From HP Studio. This is the unnerved banter.
Welcome back to the unnerved banter, it's the show where we
discuss topics that are strange terrifying, and sometimes just
plain silly. I'm your host, Chris freaky.
And if you're more used to our story episodes, this is a little
bit different. It's more of a conversational
platform. Now, today's banter episode is a
bit of a treat because we actually recorded this in
person. Typically, Jeremiah and I do
this over the phone and Shelby, and I happened to be traveling
through Illinois, where Jeremiah lives, and we were able to stop
and see him for a bit. So, we had to record something
in person with the time that we had, and we didn't have the
usual amount of time to research certain unnerving topics to
discuss. So, we decided to play a game
called. What would you do worst case
scenario Edition? I don't know.
It was something we can just made up on the spot, but I think
you guys will enjoy Joy. It was a lot of fun to record
and yeah, we just had a lot of fun hanging out in person.
So without further Ado, here is the episode hope you enjoy it.
Alright guys, we are actually in person, this never happens when
we do the ban sir, we always do it over the phone and Shelby and
I are in the area traveling through the area here in
Illinois, and we're visiting mr. Jeremiah.
So Jeremiah thanks for having us Yes of course.
Welcome to my bus. Yeah, we were in your bus.
Tell us about your bus. Well up until very recently.
I had a cool cow bell hanging near Chris but then his voice
was so loud that it made it ring every time.
And then he insulted it and he also insulted my dreams of
living in the mountains, one day with a cow and with the belt
around the neck of the cow. And so now I'm just trying to
figure out what to do with my life.
But other than that, my bus is pretty nifty and Thrifty I guess
it's pretty cool. Got a lot of shoes.
Way too many and because you work at a shoe store, I work
well, it's a specialty run store but no, it's really cool.
I have a ping pong table as an actual table that I eat on and I
don't own a fork at the moment. Yeah, he only has Chopsticks, we
were here the other night eating supper, and we're like, jarek,
have a fork. Nope, I'll have Chopsticks.
Nope, don't need it. Chopsticks and a knife.
And I don't own a spoon either. Yeah.
But you're making it work. Yep.
You're living the dream? I'm making it work.
I've got one mug and two plates in a cup and that's all I need.
Yep, that's right. It's pretty cool.
So yeah, it's fun to live by my friend, my good friends Chris
and she'll be again as neighbors.
Yeah. Been here for a week.
It's been fun. And so since we're here visiting
like I said we We decided to take advantage of the time we
have together and yeah, record an episode or at least a portion
of an episode because typically we have subjects that we talk
about certain unnerving subject certain yes.
My subjects typically we have them but now, yeah.
Sorry, my kingdom has fallen. My subjects have scattered but
typically we have some unnerving topics but we don't have that
prepared. So, Going to actually do a quick
little worst case, scenario type game.
I guess you could call it. I'm going to give Jeremiah some
worst-case scenarios, some unnerving scenarios, if you
will, and just to see what he would do, if he was in that
scenario and you all can imagine yourself in this situation and
what you would do. So Jeremiah, are you ready, sir?
Yes. Wait, are you going to answer
these two? I might chime in.
I don't know. This was a just me sort of,
well, I might spot. I might show do I win?
You work a fork. He's gay.
I kid. You not have a fork.
If you do good enough, I will give you a fork because it
metal. Yeah.
Oh, a shiny for a dinglehopper? Is it one of those hilariously
large salad fork? Yes, I knew it.
You know, you get to be a view it, tell you what, if I think
you do well enough on these questions, I will give you a
fork. I think Shelby will be okay with
that. We have enough Forks in our van
I think. Yeah, we can do.
The farc into our friend, Perfect.
All right, let's go. All right.
Worst case scenario. Jeremiah, you are out enjoying a
lovely day, in the desert, on a hiking trail, enjoying the
scenery and then all of a sudden, something bites you in
the leg, You Spin and twirl and say, whatever you say when you
get bit, what would you say? Oh, I'll shoot, ah Shucks, I'll
tease. She dang it, not again.
So you fall down. You look at the damage and there
are two. It's clearly, a snake bite is
what I'm getting to. Okay.
A snake bit you. But you did not see the snake
Slither away. All right.
So you don't know if it was a rattler you really don't know.
