1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,800 To give somebody a high 5A hug. Come on, tell them God is good, 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,760 God is good. Come on everybody. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:12,120 Welcome to Next Level Church. We're so thankful you're here 4 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:14,760 today on this holiday weekend. My name is Pastor Josh. 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,760 I'm one of our executive pastors and also on our teaching team. 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,840 And we are so thankful that you would choose to spend this 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,200 weekend with us. Hey, I want to welcome in all of 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,720 our locations around here, Next Level Church. 9 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,240 We say that we're one house with multiple rooms. 10 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,080 So I want to welcome in our E location. 11 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,800 Come on Pastor Willie, we're so thankful you're back downtown 12 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,040 location Cape Coral here at Fort Myers, everybody watching 13 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:35,520 online. Come on. 14 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,800 Would you guys give it up for all the people who are watching 15 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,400 in another room today that make up next level church, we're so 16 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,360 thankful for you. Speaking of thankful, I'm so 17 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,480 thankful for our pastors. Pastor Matt and Sarah Keller, 18 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,680 our Co lead pastors been my pastors my entire life and I'm 19 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,400 so thankful for you. I'm thankful for the way that 20 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,000 you've pastored my life, my marriage, our kids and our 21 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,440 church. We're just so thankful for you. 22 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,480 Come on, would you honor our pastors today? 23 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:02,680 Just so thankful for you. And Speaking of our pastors, 24 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,840 Pastor Matt did an incredible job to kick off a brand new 25 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,600 series. Come on, brand new series. 26 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,840 Help. Relationships are hard. 27 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,320 Can I get an Amen, everybody, come on, Amen. 28 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,920 What a great, great kickoff last week. 29 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,600 And I am so thankful that this week we get to jump into Part 2 30 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,360 of this series and I get to talk about marriages. 31 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,680 Come on, they gave me the easy one. 32 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,120 Everybody come on, they gave me the easy 1. 33 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,080 And I just want to encourage you listen, if you're married in the 34 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,760 room in any room watching right now, I just hope that your 35 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,160 hearts would be open. But also as I was praying for 36 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,280 this message, I was preparing really felt the Holy Spirit said 37 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,840 that this message is not just for married couples. 38 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,040 This is for singles as well. Come on, all the married people 39 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,280 in every room would say, I wish that I heard this message before 40 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,840 I got married. Come on, everybody. 41 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,880 So I want to challenge everybody in the room. 42 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:49,160 Come on, let's take notes together. 43 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,360 There's a no card in the seat back in front of you can take 44 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,200 notes on your phone. We're going to have some fun 45 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,600 together and we're going to see that God's going to move in a 46 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,160 powerful way. Come on, let's pray together as 47 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,280 we open God's word. Lord, right right now, we just 48 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,160 thank you. We thank you for your word. 49 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,080 We thank you for a house God that preaches your word. 50 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,720 And so lo, we pray right now, God, we stand on the promise 51 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,320 that your word does not return void. 52 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:11,120 And so father, I pray that people would not hear my voice 53 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,960 God, but they would hear yours. It's in Jesus name we pray Amen 54 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,600 and Amen. So we're talking about marriage 55 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,320 today. And so I thought it would be a 56 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,200 good time to show you a picture of I love my family. 57 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,400 Come on, everybody. That is the home and family 58 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,280 right there. And my wife, Irena and I in the 59 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,040 middle. Hey, in October, it'll be 19 60 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,880 years that we've been married over 20 years together. 61 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,160 Come on. She's put up with me for a long 62 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,400 time. And as you can tell, I really 63 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,320 love my wife. That's why we have 4 kids. 64 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:44,080 Come on, everybody. And this is our four kids, our 65 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,200 oldest, Gracie, Oliver, Adelina, and then little Joshie there in 66 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,400 front of me. And yes, the older ones are 67 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,200 getting taller than us. All right, everybody, that's 68 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,280 happening now. Have you ever looked at a family 69 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,640 picture like this and thought, man, that that family must be 70 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,680 perfect, right? Like that fan, like, like how in 71 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,280 the world did they get their boys to wear those button up 72 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,160 shirts? I'm sure that they didn't fight 73 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,720 with them at all to make this picture happen, right? 74 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,160 That the girls weren't taking forever to get ready, right? 75 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,200 Like like that picture this, this is a picture of how perfect 76 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,840 their family is. Everybody's smiling. 77 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,000 But the truth is that's not the reality, right? 78 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,640 Like how many times you look at a picture and you're like, man, 79 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,640 that must be the perfect family. They're not like ours. 80 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,040 They don't go through what we go through. 81 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,160 Hey, the, the truth is it took forever to pick out all the 82 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,080 outfits and get everything to happen. 83 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,920 And we had to bribe them with ice cream. 84 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,280 And they're probably going to tell me later that we didn't get 85 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,360 the ice cream yet. But but that's right. 86 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,040 We look at families and we go, man, that family must be 87 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,400 perfect. That marriage must be 88 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,640 incredible. But what we don't see in this 89 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,680 picture is the last 20 years of everything that Irene and I, and 90 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,560 mostly God has poured into our marriage. 91 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:52,280 The heartache, the tears, the fighting for our marriage, the 92 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,520 the healing that God has brought us through. 93 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,000 And really it's not even just the last 20 years, but it's 94 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,240 really what we brought into our marriage. 95 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,440 I want to show you another couple pictures right here. 96 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,320 Here's another couple pictures. This is, this is me right here. 97 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,760 This is little Joshy as I used to be called. 