1 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:10,680 The players in marriage. This hot topic of headship and 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,760 submission. I love talking about this 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:21,560 because every time I talk about it, I feel like God ministers to 4 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:30,000 me and reminds me of what His view is of my role as a husband. 5 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,280 So it's incredibly helpful for me. 6 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,960 I trust that it will be helpful for you. 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:41,520 The key text from Ephesians 5 is there on page 31. 8 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,320 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 9 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,480 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the 10 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:51,080 Lord. For the husband is the head of 11 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,920 the wife as Christ, as the head of the church, his body of which 12 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:59,080 he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to 13 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,240 Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands and 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,800 everything. Husbands, love your wives, just 15 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,720 as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 16 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:16,880 I love the fact that there is a, a charge for us all to submit. 17 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,240 And so sometimes we separate those two like this headship. 18 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,200 And then there's this submission thing. 19 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,360 But actually both need to submit. 20 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,600 We both husband and wife submit submit to one another out of 21 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:38,200 reverence for Christ. So the the paragraph just below 22 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,520 their text is kind of the summary of what I'm going to 23 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,520 cover, but it says in sorry, only in submitting to our 24 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:55,480 divinely assigned gender roles do we discover that marriage is 25 00:01:55,480 --> 00:02:01,720 like a beautiful dance when hot button words like headship and 26 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:08,639 submission are understood and applied correctly with Jesus as 27 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,920 the model for both marriages flourish. 28 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:20,240 Everyone get that? So we we've got God assigned 29 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,280 roles. He's assigned headship and he is 30 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:27,400 assigned submission as the two roles for husband and wife 31 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,600 within marriage. It's his design. 32 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,480 That's what he's given us, and we are to submit to both of 33 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,280 those roles respectively. So the framework that I want to 34 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,960 cover, we want to cover for this morning and this session is to 35 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,640 talk about what was the good that God originally intended 36 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:47,800 because it's always good for us to go back. 37 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,400 This was His originally intended to understand what it was before 38 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,880 sin came in, before the curse of sin found its place. 39 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,560 What was God's original intention then? 40 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:04,280 How men and women corrupt what God intended with the fall. 41 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,680 And then how Jesus comes to redeem things. 42 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:13,640 He redeems all things, including our marriage roles, doesn't just 43 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:17,920 come to redeem our souls. He's a redemptive God in a broad 44 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,560 reality. So our marriages need to be 45 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,720 redeemed because Son comes in to our marriage and it distorts 46 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,880 things and it takes us away from what God intended. 47 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:36,000 But His desire is to redeem our marriage roles and then how do 48 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:41,040 we apply that to our marriage? I did say last night, and Kevin 49 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,720 touched on it this morning, we're not wanting to go too 50 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:48,120 heavy on application because we want to give God's view. 51 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,320 We want to give the biblical reference and we want to put 52 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,920 those parameters in place. And I think God is not big on 53 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,960 giving us all the practical out workings because he is gracious 54 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,600 in his way and He gives us freedom and he gives us space 55 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,720 and He knows that we've got different personalities and 56 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,480 we're all in different seasons of our lives. 57 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:11,440 So actually He allows us to work out within the parameters what 58 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,880 it looks like, but sometimes it is good to just give some 59 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,279 practical application to it. So we'll end with that for this 60 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,920 first session. So God's original intent on page 61 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:28,560 33 we read in Genesis 1 says, then God said, let us make man 62 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:34,400 in our mankind, in our image, in our likeness, so that they may 63 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,600 rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over 64 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,760 the livestock and all the wild animals and over all the 65 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,520 creatures that move along the ground. 66 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:47,200 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God. 67 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,000 He created them, male and female. 68 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,720 He created them. God blessed them and said to 69 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,760 them, be fruitful and increase in #4 the earth and subdue it. 70 00:04:56,080 --> 00:05:00,720 Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and 71 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,440 over every living creature that moves on the ground. 72 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,960 So God's original intent that we get from that passage of 73 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:14,800 Scripture is one of equality. God intended equality. 74 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:21,200 That's why the, the subject of submission is a hot topic and 75 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,120 it's a controversial topic because it gets put in, in a, in 76 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:29,640 a world view context as that there's there's not equality 77 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,600 there. Like the, the headship role as a 78 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:37,400 husband puts the husband on a different level and the wife 79 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,160 just needs to submit. And and this issue of, of 80 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:46,400 equality is distorted. And because that's their wives 81 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:51,720 feel oppressed in that they feel lesser and that's why that's a 82 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,560 subject that they just don't want to talk about and they are 83 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,680 against and they would kick against because it puts them in 84 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,920 a different level. But when we read the scripture, 85 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,760 we see God actually intended equality. 86 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:06,480 So he says let us make mankind speaking about men and women in 87 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:13,880 our image equally made. So just like our image is 3 88 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:20,520 persons, yes, we have different roles to play, we have different 89 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,720 authorities within the roles that we play, but we are 90 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:29,440 absolutely equal as far as divinity and glory is consent. 