1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,100 I want to invite your attention to just one passage found in the 2 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:08,600 Book of Proverbs the 18th chapter and verse 24, a man that 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,100 hath friends must show himself friendly. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,100 And there's a friend that sticketh closer than a brother 5 00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:17,300 for a little while. This afternoon, I want to talk 6 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,800 about the value of a good friend, the value of good 7 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,600 relationships, the kind of friends that we want and how to 8 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,900 maintain good relationships in our life. 9 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:31,600 As social creatures, living Hang on this Earth. 10 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,600 It's impossible to avoid associations with fellow human 11 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,200 beings. In fact, as Christians. 12 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,600 It's very important that our dealings with other people be 13 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,100 conducted with wisdom. Paul wrote to those in colossi 14 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,100 in Colossians, chapter 4 and beginning. 15 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:52,000 In verse 5, he said, walk in wisdom toward them that are 16 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:56,000 without Redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with 17 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,500 Grace seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to 18 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:03,100 answer every man. Now, obviously, Paul, Is 19 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:06,300 speaking specifically of our conduct with those who are not 20 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:10,400 Christians but certainly it would apply to Christian friends 21 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,000 as well. And, you know, God and is 22 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,400 all-sufficient word. Has provided the wisdom 23 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,400 necessary whereby, we can develop good friendships. 24 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,800 Good relationships with those that are around us and in doing 25 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,600 so be able to avoid the pitfalls that too often. 26 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:32,800 Destroy good friendships. Let me just say as we begin. 27 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,400 In. That in our life. 28 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,600 There comes a point in time in our life when we were younger 29 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:43,600 that the greatest influences that we have are our parents 30 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,900 something happens though in time. 31 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:50,900 And sometimes the outer peripheral issues or the people 32 00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:54,100 in our life, our friends. In our life, whatever it might 33 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:58,400 be become a greater influence, at least for a period of time. 34 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,800 We share with you something about my father, My father was 35 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,400 the smartest man in the world, that's a fact. 36 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,500 When I was a boy there was absolutely nothing that my 37 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,900 father could not do. He was the greatest man in the 38 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,900 world. He was the smartest man in the 39 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,000 world. He was the wisest man in the 40 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,200 world. He was the strongest man in the 41 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:20,800 world. My father was my hero. 42 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,200 But something happened to him very tragically. 43 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:30,200 He lost all his wisdom, he lost all of his knowledge, he lost 44 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,800 all of his strength. Who's very sad, very sad and 45 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,400 tragic thing that happened to him. 46 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,200 You know, what happened to him. Now, all of a sudden one day 47 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,100 that he lost all that, It's when I became a teenager. 48 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,400 And all of a sudden my father didn't know anything. 49 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:50,000 I'm very grateful though that it over the process of time. 50 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,300 My father made a tremendous comeback. 51 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,800 In fact, it was amazing by the time I got into my twenties. 52 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,600 All of a sudden, my father was coming back, he was me was 53 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:04,300 coming back around and pretty soon, maybe, 23 24. 54 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:09,200 He was the smartest man once again in my life. 55 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:13,500 Well, there are a difference between associations and 56 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,600 friends, in fact, my dad used to tell me all the time. 57 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,400 He used to say that in your life, you will have many 58 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,700 associations, but if you can say that in your life, you've had 59 00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,600 five real friends. I'm talking about five best 60 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,600 friends. I'm talking about the kind of 61 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,100 person that you can call them in the middle of the night and the 62 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:35,600 circumstances, do not matter and they are there for you. 63 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,700 I'm talking about a best friend, he said that in your lifetime. 64 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:45,300 if you can say, you've had five Consider yourself very, very 65 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,800 fortunate. Big difference between 66 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,800 associations. You know, you're going to have a 67 00:03:49,808 --> 00:03:51,400 lot of associations in your life. 68 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,800 I've had them in my life too. I left Cal Poly in 1990. 