Hello and welcome to Big Gay Energy.
I'm Bree. I'm Theora.
And I'm Caitlin. Come along with us while we dive
into the fun and nuances of queer media.
Representation matters, and we're here to talk about it.
Just go with what I'm gonna say, all right?
I promise. It's gonna be great.
Well, I'm going with it. I'm scared now.
As you should be All right. Welcome everyone.
We at the Big Gay Energy Podcast have a very important
announcement to make. Today I'm going to share my
screen. That's not the announcement, but
it is part of the announcement. Should I switch to layouts?
Or should we continue with this layout?
I don't know. Whatever lets you see my screen.
Can you see my screen? Yeah, when I put it in the
stream. Then you have to put it in the
street. It's probably gonna be too small
if you do that. Okay.
We have a public service announcement today brought to
you by what's going on in the world.
Are you looking for something to engage with?
That's on TV. What is friendly to all the
people who are trying to strike to get better wages so that we
can keep getting quality television and projects like
Warrior Nun and all the ones we love?
Well, we would like to recommend that you tune into the gayest
thing that's currently on television, which is the FIFA
Women's World Cup. I will say that the descriptor
Women's World Cup isn't exactly accurate because there's.
Not just women playing in this. So we're just going to refer to
this as the World Cup 2023. If you weren't aware, it's
happening right now, and if you're not tuning in, we think
you should, and we have some reasons why.
It's really, really fun. First of all, it's very
exciting. Whenever the world gets together
to compete or do anything, it's fun.
It's like a bonding moment for humanity.
The coverage is really amazing because it's just everywhere,
which is lovely. And there's iconic commercials
that are happening to hype this up.
Have you guys seen the Nike, some of the Nike commercials
that have come out? I saw you repost one on Twitter,
Caitlyn, I think, didn't I? Somebody did the one.
It was me. Was it you?
Yeah, you should probably assume it's the other soccer fan.
Well. I wasn't.
I wasn't sure cuz the message was like, how many takes did
this? And I was like, that's something
Caitlin would ask No, no. Oh my God.
You got both. Of us Bree sneak in it All
right. Explain that commercial, Bree,
if you're not aware, listen, that commercial was that was a
commercial, yeah, yeah, a commercial.
It took place in a like a convenience type store and I
don't know what the product was, but it fell off the shelf and
you know luckily someone just happened to be there that knew
how to, I don't know, trouble it back up onto the shelf
eventually after a a good man that was like a good 30 seconds
of skill and insanity. I don't even know like, I mean
it went up on the shelf, it came down off the shelf.
It was impressive. Yeah, basically the soccer
player was like essentially like like kicking.
It was like a bag of coffee or something and she was like
kicking it and then like doing all these like, tricks that you
would normally do, like no hands and like trying to get it back
on the shelf. And it was just, it went all
over the whole store. Like it was fucking awesome.
Yeah. And I loved that you got the
shot every once in a while from another aisle of the coffee just
coming up. Yes.
It was awesome. There's a lot of really good
commercials. If you saw the one from France,
have you guys seen that one? I.
Barely know what's going. On that's why Caitlyn, we're
trying to hype you up. Caitlyn's our novice.
All right, So the French team, what they did is they
essentially like played out a whole match and it was like.
Men playing and doing all these like, awesome, like goal scoring
and just like defensive moves and stuff.
And then like halfway through the commercial it stops and it
essentially like comes back and it shows you that like, somebody
manipulated the players. And it was actually the women's
team playing the whole time. And they were just like, we
showed you it was men. Because you guys are all about
the men's team and you're like, yeah, they have great skills,
but like that was the women playing and they did this
without talking. So it's like the coolest thing
I've ever seen. They're like.
Yeah, instead of like just rooting for the guys, maybe you
watch the girls too kind of thing, cuz they're just as good.
It's awesome. It's like you don't realize what
you're watching until like halfway through the commercial.