91 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:35,360 So God makes man mankind has been in life with different 92 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,640 roles, different levels of authority, but absolutely equal 93 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,680 in dignity and in worth. So we go to, we got to put the 94 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:50,640 equality conversation within the context of we are equal as far 95 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:55,200 as our worth, who we are in God, the dignity that he gives us. 96 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,160 We find absolutely equality in that. 97 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,920 That's what he intended. That's why I said let us make 98 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,520 mankind in our image like we are. 99 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,560 Let's make them so equal in how we've been made. 100 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:16,720 Then it says that they may rule over the fresh, but that he may 101 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:22,160 rule over the fresh and that his wife would just be there to cook 102 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,120 so that he's got enough strength to rule. 103 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:29,560 Says they that they may rule. So they're equally given 104 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,200 dominion. Husband and wife is given 105 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,320 dominion to rule equally. There's no distinction. 106 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,120 They've both been given that dominion to rule. 107 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,640 And a little bit further down it says God bless them. 108 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:50,640 God bless the man and the wife happens to just kind of get the 109 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,360 little bit of dregs that falls off the man in terms of the 110 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:59,160 blessing that he carries. He blessed them equally blessed. 111 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:05,360 They're both blessed by God and then said to them be fruitful 112 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:10,800 and increase in number. So they've equally commissioned, 113 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,920 equally made, equally given dominion, equally blessed by 114 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,360 God, and equally commissioned. No distinction in how that all 115 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,800 lays out absolute equality. That's beautiful. 116 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,240 And, and when, when a husband and wife can exist in a marriage 117 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:34,120 in such a way that that equality as far as our dignity and our 118 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,559 worth and how God blesses us, how he has commissioned us, how 119 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,400 he has given us dominion, his righteous dominion. 120 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,360 There's an authority that we share. 121 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,440 We've been made in his image, this absolute equality. 122 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,560 And that kind of settles the are we talking about different 123 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,680 levels here? No, we're not just talking about 124 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:56,240 different roles and different levels of authority, but in 125 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,600 terms of dignity and worth and how God has made us and 126 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,200 commissioned us and blessed us and given us dominion, this 127 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:08,000 absolute equality. Then we look at Genesis one 128 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,400 verse 28. It says God blessed them and 129 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:14,440 said to them be fruitful and increase in number. 130 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,480 And in Genesis 2 he says the Lord God said it is not good for 131 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:23,200 the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable 132 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,920 for him. The intention that we draw from 133 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,280 those two just to fill in the blank and then I'll explain it, 134 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:38,040 is that God intended completion. If you've watched any of those 135 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,000 romantic movies, you know where the the lady will say to the 136 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:47,280 guys, Oh, you're completely you heard that. 137 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:52,560 I mean, there is no more cheesy line in a movie than that, but 138 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:57,280 I've got to give it to whoever wrote it biblical. 139 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,520 There is a completion. There is a completing that takes 140 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,040 place. That's God's intention. 141 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,280 So in in the first verse, God blessed him and said to them be 142 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,840 fruitful. An increase in number. 143 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:14,320 OK, so a simple biology lesson being fruitful is not going to 144 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,760 happen without a husband and a wife, right? 145 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:22,360 My husband on his own good luck and nothing is going to happen 146 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:29,000 to has to come together and in the togetherness there is fruit. 147 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:35,200 So be fruitful and increase in #2's got to come together and 148 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:40,400 complete what needs to be done and what needs to happen for the 149 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,600 fruitfulness to flow. You can't have just the one, 150 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,200 there's got to be the other. So that's on a physical level, 151 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,520 then on a more of a cognitive, emotional level that says the 152 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:56,320 Lord God said is not good for the man to be alone because him 153 00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:01,960 being alone is incomplete. I will make a helper suitable 154 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,160 for him. Now helper, I know it's probably 155 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:12,080 not the best word to use. So in terms of translation, I 156 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,040 mean, that's the word that we've got there, but we've got to 157 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,840 understand what was the original word and what is that trying to 158 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,760 show us. But it's not. 159 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,800 I need a personal assistant helper. 160 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,360 I need someone to help me do the things that I don't really want 161 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:37,200 to do as a husband. So I need a helper that will 162 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:41,200 kind of compliment me because it's all about what I'm up to. 163 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,920 And this helper allows me to do that. 164 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:53,440 This helper, the actual word is, is EZER. 165 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,880 And what that means, it refers to military reinforcement 166 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,480 without which the battle will be lost. 167 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,600 It's a military term. So such as military 168 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:12,200 reinforcement, it's military reinforcement without which the 169 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:16,280 battle will be lost. That's what that word refers to 170 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:22,680 on on many occasions in the Bible, God is referred to as in 171 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:27,160 the original text. So he's that reinforcement 172 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,280 without which we lose the battle. 173 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,960 He is the saviour. He's the one that comes in. 174 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,800 So this same term is used. Yeah. 175 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:42,920 Where the wife is that Azure, that kind of helper. 176 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,280 So like the husband has whatever he has in terms of God's gifting 177 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:52,600 and his ability, but he's incomplete and God puts a helper 178 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:57,480 and his with him that reinforces and that without which this 179 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,760 battle is going to be lost. So that we we come together and 180 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:06,480 in our togetherness, we get to have the victory in God because 181 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,120 we've been put together in this amazing way. 182 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:15,560 I was when wives have an issue around the, the word help, it's 183 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:22,320 like sounds so like help. I was like, well, you know, if 184 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,400 the wife is the helper, then the husband is the helpee. 