69 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,800 I was there from 85, to 90 and during that process of those 70 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,700 five years, I had friends and I went to school with I had 71 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:06,900 friends that I rodeoed with, we traveled together at all of 72 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,100 that. And I'm going to tell you, I 73 00:04:08,108 --> 00:04:11,900 remember when we all were going to leave, I remember we stood 74 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,400 there, we were going to be Bosom Buddies. 75 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,600 He's forever. We said what we're going to do? 76 00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,300 We're going to play golf once a year for the rest of our life, 77 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,800 no matter where we live. And by the way, we haven't done 78 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,500 it once. So 1990, haven't done it. 79 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:26,100 Once. We said that we are going to be 80 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:29,300 Bosom Buddies For Life. You know what happened? 81 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:34,000 I moved away and the thing that we had in common, we no longer 82 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000 had any more. So all of a sudden there was 83 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,600 nothing really, there's no basis for the great friendship. 84 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:45,500 We thought we had, if you remove You had in common then all of a 85 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,500 sudden, we weren't buddies anymore. 86 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:53,300 Now, that's an association and we have them in our life. 87 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,600 We have those in our lifetime, but there's a difference between 88 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,800 a friend and an association. I want to talk about a friend. 89 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:07,400 Now, A friend is truly a source of comfort in our life. 90 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,600 In Proverbs chapter 17 and verse 17. 91 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:13,100 The Bible says a friend loveth at all. 92 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,800 Times. And a brother is born for 93 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,200 adversity. And, you know, this isn't good 94 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:24,000 times and bad. A good friend also is a source 95 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,700 of sincere support. You know, I reference this the 96 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,300 other night but I want to read the passage. 97 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,900 I want to talk about the difference between a true 98 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,800 legitimate friend. That is that is sincere and 99 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,400 somebody that is insincere, John chapter 11 really, really 100 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:44,800 quickly, Mary and Martha Lou's, Lazarus, he's dead and all of a 101 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,100 sudden Jesus shows up on the scene I just want to Read two 102 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:51,200 verses to you. First of all, John chapter 11 103 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:55,500 and verse 33, listen to this, when Jesus therefore saw her 104 00:05:55,500 --> 00:06:00,400 weeping and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he 105 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,200 groaned in his spirit and he was troubled. 106 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:06,200 I made mention of this passage early on in the meeting. 107 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:10,200 And I told you that the word grown their means to be filled 108 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:14,200 with indignation, to be disgusted to be angry. 109 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,000 Why was that? Because Jesus look to the 110 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,000 instance. Sear professional mourners among 111 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,300 the Jews that had come there to whale and make all kinds of 112 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:27,400 noise because they believed in morning. 113 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,100 That's insincere. Look at verse 35. 114 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,400 Jesus wept. That's a whole different word 115 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,800 that word wept is not the same word. 116 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,500 When it said, the Jews were weeping. 117 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:48,800 The Jews were wailing outside as an outward show of morning and 118 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,000 all of that. But when Jesus wept that word, 119 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,300 wept means, silent tears. He was sincere. 120 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:59,300 The greatest friend we will ever have and the Raising thing is 121 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,500 Jesus knew all along, he was going to raise Lazarus from the 122 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:08,200 dead and yet he was so sincere in his support and comfort to 123 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:13,200 them that he wept anyway. You know, there's a big 124 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,800 difference between being sincere and insincere, I have a little 125 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,300 story to tell you. My Sister, Louise. 126 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,400 I probably shouldn't bring her up in sermons as much as I do. 127 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,800 But my sister Louise married the bread hickey. 128 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,500 I love her to death. She's the most sincere person 129 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,200 I've ever met in my life. She's tender-hearted. 130 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,400 That's just Louise and it growing up mean. 131 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,100 Well not so much one day, I was about eleven. 132 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:43,400 She was 12 and the congregation we had services that night and 133 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:47,400 after Services the men had a little business meeting and as 134 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,300 they were doing that, we decided to leave and my mother. 