Hello and welcome to the Cosmic Nomad.
I'm your host, Bailey Rushlow, and this is a space for the
curious and the heart lead where we explore the human experience
through travel, nature, spirituality, and real life
transformation through beautiful conversations.
As I discover my way of living what I call an inspired life, I
share the practices, stories, and perspectives that have
helped guide me back to myself. Please do whatever it feels good
to you to relax, to pull the chair, to go on a walk, get a
cozy drink, make something refreshing like a snack.
Have a joy never feeling and welcome to this space.
You're most likely hearing this a few weeks after this moment
has happened in my life, but I am preparing to embark on a
journey and I'm feeling a lot of things about it, as always.
I mean, it is me so incapable of feeling only one thing at a
time. It's, it's been a really, really
nice time being here, being grounded for the last nine
months. I got back to Mexico after
traveling Asia for six months. In October.
I returned and have spent the last nine months healing,
integrating my jail experience. If you want to hear about that,
you can listen to episode 7 where I talk about my experience
being incarcerated in a foreign country and how scary that was
and just the different things that I had to move through in
that space. While I'm incredibly grateful
that I got to travel for six months, I also realized that
that's the last time I think I'm going to do a trip that's that
long because I've been doing 5-6 month long trips for the last
since 2021. And this is 2025 S for a long
time. And this is the last time that I
said, I don't think I'm going to do long trips like that again.
Like 2 months, three months, absolute tops is enough for
doing like a long, you know, extended travel.
And so this year, my partner Philip decided to go back to
Asia and he does customized diving trips and is an
incredible resource for the diving and underwater world if
you are interested in diving. I was never interested in
diving. I didn't even know that was a
thing civilians could do. I thought that was like, you're
in the, in the Marines or in the Navy or something and you, you,
you dive like, or archaeologically for like wrecks
and stuff. I never knew it could be
recreational and that it's like a sport around the world.
So when I met Philip, I actually got certified in scuba diving.
So I, I love it. It's an amazing, amazing thing
to do. Besides the point Philip decided
to go back to Asia and do his diving trips there, which is
amazing, and live on boats and be just all across many
beautiful islands with wonderful people exploring the ocean.
And while I love that for him, it also meant that we would
probably have to be separated for a couple of months because I
was not ready to go back. So I made the decision to stay
home in our home in Mexico and just allow my nervous system to
integrate the experiences that I've had and be slow and be
still and focus on my health, my art, my creativity.
Birthing a podcast and finishing up a course that I've been in
for the last year that is like a womb immersion course that I
graduate from in in September. To be able to help women work
with their cycles and learn how to speak and understand the
language that their body speaks. So we have been apart for three
months and to some people who just live long distance, that
doesn't sound like much. But when you do everything
together and you're such a integral and dynamic part of
each other's lives, it's really, really strange to be apart for
that long. And we're getting to see each
other next week, so I'm very excited about that.
It's been really interesting living by myself for what felt
like the first time in my life. I have travelled and lived by
myself in places that I've travelled, but I've never been
in my own home completely alone for an extended period of time.
So this was such an incredible gift to myself.
It was really hard the very first week or two for me to get
accustomed to living by myself. Not because I don't enjoy my own
company, but because I missed his so much.
And I love that about my relationship.
I think that's a beautiful thing.
But as time went on, I remembered my intention for
being alone and for choosing to stay here because I could have
gone to Asia, but I knew that what I needed was to be here.
And so I was able to have the space to do a lot of this inner
work around the situation in Asia and what had happened
there. And moving through the layers of
that. Sometimes I'm still even moving
through the layers of that. And I'd spend nine months.
But healing isn't linear, right? It comes and goes in waves.
And I would be the first to tell you that I struggle just like
you, right? Like we are.
We are no different. You never know what someone has
walked through. And I'd be the first to tell you
that even though I have a podcast now and create beautiful
art and have, you know, figured out some things earlier in life
than other people I've had the opportunity to do so, that does
not mean that I don't struggle or suffer or have shitty things
happen in my life just like everyone else.
