gretchen is finding out some things about herself in this
moment. So do you want to bring up the
line that stops this exam? Yeah.
So then again, another another favorite line is she's like,
like you were just saying. She's like all of a sudden it's
like this dramatic, like weird old sexy music type situation
that comes up. And we're in so fantasy land.
Yes, like complete fantasy land not happening.
It's like a. What would you call that like a?
It's like a red Room type, like there's whips in the background
and like all this like. Love snap.
I'm doing these. Yeah, yeah, Yeah.
And then at one point, she's like, stop, I can't do this.
You're a woman and like she's the guy knows like whoa hold on,
would you realize a male in in real life?
Yeah. It like cuts to like actuality
what's actually happening. And the guy knows like, whoa,
sorry, would you prefer a a male guy know And Gretchen's like, EW
no no, that's not not what I want.
No. No one wants that.
No. It's just it's so it.
I love the like the the cut seat, like it just cuts from one
part like from fantasy to reality and it just, I don't
know. I really like the editing and
the acting for this. It must have been really, really
funny to film and like have that interaction between the two
dynamics of it. It's very.
Funny, I need the bloopers in general for this show, 'cause
you know there is some shit. I'm sure it's incredible.
My favorite moment from that whole scene, so is when Gretchen
has an accidental O during this exam and starts screaming.
She's trying to, like in her brain, stop this from happening
and she's like dead kittens all of a sudden.
And then she eventually gets to Mitch McConnell, which is
hilarious, number one. But then as she's coming to
that, he's like the devil. So she's trying to like, stop
this. And then like, screams Mitch
McConnell out loud and the doctor's really confused and
she's like, it's not Mitch. It's never Mitch that.
Was such a. It's annoyed.
I love how she do it. It's like it's not Mitch.
It's never. Mitch, it is never Mitch.
Cause like the doctor figured out what happened and he's like,
Doctor's like, oh, that's never the point of this exam ma'am.
Just like anyway. Thought she was fantasizing.
About Mitch McConnell to make this happen.
And she's like, absolutely not. That's not what's happening.
Good luck meanwhile. Vero is in their own room with
their gyno, so Vero's gyno is trying to be open and inclusive.
But you can tell she hasn't been around many members of the
community and definitely hasn't met a non binary person before.
I mean this is very clearly evident.
So she starts by dead naming Vero, which I wanna know why a
questionnaire that asks someone for their gender identity
wouldn't have a preferred name section as well, it just seems.
Again, we're in America, so I'm assuming it has to do with like
what's on the character's Social Security card as their name and
what's linked to their insurance.
So, like, maybe that's what pops up in their system.
It's like a government identification name versus like,
yeah, 'cause like, usually in the charts.
Like, they don't always have preferred names.
Some computer systems don't have that capability.
So like it might just be like a. System does it take that much to
update the? System depends.
Yeah, I can. Fine.
OK, so then she assumes that Bureau is a guy because they
check the transgender option and if you're trans, you can only be
the opposite gender. And when Vero says that their
pronouns are, they them. Oh my gosh, the doctor says,
Well, lucky me, I thought I was only seeing one patient today.
And then poor Vero looks exhausted.
Like first of all to have to explain this to everybody
because you know that this is has to be a common thing and
their their gyno immediately knows they forked up like it it
yeah it's not going well. It's being non binary is not the
same as like multiple personalities as like a system.
Anyway, if I was in Vera's position, I probably would have
just let let it go that believe that was the end of my sense.
But, and actually no, I I I probably would stay very
uncomfortable and not talk unless I needed to.
I was like, at this point I'd be like, I give up, This doctor is
who they are, but whatever. Would you?
I imagine Doctor imagine Vera's been through this a bunch of
times and just like, yeah, it sounds exhausting to have to
keep like correcting people and like, but Vera's like.
Very upbeat and persistent at the end of the day.
Which? I don't know if that's true of
everyone. Like you said.
Like, you get like fatigue from doing this over and over and
over again. But yeah, like, unfortunately,
like, we are in a world where a lot of people just don't know
about this or are learning it for the very first time.
And like, yeah, it does. It requires more work to, like,
guide people, correct people. Like, it's like a foreign
concept to some people, you know?
Yeah, I need a pause really quickly.
Sure. Are you recording on your end,
Adolphi? Nope.
So then yeah. So my experience with going to
the the doctor and stuff like that with being trans in some
way and using they them pronouns and it's I've had doctors like
specifically ask me do you use like other pronouns what are
your pronouns. And then I I tell them and then
I even have written my preferred name, which I use Cole and like
done all that kind of stuff for it.
And then they start getting into the exam, whether it's a like
just a physical or a any kind of specialty or whatever.
