1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,960 Well, hello ladies and gents, Robert Sykes, Keto, savage.com 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,600 and today is going to be basically a follow up to the 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,720 last podcast to the last podcast I recorded with Crystal. 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:15,640 We dove into the four of the five pillars of our life with 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,680 regard to the tensegrity model, some of the things that we're 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,680 excited about post competition and just how we plan on making 7 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,320 those five pillars grow in unison. 8 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,400 But we didn't get a chance to talk about the fifth pillar 9 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,880 which was spirituality because Rigel woke up from his nap and 10 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,240 we got interrupted. So I wanted to record a stand 11 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:39,360 alone podcast all on spirituality and how that was 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,240 massively impacted as a result of this competition prep. 13 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,920 So that is what this podcast entails. 14 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:53,640 This is 40 minutes of me wading through my thoughts and figuring 15 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:58,600 out how to verbalize it. So there's no guess on this one. 16 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,440 This is just me talking. This is a topic that I don't 17 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:06,360 normally talk about on a podcast and I just want to be fully 18 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,920 transparent with y'all. So that is what this is. 19 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,320 Again, this is unrehearsed, unrefined and unpolished. 20 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,800 But that's just the reality. It is very transparent, it's 21 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,800 raw, you get that for sure. So if you have any interest in 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:27,160 that component of the five pillar consecrity model, my take 23 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,080 on spirituality and how that was impacted by this prep, that is 24 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:35,080 what this podcast is all about. So hopefully you enjoy and take 25 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,680 something from it. I am totally open to suggestions 26 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:42,200 on anything that I talk about with this podcast. 27 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,880 So if if y'all have found any articles, books, podcast 28 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:51,480 resources that shed more light on these questions, by all means 29 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,120 send them my way. Thank you very much and I 30 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,440 appreciate y'all listening. Without further delay. 31 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,800 Sit back, relax, enjoy my thoughts on spirituality. 32 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,080 All right ladies and gentlemen, we are live, so I'm super 33 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,000 excited to dive into this podcast. 34 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,440 This is going to be a little bit different than my normal 35 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,200 content. It's not really health and 36 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:27,440 nutrition related per SE, but it has stemmed from my endeavours 37 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,200 in this last competition prep. So I feel like it is relevant in 38 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,880 that sense. So when it comes to the, the 39 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,920 last podcast I recorded was with Crystal and we talked about the 40 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,280 five pillars of our tensegrity model. 41 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:45,240 You know, really doubling down on health, wealth, new 42 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,920 relationships, self development and spirituality. 43 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:53,320 Those are kind of the five core pillars that we believe to be 44 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,680 the most impactful in our lives and just kind of how we separate 45 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,000 everything. But doing so in a way that 46 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:03,520 everything builds upon the whole via this model of tensegrity as 47 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:08,360 opposed to a work life balance. Tensegrity being that everything 48 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:13,640 may put pressure on one another, but that tensional force creates 49 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,400 tensional integrity that makes everything benefit. 50 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,080 So that's kind of how I like to think. 51 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,720 That's the lens I like to look through my life in. 52 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:27,680 And one of the we we we dove into four of those five pillars 53 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,120 in the last podcast. So definitely listen to that one 54 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,360 if you had not already. But we didn't have time because 55 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:35,160 Ryja woke up to dive into the fifth one which is spirituality. 56 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,360 So I kind of wanted to do a stand alone podcast on that 57 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:43,560 specifically because that area, that pillar has seen quite a lot 58 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,600 of change because of this competition prep that I have 59 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,600 just you know, rounded out. So here we go on that topic. 60 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,440 So when it comes to spirituality, I don't normally 61 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,120 talk about this or any of my platforms. 62 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:01,080 I feel like I don't really talk about anything that's not that 63 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,800 spirituality should be polarizing, but I don't want to 64 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,640 talk about anything that I don't talk about politics. 65 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,680 I don't want to talk about spirituality or religion. 66 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,800 I don't want to talk about anything that has so many 67 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:15,080 varying points of view and is not my area of expertise. 68 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,360 There's a lot of noise out there online. 69 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,640 Everybody's got their own opinion. 70 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,120 I've got my own opinion on things. 71 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,480 But if I feel like I can't add value to the people listening or 72 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,400 the people consuming my content because I don't know what I'm 73 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,920 talking about or it's not my place, I don't like contributing 74 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,800 to that noise that is out there. So that's why I don't really 75 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,240 talk about the politics and things like that. 76 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,760 Now when it comes to spirituality, that's a chapter 77 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,600 in my life that I'm not opposed to talking about, but most 78 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:49,240 people are coming to me for advice on natural bodybuilding, 79 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,440 nutrition training, things of that nature. 80 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,240 So kind of a different wheelhouse. 81 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:58,560 However, this competition prep really acted as an awakening 82 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,680 from a spirituality standpoint and I am trying to incorporate 83 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,240 more of the Live Savage principles into my content. 