When the heart of the King was married with wine, he commanded
metahuman Biz. The harbona, big, Tha Back tha's
ether and carcass 7 Unix who served in the presence of King,
a hearse us which is King Xerxes to bring Queen vashti before the
king, wearing her royal crown in order to show her beauty to the
people and the officials for she was beautiful to behold but the
queen vashti refused to come at the King's Command brought by
his eunuchs. Therefore, the King was Furious
and his anger burned within him. So we need to understand the
context of what's going on here. This King had this party so much
that he was actually. It says he was merry with wine.
Basically he was drunk and all his buddies were around him and
he'd go calls for his Queen to come and present herself before
him. So we need to ask the question,
we can see here that she refused to come at the King's Command.
This was her husband. So she Fuse to do it.
She wasn't going for that. She didn't want to be basically
objectified before the king and before all the people that were
with him. So the question here for us is,
does she have a defense was? She was she in the right for not
submitting to the king? So that's kind of how we're
going to discuss tonight a little bit.
So when she refused actually, it made Xerxes mad and she ended up
actually being banished from King Xerxes and the land.
So we're talking about two people actually, who do not
believe in God and did not worship the god of Israel.
These people, of course, were living hundreds of years before
the New Testament was written. Before anybody said wives to
submit yourself to your husband's and the husband's love
your wives. But the point here is that even
though they didn't know, God and had not heard God's word, God's
word had not been delivered yet. It did not mean that they had
the not have an obligation to God, you know, just because We
are born into this world whether we know God or not, we are still
under God's law. So we have to realize that these
people back in the day before they even knew God's law, they
were still under God's law. So this also goes into a Moral
Moral law, that that they just understood the moral law, you
know, the moral laws and what was right and wrong between
husband and wife. We want to move on to see what,
of course submission isn't. So the question was, was Queen
vashti justified in the case, refusing to submit to her
husband, So the bigger question is, if you're a wife are there
times where you are Justified and not submitting or respecting
your husband Wishes? The answer.
That question. Of course, we have to go to the
primary patches that we just talked about, which is
Ephesians, 5:22 through 24, and in verse 23, and it says their
wives submit to your own husband's as to the Lord, for
the husband is the head of the wife.
As also Christ is the head of the church.
And he is the savior of the body.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, So let the
wives be to their own husband's in everything and then verse 33,
it says nevertheless, Let each one of you in particular.
So love his own wife, as himself and let the wife see that she
respects her husband, I want to notice what this word submission
means in the Greek submit is broken down into two words.
It's actually one word who Picasso, which is Greek and then
breaking that down, pupo means under and tasso means Authority.
So, it actually means to to a Arranged under.
It's actually a military word that was used.
You know, in the Army there's ranks and files you know, one a
private is subject to a sergeant and sergeant of subject to the
general they all look at everybody as being the same
importance, but they all have different roles.
They all have to be carried out, you know, if a general tells a
private to do something that private better do it.
A private, can't tell a general what to do, of course.
So this is the, this is the word that's being used here.
In this, in this verse, lots of people dive into this and pull
out. Out these verses completely out
of context. So we need to understand the
context of the verses that are be getting being given here.
The book of Ephesians Actually, the first three chapters explain
what God has done for us. It tells all the blessings that
we have in Christ and then in chapters 4 through 6, it tells
us because of those blessings, how we are how we are to live.
Because of God's blessings. So when we get down to into
chapter 4, we get into chapter 5 and verse 18.
It says at in there, says do not be drunk with wine in, which is
dispensation, but be filled with the spirit. and so we are, we
are to walk in a matter of Walk in a manner worthy of calling to
which you have been called and that is basically the kind of
the gist of what we're saying tonight.
So as he moves forward, as he moves, forward into verse 21 of
chapter 5, it says submitting to one another in fear of God.
This word submitting here, has basically the same thing, you
know, I've heard and I read a couple things to where people
take this verse and they look at as Mutual submission.
So we are to submit to one another.
