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Surely in your life. 
You've heard the adage that 

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behind every great man. 
Is a great woman that very old 

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familiar. 
Phrase has as much truth today 

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and it though as it did when it 
was one time spoken in the long 

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ago, I said last Lord's day and 
I really mean this that the 

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decisions that we make in our 
life, determine the direction of

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our life, the two greatest 
decisions we will ever make in 

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our life that determine our 
direction from a spiritual 

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perspective is when we decide to
obey the gospel and be baptized 

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into Christ to become a 
Christian. 

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And the second is who were going
to marry. 

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We talked about how important it
is to have someone that is the 

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right fit that God had have has 
intended for him or her to have 

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in the home. 
But a bad woman though can be 

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the very undoing of the very 
best man want to give you a 

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couple of couple examples. 
I'll not go into great detail 

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about these. 
But I thought about these this 

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week I thought about a man that 
was one of the mightiest men in 

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all the Bible. 
I thought about Samson, I 

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thought about Delilah and I 
thought about her influence that

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she had overhead. 
I don't know how many times that

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she went back to him and asked 
him where in does thy strength 

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lie, or we can almost Picture in
Our Minds Eye and almost hear 

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the tone that she's begging him.
Tell me, why are you so strong? 

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And finally, she weakened him 
and she wore him down and he 

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said no, razor has ever come to 
my head? 

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He said, if I shall shave the 7 
lakhs of my head, I shall be as 

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all other men are we know the 
story, he sleeps on her lap. 

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His head is shaved and then all 
of a sudden, she cries out 

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before like, she had done and 
she says the spillage Sting's be

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upon thee Sampson. 
What did Simpson say? 

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He arose. 
He said it shall be as it always

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has been before. 
He said, I shall shake myself 

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and he believed that God would 
be with him. 

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But then the very sad words in 
the Bible which says, but he 

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knew not that the Lord was 
departed from him. 

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That's an example of a man. 
That's probably the mightiest of

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all and he was brought down by 
the influence of the wrong 

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woman. 
How about another one? 

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But another example of this, I 
think about the wisest man that 

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ever lived. 
Save Jesus Christ. 

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You know right now who I'm 
talking about? 

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And you know, save Jesus Christ 
is the wisest man that ever 

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lived. 
You would think that he would 

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have made better decisions. 
We're talking about the wise men

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of old Solomon. 
The Bible says he had 700 wives 

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and 300 concubines, and do you 
remember where they came from? 

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They came from all the nations 
that God said, don't go out 

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there and don't intermarry with 
them. 

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You see if I can remember them 
all, the ammonites the moabites,

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the edomites, the hid types, and
the sidonians, all of these ER 

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places where God said, do not go
out and intermarry with them. 

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He chose all of his women from 
people that were not the people 

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of God. 
And what did the Bible say? 

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They turned his heart. 
If you don't think that the 

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right woman makes a difference 
in your life, you're sadly 

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mistaken. 
You are sadly mistaken. 

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You know, there's a story told 
one time I gave this story to 

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you 10 years ago, if you 
remember it, it's then it's a 

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great story and if you don't 
remember it you need to hear it.

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But there's a story told that 
really fits this about the 

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importance of having the right 
wife. 

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Story told about a CEO of rather
large corporation and he got in 

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the car. 
One day with his lovely wife, 

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and they're driving the very 
expensive car down the freeway. 

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He looks down, and he realizes 
that he needs gas. 

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So he pulls off the exit, there 
pulls up to the pump there to 

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gas station, jumps out, he barks
out a couple orders to the gas 

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station to tend it. 
And then he goes inside to the 

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little mini Mark there. 
And while he's in there, he 

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looks out and he can't help, but
notice that his wife Is having a

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rather animated conversation 
with the gas station attendant 

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and he's looking out perplexed 
by that and he said he's 

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thinking in his mind. 
Well, how odd is that? 

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But after a while, the gas was 
finished, the tank was full. 

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He paid his bill, he goes out to
the car, he jumps into the car, 

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he shuts the door and there they
went. 

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And as they're driving along, he
says to his wife, he said, 

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honey, I just couldn't help, but
notice that you were having a 

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rather animated conversation 
with that gas station attendant.

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Did you know him? 
And she said, yeah, we went to 

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the same high school and he 
said, oh, I get it a classmate, 

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perhaps an acquaintance. 
And she said, no, actually 

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really we dated rather 
extensively in fact at one point

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we were very serious and this is
what he said. 