Just because I'm using my voice to share the things I've learned
does not mean that I am not a student.
I am always, like I said before, I think a student and a teacher
at once evolving simultaneously. There's been quite a few really
beautiful gifts I think that I'm taking away from this time and
carrying with me. One of those is remembering how
much time I really do need alone for my optimal creative
expression during this period of healing.
And also just settling into my home and having this space by
myself has been really beautiful because I've launched a podcast,
I've launched my online Patreon with guided meditations monthly.
I have started making clay different things out of clay
like trinket trays and mushrooms and gnomes and just they're
painted, they're adorable. They're so cute.
They bring a lot of whimsy and childlike play to the table.
And they I actually thought I wonder if I could put these in
an art shop locally, like if would anywhere be interested in
selling my art. So I went to this little shop
and I was so nervous. Oh my gosh.
I was literally sweating and I walked in and I said, hi, I know
you have like handmade artisans work in your shop from like all
local, you know, artists. Would you be open to putting
mine in the store? I would love to show you a
sample. And she was like, for sure.
So I showed her my stuff. She's like, it's amazing.
Bring it by, we'll put you in the shop.
So I was literally so excited and I have been making things
the last couple of months, like every night after I eat dinner,
maybe I watch a show and I'm working with my hands and
creating clay stuff and it brings me so much joy.
So I am now in a local art shop. I mean, that's so cool.
I never could have told you that I would be doing that.
But I got brave and followed my confidence and said, you know
what, 20 seconds of courage is all it takes to change your
life. I've told myself that many times
through my journey where I've wanted to do something but I'm
scared and fear holds us back so much.
Like I don't know there there's this quote I used to say as a
kid. It was fear means FEAR, face
everything and run or face everything and rise.
And I, it makes me smile thinking about now because I
think I said that in a 4H speech to a bunch of people because I
heard it somewhere and I thought it was really cool.
Oh man, 4H, that's funny. I wonder if anyone listening to
this has been a part of 4H, You know, because if you don't try
then you will never know. And I feel like people think
about the things they didn't do on their deathbed way more than
they think about the things they did do.
So I think you should just go for it.
Whatever The thing is that makes your heart feel alive and feel
connected to yourself, that's, that's it.
That's what's lighting your path, you know, and I feel like
we don't listen to that voice enough because of what it would
mean, because of what, what it would cost us, the change that
would it would require of us, the uncomfortability, the way we
would make other people feel. Who that one?
That's the one that haunts me the most.
And there have definitely been times in my life when I have let
that keep me from being free and liberated and showing up in my
creative expression and creative expansion.
And when I look back at the times when I was scared but I
did something anyway and I showed up, those are the times
when I think I felt the most alive.
And sometimes in my experiences, this can look like booking the
flight or wearing that outfit you really want to, or doing
that weird thing with your hair that you actually love on
yourself. Sometimes it's been going up to
a total stranger and having a conversation that's changed my
life. Sometimes it's going into an art
shop as an adult and saying hi. Do you like the things that I
make out of Clay? Sometimes it's starting a
podcast and being vulnerable and sharing things without a script,
like I am doing today and just letting my mind speak freely
with what I want to share. Because I am flying out tomorrow
and my house is clean and ready for the woman who's going to be
living here while I'm away and taking care of my cat and my
plants. My clothes are packed, bags are
ready, and I'm feeling that mix of excitement and trepidation
because I have been in such a beautiful container of my own
energy and my own creative flow. And tomorrow I'm going to get on
a plane and then get on a train and a bus and make it to an
Airbnb. And then do, you know, it's like
I, as much as I love travel and I am a cosmic nomad at heart, it
still requires a lot of focus and a lot of preparation and a
lot of steps to take to get there, you know, but also, I'm
so grateful for the opportunity to travel.
And I actually just got a small microphone that I'm going to
bring with me on the trip that I can still record while I'm on
the go, which is something I didn't plan on doing.
I planned on stopping the season and just having a break.
