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Marriage, as defined. 
Is that great agreement by which

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a man and a woman have become 
husband and wife. 

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It is the state of or 
relationship between a man and a

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woman who have become husband 
and wife Marriage is a 

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relationship that originated 
with God? 

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It was not something in that, 
great bond in that. 

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Great Union that man had come up
with, but it was something that 

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was appointed or ordained by the
god of heaven. 

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And contrary to what the world 
and all the world's philosophies

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would tell us it was always 
intended to be one man with one 

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woman and that that Bond would 
be in this life. 

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And for life, Yeah, but very 
sadly. 

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I am told that one out of every 
three marriages today, end in 

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divorce. 
Think about although those many 

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others though that never make it
to the divorce courts and yet 

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they live their life in their 
marriage relationship, 

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completely unhappy. 
And when we look at that, we can

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see that these are the marriages
that God did not want the 

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marriage relationship is, the 
closest of all human 

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relationships as we read for 
Hearing a moment ago in the Book

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of Genesis, the second chapter 
and in verse number 24, where it

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says, therefore shall a man, 
leave his father and his mother 

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and shall cleave unto his wife 
and they shall be one flesh in 

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this marriage relationship. 
God intended for it to be happy,

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but the problem is far too. 
Many people fail to follow God's

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plan and his principles that are
set forth in his word. 

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And because of that, That they 
coexist together in nothing but 

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a chaotic mess very sadly. 
Today. 

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Homes are destroyed because 
Jesus is not there, the fastest 

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terior ation of the home has 
been recognized by both 

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religious and non-religious 
people as well. 

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But, you know, the very most 
beautiful picture and all the 

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world to me is the mother 
working happily in her home with

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her children nearby and teaching
them. 

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God's word. 
But the saddest picture of our 

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day though is what very sadly is
prominent all around us and 

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that's the crumbling of the 
homes Foundation as it goes. 

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Back and dates back. 
And traces back, very sadly to 

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the marriage that it began with 
instead of entering into the 

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marriage relationship. 
Using the Bible as a guide, many

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will enter the marriage on a 
trial and error basis. 

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After all, we'll go and we'll 
extend all manner of promises to

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the other one, we will stand 
there and give our vows. 

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We would tell in front in the 
presence of God and all that are

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there that we're going to be 
together forever and yet in the 

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back of our minds, we are 
thinking, but if it doesn't work

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out, we'll just get out of it 
and we'll start again with 

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another very sadly. 
That's what the world does 

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promises, are broken and homes 
are destroyed but I wish to 

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discuss with you for a little 
while. 

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This morning is the Bible 
pattern for a happy marriage and

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a Godly home. 
First of all, we understand. 

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And we all know this that men 
and women contrary to what the 

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world would tell us men and 
women are not equal. 

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But very interesting though, 
when we look in God's word we 

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find that there is nothing that 
says that men and women are to 

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do, the same thing are to have 
the same role. 

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In fact, we find that there are 
two stations or two spheres of 

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activity, we find in God's word.
There is the station of 

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headship, but also, when there 
is the station of headship, 

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there must of necessity be the 
station of subjects objection. 

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Or those two people could not 
exist together in unity. 

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And so what God has instructed 
or God has appointed? 

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Is that men and women have 
different roles but nowhere in 

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In God's word doesn't say. 
Because man has been given the 

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the idea or the subject of 
headship or the authoritative 

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role in the home nowhere. 
Does it say that a man is more 

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important than a woman also 
know, where does it say in God's

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word? 
That man is better than a woman 

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and listen, Because his role is 
different. 

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It doesn't mean that he is more 
important than she is. 

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You know, I think sometimes we 
forget that the woman has a 

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role. 
That is so necessary. 

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It is so needed. 
And without the woman, 

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fulfilling her role to its 
completeness the home and the 

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structure of the home cannot 
exist as God would have it to be

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But notice the Apostle Paul in 
Ephesians chapter 5 beginning in

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verse number 22, where the 
Apostle Paul says that the man 

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is to be the head. 
Paul said, wives submit 

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yourselves to your own husband's
as unto the Lord for the husband

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is the head of the wife even as 
Christ is the head of the church

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and he is the savior of the body
therefore as the church is 

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subject unto Christ. 
So let the wives be to their own

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husband's. 
Ends in everything, you know, 

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it's very interesting. 
Here, the Apostle Paul by divine

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inspiration of the. 
Holy spirit is saying that the 

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woman is to be in subjection to 
her husband in the home. 

