Charlotte is that is the thing that takes me out of the
believability and world than I've already lost the plot.
Oh God, I'm like look, I can accept I can accept everything
I've seen so far, but I can't take the fact that his mouth
isn't really moving get he's speaking The King's English with
a Southern accent. Like I yeah that know.
Hello everyone and welcome to Castle Bravo a Godzilla versus
retrospective. I'm Derek and I'm Charlotte and
we're two siblings here to examine the history of the
Godzilla franchise one movie at a time.
We're joined today by icgc Creator and fellow host John
fibs, John. What's up, bud?
Yeah, I'm here to talk about this movie.
I saw. so When when we were planning guests, I very
specifically chose today's movie for you.
I didn't let you choose I chose it for you.
It's a story of my entire life because you you do not have much
in the way of history with Godzilla, right?
Correct? Yeah.
No, that's and a very accurate statement.
Yeah you I think before now you had seen I think at least First
legendary movie, right? Yes, whatnot.
So, I actually, so, on your recommendation, I watched like,
the first Godzilla movie, you did want the original, your
original Godzilla movie. And I saw the one that came out
in, like, in 2000, but I haven't seen anything since.
Yeah. Yeah, well.
So, you've seen a masterpiece and an American movie, whose I'm
trying to withhold my opinions on, until I can revisit them.
But yeah, then then we showed you today's movie, and we'll get
to why that's funny. And your whores are watching
Another Godzilla movie. Well, of course, I've also seen
the Masterpiece that is Roland emmerich's, Godzilla movie.
Yes, that came out in what 1999 or something.
Yeah, yeah. So, you've seen before, now you
seen three Godzilla movies? All the ones that are just
called Godzilla? Yeah, and also like when you say
I've seen three Godzilla movies, I feel like you need a citation,
right? Right.
So I've seen a real Godzilla movie and to Godzilla movies
that are okay. Yeah.
They're movies. Yeah.
Because the originals a fucking
Masterpiece, but I'll know. I actually really enjoyed the
region. Yeah, for what it's worth.
We picked you for a bad one today, but I did pick a very
good one for you. Down the road as well, to make
up for what? I've put you through today.
Yeah, you need. Yeah, you owe me that Charlotte.
Hi, how are you doing? I'm doing good, just good it's
always this good. I think that's better than that.
Use exaggerated language very often like I would never
describe myself as being like great or awesome.
Like I'm good I'm fucking killing it for white rules right
now like I got some some games for like 30 bucks that would
have cost $900 if I bought them in English.
Oh yeah. I've been I've been following
Along on Twitter with some of your recent treasure.
Vines and it's incredibly Charlotte core.
Okay, so so far on Castle Bravo, we have talked about a lot of
Godzilla movies, a lot of non Godzilla movies, I think most
relevant to today season two. We came in kind of worried about
what would happen when we moved away from issue.
Honda directing Godzilla movies, we were surprised to find out we
quite liked the Jun fukuyama era of Godzilla that we have seen so
far that was a Birra horror of the deep and Son of Godzilla.
And then the Sherrill Honda came back and directed Destroy All
Monsters in 1968 which was incredible.
It's the last episode that we did, we had a blast.
Now, it is the year 1969. Nice nice, Andy Sherrell.
Honda is back. Only a year after they intended
to end the Godzilla franchise with a new movie called all
monsters attack. Also known as Godzilla's
Revenge. This movie clocking in at only
an hour. And 10 minutes is effectively an
anti-bullying children's special that uses a ton of stock
footage. Specifically from the bureau
horror of the deep Son of Godzilla and Destroy All
Monsters. It is not entirely stock
footage, but a lot of it is stock footage.
This, this movie has kind of a An Infamous reputation among
Godzilla fans and I think it's somewhat earned we'll get into
that as we, you know, move along but this was a bad time for me
and John so we watched the me and John together watched the
original American version, Godzilla's Revenge and Charlotte
watched the Japanese version and then I went back and re-watch.
It in Japanese and then Charlotte checked out some clips
of the English version so that we could be very familiar.
So I think a lot of Godzilla fans will have seen Godzilla's
Revenge on VHS. It was very common in like video
stores through the 80s and 90s. So it's one that I think
assaulted me. Yes, I think a ton of people
have probably seen the American version of this movie
specifically. And while I did want to Inflict
that psychic damage on John. Yeah.
I also wanted to be able to speak to maybe the original
intention of this movie, but I've rambled on long enough
Charlotte. Why don't you tell us what
happens in all monsters attack. All right, so more than you
would think happens in this movie for something.
It's just over an hour and contains a lot of stock footage,
but I would say it's pretty like, It's pretty standard like
Honda as far as like the story beats.
Go Joe. Like you start and know I don't
know what the fuck you're saying.
What do you mean? You don't know what I'm saying?
I don't I don't I don't know that.
I would call these standard. Honda's story beats.
I would well let's let's let's get get along and we can we can
litigate this as we go clean myself to you by the end.
So the movie begins and they are singing this funny little
children song right with like different pass shots of the
monsters because again, there's a lot of stock footage in this
movie and some kids are walking home from school 200, can we
speak? We're talking about the intro,
do it in the original version. Of course.
It's a very like children's Japanese like kindergarten kind
of song. You know, very like Pepe morning
radio kind of shit. And in American in, the American
release that has been removed and replaced with what can only
be called pre 70s Cosmic Funk. Oh yeah, that's present old
problem. It's like yeah.
No. Yeah.
It's like, wow. I love watching.
Only two monsters. Fight to each other to
Parliament Funkadelic. Like it's yeah.
It's really groovy is like as infamously kind of awful.
Like I love it, but it is kind of awful.
The American opening, is it kind of closer fits to the musical
tone of the movie, which is very Funkadelic in a lot of places.
But yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So they're walking home and Ichiro which is like the main
boy. Here's this car like backfired.
He's like ah that sounds just like me Nero.
