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When the heart of the King was 
married with wine, he commanded 

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metahuman Biz. 
The harbona, big, Tha Back tha's

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ether and carcass 7 Unix who 
served in the presence of King, 

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a hearse us which is King Xerxes
to bring Queen vashti before the

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king, wearing her royal crown in
order to show her beauty to the 

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people and the officials for she
was beautiful to behold but the 

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queen vashti refused to come at 
the King's Command brought by 

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his eunuchs. 
Therefore, the King was Furious 

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and his anger burned within him.
So we need to understand the 

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context of what's going on here.
This King had this party so much

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that he was actually. 
It says he was merry with wine. 

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Basically he was drunk and all 
his buddies were around him and 

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he'd go calls for his Queen to 
come and present herself before 

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him. 
So we need to ask the question, 

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we can see here that she refused
to come at the King's Command. 

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This was her husband. 
So she Fuse to do it. 

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She wasn't going for that. 
She didn't want to be basically 

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objectified before the king and 
before all the people that were 

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with him. 
So the question here for us is, 

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does she have a defense was? 
She was she in the right for not

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submitting to the king? 
So that's kind of how we're 

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going to discuss tonight a 
little bit. 

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So when she refused actually, it
made Xerxes mad and she ended up

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actually being banished from 
King Xerxes and the land. 

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So we're talking about two 
people actually, who do not 

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believe in God and did not 
worship the god of Israel. 

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These people, of course, were 
living hundreds of years before 

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the New Testament was written. 
Before anybody said wives to 

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submit yourself to your 
husband's and the husband's love

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your wives. 
But the point here is that even 

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though they didn't know, God and
had not heard God's word, God's 

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word had not been delivered yet.
It did not mean that they had 

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the not have an obligation to 
God, you know, just because We 

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are born into this world whether
we know God or not, we are still

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under God's law. 
So we have to realize that these

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people back in the day before 
they even knew God's law, they 

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were still under God's law. 
So this also goes into a Moral 

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Moral law, that that they just 
understood the moral law, you 

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know, the moral laws and what 
was right and wrong between 

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husband and wife. 
We want to move on to see what, 

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of course submission isn't. 
So the question was, was Queen 

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vashti justified in the case, 
refusing to submit to her 

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husband, So the bigger question 
is, if you're a wife are there 

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times where you are Justified 
and not submitting or respecting

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your husband Wishes? 
The answer. 

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That question. 
Of course, we have to go to the 

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primary patches that we just 
talked about, which is 

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Ephesians, 5:22 through 24, and 
in verse 23, and it says their 

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wives submit to your own 
husband's as to the Lord, for 

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the husband is the head of the 
wife. 

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As also Christ is the head of 
the church. 

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And he is the savior of the 
body. 

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Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, So let the 

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wives be to their own husband's 
in everything and then verse 33,

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it says nevertheless, Let each 
one of you in particular. 

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So love his own wife, as himself
and let the wife see that she 

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respects her husband, I want to 
notice what this word submission

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means in the Greek submit is 
broken down into two words. 

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It's actually one word who 
Picasso, which is Greek and then

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breaking that down, pupo means 
under and tasso means Authority.

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So, it actually means to to a 
Arranged under. 

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It's actually a military word 
that was used. 

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You know, in the Army there's 
ranks and files you know, one a 

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private is subject to a sergeant
and sergeant of subject to the 

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general they all look at 
everybody as being the same 

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importance, but they all have 
different roles. 

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They all have to be carried out,
you know, if a general tells a 

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private to do something that 
private better do it. 

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A private, can't tell a general 
what to do, of course. 

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So this is the, this is the word
that's being used here. 

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In this, in this verse, lots of 
people dive into this and pull 

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out. 
Out these verses completely out 

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of context. 
So we need to understand the 

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context of the verses that are 
be getting being given here. 