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He said, oh honey, I am so 
thankful I'm so happy for you 

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and she said well why is that? 
I'm so happy that I came along 

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or you might have been the wife 
of a gas station attendant 

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instead of the wife of a CEO 
like me to which she replied 

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make no mistake about it honey. 
If I married him, he'd have been

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the CEO and you'd have been the 
gas station attendant. 

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I'm going to tell you, it's the 
truth. 

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Who you marry is everything. 
When I think about great women 

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in the Bible, I think about 
Hannah, the mother of Samuel, I 

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think about the kind of support 
the loving support that she gave

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to her husband elkanah. 
Mix all the different difference

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in the world. 
Well, especially true is the 

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wife of an elder and a deacon. 
And I will tell you this, 

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there's times in the life of an 
elder and a deacon regarding his

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work, when things get very, very
lonely. 

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Sometimes people that are in 
positions of Authority or not 

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really Authority. 
But leadership, let me just say 

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it that way positions of 
leadership often times 

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Standalone when they have to do 
things and when they have to 

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help do things that are For call
sometimes that's very hard and 

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sometimes it's very, very 
lonely. 

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Now, I can't even imagine going 
through some of those kind of 

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things without a supportive 
wife. 

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If a wife is not supportive of 
her husband in the work, he will

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not be successful in that work. 
Now, how many times do we preach

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about the elders? 
And the deacons regarding their 

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qualifications? 
I will tell you this, I've been 

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a Christian for 40 years. 
Now, I'm not saying it never 

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happened. 
I'm just saying, I cannot 

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remember one time, I've been a 
Christian for 40 years and I 

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have never to my recollection, 
heard a sermon that was specific

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to the qualifications of the 
wife of an elder or a deacon, we

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focus on the Elder in the 
Deacon. 

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And sometimes we neglect to talk
about the wife, the Elder, and 

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the deacons wife. 
Well, first of all, by way of 

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qualifications, how important 
are they? 

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You can't be an elder or a 
deacon without having a wife. 

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In fact, it's part of their 
qualifications. 

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It's part of the requirements. 
You have to be the husband of 

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one wife. 
Remember, we talked about this, 

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the husband of one wife, that 
means that you have to be a 

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one-woman man. 
Now, if being the husband of one

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wife means that you can't have 
more than one. 

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Then does it also mean that you 
can't have less than 1? 

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Why certainly you have to be 
married to have the office of an

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elder or a deacon. 
I think sometimes maybe we have 

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neglected encourage our young 
ladies to grow up and be the 

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kind of people that they need to
be in the home sometimes we talk

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about their motherly 
requirements, but think about 

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the things that they can do to 
help support their husband, be 

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the greatest positions in the E 
of Christ to that is an elder or

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a deacon. 
Now, first of all, let me say. 

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As important as her role is, as 
important as her role is, the 

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Bible does not authorize her to 
have a position of leadership in

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the body of Christ. 
In other words, one man said 

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that being the wife of an elder 
or a deacon carries with it. 

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Get this no significance. 
Other than the fact that she 

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will be held to a higher 
standard than other women. 

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Right? 
Wrong or indifferent. 

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That's just the way that it is. 
It's kind of like a preacher's 

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wife. 
You're in a fishbowl. 

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In other words, your life is out
there to be exposed and to be 

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viewed by other people. 
But she doesn't have a 

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leadership role with somebody 
might say, well, what about the 

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word Deaconess? 
What about that? 

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What's the word? 
Deaconess? 

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Me. 
Well, first of all, remember 

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this, that sometimes words have 
various meanings of multiple 

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meanings. 
Let's talk about that for just a

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minute. 
Some people say that when you 

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talk about a Deaconess, she has 
a position of leadership because

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the first Timothy chapter 3 and 
verse 11. 

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But this is talking about the 
wives of Elders, and deacons, 

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and not the position that the 
wife or the woman would hold. 

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Furthermore, sometimes in Romans
chapter 16 and verse one. 

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That's misunderstood where the 
Bible says, I commend unto you. 

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Phoebe, our sister, which is a 
servant of the church, which is 

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in sin Crea. 
All right, now, the word servant

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in that passage is the Greek 
word diet Conan. 

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And that word is translated in 
some translations as Deaconess. 

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So sometimes people say, well 
you see, we have deaconesses to 

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and they're just like a deacon, 
the footnotes often times 

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translate that as Deacon ifs but
there's no office in the church 

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that is given to the woman in 
the New Testament. 

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That's an assumption that needs 
to be proved. 

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Now, let's talk about the Greek 
word for Servant. 

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Do you ever in Colossians 
chapter, 1, Paul deals with the 

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man? 
Epaphras in fact, he is 

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associated with the church in 
colossae, and he's called a 

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servant. 
That word servant is the same 

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word. 
That's translated Deaconess in. 