98 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,000 Now we have another little Joshy and I'm not so little anymore. 99 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,920 I'm just being honest, right? And then there is my beautiful 100 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,440 wife. There's little Irena. 101 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,320 And this was pictures of us when we were kids. 102 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,400 And when you see those pictures, you see two really happy kids. 103 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,200 But the reality is, is that we both had quiet childhood. 104 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,440 We both came from different, literally different sides of the 105 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,680 world. I, I was born in Indiana and, 106 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,920 and I was born into a family where most of my family had been 107 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,560 divorced and remarried at least once before I was even born. 108 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,240 Like people would say, how do you have so many grandparents? 109 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,600 Because I got step grandparents and regular grandparents and 110 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,200 aunts and uncles, right. And some of you got a nod in 111 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,040 your head because you know what that's like to be in a family 112 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,720 like that. But we grew up in a family where 113 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,200 man, we were loved and we were cared for, but divorce so often 114 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,160 was a part of our families lives. 115 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,120 We would hear things like divorce is not an option, but 116 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,000 all too often we would get to a place where honestly, the people 117 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,440 that we looked up to, my brother and sister and I would end their 118 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,080 marriage, end divorce. And it was hard. 119 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,080 And then there's my wife. My wife was actually literally 120 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,440 born on the other side of the world in a small village in 121 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,080 Ukraine. And when she was five years old, 122 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:19,760 her mom and dad and five of her, her and five other brothers and 123 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,600 sisters made a decision to move from the only home that they had 124 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,200 ever known from Ukraine to the US. 125 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,200 She was 5 when they moved, but it took four or five months to 126 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,360 get to Buffalo, NY. And so by the time she got 127 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,880 there, she was six years old. And here's the reality. 128 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,560 Her mom and dad have done everything to provide for their 129 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,040 family and to give them a better life. 130 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,560 And I'm so thankful that they made that decision. 131 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,880 But it was hard growing up. It was hard coming to a country 132 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,040 that you'd never been before and trying to learn a language that 133 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,480 you never heard before. And honestly, so many of the 134 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,680 relationships and the marriages that she saw growing up, they 135 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,680 were not divorced. They never got divorced. 136 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,640 But if they look closer, they were unhealthy and they weren't 137 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,640 close to the Lord. This is what Irena and I brought 138 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,280 into our marriage. Here's the next picture that 139 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,040 you'll see of us. This is one of our earliest 140 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,800 pictures when we got together. This was when we first started 141 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,680 to date, which dating wasn't long because it was after a 142 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,160 month of us dating that I asked Irena to be my wife. 143 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,600 Yeah, I knew I had a good one, and I had to snatch her up fast. 144 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,000 Come on, everybody, you can tell them that picture. 145 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,920 I married up. So I had to get, you know, get a 146 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,880 ring on it. And she said yes, she said yes. 147 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,480 And we started to plan our wedding. 148 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,320 And can I tell you, we were so in love. 149 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,080 We were so in love with each other, man, it, it, it was, it 150 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,200 was really love at first sight. And we just, we just grew in our 151 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,520 love for each other as we continue to date and get to know 152 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,000 each other. And then and then she said we 153 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,920 had to have a 15 month engagement. 154 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,920 That was a lot of trust. Come on, that was a long time to 155 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,680 wait right? And I said yes to that and we 156 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:51,760 got married on October 27th, 19 years ago. 157 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,147 We are so happy we got married and Irena's sister and brother 158 00:06:57,147 --> 00:07:10,360 in We had so many dreams, we had so many things that we wanted to 159 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,160 do and so many things that we felt like God had put in our 160 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,440 heart for what God wanted to do in and through us in our 161 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,680 marriage. And, and it was in that on that 162 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,880 day that we didn't just make a promise to each other, but we 163 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,840 made a covenant with each other. Here's another picture with 164 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:29,880 somebody you might recognize. That's Pastor Matt at the altar 165 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,800 marrying us. And if you could tell, I would 166 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,720 look too scared to death, by the way, Come on, husband, you know 167 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,640 what I'm talking about. But it was at the altar that 168 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,080 day. The Pastor Matt, like he has in 169 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,720 so many other ways, LED us pastorally to a place to not 170 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,160 just make a promise to each other, but to make a covenant 171 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,920 with each other, a covenant that would last a lifetime. 172 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:57,000 But we had no idea. We had no idea how hard it was 173 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,840 going to be and what we were stepping into. 174 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,440 And, and for a moment, I want to slow down with our story, but I 175 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,760 want to really slow down and talk about what biblical 176 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,320 marriage is. Because it was in this moment 177 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,920 right here that Pastor Matt was pastoring us and leading us in 178 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,560 our marriage at the very beginning to say this is how 179 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,880 you're you're supposed to live your life. 180 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,640 When it comes to biblical marriage. 181 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,840 I want to give you a working definition of biblical marriage. 182 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,960 Marriage is a holy and sacred union between one man and one 183 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,000 woman. This union is made through a 184 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,920 biblical covenant, not just between a couple, but also with 185 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,520 God. God designed marriage to reflect 186 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:37,159 the sacrificial love of Jesus and the church, Jesus and the 187 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,679 church. And so I want to give you a 188 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,679 couple things that come out of this when it comes to biblical 189 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,080 marriage. The first one is this is that 190 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:48,240 biblical marriage is a covenant made between one man, one woman 191 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,240 and God. You see, what was happening at 192 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,080 the altar that day wasn't just between Irena and I. 193 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,680 It wasn't just something that we were making a promise or saying 194 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,360 that we hope we were going to make it one day. 195 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,000 No, we were making a covenant before God. 196 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,120 It was a holy thing that that we just believe that marriage 197 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,000 should not be answered into lightly, that it's a serious, 198 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,920 serious holy thing when we say yes at an altar to somebody in 199 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,160 marriage. Here's what we see in Scripture 200 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:17,160 that that from the very beginning in Genesis verses 2, 201 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,680 chapter 2, verses 23 and 24, it says this. 202 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,880 The man said this now is bone in my bone and flesh in my flesh. 