And I might still do that at some point just to give myself a
chance to not be creating and, and just get to be and exist,
you know? But I also think it's important
to showcase this idea of the cosmic nomad on the road.
How fun, how fitting. So back to what I was saying,
you just, you never know when something could change your
life. And you never know when saying
yes to something and choosing yourself and choosing your
intuition over what someone else is telling you or over what the
circumstances have been before or over the way that things have
just have always been for you or your family.
Like it can always change. You're never too far gone to
change your life truly. I really believe that.
I think there's always hope. And sometimes it's it just
starts with one small step of bravery.
I remember it was 2018 and I had just recorded a cover of You're
Still the One by Shania Twain. And if you don't know, I'm a
musician. I make acoustic covers online.
I've been doing that for 10 years.
And it's such a fun space for me to bloom as a singer, a
musician, a multi instrumentalist, A producer.
It's a place where I feel very alive and connected to my inner
child. So I remember recording this
song and I told my my boyfriend at the time I just recorded this
song. I think it's so good.
And this was before anyone else had done it.
Now it, I mean, not that I was the first one at all, but there
have been many covers of that song since 2018.
And in 2018 I think there was like one or two.
Like it just it wasn't really a covered song.
And so I showed him my song and he was like, I don't know if
that's a good idea to cover that.
Like it's old country, like who's going to be listening to
that? And he was quite successful in
music and with acoustic covers as well.
So I, I thought, man, I really should listen to him.
Like I shouldn't put this out. And I listened to the song again
and thought, no, that is a, that's a hit.
That's a gorgeous cover. Oh my God, I love it.
I'm definitely putting it out. I did put it out.
And to this day, it is my most streamed cover of over 100 plus
songs that I've released in my life.
This one is, I don't know, 25,000,000 something streams on
this one song. And if I hadn't listened to
myself and said no, I'm going to do that anyway, who knows what
the story would be. It definitely would be what it
is today. And what it is today is pretty
awesome. So I'm grateful that I listened
to myself. I'm also glad that relationship
ended. You know, it's so often we stay
in places that are too small for us in relationships, in jobs, in
opportunities, in identities, in places that we've outgrown in,
in workplaces that drain us in family dynamics that are not
healthy or not serving the the people involved.
It's that quiet knowing within you that says, I don't think
this is it anymore. And I just think it is so
important to remember that your life is allowed to change.
We've been sold this idea of going through school, going to
college, dating, getting married, having kids, retiring
at some point. We've been sold this dream and
for some people that dream has been incredibly fulfilling and
fantastic. And for a lot of the rest of us
that is not exactly the path that we've taken.
And I don't know, I think I think some people could be very
happy in that life and for other people it wouldn't absolutely
not be the right fit. And I don't think there's a
one-size-fits-all mold for people going through life.
I think we're a lot like plants in that way that, you know, a
plant will grow to the size of its container, and sometimes it
will grow even bigger than that. And if you don't move the plant
to a larger pot, it will die because its roots and branches
have nowhere else to extend to to continue growing.
And the roots ended up tangled and matted and knotted and prone
to root rot. And you know it's not good for
the plants. The plant needs fresh soil and
also a big enough space that it can stretch its roots out.
And I think we are the exact same way.
You can only expand as big as your environment will let you.
So if you don't feel expensive and you would like to, or maybe
you even feel jealous of people that you see that are expansive
or they are just themselves, or they are choosing something that
is different than what you chose, let that jealousy inspire
you. Let it be a tool and a teacher
to showing you what it is that you're so attracted to about
this other person's life. And sometimes it's good to just
unfollow people that are triggering us.
I totally feel you on that. But other times, I think it's
also important to see the way someone lives or speaks that
makes you feel like, man, I kind of want that.
It's not that you want to be them.
It's not that you want their life, but there's something
about what they have. The freedom, maybe money or a
nice job or the good clothes, or they're very bold or expressive
or good with their words or good at storytelling or good at.
It's not that you want those things, it's what those things
provide. So someone that's really
charismatic and magnetic and they walk into a room and
everyone loves them. It's not because they are just
magnetic, It's because of how they make people feel.