They start going by like biological sex terms and using
that kind of those those kinds of words and stuff.
And it's it gets to a point where it's like for me
personally, I'm able to dissociate more in these kind of
situations at the doctor when they keep everything with one,
when they don't flip back and forth from using like using they
them pronouns talking to me and then using like female
identifiers just because it that's harder for me to pull
myself out of. If they use everything female,
it's just biology that they're talking about and they're just
talking about like the physicality of what's going on
and how to do whatever tests that they need to do.
Because unfortunately people are like males and females do have
some differences in like what tests and what the levels should
be and all that kind of stuff. So anytime I've had to go to the
doctor and I do have some health things and that I've had to be
tested for you, you need to fit within a certain thing otherwise
your your levels are off and you might have symptoms of something
that you might not otherwise. So I can dissociate from like.
I can pull myself away from the language that they use when I
think of it very biologically and scientifically, versus if
they then put my like pronouns like it is uncomfortable.
But when, like when they use the wrong pronouns, it is
uncomfortable and I don't like it and I wish they didn't.
But it also makes it a little bit easier to think about it in
a sciency way, if that makes any sense.
Yeah. No, it definitely does, Yeah.
Thank you for sharing your experience because obviously we
do not have it ourselves and your input's very valuable for
this because it's another take. Yeah, and this is just.
My experience, if other people feel differently about it, then
that is of course like I don't. Speak for everybody.
Yeah, we can, all of us. We can only speak for our own
experiences. OK, so Vero does not get doesn't
shut down. When this happens, Vero starts
drawing diagrams trying to explain gender identity to the
gynecologist. And the gynecologist is like
relaying things back. And it sounds like she's
learning everything. And then she's like, it's like a
tomato, is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable?
And like the whole thing, it just negates all the progress
Bureau made. So naturally they continue their
queer lesson instead of stopping.
And the cutest part is when the gyno is learning about other
pronouns and tells and gets the call that her next appointment
is there and she just runs over to the phones, like, cancel
everything. They have way too much to learn
today. Like she's got a she's too busy
in the queer education. So when they're done, the gyno
tells them that they should be a queer educator professionally.
And then the match is lit and the light bulb goes off.
Because I love that Vera's thing is, well, that would be easier
than being a trans gynaecologist.
So like, yeah, let's do that. So this scene, like, while it's
hilarious, it does have a lot of good points that we've covered.
I think that this type of interactual phase out over time
because part of medical education now, at least in
California where I practice, involves diversity, equity,
inclusion or DEI training, which includes teaching people.
About. People being incoming young
physicians, AKA like medical doctors about preferred pronouns
and identities and why that's important as part of holistic
care. So while you're upset about
this, Kayla, I think like this will phase out because this is
is being taught to the next generation of physicians.
So this will go away over time. And I see my own, you know,
physicians that I work with, the young ones that are training
like doing this and they present this on rounds to us unprompted.
So like this is part of medical education that will this type of
interaction will be a thing of the past.
As cause like this is getting a lot more normalized with the
recent graduates. So when they're presenting, like
at least on my team, we do what's called table rounds.
We don't, I don't round in front of the patient, we round in a
room with our whole team, 'cause it's a team that takes care of
the patient. And so when they're presenting,
like if it's a trans patient, they will use the correct
pronouns the entire time. The patient is not there to hear
any of this. So just so you know and like
when they're charting, they use the right pronouns.
So it's like, it's it just becomes normalizer, like that's
what you want to be called. Great.
And they will just, they'll do it unprompted.
So I feel like this is a thing of the past the scene to be
honest. That's great, but I just, I feel
like there's a lot of more old school doctors still out there.
Have you seen like anybody push back on something like that?
I work in California. No.
Yeah, that's true. No, they're just like that's the
patient great and they just go with it.
Even the attending should have been here for a while, so.
And not just California Fiora. San Francisco, yeah.
But I shouldn't say that. And then for trans gynecologists
and things like that. So, yeah, So hopefully that does
translate into like physicians being more accommodating for
every kind of patient that comes in particularly in these like
uncomfortable like type of specialties #1 like, yeah, So
hopefully that helps. I don't know that there is a
network where you can find specific.
I know there is for psychologists and things like
that, but not medical doctors. Cause again in America, it's
tethered to your insurance and what is covered and you're kind
of stuck. I mean, if you get lucky to have
the insurance that you can go anywhere, right?
Which is really expensive, Which is they do?
Have specific like trans care doctors, they have a network for
that like like online that you can search up and different
doctors that do again trans related stuff for like top
surgery and stuff like that. So people do end up traveling
out of their state and most of the time end up paying out of
pocket because exactly what you're saying, In order to find
the access to healthcare that they're looking for and needing,
they have to pay out of state because they can't get it where
their insurance covers. Yep.