You submit to me, I submit to you well that it's not talking
about Mutual submission here. In fact Mutual submission is
back. Basically an oxymoron.
You can't mutually submit to each other.
This is this is saying that where there is God ordained
structure and Authority in our world.
If we're talking, if we're walking in the spirit, we will.
Order ourselves underneath the leadership and direction of the
person whom God had put in authority over us.
So if we're in a job, we submit to our boss.
So it's kind of in those lines of what this verse is talking
about. But if we're person over
somebody in Authority, we have instructions.
Also, it says husband's love and nourish and cherish your wives.
You will give up. Would you give yourself up for
them? Wives are submitting to husband.
Our wives are submitting, but husband's, we are giving
ourselves up for our wives. He's saying that People in
authority of responsibility before God to live that out in a
Spirit Led way and the people who are under 30 have
responsibly live that out in a god-honoring way.
So that's what the Bible says. That's what God how God designed
it in the family structure of in the, in the husband is the one
who has Authority. And the wife is the one who was
under Authority. The moving on we want to notice
and look at some points of what submission is not.
The Bible does not teach that men are more valuable or have
more dignity have more skill or are more important than women.
The Bible does not teach that anywhere men and women and
husbands and wives are equally image bearers of God, equal
worth equal, dignity, and equal value.
This teaching on submission is about God, ordained structure
and marriage and not a pallet about superiority or value and a
man who thinks he's Superior or has the authority is not living
out of God, does not have a Godly mind is not living out of
God through life also, the Bible does not teach that women are to
submit to men. It teaches that wives are to
submit to their own husbands So that's telling you that's a very
clear. We need to understand that that
one woman does not have to take her submit to a to somebody that
she is not married to, it's only to her own husband.
And there's also a difference between submission and
obedience. It's pretty important.
The Bible teaches that children of course are to obey their
parents and do what the parents say.
But the Bible does not teach that wives to our obey their
husbands says to submit not to obey.
Or to order under submission, is the acknowledgement that there
are aspects of life on Earth that required guard,
god-ordained structure. It's a commitment that if you're
going to play a part in that structure with respect and
reverence for Authority, living a Spirit-filled way of life.
Now. if it violates God's word declined to submit, If it what
your husband is telling you or leaving you in the wrong
direction away from God declined to do what he is asking to do.
Now, this will not only applies in marriage but it applies in
many parts of our life. You know, if an employer is
asking us to do something that is Shady or tell lies or Forge
something with taxes, any of that manner, we're to decline to
do it. Because it's not in line with
what God teaches us to do. Even though that person is in
authority over us, we our first priority is to God.
Of course we see here, we got governments employers husbands
and wives. You know, we don't have to do
what they tell us to do. If it's in contrary to what God
is teaching. Us course we obey God And not,
man. Also submission, doesn't mean
that you don't have a voice. You know, some people have have
really messed up submission and and there have been wives who
have become timid and who just say whatever you want.
You're my husband, I'm going to submit to you, whatever you want
to do, whatever you think, and they become Meek and they come
become voiceless to express her own way of thinking.
This means that if we're husband and wife, we come to a place.
If we don't agree on decision that we're trying to face after
time, after we've discussed it. Between husbands and wives.
After we've gone to God in prayer and discuss it after we
have prayed about it and we're still at an impasse that's when
the wife. Has to say, even when you're
still disagreeing, the man has one way.
The wife has the other way, the wife has to then submit if it's
within Godly parameters. I know this is a little tough to
for me to give but, you know, we need to remember us as husbands.
You know, if we go back to Chapter 3 of Genesis, the fall
of Adam and Eve, you know, you know, Eve was the one who took a
bite of the apple, or the fruit first, give it to her husband.
This is Satan tempted. Her, Adam did absolutely nothing
to protect her from sinning nothing.
He was there the entire time, but he didn't do a single thing
to help her, but when God came looking for him who Go to
looking for first. He came looking for Adam.
So us as husbands have an absolute responsibility to
protect our wives from all manners of Sin from, you know,
getting In Harm's Way or or whatever.