135 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:53,700 There was four of us kids. We got in a car and we went over 136 00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:56,700 to his sister's house. And we were just sitting there 137 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,400 and Louise and I started laughing and then we started 138 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,400 really cutting up. We start playing games and my 139 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,100 mom kept getting mad at us. My mother kept telling us to 140 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,500 knock it off, but you know how it is? 141 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,700 Well, maybe you don't, but I'll tell you how it is with me. 142 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,100 When you start laughing I couldn't stop and we were being 143 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:15,200 extremely immature, I still am. But here we go and my mother 144 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:20,600 completely overreacted She absolutely overreacted. 145 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,700 She was so mad. We got in the car. 146 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,500 You know what, my mom did? We got in the car and I knew 147 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,100 this to, I knew if we're going to get in trouble that I need to 148 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:31,000 be in the back seat. All the way over on the opposite 149 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,900 side against the door. That's where I needed to be. 150 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:38,400 Because, my father had really long arms knew all about that, 151 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,500 we get in the car and all of a sudden, my mother says, oh, Bob, 152 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:46,000 Bob, we've got real problems. Bob, we've got real problems 153 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,200 with these two Bob. They were Abel. 154 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:52,800 And I just kind of picked up and saw my dad in the corner there 155 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,800 in that mirror and he's getting madder by the minute. 156 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,800 And all of a sudden I turned and I looked and there was Louise, 157 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,800 just tears streaming down her face. 158 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,500 Oh, she was so repentant and sorry, and sad and all that. 159 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:09,500 And she went in and gave the longest longest heartfelt 160 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,400 apology. She said, I'm so ashamed. 161 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,000 I'm I'm so sorry. Daddy and went on and on and on 162 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,600 I got to tell you the more she talked the matter. 163 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,500 I got You know, why? I wasn't sorry. 164 00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:25,200 And I still think my mother overreacted she's bawling, and I 165 00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:28,300 looked up and my dad's starting to melt and I'm thinking really, 166 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:32,700 really What about that time? She was done. 167 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,500 And then, all of a sudden, my dad's face changed again because 168 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:42,000 he starts thinking about me, and just about that time. 169 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:47,200 I knew I had to do something. So I said, yeah, me too. 170 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,700 We got home. Louise got a hug. 171 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:54,600 I had a weapon. Big difference between being 172 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,800 sincere and insincere. My mother did overreact though. 173 00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:02,100 Proverbs 18:24 a man that hath friends must show himself 174 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,400 friendly. And there's a friend that stick 175 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,300 is close to a brother. Now, what else do we know about 176 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,800 friends? We know that friends can be a 177 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,800 source of Good Counsel, that's advice. 178 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:15,400 I'm talking about Council, that Candlelight the heart, Proverbs 179 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,600 twenty seven and nine says Altman and perfume Rejoice. 180 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,200 The heart sewed up, the sweetness of a man's Friend by 181 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:28,000 Hardy, Counsel how many times have you behaved improperly or 182 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,700 you made a bad choice because you listen to bad advice. 183 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,400 Now, when somebody gives you bad advice, it's not their fault. 184 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,700 If you take it, it's your fault. If you take it, it's about 185 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:41,300 accountability. If I make bad choices because 186 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:45,300 somebody gave me bad advice, it's still my fault and I still 187 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:48,400 have to stand there. Put my big boy pants on and take 188 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,000 it, like a man, it's the way it is. 189 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:55,500 But I got to tell you every Single time I ever made a bad 190 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:59,000 choice in my life. Every time there was always 191 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:03,100 somebody nearby that was dumber than I was telling me what a 192 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:08,000 great idea I had. Good advice is priceless. 193 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,300 Bad advice is dangerous. It's very important as we value 194 00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,800 Good Counsel. Let me say further, to all of 195 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,800 you that are young here, all of you that are young, when you 196 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,500 have older people in your life and they've got silver hair and 197 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,200 wrinkles on their face, you listen to them. 198 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:28,300 Those wrinkles are life swarm apps. 199 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,400 That's a fact. I'm going to tell you something. 200 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,400 In life. You need wisdom. 