Okay. Here's the thing.
Chris I know a lot about the desert and snake bites.
Oh fantastic. So is it to singular punctures
or is there a small role? Punctures leading up to the two
larger punctures, because that would tell me a lot about what
kind of snake. It was and how much danger I was
it. Wow, you're such a snake nerd, I
had no idea. I just am a desert nerd.
You might just ace this test, so I don't have an answer for that,
but I just imagine two bite marks acceptable.
What does that mean? What kind of snakes are we
talking about? It's probably bad ones.
Okay? Probably bad one.
Yep. Venomous.
Is that more common with those behind?
Okay, perfect. So yeah.
Yeah, you you didn't see the snake, what do you do?
You are the only one out there, okay?
The farthest, your car is about 8 Miles Away.
You really hiked in deep and there's no one in sight.
What do you do? Okay, do you have water?
You have about a cup of water. There's a stream, another mile
ahead that you're hoping to refill at some fresh water.
So I have filtration, it's known to be fairly clean.
Water people drink from it, all But sure you have a, what's that
straw called, LifeStraw. Let's try you have a lifestyle
with okay, hmm. What do you do?
What do I do? Yeah, you probably don't want to
keep walking because that's not good for it, right?
Because the Venom, if it's venomous, that's the thing.
You don't know, it could spread. So the first thing you do is you
take you to cook until like, you chop the lady.
Take your two chopsticks and you insert one into each hole.
Plug rotating clockwise. So, I'm gonna do multiple
things. I'm going to call, you know, if
I can sell service, you don't have salsa, did you say that?
No, we, why are you hurting me? You know, I would this so worst
case may be this way. This snake, you know, so well
then I'm very briefly looking for the snake because if I can
find the snake I can tell you what kind of snake it is.
There's a snake hole near you snake lot.
There's no snake. Okay, to be seen.
So then I'm probably Marking the location somehow with a stick
and some kind of piece of something.
So I can tell whoever it is where the snake hole was and
they can come back in a theory and look because anti-venom is
specific to certain snake types. So what you would get, I'm
probably going into this to basically it helps a lot in
saving your life if they know what kind of snake that you and
which region it's from obviously it's helpful.
So I am most likely than gonna I'll be monitoring how I feel
very closely. I'm going to try to get to High
Ground if I can and look for any kind of signal on radio or cell
service. Some phones I believe have some
kind of SOS track option, that's, that's satellite-based.
So either way you do have that SOS feature on your phone, so I
would probably activate that because that'll continue to run
in the background as you go and then I'm probably gonna, geez,
suck the venom out. No, that doesn't work.
Okay, unfortunately. Okay, that's tricky.
I mean, at you, I mean, gonna set in quick if it's and it's
gonna kill you. It's gonna set in pretty quick,
so you're going to become either in Mobile or go down very fast.
So I'm going to probably depending on whether or not I've
told someone where I was going to hike.
I'm a head for the team and mile away towards the way you were
hiking originally potentially? Yeah, I mean, it depends on the
terrain and stuff if there's shade nearby.
So I met either head for the stream or head for the shade.
I might tourniquet. My leg off just like it cuts off
the blood flow, but like I said, pretty quickly.
You're going to know if you're in Mortal danger, you'll know if
you're going to go down. Yeah, you're not gonna you're
not gonna last long. So one of the better things you
can do, from what I understand and my experience with that kind
of thing is to Limit your movement, get into the shade and
hope that somebody just comes by.
I like your way of thinking through it because I would never
have thought of marking the spot for people to know what kind of
snake. It is to go back to and figure
out. That's a good way to potentially
help you further down the phone thing.
I never thought that either. So yeah, I'm impressed so far,
so good. And, by the way, I want to
preface this, by saying we're experts, so we know what we're
talking about. That's not true.
This is just our opinion. We're not professionals.
This doesn't mean. This is what you do.
This is just hard being. Yeah.
Chris, they can take that sound bite and blackmail.
You. I mean, you got to be careful
nowadays. I'm telling you, I'm telling
you, I say pass. I'm kind of very good.
Jeremiah, it sounds good to me anyways.
Okay, so next scenario, here we go.
You are in the grocery store. All right, just get in here.
You're a few groceries. For the we are as you do.