84 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:09,920 So it seemed fitting to talk about that aspect of my life on 85 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,440 this podcast rounding out that five pillar consecrity model. 86 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,400 So that is kind of like a long winded introduction as to why 87 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,320 I'm even speaking about this in the 1st place. 88 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,480 I have utmost respect for everybody's points of view. 89 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,720 I'm not trying to be polarizing at all. 90 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,840 I certainly don't have all the answers. 91 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,680 This is me wading through the questions that I have and 92 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,800 learning as I go and just simply being transparent in that 93 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,920 department. So let's talk about my 94 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:41,520 relationship with spirituality and how it kind of was shaped or 95 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,920 formed as a result of this competition prep. 96 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:51,440 So when it comes to competitions in general, I've done 5 97 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:55,040 different competitive seasons and each one has seen me in a 98 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,400 very different chapter of my life. 99 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,880 Each one has been transformative in its own right. 100 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,920 And I've kind of talked a little bit in the past about how each 101 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,240 of those have been impactful in the past. 102 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,160 This one specifically was unique in that all those other areas of 103 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,880 my life, like, you know, the business, the relationship, 104 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:15,120 moving, all that stuff that took place, college, a career, all 105 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,520 that stuff that took place before now, those were all 106 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,480 during other competition preps and and those preps were hard 107 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,560 because of those massive shifts in life. 108 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,080 Now I've I've got a pretty solid foundation. 109 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,880 I've I've got a wife. I've got a son. 110 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,480 I've got a business. I've got my my foundation is 111 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:38,040 relatively solid in that I know who I am, what my purpose in 112 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,400 life is, and what I'm called to do. 113 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:44,200 So I wasn't really battling with those questions. 114 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,560 Throughout this competition. Prep, this prep was 115 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,320 transformative from a spiritual standpoint. 116 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:55,680 Because I wasn't distracted by those other things, I was able 117 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:01,440 to just really become inward and reflective and really think 118 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:07,240 about who I am, what I stand for, what my place is in the 119 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,520 world, what my purpose is in life, and what's it all for in 120 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,600 the 1st place. And I think that may have been 121 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,640 one of the main reasons that this Prep specifically was a 122 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,680 catalyst for this spiritual awakening of sorts. 123 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:26,400 So that that's my theory there. Plus, when you're in a Prep, you 124 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,840 are incredibly depleted. I mean, I was pushing the 125 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,560 envelope further than I've ever pushed it before. 126 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,040 With this prep specifically, I'd gotten leaner than I'd never 127 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,880 gotten before. I'd gotten lighter than I'd ever 128 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:43,800 gotten before, and I had gotten just more dialed in than I'd 129 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,000 never gotten before. But I pushed it to a point that 130 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,640 is certainly unhealthy from a sustainable lifestyle. 131 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,080 You know, perspective. I mean right now I don't know 132 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,400 what I am this instant upon this recording, but the last blood 133 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,800 work I got showed my total testosterone to be 86 which is 134 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,840 down in the tank. My calories got down as low as 135 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:10,000 about 1500 which is incredibly low for me being my maintenance 136 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:15,600 is around 3033 hundred. My body fat got down to sub 4%. 137 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,640 My hormones were obviously affected. 138 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,400 Lots of physiological changes are taking place when you get 139 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,080 that low, like your hair stops growing as much, your 140 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,840 fingernails stop growing as much, but you're just incredibly 141 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,880 depleted. Like, I'm really dialing in my 142 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,799 water and my electrolytes, but you get lightheaded. 143 00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:37,039 There was a few times where I had gotten really lightheaded 144 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:40,440 upon standing quickly. There's two times actually where 145 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,240 I legitimately passed out, which I've never had happened before. 146 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,480 So that was interesting and I can talk more about that later. 147 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:53,080 But all that to say, I was incredibly depleted throughout 148 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:58,040 this prep and I didn't really let that slow me down. 149 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,560 I mean, I kept doing all the responsibilities that I had to 150 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,840 do. Like I still was a father to 151 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,120 Rigel. I was still maintaining all my 152 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,400 business responsibilities. We were doing a lot of physical 153 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,840 labor while we were going throughout this prep. 154 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,920 So on top of the normal gym training, cardio sessions, 155 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,240 posing routines, which are all very physically demanding, I was 156 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:21,600 also building a fence, driving T post, digging post holes. 157 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,800 I mean, like doing things that most competitive natural 158 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,360 bodybuilders are probably not doing as deep into a prep as I 159 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,200 was doing. But all that to say, I was 160 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:38,880 pushing my body and my brain to the NTH degree and that took its 161 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,800 toll on me physically and mentally. 