201 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,500 I need wisdom. We all need wisdom in our life. 202 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:40,000 We all need that. There are various ways that we 203 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,300 actually get wisdom. By the way, we get wisdom by 204 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:48,200 asking God in the Bible says, when we ask God, God gives it 205 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,700 liberally. That's number one. 206 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:52,800 Number two, there's another way that we get wisdom. 207 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,200 You know what that is? When you mess up, you make a bad 208 00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,200 mistake, then you recover from the bad mistake and then you 209 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,800 learn over the process of what you did. 210 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:07,100 You learn from the mistake and then you gain wisdom because 211 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:10,200 now, you know, But you shouldn't have done and what you should 212 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,500 have done, right? I like what somebody said one 213 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,200 time though. He said it's not possible for a 214 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:22,900 person to mess up enough and survive to have all the wisdom 215 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,400 that you're going to need for your life. 216 00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:29,200 Where do we get it? Then we learn from them is from 217 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,800 the experiences of others, that's called advice and those 218 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:39,100 that are older than we are our precious for us in Proverbs 219 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:42,300 11:14 where no counsel is the people fall, but in the 220 00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:46,900 multitude of counselors there is safety now. 221 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,200 Having a good friend that can be trusted to be as good source of 222 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,800 counsel is a great blessing, but having friends that are 223 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,900 Dependable is not always Easy now. 224 00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,200 Have you ever had a friend that lets you down? 225 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:02,600 Sometimes friends do let us down. 226 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,300 I want to notice about choosing friends here for just a minute. 227 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:10,200 These are people that we don't want number one, we don't want 228 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,100 those that are guilty of Gossip in Proverbs, Chapter 20 and 229 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,600 verse 19. It says he that goeth about as a 230 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:21,300 talebearer revealeth Secrets, therefore metal not with him 231 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:26,300 that Flat Earth with his lips. All right. 232 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,700 Somebody might say, but I'm not gossiping. 233 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,300 I'm just repeating facts that are in evidence. 234 00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:43,200 Is there a difference? Yes, just because somebody 235 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:48,000 repeats something does not mean that it's gossip. 236 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,000 If you want to know if it's gossip or not then just put the 237 00:13:52,008 --> 00:13:56,400 following questions to it. Number one, am I a peacemaker or 238 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:00,500 a piece breaker? Number two, am I just as quick 239 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:04,900 to tell something good about somebody as I am something bad 240 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:08,700 about somebody number three and I got this from a little sister, 241 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:12,100 I preached This sermon years ago somewhere and she told me this, 242 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:16,000 she said my mama taught me this, I wrote it down, ask yourself 243 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,800 the following three things. Is this going to help me if I 244 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,900 repeat it? Will it help me? 245 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,500 Will it help the person I'm telling or will it help the 246 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:30,200 person that I'm telling about? If the answer to any one of 247 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,000 those? Three is? 248 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:35,000 No, then don't tell it. Don't repeat it. 249 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:41,800 We don't want to be those that are with those that gossip 250 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,800 progress, 2019. He that goeth about his a 251 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,500 talebearer revealeth Secrets. Therefore metal not with him, 252 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,600 that flatter it with his lips. Here's another one, 253 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:55,300 short-tempered hotheads. I guess, you might say we don't 254 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:58,000 want that guy around. Either Proverbs 22 beginning in 255 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,400 verse 25, 24, make no friends with an angry man and with a 256 00:15:02,408 --> 00:15:05,500 furious man. Thou shalt not go less towel. 257 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,700 Learn his ways and get a snare to thy Soul. 258 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,100 Here's another one. Those that are guilty of 259 00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:16,200 drinking and gluttony how many Christians have been influenced 260 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,800 by these. Even though they thought that 261 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,300 they would be strong, listen to this Proverbs 23 beginning in 262 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,800 verse 20, be not among wine-bibber. 263 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,300 Zmung riotous Eaters of Flesh for the drunkard and the Glutton 264 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:30,800 shall come to poverty and drowsiness, shall clove a man 265 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:35,000 with Rags. I got to tell you I can't tell 266 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,300 you the number of people in my life that I have known. 