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Now, understand this, it doesn't
say men and women, it says, 

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husbands and wives. 
My wife is to be in subjection 

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to me as her husband, as the 
Apostle Paul clearly stated. 

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But, you know, I don't think. 
Think written in God's word is 

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in there to take up space. 
I don't think there are any 

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coincidences in God's word. 
Did you ever stop to consider? 

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Because that's what most of us 
do what we want to do as men we 

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want to read? 
How were the authoritative role?

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We want to read verses of 
scripture to our wives and 

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indicate to them that they are 
to be in subjection to us. 

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But we failed to read the very 
next sentence at the great 

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Apostle Paul stated in the book 
of Ephesians in that text. 

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I do I think this is a 
coincidence because right after 

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Paul said that the woman is to 
be in subjection to the man. 

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Then Paul said, husbands love 
your wives how. 

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So Paul said, as Christ also 
loved the church and gave 

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himself for it. 
The question today, isn't 

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whether man is to be the head, 
the question is, how is he to 

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lead? 
How is the man going to perform 

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his authoritative 
responsibilities in the home? 

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Will Paul said it like this. 
Paul said that the husband is 

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going to lead his family. 
He's going to lead his wife. 

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He's going to be the authority 
in that home, as Jesus Christ is

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the church now. 
I'll tell you something. 

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If you look at what Jesus has 
done, for the church that we 

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must also understand that you 
and I as Husbands are failing 

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miserably because when we look 
and understand how it was that 

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Jesus Christ leads today and how
he is our leader. 

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And we are his bride as the 
church. 

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When we understand how much he 
loved the church, which is his 

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bride. 
Then, we must also understand it

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is not as a tyrant know, he is 
leading as he has lived. 

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It is an authority of 
performance. 

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It is one of the example, And it
is one of sacrifice ever stop to

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consider all that Jesus did for 
the church. 

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Jesus is the head because of 
what he has done for her and 

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continues to do as our great 
high priest making intercession.

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For all those that are members 
of the body of Christ, the 

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church is not in subjection to 
Jesus because of chastisement, 

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but because of what he has done 
and continues to do for it. 

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The headship of Jesus Christ is 
a headship of selfishness is not

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one of self. 
Witness because nothing that 

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Jesus Christ did for the church 
was for his own benefit. 

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And when husbands consider their
wives, like Jesus Christ, 

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considered the church, I'm going
to tell you something, I don't 

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know. 
I have never met a woman. 

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And I mean, any woman in the 
world in my entire life that if 

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you would sit down and talk 
about the concepts of authority 

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and subjection, if you would go 
and map out how it is that, the 

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husband is going to lead his 
family like Jesus. 

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Christ leads the church. 
I don't know. 

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One woman that I have ever met 
in my entire life. 

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It's going to have a problem 
being in subjection to that kind

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of leadership. 
Who in the world would not want 

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that? 
To have leadership and headship.

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That is that of sacrifice is 
that of performance. 

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And that of example, you know, 
very sadly today folks, and I 

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speak to the man. 
You know, I understand that the 

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woman has a job to do and being 
in subjection. 

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We're going to get to that, too,
because we're going to talk to 

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them, just a moment. 
But I'll tell you something, 

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there are too many wives today 
and families today, and children

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today. 
They that are not what they 

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ought to be because you and I as
men are not what we ought to be.

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Even it begins with us. 
We need to understand that the 

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authoritative role in leading. 
Our families begins with the 

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man. 
We need to rise up as men in our

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households and Lead our 
families. 

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And we need to do so with 
performance with sacrifice and 

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by the example of Our Lives. 
That's how we need to lead, and 

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you just watch and see. 
You just watch and see your wife

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and your children following you?
What a wonderful existence it 

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becomes but it begins with you. 
Secondly, though. 

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Paul said he is to love his 
wife. 

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How so the Apostle Paul said in 
Ephesians, 5:28 29, so ought men

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to love their wives as their own
bodies, he that loveth, his 

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wife, loveth himself for no man,
ever yet hated his own flesh, 

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but nourishes. 
But nourisheth it and cherishes 

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it even as the Lord, the church.
And so he is to love his wife as

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he loves his own body and must 
treat her just like that. 

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Someone said one time. 
If you want your wife to be an 

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angel, tell her that she is. 
If you wanted to be good-looking

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tell her she is good looking you
see she will show the outward 

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likeness of her inner image. 
He said if you don't believe me,

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just tell her that she's ugly 
and see that she doesn't live up

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to it. 
That's what we do. 

