As we mentioned earlier, we're so thankful and grateful for all
who were able to make it here this morning.
We know there's a lot of illness going around and there's some
that are here they're missing that we see normally that aren't
here because of that. And then there's some that are
traveling as well. So let's keep all those in our
mind in our prayer and we're so thankful that you were able to
make it here this morning. This is not a new lesson I gave
this. It's been, I think about five
years or a little over five years ago when I gave this and
when I when I gave this then and it's the same now.
I do not have anybody specific in mind when giving this lesson.
There's no issues or anything like that.
But I think we desperately need to hear from the word of God
concerning these things. So if that unfortunate moment
comes up that we're going to talk about today, which is
specifically divorce is what we're going to talk about today,
that we are prepared to deal with that based on what the
scriptures teach us. And we need to, we need to, we
need to be prepared, like I said, and be compassionate and,
and understand what Jesus teaches us in the word of God.
We're going to be in Matthew chapter 19 dealing with verses
one through 12. And this was actually supposed
to be Frank's week this week, but he and I traded.
So he's going to be teaching next week.
Just in case anybody was kind of curious what was going on with
the teaching schedule as well. So in the, you know, we, we may
think that we not, may not be touched by this subject that
we're going to talk about this morning.
But personally, we may not be touched with this subject.
But those around us, those may be in the church or or out in
the, the world that may come to experience this subject that
we're going to talk about today. We need to be ready for it.
We have a responsibility as Christians on multiple levels as
we are living our Christian life with our, our, if you want to
call it a church family or Philip brothers and sisters, we
have a responsibility. We must care for one another
with concern. This is what it means to be
brothers and sisters. We don't just sit in a service
next to each other, you know, once a week or twice a week or
whatever it may be. That's not what the church is.
The church is more than that. We care for each other.
We look out for each other, we serve and we help each other.
This means when a couple in the church is struggling in marriage
in any way, even maybe contemplating divorce, we don't
isolate them or ignore them during their struggle.
We, we, we care for them as as our our nuclear family would.
We would come close, we would draw near them, we would try to
help them through whatever situation may be coming at them.
Secondly was we must encourage each other with the truth.
We don't just share our thoughts or our opinions on with each
other in, in, in any matter. We share God's, God's word and
what God teaches us and in the context of caring and concerned,
we open up the Bible together, helping each other to see what
God says for us. And everything that God says for
us is for our own good. And we need to understand that.
We need to look at what Jesus says about marriage and divorce.
And we also because we want to be able to encourage one another
with truth and not just with our opinions, not with not with
Chris's opinions or anybody else's opinions.
You know, the church is not based on opinions.
The church is based on truth and that's what we hope to discover
today. And 3rd, as we encourage with
one another, in truth, we must also comfort one another with
love. What we're going to dive into
the next few minutes, it can be a sensitive subject to those
that may be here. I don't know each and
everybody's situation. I don't know to.
I don't claim to know everything about everybody's situation, but
I know it may be opening up maybe some old wounds or some
sore thoughts or or or previous experiences.
It may be a wound from the past, but maybe it's still open wound.
I don't, I don't know. There's so many emotions that
that people have experienced or maybe you're experiencing with
maybe sorrow or loss, disappointment, anger, regret,
guilt, maybe all the above or maybe so much more.
So I hope to be sensitive. Today is my is my goal.
The last thing I want to do is is to make matters worse or make
wounds worse. We want to understand that the
gospel words that are taught here are for our healing and for
comfort. So we need to understand that
moving forward, whatever the subject may be, it doesn't have
to be the subject of divorce and marriage.
It could be any topic that affects us here.
The, the, the gospel is intended to treat every single subject
that comes to us at life. We want to care for our children
who are affected, of course, by marital struggle and divorce in
a way that those children aren't pushed away from the church.
So if there's a situation that's going on, we want to make sure
that those children aren't rejected in any way or, or the
way that the church handles a certain situation to where that
that child is taught incorrectly of how we're supposed to handle
these. We want to make sure that if
there's anything being experienced right now in the
congregation that you know, it's not necessarily it's something
that we're afraid of or ashamed of.