It's it's really awesome. It's just a statement because
that's been a long, long held problem with the inequity and
ghetto sides of the sport. Absolutely.
And the women have been fighting for equal pay for years.
And so if you're supporting the writers, strike for equal pay
and better like conditions, support this as well because
that's what these fabulous people are also doing.
The last commercial I want to talk about, that's really,
really cool. If you haven't seen it, it's
Megan Rapinoe's Nike commercial. They basically turned her into
like Sailor Moon slash a Dragon Ball Z character.
It's like an anime like Stretch and they even have her like.
Fiance slash wife. I don't even know if they're
married. Super.
It makes an appearance in it. It's just fucking awesome and it
has a theme song and it's what she deserves cuz it's her last
World Cup. I was gonna say isn't her last
World Cup. Yeah, so Nike like turned her
into like a superheroes, actually for her last World Cup.
And it's just it's awesome. If you haven't seen any of these
commercials, please Google them all.
They're iconic. I.
Just remembered one. What?
A commercial. OK, it's with this mom and her
daughter, and I guess the mom's trying to explain how amazing
the women are and like, she places these little chips out
and then like, the chips turn into the players.
And I don't know. That's the only one I've seen
and that's what I remember. I I need to I haven't seen the
Megan or Pinot 1. So it's.
It's awesome. The theme song has been stuck in
my head for like days. Oh, maybe I won't watch it.
And I'm just kidding. All right, so if commercials
aren't your jam, there's other reasons to check this out.
Women in suits, but not just suits.
Custom made suits. Just just Is that not a
commercial in and of itself For like why you should be watching
this? I don't just, I mean that's
that's a pretty just be convincing enough.
Custom suits guys, Custom suits. The freaking guys is really
happy. About these custom suits, it
really is. OK, but like the Italian women
when they flew into Australia or New Zealand, everywhere they
started, exactly. They literally got off the plane
wearing suits and there's like footage of this going around and
it's just like how do you look like that getting off of like a
13 hour flight in your suits? I have an additional question.
Since they're Italian, I wanna know who designed the suits.
I think, Armani, I was gonna say it's gotta be, yeah.
Usually every competition they go to, like Armani custom makes
their suits for them. So yeah, women in suits.
I don't think we really need to explain that.
Just Google it. Women's football teams in suits,
just you're welcome. Now we are the Big Gay Energy
Podcast, and we wouldn't be talking about this if queerness
wasn't involved. So here's another fun thing that
happens. Every single time these teams
get together, we have an opportunity to troll straight
people because they can't see the writing on the wall.
Now Caitlyn, since you are a novice to to women's soccer, I
have to explain this iconic tweet.
That went everywhere. I think during the Olympics, I
think it's where this is from, it was.
The Olympics. OK, OK, so setting the stage,
Australia plays the United States.
This was like knockout rounds. Meaning like if you lose you're
gone and the winner advances and Australia lost.
They're the ones in yellow and the USA won.
So these two players at the end of the game, we're doing this
and. Many news outlets were like,
wow, This is why women's sports are so great.
They're comforting each other, and this one person tweets.
Friendship has no boundaries. Win or lose, friends are still
friends. And then the iconic, forever
known reply to this was they're lesbian Stacy's.
These two people are dating. They've been dating for years.
Yes, they have. So Pierre and Muis have been
dating for years. Everyone's like, wow, they're
such good friends and everyone's like gals being pals.
They're dating. What the hell is wrong?
So we get to strolls, troll straight people at least once a
tournament because they can't see the gay for what it is.
Because there's a lot of it, which is really the main point
of all of this. There are so many queer players.
In this sport in general, I can't fit them all on a slide.
There's just there's so many. And this year, because of
injuries, there are many on the field and also off the field.
So if you don't have time to watch or don't know what's going
on, check out the recap show with priests because they're
like a 20 out of 10 as a couple and they'll be commentating on
the whole thing. So like probably explain who
they are beyond their together name.
Should I? OK, so Tobin Heath and Kristen
Press, two players on the US Women's National team.