267 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:43,600 That thought a young person for example, I don't drink but I'm a 268 00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:47,400 strong Christian and if I go and kind of hang out with them, it's 269 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,400 okay because I'm really really strong. 270 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,000 I'm going to tell you something. The one of the times that we 271 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:57,200 think that we are the strongest be very careful, be very very 272 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,900 careful we stay away from that we don't want friends like that. 273 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,400 How many people thought that they could be strong but they 274 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,900 fell. No wonder the word, the Bible 275 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,200 says this listen to this Proverbs Chapter 1. 276 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:13,800 This is the perfect formula of what to do when you have friends 277 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,300 that are doing, the things that friend should not do. 278 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,200 Here we go. Proverbs Chapter 1. 279 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,400 This is what we do. My son. 280 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,900 If Sinners entice, the he consent thou not. 281 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:29,300 If they say come and with us, let us lay, wait for blood, let 282 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:34,600 us lurk privily for the innocent without, cause let us swallow 283 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,600 them up, alive to the grass, the grave. 284 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:40,400 And whole, as those that go down into the pit, we shall find all 285 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,700 precious substance. We shall fill our houses with 286 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:46,900 spoil cast in nylon Among Us. Let us all have one purse. 287 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,400 My son walked not thou in the way of with them. 288 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,600 Refrain your foot from their path. 289 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:56,000 In other words, when they're going in, In Direction, you go 290 00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:00,500 in the opposite direction. Here's another one. 291 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:05,099 Those that are liars and those that are not trustworthy, 292 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,900 Proverbs 25 and 18. It says a man that bear false 293 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:12,599 witness against his neighbor is a mall and a sword and a sharp 294 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,599 arrow confidence. In an Unfaithful man in time of 295 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:19,800 trouble is like a broken tooth and a foot out of joint. 296 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,300 All right, let's talk about some kind of friends that we do want 297 00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,800 though. Here's some We do want as 298 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:29,200 friends number one, those that display wisdom themselves. 299 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,200 Proverbs 13. And 20 says, he that walketh 300 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,500 with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be 301 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:41,300 destroyed now, why is that? Because they're good teaching, 302 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,600 and they're good advice. They're good counsel. 303 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:50,900 Now Proverbs 13 and 14 says the law of the wise is a Fountain of 304 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,000 Life to depart from the snares of death. 305 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,500 So we want to have the kind of friends that display wisdom. 306 00:17:56,500 --> 00:18:00,700 Those that are good counsel and good teaching, and good advice 307 00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:04,300 the flipside, the contrast, the wrong friends. 308 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:11,100 We don't want First Corinthians 15:33, be not deceived evil, 309 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:15,400 Communications corrupt, good morals. 310 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,800 The ones that we want to hang onto. 311 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:21,700 We want to hang onto. Good wise, friends. 312 00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,400 Now, I'm going to tell you sometimes, we're going to have 313 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,600 Friendships and we're going to have problems. 314 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,200 Here's some things to avoid that disrupt. 315 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,400 Good friendship, things to avoid. 316 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,500 Number one, don't repeat everything that you hear. you 317 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,200 know, if somebody actually wrote a book of the ten easy ways to 318 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:47,100 lose a friend overnight, this would be on it. 319 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,900 Don't repeat what you hear. Sometimes people get so Under 320 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:54,400 Pressure. If somebody tells them 321 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,100 something, they just got to share, they got to get rid of 322 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,400 it. They got to tell somebody else. 323 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:02,000 If you want to maintain a good friendship, a good relationship, 324 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:07,200 don't repeat the things that you hear Proverbs 17 and 9 says he, 325 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,500 that covereth, the transgression seeketh love but he that 326 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:14,200 repeated the matter separated very Francs. 327 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:20,100 Somebody confides in us to help, they're asking for our help, 328 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,800 don't tell any other people about it. 329 00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:27,400 Keep that to yourself. What else avoid senseless 330 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,100 arguments? I got to tell you, I've been 331 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:33,400 married, 26 years. And right before I got married, 332 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,600 there was an old Jewish man. Oh, I love this guy, his name is 333 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,300 Sai Rhine and so I sat me down. He was married, I don't know 175 334 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:44,500 years and he sat me down. He had all this wisdom about 335 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,400 marriage and I really appreciate it because we're sitting there 336 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,200 and he said, you know what, Frankie, I got to tell you 337 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,600 something. I was Frankie to everybody. 