203 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,040 She shall be called woman. That's what I said when I saw 204 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,720 Arena on the wedding day. Come on, right, she shall be 205 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,640 called woman, for she was taken out of the man. 206 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,840 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united 207 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,320 to his wife, and they become one flesh. 208 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:45,920 Something supernatural happens when you get married, that it's 209 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,600 no longer just the husband and the wife, it is one. 210 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,680 It is one and the Lord. And this is such a powerful, 211 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,000 powerful thing when it comes to marriage that Jesus actually 212 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,960 quotes the Creator and quotes this verse in Matthew 19 verses 213 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,240 4 through 6. When He said this, haven't you 214 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,840 read? He replied that at the beginning 215 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,560 the Creator made them male and female and said for this reason 216 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:12,120 a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his 217 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,320 wife, and the two will become one flesh. 218 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:18,960 Therefore, let God, what God has joined together, let no one 219 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,240 separate. Come on, we've heard that at 220 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,120 weddings, right? Like what God has put together, 221 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,080 let no one separate. See, Jesus was reiterating the 222 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:31,040 fact that that what happens in marriages is that we become one 223 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:36,000 together, that we actually come together, not with a promise or 224 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,480 a contract, but with the covenant. 225 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,440 You see, there's a difference between a contract and a 226 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,560 covenant, right? A contract is a legal, binding 227 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:46,320 document that has to be drawed up so that the two parties 228 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,600 involved in the in the relationship are can be held 229 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:54,080 accountable by the contract. But a covenant, a covenant is so 230 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,880 different because the covenant is actually based on trust that 231 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,200 the parties involved in the covenant are going to put your 232 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,880 needs above their own. That's what happened that day at 233 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,320 the altar, that Irene and I were making a covenant not just 234 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,440 between each other, but with God, believing that God was 235 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,640 going to hold each other accountable and hold each other 236 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,040 together. And here's what we see in 237 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,760 Ecclesiastes, that that 2 are better than one. 238 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,000 But even more than that, when we have God in our lives, in our 239 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,760 marriages, that we're a three strand cord that is not easily 240 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,840 broken. Look what it says. 241 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,480 It says that well, though one may be overpowered, 2 can defend 242 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,200 themselves. And a cord of three strands are 243 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,800 husband, a wife, and God is not quickly broken. 244 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:38,400 So the first thing that a biblical marriage is it is a 245 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,280 covenant made between one man, one woman and God. 246 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,000 The second thing that I want you to see is this is that a 247 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,160 biblical marriage is designed by God to reflect the sacrificial 248 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:53,040 love of Jesus and the church. This is such a big deal because 249 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,360 here's what the devil doesn't want us to realize is that a 250 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,760 marriage, our marriage is actually a picture. 251 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,520 It's a reflection of how Christ loves the church and because of 252 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,800 Christ's love for us and how much we love him, that when we 253 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,680 actually do marriage the way that God's called us to, that it 254 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,880 is the greatest reflection of what it looks like to be in love 255 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,040 with Jesus. My greatest testimony to my 4 256 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,560 kids is actually how I love my wife. 257 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,880 It communicates to them so much more than anything else I will 258 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:26,360 ever say or do. But how I love their mom will 259 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,320 communicate how much I've received Christ's love and vice 260 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,600 versa. Here's what it says in Ephesians 261 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,560 5. This this incredible verse, 262 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,600 these verses where Paul breaks down what it looks like for 263 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,800 husbands and wives to be in marriage together the way that 264 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,120 God has called us to. But at the end of this 265 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,200 conversation, I love what he says because he brings a 266 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,240 profound mystery into the light. What the devil doesn't want the 267 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,680 world to know is that our marriages are one of the most 268 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,080 powerful things that we have to share the gospel of Jesus 269 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,920 Christ. Look what he said. 270 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,160 Look what he said here in Ephesians 5, 31 and 32 said for 271 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,760 this reason. Listen, this might sound 272 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,800 familiar, which is amazing because it goes all throughout 273 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,440 Scripture. For this reason, a man will 274 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,480 leave his father and mother, you're going to be able to quote 275 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,400 this by the end of the the message and be united to his 276 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,040 wife and two will become flesh. 1 flesh. 277 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,720 This is a profound mystery. Paul says this is a profound 278 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:23,160 mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 279 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,160 When we think about marriage, when we think about marriage, 280 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,680 the way that God has called us to live out our marriages, we 281 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,880 have to start with the fact that Christ loved us first. 