All of a sudden. When you hear someone scream and
a man yells, get down on the ground to everyone, okay?
He's not just stealing from the cash registers and taking off
this is a hostage situation. Okay?
Okay, he needs a hostage instead that he can then get will just
say a hundred thousand dollars, okay?
In communication with the police.
All right? And a getaway vehicle.
So now we need the hostage. He's looking around.
Everyone's on the ground. He sees I've peed my pants.
Yep, he's easy. Eat your bands and that you're
the perfect ending curiously in a puddle of mango juice in the
juice aisle because you know, there were shots and bullet must
have hit the mango pineapple juice jar and he looks over and
I'm in a puddle of yellow liquid.
But then he sees that there is actually a can of pineapple
juice in my hand with a bullet hole through it.
Like oh, so he sees you and thanks.
Perfect, hostage, I can take him.
If he grabs, you fix you up holds a gun to your head.
So strong. You are now the hostage and he
is giving his demands over the phone.
Yeah, people are filming this. So, within minutes, there's
Police SWAT, you name it. But you are the hostage.
Hmm. What do you do?
That's mr. Hostage to you, he's got gun to
your head and okay. Okay, yeah.
All right. What do you do?
I'm just gonna hang out. What's he gonna do?
I mean he wants money, just give him the money and they let me
go. That's a bike.
That's a true technically that's what you really should, okay?
Chris but I want like my Jog and meal, I want a John Wick answer,
he's dragging me along. If you were the super action
figure that you want to really be.
I'll tell you what I'll do. What are you going to do?
This is what I do. He's dragging me along.
I'm like dot Misa and he's dragging me closer and closer to
the puddle of juice. What's that?
I can of beans. I tell him I was going to get
these He's anyways, I grabbed the beans.
I'm waiting, I'm waiting in his foot inches, closer, and closer
and closer to the pineapple juice.
Then slips into the pineapple juice.
I seized My Moment. He's off balance finger slips
off the trigger. Beans come up, hits the temple.
Sweep, the knee, hit the head, take the gun, get the rest of
the beans that I needed, and leave perfect.
The cops do the rest the SWAT team comes in.
Yep, another thing I would well maybe I I'd just try to like,
become his friend. Oh, you know, that's nice.
Just say. Okay.
Hey bud, what are you struggling with?
Try to talk him down? Yeah, yeah.
Hey guy I can't be that bad. Can it SWAT takes them out?
Get them boys. Okay, I'll give you a pass.
All right. Yeah, that was good.
That was good. Thank you.
Yeah, I liked the can of beans thing and how you work that.
I mean I did buy three cans of beans today so that was not a
goof and turns out because of your heroism.
They let you take the beans for her.
I thought you were going to see the money but no, they're
handsome. Sorry, you just can't have some
of the money I did take him out. No, free can of beans.
Okay, I get the gun. I grab a hostage, You join.
I'm in charge now. No, he's down.
Oh, he's a hostage. He's down.
Soak in in a in a puddle of Bean Juice and coconut.
No duelist pineapple. You do a Switcheroo.
Okay, hit me with another. All right, a fork.
All right, here we go. I hope I'm doing okay.
I need a fork and I need it. Now, I've got dinner to eat.
All right, your next scenario, you are in the middle of the
forest. All by yourself hiking, you're
on one of the trails. Everything seems to be
hunky-dory. It's kind of later in the year.
Typically the snow doesn't start falling yet, but you just happen
to not. Look at the weather report and
all of a sudden, a blizzard hits out of nowhere.
Gosh. Yeah.
You did not see this coming. You are not prepared.
You do not have the right equipment, the right food.
Resources. Your only option is to get to
shelter as quick as possible. You're too far in.
You have to find shelter. Am I though?
Yeah, you have far. You're eight miles in, okay?
Okay. Yeah, you don't have time to get
back to your car. Well right?
You make your way through a bunch of brush and you come to a
cabin. Oh, doors are locked.
Okay, so you think, well, I'll have to break in and you find a
window. You're about to break it open
because this blizzards really coming in.
So you have Rockin hand. You're about to break the
window. And then all of a sudden, you
hear The Cry of a baby. Oh, my, what is that?
You follow the noise? Behind the cabin.