Hopefully one day our well, one day our health care system gets
better that that might be too much of A stretch, just that
more people are educated and they don't have to travel out of
state for something like that. But that's that's a whole
another conversation. That is another conversation.
The America North, United States.
Cause America is, yeah, more than just the United States, but
we. Yeah.
Anyway, all right, so the last scene in this episode is
Gretchen and Vero getting ready to leave the gynecologist.
Gretchen is like chugging down water.
Because, you know, that was a lot.
And Vera was just, like, so happy.
Like Vera looks like a puppy right now.
Like, yeah, I'm so excited. And Vera tells Gretchen that
that gynecologist appointment just changed her life.
And Gretchen goes, yeah, me too. Oh my God.
It's The humor in this show is just so, like dumb but good.
Like like it's not clever or like super amazingly well.
It's just on point and, like, good.
It's so funny. I think some of it's clever.
And I would say it's clever, I mean.
Clever's not the right word, sorry.
It like, what's the word for it, then?
Like, like linguistic? Like it's not elaborate.
Clever. Like elaborate, elaborate, humor
or any. I don't know.
Never mind. It's not British humor, we'll
say that which is like linguistically witty or witty,
layered, layered jokes like 30 Rock would be that, yes.
That's thank you. It's it's just naturally funny.
I feel like, like finding the jokes and everyday things, and I
think that's what makes it even more relatable as well, 'cause
it's like things that we might even like, think on the inside
or Daydream about. They just do it on screen.
Yeah, it's a lot of situational humor.
Like, that was a situation, like a good situation where they had
the two characters converge for that joke kind of thing, yeah.
OK, so the next episode starts off with the bang.
We start with Gretchen freaking out to Kevin about her
experience with the gyno. Literally, like, what do you
mean you came at the gyno? She's like, it's pretty
self-explanatory. I had a oh.
OK, my life has changed. I've seen lesbian Jesus.
Here it is. And at last I see the light.
It's like the thug has lifted. You know what?
That song works perfectly here. It's the first time in forever,
Caitlin, yeah? Oh shit, we are.
Blame Gretchen. Anyway, eventually she tells him
my guy knows a woman and his his realization of what Gretchen is
saying is priceless. Like, I don't know why he didn't
even think about this in the 1st place, but whatever.
But no, Gretchen can't be a lesbian.
She's dirty. Like what?
That's at least her excuse. But spoiler darling, that
doesn't matter. No, it doesn't.
But I love that she said it because I would imagine that
coming out later in life could feel like this major identity
crisis moment where she it's more than just like, what the
fuck just happened. It's like, who am I?
Like, who am I? To have that realization at 30,
a third of the way through your life is like, wild, like that's
a lot, you know? Especially 'cause she's having
this conversation with Kevin, who's presumably known her for a
very long period of time. So like, the whole thing is just
like, I don't even know myself like that.
That's a lot. Yeah, I was gonna say something,
but I forgot what it was. Nice.
I'm also here for the later in life coming out storyline.
That's always fantastic, 'cause it's any age, it doesn't matter.
You just discover yourself. It's great.
Yes, and we also need more representation for that because
I feel like everyone feels like they need to come out when
they're younger. I feel like everybody feels like
they need to. I feel like everybody also feels
like they need to write stories about kids in high school.
Let's talk about adults. Adults can get into wild
situations, too. They're.
I want to read. Not read.
I want to watch like, well, I guess it would be Grace and
Frankie 'cause I believe that's I love.
Yeah, I know that's Grace and Frankie the The Husbands came
out later in life. Yeah, I've seen a few episodes.
I love that show. Exactly like, you know, shows
like that. Part of LIKE.
High school kids like move on. Everybody writes High school,
like, come on, you can come out when you're 30.
It's way funnier. Not that it's funny when you
come out and you're 30, but like the situations they can get in
because they're not tethered to school.
And the possibility is weird because they do like you've
brought up in many episodes, that they treat high schoolers
like adults. Like they're in college and it's
like, no, this is a minor, exactly.
Like here we are. We're like, they can just go to
bars, They can go to random burlesque, like dancing.
You can't do that as a child. Like, it's just, I'm here for
this. I like this is what I appreciate
about the show. They decided to do this with
adults because yeah, this can happen when you're adult too and
it's it's it's different to navigate and you can just, I
don't know, I'm, I'm here for this.
It's a bigger world, in my opinion, like narratively.
I I also love Kevin's thing. Trying trying to get Gretchen to
accept or admit that she's a lesbian.
Gretchen's not having it, but Kevin says if I were a lesbian,
I'd have a 5 cats with a Butch named Butch.
And one, it's funny, but two, it also shows how much he is living
in stereotypes, which is important for later.