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Romans in the Book of Romans, 
it's the word diaconate Conan. 

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And it just simply means 
servant, but nowhere is epaphras

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called a deacon. 
Sometimes die Conan is Slated as

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minister, in fact, in two 
places, it's used in 1st Timothy

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chapter 4 and verse 6. 
Paul calls. 

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Timothy a minister, it's the 
word diet Conan. 

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Now Timothy, was associated with
the church in Ephesus, but he 

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was not a deacon. 
One more passage in John, 

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chapter 12 and verse 26. 
A faithful Christian is called a

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servant die a Kona. 
What's my point? 

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My point is sometimes words have
dual or multiple meanings Daya 

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Conan is translated as a 
servant. 

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It is translated as Deaconess it
is translated as Minister. 

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It is translated in all of those
English words but we understand 

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that we understand that words 
can have a dual meaning. 

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In fact let's look at the word 
Elder the word Elder in general 

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just simply Means one that is 
older, and that could be, that 

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could be a man or a woman. 
Have you ever said, respect your

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elders? 
What are you talking about? 

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You talking about the people 
that are older than you and are 

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in a position perhaps of Honor 
or position of authority. 

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We respect our elders in a 
general sent an elder. 

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Simply is somebody that is older
whether it's a man or a woman, 

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all right? 
But in an official sense, it's a

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ruler. 
It's an overseer and it is Only 

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given to the man. 
The same is true with servant in

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a general, meaning it applies to
any service without special 

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office included. 
But as one commentator said, in 

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the official sense or limited 
sense, it means an office or a 

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work of a special nature in the 
church that carries certain 

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qualifications. 
All right. 

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Women. 
May do many tasks in the church.

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And women within their role can 
be very useful in the work. 

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The Apostle. 
Paul wrote about that in 

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Philippians. 
Chapter 4 and verse 3. 

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He said and I urge you also True
Companion, help these women 

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notice what he says who labored 
with me in the gospel. 

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In other words, they were part 
of the work. 

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So again, the women do many 
tasks even under the direction 

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of Elders. 
But it doesn't necessarily 

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constitute a position in the 
church. 

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All right. 
Now, let's talk about some 

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qualifications qualifications of
the wives of Elders and deacons.

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There are four things that we're
going to notice. 

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Now first, I want to notice some
erroneous attitudes, When we 

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talk about erroneous attitudes, 
we are talking about something 

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that is false and believe it or 
not I'm going to notice three of

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them with you right now and all 
three are actually positions 

225
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that people actually take these 
are actually views or actually 

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things people believe here's the
first erroneous opinion or 

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attitude about a woman and her 
qualifications to be the wife of

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an elder or a deacon. 
Here's number one. 

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That all of the Bible 
qualifications are for the group

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00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:29,200
of wives, rather than just for 
one woman makes plain. 

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00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,700
That that's the belief that some
actually believe that what that 

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00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:37,800
means is, as long as the 
collective group of wives, fit 

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all the qualifications that Paul
was talking about 2 Timothy. 

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Then that's okay. 
That's an erroneous position. 

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00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,400
It's an erroneous attitude, 
that's not true. 

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00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:51,300
Here's the second one. 
All the qualifications are 

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flexible and not absolute. 
You know, that's kind of like 

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calling the Ten Commandments, 
the ten suggestions it really 

239
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is. 
If these things are not absolute

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than nothing, in the Bible is 
absolute. 

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00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:13,900
Do you remember when we talked 
about the qualifications of an 

242
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elder? 
It's an elder must be these 

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things. 
The same is true with the wife 

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of an elder. 
Second erroneous attitude is all

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the qualifications are flexible 
and not absolute. 

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00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,800
Here's the third one. 
It's okay to appoint the man. 

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00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:36,600
Regardless of the wife's 
requirements, or whether she has

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met the qualifications or not 
folks, these are things once 

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00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:45,400
again that are erroneous, they 
disagree guard, the authority of

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00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,100
the Bible and disregards, the 
authority of the Lord. 

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00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,400
Because all these things have 
been given to us specifically 

252
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,900
regarding regarding their 
qualifications. 

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And if a man is disqualified 
because of his wife, God will 

254
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,100
not lower the standard just to 
accommodate her. 

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00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,000
All right, let's talk about 
something positive. 

256
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,600
Let's talk about some proper 
attitudes toward these 

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00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,100
qualifications. 
Here's some proper attitudes. 

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00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:15,500
Number one. 
The qualifications. 