There is a car. And in the back seat of the car
and a baby car seat. There is a child, Elsa from
Frozen. She's crying, and it's making it
snow, okay. Yeah.
There's a child. All right, in the back of this
car and no adult to be seen anywhere.
Wow, what do you do? Well, this is this, okay, man?
At first, I was just going to say, I can trail run that eight
miles and no time flat. The snow is coming.
Weight is a complete whiteout, like you have to find shelter,
if you try to trail run that eight miles.
You're not going to make it the trails disappearing.
I mean, oh yeah, I mean you can go that route.
It's just like I don't need to. Now I've got all the everything
I need. I've got a right, you have a
shelter that your shelter you're about to break into, but you
have a I'll down to take your, I have a child, you know, I can't
go running off and got a child to look at.
Yeah. If you choose to provide are you
can just leave the baby in the car?
Well, no, okay we go. Okay, is there gas in the car?
Is it running? Is there a key?
There's no key doors are unlocked.
Doors, are open doors are unlocked.
Okay, footprints on the ground. There's already snow.
There are no footprints in the ground.
You don't know how long that baby's been there.
I'm going to feel the vents are they warm?
No cold. I'm going to feel the engine.
Is it warm? No cold.
All right, I'm gonna look around.
Is there how small is this baby? No baby.
Okay, is there a baby bag? Look at AP date bag.
No there's not no food. No food.
What's in the trunk? A tire can babies heat baby
hungry baby. Won't hire baby need are getting
the baby bringing it in yelling a lot yell, yell yell.
Hello anyone. There is this your baby?
I found your baby. Such things then.
I'm gonna get a fire going or something in there.
Get a nice and toasty. Hmm, look for some food.
Do I find food? There is no food.
Is there gas in the car? Did you say there's a little big
ass in the car? Yes.
Okay. Okay.
You can do eat drink the gas. Is that your no resource?
So there is gas in the car. This baby is clearly
malnutritioned. Also sound like this thing needs
food. You have a phone you do but
again Oh survey. I'm gonna see if I can get
service. I'm going to go climb around.
See if I can get on top of the house.
You can have something. It's windy.
It's blowing full whiteout. I mean, imagine like the worst
kind of lizard. Okay.
At this point, the amount of time that's gone by like, snow
is stacking pretty good. Baby already.
Looks now malnourished. Yeah.
Also the baby is diaper. A Florida poopoo.
Oh, it's full of poo poo. Yeah.
You are you going to do? I mean, I'll just take something
something in the cabin, cut it. Make makeshift diaper for baby
easy. This cabin is completely cleared
out. There's nothing there's a
fireplace, but no furniture, no nothing, there's no water,
there's a sink there, but there's no water, there's a
fridge. But finally empty, no power.
I've got a knife because I always have a knife so I slice
the seats out of the car. Oh there you go.
Fabric and you make a diaper. Be you make it tightly and
fabric. Yeah, easy nice wipies as well.
Wipey wipey, then the IP. Okay.
So you can getting some snow. Maybe bring it in.
Oh, get some water that way? Yep.
See if baby will drink water. Okay.
And then I'm getting in the car and I'm driving out.
Okay. You can't drive out.
Why nokey dokey? Hot-wiring, even if you could
car, won't start because a dedicated then I'm walking out
in the blizzard. Yeah, with a baby.
Yes definitely wrap them up. Eight miles, is not that far.
This is like the worst blizzard this area has ever seen.
Okay. Then is it because you don't
want to wait it out with the baby?
No, that'd be fine. I'm just worried that if I
waited out it's going to get so deep.
That's true. Can't get out.
That's a good point. It all depends on how high up.
We are in the mountains. I absolutely.
I can tell you, I didn't not check the weather all week.
I check the weather. I know you don't have that yet.
You didn't though. No, I just missed it at but I
would know, I would know because I do I always now.
So I would know if it was going to be sunny like the next two
days or something. But you looked on your weather
app and you just happen to have. Hey, did you just happen to have
the wrong location? And because you were also
curious what the weather was like in the keys, okay?
So you would grab the baby strapped it to you and try to
hike out of there. Well, maybe a full eight miles.
Well, hold on. Are we on a hillside is there
high ground? I can get to.