I guess, but then the song like comes around to its point and
like one of the lines in the in the Japanese version of the song
is like megatons, smoke and exhaustion.
Those are the real monsters. It's like a, it's like a kid's
song about environmentalism so, you know, it's not terrible
paired up along all these like shots of like factories and
trains and things like that, right?
There's one thing I know children love, it's
environmentalism. Honda was doing.
His best. Yeah, so they pass by a train
track like this paint. This train goes by and each Rose
dad is at the front of the train and he tells him to take care of
his mom because he has to stay at work tonight.
He's not going to make it home and then Ichiro, picks up this
vacuum tube off the ground, takes it with him because it
looks cool. And the the father sits down
with one of his co-workers and he's like I'm really worried
that my son is too shy and he's also a latchkey kid.
So I just worry about them in general.
And they're reading the paper and the paper has something
about two thieves that have made off with 50 million yen.
And so as they keep going, Ichiro, tries to convince
sachiko, to go play in an abandoned building, but then
they're like headed off by some bullies and the bullies
basically convinced him to hand over the vacuum tube.
And they're like, if you want this back you have to go
startled. The man on a ladder over there
by honking his motorcycle home. The cowboy that is painting a
sign. A cowboy PC.
Chris, I apparently has a motorcycle.
I bet that dude is fucking wild to see going through the city.
A cowboy on a motorcycle in Tokyo?
Hell yeah, just another day at the office for me, each row
does. All right thing, he refuses and
then some police drive by and then it on the radio, it's
talking about how it is actually two Thieves for sure.
It's two people. That I made off at the 50
million yen. So Each our goes inside and
grabs the grabs his key from this toy consultant named
Minami. Who's working on a computer, the
kitty computer and he hits a button on the computer and it
shows a video of Apollo 11 on the moon and each row is like, I
don't really care about that. I want, I would rather be on
Monster Island then on the moon want to talk about how weird it
was, this this moment specifically because, of course,
I saw this movie probably in the mid late 90s.
And computers were a rarity in people's houses in, you know,
like, 96 97, but not completely unheard of, I had computers in
my house that early and it was weird to see this retro idea of
a computer, but it wasn't completely impossible to think
of, but this movie was made in 1969.
And right. I think their ideas on audio
video Fidelity on home computers were maybe a little generous.
Yeah. Yeah also toymaker dude is
creepy as fuck. Okay.
I-i've got a question about this guy.
Was he or was he not the kids uncle or was he just a creepy
doll maker? I think he's just like a
neighbor just like that. The kid gets along with.
Well here's the thing. Parents leave a house key with
him. So like he has to know the the
parents some and there's clearly an arrangement where he kind of
keeps an eye on the kid. You know, when the when the
parents are working late and kind of keeps keeps track of
them, some I feel about that. But yeah it's he's just the
weird neighbor dude who makes toys alone in his apartment and
in retrospect that's a lot of red flags.
It is I mean okay, but you also gotta think about how like In
like in the more rural areas of Japan like even nowadays, they
would like leave those those food stands unattended and they
have like, little notes that are, like, just leave the money
at. There's a lot of interpersonal
trust as like. Yeah, culturally that very
different from, you know, the late 60s in the United States.
So, yeah, but like yeah, I comes off as like being really kind of
weird to us but like the then I was probably like he is kind of
just like a weird Uncle, you know.
Yeah. But yeah, so Ichiro laments that
he couldn't get his vacuum tube back and he goes home and he
eats his snack and he watches TV and he pulls out like half of a
computer, just like a like a board and some parts on it.
I thought it was it was like a bad attempt at like a makeshift
radio. I it will he calls a computer?
Yeah. And at least in the Japanese
version because he's like, computer.
Take me to Monster Island though.
That's what he was going for it. Yeah, but he does start playing
pretend and he's like computer. You can Monster Island and he
imagines taking a plane there and then he's just on Monster
Island and he's like watching from the bushes while it
replays, the the scenes of Godzilla fighting came a chorus,
and then from the same bushes, he's watching Godzilla fight
like girl Soros. And the man is there, and giris
is their giant. Condor has their hey kids don't
like Godzilla monsters. Here are some of your favorites
sty just footage. I just realized that this movie
is God's. They like Godzilla.
A version of Where the Wild Things Are basically in a way.
Yeah because the kids just imagining you know it during the
day he's just daydreaming about going to Monster Island and
seeing his favorite monsters to be which is weird because how
would you be a fan? Like these are not fictional
monsters in this world like they're real Godzilla wrecked
ass in Tokyo in 1954, right? They've saved the world from
Aliens multiple times and just Just a year ago.
Well actually it would be 30 years in the future.
They would fucking destroy half the world but I can hold it
against them. Yeah, but it's just like it's
weird to think that kids it's very meta because obviously kids
were big fans of Godzilla and all these monsters, but would
you be in the world of Godzilla? An issue of Han deposits?
Yes, you would be how could you not giant monsters are cool.
I don't think that this takes place in the actual like world,
where Godzilla is a real thing? Are you sure though?
Because, I like a little Evans on the moon, but they already
had a moon base prior to this. Well, the moon bases in 1999,
though, remember, and Destroy All Monsters.
But there's also like in a, you know, it's like an alien moon
base prior to this. Yeah, good.
The aura is, I mean, look, they blew up the moon and Gore ask,
so, Although Gore f is technically not canon to this,
but gorath is Cannon to a future movie and they blew up the moon.
So, just like what in the fuck? No, no, I'm right there with
you. That's that's, that's, that's
established Canon. Yeah, definitely.
I've argued this, I've argued this at many dinner tables.
He's also, I think, but you're right.
Charlotte like, it's it, I guess it's possible to read this
through the lens of like, Not being like real but yeah I mean
I don't know that's just I thought that was anyway.
So he's watching all these. These monsters fight Godzilla
and then he falls down a hole, while running away from a come
across the nose, notices him and he climbs our rope up and out,
it gets lowered for him. And then mini is there?