So like, he's like an embodiment of a stereotype.
I feel like yes. So that is something to keep in
mind. So while Gretchen is in deep
denial about being a lesbian because, again, she's 30, again,
it's OK. I'm waiting for her to pull out
BuzzFeed and take a quiz, Nick Nelson.
Style. OK, but question what is her
result? Is she 62% homosexual like Nick?
Or is she more like Quinn Sam where she's like off the charts
queer? Like the score is like, we can't
even score you. You're so gay.
You're like greater than 100%. Well, that guy.
No colleges. We're on Sam's level.
I think we're in Sam territory here.
She's got the series. Yes, and in case anyone
listening, it's two shows we've covered previously.
So Nick Nelson from Heart Stopper and Kuhn, Sam from Gap
the Serious. Check that shit out.
Yeah, if you like, super gay. Stuff.
Go check that out. Yeah, they're both.
Very both. Of them are super gay.
Very gay, Yes. All right.
So then she finds her old diary and it's not a burn book.
Don't make that mistake. So her old diary proves that she
has always been a baby lesbian. Always.
Like, yes. And like, isn't that a natural
thing to go through? Like you think back on your
childhood and you're like, well, shit, I've been this way the
entire time. The thing is, her parents also
knew, which is why they sent her to a conversion camp when she
was little. They didn't even like tell her.
They're like, just in case she doesn't know.
We're not gonna, like, tell her this is what we think.
We're just gonna do this and like, hopefully brainwash her.
But I I really wish, and she should have had her, but I'm a
cheerleader moment at that camp. I'm just saying.
Then I really liked there's a family.
I really liked the the line where she was reading from the
note, the diary that she had. And she's like, Billy wanted to
hold hands on the playground. And she's like, oh, look, see
here, look, I'm not. Gay.
And she's like Mary. I practiced kissing instead, so
I just love the writing in the show.
It's so funny. I want to comment that my mom
tells me a story from when I was like in kindergarten that my the
this guy. Well, I mean, this little boy,
'cause we were tiny, tried to hug me on the playground and I
just shoved him. Nice.
Yeah, apparently he tried to kiss me on the bus or something
like that too. I don't understand it.
I don't know. That was a whole world that was,
you know, heteronormativity, weirdness put on a child.
Like, that was my boyfriend when I was little.
Gross. That's shove him.
Yeah, yeah. And I love hugs.
So like, that was a big deal. That's.
Yeah, gross. Anyway.
Yeah, he basically said everything I was gonna say.
But I'll say the fucked up part about this was that the fact
that her parents sent her to that conversion therapy camp
without her consent because she didn't know why she was going
there. So I think that is super fucked
up that that happened to her. And she's just like now,
realizing it decades later that like, her parents basically sent
her to like forced therapy and she didn't realize that that's
what was happening. Like, that part's super fucked
up, yeah? So then I wanted to bring up
there was a dog in this that you did not mention in the next
scene. It like cuts over to the next
scene and since Vero is a dog Walker, they started the scene
coming back from the the title scene, like the the these them's
title scene as like a break up scene and you're like who's
who's Vero talking to? It's a little Boston terrier
that they're like saying that they can't be a dog Walker
anymore and it's super, super cute.
The dog I think does like a little trick like a spin or
something. I don't remember what it was but
it was super cute. And then you go back to talking
about Gretchen, It's fine. I mean, the dog is very cute, of
course. I was very distracted while
watching it and the dog being on the screen, you can see that in
a reaction video as well, because I'm like, look how cute
the dog. I mean, if there's a dog, I will
watch. Absolutely.
That is healthy. Or I can get me to watch
something. OK, so now we're going to go to
Asher. Asher has an account at work
that is an LGBTQ company. I believe it's called Babe Town
and his Co worker, I think it's actually his boss, asked him to
babysit his cat named Pickles. What a name for a cat.
Yes. I named.
I named my foster cat pickle. That's cute.
Did he look like? There you go.
No, it was orange and white, OK. Little people.
All right, so I find it ironic that we went from a scene where
Kevin was using a lesbian stereotype about cats and now we
have a straight guy talking about having a cat.
And I just like the way that that contrasts each other.
That's a good point. And his boss also says the only
LGBT person. OK, no, I can't just say this
quickly. All right, so Asher is asking
his boss like, if they're gonna look for someone who's in the
community to take over this Babe Town account and his boss
responds, well, the only other LGBT or I don't even think he
says that the only other person that he knows is, Oh my gosh,
what is the lie? He basically it's just like he
the only one is the oh, Leslie, the Leslie.
And he's like, please don't tell HR this, this this conversation
never happened. Like, he knows right away that
that was wrong to say yeah. So in this theme, the boss asks
Acher if he knows anyone else who's like, queer, basically.