185 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,640 That sounds a lot worse. He's the one being helped. 186 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,440 And they're like, Oh yeah, I know I'm the helper. 187 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,080 But we got to, we got to realize that it's not, we're not talking 188 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:41,120 about assistance. It's not the assisting help, 189 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:46,160 it's the it's the help in a way that complements that which is 190 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,080 lacking in the husband and the coming together. 191 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,200 Is this reinforcing? And God completes the picture. 192 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,880 It's like 2 puzzle pieces coming together and together we can 193 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,080 actually do this. So that's what's meant by 194 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,160 helper. But God intends equality and 195 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:10,760 intense completion. It is like a waltz, each gender 196 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:15,280 is gifted 4 different steps in the same dance with a couple 197 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:19,240 moves as though they are one body on the dance floor. 198 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,760 If you've ever just taken time to watch a waltz, but like done 199 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:32,120 properly, just this incredible movement of two people, but as 200 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,520 they move, it's like there's just one, there's one body 201 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,600 moving. It's a beautiful picture because 202 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,320 actually we got to get the fact that in that, in that movement, 203 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:48,600 the husband is leading, but the wife, she is submitting. 204 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,760 But there's there's no tension in that. 205 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,080 In fact, there's a beauty in that and, and the, and the 206 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,160 husband is leading in a way where the wife is receiving 207 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,160 that. And man, I'm just submitting to 208 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,320 this like, baby, you just take me wherever you want to take me 209 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:08,200 on this dance floor because what you are doing actually makes me 210 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,760 look beautiful. It makes me feel light. 211 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,840 And I can just go with it because I, I'm happy to submit 212 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,160 to this leading. That's the kind of waltz that 213 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,840 God has intended for us. Much like the dance of the 214 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,400 Trinity. Three different persons with 215 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:32,160 three different roles and levels of authority, yet a unity and 216 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:37,680 flow that demonstrates complete oneness as one God. 217 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,120 That's like the dance of the Trinity. 218 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:45,480 Three different persons with three different roles and levels 219 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:51,400 of authority, yet a unity and flow that demonstrates complete 220 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:56,040 oneness as one God. That's why when God says let's, 221 00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:01,840 let's make mankind in our image, the significance of that we got 222 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,680 to let hold of it. So the corruption that that 223 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:11,840 comes in and that twists and distorts God's original intent. 224 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,960 We, we read about it in Genesis 3. 225 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,320 And I mean, if I, if I stick with the with the analogy of the 226 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:26,920 walls, my wife and I went on like a dancing lesson thing just 227 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,360 to do something different. A couple of weeks worth of let's 228 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,800 just go dance and a few of our friends, we all got together and 229 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:40,400 it was such fun and it's good to do just as a married couple. 230 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:47,600 And what you've got to realize is in terms of who I am and, 231 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:52,520 and, and kind of my experience, like I haven't had dancing 232 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:58,000 experience, Certainly not, not, not like the attached vibe, not 233 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,520 the the waltz or any other. Like I'm more like a freestyle 234 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:06,760 kind of guy. I'm, I'm wired in that day. 235 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,359 Listen, maybe the next time I go. 236 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:15,200 But and like break dancing, that was like my, like I grew up in 237 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,960 that, you know, so now this thing of like you got to be 238 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,960 together. Like it's not dancing. 239 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,720 My wife, she danced professionally, so she knows how 240 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,680 to dance. She understands this. 241 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:34,880 And what happened in our dancing is that because of my leaning 242 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:38,440 towards freestyle, I was quite rebellious against what this 243 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,200 dance instructor was telling us, like the the kind of 244 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,960 choreography of this, then you do this, then you take this 245 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,880 step. I was like, whatever, man, I'm 246 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,120 going to just own this little dance floor. 247 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,160 I'm going to do things my way. So there was like a bit of 248 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:57,440 rebellion from my side. Plus my dear wife, because she's 249 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,480 the professional dancer, she knows how she became the lead 250 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,560 because she was like, no, no, no, it's like this. 251 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,400 And then it's like that. And I was like, oh, whatever, 252 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:11,560 man. But it's amazing how when you 253 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:17,560 take something that's so beautiful, like a waltz, but but 254 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,720 because the man's not leading, the woman's leading, and because 255 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,120 there's a little bit of rebellion and resistance, that 256 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:29,400 waltz just didn't happen. It was awkward. 257 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,880 We felt the friction. I was like, oh, man, what is 258 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:38,360 going on here? So yeah, we see in Genesis 3, 259 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,360 there's a distortion of what God intended. 260 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:50,000 Men and women sin against God. They sin against God. 261 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,040 I think we've, we've, we really got to remind ourselves when it 262 00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:00,240 comes to sin that sin is not something that sits in 263 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:05,800 isolation. Sin has a place, it's in our 264 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:10,760 hearts, but there's also an object of sin and that's God. 265 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:20,200 We sin against him. It's a very sobering thought for 266 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,400 me. And we've got to know that 267 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:29,520 sinning against God is very different to sinning against one 268 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:35,320 another because the higher the being, the most significant the 269 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,360 offence. So if I walk out on the street 270 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:44,040 here and I come across a random citizen, I slapped him in the 271 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:49,120 face. That's not right, but the effect 272 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:56,280 of it might be fairly limited if I walk up to a policeman and I 273 00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:05,880 slap him in the face. Different consequence if I get 274 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:10,920 to someone of political power and I slapped him in the face. 275 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,680 Now you, now you, now you. Now you're treading on dangerous 276 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,480 ground. But you get the fact that 277 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:22,440 slapping a person in the face, it's the same offense, but the 278 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:27,440 person who is being slapped changes the offense. 