282 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,600 Remember last week Pastor Matt talked about this verse in first 283 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,520 John 4/19. He said we love, come on, 284 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:44,200 somebody we love the way that God's called us to love because 285 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,920 he's first loved us. I don't know about you, but I'm 286 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,240 so thankful for the salvation that we have found in Jesus 287 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,440 Christ. Can I get an Amen that he saved 288 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,840 our lives, that he loved us enough, God loved us enough to 289 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,960 send his Son Jesus to come and to die on the cross for us. 290 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,520 It's kind of love that God's called us to live within our 291 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,040 marriage. So I want to show you a new 292 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,560 picture of Irene and I. This was taken just a couple 293 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,320 months ago. This was after we were out to 294 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,880 dinner for somebody's birthday and we were hanging out 295 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,360 afterwards. And the reason I picked this 296 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:17,880 picture is because some of the early pictures, when I see them, 297 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,600 I actually see a lot of the heartache and the pain that we 298 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,960 went through. But when I see this picture, I 299 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,520 see a husband and wife who love each other because Christ first 300 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,640 loved us. I'm so thankful that Irene and I 301 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,640 have gotten to this place. But I want you to know, listen, 302 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,360 first of all, we're not perfect. We're still figuring it out. 303 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,600 And sure enough, the, the week that I preach on on on marriage, 304 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,040 we get in a huge fight on Monday. 305 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,240 Come on, everybody, right. Like we're just figuring it out 306 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,480 too. We're trying to work through our 307 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,160 stuff just like everybody else's. 308 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,840 But we have we've learned so much from so many other people 309 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,360 that we want to share with today. 310 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,280 I love and the Ephesian verses where it actually talks about in 311 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,520 Ephesian 5 where Paul actually lays out what it looks like for 312 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,560 husbands to love their wives, for wives to love their husbands 313 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,600 so that we could be this profound mystery being unlocked 314 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,360 to the world that we are the love of Christ and the love that 315 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,120 he has for the church and the church to him. 316 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,640 Here's what I see in Ephesians 525. 317 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:19,200 It says this husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the 318 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,520 church and gave himself up for her. 319 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,200 We see this, we also see a little further where he 320 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,840 encourages wives to respect and submit to their husbands as the 321 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,600 church submitted to Christ. And then he continues on and he 322 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,840 does that verse that I just went to where it talks about this 323 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,680 profound mystery that is unlocked when we're talking 324 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:44,280 about Christ and the church. But can I be honest with you? 325 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,040 There was probably about 9-10 years ago, Irina and I were 326 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:50,040 trying to figure out how to live life out, how to live our 327 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,640 marriage out in this way that that Paul was talking about. 328 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,920 Can I be honest with you? There were times that I did not 329 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,040 want to lay down my life for my wife. 330 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,600 Just being real with you, there were times when my wife looked 331 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,480 at me and said, it's hard for me to respect you and to follow you 332 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,040 because of the way that you're living your life. 333 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,600 It has me thinking about a story that happened to me about 1213 334 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,120 years ago. We were actually going to have a 335 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,760 staff retreat here at the church. 336 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,000 And we love to have fun at the church. 337 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,560 We love to have a good time. And so we had a decision to 338 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,440 start our staff retreat out with bubble soccer everybody. 339 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,120 All right now, bubble soccer is a fun sport. 340 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,760 It's a fun sport. You might be wondering what in 341 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,840 the world is bubble soccer, right? 342 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,560 Well, I I figured you would ask, so I wanted to actually show you 343 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,440 a video, a bubble soccer. This is bubble soccer. 344 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,520 Yeah. That looks like a good time, 345 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:35,200 right? Come on. 346 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,840 That is a good, good time, right. 347 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,800 And so we made a decision that we were going to do bubble 348 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,240 soccer. And I was so excited. 349 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,920 I grew up playing football. I thought, man, this is the 350 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,760 first time in 10 years I get to hit somebody else and it's 351 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,000 legal. Come on, somebody. 352 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,720 And so we go out, we get into the big bubble balls. 353 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,440 They come down to right to my knees. 354 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,520 I'm literally above my head because I'm sure. 355 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,880 And we're in these bubble balls and we're playing soccer. 356 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,560 And I actually never really played soccer before, but I was 357 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,440 excited. I see the ball, I see an open 358 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,360 goal. I run up to the ball, I plant my 359 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,800 left leg, put all my weight on my left leg, and I kick the ball 360 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,200 in about the right. At that same time, somebody from 361 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,560 my peripheral comes up and one of the other males on her staff, 362 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,520 and he hits me as hard as he possibly can. 363 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,359 In that moment, something snapped in my leg. 364 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,599 Oh yes, yes it did. It's I can still feel it. 365 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,440 I can still hear the snap. It snapped in my leg. 366 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,560 And what I would later find out is that I tore my ACL, did way 367 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,320 more than tore my ACL. And in that moment, Pastor 368 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,280 Lewis, another staff member, they picked me up. 369 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,280 They started to Take Me Out to the car and I passed out. 370 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,760 Now, have you show of hands? How many has ever passed out? 371 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,120 It's weird, right? It's just a weird experience, 372 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,240 right? So I pass out, I wake up and 373 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:48,400 I'll never forget this. I wake up, I'm on my side, I 374 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,840 wake up and my pastor, Pastor Matt, who's been there for me 375 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,040 since I was 15 years old at my wedding when my kids were born, 376 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,440 all kinds of stuff. Walk me through thinking my 377 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,640 pastor is rubbing ice on my neck and praying for me. 378 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,040 Come on, That is the pastor that you have. 379 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,480 He's there for us. I'm so thankful for he's just 380 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,880 rubbing ice on my neck and he's praying for me. 381 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,640 And next thing I know, somebody's praying for my knee 382 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,000 and they're touching my knee and I'm like, stop touching my knee. 383 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,080 And, and here's what they told me later is that as soon as it 384 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:19,200 happened, it sounded like a bear was bear was being hurt 385 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:23,960 somewhere that I was like, and I was stuck in the bubble ball 386 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,840 because it was plastic and there was sweat. 