Oh no. And just starts talking to him,
please. But I guess you're the English
version. Yeah.
Beers. So just like this, he sounds
kind of like redneck Barney actually.
You know what, you know what, I Derek if I could interject for a
minute I have been thinking for all of like I don't know, 15
minutes about who that guy sounded like and I realized that
he sounded like the clown from Billy Madison.
Oh my God. Hey kids.
I'm back. I'll bet you thought that I was
dead like that. It's that that's kind of some
Barney Fife, go. Going on there a little bit,
like I I lost it when that thing opened its mouth and said I was
like, okay but make no mistake. It's mouth does not open and
close when it talks yeah it just kind of Charlotte.
If that is if that is the thing that takes me out of the
believability and world than I've already lost the plot.
Oh God. It's like, look, I can accept, I
can accept everything I've seen so far, but I can't take the
fact that, that, that his mouth isn't really moving it.
He's speaking. He's speaking The King's English
with a Southern accent, like, I yeah, that know, it's, it's wild
because my one of my first thoughts went to Barney, right.
How could you not? He has that same kind of do
penis to his voice and but Barney would not be created.
For like over 15 years. After this movie was brought to
the US, somebody watch this seems like somebody.
Somebody watch this and took entirely the wrong things away
from it. Also worth noting many is now
child-sized. Just because you needed the
actor in the suit. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm sorry. What was this thing's name me?
Nia. Well that's a that's a problem
is his name is technically. Munira because many Gogeta,
right? So, technically, if you wanted
to have an English version of same, it would be many Allah
like many Godzilla, but the old dubs always called him Mania
like a, my Nya kind of how you pronounce it.
His name is now, his name is no Marlboro Ferguson.
He's a crackhead Pillsbury, Doughboy, like that's really the
important thing and now he's he's real.
Child-sized instead of half godzilla-sized because we needed
him with the on-screen with the kid.
He looked like an entity made out of silly putty given like
horrible unlife. God bless be unfinished.
Please kill me. I live every day in spite of my
Creator. Yeah every day I hold my Essence
together is another day. One.
She's my continued. Existence is a blasphemy anyway.
Go Dad. So there's a monster on the
island now named Cobra, which is named after Ichiro's bully.
And he it's also bullying Minya now so, it's crazy, huh?
Yeah Works. How would they have the exact
same name? That's so what a great
coincidence and media has a bully too wild.
I also want to point out that that Godzilla is an awful
father, because Minya is very clearly throughout the movie
blowing smoke rings. And I, any any living being that
young should not be smoking, takes away the dangers of
cigarettes are real and document.
I don't believe that it's proper for Godzilla to do.
The FDA is never proven that Vape juice will cause me of corn
Lund. It's fine.
I look like something the from inside your lungs anyway.
So, Ichiro's mom calls me Tommy, but the toy guy to tell him to
tell Ichiro that she won't be home tonight.
And then the police say the thieves, the money theater
hiding somewhere near near his mom's workplace.
So Minami goes and he tells each row.
Those mom won't be over tonight and offers to eat dinner
together so it doesn't eat alone.
No functional hot man. Yeah that actually got me
hungry. Like I was like I was that was
the best part of the movie. Honestly, probably, I was like
that shit. Look like oh, that like tender
that tender beef. Yeah, just oh, yeah, gotta go
Shabu. Yeah, I love that.
You had like a nice 12 second shot of that kid.
Just shoveling food into his going like like you remember
that? Like it was way too long.
He was just sitting. It was like that sex scene in
another Watchman on the spaceship.
That just went on way too long so I'm serious.
This is the comparison. That you want to make, yes?
Because because both made me horribly uncomfortable and I'm
like okay stop it. Like a tend to see that kids
just like there's no dialogue. It's just eating, you should
shoveling food into his face. Also there is a massive.
There's there's like a 40 on the table.
Oh yeah it was. Yeah he was absolutely
absolutely. Letting the kid drink.
I mean well there's like it's smoke in the back.
The back that leave that you sure.
Oh, Honda was intending to portray that the child was
sipping out of a 40 of malt liquor with a Shoujo or
whatever. It Derek.
I'm sorry, but that's the headcanon I tried it.
The bottle was closer to the kid than it was to the adult not by
much but from the perspective, it sure looked like that.
So it is that's the way it is. Yeah.
So each row runs outside the play.
They actually haven't eaten yet. We just talked about the eating
scene. Yeah, because it's great.
Yeah, he gets caught by the bullies again and he runs and he
runs inside an abandoned building nearby in there.
He finds a new vacuum tube and he vows not to lose this.
One of the bullies he looks outside.
The bullies are starting to show up but they get distracted by a
police car and run away and then a locker door, nearby Falls open
and reveals a headset, which he takes.
And then he also grabs an unassuming little Booklet off
the ground. And then he heads upstairs and
upstairs. The money, thieves are actually
hiding in a cabinet, but he doesn't notice them.
Ichiro pleased when he hears more sirens and then the thieves
realize that one of them has lost his passport.
But his license and everything, I do want to bring it up.
That's what Ichiro picked up as is common for this movie.
The English voices for these two are miserable those to alert him
right there. Oh, it's well, one of the guys
has very like like Barney Fife again but bitched real high.
Just complete doofus voice and the other way I do and sounds
like this but also the problem is he also suffers from like
whoever was doing that was not close to the microphone and
sound kind of like he sounds like he sounds like he sounds
like in cell Solid Snake. Okay.
Oh no. Oh, I dislike that, that's
exactly what it sounds like. Is he?
So he's here all his cough syrup.
Yeah. I didn't know what that was
about, there's no way that's alcohol.
It scoffs Europe was like, children's movie.
And that man regularly, there were regularly scenes dedicate
to that man. Long shots of him pulling a
bottle, a little brown bottle out of his jacket pocket and
taking a swig of it. Derek, did you not hear his
voice? He had a sore throat, the entire
movie, and he was just like, well, who's talking cough syrup?