162 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:47,280 But I liked what resulted from that because when you are so 163 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,720 depleted, nare I say, when you are literally on the brink of 164 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:58,480 death, you have this new found sense of just self preservation 165 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,920 that takes hold. I mean, you are literally living 166 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:06,840 minute to minute, moment to moment, like you, you you can't 167 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:11,040 even begin to fathom what next week or next month is going to 168 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,360 entail because you are just trying to simply get to the next 169 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,120 hour. And I like that state. 170 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,240 I I wouldn't want to stay there indefinitely, but I like that 171 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,520 state because it makes you really appreciate the moment 172 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:30,480 that you're in there just becomes this sense of of 173 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:36,160 solitude and presence about you that is hard to describe unless 174 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,400 you've been there before. Like when you are literally 175 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,600 living minute to minute, moment to moment, just trying to get it 176 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:48,640 through that moment in time. You can't allow distractions 177 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,760 into your life. You have to have a structure, a 178 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:58,800 plan, a protocol, and you just simply go through life in a very 179 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,600 present state of mind. And that was definitely the case 180 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,480 for me. And in doing that, I just am 181 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:11,880 able to really become honest with myself, brutally honest, 182 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:19,240 brutally reflective and just transparent with my own self, my 183 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,680 own thoughts. So many people that are forced 184 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:27,920 into, you know, a life filled with distractions and outside 185 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,720 noise find it nearly impossible to figure out who they are, what 186 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,720 they're comprised of, and what they're doing here in this 187 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,880 world. And when you strip away all that 188 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,800 noise, all that distraction and all that chaos because you 189 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:45,720 simply can't physically afford to have it in your life, then 190 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:49,840 mentally you become enlightened, so to speak. 191 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:57,080 You have this, this incredible sense of self preservation, self 192 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:03,760 reflectiveness and just self. You know, honesty like who are 193 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:09,440 you and what are you doing here? And that said, without or 194 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:17,360 throughout this prep I I kept finding myself wanting to do 195 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,200 things different than I had done in preps prior. 196 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:24,160 In preps prior, I put all of the weight on my own shoulders and 197 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:28,320 that forced me to become a person I didn't want to become. 198 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,000 Like. I would get very aggressive, I 199 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,440 would get very frustrated, I'd be very irritable, I would lash 200 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:38,040 out at people and I didn't want that to be the case, especially 201 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,840 now that I have a son. I wanted this prep to be 202 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,800 different and I went into it with that mentality. 203 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,560 Like I wanted to be a very positive person throughout this 204 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:51,600 prep and I was like I never once lashed out and and you can 205 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,120 listen to the podcast today with Crystal and she can attest to 206 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,520 that and I'm very proud of that. But I think one of the main 207 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:02,360 reasons I was able to accomplish that is because I just leaned in 208 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:09,840 to this sense of gratitude and awareness and appreciation. 209 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:16,760 And in doing that, I also leaned into the ability to just simply 210 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,280 let go. Like, I didn't put the weight of 211 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:26,000 this prep on my shoulders. I did everything that needed to 212 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,280 be done. I didn't deviate from the 213 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,880 macros, the training, or the cardio or the posing or 214 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,680 anything. Like I had a better prep than 215 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:38,880 I've ever had before and I brought a better package than 216 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:46,360 never had before. But I surrendered that sense of 217 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:54,320 just like misery, like I didn't. In the past, I would associate 218 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:59,440 being miserable with doing the right thing and being intense 219 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,720 and just simply going as hard as I could. 220 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:08,120 I went harder than I'd ever gone before with this prep, but I 221 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:12,480 wasn't miserable with it. And the main reason I think that 222 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:18,080 is the case is because I did surrender that expectation, and 223 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:24,960 I just simply leaned into the possibility that, hey, this 224 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:30,440 isn't about me specifically. I am doing this for a higher 225 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,880 purpose. I am doing this for a thing 226 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:39,000 bigger than me. And in having that approach to 227 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:44,600 it, I was able to push myself harder than I had ever been able 228 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:50,200 to push myself individually. Which made me realize that I 229 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:54,360 couldn't have done what I had just accomplished with this prep 230 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,960 by myself. You know, call that whatever you 231 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,600 may. But I believe that this prep 232 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:08,160 opened my eyes to the fact that I didn't do it alone. 233 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:14,640 Like I was able to lean on God to get through it and to get 234 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:18,080 through it in a way that I'd never been able to get through a 235 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,560 prep before while maintaining my relationships while staying 236 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,040 positive, while help, while helping others. 237 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,920 And that was a pretty big aha moment for me. 238 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:36,160 So when it comes to spirituality and God and my relationship with 239 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,760 God, I feel like I should give you a little back story here. 240 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:43,520 So I was not raised in a religious setting whatsoever. 241 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,760 We went to church a few times when I was younger. 