279 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:34,920 God's the highest being, so I sin against him is the thing 280 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,360 that's really got to grip us. We've got to know that when we 281 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:43,800 sin, we sin against him and our revelation of who he is that 282 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,480 needs to sober us. So we don't want to harp on sin. 283 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:52,280 We don't want to, you know, kind of like get all heavy, but we 284 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,920 don't want to just scoot over these things. 285 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,440 It's like we've got to have, there's got to be a gravity to 286 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:02,760 our revelation of what comes naturally out of us and a deep 287 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,080 cry in our hearts for God to help us and for his grace to 288 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:11,200 flow through our lives. So in this moment where Adam and 289 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:17,080 Eve sin against God, they go from being naked and unashamed 290 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:22,080 to covering up, blame shifting, pointing fingers at one another 291 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,880 and just trying to cover oneself. 292 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,800 It wasn't me, it was her. She made me do it, pointing 293 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,360 fingers. And this distortion kicks in and 294 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:35,560 self centeredness overrides all the goods that God intended. 295 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,640 I mean, here's the irony. It's like sin is in our hearts. 296 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:47,840 It's against God. And yet when it comes to 297 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,840 marriage, the thing that God actually designed, marriage then 298 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,240 gets the bad reputation. So the God created thing that is 299 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,040 perfect and there's absolutely nothing wrong with marriage. 300 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,720 It's a glorious institution. It's a beautiful institution. 301 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:07,600 His intention is for it to be a waltz where we just flourish in 302 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,400 an incredible way, seeing the fruit of that union. 303 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,640 But because of sin in our hearts and being against God, we seem 304 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,360 to think that we can actually view marriage in a negative way. 305 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,880 So nothing to do with what God did. 306 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,760 He didn't do anything wrong. What he's given us is beautiful. 307 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,880 We've corrupted it. It's our own thinking. 308 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,680 So we've got to be careful when we view marriage, especially if 309 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,960 we if we're taking like shots and we struggling in our 310 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,760 marriage. Like what's up with this? 311 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,400 No, no, there's nothing wrong with marriage. 312 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,440 What's wrong with me? What's wrong with the the 313 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:50,200 twisted, corrupted reality that's taking place in our 314 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,160 hearts? And it's not taint with God's 315 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,760 stand. It's not it's not find fault 316 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,800 with his design and his creation because it's perfect. 317 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,840 And then in Genesis 3 that says, and I'll put enmity between you 318 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,720 and the woman in between your offspring and hers. 319 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,520 He will crush your head and you will strike his heel. 320 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:15,440 I love that you can. You can recover from a bruised 321 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:18,760 heel. You don't recover from a crushed 322 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:23,160 head. And we see the first messianic 323 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,240 promise. God wastes no time to bring the 324 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:32,640 first messianic promise. And we see Jesus come. 325 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:38,360 We see him die on a cross. He gets bruised, his heel is 326 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:42,040 striked, but he raises to new life. 327 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:45,480 And we read in Revelation there is a crushing of the head. 328 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,960 Satan's head will be crushed and it'll be the end of him. 329 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,280 And God in Genesis 3, waste no time. 330 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,400 There's the promise, it's coming. 331 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,200 So the work of Jesus redeems every aspect of our lives, 332 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,440 including the roles within marriage. 333 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,320 So let's talk about the redemptive work of Jesus on page 334 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:13,720 37 when it comes to submission. I'm going to ask Antoinette to 335 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:19,760 talk through that. OK, please let's just read 336 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,120 together with Philippians 2 verse 5 to 8. 337 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,120 In your relationship with one another, have the same mindset 338 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:30,960 as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not 339 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:35,120 consider equality with God something to be used to His own 340 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:38,120 advantage. Rather He made himself nothing. 341 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,240 But taking the very nature of a servant being made in human 342 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,120 likeness and being found in appearance as a man, He humbled 343 00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:51,040 himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross. 344 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,920 So just like Adrian explained, now here we see that Jesus was 345 00:24:54,920 --> 00:25:00,320 equal with God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, the Father, all equal. 346 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,520 But you can fill in the blank. Although Jesus was equal with 347 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:08,440 God, he inted himself of his glory and took on the role of a 348 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,720 servant. So he doesn't use his equality 349 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,560 with God for his own involved advantage. 350 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:21,120 In fact, he shed his divine privileges without becoming any 351 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:25,600 less divine and took on the most submissive role. 352 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,400 So here we see two things. We see that he did it 353 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,920 voluntarily and that it was a gift. 354 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,640 And so there you can say despite being equal to the Father, Jesus 355 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,960 voluntarily submitted to the will of the Father to secure our 356 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,560 salvation. And Jesus willing acceptance of 357 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:50,440 this role was wholly voluntary, voluntary, a gift to the Father. 358 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:55,360 Now this for me personally was quite a revelation in our 359 00:25:55,360 --> 00:26:00,880 marriage, that my submission and marriage and submission to 360 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:05,280 Adrian, it's a gift to him. It's a gift that I want to give 361 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:10,160 him as he serves and loves me the way Jesus loves and serves 362 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,000 the church. I mean if you read on further 363 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,600 verse 9 it's not in there, but verse 9 it says that Jesus was 364 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,480 exalted to the highest place. Therefore God has exalted him 365 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,520 and bestowed on him the name that is above every name. 366 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,720 If Jesus submission was not an assault on his dignity and 367 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:36,320 divinity, but rather lead to greater glory, how could it 368 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,840 possibly hurt me to play the Jesus role in our marriage? 