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That's really what we do. 
We at we actually, with the way 

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that we are. 
We manifest what we feel inside,

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if we feel rotten inside, 
Chances are, we're going to be 

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rotting on the outside, but if 
we are those that feel good 

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inside and we feel loved inside,
if we feel like, we are being 

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led, as we should be led because
of someone that loves you that 

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much, in your home, you wait and
see how lovely you become when 

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you manifest that example. 
Sometimes, though, before we get

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married fellas, you remember 
this? 

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The people that we are trying to
marry or were trying to win the 

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heart of man were performing 
before the marriage. 

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We're performing. 
Everyday is a performance. 

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We're putting our very best for 
us foot forward. 

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You know why we want to win her 
love, we want to win her 

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affection. 
We want her to choose us to 

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spend the rest of their lives 
with That very sadly though. 

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We get married and they get the 
rest of us, they get really what

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we really are because we were 
performing at one time. 

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But now this is the reality. 
They get the rest often times. 

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A man compliments and Praises 
her before the marriage. 

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But after the wedding, he takes 
her for granted. 

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Anyone that's ever been married.
Understands this this is not 

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using wisdom, but just remember 
he is to love. 

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His wife. 
A story was once told of woman 

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on their wedding night that said
to her husband, she said let me 

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ask you something. 
I know that we've just walked 

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00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,900
down the aisle today, but I got 
to ask you. 

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Do you really love me? 
Do you really love me deep down 

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inside your heart? 
He said, yeah, I love you. 

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But if I ever changed my mind, 
you'll be the first to know. 

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You know what the problem with 
that is love, does not have a 

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timetable love, is something 
that we do and feel all the days

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that we live. 
We're going to notice in just a 

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moment. 
By the way, how it's just not 

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just how you feel emotionally. 
At the moment, we're going to 

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get to that very interesting but
notice this, sometimes we need 

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to understand though that the 
way we treat one, another is a 

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byproduct. 
Product or an extension of how 

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00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,300
we truly feel for them more on 
that. 

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00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,400
Also in just a moment, let's 
just do this. 

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Let me just say this before we 
move on let's not be like the 

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fella that disregarded, his 
wife, desire to have flowers, 

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all of their married life and 
then all of a sudden hey as long

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as you do it one time it's 
better late than never. 

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Let's not be like that fella. 
Where the flowers came at the 

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00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,600
funeral. 
Let's be those that live our 

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00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,800
lives and direct our families in
such a way, that when we're all 

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00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:47,800
through, we can say, I'm glad 
that I did rather than I wish I 

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had. 
But next also, let's talk about 

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some principles for the wife. 
The Apostle Paul writing to 

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00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:59,800
Titus and Titus Chapter 2 and 
verses 3 through 5, he tells us 

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that she is to love her husband.
Notice what Paul said, he said 

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the aged women, likewise, that 
they be in Behavior as becometh 

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Holiness notice, what the older 
women and listen, I say this 

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with all the respect in the 
world about our older women. 

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I'm not saying this in any 
negative way. 

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I'm saying this in a positive 
way. 

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When I talk about the agent 
women, I'm not talking about the

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fact that they no longer have a 
duty a responsibility. 

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Oh no. 
To the contrary. 

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I'm saying that. 
They do have a responsibility. 

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And listen, we need you. 
The Lord's church needs. 

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You But you know, this kind of 
goes by the wayside. 

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This doesn't happen much 
instruction from the older women

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to the younger women sometimes 
goes without being done and but 

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there is a tremendous need Paul 
says not false teachers, not 

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given to much wine. 
That's the example, they become 

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teachers of good things that 
they might teach the young women

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to be sober to love their 
husbands to love their children.

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00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:17,300
Children to be discreet. 
Chaste keepers at home, good 

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obedient to their own husband's.
That the word of God be not 

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blasphemed. 
You know. 

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Husbands need to hear things 
too, you know, that might just 

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get me kicked straight out of 
the guys Club forever. 

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But that's alright. 
I'm going to tell you something.

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We might act like it's not true 
but we need to hear it too. 

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00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,500
We need to hear how you feel 
about us. 

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There's no way that we can be 
the men that we need to be 

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without the proper women in our 
life. 

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There's no way. 
You know, there's an old saying 

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in the common vernacular that 
behind every good man is a good 

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00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:03,400
woman. 
That's not just words. 