338 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,000 Then Frankie I gotta tell you something. 339 00:19:54,500 --> 00:20:00,100 If you want the secret to being married like me, 185 years, if 340 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:03,700 that's what you want. Tell you a little bit of advice. 341 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:10,500 Avoid senseless arguments. And then he put it like this. 342 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,300 He said, you and Tina you will shoulder the load together of 343 00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:18,700 the big stuff. You will climb the mountains 344 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,600 that are the big stuff in your relationship. 345 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,900 You'll do that without a problem, you'll have hard times, 346 00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,900 but you'll hand in hand, you'll handle that and that won't hurt 347 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,800 your relationship at all. It'll strengthen your 348 00:20:28,808 --> 00:20:31,100 relationship. You know what he said though? 349 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,800 You better avoid the pebble in the shoe, he said the pebble in 350 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:42,000 the shoe is the problem. The senseless argument, how many 351 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,600 times have we have something grown into something that was 352 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,700 huge but it just started off as a little Pebble. 353 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:55,300 Here's another one, don't meddle in other people's Affairs, I got 354 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:57,700 to tell you years ago, I got some really good advice when I 355 00:20:57,708 --> 00:21:00,500 was going to go out and preach, I was going to hold gospel 356 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:05,700 meetings and I got some really good advice, and the advice was 357 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:07,900 don't meddle in other people's affairs. 358 00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:13,300 Go preach your sermons, be there to help but don't get involved. 359 00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:16,700 When it's not yours to be involved with and it's not yours 360 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,100 to get involved with, don't do that. 361 00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:22,500 Now, there's a difference between somebody asking a 362 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:26,100 preacher to help set in order, the things that are wanting, or 363 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:29,500 lacking, or help with the matter big difference than somebody 364 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:33,900 that just but sin and and gets involved in things that are not 365 00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:37,500 his business, don't meddle in Affairs, not your own proverbs. 366 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,500 Six and 17 watch this. He that passeth by and medalist 367 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:46,000 with Strife belonging it's not to him is like one that takes a 368 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:50,400 dog by the ears picture that go up to a great big mean, dog and 369 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,800 just get you hoped just grab the mean, dog by the ears. 370 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:58,600 That's what it's like when you meddle in Affairs that are not 371 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,400 your own. Here's another one. 372 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:07,200 Don't be a talebearer in Proverbs chapter 26 and verse 373 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:13,800 20, where no, wood is there, the fire go without So where there 374 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,900 is no talebearer, The Strife ceaseth, you know, following 375 00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:21,400 such advice one is less likely to offend his or her friends, 376 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,500 but sometimes we do and sometimes regaining their 377 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:28,700 confidence is not easy. In fact, in Proverbs 18 and 19. 378 00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:33,500 It says a brother offended is harder to be one than a strong 379 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:38,000 City, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle, so 380 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,200 what can be done? What can be done, how can we 381 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,000 solve problems with relationships that have grown 382 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,300 cold? Well, first of all, we need to 383 00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:52,600 make sure that we are at peace with the Lord. 384 00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:56,500 We need to make sure that our life is as it ought to be 385 00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:59,800 Proverbs 16. And 17 says, when a man's ways 386 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:03,800 please the Lord he make it even his enemies to be at peace with 387 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,600 him. Now, in Matthew chapter 7, for 388 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,200 example, in Matthew chapter 7, it's one of the most 389 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,800 misunderstood Understood and misapplied Concepts in all the 390 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,000 teachings of Jesus. You know what people say don't 391 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:22,700 judge People say that all the time Jesus said, don't judge. 392 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,300 Yeah, that's not what Jesus said. 393 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:29,900 That's not what he said. And he didn't say this either. 394 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,200 Everybody's got their own problems. 395 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,500 You keep your beams. I'll have my spec and we'll all 396 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:39,200 just have our own stuff then. Say that either, he said clean 397 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,900 up your backyard. First, he said, first remove the 398 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:45,900 plank or the beam that is in your eye so that you can do what 399 00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:49,800 so that you can see clearly to help your neighbor your brother. 