And Acher like interestingly balks at the question, like he
freezes. And I found this relatable
having been in situations where it felt unsafe to come out,
particularly like at work. And like even if it does feel
safe, like there's still that trauma response reflex to just
be quiet and pass. And I feel like that's the
position that Asher is in. So it's it's really is a hard
habit to break. And you can see that Asher is
very conflicted. By this like.
Asher wants the opportunity, wants to like work on something
within his community. But like, there's that reflex of
just being like, I'm finally passing, like I don't wanna like
ruin everything and be like the weirdo like.
And Asher says that later. He's like, I'm like the only
brown person in the office to like, to have to like, then be
the trans brown, like that's a lot, you know?
So like, I feel bad for Asher at this moment, but it is, this is
a real situation that also like really does happen.
That's like, even when it's safe, it's still there's that
party that like, is it though, you know?
Is anything ever truly safe? No, So I can't fall at her for
his behavior here. Not at all.
OK, so back to Kevin and Gretchen.
Kevin takes Gretchen to Henrietta Hudson bar.
And girl. Not girl.
Girl. Yeah, yeah, it's a real place.
Just so you know, this is a real place in New York.
I believe they try to. Highlight different places that
were like are real. And just like moment of
appreciation for like the interior that is quote the
hottest lesbian bar and it's basically just like this
mismatched dive bar which is the most lesbian thing ever.
So it just I love the realist, the realism of the bar itself
also. And we get a really great Gay
Christmas Carol from Kevin. And I'm just sitting here
wishing this was happy a season. Now, would you like me to sing
this or would you like to sing this, Cole?
Oh, you can sing this. OK.
So Cole has graciously provided me with the Gay Christmas Carol.
It goes FA La La La La la lesbian yay.
OK, so this whole time, like he's trying to get her to flirt
with someone to embrace her lesbianness.
So she's Gretchen goes up to the first girl she sees and asks her
if she wants to scissor. Like that's not even a Hi.
Hello. How are you?
What? What do you like to do?
You want a scissor. I would imagine she's used to
flirting with men and like that would work.
With men you're just like you want to fuck and they're like,
yeah, let's leave. Like, I'm sure like that's where
she's coming from. She's like all that's the only
experience she has. And so, like with non men,
there's more conversation that goes on.
Usually I don't remember. What I was going to talk about
like, I don't remember what that.
No problem. OK, so after this very awkward
interaction turn, and apparently the bar's a lot bigger than I
thought it was. I thought there was a wall
there. But no, Apparently there's a
pool table and another room. So she then spots Vero and then
misgenders that. We still haven't gone through my
pronouns. Are they them with Gretchen?
So to be fair, Gretchen still doesn't understand.
But also like, to be fair to Gretchen, Gretchen keeps seeing
Vero in, like female spaces. And so like, it's that reflex.
It's like, oh, you're at the gyno.
Women come to the gyno. Oh, you're at a lesbian bar.
Women come to lesbian bar. So, like, to be fair to
Gretchen, like the situations are kind of like also leading
her there to be like, Oh yeah, less person at bar.
That's for lesbians. Lesbian, you know.
That is very fair. The next thing, Vero also
misjudges Gretchen and assumes that she's just an awkward
straight girl at a lesbian bar. And something that I really like
about this that I just thought of is that I'm glad that they're
not making Vero seem like the perfect person in the LGBTQ
community. Because, like, you can be
biased. What is it?
Unconscious bias. And like, just normally, like we
all live in stereotypes. It is hard not to think like
that when they're so ingrained into society.
So like, even someone who is more open can, like, catch
themselves thinking like that. Luckily, Vero does realize it.
And then you just you correct yourself.
You apologize for misgendering or thinking something that isn't
actually true. Yeah, no, that's a really good
point. Like people make assumptions
all, all the time. It's like it's it's how our
brains are hard wired to stay out of danger.
Like you just put, that's why. Like that's why we do put things
in boxes because it's like thrive threatening, not life
threatening. And like we've expanded and made
different boxes. But like you said, Caitlin, it's
all about everybody is learning and unlearning things.
So like, yeah, I agree, I I I like that they showed that this
goes both ways. You know, not, I mean just in
general like people in the community, people coming into
the community, people out of the community, everybody's like
making assumptions because that's just kind of how we work
and then but do we learn and move on and grow from that?
Like, that's really the point, you know, that's I think the.
Thesis of the show, really. Assumption was the word.
That. I should have used.
Thank you. Meanwhile, Kevin is going after
Asher. Kevin is starting has the first
move on Asher. Just wanting to point that out.
By pointing out the nice leather daddy vest thing.
That or I don't remember what it was.