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00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,599
That's a fact. 
And I'm going to tell you 

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something. 
Women, if you want your 

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00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:10,599
husband's to be more than they 
are, you get behind them, you 

259
00:17:10,599 --> 00:17:14,599
support them, you tell them, you
build them up, you strengthen 

260
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,200
them, Because I'm going to tell 
you something, a man is only 

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00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,300
half as good as he will ever 
become. 

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If you are not in his Corner 
husband's though, be the men you

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need to be so that she feels 
that you deserve such 

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00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:33,000
encouragement. 
You know a woman one time went 

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to a marriage counselor and he 
said what's the problem in your 

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00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,600
marriage? 
She said, I tell you what the 

267
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,800
problem is. 
I can't seem to get it across to

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my husband that I love. 
Of him. 

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00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:50,900
In fact, regardless of all that 
I do he doesn't believe or feel 

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00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:55,500
that I love him. 
In fact, in fact, all of our 

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00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,900
arguments stem from that very 
fact from that. 

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Very thing. 
She said, why do you see? 

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00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,300
He said, why do you suppose that
is And she says, oh, I don't 

274
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:09,200
know. 
I I guess he's just a moron. 

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00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,300
And then he said, well what does
she say? 

276
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,600
What does he say? 
When you tell him that you love 

277
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,700
him? 
Oh, I could never tell him that 

278
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,100
five or told him something like 
that. 

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He'd probably just drop dead. 
Sometimes we need to look at the

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00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,400
way that we treat one another in
that capacity very quickly, the 

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00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,500
Apostle Paul dealt with the 
characteristics of love and 

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00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,700
First Corinthians, the 13th 
chapter. 

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00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,900
Now here's my point. 
If these are characteristics 

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00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:42,500
that work for Brothers and 
Sisters in Christ together, it 

285
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:46,000
surely works for the greatest 
Union and the greatest 

286
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,700
relationship that you will ever 
have in your life. 

287
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:53,300
And that is the marriage 
relationship. 

288
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:57,300
Oh, Or this great Union. 
So notice the characteristics of

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00:18:57,300 --> 00:19:00,700
Love at the great Apostle. 
Paul said in First Corinthians 

290
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:05,400
chapter 13, He says. 
First of all that love is 

291
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:11,000
long-suffering, long-suffering 
is patient long tempered and 

292
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,300
here's a good one. 
Self-restraint might want to 

293
00:19:15,308 --> 00:19:16,800
keep that one. 
You'll need that one 

294
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:21,500
self-restraint. 
That's what it means to have the

295
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,300
love. 
The Bible describes. 

296
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,000
It's not just a moon, June tuned
spoon type of feeling. 

297
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:30,200
Oh no. 
There's some effort that goes in

298
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,500
and some practice that goes in 
to demonstrating. 

299
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:38,700
The kind of love of the Bible. 
You need to have self restraint,

300
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:43,200
you need to be patient. 
Secondly, pause said that love 

301
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:49,200
is kind kind means good gracious
and pleasant. 

302
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:54,500
Thirdly, love is not envious. 
You know this comes from the 

303
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:58,600
word that means jealousy and you
know this is for the this to go 

304
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,300
for the man or the woman either 
one but jealousy is a horrible 

305
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,800
thing. 
Jealousy is something that will 

306
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:11,000
destroy relationships, but love 
proper love and true. 

307
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Love is not envious of these 
things. 

308
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,900
Many times wives and husbands as
well are filled with jealousy 

309
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:23,100
which is simply a lack of faith 
in their spouse and it eats the 

310
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:30,400
Very heart out of a marriage 
fourthly love does not vaunt 

311
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,100
itself. 
The King James version says that

312
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:36,000
just means it's not a boaster or
a braggart. 

313
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,400
It's not puffed up, it's not 
conceded. 

314
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:43,800
Number 5, Paul says, it does not
behave itself. 

315
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:47,000
Unseemly, you know by 
definition. 

316
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:51,500
You know what this means you 
don't pout and you don't fly off

317
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:57,400
the handle and you Not guilty of
unseemly conduct. 

318
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,900
If you truly have the love of 
the Bible, then that's how 

319
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:04,200
you're going to demonstrate it. 
You're not going to pout, you're

320
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:09,000
not going to fly off the handle,
but number 6, notice this, it is

321
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:14,700
not selfish, it is not easily 
provoked and does not keep 

322
00:21:14,700 --> 00:21:20,100
records of evil. 
We've all done that though. 