It's pretty flat and like I said, you're not familiar with
this area so you don't know. This is all highly unlikely.
It could, I would be unfamiliar with the area and hike and not
check the weather. And pick the wrong location.
I mean, you were off. This was just an off of a,
you're very hungry, the baby's malnourished, and obviously very
hungry. I think your first plan of
action is figuring out what you do for food and by the way, you
don't have any food on you also. Unlikely always carry Trails
snakes. Yeah, I mean I wish I could get
a better idea for what Mike it was.
Whether I had a compass that kind of thing.
You can ask any I'll tell you what you have, you don't know,
you don't know me. I don't know.
I it's hard because there's I mean I can trail run eight miles
in not that long, I mean and I used to trail run in but with
like 10 degrees in snow but with the weight of another baby,
baby. Small, baby, small.
Yeah, okay. And I mean it would be a slow
run of course but I mean a couple hours and I'd be out.
Okay. So that it all depends.
It depends on Like, terrain the type of Trail how well marked it
was. So it's hard to answer that one
because if it was truly like I think you're getting at like,
there's no way you could find the trail, there's no way you
could go back down. Hmm.
Then you're Building A Fire, your hunkering down, you're
getting whatever food, you know, like pine needle, tea, whatever,
you're cutting the seats out of the car to insulate, some kind
of baby bed. You're getting wood for the
fire. Mmm, you're potentially looking
for food source in whatever you can scrape together.
But hydrating, the baby would be first priority.
So tell me this. So are you leaning towards
hunkering down in the cabin with the child and trying to make
ends meet one way or another or you going to take advantage of
the time you have right now, before it gets too deep of snow
and try to hike out there with the baby, you have to choose
one. Hmm, my gut tells me and based
on how much time I've spent in the woods that I could get out.
So that's probably what I try to do.
Eight miles out, especially that had a compass.
Which usually I do and whistle at the very least.
Okay. Here's what I think.
I think you set out, you get three miles, you're dead
exhausted, you've completely lost your way.
Baby has soiled himself again and since you have baby like
under your clothing and stuff, your body temperature is
dropping. So is the babies and because the
baby wet himself is now Frozen to you.
You get lost and you both freeze to death.
You didn't tell me what happened with the other two you lose?
No, I don't lose you lose on this one.
No. You made that up because you
didn't want me to do that. I'm the judge.
I don't get a fork. No, I'm not saying that you're
still two out of three, correct. I don't know about that.
There's too many variables I say we leave it open.
I lean towards the cabin. That's why I'm saying.
Fail on this one. That's just my opinion.
I see, totally where you're coming from on this too.
I think that could be the right thing to do, but how I imagined
it is the end for both of you. If you go that route, maybe you
all can chime in less know what. You think what you would do
differently? Bo can chime in and tell Chris.
He's wrong. That's you.
You can tell me I'm wrong. I'm okay with that.
Guess what? You want, a fork, nice.
Just pretend that you're, like, presenting it to me or
something. Jeremiah, yes, Chris for
surviving. Thank you.
And worst-case scenarios through desert and snow and hostage
situations. You sir are rewarded.
This beautiful silver. Stainless steel day in Walmart,
special for come. I give to you sir.
Thank you, thank you. Met you Each with the accuracy
and stability of a sumo wrestler.
I just wish these things are reusable.
It's such a shame. It's so beautiful.
It is reusable. Oh, it's stainless steel.
Oh, don't throw this away. Run away.
I will smack you along the head. If you throw away this Fork,
that's why I ran out. Yeah, I thought they, I just, I
mean, okay. We got a lot to talk about.
Yeah. So yeah.
Lots to learn off the off, day off the air.
Yep. You all right.
Good job. James Chris.
Thanks for those. Great scenarios.
Yeah. Those unnerving scenarios.
Yeah, I was unnerved. All right, chip party.
Yeah. Now we're gonna eat some chips.
All right, that's gonna do it for this episode of the banter.
Hope you guys enjoyed that episode.
As much as we did recording it. I actually just talk to
Jeremiah. It's been about two weeks since
we recorded that, and he is happily using his Fork very
often. So, in case you were wondering,
if he went back to the Chopsticks or not.
So anyways, guys, thank you so much for listening and as
always, like, subscribe, follow wherever you get your podcast.
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