400 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,800 Get the speck out of his, I help each other but I have to 401 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,700 understand this. I have to make sure that my life 402 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:01,100 is as it ought to be if I'm going to go talk to somebody 403 00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,800 else, you know, they're going to say hey what about your backyard 404 00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:07,300 clean up your stuff? Frank, here's another one. 405 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,700 Be slow to anger, Proverbs 15 and 18. 406 00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:15,600 Don't fly off the handle. A wrathful man stirreth up 407 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:22,000 Strife, but he, that is slow to anger apisa, 'The Strife also in 408 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,800 James 1, 19 and 20 wherefore my beloved Brethren. 409 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,200 Let every man be swift to hear slow to speak, slow to wrath for 410 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,300 the wrath of man. Worketh, not the righteousness 411 00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:32,600 of God. I got to tell you. 412 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:37,200 I don't know how it is with you. But there are certain things 413 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,800 with me that are Shortcomings. And I know you have shortcomings 414 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,500 to and the shortcomings, you have may not be the same as I 415 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:47,200 have. The next one I'm going to talk 416 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,900 about. It was my short coming. 417 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:53,100 Here it is. I need to be a slow responder, 418 00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,500 but that's not me. I'm better. 419 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,800 I'm a lot better now than I ever have been. 420 00:24:57,900 --> 00:25:00,900 But I've always been one of those quick responders. 421 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:06,400 In other words, you just say it. And how many times do you 422 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,000 respond quickly? And then you regret what you 423 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,800 said? And if only, you'd kept your 424 00:25:11,808 --> 00:25:14,600 mouth shut and thought about it for a minute, maybe you wouldn't 425 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:21,400 have said it Proverbs 18 and 13. He that answereth a matter 426 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:26,600 before he heareth it it is folly and shame to him. 427 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:32,200 Here's another one folks speak gently. 428 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,900 How you say it is? Everything Proverbs 15 and one 429 00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:40,100 says, a soft answer turneth away wrath, but Grievous word. 430 00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:41,800 Stir up anger. I got to share something with 431 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,200 you. How you say it is everything 432 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,300 years ago. I used to weigh 50 pounds more 433 00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:50,700 than I do now. And I went to the doctor and I 434 00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,100 went in there and I had a physical, and they took all the 435 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:57,000 blood and my numbers were all out of whack and all that, and 436 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,600 the doctor brought me in. And very kindly said, now, Frank 437 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,000 what we have to do is we you need to lose some weight because 438 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,800 your numbers aren't right and all this and that I took it what 439 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,700 he said. And I said, okay, and okay. 440 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:10,400 Doc and over the next couple of years, I lost the weight. 441 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:13,100 You know what happened? I'm so glad he said it like that 442 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,700 because you know what happened? When I went back, I walked in 443 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,100 there and I'm just so proud of myself. 444 00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:20,300 I lost the 50 pounds. I'm I'm just ecstatic, right? 445 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:21,500 I'm going to get Pat's on the back. 446 00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:22,700 He's going to really cheer me on. 447 00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:23,900 What? Watch What Happens. 448 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:26,000 I went in there. I weighed. 449 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,200 I was so happy. Couldn't wait for him to walk in 450 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,200 the room. You only said. 451 00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:33,900 I'm so glad you lost the weight because man, you were really 452 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:39,800 fat. I'm glad he said it differently 453 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:45,400 before. How you say it is everything. 454 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,600 For example, what would you rather here man? 455 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,000 Said, one time. Would you rather hear? 456 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:52,300 How would you rather hear this phrase? 457 00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:56,000 Just would you rather have your spouse say to you? 458 00:26:57,100 --> 00:27:01,100 Honey, when I look at you time, just stand still. 459 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:05,900 Would you rather hear it like that or man? 460 00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:07,800 You gotta face second, stop a clock. 461 00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:16,200 You're kind of saying the same thing but how you say it is 462 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:20,300 everything. Speak gently. 463 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,300 And I'll tell you something else to folks. 464 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,300 There's more than one way to remove a fly from somebody's 465 00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:29,500 forehead. You don't need a hammer. 466 00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:35,000 You don't need a hammer. Speak gently. 