369 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,600 It's impossible. It's actually a beautiful thing. 370 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,560 So the last one is Jesus takes a subordinate role and in that 371 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:54,320 movement he shows not his weakness but his greatness. 372 00:26:55,160 --> 00:27:00,000 Now, you know, when I was 32 years old, I was still single. 373 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,600 I was very independent, very stubborn. 374 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,120 I was a shareholder in my own business. 375 00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:09,360 So I lived on my own. I looked after myself. 376 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,040 I couldn't make relationships work. 377 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,040 I struggled with relationships. I almost was at a point where 378 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,000 I'm at peace, OK, I'm not going to get married. 379 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,760 I can do this thing on my own. I was very independent. 380 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:27,960 And then I met Adrian and first date, just to find out that he's 381 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,400 six years younger than me. And that was in the beginning, a 382 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,760 bit of a struggle for me, but not so long. 383 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,400 I mean, look at him. I couldn't struggle for too 384 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:44,640 long. Focus on your notes. 385 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:53,560 Anyway, a year later we got married and there was 33 married 386 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:58,200 to a younger husband. And how do I submit to this? 387 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,520 And it sounds like a recipe for disaster, doesn't it? 388 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,320 But you know what? When both of us over the years 389 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,600 and in the beginning it was a bit of a struggle because I was 390 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,200 very stubborn and but every time it was like a mirror in my face. 391 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:17,280 Every time God just showed me. But as both of us, like he said, 392 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:22,840 submitted to our God-given roles, I realized over time that 393 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,760 this is not difficult. It's not difficult at all 394 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,280 because of the way he leads me and he wants everything that's 395 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,880 best for us and the family. So it just became this world's. 396 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:37,000 It became over time and through practice where you lay things 397 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,200 down and you look at God and you, you see the mirror once 398 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:44,040 again in your face and you, you know, it became a very easy 399 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,520 thing to do. Then I'm sure there might be 400 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,000 some of you sitting here thinking, yes, but you don't 401 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,640 know my husband. You know, he's maybe you do feel 402 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:59,240 like you're contrasting. Maybe he, you feel like he's 403 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,000 making wrong decisions. He's not good with Bunny. 404 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,040 He might be aggressive. He might be abusive. 405 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:11,000 Well, I want to make a thing, just something very clear that 406 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,440 there is a difference between godly submission and then like, 407 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,680 I don't explain what the world thinks submission is. 408 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:23,720 If your husband doesn't lead you in a godly way, and I'll use an 409 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,920 example, he wants you to help him to do something illegal, you 410 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:31,080 don't have to submit to that. Or if he's abusive, you don't 411 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:36,280 have to submit to that. And you know that's that's I 412 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,440 didn't will more speak about that. 413 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:43,640 That's the is you you first undergo submission and you look 414 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:50,960 to him. We must, however, as wives, be 415 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:58,160 very careful to fix our husbands the whole time, to tell them the 416 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,960 whole time what they are doing wrong and thinking that we can 417 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:05,240 do it better. And being that dripping tap, you 418 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:10,720 know, we must sometimes just allow them to make mistakes, 419 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,280 allow them to carry the consequences. 420 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,720 Because through that God can work with him. 421 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:23,600 God can help them to grow and bring them up to the husband he 422 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,920 needs to be. If we interfere the whole time 423 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:31,600 we in the way, yes, we can give our godly input, but not 424 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:37,160 constantly being this nagging wife steep away and take her to 425 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:42,560 God, stake one step back and let go and let God and then take 426 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:46,680 that opportunity to get started at God's feet and intercede and 427 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,600 pray for him and asking God to help him and reveal himself to 428 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:56,160 him in Luke 23 we see and I've no agent mentioned that 429 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,280 yesterday as well. We see when Jesus was hanging 430 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:05,200 from the cross, people mocked him and told him that if you are 431 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,880 the true Messiah, why don't you save yourself, get yourself off 432 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,880 that cross, you know, and if you think about it, Jesus, this 433 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,680 could our God, the Creator of all. 434 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,360 He submitted to the Father's world to become a human being, 435 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,320 to become this frailty of humor of a human. 436 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:28,240 He submitted himself to come down to earth and to give up all 437 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,960 his divine privileges. The darling of heaven came down 438 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,520 to earth and then to hang on that cross. 439 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:39,360 Can you imagine, imagine this strength that he took to submit 440 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,640 to the Father's world, to stay on that cross where he could 441 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,880 have at any moment just released himself. 442 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,120 But this strange to submit to the Father's world. 443 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:54,120 That is the most beautiful picture of submission we will 444 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,480 ever, ever see. So, Hannah, encourage you, 445 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,080 ladies. You know, we cannot do it with 446 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,840 the help of the Holy Spirit. We can't because we've got this 447 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:08,320 fleshly nature of stubbornness and we want our own way and 448 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,480 selfishness. Just sit at God's feet and ask 449 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,560 the Holy Spirit to help you in those moments sometimes just to 450 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,480 be quiet and to take it to him. Yeah. 451 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,520 So I'm going to leave you. Leave you with that. 452 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:29,240 So I love the fact that submission is pictured in this 453 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:34,240 Philippians 2 text as a gift that Jesus offered wasn't 454 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,400 something he was coerced in. Well, he wasn't forced. 