Yeah. But the fucking old school cough
syrup that had Coke. Kanan it true.
So each row heads inside one of the thieves is tracking him back
to his house and Ichiro. Did we mention it's because of
the driver's license or did I cut you off?
I did say that but I think we may have talked to the same
time. Yes you're all picked up.
The guys like whole booklet with like his passport and driver's
license, everything in it so he was tracking a back home.
Each row does take a second to like play with a car that's
outside for sale. And I am noting that because so
this is when Minami in each row. Oh no.
Charlotte, because you don't
watch the English version. You missed a case of unnecessary
homophobia. Oh God.
I missed that. Ya know, the the guy that comes
out, that is selling that car that interrupts or that that
first stops the kid and then Ox to the robbers for a bit.
Oh yeah. He has the most very like Camp
gay. But like it's 1970s Camp guy.
It's very lispy and very high and oh my gosh.
Are you here to see this? Like it doesn't have this?
I can't undo the southern from my camp, but like, it's very
like, it's very like, stereotypically, like Sissy and
dandy kind of voice and I was like, you didn't need to do
this, you didn't. Even do any of that.
What's in this movie? I don't mean to say that, that
is somehow worse than the inherent racism of much of the
dub, but you didn't have to do that.
That's Splash damage, every decision they made, seems like
it was the worst possible decision to make what for the,
for the English version hundred percent.
Yeah, there's a lot of that going around at this foam.
Yeah, yeah. So now you know I mean Ichiro
eat together. Minami has a new toy that he's
making and he's basically like, okay, for eating this meal,
you'll repay me by giving me your opinion on this toy.
The police show up and they asked him an Ami about his car
because that's his car. It's being sold outside, and
they basically just warn him because thieves are out here,
stealing cars, and the thieves now nowhere like exactly where
Ichiro lives so they get ready to get their license back and
Ichiro revisits, Monster Island in his sleep.
And this time, Gabara chases him me.
Nia gets upset about the way that Godzilla's reach them and
is like, I have to learn to live on my own, which is funny, why
is the the English versions of little different.
The English version makes it more like Godzilla is not
neglectful, but is trying to teach me Nia to be
self-sufficient. Because like media talks about
like, oh, I guess we'll have to go find my dad.
I've been hiding from him. You know, he's trying to teach
me to fight my own battles but yeah, the Japanese version is a
little bit closer to Like Son of Godzilla where it's very clear
Godzilla kind of just doesn't want to be involved with this
fucking child, he found. Yeah.
And then they watch Godzilla fight every row and then he
fights come on gotta and they're like narrating the fights the
whole time. And then there's a part where
like mini actually appears In the shots and so many like walks
over there. Well, that's how Crystal has the
the voiceover like in the club's Gabrielle like reappears but
this time meeting a grows. Yeah, he just because a shower.
That's true man sizes up. Because, yeah, and, and his, his
weird Kendall crotch is right in the center.
Thank you. Oh my God, the shoves his
crotch. Right, like it's like the camera
when he's growing and like, he's, it's not like he's, you
see? He just like, gets bit.
Looks like they zoom in. He just slide shows are bigger.
But yeah. His crop has remained Center
frame his that but like, no, they Focus right on that on his
like, lizard dick. Yeah.
And it's just very reasonable. And like, and I was, I did not.
I was like, no, I wasn't prepared for this.
Like, this was the point. Point.
This was the point where I was like, looking at my clock.
I was like this movie's over soon, right?
Like you were like it halfway fuck.
It's got to be soon. It's got to be soon somehow.
This is one of the shorter movies that we've watched may be
the shortest, but this felt like the longest.
And in the only one that might be as short, if not shorter, I
think they're in the unbelievable was.
Similarly, very short, but feel, but ver in the unbelievable also
had an extremely troubled production, right?
So, So many a tries to fight. Gabara does very little to him
and so they Ichiro and Molina run away.
I love, Gabara Nick's camera like rolls him up.
First off camera, picks him up, just slams him around a bit and
then roll them into a ball and kicks him.
Like a soccer ball. Yeah, Ichiro.
And like media shrinks is he's rolling so that he's normal size
by the time he reaches Ichiro. But oh my God, fucking owned
rocket own. There's nothing wrong with that
at all. Now, it's what mean you
deserves? Honestly, I'm on Gabara side.
Like, I don't want to get ahead of and like, push back against
the message of this movie, but like gabbar has in the right,
I'm team Gabara. Yeah, absolutely.
That goes against everything you're supposed to be feeling,
but Yeah. Well you know what, this, you
know, what would be more sympathetic protagonist?
Yeah, give me a. Give me a protagonist.
That isn't just. Doesn't look like a like a what
a butter and ashtray disaster. Like just give me, give me
anything else. Literally, I can't think it's, I
think it's because I watched the Japanese version.
We look at that thing. I can't empathize with that.
Like, I can't, I can't feel bad for that.
Like, it's not supposed to exist.
And yet, here it is. It's walking earth now.
So they, they run away, and there's jets flying over the
island, Godzilla fights off the Jets, and then he sits down.
And he beckons me Nia over the try to teach him how to use
Atomic breath. Which is the the seam read, like
get stale stepped on, and then Ichiro gets grabbed by the
thieves in his sleep. And when she envisions in the
dream as the the leaves like coming alive and grabbing him,
which is actually a pretty good shot because you never did not
see. See Leaf man in the foliage
until after it had already grabbed him.
So I'm gonna give him that one, you know, me does come to try to
check on them, but the door is locked.
And so the thieves bring about that special building, its it
is, but he's just like, hey, you don't know, I don't like this
kid. Anyway, the thieves were going
back to that abandoned building and they grabbed the license,
and then they go to steal minami's car outside.
But minami's, eating at a street vendor.
Booth so he's distracted, Ichiro.