You know, that's what we want to experience.
When you see someone that you know, has a lot of money and
they're they're able to always pay for nice things.
It's not that you always want nice things.
It's that having that flexibility and the
opportunities it would provide would feel really safe to your
nervous system, right? If you see someone's
relationship and maybe they don't fight and they just have a
really loving dynamic, that seems almost abnormal because
we're so used to having tumultuous relationships.
It's not that you want their relationship, it's that the idea
of your safety within the relationship and with a person
that you love, being a place you can rest and expand and be full
of yourself is something that you would love to cultivate in
your own world. So we have to allow our longings
to come to the surface and stop shutting them down.
Our desires are our teachers. They are pointing us in the
direction of what will evolve our soul, and I think that's a
big part of why we're here on this planet.
Is the evolution, it's the journey.
It's not well, you have to be better, you have to be good, you
have to be perfect. You have to get to heaven.
Like none of that type of stuff. I'm talking like evolving us
through the lessons that we learn, the people that we meet,
the relationships we have, the versions of ourselves that we
get to experience. And then also the sunsets and
rainbows and 1st kisses and rooftop sunsets and chance
encounters and miracles and mysteries.
We're alive for all of those two.
I think sometimes the hardest thing is just admitting I'm not
happy with this fill in the blank.
But I think that's also the most powerful moment because you're
faced with the choice of either staying where you've been or
choosing to replant or report yourself in a new environment or
a new relationship or a new job, taking that risk and believing
that you will be supported. I had a moment the other day
where I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and I went to my
rooftop, laid out like a starfish on the roof, and the
stars were just starting to come out.
It was beautiful, and I just started speaking out loud.
All my anxieties to the sky and all the things I was feeling
about getting ready to travel again, things I've been through,
things I'm experiencing, things I'm feeling what I'm thinking
about. And by the time I had finished
my speech, I was fresh out of words.
I'd said everything I needed to say.
But it's also a really great tool.
If you need to just say how you're feeling, just say it out
loud, even to the sky, even to a mirror, because your body
doesn't know the difference between you speaking it to
someone or just speaking it out loud in general.
And it can really help to release the emotion around the
words when you get them out of your body.
So speak them out loud, it helps.
It really does might feel crazy, but the best people are Anyway.
I was looking up at the sky and I said this phrase.
I said I will be taken care of every step of the way.
And as soon as I finished saying that, a huge shooting star went
across the sky. I had full body chills and I was
like, Oh my God. Right after I said it's all
good. Like I'm going to be taken care
of every step of the way. Boom, shooting star.
It felt like a cosmic exclamation point to my
experience. And I'm really believing that
like my the summer of where I'm traveling and what I'm doing is
not completely filled out yet. Like there is a loose plan, but
things are just unfolding as I go.
And I'm very curious how this is going to flow and how this is
going to be. But I'm fully believing that the
universe is going to provide whatever I'm supposed to be
doing. It's going to happen.
It's going to be so aligned with my soul and with what I want and
with what my intentions are for this trip and this journey.
And I'm excited to share that as I go on and, and just continue
to allow myself being witnessed as the human that I am.
I don't have everything figured out.
I don't have all the answers, but I am very much enjoying the
journey of discovering them for myself and finding out what that
means to me in my own voice, in my own words, and in my own
timing. Because like I said, this stuff
is never linear. You know, it's, it's a spiral.
And we go deeper and deeper. We we follow the White Rabbit
down the rabbit hole like Alice and we are on a crazy
psychedelic type of adventure through this life.
Trying to uncover the mysteries and uncover the magic and
remember that we are here not just to do things, but to be
somebody. To live a life.
That one day we fall into bed worn out and grinning from the
adventures we've had and the bravery and the courage that
it's taken to go after the things that made us feel alive.
Something else that I have really loved about this time,
being alone has been hosting more events, having people over
to my home, creating a sanctuary for everyone to come and be
themselves, to eat nice fruits, to talk to swap stories, to play
cards. I've had movie nights and
women's gatherings and one really fun night where my
friends and I did mushrooms and we painted through the night.
