All right, hello and welcome to another episode of old faces.
We are live from Orlando and splash Mocha 20 the last the
last day of 2024. I'm.
Glad that you had to think about.
That yeah, I was. Waiting.
Yeah, no, I don't. I'll be I'll be signing for.
Confirmation yes 20. 20 I'll be signing 2024 for the next couple
of months, you know, so there's 2 two things that we, we can
discuss today. Ality, how do you cultivate the
mindset to get the most out of this lifestyle?
And that'll be a conversation that, you know, the listener
Mocha, well, both lifestyle and Mocha, you know, mocha obviously
presents different opportunities, but the lifestyle
itself, we, we talk to people all time who have a challenge,
you know, coming into this space and actually enjoying
themselves. So from a female standpoint,
that's one thing. And then we had another
interesting thing brought up yesterday where we talked about
being in the in this environment, being in the
lifestyle as a bull who's married.
Pause on that. But miss Mocha, you start first.
We'll go into a little further than that because I actually had
someone approached me last night and asked me how I deal with our
dynamic or how how she dealt with like him just playing and
me just being out and about by myself and so on and so forth.
Because if you got most people don't even know we're married
until they see us together. And this is we've actually been
together more here. I feel like you're being a
little clingy, but more here than more here than any moko, I
guess. Yeah, I guess so.
As the opposite, I will kind of like agree with you because I've
seen the couples where I can tell you 2 are together but
you're really hot and I wouldn't mind approaching you right?
But I don't know if that's OK with you.
As the wife. If that's OK.
Yeah. And I don't know, I'm a newbie.
I would grant that this is my first splash.
We've never been to a big event like this before and I don't
know how to handle that. So as the opposite angle, I've,
my husband's upstairs somewhere sleeping, he's got a migraine.
I don't know how to approach that.
So just as a we have the opposite dynamic.
That's something that we can talk about.
Well, him and I, I'll start off and then I'll go to what you
said. But him and I started off
playing separately, like we, I thought that was just what
everybody did. You just go out and fuck who you
want to fuck and you come back and tell each other while you're
riding his Dick. Like I just, he did some crazy
shit when you were first to get there.
I'm just kidding. But I just thought that was
normal until we went to, I think trapeze in Atlanta.
So it's a swingers club. Nobody's from there.
It's a swing swingers club in Atlanta.
And I and always my own free spirit and always kind of do my
own thing. And he's just there watching to
make sure I'm safe and catch my clothes.
But you know, I was, I went in like balls to the wall because I
just thought that's how everybody was.
And then everyone that kind of approached us like your wife's
kind of crazy, but she's I didn't even know people didn't
like me because I just was there.
I was happy to be there and be in that environment because I
feel like I'm so serious. I won't go too far off topic,
but I feel so serious in my vanilla life.
But that's like the only time that I could go in and I don't
give a fuck what anybody thinks. Cut back.
Relax. Right.
Have a little Bunny. I don't want to hurt anybody's
feelings. I just want to be here and have
a good time. I don't want any drama.
If you have your drama, like cool, we're all going to have
it. We've definitely had ours.
But early on, a lot of it when we go to these place, go to
these events, it's it's different.
It's different because they know she's my wife and they know that
I play, but then they're watching her just go absolutely
balls to the wall. And in the beginning it was
honestly, a lot of women were just, I mean, jealous, jealous
because she was so free. They were they, they were
jealous of her freedom. They were jealous of her going
to a party and just taking her clothes off.
You know, they were jealous of her saying what she wanted, but
I thought unapologetically. Supposed to do like I just there
was no like there was no guide that he read to me.
He just would tell me don't do this, you know, do that.
This is OK. That's not OK because he's been
in for way longer than I have. But it was I thought that's just
what everybody did. Like this is a fun.
It's just like going to like a club when you're in your 20s.
Like you go, you get fucked up and you go home.
You know, you're like, damn, I shouldn't have done that.
But it was, they were fine, you know, like.
So that. I was the same way.
Like I was just kind of brought in and turned loose and said,
this is you're safe here, you're free to do this here.
And so I was just like, let's let's do this.
Yeah. I mean, I, I had the same kind
of bringing into it of this is where you can do all of that,
right? There was a lot of coaching
before, but it was to my parameters, not to the
parameters of the people that she would encounter out there.
Because the problem is, is I never understand how you get
into a lifestyle and then restrict yourself within the
lifestyle. So she came into it like I
remember our first house party, the first house party we went
to, she went to rather not we she the 1st house party we went
to together. You know, she told her what kind
of house party was. She goes in and literally she
strips naked and everybody's like like everybody's like, holy
shit. Now this is a lifestyle party.
Everybody's like surprised as she stripped naked.
And then we kept going throughout the night.