Like slowly covers this whole with newspaper and like, like
really hoping one of the one of the bees will fall down the hole
that he's covered up. And then he starts chanting
media's name and he like goes back to Monster Island in his
mind and media is fighting Gabara again.
And Gabrielle has like these electric attacks.
Yeah, he may strike and Shan electricity from like his horn.
Own through his arms. Yeah.
So I could do that. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
You gotta remember up to this point Godzilla monsters have not
really had powers, right? They've just been big things,
right? Godzilla has his Atomic breath
and King. Ghidorah has those, you know,
gravity bolts but Godzilla and King Ghidorah the only monsters
with what seemed like what you could call Powers and here's
Gabrielle Gabrielle has just yeah, it's happy.
Ann's. Yeah.
Actually, you cannot will get into it, but I do think a
Burrows kind of interesting team camera.
I'm telling you. So, mania runs back to Godzilla
and Godzilla's, like, no need to fight that thing.
And so media goes back and tries.
Again continues to get shocked and then Godzilla finally steps
in Gabara ends up stepping on like a downed tree and the mini
a jumps on the other side, like a seesaw and gets launched away.
Which that's right. When I sent you that that scene
about what they call Gabara and that particular situation.
Yeah, yeah. And then Godzilla and be near
like celebrating and hugging the think you ever like trust the
bike? Godzilla's leg.
And then Godzilla. Finally, he's like, you know
what? No, I'm done and actually fights
Gabara, and then after beating up gabber Godzilla turns towards
Ichiro, like he's about to kill him, but each row does why?
Up, I do want to talk about so because of course, first me Nia
seesaw, tosses Gabara and gabbar.
Does that fucking somersault through the air to land on his
face? And then when he's fighting
Godzilla Godzilla, picks him up and just fucking shoulder,
Chuck's him through the air and once again, throws this
motherfucker right on his face and it got it's hard not to feel
kind of bad for Gabara. No, it's not like hell.
Yeah. Somebody got their ass whooped
at this point. This point, I would like
everybody involved not just in the movie, but in the making of
this movie, you like, and like I'm like, I wish like basically
it's like, you know, I have no, my pain is sharp and constant.
And I don't hope for a better tomorrow for anyone, this point.
And so one of the thieves grabs Ichiro because he's like
screaming from from The Nightmare because he thinks he's
about to be eaten and the things the decided they're going to
take Ichiro hostage and they are they're trying to get away using
minami's car, but it won't start.
And so in the back seat of the car, Ichiro, finally gets his
gag off and starts running away and he like mimics what?
I mean, he's biting attacks from earlier to get away and he heads
back into the abandoned building and hides in there and the
thieves go in there. Trying to Item.
And he like, evades him for a while.
While Minami outside, finally realizes that something's going
on with this car, you know, he gets in there, he finds the
money back. Immediately calls the police
wrong. You keep some of that money.
You stuff like two, bundles, in your pockets and pretend that
they weren't there, then you call the police.
Well, and then I assured, yeah it's already recording
conversation. I'll go on the record.
That's a finder's fee. It's the bank's money.
It's not like they robbed an old folks home or an animal shelter.
It's a fucking bank. Eric, I agree with you so that
that whole that Ichiro covered earlier, finally pays off.
And one of the one of the thieves falls into it and then
the other ones like tripping over everything and he chose to
start throwing trash at him. But he pulls out this knife and
each girl likes praise him with a fire extinguisher and finally,
the police show up and they see each row in the thieves, leaving
the building that these get arrested and then like each row
goes back home, each Rose. Mom, is there the next day?
She's like, okay, I'm sorry, I won't work nights anymore, but
he chose like no, that's fine. I can handle myself clearly.
Yeah. And the Porter's, show up, Wiley
chosen ones with the school and ask him about it.
Like what happened? How did you feel?
And he's like, no, I wasn't alone.
Media was with me and then minami's, like, for adults,
there is God, but for children, there is Media the god, which
explains a lot about children. That's a weird start walking him
in in it, okay? So, this is one of the only
times where I think the American version might have done
something better. Which is basically they talked
about how we all have like people we look up to to inspire
us and for this kid monsters are his inspiration.
Yeah, that makes me miss instead.
Yeah, the God. Yeah.
Pooh boy, Mania is God really. No, that's a world.
I don't want to be a part of It's the world is movie takes
place. I'm not God, but he did create
Me In His Image. So that's Chico and Ichiro.
Start walking to school. They can head It Off by the bull
is again and the bullies are like, you're finally cooled, you
want to join us and he's like, no I hate bullies.
And he fights Cobra and winds. And then he just he goes and he
haunts the motorcycle horn, they were daring and the honk.
Anyway, darling the gone, the ladder and he gets paint all
over him. So all the kids are running away
and Ichiro runs past his dad and the train again.
And he's like, hey, I did the thing behind me.
Please apologize for me. And then he screams an apology
to the painter. Yeah, he like, he's like, he's
like I'm sorry my son assaulted you like and then gets out like
tries to fight. The guy who makes here.
All all Ichiro did was honk the motorcycle horn.
It's not like each other without boy through.
Yeah. Through paint at the Cowboy, the
cowboy did that to himself? Well, I don't mean to defend
this, because here's the thing. Lets, you know, for a movie,
that's about like anti-bullying, he sure.
Does immediately after defeating his bully go and do the thing
that the bully asked him to do, that's what I was gonna say to
win this going to get his approval.
So little bit of a mixed message, But yeah, he screams an
apology back to the painter and then the kids go to school.
And that's it. That was the whole movie.
That's the movie. Yeah.
Oh fuck. I'm really angry you for forcing
me. So what's so?
Here's here's the thing. Um, let's talk about the
monsters before we go into getting into behind the movie.
So, first and foremost, is me Nia?
Who I think is the same suit. I know.
It's still march and the dwarf playing media.
I think it's the same suit that we saw in Son of Godzilla and
Destroy All Monsters but it's really upsetting to see it next
to just a human child. I don't like it.