323
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:25,500
Remember what you did that time?
Or somebody is Forgiven us 

324
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,500
something? 
Yeah, okay, I'm sorry. 

325
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,500
I forgive you. 
It's all done. 

326
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,700
But then as time goes on, see 
how yah remember that time and 

327
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:36,300
you bring it up again, but the 
proper love of the Bible. 

328
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:40,500
Though does not keep track or 
keep records of evil. 

329
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,600
You know, we've talked about 
this with regards to any 

330
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:48,200
relationship that you will ever 
be in if you keep track of 

331
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,600
events. 
Evil, if you keep track of or a 

332
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,900
record of it, there's no way 
that you're going to feel and 

333
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:57,300
demonstrate your feeling for 
that person as you should. 

334
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,400
It makes no difference. 
If you are Brothers and Sisters 

335
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,600
in Christ, if it is your child, 
if it is your spouse. 

336
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:07,600
If it is whoever in this world, 
if there is evil and it's been 

337
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:12,500
taken care of, leave it alone 
and cast it aside and don't ever

338
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:18,800
bring it up again. 
That's what love is remember 

339
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:24,300
what you did that time? 
One scholar said it's throwing 

340
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:29,100
the book at him or her think of 
what marriages would be of true.

341
00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:32,600
Love were demonstrated by both 
the husband and the wife as 

342
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,900
well. 
You've heard me say this though,

343
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,300
there's a tremendous 
misunderstanding about the 

344
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:41,500
concept of falling in love, you 
can talk to somebody that's 

345
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:44,600
maybe. 
Found someone in their life that

346
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,300
is not a Christian and they are 
establishing relationships with 

347
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,900
someone that's going in an 
opposite direction. 

348
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:54,900
Just as fast as they possibly 
can from the Lord's church but 

349
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,600
the relationship is growing 
stronger and stronger and 

350
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,100
feelings are being cultivated 
and so on and pretty soon. 

351
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:04,600
You have this Christian boy or 
this Christian girl who is quote

352
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:09,400
unquote in love with someone 
that is diametrically opposed to

353
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,100
the way you live your life and 
the way that you know, you ought

354
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:17,500
to live as a Christian only to 
hear him say, but we're in love.

355
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:22,200
Just fell in love. 
You might go to someone and say 

356
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,800
what happened to your 
relationship over time? 

357
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:31,300
What happened? 
Well, we just fell out of love. 

358
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,300
Let me tell you something. 
Love is not something. 

359
00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:36,000
That's got you by the back of 
your neck. 

360
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,100
Guiding you in ways that wants 
to take you. 

361
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,800
You don't just Cruise right 
along and just fall right on in 

362
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,100
there. 
And then pretty soon, one day 

363
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:46,000
you fall out, oh, no, love is a 
choice. 

364
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:53,900
And an exercise of the mind that
is what love is, you know, love 

365
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:57,100
is like happiness. 
I know that there are things in 

366
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:58,900
this world that are not 
pleasant. 

367
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:02,300
There are things that are going 
on in the lives of some of our 

368
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:07,000
people here, right now that are 
not pleasant, but I'm going to 

369
00:24:07,008 --> 00:24:10,100
tell you something, you can't 
change the outcome of those 

370
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:14,100
things, but you can change how 
you're going to feel about it. 

371
00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:18,100
That's what happiness is loves 
the same way. 

372
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,900
It's a choice. 
It's an exercise of the mind. 

373
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,400
You know. 
One person said, one time that 

374
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:30,800
love is sacrificial action. 
Love always pays the price. 

375
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:35,700
Love, always cost. 
Something love is very 

376
00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:40,200
expensive. 
When you love benefits accrue to

377
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,500
another's account. 
Love is for you and not me. 

378
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:49,400
And lastly love Gibbs. 
It doesn't grab. 

379
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:53,100
That's what love is you have to 
demonstrate that. 

380
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:57,300
You don't just sit back and wait
to feel loved a newspaper, man. 

381
00:24:57,300 --> 00:25:01,200
Once told a story about how a 
wife came to him, whose marriage

382
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:05,300
was in shambles and said, I'm 
not only want to get rid of him.

383
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:08,200
I not only want to divorce him, 
but I want to hurt him. 

384
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,300
I don't like him anymore and 
I'll tell you what I want to do.