There was a couple that she liked and she went to the wife
was like, Hey, you guys want to fuck?
And the lady was like, oh, thank God.
Yes, like, yeah, we do. So we, we, we kicked it off.
And there were a lot of mixed feelings about her because she
was just. Her.
She. People thought we were fake that
we've actually had people like tell us like there's no way you
guys relationship is really like that.
Like, you know, I, I like people actually stopped talking to us
and said I don't care. We.
Walked it off. Yeah, exactly.
But. Ironic.
But in this lifestyle, there's people that are so judgy.
You'd think that we'd be the least judgy, but there's still
that element. You know, it's so weird.
I think typically we are less judgy, but when you get somebody
that is judging, they're they're judging, yeah, not.
Being interrupted. You kind of said it in the
meeting yesterday. If you have issues with judging
people before the lifestyle, like he was saying you got swag
for the lifestyle, you have swag in the lifestyle.
So if you sitting up here with all these insecurities before
you get in here, you can have them when you get here.
So don't think they're going to just stop at the door when you
get here. It's not like that.
So people bring their shit from home and bring it to until it's
start not working for them. So when it that jealousy, the
other the connive and the the bitching and all of that stuff,
what they realizing that people are starting to separate from
them. And sometimes they wake up and
say, Hey, yo, let me do something different.
And then some of them just fall out of the lifestyle.
But then there are people who are just totally fake, who just
want to fit in to somewhere, anywhere, and aren't really
about all of it. And.
Then, and that's normal. Exactly.
That is normal. Right.
And any subset, there's people that are going to fake to fit in
that group. Especially somebody like me
who's new to this environment, to this kind of group.
I am bisexual. Honestly, you 2 approached me
tonight. We're wrong.
But I could understand if you could feel like maybe I'm not
sincere in that, you know, I, I would get that because you don't
know me and you don't know who I am really.
None of us really know who we are.
I mean, we're all executives or, you know, teachers or what?
At cops. What?
I'm just naming off jobs outside of this.
Yeah. And.
You spend time with them and you talk to them and you get to know
them even outside of the the lifestyle and the events and
all, you can get a feel for who they are, right?
As a person, right. But you've never met me before.
We haven't seen each other before.
We walked into this room. So I could understand if you
said, yeah, I don't know. I'm just not feeling that.
No, but now here's the thing. I think that the beauty of the
light of the lifestyle is that we we kind of we're kind of
moving in the same direction. But to to your point, what was
abnormal about her when we came to lifestyle is whenever you
walk into a place, everybody's wearing a mask, OK?
And if everybody's wearing a mask and one person walking
around without a mask on, everybody the fuck is going on
with that person? She was that person.
She wasn't pretentious. It was like, I see.
Exactly. What you're saying?
Yeah, she came in. Like a Wrecking Ball.
But but for her, it was. And this is the the thing that I
talked to one of the ladies about earlier.
Yeah, because. They look weird.
That and in the lifestyle, one of the most common things is, is
you'll meet women who they're intelligent, they got great
careers, They do all of these things.
And as soon as you meet them, the first thing they have to do
is establish to you that they're smart.
I'm a this, I do this, I have all of these different things
because they don't want you to look at them like a piece of
ass. Every man in this building wants
to be looked at like a piece of Dick.
All of us, like every last one of us.
So my. Recent play date that like came
over and I like when you call me a slut, I want you to call me a
dirty whore. You don't.
I want you to call me that at Publix, but or Kroger or
whatever. But yeah, that's why when you
call me and I said it like one time he was like, Oh no, I'm not
ever going to say that. And I was like, no, I like that.
He was like, oh, like a term of endearment.
And I was like exactly. For me, I was like, I mean I
would try that on everybody. Some people don't like that, but
I like it. But he was like, oh, I don't
want to be disrespectful. And I was like, I appreciate you
not being disrespectful, but I like that.
But. But in this space, you can
disrespect. Yeah, I want you to be a little
disrespectful. But, but remember, that's not
disrespectful. It is.
It's not. It's not disrespectful.
So, you know, in every other aspect of my life, I'm.
Respectful if that's honoring what she wants, right?
Right. And that, that, yeah, because
that to me, that's an annoyance to me.
That's to me, it's a weak minded guy.
You go into this space and she says it turns me on if you stick
your finger in my butt or whatever it is now for you to
go. You know, I don't want to be, I
don't want to violate your butt hole because I respect it.
So shut the fuck up. Not if you don't want to put
your finger in there or if you are not turned on by saying a
thing, just say, well, that doesn't turn me off.
But I think that's too like fear of the unknown, so absolutely.
So I'll that's a double edged sword.
Technically, yeah, but I think it's a fear of the unknown.