387 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,280 I couldn't get out of the bubble ball. 388 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,440 I finally got out of the bubble ball. 389 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,600 All this happened. I go to the hospital, sure 390 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:35,280 enough, I tear my tip my, my ACL after three or four weeks, my 391 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,600 wife is taking care of me. She's taking care of the kids. 392 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,480 She's feeding all of us, she's cooking. 393 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,800 We go to all these doctor's appointments. 394 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,560 And sure enough, after three or four weeks, I'm up. 395 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,120 I'm, I'm starting to move around a little bit, but we go to the 396 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:49,520 orthopedic and she looked at me and she said, Pastor Josh, if 397 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,720 you don't have surgery to replace your ACL, you'll be able 398 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,360 to move around. You'll be able to do some stuff. 399 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:57,600 But 10 years from now, you won't be able to do the things that 400 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,920 you do today. You won't be able to go out and 401 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,520 play with the kids in the backyard. 402 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,520 You won't be able to walk up on a stage and preach because 403 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,280 you'll have to go upstairs. And so we need to go in and we 404 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,600 need to replace that ACL. So we made a hard decision, my 405 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,160 wife and I to do that. She said, hey, there might be 406 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,040 some more painful days of in the future to get to a place of 407 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,840 healing, but we got to do that so we can get you to where you 408 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,320 need to be. We had the surgery, we were in 409 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,560 the surgery. They told us that they would 410 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,720 replace the ACL and I'd be able to put weight on. 411 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,840 It came out, I didn't just fracture or tear my ACL. 412 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,600 I fractured my tibia at the same time. 413 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,200 They said you can't put weight on it. 414 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:34,240 So it was months, months of being on a scooter for six 415 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,840 months, going to physical therapy, All the pain, all the 416 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,920 heartache. But I'm so thankful that I had 417 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,960 that surgery because there was something on the inside that I 418 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,360 had no idea was affecting my day-to-day life. 419 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,920 That God allowed that surgeon to go in and use her gift to fix 420 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,320 it. That today I can go out and I 421 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,840 can play with my kids. I can watch two walk two or 422 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,320 three miles three or four times a week. 423 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,440 I can walk up on this platform and preach God's Word to you 424 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:02,040 because I made a decision. But can I be honest with you? 425 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,280 I want to submit to all of you in the room, whether you're 426 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,080 married or you're not. I have a feeling that there's 427 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,360 some things happening inside of our hearts that we've brought 428 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:13,760 into our present day life that because we haven't allowed the 429 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,640 surgeon, the Holy Spirit to come in and bring some healing to 430 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,280 some unhealed places in our life, they're affecting our 431 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,000 day-to-day lives in ways that we can't even imagine. 432 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,240 I want to show you this picture again of little Josh and little 433 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,040 Irina. You see, the reality was, is 434 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,680 that the things that happened to us when we were children, we 435 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,000 brought into our marriage. The things that we went through 436 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,720 when we were little kids, we brought into our marriage when I 437 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,720 was six years old. I'll never forget my mom and dad 438 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,560 had tried so hard two or three times. 439 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,520 My dad had moved out, moved back in, and they finally made the 440 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,040 decision they were going to get a divorce. 441 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,080 I'll never forget the day that my brother and my sister and my 442 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,440 mom and I were in the car when we were leaving. 443 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,960 We packed up the car. My dad walked around to the 444 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,200 window of our car. I rolled the window down because 445 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,520 that's how you used to roll the window down. 446 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,000 And he kneeled down to me and he said, now you're the man of the 447 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,120 house. Now he was innocent in what he 448 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,720 was saying, but I took that as to heart that day. 449 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,400 And can I tell you that throughout my childhood, 450 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,640 everything, every time something bad happened, every time the 451 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,080 water got cut off because we couldn't pay the bill, every 452 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,880 time somebody got sick and we couldn't do something or we 453 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,280 couldn't do anything good in our family. 454 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:28,560 Literally, I felt like I wasn't good enough because I had this 455 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,840 mindset that it was me, that it was up to me, 5 year old little 456 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,880 Joshie. I took this mindset into my 457 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,520 adult life and the enemy used it to, to reinforce this mindset 458 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,320 that I wasn't good enough over and over again. 459 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,880 I had a learning disability. And because of that, I believe 460 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,040 that I just wasn't good enough. I was dumb and then I had failed 461 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,000 relationships after failed relationships. 462 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,440 And I really believe that the devil was true in my life, that 463 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:56,200 that I was not good enough. And I brought this into our 464 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:00,320 marriage. Adelina or Irena, Adelina's my 465 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,880 daughter, and she looks just like her in that picture. 466 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:13,360 Irena she was six years old, first grade, came into a 467 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:17,120 classroom for the very first time after moving from Ukraine, 468 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:22,400 did not know any English. Nobody in her family did, and 469 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,720 her mom and dad provided for her food and shelter. 