385
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:14,500
I want to find a way that I can 
hurt him even more. 

386
00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:16,700
Or and then I want to divorce 
him. 

387
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,300
So, a friend says, I got it. 
Here's a greatest thing. 

388
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:26,800
You can do, spend the next two 
or three months and get a 

389
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,500
slippers for him. 
Every night, make his meals, 

390
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:35,700
tell him, you love him, make him
believe that you feel all of 

391
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:39,700
that and set him up. 
And when he least expected 

392
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:45,400
divorce him, that'll get him. 
Two months went by and this 

393
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,800
fella saw her and says, well, 
you ready for the divorce? 

394
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,300
She said, you know, I would 
never divorce that man. 

395
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:56,700
All the days of my life because 
I have learned and figured out I

396
00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:59,700
guess. 
I really do love him after all, 

397
00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:06,300
you see motion brought about 
emotion when you set it in with 

398
00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:09,900
willful Deeds for the other. 
And you put that into motion, 

399
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:14,700
you put that into practice, then
you're going to feel quite a bit

400
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,600
differently. 
We would think though the 

401
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,600
opposite we would think that I'm
going to feel good. 

402
00:26:18,700 --> 00:26:21,900
Good about someone else if 
they're doing things for me but 

403
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:25,500
not really try it sometime do 
something for another, and you 

404
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,700
will find the way that you feel 
about that person is going to 

405
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:31,100
change. 
If you do good things for that 

406
00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:34,100
person, you're going to feel 
different about that person. 

407
00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:37,600
Now, we're talking about the 
marriage relationship today, but

408
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,900
let's do it this way. 
It's everything. 

409
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,400
If my brother in Christ, or my 
sister in Christ, or someone in 

410
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,200
the world has wronged me or 
offended me. 

411
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:48,700
And I don't feel very good about
that if I go. 

412
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,600
Go out and do that. 
Which is good for that person. 

413
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,700
I'm going to change how I feel 
about them. 

414
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,600
It works. 
One man said the ability to love

415
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:05,200
is established. 
Not So Much by fervent promise, 

416
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:10,500
but by repeated Deeds, let me 
just say this, especially to 

417
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:14,000
young people. 
A marriage that is based upon 

418
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,400
physical beauty alone will not 
last. 

419
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:22,000
When the wrinkles come, when the
teeth fall out, it will not if 

420
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,900
we choose someone because they 
are quote, unquote, beautiful, 

421
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:29,100
if we choose someone that is the
fair-haired boy. 

422
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,500
Boy, if we choose someone, 
because he's the campus football

423
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:34,600
star, I'm going to tell you 
something. 

424
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,600
That marriage is not going to 
last when the problems Mount and

425
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,600
his chest Falls absolutely not. 
You can get someone that's the 

426
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:46,000
absolute most beautiful girl in 
all the school, but when she 

427
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,800
becomes the drug to the kitchen 
sink, I'm going to tell you 

428
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,600
something that kind of a 
marriage that kind of a 

429
00:27:51,608 --> 00:27:56,100
relationship is not going to 
last. 

430
00:27:57,100 --> 00:28:02,400
It's going to take an exercise 
of the Mind in order to do. 

431
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:06,500
So, this exercise of the mind 
will not permit a husband or a 

432
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:09,600
wife to see gratification 
outside of their bond. 

433
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:12,900
It will not permit divorce. 
Since each partner knows how do 

434
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:17,300
they know mental process, the 
will of God and seeks the very 

435
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:21,100
best good for his or her mate. 
When ill be set your marriage 

436
00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:24,300
partner, you will not seek a 
divorce but you will care for 

437
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:26,800
one another through thick and 
thin. 

438
00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:31,800
That's what you will do because 
it's an exercise of the mind and

439
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:37,000
you chose to do that one time 
you a long time ago, and you 

440
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,000
cultivate that by daily 
decisions and daily Deeds for 

441
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,800
the rest of your lives together.
very quickly, I know you've all 

442
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:49,500
heard this, but There's 
different ways to show love and 

443
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:54,700
affection to your spouse. 
You know, about 15 years ago, it

444
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:56,600
would have been great. 
If somebody would have sat down 

445
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,600
with me and told me all the 
rules, Would have been great. 