455 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:43,000 He willingly offered. He submitted to the will of the 456 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,720 Father even when he prayed. It's like Father take this cup 457 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:52,920 from me but not my will. He'll open the submission and 458 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:58,080 and I think as wives, the encouragement is allowed Jesus 459 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:03,960 to be your example where your submission is to be a gift that 460 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,040 you offer, not something that you forced into. 461 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:12,120 And the reason why I'm stressing that is that that needs to be 462 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:19,080 heard by the husbands as well, because when your headship is of 463 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:25,240 such a nature that your wife does feel forced, well then 464 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,280 possibly you're not doing things right. 465 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,600 You've got you can't force your wife. 466 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:39,600 So the Father put his will forward and then Jesus out of 467 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,160 his own. He volunteered. 468 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,200 He said, I will submit to that will. 469 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,400 God's a gentleman. He doesn't force himself on us 470 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,160 either. He opens our eyes to the reality 471 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,360 of our need of him, the revelation of our depraved 472 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:02,320 state. He gives us the glory of Jesus 473 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:06,160 who has died for us, and we get to respond. 474 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,760 Doesn't that make us like robots? 475 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:14,880 Forces us into a relationship? So as a husband, we got to know 476 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:20,400 that our headship is not something that we put on our 477 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:24,280 apps. We don't like you will like 478 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:29,280 there's my will and allow you to submit to it as a gift. 479 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:32,080 So I'm not putting it as a duty to you. 480 00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:37,120 I'm giving you my will, but allow you to respond in a 481 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,679 submissive way. And that kind of changes the 482 00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:46,840 tone significantly. So the redemptive work of Jesus 483 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:51,360 for headship on page 39, the same text Philippians 2 now goes 484 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,120 to. Therefore God exalted him to the 485 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,880 highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 486 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,320 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on 487 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,960 earth and under the earth at every tongue acknowledged that 488 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,280 Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. 489 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:15,320 Jesus then gets exalted by God and in that takes the role of 490 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:20,400 the leader, the ultimate authority to which every knee 491 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,360 will bow. So the first half of that 492 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,720 Philippians 2 texts is he submits to the will of the 493 00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:30,240 Father, plays a submission role. The second-half is he gets 494 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,480 exalted to this ultimate authority. 495 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,680 He is the leader of leaders, the King of kings, the Lord of 496 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:39,320 Lords, and every knee will bow to him. 497 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:44,840 Whether it's in this lifetime or beyond, every knee will bow. 498 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:50,400 He is the ultimate authority. So now we we, we consider world 499 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:55,920 view of authority, world view of leadership and and our 500 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,320 understanding of leadership and our exposure to leadership. 501 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:03,280 And we got to ask ourselves the question, does that represent 502 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:09,560 God's view of leadership? Is that a healthy way to see 503 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,480 things? So that might come from growing 504 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:18,640 up with a father who was heavy in his leadership, heavy in his 505 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:26,080 authority, too heavy that there might be within a work context, 506 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:31,240 a boss who is heavy-handed and, and, and so all these 507 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:36,400 experiences start to shape and mold our view of authority and 508 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,240 our view of leadership. And people get hurt under 509 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,400 leadership that is not representative of God's view of 510 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,040 leadership. And then they resist against 511 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,680 leadership. It's kind of like I'll submit to 512 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,840 it, but it's just kind of like man out of duty. 513 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,000 It's not something that I'm rushing into. 514 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,600 Like I don't have any other option. 515 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,680 I need a job, I need my salary. So let me just grin and bear it 516 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,520 because that leadership is something that doesn't represent 517 00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:09,160 God's heart. If we look at what God's view 518 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,280 is, that Lana is authority and God's might. 519 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,280 Something totally different to a worldview of leadership and 520 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:18,280 authority. We see that in in John 13, Jesus 521 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,520 and his disciples, it says when he had finished washing their 522 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:25,400 feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. 523 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,040 Do you understand what I've done for you? 524 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:32,920 He asked them. You call me teacher and Lord, 525 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:37,200 and rightly so, for that is what I am. 526 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,840 So Jesus doesn't shy away from the fact that he's Lord, He 527 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:45,120 doesn't shy away from the fact that he has this authority that 528 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,200 he is the King of kings, He is the Lord of Lords. 529 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,160 He doesn't shy away from it. They call him Lord and, and, and 530 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,800 he is happy to accept that title, that label. 531 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:02,080 Now that I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, 532 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,000 you also should wash one another's feet. 533 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,880 I've sent you an example that you should do as I have done for 534 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,200 you. Very truly, I tell you, no 535 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:16,080 servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger 536 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,000 greater than the one who sent him. 537 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:24,120 So Jesus demonstrates Lordship. You call me Lord. 538 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,800 You're right. Let me show you what that means. 539 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,400 I'm going to wash your feet. So he is. 540 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:36,280 His understanding of lordship is not to Lord over, it's to serve. 541 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:43,560 He washes their feet and he says you do the same. 542 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:48,520 Because when you you come into a position of authority, you, you 543 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,280 take on the mantle of leadership in whatever capacity, whether it 544 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:56,600 be in your home or in church or in any form of institutional 545 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,560 organizational company. Lordship in my mind is a washing 546 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,240 of the feet. That's how I'm going to 547 00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,080 demonstrate it to you. This is what I'm going to show 548 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,880 you. So I don't Lord it over you. 549 00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,800 I'm going to wash your feet. What an incredible example. 