We need to make sure that we understand that the congregation
here is not a congregation that shames people, that it's not the
purpose of the gospel nor nor it's the purpose of us as
members to to shame. We have all sinned we and we've
all been sinned against and none of us are better than each other
in any way. This means when we hurt, we hurt
with those there's those that hurt with us.
We weep with those who weep. And as we love and and Jesus
loves, Romans 12 says rejoice with those who rejoice and weep
with those who weep. This is our responsibility as
Christians, and in light of the responsibility, our lives are to
reflect our reflection of Jesus's love in the world where
marital struggle and divorce are very, very real.
It's very common. And quite frankly, quite
frankly, every single marriage is under attack today.
We need to understand that there is an adversary who wants to
destroy the marriage relationship because it was
created by God and designed by God.
We know that Satan is doing everything he can to attack that
marriage union. The Bible doesn't say ignore the
devil and he will flee from you. It says resist the devil and he
will flee from you in James 47. So Jesus's words for Matthew 19
one through 12, we're going to read that.
It says there beginning in verse one.
Now it came to pass when Jesus had finished these things that
he departed from Galilee and came to to the region of Judea
beyond the Jordan, and great multitudes followed him and he
healed them there. The Pharisees also came to him,
testing him and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for any for just any reason?
And he answered, And he said to them, Have you not read that he
who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and
said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh. So then they are no longer 2,
but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined
together, let not not man separate.
Then they said to him, Why then did Moses command to give a
certificate of divorce and to put her away?
He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts,
permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning.
But from the beginning it was not so.
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for
sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and
whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.
His disciples said to him, if such is the case of the man with
his wife, it is better not to marry.
But he said to them, All cannot accept the same, but only those
to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were
born from thus, who were born thus from their mother's womb.
And there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there
are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the
Kingdom of heaven. Heaven's sake, he who is able to
accept it, let him accept it. So I want to consider 3, three
points as we go through this sermon today, and we'll talk
about what Jesus's words mean for our lives.
Truth number one, God created marriage.
It starts with the creation. When asked about marriage and
divorce in verses four and five, Jesus says, have you not read
that He who made them at the beginning made them male and
female? And he said, for this reason a
man shall, shall, shall leave his father and mother be joined
to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
So the man and the woman are no longer 2, but they're one flesh.
What Jesus is saying here, Jesus takes us all the way back to the
very beginning of the Bible in Genesis one where God created
man and woman and brings them together in this union called
marriage. And if we think about it, you
know, God didn't have to create us in this way as men and women.
He could create it as however he wanted it to.
He didn't have to create marriage in this way, one man
and one woman coming together in one flesh and one union.
But he did. And by doing so, God defines
marriage from the beginning for our good.
And we know that we live in a country that officially denies
this truth. If you want to say civilizations
and millennia have accepted God's, you know, definition of
marriage as an exclusive, permanent union of one man.
We've seen that for for years and years and years and years.
And about 30 years ago, it was reiterated that the definition
of our country across all party lines, that it was called the
Defense of Marriage Act, It was agreed upon that it's a marriage
between a man and a woman. And if we remember, about nine
years ago, the Supreme Court, of course, struck down key
provisions of that act in a way that paved the way for the
redefinition of marriage across the country.
One prominent profession, Christian Church leader, if you
want to say, said in response to this, this is a huge moment when
lots of us are realizing that the old way of seeing things
doesn't work. That was a quote UN quote
Christian who said that. So even even Christian leaders
in the past saying that the old way, the way that God defined
marriage, it's basically antiquated, if you want to say,
and it's appalling. It had, you know, people having
the audacity to come along 1000 years, thousands of years of God
creation defining marriage in the 2000 years after Jesus
reiterated that definition. Then they say in the last, last
nine years, OK, yeah, that's, that's not the way it should be.
We're going to redefine our marriage here.
It's appalling to say to say that from the beginning of
creation God has defined marriage for our good.
So we need to trust and submit to his word and see the beauty
of God's definition of marriage. One man, one woman, both
masterfully moulded by the Creator in the image of their
Maker, with equal dignity and complementary roles coming
together to form 1 flesh. You know, we don't need to look
to a court, we don't need to look to the government's to
define marriage for us. We have the word of God that is
very clear on what marriage is and how we should go about it.