470 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,480 But it was over those next couple years that she realized 471 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,960 that if anything else good was going to happen in her life, 472 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,120 that it was up to her. That if she was going to learn 473 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,000 English, it was up to her. If she was going to go to 474 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,680 college, it was up to her. If she was going to do things 475 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,400 like play soccer, it was up to her. 476 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:45,680 It was all up to her. And the truth is, is that we got 477 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,680 to a place where we have what we believe and what we call is a 478 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,680 stronghold in our lives and our freedom curriculum, which I'm 479 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,080 going to talk about in a minute, we actually lay out what a 480 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,800 stronghold is. But I want to read to you the 481 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,000 definition of what a stronghold is. 482 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,560 A stronghold is a defensive mindset that sets itself up 483 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:07,840 against God's voice and provokes unhealed places in our hearts. 484 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,600 It provokes unhealed places in our hearts. 485 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,920 My stronghold was that I wasn't good enough, that I was not good 486 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,920 enough. And it did not matter how much 487 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,720 God would speak to me over and over again when I was a child, 488 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,840 when I was became adult because I had a defensive mindset that 489 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,760 was set up against the very voice of God in my life. 490 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,680 And then Irena, it was all up to her. 491 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,600 That was the stronghold that she brought into our marriage, that 492 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,960 it was all up to her. And here's what I want you to 493 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,120 see is that our strongholds actually provoked each other. 494 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:45,720 That these unhealed places in our hearts, these strongholds, 495 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,760 they provoked each other. Here's the best way I can 496 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,520 explain it. When Irene and I first got 497 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,080 married, she worked third shift at the hospital as a CNA, and 498 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,320 she would give me A to do list, the honey To Do List. 499 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,200 Come on guys, you know what I'm talking about, right? 500 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,640 And let's say there was 10 things on the honey To Do List 501 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,440 and she would come home on Thursday or on Friday morning 502 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,600 when it was my day off. She would go to bed. 503 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,080 And then all day long I'd work on the hunting To Do List. 504 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,200 And can I tell you I'd get 8 out of the 1010 things done almost 505 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,360 every time. Like it. 506 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:12,360 I tried. Yeah, yeah. 507 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:13,360 Come on. You can clap for me. 508 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:17,200 Yeah, that's good. And and hey, this UN dealt with 509 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,920 unhealed, healed, healed place in me was like, I can't wait 510 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,360 till she wakes up. I can't wait to tell her about 511 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,200 the eight things that I did. All the how great of a husband I 512 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,320 am, how awesome I am. And then she would wake up and 513 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,040 sure enough, she would ask me about the two things that I did 514 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,640 not do right. Come on, you know what I'm 515 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,080 talking about. And here was the reality was it 516 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,520 poked, it poked. It provoked the unhealed place 517 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,800 in my heart when she brought up the two things and I freaked 518 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,720 out. I had freak out moment after 519 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,720 freak out moment after freak out moment and I would go forget it. 520 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,960 I can't do anything that's going to be enough for you. 521 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,800 I'm just not good enough. I can't believe that you're even 522 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,720 with me. And I would even go to the place 523 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,800 that I believed in my heart that she was going to leave one day 524 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,560 because I had a stronghold that I walked into our marriage with. 525 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:04,760 And then here's what I want you to see. 526 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,920 At the very same time, when I would freak out because I was 527 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,880 provoked and an unhealed place, I would provoked her unhealed 528 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:16,160 place too, because now she started to believe the truth or 529 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,320 that the lie that what she started to believe a lie to be a 530 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,560 truth that it was all up to her. Now I'm going to have to take 531 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,040 care of everything. Even in my marriage. 532 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,520 I had to do it growing up and now I got to do it with my 533 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,920 husband. And can I tell you, the last 534 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,680 thing that was on my mind when we were fighting, we were going 535 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,560 through all of that was I want to lay down my life for my wife, 536 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,400 just as Christ did. The last thing that was going 537 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,520 through her mind was I want to respect Him and submit to Him. 538 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,880 That was the last thing. The last thing in our minds was 539 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,320 that we were going to do this together. 540 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,440 We thought for sure that this was going to end in tragedy. 541 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:53,960 But then the Lord reminded us about 10 years ago, we came to a 542 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,320 crossroads. He reminded us the commitment, 543 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,480 the covenant that we made to each other, that it wasn't just 544 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,040 me and her in this marriage, but it was me and her and God. 545 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,800 And it was about that time that we came out with the Freedom 546 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,760 curriculum. And I'll never forget Pastor 547 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,120 Matt and Sarah said, hey, we want some of you to go through 548 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,840 it for the very first time. And so I said yes, I think they 549 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,680 actually said we're going to need you to do it as a staff 550 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,320 member. So I said yes. 551 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,520 And Freedom is just this special thing. 552 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,960 If you've been through it, you know, honestly, there's been 553 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,240 thousands of people that have gone through it now we went 554 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,560 through it and we started to identify the lies that the enemy 555 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:40,040 had been lying to us about, started to identify the fear in 556 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,200 our life. The fear of abandonment in my 557 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:46,320 life was so real. And then to get to a place where 558 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,920 I identified that I had this, this stronghold, this, this 559 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,040 mindset, the defensive mindset up against God's voice in my 560 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,360 life that was provoked that I wasn't good enough. 561 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,320 I'll never forget week 10 freedom experience. 