Please note that this episode contains mature and potentially
triggering subject matter. So I am not going to ask you how
you all got a department store's worth of skin care products into
camp. But we can do it to my parents
house. My mom is a shopaholic and she
won't miss any of this LA. La La La La La La.
I'm not listening to you. Oh.
June honestly felt like we were sneaking out to get drugs.
I need plausible deniability. Seems like you're really
enjoying your Amazonian mud mask though.
I am. Margo ow, sorry, I'm not good at
this. Here, try this hair mask.
Leave the brush into someone who knows what they're doing.
Marg. Thank you.
Oh, and while you wait for the mask to do it's masky thing, I
brought reading materials. Your mom gets a lot of
magazines. I mean, yeah, what else does she
have to do? Aren't those things all just
like sex tips and lipstick recommendations?
No way. I'm surprised at you, Margot.
I thought you were a feminist. Just because it's geared towards
women doesn't mean it's frivolous fluff.
There's tons of cultural stuff. Look, this issue has a whole
article about an artist that's totally fascinating.
This is the Crime at Camp Ashwood Episode 9.
Everyone I Have ever slept with. Everyone I have ever slept with
1963 to 1995. Seems like it's still about sex
to me. Well, if it took the time to
read the whole article, you'd learn that it's about an art
installation called The Tent that this really cool woman
named Tracy Edmond created. It has a list of all the people
she's ever slept with, but not just sexually, Also slept next
to non romantically like friends at slumber parties, family
members on vacation, people from different parts of her life's
history. I thought it was really
interesting. That actually is.
Kind of cool, see? Don't judge the Zine by its.
Cover. So how many people would be on
your list if you made one? 35. 35.
Well, I'm really popular. You want to share your list,
June? That would not be appropriate.
Do you have people on it that you've?
Slept with, Slept with. Sharing that would be way not
appropriate. You do then.
So you guys want to hear another ghost story?
Don't change the subject. Girls, seriously come.
On We're Just curious on women trying to become more educated
on the subject. You seem like a resource for us.
My personal life is not. Personal life, dude.
Do you have a boyfriend? It's so weird.
I've always just thought of you as like, our camp mom.
I'm only like 10 years older than you, right?
But you're like Margot, you know, really into the whole
camper thing. It's kind of your personality.
Hey, I didn't mean anything. Bad.
By it, I just I can't imagine you have much of A life outside.
OK, let's nip this in the bud, because I feel like you're just
gonna keep asking until you get an answer.
You're right. I am a camp girl.
I do have a boyfriend, and he is a camp guy.
You're. Dating a camper, June?
No, no, gross. He's a counselor.
Which counselor? Yeah.
Who is it? Someone who is very important to
me, but we're keeping it private because Ashwood doesn't exactly
encourage counselor relationships.
When you girls are older, you'll understand that all of this
stuff isn't as wild and scandalous as it feels now, and
none of it is anyone's business. So let's try to be grown-ups
about it, OK? I let you guys stay at pass
curfew and you can let me have this right?
Of course. Right.
Sure, Great. Now please pass me the nail
Polish remover. And while we're at it, let me
tell you about the night Misty Willis's spirit came up through
the shower pipes and rained bleach down on a girl's hair
until it all fell out in the drain.
I thought I'd have to twist Veronica's arm more to let me
keep this new box of obvious evidence.
At least we've gotten on the same page that the actual
detectives aren't going to do anything for the case.
Naturally, with all signs pointing to Sadie's father being
involved in her disappearance, they might care even less than
they did before he's dead. Why bother chasing a lead to
nowhere but I We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt.
She left all this information behind for a reason.
I need to go through it with the finest of Combs.
As much as the entire implication behind what we've
read so far makes me want to vomit, it doesn't outweigh how
much I want to get answers, or how weirdly excited I am to have
more of Sadie's journals to read.
Obviously there were things she wanted me to know, and I'm more
than ready to know them now. March 1st, 2003.
I'm not. Sure, what my mom does with her
days. She's been a stay at home parent
since I was born, but I've been too old to be parented since I
was right. About 10 I'd say.
And even before then, if I'm being honest, it was sort of me
being the mom and not the other way around.
Those drives on the way to school where she blasted music
and screamed along, I don't know that she was always singing for
fun. It sounded more like she needed
a release. She's always let me grow up as
quick as I wanted though, which is a perk of being kind of
momless and more sister feeling with your parent, I guess.
I was the first girl in my grade to get pierced ears and a book
about the birds and the bees was left on my bed before the start
of 4th grade. She lets me read all her grown
up magazines too. This month I grabbed her copy of
Elle and read a whole thing about this artist who made a
list of everyone she'd ever slept with, either intimately or
platonically. I thought it was so cool, a way
to keep track of everything, so I made one of my own.
I'm calling it People Who've Slept With.
Sadie. I have a vague memory of Sadie
obsessing over this tent installation thing that last
summer, but I never saw her list, and I never made my own
either. I know now that I didn't
understand art or history or much of anything when I was a
teenager. I didn't get the point or the
intention behind things the way Sadie did.
I couldn't see the depths, so I had made a show of thinking the
whole thing was meant to make women feel inferior for not
sleeping with the correct number of people, romantic or
otherwise. Plus, I think at 16, I felt
pretty insecure about what my number might have been.
I didn't have many friends to have sleepovers with back home,
no siblings to hang out with on late summer nights.
My reputation as a girl whose world revolved around camp had
been mostly accurate, but thinking about it now, I wish
I'd kept better track of everything through the years.
There is something inherently intimate about sharing space
with someone when you're vulnerable, something worth
remembering. I'm not sure I could piece a
full list back together from the past 20 years if I tried to.
So much of what's happened in my life since Sadie left, it has
been foggy and unfocused, stopped journaling, even for
myself, after the joint journal was stolen.
There's really no account of me, no great accomplishments to
track or googleable articles to point to, no record that someone
could dive into. If one day I were gone, aside
from me and Mike's wedding photos, I might as well be a
ghost too. Sadie's list is 35 people long.
Of course Veronica and I are on there, and I recognize some of
these other girls names from her school friends and even one of
my cousins who I know we had a slumber party with back when we
were in elementary school. There's her cousins, her mom.
And. Her dad.
Of course, that doesn't totally prove anything.
Either way, she could be referring to sharing a hotel
room with them on an innocuous trip.
I want and need to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it's
clear that at least something was seriously amiss in their
home. She had a reason to want to be
away from him, to be free, like she said in her journal pages.
I'm not going to lie, when I read those words, I had a tiny
glimmer of hope that maybe. But before I could even finish
the sentence, Veronica was telling me not to say it.
Because neither of us could go through the pain of having hope
and losing it all over again. That her hand had floated to the
surface and the DNA had matched. That no one had seen her or
reported anything related to her since 2003.
That the one thing we know is that she's been dead for 20
years, but people live without hands.
Stop it, Marco. This is why I need to get a
definitive answer so I can stop looking over my shoulder and
thinking maybe there's a miracle waiting behind me so I can
finally stop looking in that direction at all.
Oh, Paul's name is on Sadie's list with a star next to it.
Does that mean they had sex? Because as far as Veronica and I
knew it, as far as Paul has told anyone that never happened, I
guess it could just mean that she saw him romantically and
maybe they fell asleep at his house by accident one time.
Or the only other name on the list with a star by it isn't a
name at all. Its initials RKI, recognize
everyone else on here. Who the hell is that?
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Ashwood. If you enjoyed this podcast,
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