God has also designed marriage intentionally.
God's design of marriage is for the display of the gospel.
This is on another level that we can think about this God's
design of marriage is the unit between one man and one month.
One woman is not random. God is not random in His ways.
God is not reckless in His ways. God knows exactly what He's
doing all the time and we need to understand that everything
that He has done currently does or will do in the future is not
random. When God made man and the and
woman and brought them together a marriage, he wasn't just kind
of, you know, just rolling the dice and hoping that this was
going to work. And you know, that's not what
God's, that's not what God does. God does this intentionally.
He was painting a picture. And it's so important for us to
understand, you know, some people view marriage merely as a
means of self fulfillment, if you want to say, or self
satisfaction. And our aim is to find a mate
who completes us. And if we just have this view
of, of marriage just as that, that's very limited.
That's a very limited view of marriage.
And it, it could be lead to some very poor, poor results.
The Bible teaches differently, though.
The Bible teaches that God designed marriage not as an end,
but as a means to an end. God designed marriage to be a
picture that points to something greater.
If you want to say we see in Ephesians 3, Ephesians 531 and
32, Paul quotes from Genesis 2 just like Jesus does.
He says for this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh. And then he says this in verse
32. He says this is a great mystery,
but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
The purpose of marriage is to point us to Christ.
That is the purpose of it. We want to follow the logic here
that's given to us. Marriage is a picture of Christ
and and the Church on the camets of this earthly world.
Ephesians 525 says Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also
loved the church and gave himself for.
So a husband is designed by God to be a picture to the world of
Christ's love for the church, selfless sacrificial love.
And Ephesians 524 says, Ephesians 5.
I missed something here. Ephesians 524 says, therefore,
just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wise be to
their own husbands and everything a wife is designed by
God to be a picture to the world of the church's love for Christ,
a joyful, submissive love, if you want to say.
And when this happens in marriage, the world will
absolutely see a picture of the gospel.
And when we use the word gospel, we want to understand what the
gospel is. Of course, the gospel has been
is the good news that every one of us has been created by God
for relationship with God, the one true king forever.
But we have sinned against God not just in our understanding of
marriage sometimes, but in so many other ways.
We have turned from God to all kinds of sinful acts.
If you want to say we have rebelled against God and that
has deserved separation from God in our sin, But the good news is
that God loves us and he's not left us alone.
Of course, in that separation God came to us in the person of
Jesus. He is the long-awaited king in
the flesh who came to live on a perfect life and a powerful life
with no sin. And he laid down his life to pay
the price for our sin, that Jesus died on the cross to pay
the penalty for our sin against God the Father.
And the good news, of course, keeps getting better.
We know that Jesus didn't stay dead for very long.
Three days later he rose from the grave in victory over sin
and death. So that anyone anywhere who
obeys the gospel of Jesus will be forgiven of the sin that and
and brought back into a relationship with God as long as
we remain faithful to him. So to be a follower of Jesus
means that we renounce all of the gods and idols of our life
and believe that Jesus is the Son of God and be baptized for
the remissions of sins. We need to understand that God
loves us and God desires a relationship with us.
God has made it possible through Jesus to do so and when we do,
we realize that this ultimate meaning of marriage to show the
picture of the to the world. Marriage and mission are
connected because God is a design marriage for display of
the gospel. So we need to show his love to
the world through our marriages. The husband should love his wife
by laying down his life to love her, to lift her up with honor
and dignity and beauty. And we gladly submit to follow
Jesus, not because we have to because we because we love
Jesus. You know, if any husband was to
just do the things a husband ought to do because he felt they
have to, you know, he's going to get a lot of Flack from his
wife. I believe we.
I have to tell you I love you. I forgot to tell you I love you,
OK? I love you.
I have to do this, OK? It doesn't work out that way.
We know that we do things in our marriage because we love the
other one, the other spouse. That's how it's pointed to us.
You know, have we ever met a wife who didn't want to follow a
husband who selflessly and sacrificially loved her?
You know, this is how the picture.
This is this is how the picture should be shown to the world.