562 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,200 And when you do it, you're it's guys with guys and girls with 563 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,960 girls and I'm I'm around the circle with six other guys. 564 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,720 We had just walked through so much together and and my leader 565 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:15,720 walk me through going back to that moment, being in the car 566 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,440 that day when I was five years old. 567 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,680 Walk me through the moment where my father kneeled down and said, 568 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:27,600 now you're the man of the house. And, and I just had this picture 569 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,680 because I remember what happened, but I in that moment, 570 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,720 God actually showed me what was really happening in the 571 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,960 supernatural. I just felt like God the father 572 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,240 was just reaching his hand out, putting his hand on my shoulder 573 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,640 and just saying, Josh, I love you and I'm never going to leave 574 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,640 you or forsake you. This isn't up to you. 575 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,000 This isn't your job. This isn't your weight to carry 576 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,440 and you're more than enough. I'll never forget what I felt 577 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,280 that day. I felt like the Lord literally 578 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,000 say that you are. You are fearfully and 579 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,400 wonderfully made like you are clever, you are smart, you're 580 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,520 not dumb. Literally in that moment, it was 581 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,280 like literally it was healing that I didn't think was 582 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:11,840 possible. I didn't know that there was 583 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,640 such this deep, deep thing that was inside of me that was 584 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,200 affecting my everyday life and I was healed. 585 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,920 I was healed from it. It was, it was the next 586 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,200 semester, Irena was asked to go through freedom and, and she 587 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,120 said yes. And I'll never forget, we get to 588 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,080 the end of the freedom semester and we're back in Pastor Sarah's 589 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,800 office, myself, Irena and Pastor Sarah. 590 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,600 And she's walking her through that moment in that classroom, 591 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:43,440 that moment, that moment when that little girl started to 592 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,240 believe a lie from the enemy that she was all alone. 593 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:50,360 And then it was all up to her. And here's what happens. 594 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,560 Like, like if we're not careful, we do a couple different things 595 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,960 in our marriage. If we're not careful, we 596 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,320 actually, instead of going to God, we go to other people. 597 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,160 And, and some of it's innocent. Some of it's like, man, I'm just 598 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,160 going to go to my accountability partner, my friend. 599 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,080 I'm going to go to my, you know, Irene into her girlfriends. 600 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,360 And some of it's innocent. But the truth is, man, my 601 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,040 friends only heard one side of the story. 602 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,920 Her friends only heard one side of the story. 603 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,080 And so, so when we go to God, there's something powerful that 604 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,520 happens. When we go to a counselor, 605 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,200 something powerful happens because they see the whole story 606 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:27,120 and they want to help us. And maybe you're hearing you 607 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:29,160 actually went to somebody else and you stepped out in your 608 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:33,000 marriage and you thought you thought, I can't get what I need 609 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,240 in this marriage, so I got to go get it from somebody else. 610 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,720 And here's what I just believe. I believe that that you're 611 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:43,040 trying to fix the problem, but really you're looking at 612 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:47,000 symptoms because the symptom is when we go everywhere else and 613 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,320 try to find fixes everywhere else. 614 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,120 And here's the reality. We do this with our spouses too, 615 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,240 because the truth is, I can't get everything that I need from 616 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,600 my arena. I can only get everything I need 617 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,240 from God and the healing that needs to take place so that all 618 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,000 the other things don't keep happening. 619 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,360 You're like, why do I keep cheating on my wife? 620 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,880 Why do I keep doing this with my against my husband? 621 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,920 It's because there's some undealt with pain inside of your 622 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:16,600 heart that God wants to heal. And he's the only one. 623 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,040 And then Irene and I, sometimes we would go to each other. 624 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,880 But as I've already illustrated, the problem is when there's 625 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,360 strongholds that aren't healed by God, we just provoke each 626 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,640 other over and over and over again. 627 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,360 And there is a time, there is a time in a Christian marriage 628 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,920 where we come back together, Amen, where God heals us. 629 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,840 But I want you to see this because as we started to go 630 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,280 through freedom, as we start to live out a freedom like life, 631 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:49,360 listen, freedom, we say this all time, the, the freedom, the the 632 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,080 destination is the journey. That freedom, living it every 633 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,640 single day is really the goal. It's not just going through a 12 634 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,800 week course and being done, but it's living in freedom. 635 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:02,560 And when we did that, when we kept going closer and closer to 636 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,200 God, when we were willing to let him bring healing to our hearts, 637 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:11,320 we got closer to each other. We got closer to each other. 638 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,920 And it was in that moment when we came back to each other with 639 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:19,320 healed hearts that we were able to say, God, this is what we 640 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,480 want to give back to you. This is the kind of marriage 641 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:22,760 that we want to offer each other. 642 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,040 It's in this moment that I'm willing to say, I will lay down 643 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,720 my life for my wife. It's in this moment that my wife 644 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,600 goes, you know what? You're the kind of husband that 645 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,800 I'll follow. Come on, somebody right? 646 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,000 Like this is what God has for us in our marriages. 647 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:46,040 But all too often, all too often, we stay here and we let 648 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,400 the enemy use these strongholds against us. 649 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:54,200 When the reality is, is that when we get closer to God, that 650 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,880 he uses what the enemy meant for evil for good. 651 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,240 Because now with healed hearts, my wife is able to look at me 652 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,640 when I get 8 out of the 10 things done because that still 653 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,720 happens and say, hey, I love you. 654 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,720 How can we work together to get these things done? 655 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,680 Because I still got to get done. And I can look back at her in a 656 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:19,120 safe place and go, I have no idea how to fix that fan and 657 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,880 install it so it doesn't click over and over and over again. 658 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,480 And instead of letting it make me feel like I'm not good 659 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,400 enough, you know what? I'm just, it's just not my gift. 660 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:29,600 And she says, we'll figure it out. 661 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,520 And then what it does is it brings healing to her because 662 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,520 she goes, I don't have to do it all by myself. 