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The book of Ephesians Actually, 
the first three chapters explain

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what God has done for us. 
It tells all the blessings that 

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we have in Christ and then in 
chapters 4 through 6, it tells 

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us because of those blessings, 
how we are how we are to live. 

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Because of God's blessings. 
So when we get down to into 

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chapter 4, we get into chapter 5
and verse 18. 

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It says at in there, says do not
be drunk with wine in, which is 

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dispensation, but be filled with
the spirit. and so we are, we 

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are to walk in a matter of Walk 
in a manner worthy of calling to

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which you have been called and 
that is basically the kind of 

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the gist of what we're saying 
tonight. 

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So as he moves forward, as he 
moves, forward into verse 21 of 

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chapter 5, it says submitting to
one another in fear of God. 

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This word submitting here, has 
basically the same thing, you 

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know, I've heard and I read a 
couple things to where people 

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take this verse and they look at
as Mutual submission. 

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So we are to submit to one 
another. 

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You submit to me, I submit to 
you well that it's not talking 

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about Mutual submission here. 
In fact Mutual submission is 

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back. 
Basically an oxymoron. 

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You can't mutually submit to 
each other. 

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This is this is saying that 
where there is God ordained 

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structure and Authority in our 
world. 

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If we're talking, if we're 
walking in the spirit, we will. 

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Order ourselves underneath the 
leadership and direction of the 

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person whom God had put in 
authority over us. 

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So if we're in a job, we submit 
to our boss. 

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So it's kind of in those lines 
of what this verse is talking 

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about. 
But if we're person over 

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somebody in Authority, we have 
instructions. 

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Also, it says husband's love and
nourish and cherish your wives. 

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You will give up. 
Would you give yourself up for 

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them? 
Wives are submitting to husband.

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Our wives are submitting, but 
husband's, we are giving 

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ourselves up for our wives. 
He's saying that People in 

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authority of responsibility 
before God to live that out in a

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Spirit Led way and the people 
who are under 30 have 

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responsibly live that out in a 
god-honoring way. 

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So that's what the Bible says. 
That's what God how God designed

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it in the family structure of in
the, in the husband is the one 

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who has Authority. 
And the wife is the one who was 

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under Authority. 
The moving on we want to notice 

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and look at some points of what 
submission is not. 

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The Bible does not teach that 
men are more valuable or have 

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more dignity have more skill or 
are more important than women. 

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The Bible does not teach that 
anywhere men and women and 

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husbands and wives are equally 
image bearers of God, equal 

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worth equal, dignity, and equal 
value. 

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This teaching on submission is 
about God, ordained structure 

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and marriage and not a pallet 
about superiority or value and a

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man who thinks he's Superior or 
has the authority is not living 

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out of God, does not have a 
Godly mind is not living out of 

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God through life also, the Bible
does not teach that women are to

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submit to men. 
It teaches that wives are to 

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submit to their own husbands So 
that's telling you that's a very

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clear. 
We need to understand that that 

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one woman does not have to take 
her submit to a to somebody that

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she is not married to, it's only
to her own husband. 

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And there's also a difference 
between submission and 

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obedience. 
It's pretty important. 

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The Bible teaches that children 
of course are to obey their 

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parents and do what the parents 
say. 

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But the Bible does not teach 
that wives to our obey their 

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husbands says to submit not to 
obey. 

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Or to order under submission, is
the acknowledgement that there 

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are aspects of life on Earth 
that required guard, 

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god-ordained structure. 
It's a commitment that if you're

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going to play a part in that 
structure with respect and 

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reverence for Authority, living 
a Spirit-filled way of life. 

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Now. if it violates God's word 
declined to submit, If it what 

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your husband is telling you or 
leaving you in the wrong 

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direction away from God declined
to do what he is asking to do. 

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Now, this will not only applies 
in marriage but it applies in 

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many parts of our life. 
You know, if an employer is 

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asking us to do something that 
is Shady or tell lies or Forge 

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something with taxes, any of 
that manner, we're to decline to

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do it. 
Because it's not in line with 

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what God teaches us to do. 
Even though that person is in 

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authority over us, we our first 
priority is to God. 