We as husbands, we need to realize that What's at stake,
we're representing Jesus to a watching world with the way that
we love our wives. So when we put that into
perspective, when we understand it kind of changes how we go
about our lives on a daily basis.
Husbands, if we are harsh with our wives, we will show the
world that Jesus is harsh with his people.
If we ignore our wives needs, we're telling the world that
Jesus ignores our needs. If we are unfaithful to our
wives, we are showing that the Jesus is unfaithful to us.
So we need to ask ourselves the question, what picture of Jesus
are we giving to the world with the way that we love our wives?
Similarly, wives, what picture are you giving to the world of
what it means to follow Jesus? If we just, if you disrespect
your husband, you're showing the world that Jesus is not worthy
of respect. If you do not pursue your
husband, you show the world that Jesus is not worth pursuing.
If you're unfaithful to your husband, you show the world that
Jesus is not satisfying enough for His people.
God has designed marriage for the display of the gospel, so
let's show His love to the world.
Marriage by God's definition and design is very, very important
for us to understand. This is why Jesus says what He
does in verse 6 of Matthew 19. It says therefore what God has
joined together. Let not man separate truth #2 we
want to make point of here is that God hates divorce, God
hates divorce, God created marriage, and God hates divorce.
And we're using language here that we can read in Malachi 216.
It says therefore the Lord God of Israel says that he hates
divorce, for it covers 1's garments, one's garments with
violence, says the Lord of hosts.
It makes sense to us if we think about it.
You know, if God created marriage to be the union of one
man and one woman for our good and for the display of the
gospel, then divorce fundamentally is at odds with
the definition and design because it's going against what
God designed. It's separate, making that
separation. This and this leads to the
question these Pharisees were asking Jesus about Moses and the
law of the Old Testament. The whole conversation starts
when these teachers of the law ask is it lawful for a man to
divorce one's wife for just any reason?
We see that in verse 3 of Matthew 919 and Jesus answers by
pointing to God's definition of divorce and marriage.
And then in verse 7, the Pharisees point to allowances
for divorce way back in the Old Testament where it says in
Deuteronomy 24, Moses gave instructions for certificates of
divorce. But that's when Jesus says, of
course, we see in verse 8, Moses, because of the hardness
of your heart, permitted you to divorce your wives.
But from the beginning it was not so.
In other words, divorce was not definitively God's design to
begin with. Divorce is always a result of
sin. If there was no sin in the
world, no hardness of heart, there would be no divorce.
But there is sin. We understand that.
We know that marriage is a uniting of two sinners.
When we think about it, we're all sinners.
So you have two sinners coming together in marriage.
And people wonder why so many marriages struggle.
Experts point out all kinds of problems that hinder marital
happiness. Communication problems,
compatibility problems, financial, financial problems,
sexual problems, personality problems.
You know, there's all kinds of problems.
We see them all the time. And every single situation is
unique to its own and, and we don't want to be over simplistic
here, but but the majority of problem with every single
marriage according to Scripture is clear.
The major problem in every marriage is sin.
The big problem in marriage that every husband and wife in this
church is that we are sinners. It's simple and basic, but I
think we tend to overlook it. We're imperfect people and
things happen. We go through, we can go to all
kinds of books, conferences, seminars, experts on marriage,
as long as we try externally to make things work.
If the, if the sin problem is not continually addressed in
each of our hearts and we are putting band aids on broken
limbs, you know, just the we need, we need to understand that
sin is the root of the problem with failures in marriages.
That's what Jesus is saying here.
The last place we want to look to when it comes to problems in
our marriages, of course, is within ourselves.
Jesus calls it for what it is, and it's sin.
It's the hardness of our heart that ultimately leads to divorce
and almost any marital conflict. There's obviously two sides to
the story. You know, while there are many
situations when there are more fault, fault clearly lies on one
side other than the other. The fact still remains that both
are sinners, and any divorce is a result of sin.
And this is true in two particular ways.
First, God hates divorce, and there are only a couple
exceptions where He allows it, and we'll talk about those in a
minute. But outside of these exceptions,
divorce in and of itself is a sin against God.