242 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,880 My grandparents are my my granny specifically is is highly 243 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:55,920 involved in the church, but when we moved away from them, that 244 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,040 was not really something that was a part of my day-to-day 245 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,600 life. My dad, whom I love and respect 246 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,760 dearly, is an evolutionary biologist. 247 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:10,160 Like he does not believe in God and he is a scientist. 248 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:14,760 He's a researcher. He is a very black and white 249 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,560 analytical type of guy, which I can totally appreciate and 250 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,880 respect 'cause I am that as well. 251 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:25,120 But he is not a religious type whatsoever. 252 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,400 So I was not raised in a religious setting. 253 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,560 I didn't go to church really much beyond those few times when 254 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:39,160 I went with my my grandparents. And as I was going through high 255 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:43,480 school and college and everything, you know, I I tried 256 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,480 to figure out where I stood on that topic. 257 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,240 You know, is there a God? Is there not a God? 258 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,160 Because everybody asks themselves those questions when 259 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,520 they start asking themselves deep questions. 260 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,040 And I never really had much clarity on that. 261 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,080 I didn't know where I stood on it. 262 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,599 I'd I'd gone to a few churches in college kind of individually 263 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:07,319 just to see if I liked him. None of them really ever 264 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,440 resonated with me. And then I moved off to 265 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,800 Washington State, met Crystal and we just kind of went through 266 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,040 our life, you know, going through our life as as as we 267 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,040 were. Crystal was raised in a 268 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:25,440 religious setting, so she had that background, whereas I did 269 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,520 not. And as a as a couple, you know, 270 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,280 you want to make sure on the same page with things. 271 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:36,560 So I felt it prudent for me to figure out more officially 272 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,280 whereas on the topics that we can be aligned in our thinking 273 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:44,600 and share some common ground. And that became even more 274 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,520 important once we had our son, because we obviously want to 275 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:53,000 raise him with similar footing, making sure that we're giving 276 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,440 him similar messaging so that he's not confused because that 277 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,640 would be the the worst thing. I wouldn't want to have a 278 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,400 different stance than my wife and then that make his 279 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,280 upbringing confusing for him. That wouldn't be fair to him. 280 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,960 So before he was even born, actually, we, you know, we knew 281 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,400 we wanted to have a kid. But I I knew that I wanted to 282 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,120 figure out where I stood on this from an individual standpoint. 283 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,160 Taking crystal, taking Roger out of the equation. 284 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,920 I just knew that I wanted to figure this out and where I 285 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,480 stood on it. And we had hired A gentleman by 286 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:28,640 the name of Brandon a few years back and he was working for us. 287 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:33,200 He worked for us for a couple years and he was incredibly, 288 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:42,200 incredibly, you know, faithful. He, he, he spoke the language. 289 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,880 He he was just very confident in his faith, more so than I'd ever 290 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:53,040 experienced anybody before. And I was just kind of confused 291 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,840 by that because up to that point, I hadn't really found any 292 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,280 black and white answers to anything. 293 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:04,040 And I'm like, man, oh man, how can you be so freaking confident 294 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,120 than any of this stuff? Like you are living and 295 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:11,480 breathing and dying by by what the Bible preaches. 296 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,560 But how do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that is 297 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,360 true? Like, how do you have so much 298 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,160 confidence? So he would talk to me about 299 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,720 that, and I just really respected and appreciated him as 300 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,040 a person. He was an incredibly hard 301 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:30,560 worker, incredibly good person, great addition to the team when 302 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,320 he was with us there, and I was just really intrigued by his 303 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:39,000 level of devotion to his faith and in interacting with him as 304 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,840 he was our employee. He started telling me about 305 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:47,160 something called apologetics, which is basically, you know, 306 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,680 kind of like a philosophical train of thought of reasoning 307 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,800 and reasoning through your arguments from a like, debate 308 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,720 standpoint, which I did like that. 309 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,440 I appreciated that because I wanted to be able to bring. 310 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,040 People with conflicting views together and just hear their 311 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,520 stance on everything I wanted to bring. 312 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,080 I wanted to hear where an evolutionary biologist thought 313 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,560 about something. I wanted to hear how that was in 314 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,600 line or conflicted with what a preacher thought about 315 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,720 something. I wanted to hear perspectives 316 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,880 from people from different religions. 317 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,680 I just wanted to know and compile all the information, get 318 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,280 everybody's train of thought together and just figure out 319 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,960 what made sense to me, how I could assimilate that 320 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,000 information and then move forward from there and 321 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,320 apologetics resonate with him because that's basically what it 322 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,040 is. It's it's like a formal debate 323 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,440 like here is why we think the way we think and then let's 324 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,200 reason through it and then make sense of it from a rational 325 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,920 standpoint. So I like that. 326 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,000 So I kind of started diving into apologetics once. 327 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,680 I met Brandon in hiring him to workforce a few years back and 328 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,240 that went on for that's probably about 2-3 years now. 329 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,080 And while I was going through and listening to all these 330 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,920 debates and apologetics and and whatnot, I just started 331 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,480 consuming as much information as I could. 