I don't know what it. Was it was a a vest that he made
though He was like, look, I made this and turns it around and
it's a naked man on the back. Oh, I couldn't figure out what
the what what it was on the back.
Yeah, it's a naked man in a like a leather.
But I love that that's what he put on Gretchen.
She. Gretchen.
Didn't have any. Gay stuff.
Like if you put her in the most, like, gay boy thing he could
find, which I find really weird. Yes, he's trying.
Kind of. That's I feel like that's him
this entire. To be fair, he also like, is
like allergic to women, basically.
So like, why would he know how to help her dress like a
lesbian? He wouldn't.
He's like the worst person for that.
Yeah. She's like, this is what I would
wear to pick up dates. You put this on again showing
that like they're we're not all the same.
There's differences. Like we don't always speak each
other's languages. Like we're all we're a diverse
group of people who have diverse experiences.
You know, here it is now. It's funny.
So from here Vero and Gretchen sit on the stoop outside and
they are having a nice little conversation and Gretchen is
feeling confident enough and not does not ask Vero to scissor,
but does ask Vero to if they want to go out again.
But you know, leave the best friends behind this time.
Yeah, she she does not want to hang out with their gay
sidekicks because, you know, Vero seems like a good time.
But Vero says that they aren't in a place to go out with
someone freshly out, which is fair.
I don't have any experience with this, but I I've heard a lot of
people say that. It's a lot of work, yeah.
Which is interesting coming from Bureau, because Bureau's like, I
want to guide straight people through this.
So I'm like, you're the person who wants to take on the
emotional labor of other people. Though it's it's weird that you
don't want to do it here. But I agree with you Caitlin.
Like, it's a valid thing to be like, I'm not here to be your,
like, lesbian Jesus intro to being queer.
Go figure that shit out and then come back to me when you're more
emotionally stable. Like, that's valid.
But like coming from Vero, it's kind of weird actually.
I think it's more like separating work and home.
Like Vero wants to do this but not have it be their whole life.
Like dating someone who's freshly out maybe.
Like it's more like working 24/7 to like introduce her to
everything and I don't know. Maybe.
But they end up compromising, and Vero is going to help
Gretchen figure out the gayborhood instead.
So basically, Vero is preparing. Not fully, because Vero wants to
train the straights, not train the gays how to be gay.
But you know, it's a good starting place.
Gotta start somewhere. And Gretchen needs it.
Absolutely. All right, so.
Episode 30. Gosh, the show is really good.
Vero is now testing out their queer education lessons on
Gretchen. And there is a lot to learn.
Like a lot. Like there's so much.
I'm like, what are these terrorists?
I've heard of most of them but don't fully know this.
So like, I need this lesson as well.
Vero, please could you? I need them to release like
this. Full two hour.
Lesson 47 minutes of this. No 'cause that's only one of the
breaks there. It's definitely like at least
two hours long that they were doing.
It you're right, you're right. But it's so overwhelming that I
don't even know how to summarize this scene.
What I really like to go off of that is they they captured that
feeling well like it's supposed to be kind of funny how it's
filmed and everything, like it's supposed to be kind of silly.
But they did also capture that like overwhelming stepping into
this community and you're just thrown all these terms and like
I don't know I I just I really like how they they they used
editing and and stuff to like kind of show obviously time
passing and the amount of information that they're trying
to throw out at throw at you and everything.
It's very good, yeah. And I like that they did this
specifically with another queer person.
Because again, the assumption is that, oh, all queer people are
well versed in all of this. And it's like, that's not true
at all, which is the whole point of Kevin, honestly, to show
that, like, not everybody is down with everything and not
everybody knows everything, even in the, even as a member of the
community. So I like that.
It's showing it with two queer people being like, here's
everything and the and it's overwhelming for queer people to
be like, wow, this is a lot, you know, it's not just this or
that, 'cause you go into the straight world.
It's this or that. There's two choices and you're
just done. This is just like, hey, this is
like the complexity of, like, life, basically.
So yeah, I agree. They did a good job showing it's
overwhelming and then showing it from queer people's perspective
to be like, hey, even we get overwhelmed because this is a
lot. It's a process to learn all this
stuff, and that's OK. I love the.
Drawings too. They were like the artwork that
was done I I liked. I don't know.
I just like. It is a lot.
I mean, it's just being willing to learn.
I think that's the most important part of being an ally
in general is the openness to willing to learn.
That was a sentence that was not anything coherent.
So let's continue. So it's important to note in the
scene that out of I think it's closer to two hour presentation,
Vero forgot about the buys, which they say is typical.
And I I really do feel for all the bisexuals out there of
there's so many things like oh the BI people are just gay, they
just don't realize it yet or something like that.