And it's critical for us to hear it in the culture that we Live
Today in the country that we Live Today, where the ability to
divorce is so easy. And that's all that's needed is,
is merely a statement of, you know, a simple irreconcilable
differences. And that's enough for a divorce
to happen in the state or in the country.
And while, you know, I was putting this together back a few
years ago, you can, you can go download an app, pay some money,
push a button, and that starts the process.
It's too easy. Our culture has made it too easy
to go down the road of divorce. And This is why we desperately
need to stop and ask, when does God allow divorce?
And yes, he does. God allows it.
Then secondly, even when God allows divorce, we must be aware
that of course, going through a divorce, there's a temptation to
sin while pursuing divorce, even on biblical grounds, it's
particularly strong. We could think about it.
It's very hard to go through a divorce process, even for
biblical reasons without sinning.
For example, your spouse may have committed adultery against
you. I don't presume to know the, the
hurt or the depth sense of betrayal, the emotions and, and,
and how that can turn somebody to maybe have some malicious
speech against somebody else during that period of time.
You know, the devil looks for every single opportunity he can
to take us away from God's design and what God wants us to
do. We need to make sure that we
guard against ourselves, guard ourselves against those
temptations. It's hard to do and I would
think it's actually impossible to do without Jesus.
But we need to understand that that because of sin in the
world, God designed means of divorce for a reason, so he can
walk with us through those times.
And we're very thankful for that.
He knows how it feels, and He wants to help us avoid
responding to sin with sin. Divorce is often sinful in many
ways. Truth #3 God regulates divorce.
So when is divorce non sinful not sinful?
When does God allow as a result of sin and and and the world and
the hardest of our hearts. Jesus teaches us that that God
regulates divorce and we see that here.
This means that although divorce was not part of God's design for
marriage, passages like Deuteronomy 24, which is, which
is referenced again in Matthew 19 and 1st Corinthians 7, it
makes it clear that the Bible acknowledges that there is a
reality of divorce that needs to be dealt with sometimes.
And these are not, these are regulations.
These are not suggestions. If you want to say this is not
giving God, giving us truths that are open to be added to or
taken away from by any congregation, teachers,
evangelist, counselors, lawyers, whatever you want to say.
These are not suggestions with things that can be added or
taken away. These are hardline regulations
that God gives us. God gives us in the Scripture to
potential reasons biblical grounds for divert for divorce,
one here in Matthew 19 and the other in First Corinthians 7,
Matthew 19, the grounds for divorce.
We see here we have this conversation between Jesus and
the Pharisees who are trying to trap Jesus.
It tells us that they were they were trying to trap them into
something by using a quote from Deuteronomy 24 in the Old
Testament. There were different schools of
thought in the 1st century Judaism about what might be
allowed for divorce. One school of thought believed
that a man could divorce his wife is she had committed any
type of immodest behavioral or sexual immorality.
The other school of thought, which was more dominant,
interpreted Deuteronomy 24 in a much more broader way, saying
that divorce was possible whenever a wife did anything
that displeased her husband. Then America divorce his wife.
This led to men basically divorcing their wife for just
about any reason that would that could have been what the
Pharisees were thinking when Jesus said to them, I say to
you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and
marries another, commits adultery.
So in Matthew 19, Jesus put one ground for divorce on the table,
and that is adultery. There's some debate even about
what that means because of the world, because the word for
sexual, sexual immorality that Jesus uses here is the word
pornea, which is a word that refers to all kinds of sexual
sin in the Bible. But in the context of the
passage that we're reading here today, Jesus has referred to
this as one flesh union of marriage.
And the picture seems to be of a spouse who violates that one
flesh union. And that is a serious violation.
That is a direct violation not only against the spouse, but
against God. And this exception makes sense
in the light of what Jesus has already explained when it comes
to the one flesh meaning of marriage.
Adultery in defiance of God places another person within
that union of one man and one woman.
Adultery demeans adultery shames and abandons a husband or a wife
for selfish gain and such sexual immorality.
Jesus says it is extremely serious and it is grounds for
divorce. We see stern warnings throughout
Scripture against it. There may be some here today who
in our mind have maybe a flirted with adultery, thought about
adultery, stepped an inch toward adultery or may even be on the
verge of adultery. And yes, that includes for not
viewing pornography. If adultery is anywhere near you
right now, even in the recesses of your mind in a way that have
you've tried to cover up in some way.