332 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,520 I would go to a few different churches, see what the preachers 333 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,560 had to say, figure out if I liked what they were saying or 334 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,600 not, if it made sense. I read the Bible cover to cover. 335 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,880 I would dive into other religions and try and figure out 336 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,200 what it was they were thinking. I would dive into a lot of the 337 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:29,360 evolutionary discussion and textbooks and science to figure 338 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,640 out what its argument for anything and everything was. 339 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,880 You know, did we all come from some Big Bang? 340 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,120 Did we all come from the hand of God? 341 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,840 You know, how old is the earth? Is it 6000 years old? 342 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:45,600 Was it a gazillion years old? Like all of these questions that 343 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,880 we start asking ourselves when we start going down this rabbit 344 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,640 hole, I've been asking for the last several years and just 345 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,680 diving into the information deeper and deeper and deeper. 346 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,000 And again, I'm going to be the first to tell you that I don't 347 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:04,040 have all the answers and I'm not confident in saying that this is 348 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,160 that or this is how old the earth is or in that stuff. 349 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:13,000 I'm just in the process of figuring all this out myself. 350 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,960 And honestly, I am a very black and white person. 351 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:21,480 I am a very analytical, data-driven, data oriented 352 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,040 person. That's why I like what, you 353 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,400 know, I dive into with regard to nutrition and reading these 354 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:31,160 research studies and testing and trialing different macro 355 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,560 nutrients and micronutrients and training philosophies to figure 356 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,000 out what works and what doesn't from an unbiased, objective 357 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,760 approach. That's what I like to do, like I 358 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:45,800 don't like to bring in biases. I don't like to bring in, you 359 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,440 know, quote UN quote religion to nutrition because I just like to 360 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,760 figure things out from a scientific, objective 361 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:56,000 standpoint. But the thing about spirituality 362 00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:01,240 and faith and religion and and science is that all of this 363 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:06,920 stuff is. I mean, this all happened long 364 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,640 before we were ever born. So we can't really look at it 365 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,240 from an objective scientific standpoint of here is the 366 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:17,120 scientific experiment, let's replicate it and figure out the 367 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,600 outcome. Because all of this happened 368 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,840 long before we came into the picture and we can't really go 369 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:27,680 back in time and create a model that showcases exactly what 370 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,280 happened. So we're all kind of giving 371 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:33,720 forth our best guesses and assumptions, and nobody has all 372 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,320 the answers. No human has all the answers. 373 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:44,400 So whether you are on the hardcore religious side or the 374 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:49,160 hardcore scientific side, at some point you have to have, I 375 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,640 mean, you have faith in one or the other, but either way you 376 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,520 have faith. Like you have faith that it's 377 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:58,800 all coming through natural evolution and it can be 378 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,680 explained via that route or through the hand of God in some 379 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,840 spiritual form. But either way, you have to have 380 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:09,000 faith in that belief because you can't really look at it through 381 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,400 an objective scientific lens in the sense that you can create a 382 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:18,120 model and duplicate it and then see it occur and take place like 383 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,880 you could in a Petri dish of a traditional scientific 384 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,200 experiment. So either way, there is faith. 385 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,160 That said, I don't think there has to be this mutually 386 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:34,040 exclusive approach. Like obviously there is a lot to 387 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,040 be and it can be explained through the lens of science. 388 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,840 And science is great. Like, I love science. 389 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,000 That's why I'm constantly consuming scientific research 390 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,560 studies on nutrition and other things, because I just love 391 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,120 science. I think the pursuit of science 392 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:52,640 and knowledge is an incredibly valuable thing, but I don't 393 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,200 think that should discount the fact that there are things that 394 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,200 cannot be explained through the scientific method alone. 395 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:06,640 There are things that we can't put our finger on with 100% 396 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,800 degree of clarity and confidence. 397 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:14,960 There are things that we just simply can't explain, like love. 398 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,280 How is that emotion something that we could explain through a 399 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,120 scientific experiment? You can't. 400 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,600 You just feel it. You know it to be true and you 401 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:31,600 know it to be good. And I think life kind of like 402 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:35,520 the whole five pillar thing. Everything may seem to be 403 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,000 counter to one another, but it all works in symbiosis. 404 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,600 It all creates something that betters the whole. 