Another friend of mine started what we're calling Dream Club on
my rooftop, where we get together with a core group of
people and we discuss our dreams, the archetypes within
them, the stories, the patterns, the parallels, lucid dreaming,
astral projection, all of this stuff.
We're having incredible conversations about this, and
I'm really loving hearing everyone's perspective and
learning more and all those cool things that I just said.
They just started as little ideas and then they were acted
upon with courage, and then they became something really
beautiful that impacted everyone who participated, you know, and
changed something in the trajectory of their lives and my
life, too. This is a gift all the way
around, you know? And I think that when we choose
to follow that tug on our hearts into a new version of ourselves
or a new rhythm or new city, a new relationship, life answers
us with opening doors that we never knew were there.
And I like to ask myself, what's the alternative?
I come back to that question a lot.
If nothing changes about this blank.
If everything stays the same. If the calendar just keeps
repeating. If the walls just stay beige,
shout out to our last episode. If you get caught that
reference, what's the alternative?
And if you honor that nudge, even if you're scared, you give
the universe room to surprise you.
And no, we can't control every variable, but we can decide to
live like we belong here. I think these three months apart
have been a really potent mirror for me because it it proved to
me again how grateful I am that I am capable in my own orbit,
and also how wonderful it is to have a partnership that I would
miss. It's worth missing.
I'm grateful for every morning sunrise journaling session, for
all the cacao that I made, the many batches of bone broth
things that I took to the shop this year, the podcast that I
launched, the Patreon, the Womb course, the friends that I've
connected with, the incredible people in my community who are
keen to help put on events and and have really fun meaningful
gatherings. I've been painting a mural on my
rooftop for the last couple months and I just finished it
and it's perfect. And it was such a gift to
myself, to my city, to Playa, and also as like an altar to the
sky, to the world. Can acupuncture points on the
planet of love and art and pain being transmuted into joy and
color and it's full of sacred symbols and geometry and
perfectly, imperfectly wonderful.
I've never painted in such a big space before.
And just letting myself enjoy taking up space, taking up so
much room just for the sake of it.
For the sake of it. I love that.
My best friend and I said that the other day.
We said that needs to be a life motto for the sake of it.
And as I step into this next chapter of my travel, I may
press pause on weekly episodes while I settle into a new
rhythm. And I will just be able to
record when I have space and proper, the proper setup.
Although I'm traveling with a little bit of equipment, I still
need to find somewhere that's quiet and, and peaceful and that
I can, you know, flow in. So we will see how that goes.
I'll keep you posted on Instagram.
And if you were looking at deepening this experience within
yourself and your own practice, I would highly recommend
checking out that meditation because it was created with
exactly that in mind by me, with love.
And once you download it, it is yours forever.
So you're really investing in your future of having
meditations for the whole year. Stocked up some of my pilgrimage
this year I will be talking about on the podcast.
Some of it I will just keep to myself as usual with my travels.
If you have followed along with any of my journeys in the past,
you will see that sometimes I'm sharing a lot and sometimes I'm
not sharing as much. And that usually is because I am
in a deep process with what I'm experiencing and it's not ready
to be shared yet or ever. And it's just for me.
And I love that I love, I love that there are some experiences
that really are just for our own hearts and minds.
And they don't have to be shared.
They don't have to be posted about.
No one has to know unless people need to know.
But I just mean like sacred moments, you know, that we have
to ourself in these journeys. And I'm grateful.
I'm curious where these new lands will will lead me.
I'm curious where the places I've been before that I'm going,
what they will, what medicine they will hold for me this time
around. And just reconnecting with my
ancestry, with the magic of the lands that I'm going to,
approaching with so much appreciation and gratitude and
honor for the chance to walk upon them, for the chance to
visit them and drink from their springs and ask the land what
its stories are. Just want to say thank you so
much for sitting in this space with me, for continuing to
choose curiosity over comfort, and for letting my words be a
small part of the journey. Until next time, open heart,
open mind. Stay curious.