I want to read Proverbs 7. It describes a man wandering
after a woman who was not his wife.
Says this in Proverbs 7, starting in verse 21.
With her enticing speech she has caused him to yield.
With her flattering lips she seduced him.
Immediately he went after her. As an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow
struck his liver as a bird. As a bird hastens to the snare,
he did not know it would cost his life.
Now therefore listen to me, my children, pay attention to the
words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside
to her ways. Do not stray into her paths, for
He is. She has cast down many wounded,
and all who were slain by her were strong men.
Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of
death. Do we hear what God is saying
about adultery? And if you find yourself
flirting with that, we need to absolutely turn the other way
and run, run away from what is in front of us.
We're like a cow going to the slaughter.
It says when we're toying with adultery, Proverbs 3 or 632 says
whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding.
He does. He who does so destroys his own
stole soul. I mean, do we realize how stupid
and dumb we are when we're flirting with that?
It it, it's, it's like we're walking to our own death,
convincing ourselves that it's that it's good and we need to
run away from that. And this is the word of God.
It's being very gracious of teaching us how to deal with
this. We don't want to rationalize
with it. We need to run from it.
We don't want to flirt, flirt with it.
We want to flee from it. And in back in Matthew 19, we
noticed that Jesus does not say when adultery occurs that
divorce is certainly required, certain or required.
Instead, Jesus says divorce is permittable in that situation.
The goal here is, or I should say, the Pharisees were
searching for circumstances which it would be possible for
them to divorce. And Jesus is saying here that in
his response that we're not looking for reasons for for
divorce, we're longing for reconciliation to occur.
The goal here is not to look for the letter of the law, for a
loophole that allows divorce. That's not how we should look at
God's Word. Jesus and God, of course we see
hate divorce, so we should do all we can to keep that union
together. And his teaching in Matthew 19
comes right after right on the heels of the parable of the
unforgiving servant, if that makes any sense.
I don't think it's a coincidence.
Matthew 18 Jesus taught his disciples to forgive
extravagantly. And the implication I think is
pretty clear. We work towards reconciliation,
pray towards redemption and restoration, not because it's
easy, but because that is the heart of the gospel.
Redemption is the heart of the gospel.
It's not to make not to shame anyone or to make anyone who
feel guilty who divorces after adultery.
Jesus makes it clear here that that exception, exception is OK.
He says the same thing in Matthew 5 S Divorce is possible
after adultery, but it's not inevitable.
So how can marriage survive, survive adultery?
And the answer, I think is only by the power of the gospel.
I think only when we have Jesus on our side is that possible.
Forgiveness is only possible by the love of Christ and true
repentance. This is the love of Christ on
the cross, and this is the Christ who lives inside of us.
And we want to be. I want to be careful even here.
You know, there's so many different circumstances and so
many different lives. There are circumstances.
One spouse may commit adultery once and realize that their sin
before God and and their spouse. They confess their sin, they
hate it, they turn away from it, they make changes from it humbly
and they do everything necessary to restore that relationship
with the other spouse. We've seen that happen.
There are circumstances when a spouse is perpetually adulterous
or or sorry just because they got caught or is not turning
away from their sin and is not working to restore that trust.
When it comes to adultery, divorce is possible but is not
inevitable. Even though we're in Matthew 19.
I want to point put on the another point here, another
reason for divorce. The Bible teaches that in in
first Corinthians Chapter 7 and before we get into that I want
to clarify something First Corinthians 7 is not a patches
that we can use for grounds for divorce.
My understanding this is a passage dealing with a believing
spouse and an unbelieving spouse.
This is not dealing with two believing spouses.
It's not dealing with two Christians dealing with an
unbelieving Christian and a believing Christian.
There is no adultery present. They're the only biblical
grounds we have for divorce is what was described in Matthew
19. And this passage is stating that
if one of the spouses is an unbeliever and chooses to leave
the believing spouse, the believing spouse is free from
the divorce bondage. We cannot divorce based on the
fact that our spouse is an unbeliever.