He's got five teeth total, which might explain why, he bloody all
I counted three. He's got three on top and two on
the bottom, okay? But they're like also just long
pegs. Weirdly long pegs.
I hate it. Somebody.
Somebody got some Kabob, skewers.
And, yeah, we need teeth in this costume.
Get those Kabob skewers from like, like, fucking gerbil
teeth. And then there's also a like an
animatronic head. They use in a couple of close
ups which was deeply unsettling. Yeah.
Look, we rag'd on Mania so hard incentive Godzilla and clearly
we don't have that out of our system.
Yet mean, he's like the most controversial part of Godzilla
fandom. In at least, in regards to the
showa era at this point and I cannot stress enough, like your,
how you feel about this movie is going to be tied directly to how
much meaning you can stomach, which in my case is almost none.
None. Yeah, 00.
Yeah. Somehow.
It looked way more melted than I remember.
It's weathered after a couple of years that's because well, no,
like Like that's because the numerous Souls of murdered
people that they use to give life to the media automaton.
Slowly kind of like the wind to go like when it possesses a
person according to Algonquin lure like it quickly decays the
body of the person because of the because of the like the
sheer Darkness within it. Like I imagine that's probably
what happened, what's happening? See I was, that's my theory.
I was just going to ask if y'all remember Frosty the Snowman.
Yeah, yes, I do. Yeah.
But I do in fact, remember Frosty, but, yeah, Mina Mina is
rough and Just Like, Son of Godzilla was very heavily
impacted by how much me you could handle.
So is this movie? The difference is Son of
Godzilla, didn't have this much me.
Nia and most of the time. Well, none of the time he was
fucking talking. I'll give you that.
That makes this so much worse. What was the, what was the, what
was the thinking behind that particular creative decision?
I mean, you got to remember, this was a movie made and
targeted directly at children. So I like you have to give it a
bit of leeway. This was not meant to be a big
sci-fi Blockbuster. This was a children's movie
about bullying released as part of a film festival, cobbled
together from a lot of stock footage.
So I do want to again and again like the Is version is a lot
better by virtue of the fact that it is it awfully fucking
racist, but I do. I do think it's pretty cool that
they taught you. Like, I think the, like, the
core message of the movie is, if you see anything like, like that
horrible Abomination, real life? Bully it.
Yeah. Like, you should absolutely
believe that. Yeah.
It's like the movies about bullying, but the solution to
bullying is beat beat up. Your bullies, absolutely h.
Actually, I mean, kind of Honda, I'm kind of with you, maybe,
like, maybe beat up your bullies.
Beat the shit out of your maybe. Maybe you again, maybe kick the
shit out of your bullies. Maybe he's Justified you're
gonna get suspended from school, but like nobody's gonna know
he's gonna screw the anymore. Yeah, look, I'm going to say
this as somebody who is mercilessly fucking bullied.
Not reacting, never stopped any of the people who Lead me, you
want to know the one motherfucker who did stop
bullying. Me is the person that I fought
back against and I mean, he will beat my ass but like I fought
back and ever fuck with me no more.
So like maybe I should have fought more people in middle
school is what I'm saying? Absolutely.
Yeah. I'll endorse that.
Yeah that's that's that is a an official message from us here at
Castle Bravo is be done until my son, my 14 year old, like fight
as many people as you can. Well, the bullies, you're
bullies like Bad guy. Not just I said, what?
No, no, I specified that. I told him.
I said when you're in school, you see a bully.
I want you to become Vengeance. Be God night.
I say this, but I am team Gabara, so, but that really has
more to do with my intense visceral hatred of media.
I will gladly be a hypocrite in that one.
Instant, I guess I guess my whole thing about that and the
reason that I'm not like enthusiastically endorsing being
teen gabriela's because like many has clearly just tear off.
Ha, you won't write roads. Just a cage, roads.
A kid doesn't deserve to be bullied.
He's just a kid out there, living his life, he's got no
parenting. He's, you know, got himself a
little girlfriend, he has an active imagination, great good
kid, nothing wrong with that. It is not, but he could have
chosen a better for Sona is really, I guess what?
I'm trying to get at technically, he'd be a scaly.
He's changed a lot of people's outlook on this movie really
quickly. Um, before we talk about
Gabrielle, let's talk very briefly about Godzilla.
So I think Godzilla's still using the same suit as Destroy
All Monsters. But the problem is it looks good
because this movie is so heavily made out of stock footage,
there's like three different Godzilla suits and three
drastically. Different looking Godzilla suits
that he switches between Shot to shot because anything new that
they shot uses the Destroy, All Monsters suit but then some of
it uses the suit from abdera. Some of it uses the suit from
Son of Godzilla which looked very very different.
And I think one or two of the underwater shots even used the
suit from like you Dora. The three-headed monster which
they held onto and wreak since it was in worse shape, they used
it for a lot of the underwater. You know, scenes because they
didn't want the nice new suits to get damaged, but yes, that's
very distracting. Unfortunately, in a way that
Godzilla has not been up to this point to me and there's camera,
and I mean, I've said, I'm team Gabara, I really like Gabara.
I really like gabbers design got this kind of Japanese ogre thing
going on. That is a really interesting.
Look, I really like the eyes are very This is a very unique and
weird Roar that John said, what it's like haunted by nightmares.
Yeah. Yeah.
I hate it, right. It sounds like sounds like, it
sounds like a billy goat had just done.
Like, it's just like snorted a line of ants.
That's the best way I can describe it.
I mean, it is, it's like it's an upsetting kind of Roar, but like
it's very memorable and it works perfectly for what they're
trying to set up is the This extremely unlikable, you know,
gross, big bully monster. It's certainly better than the
donkey noises they use for me. Nia God.
Yeah, it's not my favorite. Yeah, yeah.
So this movie directed by ishiro, Honda as mentioned
before, Honda look. We've had a couple of these were
like, we turned out to really like the movie and then Honda's
like yeah, I don't feel great about how this one turned out.