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Of course we see here, we got 
governments employers husbands 

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and wives. 
You know, we don't have to do 

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what they tell us to do. 
If it's in contrary to what God 

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is teaching. 
Us course we obey God And not, 

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man. 
Also submission, doesn't mean 

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that you don't have a voice. 
You know, some people have have 

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really messed up submission and 
and there have been wives who 

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have become timid and who just 
say whatever you want. 

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You're my husband, I'm going to 
submit to you, whatever you want

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to do, whatever you think, and 
they become Meek and they come 

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become voiceless to express her 
own way of thinking. 

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This means that if we're husband
and wife, we come to a place. 

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If we don't agree on decision 
that we're trying to face after 

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time, after we've discussed it. 
Between husbands and wives. 

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After we've gone to God in 
prayer and discuss it after we 

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have prayed about it and we're 
still at an impasse that's when 

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the wife. 
Has to say, even when you're 

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still disagreeing, the man has 
one way. 

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The wife has the other way, the 
wife has to then submit if it's 

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within Godly parameters. 
I know this is a little tough to

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for me to give but, you know, we
need to remember us as husbands.

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You know, if we go back to 
Chapter 3 of Genesis, the fall 

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of Adam and Eve, you know, you 
know, Eve was the one who took a

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bite of the apple, or the fruit 
first, give it to her husband. 

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This is Satan tempted. 
Her, Adam did absolutely nothing

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to protect her from sinning 
nothing. 

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He was there the entire time, 
but he didn't do a single thing 

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to help her, but when God came 
looking for him who Go to 

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looking for first. 
He came looking for Adam. 

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So us as husbands have an 
absolute responsibility to 

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protect our wives from all 
manners of Sin from, you know, 

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getting In Harm's Way or or 
whatever. 

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It looks like us as husbands 
have the option of 

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responsibility to not be 
passive. 

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We have to work. 
So us as men we have to or 

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husbands, we have to understand 
the sobriety of that. 

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Thought the sobriety of that 
teaching, we are responsible, 

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God is going to come looking at 
us on that day. 

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What have we done to protect our
wives? 

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If you notice to submission, 
does not happen when there is 

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agreement. 
You know, if we both agree on 

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something there's no submission 
done. 

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So God is actually giving us 
instructions on how to conduct 

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ourselves and how to operate 
when there is conflict between 

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each other. so we've got to ask 
ourselves some wives, some some 

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tough questions here, if we are 
regularly disagreeing with your 

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husband, So let's get, let's go 
through these questions that we 

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need to kind of self-reflection 
is basically what this is going 

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to be about. 
So wives you have to ask 

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yourself if you're continuously 
disagreeing with your husband, 

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are you living a Spirit-filled 
life? 

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That God has taught us also. 
Are we a person who is regularly

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disagreeable? 
You know, if you're a spouse 

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that you don't regularly agree, 
are you, are you controlling 

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person? 
Are you fearful or you humble 

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and teachable? 
Do we think your way, if you 

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think your way is always, right?
Or we humble before the Lord, of

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course, you know, for men, being
passive is, is a very easy 

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simple nature for men. 
It's easier to sit and do 

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nothing. 
Absolutely. 

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Easy, like we just talked about 
Adam in Genesis 3 did nothing, 

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but I think in the same manner 
for women for wives it is it is 

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easy for them to be fearful 
because of lack of control, you 

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know, there's so many things 
that go on in this world you 

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know, that so many things that 
that wives and mothers deal 

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with, you know, not having 
control over their children, not

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not having control of, you know,
stuff at work or fear of your 

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career, whatever, you know, we 
need to. 

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We need to understand that that 
is a very big trap that that 

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wipes can fall in. 
So, We need, we as husbands need

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to make sure that we are making 
our wives feel safe. 