If that unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, then that's
when we have that exception. Another circumstance where
divorce is allowed in, in First Corinthians 712 through 14 is
abandonment. It says in verse 12 of First
Corinthians 7, if any brother has a wife who does not believe
and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is
willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified, which is made holy
by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the
husband. We don't have time, of course,
to dive into all that. This passes me, but the bottom
line is that the believing spouse should not initiate
divorce from an unbelieving spouse.
That's the bottom line. But they should stay married,
working, praying, loving toward it that unbelieving spouse for
their salvation. But Paul continues to say in
verse 15, but if the unbeliever departs, let him depart.
A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.
In other words, if an unbelieving spouse chooses to
abandon a believing spouse Despite that believing spouse
love for them, then divorce is preferable in that situation.
That's what the Bible teaches us.
In other words, if we don't initiate that kind of abort of
divorce, but if it's forced upon you by abandonment from an
unbelieving spouse, it says to let him depart.
That's clearly what's taught in God's Word and here in the
Bible. We have two reasons where
divorce may occur, adultery and abandonment, and that's it.
If we have a spouse that commits adultery against this, or if an
unbelieving spouse leaves a believing spouse, those are the
only two reasons. From my understanding, any
divorce outside of these reasons taught by God's Word leads to
adultery and remarriage. There's so much more that we
could get into with these two ideas.
We don't have time. Of course, that's a topic for
another sermon or lesson. So practically speaking, the
mean that means that the non adulterous spouse in the first
exception for divorce can remarry according to these
passages. But outside of this a man or
woman is not free to remarry. Such remarriage would result in
adultery. Before we move on, I want to
briefly address one other thing that is not mentioned here
specifically but is defined definitely a mention in the
Bible and that is abuse in marriage.
We don't have time to to dive deep into all the aspects of
marriage and things that could and can't go on in a marriage
relationship, but the Bible makes it clear that any type of
abuse in marriage is an absolute sin period.
Where there be physical or verbal, any type of abuse is
specifically written against in the scriptures and is
intolerable in marriage. No spouse or child should be in
a home with someone who jeopardizes their safety.
We as a congregation, if there's any spouse in any type of that
situation, we pray that you would come to one of the one of
us so we can help in any way. I don't know if there is, but we
also, we always want to just say things like that.
So we know that we're here to help in whatever it may be.
We help each other. That's what we talked about
earlier. There are so many different
circumstances, but through law enforcement when it's necessary
as well as church discipline according to the Bible, we must
take abuse seriously when we just talk with each other and
God's Word with God's Word through how abuse effects
marriage and potentially divorce without diving, you know in more
depth there. When a spouse continues in
abuse, it becomes clear that that spouse is not actually a
follower of Christ if they continue in that sin, which may
show a picture of an abandonment that we saw in First Corinthians
7. God created marriage, God create
hates divorce, and God regulates divorce.
The reason that God is so serious in His word about how
marriage covenants with each other is is is is is so
important is because God is so serious about his marriage and
his covenant with us, with his church.
If we have gone or if you've gone through difficulties in
marriage for a variety of reasons, we need to know that as
a follower of Christ, as a part of the bride of Christ, men and
women, his bride, the body, the church.
Whether we're offended by a spouse or even if or if our
spouse offends us, for you offend our spouse.
If we have sinned, we can of course find that hope in Jesus
for reconciliation. Jesus has paved the way for us
to be forgiven of our sins. Even if the marriage covenant
was broken in the past because of your sin or your spouse's
sin, we need to know that the the ultimate marriage covenant
is still firmly intact. And when I say that, that is the
picture that our physical marriage points to, which is the
marriage of Christ in the church, that marriage will never
be separated ever. Jesus will never commit adultery
against us. He will never abandoned you.
No matter what happens, Jesus will never forsake his bride,
ever. And as as Christians, that
really is a reality to us to to us here in this building.
We are His bride and we can count on His love forever, and
that is the gospel. So what does that mean for our
lives? Know that there are all kinds of
different circumstances. I want to kind of wrap it up
with just a few general expectations that we see in
God's Word. If you are single, a brother or
sister, maximizing your singleness, we want to make sure
that you maximize that for the advance of the gospel.