663 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,240 It's not all up to me. So you might be going, Pastor 664 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,840 Josh, what do we do? What, what steps do we take next 665 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,040 here? Here's what I just believe. 666 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,680 I believe that you have to make a choice was a choice that I 667 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,960 made when I when I tore my ACL to say, you know what, doctor, I 668 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,680 trust you to go in and and actually do surgery. 669 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:58,160 I trust you to take care of the things that I can't see so that 670 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,280 I can live the life that you've called me to be right now. 671 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:06,000 Some of us were in our marriages and then we're just, we're up 672 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,400 against it. And God is saying, are you 673 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,720 willing? Are you willing to come to me? 674 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,920 Are you willing to find freedom? The first way is this is, it is 675 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,080 a counselor or biblical Christian counselor. 676 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,280 And we, we have vetted a ton of them and we have some amazing 677 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,840 counselors that we want to lead you to. 678 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,200 And here's what I'm asking you to do. 679 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:27,120 If that's you, if you're here today at the end of service when 680 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,120 our prayer team comes out, Pastor Kevin's going to lead us 681 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,280 after everybody else is left, I want you to come to the prayer 682 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,880 team and I want you to tell them, hey, would you pray for 683 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,520 our marriage and then ask for a counselor. 684 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,960 They're going to give you some next steps to find the right 685 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,560 counselor for you. And you might going, Pastor 686 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,160 Josh, I don't want to come down. People are going to know, 687 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,080 listen, it's OK, we're for you. We're excited for you. 688 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,880 And there's going to be people that come up for other prayer 689 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,000 too. Let's take that step of faith. 690 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,400 Let's let's step into it. Listen, people are anointed and 691 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,960 called and used by God as counselors and therapists. 692 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,240 Amen. And then here's the other thing. 693 00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,360 I want to encourage you to sign up for freedom. 694 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,040 We have freedom in the fall again, we do it in the in the 695 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,360 spring and in the fall. You can go to 696 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,840 nextlevelchurch.com/freedom. I want you to write that down. 697 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,440 Listen, husbands, there's part of that Ephesians verse that 698 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,840 talks about how we should lay down our, our lives for our, 699 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,679 our, our, our wives, just as Christ did the church and talks 700 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:18,400 about how we love because we know how to love ourselves. 701 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,000 Some of us don't know how to love ourselves. 702 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:23,639 We don't, we don't know how to deal with some of the stuff from 703 00:34:23,639 --> 00:34:25,360 the past. We want to help you with that, 704 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,639 wives, we want to help you with that. 705 00:34:26,639 --> 00:34:28,960 Some of us, we just don't even know what's on the inside that's 706 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,159 affecting our today. And so I want to, I want to 707 00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:34,840 challenge you, I want to implore you to please sign up to be a 708 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,199 part of a freedom group this fall. 709 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:43,000 Hey, listen, we need help in our marriages. 710 00:34:43,679 --> 00:34:45,320 We need help in our relationships. 711 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,239 And as we close today, I just want to invite everybody at 712 00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:52,520 every location to stand because I, I want us to take a final 713 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,120 step because I think that final step is honestly just to give it 714 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,680 all to God. If you're a single person in the 715 00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,080 room right now, this is for you too. 716 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,920 I want to lead us to a simple prayer of a forgiveness of 717 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,720 repentance and then a prayer over our marriages. 718 00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:06,800 Come on. Would you bow your heads and 719 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,720 close your eyes if you're here today? 720 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:13,640 I love the verse in Psalms 139 where David says, search my 721 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,800 heart, O Lord, and know my innermost thoughts, my anxious 722 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,120 thoughts. If you're here right now, you 723 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,240 say, Pastor Josh, I need to repent right now. 724 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,880 If there's something right now, an act, something said, a way of 725 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:28,320 thinking maybe with your spouse, maybe somebody else right now, I 726 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,000 just pray that you would just just repeat this prayer to me in 727 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,120 your heart. Lord, I'm sorry. 728 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,080 I repent for those things. I receive your forgiveness now. 729 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,080 Maybe you're here right now and you need to forgive. 730 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,720 There's not enough grace in our marriages as we need to give 731 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:45,560 more and so right now, whatever that is that that thing you need 732 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,280 to forgive. I just pray that you would have 733 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,640 the strength we this is how we say it in in the freedom 734 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,280 creaking Lord, just as you've forgiven me. 735 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:52,880 Come on. He's forgiven us of so much. 736 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:56,160 I choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. 737 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,160 Come on all across this room. Lord, I choose to forgive. 738 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,920 I choose to forgive what they said or what they did or didn't 739 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,120 do. Lord, I forgive right now. 740 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:11,960 And Lord, we make a choice right now to run to you and our 741 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:15,360 marriages to run to you before we even get married, God, so 742 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,880 that we could be the spouse that you've called us to be. 743 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,720 Lord, right now I pray a blessing over every marriage 744 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,640 under the sound of my voice. God, I pray right now in Jesus 745 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,960 name that reconciliation and freedom and healing would reign 746 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,160 in our marriages, God. God, that we would run to you 747 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,840 and that you would heal every hurting and broken place in our 748 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:36,080 hearts so that we could be in great covenant relationship with 749 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,240 each other. And God, we pray that our 750 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:41,120 marriages would be a reflection, God, that the world around us 751 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:44,440 would look at us and go, God, that is the people who love you. 752 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,200 And I want to be more like that. Lord, I love you and I'm 753 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:49,400 thankful for all that you've done in every marriage today. 754 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,320 God, we pray blessing over them in Jesus mighty name. 755 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,800 All of God's people said Amen and Amen. 756 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:55,720 Come on, can we praise God?