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So, the real question that 
sometimes women are wife wants 

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to know is, can I really trust 
my husband to keep me in my 

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children? 
Safe. 

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So, the next question here is, 
do you demonstrate respect for 

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your husband? 
Effusion is 5:33 It says their 

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wives to respect your husband in
a marriage relationship for a 

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wife to be effectively 
submitting. 

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And for a husband, to be 
effectively leading, there needs

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to be a sense that you got wet. 
We're both on the same team. 

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We need to understand who the 
enemy is, you know, when there's

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conflict, you know, that is, 
that is Satan working hard to 

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get in between you. 
As long as as long as husbands 

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and wives. 
Figure out what the issue 

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actually is, I don't have an 
issue with Lizzie. 

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Lizzie doesn't have the issue 
with me. 

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The issue is the issue we're 
allies in that. 

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We're working hard to, to get 
through that issue. 

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Also, the next one are we 
seeking, are you seeking Godly 

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counsel in your disagreements? 
Proverbs 24, and 26 says, for by

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wise counsel, you will wager own
war in a multitude. 

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Counselors there is safety. 
You know, it is, it is 

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absolutely wise to go out and to
seek Godly counsel for something

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that may be going on in in your 
marriage or whatever may be 

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troubling. 
You but the thing we need to be 

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careful about and Frank touched 
on it. 

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This morning is We don't need to
be getting counsel from our 

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friends who were going to agree 
with us. 

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You know, we need to be going. 
Even even to older women or men 

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that have experienced through 
conflict to help us to get 

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through that. 
That's going to give us the wise

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counsel that we need to get 
through problems. 

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And also, I think one of the 
more, I'm sorry, we've got four 

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year, do you pray for your 
husband? 

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Us men us. 
Husbands need the absolute 

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prayers of Our Lives. 
That is somewhat on the most 

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important things that I think 
that needs to happen in order 

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for a relationship with a 
husband and wife to be 

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successful. 
You know, if a husband is 

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praying for her his wife, and if
wife is praying for her husband,

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they're both going to meet in 
the middle. 

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They're both praying towards God
and working to do what God Wills

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us. 
And then lastly, of course, the 

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question is, do you Trust God, 
can we read? 

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What is in the Bible? 
And Trust what he's telling us 

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is true. 
You know. 

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If it is decision that's going 
to be wrong. 

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God's coming for the husband, 
God's going to hold us. 

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Accountable you know if we as 
husbands make a wrong decision 

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we're going to be held 
accountable for that. 

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So we need to make sure that 
we're going to him in prayer and

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asking for guidance. 
So back to our question was 

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Queen. 
Vashti correct. 

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For not submitted. 
Now we don't have all and enough

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information to definitively make
a judgment on that because it 

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just doesn't tell us but we can 
make make based on what we do 

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know. 
I think this case in this case, 

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she was absolutely Justified for
not falling. 

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What King Xerxes tell them to 
do, you know bringing he was 

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drunk. 
He wanted to bring her before 

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him and all the other people 
that were around him and 

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basically show her off. 
And that of course is not. 

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I don't think, you know, we can 
read anywhere in the Bible where

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it says that that's going to be 
okay to do so husband's, we are 

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not off the hook. 
So how do we help our wives? 

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Damn it. 
So basically wives typically 

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have a difficult time in 
submitting and show them respect

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is because husbands are not 
leading or showing love to our 

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wives that God has commanded us.
So what are some ways where we 

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can help our wives to submit? 
We can prove to them that we are

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following God's Will by the 
things that we do. 

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The actions that we show the 
times that we go into prayer, 

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you know, everything that we do.
We are proving and building a 

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trust up. 
Hopefully our trust in our life 

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is being built up to where they 
trust us with their with their 

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spiritual life. 
You know we need to make those 

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sound decisions. 
You know, I think wives want and

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desire a man who shows and is 
living a Godly life, being the 

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spiritual leader. 
So we need to make sure their 

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wives know that that is the most
important thing to us is that we

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are following God's will also 
with teaches us that we are to 

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love cherish and to nourish our 
Waters Love here in these verses

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is not a romantic feeling you 
know love is a duty. 