259
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,900
I hope you get this. 
The qualification is do not 

260
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:27,200
demand a perfect sinless woman. 
You know what you're going to 

261
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,200
find? 
I hope. 

262
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,400
I hope what we're all going to 
find when we're done here today.

263
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:38,100
Is there's not one thing that is
unreasonable about the 

264
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:42,300
qualifications. 
And do you know that every one 

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00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:45,200
of these applies to every single
Christian? 

266
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,500
There's only four qualifications
here by the way and they fit 

267
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:52,700
every Christian. 
So one of the qualifications for

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00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:56,100
an elder, a deacons wife, here's
a great attitude about it, it 

269
00:16:56,100 --> 00:17:00,100
doesn't demand a perfect sinless
wife because there is no such 

270
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:02,000
thing. 
Here's another one, here's 

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00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:06,300
another proper attitude. 
All of the qualifications are 

272
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:09,599
essential every one of them, you
can't eliminate that. 

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00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,900
Here's number three. 
Re the qualifications must be 

274
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,599
developed before the 
appointment. 

275
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:21,099
In other words, a wife of an 
elder or a deacon that's about 

276
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:24,400
to be installed. 
She has to have all the 

277
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,500
qualities, all the 
qualifications before he's 

278
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:32,200
installed, just like the man has
to have all the qualifications 

279
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:37,700
before he can be recognized in 
that position of an elder. 

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00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:43,300
All right, there are four 
important qualities that we want

281
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:46,300
to notice today, for important 
qualities. 

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00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,900
And I want to call it qualities 
because really, that's what they

283
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,600
are their characteristics or 
qualities. 

284
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,700
We want to notice what they are 
at this time. 

285
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,000
First one is in the new King 
James, it just simply says 

286
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,400
reverent and the King James it 
just says grave, and it means 

287
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,300
this. 
It means to be prudent 

288
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:14,100
appropriate dignified, quiet and
of sound judgment. 

289
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,400
One commentator said this. 
This is a woman that is not 

290
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,700
giddy nor foolish, this is a 
woman, whereas some translations

291
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:26,800
render this worthy of respect. 
I want to make a point about 

292
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,600
that. 
It doesn't mean sad. 

293
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,400
It doesn't mean you can't have 
any fun. 

294
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,900
It doesn't mean you can't laugh.
It doesn't mean you can't have 

295
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,000
joy. 
And by the way, let me just make

296
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,200
a little side point here. 
Sometimes, people think that 

297
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:50,500
Christians are to be so serious.
All the time, it's can't have 

298
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,900
any fun. 
You can't laugh. 

299
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,500
You know that that doesn't even 
fit at all, anything that that 

300
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,600
the New Testament teaches. 
And it certainly doesn't fit 

301
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,600
what Paul talked about. 
Paul talked about having Joy 

302
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:05,800
Paul talking about rejoicing and
I'm going to tell you if anybody

303
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,200
could give such advice, it was 
Paul terrible. 

304
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,200
Things were happening to him in 
his life but if for example in 

305
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:15,700
the book of Philippians, the 
entire theme is Rejoice. 

306
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:20,000
Rejoice rejoice. 
So when we say that a person is 

307
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,500
quiet and have sound judgment 
and dignified, it doesn't mean 

308
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,100
that she's not having any fun. 
Didn't mean that at all. 

309
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,200
I like this though. 
I like as one translation 

310
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,400
renders it she is a Woman by the
way that she lives, by the way 

311
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:40,000
that she behaves by her example,
she is one that is worthy of 

312
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:45,300
respect. 
Have you ever heard the term? 

313
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:54,200
Respect is earned We can demand.
That somebody respects us. 

314
00:19:55,300 --> 00:20:00,400
But that's rather shallow. 
Respect is earned and we command

315
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:06,100
that by our actions. 
This is the example of a woman 

316
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:10,100
that by her actions, she's 
worthy of respect. 

317
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,000
Now, there's one way that she 
can do that too. 

318
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,800
And First Timothy Chapter 2 
beginning in verse 9, In like 

319
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,300
manner. 
Also, this is the way she 

320
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,600
dresses. 
The woman Adorn themselves in 

321
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,700
modest apparel with propriety 
and moderation. 

322
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:28,500
Not with broided hair or gold, 
or pearls or costly clothing but

323
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:31,500
which is proper for women, 
professing godliness, and good 

324
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:35,100
works. 
Now, Several of you were not 

325
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,500
here last Lord's day. 
I'm going to make a really quick

326
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,800
point about this. 
This does not mean that a woman 

327
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,100
cannot braid her hair, it's not 
what that means at all. 