It's interesting that at both Matthew 19 and 1st Corinthians
7, we see Jesus and Paul commanding singleness for the
spread of the Kingdom of God. Jesus says in verse 11 and 12
here that singleness for the sake of the Kingdom is a good
thing. Not it's not that marriage is
bad, but marriage is not best for all people.
And this is significant to hear because we sometimes have the
idea that we need to be married in order to live a complete,
full life, life for God. But that's not true.
Jesus was the most complete man we know of, the most fully human
person that we know of who was not married.
So if you're single, use it for the glory of God and use it to
pursue the spread of the gospel. Use the takeaways that we can
see in Matthew 19 to maximize that for the Kingdom of God.
If we are married, love your spouse in a way that it portrays
the gospel. Let God's Word drive us, husband
and wife, to love your spouse well today, this week, this
month, whatever it may be. Love your wives with a
sacrificial love #3 take responsibility for the glory of
Christ in our marriages. Wives, respect your husbands and
honor Christ through gracious support of his leadership in a
way that shows the world the picture of the gospel there.
I'm sure we we know of wives and husbands that could potentially
feel neglected, disrespected, uncared for, unloved, maybe
lonely some we could fill in the blank with any type of
description that we want to. We're looking at marriages
thinking and surely God didn't design it that way.
You look at those two that man live.
I don't want any part of that. There's so many things that we
can we can think about and yes, God has designed it better than
that. What we see sometimes we want to
encourage ourselves to keep our eyes fixed on him, the only one
who completely satisfy our soul draw.
We want to draw near to Jesus, seek help from the Scriptures
and, and and pray, read the word of God.
And of course, like we mentioned before, having fellowship with
one another is huge. Reaching out to a brother or
sister that when you're down and out if you want to say and and
asking for help is what we're supposed to be doing if we ever
find ourselves considering divorce.
Remember the preciousness and the power of Jesus love.
If we ever start considering divorce, we need to 1st ask
ourselves if we have biblical grounds to do so #1 if we don't,
we need to consider how, in the context of our marriage and with
the help of brothers and sisters, how that conflict can
be resolved. Then, if there is biblical
grounds for divorce, we still need to consider the
preciousness and the power of the gospel with a view towards
reconciliation in marriage. If that's possible.
It may not be possible. It's only with the power of the
gospel that it can change our lives and redeem most marriages.
If you're divorced for a biblical reason and single, we
can of course rest in Jesus's support in that just because you
get divorced under biblical grounds doesn't mean that you
have to remarry. We use that time as being single
as like we said before, driving for, for the spread of the
gospel, working towards doing all you can for God in his plan.
There's so many different circumstances like we mentioned
before, and, and I don't want to be so general, you know, So what
if this, what if that, what if, what if this happens?
Well, this and that, you know, you could get into some pretty
deep weeds and have a hard time working out of things sometime
We don't know. I don't claim to know that
they're all is there's no on this subject, but I hope we just
gain a fuller knowledge of the Bible considering this.
So parents, it's important to teach our children about the
good news of the gospel and also on the flip side, the eternal
consequences of sin. So when we're raising our
children, we we, we, we teach them that, you know, this is
what God has designed, a marriage between a man and a
woman. Any sexual activity outside of
that is sinful, period. Cut and dry.
People can say, well, yeah, this, you know, we can't twist
the word of God to help us in our situation, but teach our
kids, teach them moving forward what it takes to be a faithful
husband and faithful wife and a Christian projecting and and
showing a picture of the gospel, the marriage between Christ and
the church. It's such a beautiful picture.
A poem said something this morning that has benefited the
congregation here in some way. Of course, we must come to
Christ by hearing the word of God, believing the word of of
God, believing that Jesus is the Son of God, confessing his name,
turning away from our old way of life, going in a different
direction. Now we're going to live for
Jesus, live, live for God. And we've been we are baptized
for the remission of our sins and they were baptized into
Christ by the the immersion of water.
Maybe we've done this. We've slipped in our
faithfulness to God. Maybe we need to make a public
confession in some way or just needs the prayers of the
congregation. We ask you to come while we
stand, while we sing.