Just like people outside of this speculate and make up things
about what lifestyle is because they've never experienced and
they don't know what it is like. Not to be controversial, but the
religion, I don't want to go there.
I mean, some people are religious.
We're not, we're not all religious, but you know,
religion, you don't understand every single religion.
So people are not going to. But because you don't
understand, you just read and Google and that's all you have
from that. So lifestyle people Google and
they assume that's what it is. So I think even with like newer
people, they're just getting into the lifestyle that they,
they don't know. So they think they're doing what
they're supposed to. Or they went on HBO Max and
watched the swinger lifestyle. That's a crock of shit, right,
Right, right. Or something like that.
And they just think that's what it is, you know?
I mean, you don't know till you're there and you experience
it. I can't say you know that I know
about I don't know. I'm trying to think of
something. Yeah, anything I'm not into.
I can't tell you about video games.
I don't play video games. I couldn't tell you anything
about them. I could tell you the name of a
few, but I don't I don't play them, so I don't know.
I can only speculate what I see on YouTube, you know, So I think
that's what people even just stepping into the lifestyle.
So I can't even say you're you wouldn't necessarily I would
think you're a fake. I would just think you don't
know. Plenty of people come up and
say, like, oh, I I'm new to Mocha and this is a whole new
experience. We were completely experienced
lifestylers coming to Mocha, but it was completely different for
us. I never with him and I clung to
him like glue because our past experience was going to trapeze
on single guy night where they let any, like vanilla guy, it
doesn't matter. You could just be anybody off
the street. You're not necessarily a
swinger. And they were very grabby.
Yeah, they were very grabby. And I felt like I had to stay
near him or near somebody that I knew it wasn't all the time, you
know, we met a few like respectful guys, but that was
like a big deal. So when I'm coming here, I'm
already overwhelmed before we hit the door.
And I'm experienced and I walked around until he got upset at me.
Our first smoke, I was like the smoke out.
It's simple. All you have to do is point out
who you want to fuck and I'll go talk to them and they'll have
sex with you. And I was like, there's no way
it works like that. Because before we went to
couples parties, which aren't little different, you have to
talk to couples for a little while.
Sometimes they're self swaps, sometimes they're full swaps,
sometimes just the woman place. Does not mean they cut you off.
I've been I've been in the game for 11 years, right.
The couples that for some like that kind of get four years, but
that's totally different from like because I I started off as
that, but I but but a year end, I went into our parties that was
throwing in Cincinnati. So when I came to my first
flash, it wasn't overwhelming to me because half of the dudes
already knew. So when they seen what's oh
shit, like yeah, they real. Oh shit.
Then they follow me up and you're wrong.
This is how I'm going down. It's running now.
I'm kind of like, OK, it's running like that too.
I got experience from the other guy.
So we're not coming in. But just to touch on your
subject, when you when y'all came in with them trying to get
4 yeses and him bringing here, I can see why he was kind of
confused because it don't take four years it just take one.
There in other circumstances it would be me and my husband and
you. And you?
And everybody would have to and to get everybody else exactly.
And to get those girls. At couples parties, you can't
always find like some couples just I'm not bi, so I some
couples won't play with the only they only want to watch the
women. That's just not my thing.
I thought I hadn't again, I don't judge anybody.
If that's your thing, like you do that cool, but I that's just
not mine. So it was just too.
There's too many dynamics that you were having to figure.
Out I'll watch more into like. Oh yeah, Multiple penises are
fine. Yeah, Yeah.
And it's a guessing game when you go into a couple's party, I
think is what? So when we came here, there was
no guessing. There's a guy here, he probably
wants to fuck you, and that's OK, and I'll talk to them for
you. And I was like, there's just no
way that works. And here's and another thing is
this guys, even the guy who even the guy who's allowed to play
alone, but that's a part of a couple behaves differently like
before. I mean, she she's met, I've been
to lifestyle a lot longer than her.
So she met a lot of people I played with before and they're
like, man, he's so much different.
Like I, I'm different when I have a partner, you know, the,
the rules are different. Yeah, the experienced guys
understand the rules are different.
A lot of times the inexperienced guys make the mistakes because
they don't understand the rules are different.
So when she did come into this environment, she was
overwhelmed. And I just explained to her for
me, like I'm big on, I think things through, OK?
I'm not the kind of guy that walks up to mile to a guy with
my wife and go, hey, this is my wife.
You want to fuck her? I don't like to put a guy in
that position because what if he doesn't want it?
What if he doesn't want you? I'm more like, hey, you see lady
over there? Yeah, that's my wife.
If you're interested later on, feel free to come by and say hi.
I know that she like you. From her standpoint, she was
just walking around like there's so many Dicks.
I don't know, she wanted to choose which one do I want to
play with. I was like, for the love of God
woman, point at one of them point and I'll shoot.