Like you deserve to feel seen and I'm glad there is more
bisexual representation coming out now agreed.
But the the joke is it's hilarious and very sad at the
same time. It's.
I think it's the delivery too. Like the delivery of of how,
Like how Vero says it. He's like, typical.
Like it's just I. Don't know.
And then Gretchen trying to, I guess, reiterate like what was
going on and learned about CIS men and she was like, is that
the, like our leader or something at the Hidden Bureau's
like girl? No, the opposite is just so the
delivery. And oh, it's so funny.
The first time you hear that term, though, you're like, what?
What? Because you're like there's a
term for people who are, like, the typical way in society.
What Anyway? Which I find really weird
because then you're like trans people and then you're like,
yes, I understand that. But then you're like, OK, so
then what's the term for not trans this?
And like if you've taken math classes, like you use these
terms. So I'm like, I was always
confused why people were confused.
I'm like yeah that did you not learn this in math class?
What the hell, I wonder? Remember using that.
CIS angle, trans angle. It's like it's in geometry.
So I was just like these are math terms, what do you like?
I learned this in like middle school, so I was very confused
why people are confused by this. I wonder if Gretchen was
thinking it was Sis men like sis like sister?
Oh yeah, no, that would make sense.
Because if you like this, men, yeah, it sounds like cuter in a.
Yeah. And they would be the leader
like because men, it's not true, but like men are seen as the
leaders or whatever. So I don't know, I I think I
think that might be what you what the interpretation is
supposed to be. But it's fair.
But like, poor Aggression's brain is gonna explode from all
this info like it's a lot. Yeah, and as I said already, I
really, really like how this was edited and how you get all those
cuts and everything and it like passes the time and you get like
the breakdown of how many minutes has passed pretty much.
And it just adds to the like the dramatic feeling and and the the
the feelings of over overwhelm as well.
Yes, the Aura's favorite time passage is the 47 minutes.
I love. That it's just so random.
I just love that they picked a random manager and they're like
this and I'm. Like, good job.
OK, so Gretchen is trying to figure out where she fits in
this like web of queerness and is having a hard time with it.
And this feels very relatable and it gets confusing if you
don't fit in a label exactly. And that's why, like, we have so
many terms, because it's so hard to, like, figure out exactly who
you are. And some people don't need
these, and then other people need to find a term to describe
them. Because I think I'm like that as
well, 'cause if I can't, don't have a term to know about
myself, I feel like there's something wrong with me.
Like there's no one else who feels or thinks like me.
So I find labels helpful just for myself.
But that's not everybody's case. Yeah, I I agree.
I I like labels as well for myself.
Like I I like it helps me categorize myself and like
understand different aspects to and putting words to my my being
or my personality or something. But I really like how she comes
up to comes up with her label. So she's kind of pointing at the
there's like a the whole all the pictures on the walls of like
different labels that she could be.
It's like femme and Butch and genderqueer and trans and and
just and pictures to lip. I think they had lipstick on
there. They have something.
They had like. Everything there.
Yeah, so she's just kind of, like pointing at it and she's
like here and queer. Like she just kind of like
really confused. And then beer's like, yeah, like
perfect. So it was really, it was really
nice that she didn't quite have a specific label, but Vero was
still super like receptive and positive and like you can
absolutely be like that's perfect so.
Yeah. And I think that's important
because if you think about it, she's like 2 days into this
journey. So like, yeah, not understanding
who you are yet is totally fine. Like, she is having a quarter
life crisis right now and trying to re, like, connect with what
her identity is. So yeah, like not having a label
immediately is 100% OK. If you're somebody who like
likes to have a label, 'cause I understand that, like having,
like, language is powerful. Having a term for something can
feel empowering to people. But like, not feeling like you
connect with the only terms you're aware of is also OK.
So for Gretchen, just be like queer.
I don't know which one of these are me yet to be honest.
That's totally fun. And to never identify with one
of them also fine like so I like that they had that for her.
Somebody who's starting on the journey like because everyone
keeps calling her a lesbian but she doesn't like, she's like I
don't even know what I am. I just started this journey
like. All I know is I like Gyno's,
yeah. Or one Gyno Gyno enthusiast.
All right, so meanwhile, Kevin and Asher are hanging out alone
and they are bonding, talking about their likes and dislikes,
and they're generally hitting it off.
They're important to note that you don't have many likes in
common, but they do dislike the same thing, which is people not
using a top sheet. But I would like to defend the
people not using a top sheet, because it just gets annoying.
It just gets thrown around the bed and then when you're making
it, it's just annoying and I hate it, just.
Meanwhile, I'm using like a duvet cover as a top sheet right
now, so. Monster.
I don't use top sheets. I mean, I have to have one
because my partner likes him. But like when I was when I had
my own bed and there's no one else in it, like I didn't even
use a top sheet. It was just a comforter.