328
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,000
What it's referring to is 
referring to a time or a custom.

329
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,400
When women to attract the 
opposite sex, what they would do

330
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:57,300
to stand out, they would take 
gold and silver and pearls and 

331
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:59,100
they would weave it into their 
hair. 

332
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,200
They would roast their hair to 
the moon in the front, to 

333
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,900
attract others. 
What else? 

334
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,600
Also about what they wear and 
fine apparel. 

335
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,900
This does not mean that you 
can't wear a beautiful dress, 

336
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,900
that's expensive that mean that 
at all. 

337
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,600
In fact there's two words for 
clothing one. 

338
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,100
You remember is the clothing 
that we wear to cover and 

339
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:25,600
protect our bodies. 
And all of us are wearing that 

340
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:31,100
right now, Peter was not 
condemning a nice suit or a nice

341
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:34,500
dress on a lady, he wasn't 
condemning that they cost a lot 

342
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,700
of money. 
What he was talking about is the

343
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,100
Other word for clothing or 
apparel. 

344
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,700
And it's the one that was used 
as an ornament. 

345
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,200
They would take these costly 
ornaments that were some sort of

346
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:50,100
material and wrapped himself up 
in it to stand out. 

347
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,100
And Peter says, don't let it be 
that. 

348
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,000
Let it be the hidden person of 
the heart that attracts other 

349
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,700
people. 
So what are we talking about 

350
00:21:58,700 --> 00:21:59,900
here? 
We're talking about not 

351
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:04,600
necessarily what a person wears 
in 1st Timothy 2:9 and 10 we are

352
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,400
talking about something that is 
from the inside. 

353
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,300
We're talking about something 
that is by her example and a 

354
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,100
grave in a reverent person 
votes. 

355
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,200
Please get. 
This is not one that is severe 

356
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:18,900
Stern. 
Unhappy. 

357
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,300
She did have cheese admired by 
all and she's not one that looks

358
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,500
like she just ate a great big 
bowl of prunes. 

359
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:31,700
I got to say it. 
Priest on this and Walnut Grove 

360
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:36,600
Kentucky. 
I'm going to tell you right now.

361
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,500
The Christian Life, please hear 
me. 

362
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:47,100
Is the best life in the world. 
And it's the happiest life, too.

363
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,200
Don't walk around like you're 
miserable because you're a 

364
00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:57,000
Christian. 
It is the best life. 

365
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,100
Even if this came up in a 
private bible, study this last 

366
00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:05,600
week, even if there was nothing 
after this life. 

367
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,800
And even though Paul said, if 
there's nothing after this life,

368
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,300
we are of all men, most 
miserable. 

369
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:13,000
I get that, I understand that. 
If there is no hope, let's just 

370
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:17,000
talk about the life. 
If you live the life, like a 

371
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,300
Christian lives, his or her 
life. 

372
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,800
It's the best life in the world.
You know what? 

373
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,500
You'd be, you'd be a better 
person. 

374
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:26,300
You'd be a better employee. 
You'd be a better employer. 

375
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:29,500
You would be a better husband. 
Father, you'd be a better. 

376
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,300
Everything. 
It's the best life. 

377
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:38,600
So enjoy it and live it with joy
and rejoice. 

378
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:44,200
That we have everlasting life. 
Now here's a second one, though.

379
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,700
She's to be reverent or grave, 
that's true. 

380
00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:50,700
But she's also not to be a 
slanderer. 

381
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:54,500
Now there's all kinds of 
definitions of being a 

382
00:23:54,508 --> 00:23:58,300
slanderer. 
Sometimes when we talk about 

383
00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:02,100
somebody being a slanderer, we 
talk about somebody that is 

384
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:05,100
running somebody down in a 
falsehood in a falsity or a 

385
00:24:05,108 --> 00:24:09,400
falsehood or using false words 
about somebody else, slandering 

386
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,800
their good name. 
But you know what's interesting 

387
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,600
about this and if you want to 
know why it is a sin, it is a 

388
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,100
sin. 
It is a sin, not just for the 

389
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,300
wife of an elder and Deacon but 
every Christian watch this. 

390
00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:26,400
It actually means the audible 
form of malice. 

391
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,200
Yes, it's the audible form of 
what the Lord says. 