It looks like us as husbands have the option of
responsibility to not be passive.
We have to work. So us as men we have to or
husbands, we have to understand the sobriety of that.
Thought the sobriety of that teaching, we are responsible,
God is going to come looking at us on that day.
What have we done to protect our wives?
If you notice to submission, does not happen when there is
agreement. You know, if we both agree on
something there's no submission done.
So God is actually giving us instructions on how to conduct
ourselves and how to operate when there is conflict between
each other. so we've got to ask ourselves some wives, some some
tough questions here, if we are regularly disagreeing with your
husband, So let's get, let's go through these questions that we
need to kind of self-reflection is basically what this is going
to be about. So wives you have to ask
yourself if you're continuously disagreeing with your husband,
are you living a Spirit-filled life?
That God has taught us also. Are we a person who is regularly
disagreeable? You know, if you're a spouse
that you don't regularly agree, are you, are you controlling
person? Are you fearful or you humble
and teachable? Do we think your way, if you
think your way is always, right? Or we humble before the Lord, of
course, you know, for men, being passive is, is a very easy
simple nature for men. It's easier to sit and do
nothing. Absolutely.
Easy, like we just talked about Adam in Genesis 3 did nothing,
but I think in the same manner for women for wives it is it is
easy for them to be fearful because of lack of control, you
know, there's so many things that go on in this world you
know, that so many things that that wives and mothers deal
with, you know, not having control over their children, not
not having control of, you know, stuff at work or fear of your
career, whatever, you know, we need to.
We need to understand that that is a very big trap that that
wipes can fall in. So, We need, we as husbands need
to make sure that we are making our wives feel safe.
So, the real question that sometimes women are wife wants
to know is, can I really trust my husband to keep me in my
children? Safe.
So, the next question here is, do you demonstrate respect for
your husband? Effusion is 5:33 It says their
wives to respect your husband in a marriage relationship for a
wife to be effectively submitting.
And for a husband, to be effectively leading, there needs
to be a sense that you got wet. We're both on the same team.
We need to understand who the enemy is, you know, when there's
conflict, you know, that is, that is Satan working hard to
get in between you. As long as as long as husbands
and wives. Figure out what the issue
actually is, I don't have an issue with Lizzie.
Lizzie doesn't have the issue with me.
The issue is the issue we're allies in that.
We're working hard to, to get through that issue.
Also, the next one are we seeking, are you seeking Godly
counsel in your disagreements? Proverbs 24, and 26 says, for by
wise counsel, you will wager own war in a multitude.
Counselors there is safety. You know, it is, it is
absolutely wise to go out and to seek Godly counsel for something
that may be going on in in your marriage or whatever may be
troubling. You but the thing we need to be
careful about and Frank touched on it.
This morning is We don't need to be getting counsel from our
friends who were going to agree with us.
You know, we need to be going. Even even to older women or men
that have experienced through conflict to help us to get
through that. That's going to give us the wise
counsel that we need to get through problems.
And also, I think one of the more, I'm sorry, we've got four
year, do you pray for your husband?
Us men us. Husbands need the absolute
prayers of Our Lives. That is somewhat on the most
important things that I think that needs to happen in order
for a relationship with a husband and wife to be
successful. You know, if a husband is
praying for her his wife, and if wife is praying for her husband,
they're both going to meet in the middle.
They're both praying towards God and working to do what God Wills
us. And then lastly, of course, the
question is, do you Trust God, can we read?
What is in the Bible? And Trust what he's telling us
is true. You know.
If it is decision that's going to be wrong.
God's coming for the husband, God's going to hold us.
Accountable you know if we as husbands make a wrong decision
we're going to be held accountable for that.
So we need to make sure that we're going to him in prayer and
asking for guidance. So back to our question was
Queen. Vashti correct.
For not submitted. Now we don't have all and enough
information to definitively make a judgment on that because it
just doesn't tell us but we can make make based on what we do
know. I think this case in this case,
she was absolutely Justified for not falling.