550 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:16,800 So Jesus defies headship as being a servant leader. 551 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,400 And his example in the Gospels, I mean, that's just one text. 552 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,720 It's all over Scripture. It's all over the counter of his 553 00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:29,800 life. He demonstrated that authority, 554 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:36,480 leadership means that you become the servant, you die to self in 555 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,960 order to love and serve the other. 556 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:45,000 That's exactly what Jesus did. So he's Lord, he is, He is, he's 557 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,680 the ultimate authority. He's the ultimate leader. 558 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,440 But how he demonstrates that authority is to come and serve. 559 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:58,720 He's a servant and the extents to which he serves is he dies to 560 00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:03,760 self. Literally, he dies to the extent 561 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,760 of giving up his life for the sake of the other, which is you 562 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,880 and I. That's how he leaps. 563 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:18,080 So Jesus was totally sacrificial and most devoted to the good of 564 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,000 the other. And that good of the other was 565 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,760 the salvation of mankind. We needed the saving. 566 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:30,200 The ultimate authority comes and serves us in a way where he dies 567 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:38,160 for us so that we can be saved. In so doing, he redeems the role 568 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:44,240 of headship and properly defines authority, taking the toxicity 569 00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:49,200 of it away. You see, that's the problem with 570 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:50,600 authority. It's toxic. 571 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,280 That's what people don't like, authority. 572 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,240 There's a poison there. There's something that's not 573 00:40:57,240 --> 00:41:02,960 good for me there, but the way Jesus leads he he demonstrates 574 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:07,680 leadership in such a way that he completely takes all forms of 575 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,560 toxicity out of leading. There's no problem with us 576 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:15,000 submitting to him. We we don't struggle to submit 577 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:20,000 to his leading because he's leading was him serving us to 578 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:25,920 the point of dying for us. Par surrender to you, God, I, I 579 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:30,560 have no issue submitting to you. No, it no issue submitting to 580 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,520 who you are. Lord Jesus, you are Lord I 581 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,280 submit to you. But the reason why I can submit 582 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:39,640 to you is that you did not come to this earth and Lord over us. 583 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:45,800 You came to wash our feet, put us on a new path, cleanse us, 584 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:51,520 beautify us and you went the full extent of laying down your 585 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:56,080 life for us. You're a servant leader on an 586 00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:01,440 incredible demonstration. And so men are also asked to 587 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:05,440 submit to their God assigned role. 588 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,640 The God assigned role for a husband is to lead. 589 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:17,760 And how are you exercising your leading, your authority that God 590 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,880 has assigned to you as a husband? 591 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:26,560 Are you serving your wife or are you lording over her? 592 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:31,320 Which if we come back to the whole thing of submission being 593 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,720 a gift, if you Lord over your wife, very hard for your wife to 594 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:40,400 offer it as a gift. But if you serve her and she 595 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,840 realizes, well, hold on a second, this headship thing, 596 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,880 it's for my benefit. I'll submit to that. 597 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:47,920 I'll submit to that. No problem. 598 00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:52,400 Happy to because you're leading for my benefit. 599 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,280 I'm the beneficiary of this thing. 600 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,280 Headship's not for your benefit, it's for my benefit. 601 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,840 I'll submit to that. But we got to get Jesus example. 602 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,560 We got to get Jesus's heart and God's view of leadership and 603 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:10,320 know that when we as husbands have been put into this position 604 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,040 of hate ship, we've got a God assigned authority that he's put 605 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,320 on us. But that's not for us to take 606 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:22,000 and make ours add our own little bit of toxic fleshly nature to 607 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,280 and Lord over our wife and our family so that we're the 608 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:29,480 beneficiaries of our headship. They need to be the beneficiary 609 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:33,080 of our headship. Our wife and our families need 610 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,680 to be the beneficiaries of our leadership. 611 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:42,120 We serve like Jesus served us in his ultimate authority and 612 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,240 leadership. So the headship of a husband 613 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:50,000 would therefore mean is the definition of Egypt, the 614 00:43:50,000 --> 00:44:00,200 exercising of power in service to the other and not to please 615 00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:05,680 oneself. So Tim Keller does this 616 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:10,960 incredible paraphrase of of Philippians 2 and applies it to 617 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,600 marriage. And for me, it's like marriage 618 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,320 through the lens of the gospel. I'm just going to read his 619 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,800 quote. He says the relationship of 620 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,560 Jesus to the church is the model for that of husband and wife. 621 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,640 We, the church, submit to Christ in everything. 622 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,000 And the parallel of a wife submitting everything to her 623 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:31,320 husband is no longer daunting since we know what kind of 624 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,400 behavior the husband has been called on to imitate. 625 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:39,840 To what role must he submit to that of a servant leader who 626 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:44,000 uses his authority and power to express a love that doesn't even 627 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:50,720 stop at dying for his beloved? I think that sometimes as 628 00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:53,080 husbands, we're not even prepared to wash the dishes, 629 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:56,640 nevermind dying for your beloved. 630 00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:04,720 And we need, we need God's help here because we're to lead our 631 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:11,160 families in a way where they are the beneficiaries we serve as 632 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,240 leaders of our homes. We serve. 633 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:15,640 And then submitting, that's a doddle. 634 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,880 I can submit to that as a wife, I can submit to that. 635 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,960 Not a problem. So Jesus redeems both roles. 