392
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,700
We're not to be we're not to be 
guilty of, we're not to be 

393
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:37,000
guilty of malice, we're not to 
allow those things to burn in 

394
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,500
our hearts. 
A slanderer is an audible form 

395
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,200
of malice. 
So what are we learning from 

396
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,400
Paul? 
We're learning that this woman 

397
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:51,100
to be an elder or deacons wife 
cannot be guilty of being a 

398
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:57,000
slanderer. 
Now I got to tell you Can you 

399
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:01,700
just imagine? 
can you just imagine I can't 

400
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:06,200
even fathom and really we hold 
certain people to higher 

401
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,300
standards and we shouldn't we 
shouldn't but if you think about

402
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:13,400
an elder and deacons wife, that 
would be guilty of Gossip or 

403
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:20,300
backbiting, Or being a busybody.
Can't you see how that would 

404
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:23,600
destroy the work? 
Can't you see how it would 

405
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,900
destroy her husband's 
reputation? 

406
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,100
Can't you see how a bring a 
terrible name on to her family? 

407
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,400
All those things. 
But again, I'm not just talking 

408
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,900
to elders and deacons wives. 
The Bible talks about these 

409
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:43,400
things for every single, 
Christian, James three, and five

410
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,000
says this even. 
So, the tongue is a little 

411
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,200
member and boasts great things. 
See how great a force, a little 

412
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,900
fire Kindles first Peter 3 and 
10. 

413
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:58,900
Listen to this for he who would 
love life and see good days. 

414
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:03,100
Let him refrain his tongue from 
from Evil and his lips from 

415
00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:07,200
speaking guile. 
Here's another thing too, by the

416
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:12,100
way, Elder, and Deacon elders. 
And deacons have sensitive 

417
00:26:12,900 --> 00:26:17,100
information about people in the 
congregation That's the truth. 

418
00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:22,200
And there's a lot of times when 
an elder or and a deacon sits 

419
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,500
down with someone and know some 
very sensitive information about

420
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,600
another member. 
Okay, she can't be such that. 

421
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,200
She gets that information and 
tells other people about it. 

422
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:34,500
I want to tell you a little 
story. 

423
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,400
I want to tell you a story. 
I know a brother who was working

424
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:45,000
with a congregation to ordain 
Elders in the future of this 

425
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,700
particular congregation. 
And there were some sensitive 

426
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:50,900
information that was told to the
preacher. 

427
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,500
In fact, it was actually given 
an email. 

428
00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:57,500
I appreciate his wife. 
So very much, you know, she 

429
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:01,000
said, I didn't want to hear it. 
I don't want to know, I don't 

430
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,600
even want to know what the 
sensitive information is. 

431
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,200
That's the proper heart that's 
the proper attitude. 

432
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:12,700
That a wife should have not one 
that is guilty of being a 

433
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,700
slanderer backbiters tail Bears.
They're dangerous both to 

434
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:19,300
themselves and to the church 
Proverbs 18 and 8. 

435
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,200
The words of a talebearer are 
like tasty rifles and they go 

436
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,500
down into the inmost body. 
Proverbs twenty six and twenty 

437
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,900
where there is no wood. 
The fire goes out and where 

438
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:36,700
there is no talebearer The 
Strife ceases now, Obviously, 

439
00:27:36,700 --> 00:27:40,500
nobody should be involved in 
having, or being guilty of this 

440
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,700
sin, but then there's a third 
one, and that's to be temperate.

441
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,300
And to be sober. 
Now, interesting about the word 

442
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:54,000
sober, it actually means being 
of sound, mind, self-controlled 

443
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:59,400
and sober-minded, it's the same 
idea that we talked about when 

444
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,800
we talked about elders and 
deacons actually just with 

445
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,900
elves. 
I believe we made the the point 

446
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:10,500
about What this means is it's 
the idea of being in control in 

447
00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:15,300
both your premeditated actions 
and your non premeditated 

448
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:20,200
reactions. 
Now, it's one thing, it's one 

449
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,800
thing to think about what you're
going to say and to think about 

450
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,900
what you're going to do in 
advance because of an action. 

451
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:29,600
That's one thing. 
What's really hard though is not

452
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:34,500
becoming reactionary and 
reacting in a sinful way or a 

453
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:37,300
hot-headed way. 
Sometimes that's hard to do, 

454
00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:40,400
sometimes we say things. 
And then we regret that we said 

455
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,800
them as soon as they flew out of
their mouth. 

456
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,600
I don't know about you, but 
that's happened to me. 

457
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:48,300
That's what the Bible is 
talking. 

458
00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:52,000
About being slow to speak. 
In my life. 

459
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,500
I've always been one of those 
faster speakers and what happens

460
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:58,600
is when you do that without 
sitting down and sifting through

461
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:03,000
it all sometimes you say and do 
things that you wish you had not

462
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:09,000
done and you regret them later. 
A temperate or sober person is 

463
00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:12,900
somebody that is of sound mind 
and they're in control. 