446
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,900
If somebody would have told me 
some things that I know, now 

447
00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:06,900
that I didn't know then but you 
know, as we know and as you know

448
00:29:06,900 --> 00:29:10,400
it's a very common thing. 
Commonly known thing that we all

449
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:16,000
have various Love Languages and 
we need to love each other in 

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our own love language. 
Tina and I are completely 

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00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,500
different if I try to love Tina 
and my love language, it might 

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00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:27,300
be all great and nice and all. 
But I am not fulfilling what she

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needs in that capacity because 
it's not in her language. 

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00:29:31,100 --> 00:29:33,800
Love languages are these and 
there are five. 

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00:29:33,900 --> 00:29:38,100
There are words of affirmation 
there's quality time receiving 

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00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:41,600
gifts acts of service and 
physical Touch. 

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00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:46,200
This is how people need to have 
love expressed to them. 

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00:29:46,300 --> 00:29:49,800
I'll tell you something, mine 
happens to be my primary one 

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00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,800
happens to be words of 
affirmation. 

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00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:57,100
Not tell you something. 
When I get it, when I get words 

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00:29:57,100 --> 00:30:00,800
of affirmation. 
I feel like I could do anything.

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00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,200
I'm not kidding. 
Like I can do absolutely 

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00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:10,900
anything, but when I don't get 
it, I'm as empty as I can be. 

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00:30:12,100 --> 00:30:14,500
You know, I used to think I'm 
pretty good. 

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00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:16,600
I'm I'm a pretty good catch for 
old Tina. 

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00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,400
I used to think that, you know 
why? 

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00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,000
Because I was giving her words 
of affirmation all the time, 

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00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,500
physical touch, I wanted to hold
her hand. 

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00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:29,600
Put my arm around her, I might 
as well have been speaking 

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00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:33,400
Chinese because that's not her 
language. 

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00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:37,000
Hers happened to be that I found
out later on hers happened. 

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00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,800
To be quality time and acts of 
service. 

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00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
You know what I did though? 
When I found out about this 

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00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,900
quality time thing I said, well,
I'm right here. 

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00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,600
I'm four feet from you. 
I'm here, we were watching a 

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00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,300
football game on TV. 
I thought that was it quality 

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00:30:53,300 --> 00:30:54,700
time. 
We're spending time together. 

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00:30:54,700 --> 00:30:59,400
I'm right there. 
No quality time is when they 

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00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,800
have your undivided attention 
and acts of service is doing 

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00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:08,100
something for them that they 
don't have to do now and you 

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00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:11,300
thought enough about them that 
you were willing to do it for 

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00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:15,300
them. 
That is how certain people feel 

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00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:19,300
The Greatest Love of All. 
You know, we've gone through 

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00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:23,300
program with some of you about 
this and it's wonderful to see 

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00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:25,800
how people say it's changed 
their marriage, it's change the 

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00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,000
way they look at things, and 
I'll tell you something, anytime

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00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,800
that you get things out of 
sorts, step back and go back to 

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00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:37,800
those basic things and start 
giving, and then you will get. 

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00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:42,000
But thirdly though the woman is 
to do something that I know. 

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00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:46,600
No, that is is against the grain
of the teaching in the world, 

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00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,700
but Paul said there's something 
else Paul said that she is to 

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00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:55,500
honor her husband. 
In Ephesians 5 and 33. 

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00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:58,800
Paul said, nevertheless let 
every one of you in particular, 

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00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:03,800
so love his wife, even as 
himself and the wife see that 

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00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:08,100
she reverence, her husband 
noticed, Sarah, honored, 

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00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:12,700
Abraham, by the way that she 
spoke to him and spoke about him

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00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:16,400
and first Peter 3 and verse 6. 
The Bible says, even as Sara 

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00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:21,000
obeyed, Abraham calling him 
Lord, whose daughters you are as

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00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,400
long as you do well, and are not
afraid. 

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00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:26,900
It with any amazement. 
When a wife cuts down her 

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00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:30,700
husband, she is not showing 
honor to him. 

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00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:34,500
She also honors him though. 
Listen, by the way, that she 

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00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:38,400
behaves in the presence of 
others. 

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00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:44,000
You know, you can be a wife and 
never say one bad word about 

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00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,300
your husband. 
You could speak to him with all 

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00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:50,200
of what seems to be the 
reverence in the world. 

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00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,200
And you can feel as though you 
are honoring him and every 

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00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,200
single way. 
But if you behave yourself 

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00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:01,100
unseemly, if you behave yourself
in the presence of others, that 

510
00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:04,300
others can see, the way that you
behave and it's not what it 

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00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:07,500
ought to be it, dishonors your 
husband. 