They've been roommates. Oh, my God, the lure about them.
They're my favorite couple. You can find Deep Dive freaking
threads about this. No.
Like there's like a timeline. OK.
For like when they met and then like for like years.
I mean like if you watch Tobin Heath walk, you're like, that's
not a straight person. So, like watching Theora walk.
Yeah, like, I'm like, there's no way.
There's no way. That's a straight person.
And then her and Kristen. So like, a lot of these players
also play in like a professional Soccer League.
I think it's called NWSL. NWSL, yeah.
And. About, I don't know, like a
couple years ago, like Tobin was playing for the Portland Thorns
and then Kristen, I think was playing for some a team in
California, I think or somewhere else on the West Coast, not in
Portland OR. The two of them were roommates
during the season, which Why are you roommates at somebody who
isn't your teammate? You played a different part of
the country and they also had matching gold rings.
Yeah, Caitlin, what do you make of that?
Well, roommates who wanna have friendship rings and, you know,
be near each other when they're not playing games, obviously
they're supporting each other. Yeah.
In their friendship, yeah. And then they both publicly came
out as a couple, got that long ago.
So it's like the writing's on the wall.
So it's a lot of, there's a lot of drama, is what I'm saying,
And then like you have. Like lovers to temporary enemies
when they have to play against each other.
And it's just it has all the drama and it's unscripted.
It's just right there. How is there not a reality show
about? Women's soccer.
This is a reality show. You're watching it.
They're not dumb enough to agree to do a reality show, no.
Yeah, but the. Lesbians would love it.
We do. Fans would, but the people on
the show wouldn't. That's why we watch this soccer,
Caitlyn, we're already this is a reality show.
We're watching reality unfold. I mean, go back and look at
Ashlyn Harrison ally. Why is my brain?
Oh shit. The first couple with the deep
dive Krieger. Krieger First thing that people
were like, hey, are they? Are they?
They're literally married, and now they're married.
So they played for the Orlando Pride that was my team.
So yes, and so did Marta, who's also on the slide, who's
arguably like, I think Brazilian.
She's Brazilian. She's like the greatest
Brazilian soccer player. Period.
Like she has the most goals, the most.
She's angered a lot of men and I like it.
She's awesome, awesome. Engaged to a woman.
And then we have Quinn who's a Canada superstar and non binary,
one of like the first athletes like I think in this league to
like come out as like or at least publicly announced like
they're not binary. Yeah, so.
It's just great and it's yeah, it's reality.
It's happening. There's so much drama and it's
just super gay. Just just love it.
We don't have time to cover all the gayness.
There's just. So I think there needs to be
more episodes that we do because I'm very confused.
I now know about four players because I watched a game with
Theora last night. I'm jealous.
She didn't know. I just texted.
She didn't know. She was just texting me.
No. Like, at what time is it 9:00?
O'clock for me if you are. I was like, I'm learning about
soccer and then she just got 15 messages of me asking what the
hell was happening. That's hilarious.
Well, I wish I had access to the maybe I'll look but $60.00?
We went to a bar where they were playing it cuz we don't have
cable and I don't like, but I'm glad you brought that up,
Caitlyn. So if we've convinced you that
this is something you should be checking out and you don't know
what on earth is going on, that's OK.
Let's give you a super quick rundown of what this sport is.
So soccer is what we call it in the US of A because we can't do
anything correctly. It's called football or football
everywhere else in the world, because this is a sport you
primarily play by kicking a ball with your feet.
That makes sense. Soccer has the word.
The term comes historically from stuff that I'm not going to talk
about because it doesn't matter. I want to keep this simple.
So really the goal of the game is to take me the ball into the
other team's net, and if it goes, it's the big box with the
net on the back. And if it goes in there, you get
a goal. And that's how you score a
point. That's it.
You have an offense. Those are the players that are
trying to get the ball in the net and then you have people in
the middle and then people in the back.
That's all you gotta know. Any questions?