464
00:29:12,900 --> 00:29:16,200
Can't you see all this deals 
with what's on the inside? 

465
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,100
And then therefore, it is 
manifested on the outside. 

466
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,700
This is a person. 
That is under control. 

467
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:28,300
One commentator said, this is a 
person that is not only 

468
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:33,300
self-controlled, but she is also
Spirit control. 

469
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,900
She's calm on the outside 
because she's calm on the 

470
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:42,300
inside. in that the life of 
every Christian, though, If 

471
00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:47,600
people are struggling today, as 
Christians with a particular 

472
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,600
sin, the people are struggling 
with sin on the outside, you 

473
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:56,400
know, realized the problem is 
not the outside, the problem is 

474
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,900
what's on the inside. 
So in our Christian lives, we 

475
00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:01,800
have to fix what's on the 
inside. 

476
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:06,000
And then we will fix it on the 
outside if we keep losing 

477
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,900
control, for example, on the 
outside, it's because we are not

478
00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:13,700
under control on the inside. 
We haven't put ourself in 

479
00:30:13,700 --> 00:30:16,300
subjection yet. 
We haven't done that on the 

480
00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:19,600
inside. 
If we do that on the inside, it 

481
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,400
will manifest itself in the 
proper ways. 

482
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,100
And that's when Jesus talked 
about, when he talked about, 

483
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:27,800
it's not just the action, it's 
the heart. 

484
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,300
Fix the heart. 
Fix it on the inside. 

485
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:38,100
You know, I think that these 
wives are that we're talking 

486
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:41,700
about today are those that I 
would fit that would fit some 

487
00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:44,200
great examples of First Peter 
1:13. 

488
00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,300
And again, this is not 
unreasonable. 

489
00:30:46,300 --> 00:30:49,600
This is a matter of holding 
oneself in, not being frivolous 

490
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,100
and not being irresponsible 
First Peter 1 and 13. 

491
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,400
Therefore gird their loins of 
your mind. 

492
00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:58,300
Be sober. 
I'm not going into this passage.

493
00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:00,800
We've done that before. 
Want to make one point though. 

494
00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:04,800
We understand that girding, the 
loins of your mind is to prepare

495
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,900
your minds for Action. 
We know that then the word 

496
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:13,300
sober, their means circumspect, 
and that word means to evaluate 

497
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:17,500
every possible circumstance of 
your decisions before you make 

498
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:21,200
the choice. 
This woman here. 

499
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,900
This sister here. 
This wife here is someone that's

500
00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:27,600
an example of one that does 
that. 

501
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:33,300
As Peter said in First, Peter 1 
and 13, a lack of soberness. 

502
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:36,200
On the part of wise will be a 
bad influence on their husbands,

503
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,800
their children and the 
congregation that they are a 

504
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,800
member of. 
But finally, here's another one.

505
00:31:44,300 --> 00:31:47,300
She must be faithful in all 
things. 

506
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,600
Now Do you remember when we 
studied about faithful children?

507
00:31:55,100 --> 00:32:00,100
Faithful means by definition 
trustworthy. 

508
00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:08,200
Now, faithful children means 
faithful to the Lord. 

509
00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:12,300
That's what that means. 
It doesn't mean as some 

510
00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:15,000
commentators would say, means 
faithful to their father, know 

511
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,800
what I mean at all. 
It means faithful to the Lord. 

512
00:32:18,700 --> 00:32:22,700
So, faithful children means 
faithful, Christians, and 

513
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:27,600
regardless of how many children 
a man has, he must have all of 

514
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:32,200
them as faithful Christians? 
But you know what's amazing 

515
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,100
about this. 
When we talk about the 

516
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:39,500
qualifications of an elder or 
deacons wife get this, now, she 

517
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:44,600
is to be faithful in all things.
Now, what's that? 

518
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:49,400
Mean she's to be faithful in all
things. 

519
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:54,100
The wives of Elders, and deacons
must be faithful to God, in all 

520
00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:58,400
their relationships in life as a
Christian. 

521
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,900
One commentator said that a 
great lesson here is that wives 

522
00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:06,800
of Elders and deacons can help 
their husbands and the church 

523
00:33:06,900 --> 00:33:11,000
beyond measure by always being 
discreet and being diligent. 

524
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,800
So what does it really mean to 
be faithful? 

525
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,300
In all things? 
Here it is. 

526
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:19,100
Barnes says this, when he's 
talking about faithful in all 

527
00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:22,200
things, he means faithful to her
husband. 