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00:33:08,300 --> 00:33:12,100
You honor your husband, by the 
way that you speak to him, speak

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00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:17,500
about him and about the way that
you behave around others, and 

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00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:22,400
the wife is to do that, she is 
to honor her husband. 

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00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,400
A woman must love her, husband 
must honor him by her words and 

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00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:31,700
manner of life and must be in 
subjection to him marriage 

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00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:33,400
problems. 
Today would be cured if 

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00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,700
Christian mates would love each 
other and consider God in their 

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00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:39,900
marriage. 
Let me Say this to you, let me 

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00:33:39,908 --> 00:33:43,100
just say this to all those that 
are still searching for a mate 

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00:33:43,100 --> 00:33:46,700
or someday will search for a 
mate in this world. 

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00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:52,200
Let me just tell you. 
You find somebody and you look 

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00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,600
for the greatest quality and 
that greatest quality is this, 

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00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,400
you get this first, everything 
else can fall in, you get this 

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00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,900
first, you find someone that is 
willing to accept the role that 

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00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:07,600
God has instructed that person 
to have in the marriage 

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00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,000
relationship. 
Friendship, you get that person 

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00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,100
first. 
Because I'll tell you something,

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00:34:13,900 --> 00:34:18,000
if a person is not willing to do
that, you are wasting your time,

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00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:21,900
you are wasting your time. 
If you are looking for someone 

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00:34:21,900 --> 00:34:26,300
that is not willing to follow in
the role that God has 

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00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:30,500
instructed. 
But if one would do that, if one

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00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:33,199
would love his wife, for 
example, as Christ loved the 

534
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:36,600
church, he will love her as his 
own body. 

535
00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:40,699
He will dwell with her according
to knowledge humanly speaking. 

536
00:34:41,100 --> 00:34:45,199
She will be His deepest love, 
they would practice the, our 

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00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:49,500
philosophy and not the my 
attitude. 

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00:34:50,500 --> 00:34:54,900
In conclusion this morning this 
is all I have but let me just 

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00:34:54,900 --> 00:35:00,700
say one man said it this way. 
Marriage is for life and must 

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00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:04,300
not be taken lightly. 
It takes work and the right 

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00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:08,500
attitude to make it a success. 
You must always choose that, 

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00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:10,600
which is seeking. 
After the same things that you 

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00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,000
are, you must always find a 
mate, that will help you get to 

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00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,100
heaven and never choose one. 
That is not willing to fit the 

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00:35:18,100 --> 00:35:24,100
role that God has intended for 
him and or her to have Because 

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00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:27,000
there's nothing in all the world
that's as Priceless as the 

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00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,000
couple who have been married for
many years though. 

548
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,900
They've had their rough times. 
They truly love one another in 

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00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:37,800
spite of disagreements sickness,
creeping old age, balding, heads

550
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,600
expanding stomach lines, 
wrinkles false teeth, and feeble

551
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,500
steps. 
Because in the eyes of each 

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00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:48,700
other, they're more in love than
the day that they win, and they 

553
00:35:48,700 --> 00:35:51,100
care for one another in sickness
and in health. 

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00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,400
They see all of each other's 
faults, but they overlooked them

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00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:59,700
seeking that, which is the 
greatest and the best for their 

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00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:02,700
spouse. 
Ladies and gentlemen, that is an

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00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:08,300
exercise of the Mind. 
Strong churches are made up of 

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00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:11,900
families that are strong. 
You will never have a strong 

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00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:16,200
family unit in Home, father's, 
without being the spiritual 

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00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,300
leader in your house, you will 
never have what you ought to be.

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00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:22,700
If the wife is not willing to be
in subjection to such leadership

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00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,300
and guide your children in the 
way that they should go. 

563
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,400
We thank you for listening to 
our podcast, put on by the 

564
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:36,200
Church of Christ at 22:15 plans.
Road in Bakersfield, if you 

565
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,400
would like any additional 
information or you would like to

566
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,400
receive a free Bible 
correspondence, course by mail. 

567
00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:46,900
Please email us at info at True 
Church of Christ 

568
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:50,900
Bakersfield.com. 
Our service times are on Sundays

569
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:56,500
at 10:30 a.m. and 5 p.m. and 
Wednesdays at 7:30 p.m. 

570
00:36:57,100 --> 00:37:00,600
Please make plans to join us. 
We would love for you to be our 

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00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,500
honored guest.