405 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,400 And I think the same can be said with regard to science and 406 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:52,320 spirituality and faith, like everything can meld together and 407 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,480 create something better than it would be in isolation. 408 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,680 There doesn't have to be this mutually exclusive approach to 409 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,720 things, but I'm kind of going off on a tangent here. 410 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:07,640 So all that to say, I I've been diving deeper into all of these 411 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,120 things, trying to figure out where I stood on things, trying 412 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:12,520 to figure out the answers, trying to figure out how to be 413 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,680 objective, how to lean into these thoughts and emotions I've 414 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,440 had and just how to be, you know, more confident in my own 415 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,960 beliefs and approach. But through this prep and 416 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,880 through being so incredibly depleted and in having such a 417 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,160 rigid structure to my life, there was a few things that I 418 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,240 would do that just became very tangible. 419 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,200 So I would, towards the end, you know, I said I was very 420 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,160 depleted. I was doing one meal a day. 421 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,840 I would train, I would do my cardio. 422 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,640 I would pose. And then before I would allow 423 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:50,800 myself to eat, I would take a moment to allow my body to 424 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,840 return to a parasympathetic state. 425 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,960 I would go over to the mats. I'd find a corner. 426 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,840 I'd find, like this little spot that was away from everybody 427 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,320 else. I would put my head down. 428 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,400 I would kneel on the ground kind of in like some yoga pose. 429 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:12,000 And I would just simply focus on letting my breathing return to 430 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,760 normal and return to that parasympathetic state. 431 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,680 Because when you are that depleted and you're that hungry, 432 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,440 you just get like in this feeding frenzy and you just want 433 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,400 to eat and you can't really focus on the world that like 434 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,600 that becomes a distraction. And that is oftentimes the 435 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,520 trigger for a lot of binging and just not having control over the 436 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,760 food. So from a very tangible 437 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,040 standpoint, I wanted to avoid that, and I wanted to be in the 438 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,720 right frame of mind before I allowed myself to eat. 439 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,720 So I would do this little practice after doing the 440 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,120 training, and I would let my body return to this 441 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,680 parasympathetic state, and I would just focus on breathing 442 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,040 with my head down, stretched out on the floor. 443 00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:00,080 And I found myself starting to pray when I was in that 444 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,800 position. And at first, I don't really 445 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,720 know what I was praying for. You know, I was praying for, you 446 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,640 know, just to be able to get through the prep. 447 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:15,680 I would pray for, You know, clarity is to know what I should 448 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,480 do throughout the day. Pray for having a healthy 449 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:22,440 relationship with food. I'd pray thanks for what I had 450 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,040 in life, my family, my friends, just all the things I was 451 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:32,200 grateful for. And what I realized in doing 452 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,520 that over the course of several months is that as I got more and 453 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,240 more depleted and the prep got further along from a 454 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:46,200 physiological standpoint, that prayer time was incredibly 455 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,560 beneficial. Like, it allowed me to maintain 456 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,840 a healthy relationship with food. 457 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:57,560 That's one. But it allowed me to just go 458 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,960 through the day in the right frame of mind without 459 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,640 distractions. Like I would have that moment 460 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:12,320 and then I would be able to get up from that and just go through 461 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,440 the day positively with direction, with clarity. 462 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,120 And that was great. That was honestly one of the 463 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,600 reasons I probably didn't get irritable and rude and and 464 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,440 negative throughout this prep. From a physiological standpoint, 465 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,520 I would come out of that, or I'd be in that prayer and I would 466 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,520 be. I'd breathe dizzy. 467 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,040 I would. There's a couple times, like I 468 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,920 said, where I'd get up from it too quickly. 469 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:41,400 And I I passed out twice. And I would have these, like 470 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:46,600 weird shakes all over my body because, you know, electrolyte 471 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,600 manipulations, fluid manipulations, just simply being 472 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,680 depleted, being in a position where my head was down and then 473 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,840 standing up too quickly, having a blood rush. 474 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,760 Like there'd be like these just strange physical things that 475 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,240 were happening. And, you know, you can explain 476 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,800 that through whatever means. That's just simply a matter of 477 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:09,120 being so depleted. But in having those tangible 478 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:13,400 physical phenomena that you don't typically have when you're 479 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:19,840 not in that deep of a deficit, it made me just recognize the 480 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:24,880 brevity of life that much more. You know, when you are that 481 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:29,000 depleted and you are on the brink of death, you have a much 482 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:35,120 closer relationship with how short life is. 483 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,200 And I became just incredibly grateful for every moment that I 484 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,960 was given. And I was doing everything I 485 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,080 could do in life to the best of my ability with that prep, to 486 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:52,440 the point where if I were to die in that moment, I would be at 487 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:57,680 peace with my life. I had made peace with crystal, 488 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,720 with my life, with with what I was trying to do. 489 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,200 I didn't have any regrets. I don't have any regrets. 