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It's what were called to do. 
It's it's to love them when it's

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hard. 
You know we made the decision to

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marry him and we're going to get
through it no matter what. 

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So you know are we willing to 
sacrifice our needs or wants in 

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our desires for our wives? 
Are we willing to lay down her 

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life for her just as Christ to 
the church? 

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You know, those are some tough 
questions that we need to ask 

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ourselves. 
He gave Jesus gave himself for 

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the church. 
Also, nourish nurse here means 

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to help to grow and to feed. 
You know, it is our 

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responsibility as husbands to 
help our wives grow spiritually,

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most importantly, 
intellectually. 

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This is our duty, it's our job 
to help. 

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Bring them along, you know, 
nourish means, you know, it, it 

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means like tending to a garden, 
you know, you weed out the 

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weeds, you you fertilize it, you
water it, you helped it grow. 

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That's our Hut. 
That's our job as a husband, 

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also in verses 28 and 29 cents. 
So husband's ought to love their

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own wives as their own bodies. 
He who loves his wife, loves 

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himself for no one ever hated 
his own flesh, but nourishes and

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cherishes it, just ask the Lord 
does the church. 

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And then cherish here means to 
predict protect and value her 

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and and be that she's a steamed 
in our eyes. 

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So can we ask ourselves husband 
is it easy for our wives to 

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submit to her husband were 
filled fulfilling these roles, 

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absolutely. 
Also, we need to seek our wives 

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00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:07,300
wisdom, you know, we married our
wives for a reason because we 

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love them and we respect them 
and we and we value what they 

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00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,000
have to say. 
And we value how they helped us 

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00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,700
become the men that we are. 
And the husband's that we are, 

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00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,700
you know, marriage is a 
partnership that is God 

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00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:23,200
ordained. 
Two minds are always better than

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00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,700
one. 
So, we need to make sure that we

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00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:28,800
see her wisdom. 
And also I think this one's 

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00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,500
pretty good. 
As we never mentioned 

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submission, you know, nobody 
likes the boss, who says, I'm 

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00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,400
your boss, nobody likes to hear 
that you're going to do what I 

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tell you you because I'm your 
boss. 

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Well, kind of the same thing 
with husbands and wives. 

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It's not our job as husbands to 
judge whether our wives are 

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00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,000
being submissive or not. 
That's, that's God's Point. 

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00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:54,700
That's, that's God's position. 
So, there's so many things in 

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00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:58,500
here, that that helped have 
helped me be a better husband. 

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And, you know, I had not 
fulfilled my role as a husband, 

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00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,700
or a spiritual leader for a long
time, but once I kind of figured

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00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:10,900
out and got my act together, it 
unlocked, an area of art, Lizzie

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00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,400
and eyes marriage that I had no 
idea existed and it's pretty 

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00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,300
amazing. 
You know how it works. 

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00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,200
The support, she gives me and 
encouragement, she gives me a so

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00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,500
undeserving, but she's so 
willing to fulfill her role that

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00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,200
God designed for her, because 
I'm willing to fulfill my role 

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00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:31,800
that God designed for me. 
So husband's, it starts with us,

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00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,100
it starts with a man's role. 
If we want our wives and our 

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00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,900
family to grow in Christ, it 
starts with us. 

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00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:45,100
So, wives be prepared, when you 
submit to your husband, at God 

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00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,000
as God intends us, be ready for 
your husband. 

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00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,400
To be the Christian that God 
always intended him to be. 

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00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,900
We thank you for listening to 
our podcast, put on by the 

365
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:59,700
Church of Christ at 22:15 plans.
Road in Bakersfield, if you 

366
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:02,800
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367
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,900
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368
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,400
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369
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,300
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370
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:20,000
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00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,100
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