It was the bottom sheet that went around the bed and a
comforter and that was it. Because I can't understand that
at all. Man, that's so weird.
You have to have a top sheet. Yeah, I don't, I don't like
sleeping with the comforter either.
I grew up in a household where like the covered the, the, the,
I guess the duvet or whatever you want to call it.
Like was used to keep dust off the bed.
So you like, remove that at the end of the day when you go in
the bed. And then I have like a quilt
blanket and then like a sheet and like that's how I like to
sleep. That is not how I sleep now
because partner preferences like you said, but also it's colder
here. Yeah, I was like you're also
like. From flying I hate having a
giant puffy. I hate I.
Can't sleep without that. That's why I need it to be so
cold, because I need to sleep with a blanket.
And my partner has to have one of those fluffy blankets.
I hate them. I don't sleep with them.
I don't sleep well anymore. Oh, no, it's OK.
That's. What being married is.
Maybe you should just get two separate beds.
That way you can make them separately.
OK. Or just get like the top stuff
separate, it's OK. She's like, I don't care.
Gretchen, How is Vera and Gretchen doing?
So Vera and Gretchen hit to a gay bar.
She get Gretchen laid, 'cause that is top priority.
All right, so now we're gonna finally teach Gretchen about
pronouns, which is I feel like the first thing Vera should have
done with Gretchen. But Vero already did that lesson
with the guy now, so we had to wait a little bit.
Gretchen is continuously using the wrong pronouns for Carrie,
and Vero isn't explaining it to her, which is definitely just
them trying to get a laugh. But it's also a great way to
teach Gretchen not to assume someone's pronouns.
So she's this whole scene. Like to be fair to Gretchen,
there's two people by the bar and like Vero doesn't really
distinguish. So like Gretchen is generally
confused. She's like there's two people
over there. I don't understand.
Like Vera was not helping Gretchen really get to the point
like so I. Don't know, they're just trying
to laugh. This is Vera teasing Gretchen,
who's just genuinely confused. She's like, I don't understand.
Like, yeah. But Gretchen needs a pronoun
class in general because she starts a conversation with
Carrie by asking how are they? And obviously, Carrie's like,
what? How are they?
How are who? Anyway?
So Gretchen nervously goes back to Vero because she's like, what
do I do? I don't know how to handle it,
which I mean fair in general, But Gretchen learns from Vero
that you can ask people their pronouns but not their
sexuality. And Vero relates this to how
Gretchen wouldn't ask Vero about being POC.
And Gretchen responds, no, I educate myself because it's not
your responsibility. And then she probably freaks out
because and asks Vero if that's what she's doing right now, but
Vero just calms her down. She's a very anxious gay right
now and says it's not like that because they offered to help
her. It's a distinguishing fact.
Yes. And I think one of I've brought
this up already. But one of my favorite things
about this whole series is how much it does educate you.
And whether you are straight or even part of the community,
there is something for you to learn.
And they do it in a very funny way.
Or it like, it gives you a starting point like, oh, that's
something I should look into. I don't fully understand what
that term is. Let's figure it out.
This podcast is also great for that.
I learned what queer platonic relationships were this week,
but that wasn't actually for one of our episodes anyway.
So I don't know what I mean this.
You're you're basically saying that it's also relatable, even
if you know it, because it's showing you how you can help
talk to someone and get them to understand.
I was like, what was I? What was my .0?
My goodness, yeah. Thank you.
Theor has done this for me many times.
It's. Like what happened?
And then. But I do love another line here
when when Gretchen comes back over, they're talking to.
TI. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
TI offers, offers Gretchen a drink, and then Gretchen goes
back over to Vero. And still, this is supposed to
be done as humor, but still kind of missing the point of the
pronoun stuff. And Gretchen's like, that is
sexy. Me is scared.
Just her face is hilarious during this whole exchange.
Oh, it's so funny. Yes.
Yeah, This. This.
Whole. Show is great and we are not
even halfway through. We're almost halfway through in
the next episode. So I think this is a good
stopping point for now and we will pick it up in the next
episode. I'm going to bring something
back because we had a few people do it in another series.
So I'm going to bring back the bonus word if you can use this
word without looking up the spelling in either a comment or
a review. The reviews are funnier, but I
we will take comments as well. Use the word soliloquy in a
comment or a review. Natural in just your natural
comment. Figure out how to work it in
there, Make us laugh, We would appreciate it and it helps
engagement. And also send this to three
friends who you think would like it.
Or at least one, but three preferably.
That way we can spread the joy of queer content.
And until next time, hydrate for lesbian Jesus.
And gay it up all over the place.
Bye. And with that, we've been big
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