467 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,900 Another one. Be quick to show love. 468 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,800 Proverbs 10 12 says hatred stirs up Stripes, but love covereth. 469 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:51,200 All since I'll tell you something, folks, when we're 470 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,500 working to re-establish, relationships, that have grown 471 00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:56,700 cold and calloused over the years because of hard feelings, 472 00:27:57,900 --> 00:28:01,100 These are principles just a short little sermon that God has 473 00:28:01,100 --> 00:28:05,300 given us in his word if that's the case, let's be proactive and 474 00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:08,200 tearing down walls and let's start building bridges into the 475 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,100 lives of others that would perhaps we had relationships 476 00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:14,500 with that. Have grown cold Do you realize 477 00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:15,900 that when you're talking about Christians? 478 00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:18,600 We are talking about spending eternity together. 479 00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:23,800 I don't understand sometimes when relationships grow cold, 480 00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:27,800 and now there's hard feelings, I've seen places where people in 481 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,800 the very same congregation won't even look at them, won't even 482 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,400 look at the other person. We're trying to work to get to 483 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:38,500 heaven to be together in heaven and we can't get along for a 484 00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:42,900 little while in this life. Let's be proactive with all of 485 00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:46,000 those relationships and let's Tear Down the Walls and start 486 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,500 building bridges in the lives of others. 487 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:55,500 With the right heart. You know, one man said, you 488 00:28:55,508 --> 00:28:59,000 don't have to depend on the trial and error method to Win 489 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,800 Friends and Influence People. He just don't The word of God is 490 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,800 very clear. If we have some relationship 491 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,500 issues. Let's make sure we're peace with 492 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,600 the Lord before we go and try to deal with that. 493 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,900 Let's be slow to anger slow to respond. 494 00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:15,200 Always speak gently gently. And let's be quick to show, 495 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,100 love. But finally and enclosing 496 00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:20,700 practical conclusion, I like practical stuff. 497 00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:24,800 I love practical stuff. By the way, what I'm about to 498 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:29,200 tell you, I got from my dad, the guy that ended up becoming a 499 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,300 brilliant wise man after I grew up. 500 00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:35,400 Okay. Watch this. 501 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,500 If somebody wrongs you, let it go. 502 00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:47,900 Let it go. In First Corinthians chapter 6 503 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,300 we talked about that as going to the law against a brother and we 504 00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:54,700 do and that's right but the theme there is just be 505 00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,800 defrauded. What's the big deal? 506 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,500 If somebody wrongs you get over it, Let It Go. 507 00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:06,800 If you wrong, somebody else make it right? 508 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:12,400 Fix it. When we do a good deed for 509 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,400 somebody else, don't keep score forget it. 510 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,300 And finally, if somebody does something good for you, remember 511 00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:24,100 it always, I'll tell you something. 512 00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:27,300 It might be hard here and there you plug that in you're going to 513 00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:29,200 get along with people. You sure are. 514 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,000 And it's going to help you get over stuff too. 515 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:36,200 I've heard people say, well, we don't want to let so-and-so off 516 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,600 the hook, they've offended me and I'm not going to let him off 517 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:43,800 the hook. You know, Joseph was sold by his 518 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:48,500 brothers into slavery. He had a terrible period of time 519 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,000 in his life and all the circumstances negatively that 520 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,800 happened as a result of all that. 521 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:58,400 But the Bible says that he named his first son, Manasseh, which 522 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:02,400 means God has made me to forget. All the trouble of my father's 523 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,400 house. Joseph was letting himself off 524 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,700 the hook. It wasn't a matter. 525 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:10,100 I'm not gonna let my brother's off book. 526 00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:13,400 He let himself off the hook, what he meant by that is, I'm 527 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,500 not going to be evilly influenced. 528 00:31:15,700 --> 00:31:20,300 Anymore or negatively influenced anymore by what was done to me. 529 00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:26,800 Just let it go. Get over it. 530 00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:29,000 You're wrong others. Let's remember it and make it 531 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,700 right. Do something good for someone 532 00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:33,500 don't keep score but if somebody does something good for you, 533 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:37,300 remember it always it will help practically in every 534 00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:39,200 relationship you have in life.