Caitlin. Yes.
What the hell is an offside? No, don't go there.
That's easy. Hold on, explaining offsides,
here we go. All right, I have a whole list.
Of like documented? No, Caitlyn has questions.
Listen, this is the novice section.
If you have questions, we're here to answer them.
Offsides is confusing. Or offsides.
Really. Offsides.
OK, so can you see my little mouse dancing around?
Yes, I can. OK, so we're going to be the
blue. Let's pretend the blue team.
So this is defense. They're the ones hanging out on
this big box that's painted onto the field.
That's like the Keepers box. Keeper guards the goal.
They're the only player that can use their hands.
It's not a goalie. They're.
Goalie. Same a goalie keeper, same term,
same person. They can use their hands because
they have to guard the big box. They stop the ball.
That's their job, all right. They get boxes to like designate
where people are all right so and then they have defenders,
they defend the goal all right so the way.
Offsides works as if the purple team, the other team comes down
the field because they're trying to score in the blue team's net,
right? OK, if one of those.
So it's would be pretty super unfair if you had one of the
purple players standing next to the goalie the whole time, just
waiting for the ball, right? So to protect the keeper, one of
the rules in the game is called. Offsides.
So what it means is that before the ball is kicked, the other
team, the purple team in this example, has to be next to the
the defender closest to the goalie or like in front of them,
because if they're behind, they're too close to the goalie
and that's unfair. That's what they call offsides.
Does that make sense? I knew that face was coming.
Yeah. So like it's another one of
their players that they can't be behind.
So it's basically a rule for the offensive players, the ones
trying to score, so the they. Can't be too close to the
goalie. That's really what it is, yeah.
So they can't be on the other side.
They can't be between the goalie and the nearest defender to the
goalie. Yeah, so where my mouse is, my
mouse is like in between the goalie and the last defender.
If the purple team kicked the ball towards the goal and that
player was standing right here, that would be considered
offsides because the purple player is closer to the goalie
than the blue team is. Does that make sense?
Well, how far can the goalie go? Goalie can go anywhere, wherever
they want. She can go wherever she wants if
they just. Go to the other side of the
field, then they can go to the other side of the field, then
they'll kick the ball right in the net.
Yeah, it's like, but yeah, they can kick the ball in the net.
From wherever, basically. Caitlin, if that was the case,
like let's say the goalie was like screw this and went up to
the midfield line, her entire team would have to do that too.
Yeah, it's like the last player like this does.
This blue dot doesn't even need to be the goalie.
It's just the last player on that team next to the goal.
It just it's a marker for where the other team can be.
Yeah, yeah, to make it fail. On that team.
Yeah, it's usually. Just played on the other side.
What? That would defeat the purpose.
Of the game, Yeah, defeat the purpose of the game.
But like and, it's probably a rule somewhere that you have to
have X amount of people on your side of the field so that you
can't do that. Have to have.
Is that why those three people were always on the other side of
the field to get the ball? Yeah.
Because, I mean, yeah, if you you, if you crank all your
players up onto this side of the field and somebody just launches
it into the goal, your goal is unguarded and that's a goal.
So that's kind of. Stupid kick that ball.
Really. Yeah, right.
Kick it from wherever. Yeah, so offsides is just a way
to keep it fair between the other teams.
Yeah, scoring players and the goalie and the defense on the
opposite team. That's all it is.
It's just so that they aren't too close to each other.
So it's it's a fair play. That's all that rule really is.
Good. Fine.
What other questions do you have?
How long is this game that keeps going Forever, 90 minutes and
then add on time for stoppage. So if somebody gets injured and
they have to be carried off the field, then they're adding some
time in. Or if somebody fouls and there's
like a few seconds, you know? Yeah, so unlike American
football, which takes 4 hours with actually like 20 minutes of
play time, where they're actually doing stuff because
they blow the whistle, stop the time, blow the whistle, stop the
time, Soccer is not like that at all.