This is the exact opposite. I don't like this movie and
Honda, Honda is proud of it, but I think that's because Honda's
proud of like making a thing for kids.
That's it. That's the thing.
You can't divorce from the situation.
I'm not a kid, right? As a kid.
I kind of like the movie, but found it, cheesy and hokey.
I think largely because of the poor English dub of the movie
which was, oh my God. But like, Honda set out to make
a kids movie about latchkey kids and about bullying and about
standing up for yourself and he did that and he did that on
almost no budget. And now, you know, he's happy
with the work, he turned out for what it was, which I think is
important to keep in context that he was, again, not making a
big Blockbuster but, you know, a children's movie for a film
festival. Yeah, you know, how mom will
give him that? We've got to talk.
I before before we go on, we've already talked about, this is
this is going to be the last thing we talked about how we
feel about this movie, but I've just, I've got a call out to
make. I need, I need to take the
stand, we're canceling a motherfucker today.
So this movie, I know that a lot of these movies were dubbed in
Hong Kong, right? And that was my thought going
into this movie. I'm used to the often bad kind
of stilted awkward dubs because it's Hong Kong actors, you know
who are multilingual. Speaking English, you know,
because they were cheap labor to get these dubbed over.
I if I remember correctly, like RKO was Infamous for doing that
but I was looking into this movie because this movie was
real bad, like I remember thinking like this is rough and
John was like, this is This is racist.
You were telling the early in the movie.
You were like. This is not your, like, I'm not
comfortable with this. Yeah.
And I would do. Yeah.
And I was like, well, I think it's a Hong Kong dub, but I
looked it up while we were watching to confirm because I
like to be as accurate as possible.
And this fucking movie was dubbed at writer sound Studios
in Hollywood, California with the translation and, and, and
voiceover work. Overseen by one Riley.
Jackson, mr. Riley Jackson.
I am coming for your ass. What in the fuck was going on
with this fucking movie? What, in God's name made?
You think that you could go full Mickey, Rooney and Breakfast at
Tiffany's, which is a reference. I know I continue to make
because it's one of these singularly like most anti-asian
like Moments in American Cinema Breakfast at Tiffany's, was what
your God. I can look it up. 1 1961.
Okay, okay, okay, so yeah, it's fair for me to keep saying
because we're now this movie was brought to the u.s. in 1971.
So this is a full Ten Years After Breakfast at Tiffany's.
And this dude this man must have bought five tickets to Breakfast
at Tiffany's just for the Mickey Rooney seats.
Like, This, truly fucking disgusting unwashed ass, made
inless. Hope you never reproduce fucking
energy. Riley fucking Jess.
I looked up. This man's IMDb page.
I was gonna die. I'm telling you if it was
possible I would have What in the shit?
The only merciful thing is his IMDb page is very short.
He did not get a hand in very many movies, presumably because
a crowd of Asian Americans and It's the only acceptable
response If the message of this movie is to fight back against
your bullies, Riley, fucking Jackson is a bully and every
Asian American and his neighborhood.
Deserved at least one good. I am, I am.
What the fuck? Yeah, I like clicked through the
English version and like I like I said, I had to do like, a
double take. I was like there's no fucking
way that these kids sound like this.
In this movie. There's no way Jesus fucking
Christ. Like, I'm John.
So, I was going to say, like, I so so when they first started
talking like, like it really hit me like, it really not even
comfortable like when like like doing an impression.
Freshen because it's no, I deeply racist, like no, like I
would have to take myself out back, like it really hit me when
the two thieves started talking. Oh, I was like, man.
I was like, oh God. This is, this is hmm.
And it's, so now Derek. Now, that you've now that we've
learned because because we were in an impression while we were
watching it that this was dubbed in Hong Kong, right?
And I was like, I'm not going to judge.
People for whom English is not their first language on their
pronunciation and inflict inflections in English.
But know, this shit was done in the in California cooking for
Nia in true. California liberal fashion like
just the most deeply fucking race this motherfucker.
Probably thought he was so cool. Oh my God.
I'm so I'm so done with Riley fucking Jackson and writers.
Sound Studios, Jesus Christ. I bet this motherfucker, if he's
alive today, I bet he would have voted for Obama for a third
term. You know what I mean?
Like oh, I hate this man. I hate this man so much like
it's actually more my feelings on this movie are more
powerfully affected by that Revelation, then by my sleep
paralysis demon me. Nia This is why it's been so
important for me. When we started Castle Bravo to
watch, every one of these movies that we could in there Japanese
versions and why, I think every movie after this one, I have
sourced Japanese versions of unless it's a Hollywood movie,
right? The 1998.
Godzilla is going to be the American version, the legendary
One's Gonna Be the American version But we'd seen a couple
English versions, they've all been rough and this is really
the point that really brought me to a head of exactly how
damaging and racist many of these American versions of these
movies were and how much they fed into Auntie Asian
stereotypes in terms of, you know, goofy voices and and, you
know, speech impediments and so on.
And so, So forth. And like I'm embarrassed that
this was a part of my childhood and I'm glad we're now going
back and re correcting it and seeing the original versions of
a lot of these movies and seeing them for the, the work that went
into them, basically, instead of the, the cheap things that they
were turned into to fill Hollywood Video store shelves.
I'm mad y'all. I'm just I'm just like deflated.
Yeah, like like I don't ever make me do this again so here's
the good thing. Okay, you have sat through, not
only what is generally considered the worst Godzilla
movie of all time and a truly awful racist version of that as
well. But as a reward you're coming
back and season for for one of The most beloved, and highly
respected Godzilla, movies of all time.
That's fantastic Derek because I cannot do this again.
You were coming back for a movie.
That is known by fans as gmk Godzilla Mothra King Ghidorah
giant monsters. All out attack, it's a stupidly
long title so that's why people just call it gmk, but it is a
fantastic Standalone film. That is a really impressive
piece of practical effects work for its Time a very serious
story and very edgy. I told you.