636 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:30,320 In Jesus we see all the authoritarianism of authority 637 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,720 laid to rest and all the humility of submission 638 00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:40,320 glorified. It's like that Luke 3 text. 639 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,560 Every mountain and every hill will be laid low and every 640 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,400 valley will be filled in, because that's what the gospel 641 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,960 does. It just brings everything on an 642 00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:55,360 even kilt. And we can walk on smooth 643 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:59,560 ground, straight St. no longer crooked and winding with these 644 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,680 massive toxic hills and mountains and deep valleys that 645 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:07,840 wives have to go through that's just brought on an even plain. 646 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:12,960 It's the beauty of the gospel. And we need to lean in to Jesus 647 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:17,720 and lean in to what he has given us as this beautiful example of 648 00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:20,760 headship and submission, where he submitted to the will of the 649 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:22,720 Father. And then he demonstrated his 650 00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:25,920 headship by serving us and washing our feet. 651 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:33,560 Both men and women get to play the Jesus role in marriage, 652 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,800 Jesus in his sacrificial authority and Jesus in his 653 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:45,990 sacrificial submission. And then we see that when we 654 00:46:45,990 --> 00:46:51,270 submit to these roles and operate within them, husbands 655 00:46:51,270 --> 00:46:53,630 and wives are two realities that play out. 656 00:46:54,150 --> 00:46:56,470 The first one is this, they'll experience a dance. 657 00:46:57,670 --> 00:47:02,030 They'll experience a dance within their marriage, moving to 658 00:47:02,030 --> 00:47:06,070 a God rhythm that brings incredible fulfilment and 659 00:47:06,070 --> 00:47:09,400 increased love for one another. See, that's the beauty of the 660 00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,520 waltz. So if we submit ourselves to 661 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:17,960 God's way now, I want to serve my wife in a way where she is 662 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,640 beautified and she feels light on her feet and she just goes 663 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,840 with whatever my leading is because I can offer it as a gift 664 00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:29,640 because I'm loving this. This is good for me because you 665 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,480 are leading me in a way where I'm the beneficiary of it. 666 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:38,080 They experience the dance. You see where when Antonette and 667 00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:41,920 I were doing those classes, the tension just within that, and 668 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,080 this was just a fun dance glance. 669 00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:49,880 It was enough for me to say, OK, there was aspects of this that I 670 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:53,120 didn't enjoy. It was like, I'm rebellious 671 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:57,240 against the like I'm not submitting to the role that I've 672 00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:00,640 been given. I want to do the freestyle vibes 673 00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:04,720 and instead of her submitting to whatever I'm doing, she's 674 00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:08,160 compensating for my lack of leading and she's the one that's 675 00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,160 leading. And how many times did we see a 676 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:13,840 wife lead? It's like you, you get all 677 00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:18,960 strong on your husband or your husband's rebellious to the the 678 00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,600 God assigned role that's been put on him. 679 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:29,920 It just brings tension at this fraction and we need to go to 680 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,400 Jesus and say, help us, you've redeemed these roles. 681 00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:36,720 We want to submit ourselves to the God assigned roles that 682 00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:40,040 you've given us and we want to take our cue from you. 683 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:44,200 We want to imitate you because we want to become more Christ 684 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,520 like. So I mean, we start looking at 685 00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:52,280 unpacking the the theology of our sanctification, our growing 686 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,160 in God. We are to become more Christ 687 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,880 like. And what that means in the 688 00:48:56,880 --> 00:49:00,560 context of headship and submission is that a husband 689 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:04,040 becomes more like Christ when his headship is a servant 690 00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:08,400 leadership and a wife becomes more like Christ with her 691 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,120 submission is something that she offers as a gift. 692 00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,960 Knowing that this isn't a demonstration of weakness. 693 00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,520 This is a demonstration of greatness, just like God's 694 00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:20,880 submission to the will of the Father and being on the cross 695 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,600 and not calling down angels to to to rescue him. 696 00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:29,880 Was this act of greatness, not weakness was perceived by 697 00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,440 everyone around the cross as weak as Ah, look at him, he 698 00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:36,240 said, as the king of the Jews. Now look at him and he had to 699 00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:41,480 face those those accusations and here all the snot comings that 700 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,560 were coming his way that he stayed. 701 00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:47,800 And in staying, he demonstrated this incredible greatness. 702 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,760 And that's what wives need to lay hold of. 703 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:56,120 That submission is this beautiful demonstration of 704 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:59,880 greatness. But husbands are we, We can make 705 00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:03,960 this so much easier for our wives if we just serve in our 706 00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:08,280 leadership, just like Jesus served us to the point of dying 707 00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:12,680 for his beloved. Their marriages will demonstrate 708 00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,840 to the world. This is the second thing. 709 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,440 Lives that are transformed by a loving God. 710 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:20,480 See. This is where our marriage gets 711 00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:24,760 to serve the mission of Jesus. When, when, when will thee 712 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:26,760 marries us? When, when people who are 713 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:31,320 outside of God's Kingdom and don't mow him get to see godly 714 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:36,520 marriages and they get to see the God rhythm that a wife and a 715 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:40,640 husband move to and they see something of a transformed life. 716 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,120 How do you get to live your life in this way? 717 00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:46,760 How do you get to be a husband the way that you are husbanding 718 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,360 your wife? And how do you as a wife get to 719 00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,760 submit in this incredibly glorious way where it just 720 00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,200 works? It's like, oh, I want a little 721 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:58,280 bit of that. We can win people over to spy us 722 00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:02,040 having godly marriages and and these roles of hateship and 723 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:04,760 submission flowing in a God rhythm. 724 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:08,480 It's a testimony. It's it's Philippians 2 on 725 00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:13,760 display, Jesus submitting to the will of the Father and Jesus 726 00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,360 being exalted to the highest authority. 727 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:19,880 But in his definition of that, he's exercising his authority 728 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,240 not for his own benefit, but for us.