490 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,720 And I just felt really good about it. 491 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:10,160 Like, I obviously don't want to die this young, but I realized 492 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,560 in one of those moments that if I were to die in this instant, I 493 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,280 would be at peace. And that was a very calming 494 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:22,080 thing. And I would have those physical 495 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,480 phenomena take place. And then it started to shape 496 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:31,880 more of my psychological thinking of what I'm 497 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,880 experiencing. This piece that I have this 498 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:41,600 profound sense of just, you know, gratitude, love, peace, 499 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:48,000 presence. This is all something beyond me. 500 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:52,040 In the past, when I tried to shoulder this burden myself, I 501 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:58,600 found myself being miserable, negative and just derogatory. 502 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:04,520 Whereas now I have peace, love, gratefulness and appreciation. 503 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:13,080 And the main shift was in that was that I let God shoulder that 504 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,400 burden. The prep no longer became this 505 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,440 thing that I was trying to do for myself for some sense of 506 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,120 self righteousness. It became this thing of, hey, I 507 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:27,520 am doing this as a vehicle for something bigger than me. 508 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:32,000 I want to help, inspire, educate, motivate people and I 509 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:36,880 can't push myself to the point that I need to if I shoulder 510 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:41,760 that burden alone. So I'm going to surrender it to 511 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,720 God, and everything that I accomplished through this 512 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,760 journey and endeavor is done to glorify God. 513 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:53,960 And when I made that shift, I had that newfound sense of 514 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,480 peace. And I can't explain that. 515 00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:01,400 I can't explain what that means. I can't explain how that works. 516 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,920 I can't explain a lot of things. This is just me trying to be 517 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:09,880 transparent and wade through these thoughts and realizations 518 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,120 as I'm experiencing them. So bear with me here on that. 519 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:21,120 But I enjoy that sensation. I lean into that and I have 520 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:26,840 become better for it and I am focused now the competition is 521 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:34,200 over on continuing that relationship, learning more and 522 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,360 figuring it out on a deeper level. 523 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,640 I think, you know, now the shows are over and I'm not as depleted 524 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:46,280 and I don't have that weight. It's easier to let those 525 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:51,160 distractions creep back in and not have that sense of clarity. 526 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:55,840 And one thing that I've been doing is trying to maintain the 527 00:33:55,840 --> 00:34:00,440 structure routine that I did throughout my prep to keep that 528 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:05,600 connection close. So I'm still doing that moment 529 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:10,199 of prayer after my training, before I allow myself to eat, 530 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:14,760 and just simply focusing on having that moment throughout 531 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,719 the day at different times when I feel distractions creep in and 532 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,400 when I feel like I am disconnected from the reality of 533 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,920 the world that we live in and the present moment. 534 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,440 And that has been a very good thing for me. 535 00:34:29,159 --> 00:34:34,320 And again, I don't know. I I don't have all the answers. 536 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:38,120 I don't know a lot of the questions. 537 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:41,000 There's a there's so many questions that I have and I 538 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,960 don't even know if I'm meant to have the answers. 539 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:49,480 But what I have noticed is that in surrendering that way, in 540 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:57,480 being more present, in praying to a higher being than myself, I 541 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:02,360 feel a sense of peace that I have never had before. 542 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,560 And I am tangibly becoming a better person. 543 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:12,040 Like I'm surrounding myself with people that also seek that out 544 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,720 and are striving to become better. 545 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:23,880 And that like there's a lot of abstractness in religion and 546 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,480 spirituality. There's a lot of hypocrites in 547 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,360 religion and spirituality. There's a lot of hypocrites in 548 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:33,840 all walks of life, and I don't know. 549 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,160 I don't know. I'm going to say I don't know 550 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:42,000 several times on this podcast. But what I do know is that the 551 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,920 deeper I dive and the more I lean into this newfound sense of 552 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:51,200 faith and confidence, that there is something out there greater 553 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,400 than me. And I want to glorify that more 554 00:35:55,400 --> 00:36:00,080 than my own selfish desires. The better I become as a person 555 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,560 in a very tangible way. I want to continue to learn all 556 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,840 the different things. I want to learn what the science 557 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,800 is saying and showing and be objected towards that. 558 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,320 I want to understand and learn why different people from 559 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,480 different walks of life with different upbringings and 560 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,600 different religions and faith-based systems think the 561 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,480 way they do. And I want to understand why 562 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,800 they think that way. And I want to understand, you 563 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:29,960 know, like the more commonly accepted form of religion here 564 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:33,200 and America, at least you know, Christianity grand. 