528
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,500
Faithful to her family. 
Faithful to the church and 

529
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:31,800
faithful to the savior. 
Okay, I got to ask you. 

530
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,300
Got to ask you. 
Which one of those things. 

531
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:42,800
Doesn't apply. 
To every Christian. 

532
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,800
Accept the simple ones, being 
faithful to her husband. 

533
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,400
Or family in terms of whether 
she's married or not. 

534
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:58,700
Every Christian needs to be 
prudent. 

535
00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:02,500
Every Christian needs to be of 
sound judgment. 

536
00:34:02,700 --> 00:34:05,300
Every Christian needs to be 
someone that is worthy of 

537
00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:09,500
respect, because the life that 
they live every Christian, no 

538
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:13,000
Christian should be guilty of 
being a slanderer backbiting 

539
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,400
whispering. 
Nobody should do that. 

540
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,600
What about this being of sound 
mind and evaluating all of your 

541
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,600
circumstances before you make 
the choices? 

542
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:25,000
That's every Christian first. 
Peter 1:13 says that and being 

543
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,400
faithful or trustworthy in every
relationship that we have in 

544
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,000
life. 
What am I saying that for? 

545
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,199
I'm saying that none of the 
qualifications that we've 

546
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:38,699
noticed to be the wife of an 
elder, or a deacon, is 

547
00:34:38,699 --> 00:34:43,600
unreasonable at all or really 
something that is not attainable

548
00:34:44,300 --> 00:34:49,100
it is. 
In closing this morning, it's 

549
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:51,900
certainly true. 
That a virtuous woman's price is

550
00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:54,900
far above rubies, proverbs 31 
and 10. 

551
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:59,200
And I realize also that an elder
and a deacon who has a good 

552
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,200
wife, has a great asset to the 
work. 

553
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:07,500
Proverbs 18:22 says he who finds
a wife, get this finds a good 

554
00:35:07,500 --> 00:35:10,400
thing and obtains favor from the
Lord. 

555
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:15,200
Let's do this, shall we? 
Do you remember when we started 

556
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,700
this entire series? 
We talked about why don't we 

557
00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:22,200
have Elders today? 
And why was it so that they had 

558
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,600
Elders in every city? 
And why did Paul say to Titus 

559
00:35:25,900 --> 00:35:30,700
ordain Elders in every city? 
Meaning every Church in every 

560
00:35:30,700 --> 00:35:34,800
city? 
Why why were they able to do 

561
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,800
that simple? 
Not by divine revelation, not by

562
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:44,300
Divine help. 
These men were qualified they 

563
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:48,000
were spiritually minded men. 
They had been reared in their 

564
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:52,400
ancestry in the ways of the Old 
Law, they didn't have very far 

565
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:56,200
to go when it met them being 
Godly, they were spiritually 

566
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,300
minded men and that's the key. 
If we're going to have elders 

567
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:04,500
and deacons in the future, in 
the Lord's Church, it has to be 

568
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:08,600
that we set it up when we are 
young to prepare our minds to be

569
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,300
that in the future someday 
spiritually. 

570
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:15,100
Did and have the desire. 
The desire to be an elder. 

571
00:36:15,100 --> 00:36:19,800
One day. 
But can you imagine if we have 

572
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,500
young men that had the 
Asperger's aspirations of doing 

573
00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:27,300
that and they do that and plan 
for that and we've got young 

574
00:36:27,300 --> 00:36:31,800
women that are also wanting to 
be the wives of such men. 

575
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:35,200
Don't you think they can 
encourage those young men to be 

576
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,500
all that they could be. 
I'm going to tell you the right 

577
00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:40,000
wife will help you be more than 
you ever dreamed. 

578
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,200
You ever could. 
Period. 

579
00:36:45,300 --> 00:36:49,400
And then the flip side. 
As we noticed, it could be the 

580
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,100
undoing of even the greatest 
name. 

581
00:36:52,700 --> 00:36:55,300
We thank you for listening to 
our podcast, put on by the 

582
00:36:55,300 --> 00:37:01,100
Church of Christ at 22:15 plans.
Road in Bakersfield, if you 

583
00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:04,300
would like any additional 
information or you would like to

584
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:07,300
receive a free Bible 
correspondence, course by mail. 

585
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,800
Please email us at info at True 
Church of Christ 

586
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,800
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Our service times are on Sundays

587
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:21,400
at 10:30 a.m. and 5 p.m. and 
Wednesdays at 7:30 p.m. 

588
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,500
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We would love for you to be our 

589
00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:26,400
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