What King Xerxes tell them to do, you know bringing he was
drunk. He wanted to bring her before
him and all the other people that were around him and
basically show her off. And that of course is not.
I don't think, you know, we can read anywhere in the Bible where
it says that that's going to be okay to do so husband's, we are
not off the hook. So how do we help our wives?
Damn it. So basically wives typically
have a difficult time in submitting and show them respect
is because husbands are not leading or showing love to our
wives that God has commanded us. So what are some ways where we
can help our wives to submit? We can prove to them that we are
following God's Will by the things that we do.
The actions that we show the times that we go into prayer,
you know, everything that we do. We are proving and building a
trust up. Hopefully our trust in our life
is being built up to where they trust us with their with their
spiritual life. You know we need to make those
sound decisions. You know, I think wives want and
desire a man who shows and is living a Godly life, being the
spiritual leader. So we need to make sure their
wives know that that is the most important thing to us is that we
are following God's will also with teaches us that we are to
love cherish and to nourish our Waters Love here in these verses
is not a romantic feeling you know love is a duty.
It's what were called to do. It's it's to love them when it's
hard. You know we made the decision to
marry him and we're going to get through it no matter what.
So you know are we willing to sacrifice our needs or wants in
our desires for our wives? Are we willing to lay down her
life for her just as Christ to the church?
You know, those are some tough questions that we need to ask
ourselves. He gave Jesus gave himself for
the church. Also, nourish nurse here means
to help to grow and to feed. You know, it is our
responsibility as husbands to help our wives grow spiritually,
most importantly, intellectually.
This is our duty, it's our job to help.
Bring them along, you know, nourish means, you know, it, it
means like tending to a garden, you know, you weed out the
weeds, you you fertilize it, you water it, you helped it grow.
That's our Hut. That's our job as a husband,
also in verses 28 and 29 cents. So husband's ought to love their
own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves
himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just ask the Lord does the church.
And then cherish here means to predict protect and value her
and and be that she's a steamed in our eyes.
So can we ask ourselves husband is it easy for our wives to
submit to her husband were filled fulfilling these roles,
absolutely. Also, we need to seek our wives
wisdom, you know, we married our wives for a reason because we
love them and we respect them and we and we value what they
have to say. And we value how they helped us
become the men that we are. And the husband's that we are,
you know, marriage is a partnership that is God
ordained. Two minds are always better than
one. So, we need to make sure that we
see her wisdom. And also I think this one's
pretty good. As we never mentioned
submission, you know, nobody likes the boss, who says, I'm
your boss, nobody likes to hear that you're going to do what I
tell you you because I'm your boss.
Well, kind of the same thing with husbands and wives.
It's not our job as husbands to judge whether our wives are
being submissive or not. That's, that's God's Point.
That's, that's God's position. So, there's so many things in
here, that that helped have helped me be a better husband.
And, you know, I had not fulfilled my role as a husband,
or a spiritual leader for a long time, but once I kind of figured
out and got my act together, it unlocked, an area of art, Lizzie
and eyes marriage that I had no idea existed and it's pretty
amazing. You know how it works.
The support, she gives me and encouragement, she gives me a so
undeserving, but she's so willing to fulfill her role that
God designed for her, because I'm willing to fulfill my role
that God designed for me. So husband's, it starts with us,
it starts with a man's role. If we want our wives and our
family to grow in Christ, it starts with us.
So, wives be prepared, when you submit to your husband, at God
as God intends us, be ready for your husband.
To be the Christian that God always intended him to be.
We thank you for listening to our podcast, put on by the
Church of Christ at 22:15 plans. Road in Bakersfield, if you
would like any additional information or you would like to
receive a free Bible correspondence, course by mail.
Please email us at info at True Church of Christ
Bakersfield.com. Our service times are on Sundays
at 10:30 a.m. and 5 p.m. and Wednesdays at 7:30 p.m.
Please make plans to join us. We would love for you to be our
honored guest.