565 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,600 There's different variations of that. 566 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,520 Why people in the church think the way they do what what the 567 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,400 Bible says, what the Bible shows, what that means from a 568 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,520 historical standpoint, from an apologetic standpoint, from a 569 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,560 faith-based standpoint. Like I just want to know all of 570 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,440 these things. I've been going to several 571 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:54,000 different churches, trying to figure out what message they're 572 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,600 preaching, trying to interact with the people and what their 573 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:02,160 stance is on things. Reading the Bible, having 574 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:07,120 devotions, praying, figuring out what that means, how it makes me 575 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:11,160 feel, what it's suggesting I do, and how I live my life. 576 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,360 These are all things that I am in the process of figuring out. 577 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,400 But what I can confidently say is that the deeper I dive into 578 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,760 it, the more compelled I am to live a life that I am more 579 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:27,960 confident is a better life. Like, I see myself becoming a 580 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:31,680 better person and that is a very tangible thing. 581 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,800 So while I don't have all the answers and there is a lot of 582 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,200 questions, which is hard for me, being as black and white and 583 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:45,080 analytical and data-driven as I am, I can tangibly say that I am 584 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:49,280 leaning into this with more confidence and flourishing as a 585 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:55,040 result. And that is worthwhile and I am 586 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,760 very happy and excited to keep learning. 587 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:02,960 For that reason alone, I can confidently say that what I 588 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,640 accomplished through this prep and the framework and the 589 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,560 mindset that I had to adopt in order to get through it 590 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,280 throughout through some of the the lows that I experienced, 591 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,640 through some of the highs that I experienced could not have been 592 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,720 done had I gone through this prep like I had in the past. 593 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:28,160 And the primary difference was that I let go and put my faith 594 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,680 in God to help me get through it. 595 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,440 And that made all the difference. 596 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:45,560 When I look at what I've learned thus far from diving deeper into 597 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:56,600 this, the primary message that I've gleaned from it is to love 598 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:08,280 one another, to glorify God, and to love His existence and what 599 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:13,000 he stands for with all of your heart, mind, and soul. 600 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,440 There is so much self centeredness in the world, so 601 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:23,720 much negativity, so much selfishness and lack of 602 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:30,000 gratitude. I'm a happy person and I'm happy 603 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,640 because I'm grateful for all that I've been blessed with. 604 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,280 I have so much to be grateful for. 605 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,720 We all do. If you are listening to this 606 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:40,560 podcast, you have so much to be grateful for. 607 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:47,440 And if the primary message that I've gleaned from at least the 608 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:53,920 Christian standpoint is to love God with all your heart, mind 609 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:59,560 and soul, and love others, that is a pretty solid message that 610 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:03,240 we can all get behind. So I'm definitely going to get 611 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:08,600 behind that, and I'm also going to keep diving deeper to figure 612 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,560 out where I stand on all this. But I'm grateful for the 613 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:18,680 opportunity to do so. I'm grateful that I have found 614 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:27,400 my calling in life because. I feel like we all have a 615 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:32,480 responsibility to go through life and simply add more value 616 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:36,400 than we take. I think, you know, I don't want 617 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:44,080 to be a Leech on society. I don't want to be, you know, a 618 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,640 a a negative. I don't want to be a drain. 619 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:50,040 I just simply want to leave this world better than I found it. 620 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:53,880 Because I'm so grateful for the opportunity to have lived in it 621 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:59,160 in the 1st place. And I am grateful to have found 622 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:03,560 my calling and purpose. And I want everything that I do 623 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:12,880 to glorify God and His higher purpose for me. 624 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:22,080 I feel like there's so much opportunity out there and so 625 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,120 many people are stuck in a life that they're not passionate 626 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:29,760 about and they're living in a mundane way because there is a 627 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:36,800 lack of passion there. I love my life and everything 628 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:41,200 that I'm doing has the opportunity to act as a vehicle 629 00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:45,600 to add more value to those I interact with so that I can love 630 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:49,760 them more and add more value to them as well. 631 00:41:52,520 --> 00:42:00,640 And I think if I do that to the my best ability then I can leave 632 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,200 this world better than I found it. 633 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:15,600 Glorify the God that put me here and I can be at peace with them. 634 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:25,600 So ladies and gentlemen, that is my, whatever you want to call 635 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:34,160 it, My my discussion on spirituality, our relationship 636 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:40,480 with God, what I've tried to figure out and learn and just 637 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,840 decipher over these past several months or honestly several 638 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:50,160 years. So again, I do not have all the 639 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,680 answers. I've got more questions than 640 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:57,720 I've got answers, but all of this has kind of come to light 641 00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:03,000 as a result of this competition. Prep and I have tried to be 642 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:07,760 incredibly transparent with all things related to the prep, the 643 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,880 blood work, the training, the nutrition, the hormones, the 644 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:16,320 psychology. So it only seemed fitting to be 645 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:20,320 incredibly transparent with this awakening as well. 646 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,960 So thank you all for tuning in, thank you all for listening. 647 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:29,080 Much love to every single one of you and I will talk to you next 648 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:29,320 time.