That's the one where Godzilla is a vessel for all the souls of
American and Japanese soldiers who died in the Pacific during
World War 2. He wasn't already know.
No Godzilla was originally just a representation of, you know,
Atomic power, gone wrong and the bombings of Hiroshima and
Nagasaki. But like in that movie,
Godzilla's literally, full Of ghosts and it's pretty fucking
sick, but we'll get to that in like two fucking years.
For now, we're here. How do y'all feel about this
movie? Where's our finals?
I'm trying my best not to feel about this movie honestly, you
know, goddamn well. How I feel about this movie so
Derek? I got to tell you, um, The
night. We watch that.
Which was it was what? Like, it's Wednesday night.
Yeah. Wednesday.
Last Wednesday. We watch the movie.
I was real sad after we after after we watch the movie I
poured myself a double and I went outside.
It was like say it was like 21 degrees out.
I went outside barefoot and stood in the grass.
And I drank my double because I was conducting an experiment.
Derek, I wanted to see whether or not I could even feel pain
and discomfort whether or not Winters by would even affect you
anymore. It's so I stood there in the in
the wet grass at night 20-degree, weather drinking my
double. With no no shoes or socks on
just standing in the grass as you can fucking hillbilly.
What I normally don't do that. See that's the thing.
Like I normally don't do that. I was testing myself to see if I
could still feel and after a while after a while.
Finally. The like I started to feel pain
in my feet after about maybe three hours Hours, 3 hours.
At that point out there for three hours.
Oh, yeah. And I started crying because I
knew that I knew that I knew that, no matter how I was
relieved, it was it was it was there were tears of relief
because I thought to myself, my Humanity still here, I can still
feel, I can still, I can still feel pain and sorrow and so I
can't I wept a little bit. I came back inside and I Lapsed
into Vicki's arms, just sobbing. And she said, honey, what's
wrong? And I said, I said, I'm, it's
still me. I was so afraid that I'd lost an
essential part of myself tonight, but I'm still here.
It's still me and the dogs ran up to me and they didn't know
what was going on. Vicki, didn't what was going on?
But she was happy that, you know, I was still I was still
fundamentally who I woke up that morning as though I will say
that. As I went to sleep that I had
like, you know, foot warmers on to the kind of like fight off
the frostbite that it said, in standing in the grass.
I thought to myself long and hard I thought, you know, even
though, I even though, I feel like I passed the test and I,
you know, I'm fundamentally, I fundamentally remained John I
still feel like the John that the John that sat down at that
computer, who watched that movie sort like I don't want to say
died but but sort of I guess faded away into the either and
the John that re-emerged an hour and 10 minutes later was a
little wiser a little more introspective.
A little sadder but also at the end of the day a little more
hope because I figured no matter what I do with my life.
Nothing could be as gut-wrenching and painful as
that experience. What?
I don't want to warn everyone out there might consider
watching Godzilla's Revenge in the future, what will happen to
you is? In fact, Godzilla's Revenge, I
don't know what we did. You deserve it?
I don't know. I don't know why he decided to.
I don't know why he decided that we deserved this.
I don't know why he decided that we needed this, but he it's out
there and I want you to know that that there are.
I've started a support group you can.
It's it's a survivors of Godzilla's Revenge dot dot org.
There's a forum. You can visit other people like
you who have watched this. Tin Can can post and and like
talk each other through their troubles, it's a safe space for
anybody who has, who has experienced, you know, and even
my brain has actually blocked the memory of that creatures
name. I'm going to buy survivors of
Godzilla's Revenge.com and just redirected to your Twitter
profile. That's fine.
If you're on Twitter and you're
hearing this, you can always and You've seen Godzilla's Revenge
in your and you think it might be in the room with you?
Then any given time? Let me know will first call the
authorities. Call them that Godzilla's
Revenge is somewhere in the house.
You don't know where and lock, you know, locked yourself in a
secure room and shoot me a DM. I can, I can help you talk.
I can help talk. That's how I feel about
Godzilla. Charlotte.
Did you have an existential crisis?
No, I just read it sucked but I've okay, it's fully admit
while I did not question my Humanity.
There was a part of me that worried that when I went to
sleep, that night, I would open my eyes in the dream world.
And I would see mean you waiting for me on Monster Island and I'm
just glad that didn't happen. I I edited this movie because
there was no, like, Blu-ray release of Godzilla's Revenge,
the American cut. So, I went through the process
of like re cutting and putting the new audio track, like
remastering the audio track. You know, somebody out there had
done like a, an HD re-edit that had like a re-creation of the
opening and ending credits that I cribbed alongside like footage
from a JAP like I put work. Into creating and destroying.
I don't think I can because I think it contains a part of my
soul now. So I have the world's only
Blu-ray quality copy of the English version of this movie
and I don't like that. But here we are.
I'm going to lock it away. Do we have anything else?
Jesus Christ. That thank fucking God, is a
wrap on this episode. Thank you all so much for
joining us on our journey so far.
John you got any pluggable? Yeah actually everything I use
my computer my place shut the fuck up social media links.
Oh okay. Yeah you can follow me at
magitek Dad where I talk about Video games and Bully bad people
and you can also find me therapy for having watched Godzilla's.
Oh God. Same you can follow us on
Twitter. Maybe for not much longer for
more of our sparkling personalities.
I'm at Derby City. Derek?
I'm at this Arrow complex. We didn't do one of these.
No, we gave up yeah. So I didn't get the spell it
because I only do it on odd. Numbered episodes.
I'm not scared. We gotta stick to the odd
numbers, right? Yeah.
And you can follow the show itself at Castle Bravo.
Pod for production updates. Take care, everyone.
Don't watch. Godzilla's Revenge.
Castle Bravo is a production of Derek Van Dyke and Charlotte
landel. All editing is performed by
Derek Van Dyke special thanks to Kiri a Lamont for our art assets
and to David Van Dyke for our theme song pools of memory.