You have two halves. Once they start, the clock runs
for 45 minutes and then they stop.
So if during those time periods somebody gets injured and the
players aren't playing because they have to stop and like send
medics in and stuff one of the referees.
Clocks how much time they weren't playing and then they
tack that on at the very end of the game and they call that
stoppage time because the game stopped.
But like, the clock doesn't stop.
Does that make sense? So it's like at minimum the game
is 90 minutes at maximum. It's like whatever time is added
on after that and then with. Morgan last night, right?
Right. Because she was injured.
There was a couple of injuries where like again, the clock
doesn't stop, but the game stopped.
So somebody else is like, how much time did that take?
So the game last night, they added nine minutes on at the
very end because that's how much time elapsed were injuries were
happening and they had that. They just tack it on at the end
and then once that time is up, the game's over basically,
unless they tie and then they can go into penalties.
But at this point in the World Cup, they're.
It's not a knockout round situation where you need to have
a winner loser that they assign points based on how well you do
and then you like advance or not.
Do they add the time that it takes for them to do
substitutions as well? No, you have to substitute when
there's already a break in the game.
Like the game has to stop. So like if somebody gets injured
and they stop the game, that's that's the time period where you
can sub people in and out. You can't just stop the game and
sub people in and out. Like the game has to naturally
come to a break for you to sub players or a goal has to happen
or. Something last night they're
talking about how the substitutions are going on for
such a long time. So the game so for those of
don't know we're talking about, we were talking about the
Vietnam USA game that happened and that was the very first game
for both of those teams and so this is more like advanced
strategy stuff where like. The USA was ranked higher than
Vietnam. This is Vietnam's very first
World Cup ever. They are very much underdogs.
USA has won half of the cups ever, so they're like top tier.
So one team is much better, more experience than the other.
So the USA, what they were doing is playing their like rookie
team to get them used to playing on the world stage because it's
intimidating and scary to play nationally.
And some of the players yesterday, it was their very
first time doing that. So the USA is trying to like get
those players more comfortable with playing.
Before the the stakes go up, when they play better teams,
essentially no knock to Vietnam, they did great.
It just this is just a strategy thing.
So at the end they were subbing in like more veteran players and
I forget if like, I think they were talking.
About Vietnam doing it. They Vietnam was doing the exact
same thing, like they were just strategically subbing people in
as the USA was subbing in more veteran players to keep the
teams matched. So that's why you heard the
commentary. They're like, oh, this seems
well rehearsed. This is a Strat.
They're strategically subbing people and that's what they were
commenting on. That's all.
That's not a part of, like every soccer game.
It's just the coaches are strategically swapping in and
out players. Some people get tired, some
don't like. There's many reasons to do it.
That's what you were picking up on.
That has nothing to do with soccer as a whole.
All right, well, if you have questions, feel free to reach
out to us and the many people that are literally following us
for this World Cup for some reason.
So if you're convinced and want to join in and all the fun, pick
your team. There are many teams from across
the globe playing in the World Cup in all the groups.
Just Google Women's World Cup 2023 and you'll see all your
teams. The World Cup is going on now
and there's like games I think pretty much every day or every
other day and told the final match on August 20th.
This cup is taking place in Australia slash New Zealand, so
the Times may not always be friendly for you, but what is
sleep anyway? We don't need that.
So I hope you join us for this fun, fun time because we can
actually engage with it and not a cross picket line.
So that's really great. You guys have any final words?
I hope that everyone takes a look and enjoys some of the fun
and then comes and talks to us about it.
Yeah. I will learn football you will.
We got. Well, all right, well, this is
this has been a big gay PSA. Have fun.
And truly, no matter who you root for, the queers win at the
end of the day, because this is just the gayest thing ever.
And it's just. Unscripted.
It just is reality. And it's gay and it's wonderful
and it's awesome. So let's go lesbians.
Let's go 2023. And with that, we've been big
gay energy. If you like this episode, check
out all our other episodes on whatever you're using to listen
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