And so she points and finally she go get and she literally
that was 2020. She's been playing with that
same guy ever since. And in this environment was the
first time she was ever like that because in every other
environment, every other environment, she just like I, we
first got together. I have to tell her don't say she
will walk up to people. Hey you guys want to fuck?
I'm like just a meet and greet, meet greet.
Just say hi first. Do you know how many people we
actually fucked from me saying that though?
Let's just let's just talk about that.
You think? It's a number like.
There's just so many options. No, I was overwhelmed.
When I get overwhelmed, I can't make decisions.
That's where he comes in. He's the party, the party
starter for that. I if there's too many decisions,
I'll go take a nap. I can't 'cause I, I feel like I
think all the time the rest of my life.
So when I'm here, I don't like it sounds terrible.
I don't like putting a lot of effort or thought into this
stuff. If you have so many options, it
shouldn't be that hard. And for him, he is very logical
and he'll just say maybe rest for a minute, take, you know,
then go back and, you know, pick someone or whatever, talk to
some. We don't have to do anything if
you don't want to. We could stay here and hang out,
which that will never happen, but let's.
Go. Have you evolved more now now to
where you you he doesn't have to go get them like if you.
That was after the first party. No, she the second, she just.
Went back to her regular self. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what happened to me. The first, the first mocha I
came to it was, it was the same thing.
It was kind of like, tell me what you want and I'll go, I'll
go get it. I think that.
And now I'm just like I'm back. Yeah.
My wife Jesse, not this, not this Jesse.
My wife Jesse, I think has experienced even further on that
same spectrum that we've missed a total of 2 splashes.
We think we're, we're north of 20 now.
And at first it's kind of like, oh, there's so many things and
you do those things over a few years, right?
But if you are walking into a store and you've played with
this toy before and here's a brand new toy, it's human
nature. Let's play with something new,
right? And so sometimes it actually
makes her feel badly. Well, why won't Bob come see me?
Well, in order to play with Bob a few times, there's new toys,
you know. Yeah, he's he's maybe found a
new toy as well. Right, that's exactly right.
And and it becomes not the year old hat, but you know, and and
so it actually becomes after a while almost a a negative
experience from that standpoint because you are no longer in
somebody's radar. Here's the cool things to try
because that's already been tried.
You know, that's it's just an interesting problem that we're
just now beginning to realize so.
I have a rule for myself. He doesn't really have any rules
for me. But the rule for myself is that
if you live in the same town as me, we're not playing at Mocha.
Because of that, there's so many other.
Yeah, I might only see this guy and this guy 2 * a year because
they only come to two mochas. So I if we're in Atlanta and we
live within 30 minutes of each other, we're not playing at
Mocha. There's no, to me, there's no
point. Like we can play at home if you,
you know, if you come into a gang bang, cool, fit it in, but
I'm not going to push it on in there.
Yeah, that's my like on standing rule.
But same, like I never get my feelings hurt by reject, by
rejection, anything like that because I always assume that
there's something new and that's OK because she.
Lives with me. She lives with me like there's
no filter. There is people, people say this
all time and I hate to be that guy, but it's usually bullshit.
My wife is actually my best friend.
Like actually like a lot of people say it like she's
actually so like I talk to her like I talk to the dudes.
My wife is the one female that my my friends will call me and
see he just a minute ago he did edited man speech.
He edited so he didn't sound harsh about saying that when
it's just dudes talking, you would think we're a bunch of
fucking Neanderthals. Like we're just because we, we
don't edit, we skip. We get straight to the point.
We we say all these things. How many guys do you know when
they're around your wife? They don't edit.
My friends do not edit around my wife.
Like literally, my friends are so accustomed to me telling her
everything that they'll be, we'll be having man talk and
they'll be like, oh, you'll believe.
Well, ask your wife. So that being said, in this type
of environment, understanding that, look, honey, these guys
are coming here. They want numbers like you want
numbers, all right? They want they want variety like
you want variety. And the one thing that I stress
to her is if you want to be unique, you have, you have to
find a way to be unique. And you, you also going to have
different people going to have different connections with.
There's maybe one or two guys who she will play with multiple
times. Other than that, we talked, we
played, we have each other's number.
If you really want to fuck my wife between now and Atlanta
Splash, pick up the phone, you know, come and get it.
So if you didn't do that, like when she sees is, you know, it
is new guy, why would she turn that down?
But I've also as a husband, I've pushed her to be like me because
I've said this before. The only way we can work is if
you understand me, before we were together, I had access to
excess. Like I want you to know what it
feels like to to be like a dude. Fuck who you want to fuck and
when you want to fuck with no excuses.
Even though I was already doing that before I met him, I just
said yeah, there's a swinger thing.
I just. She can be loud.
She can be loud about it now she can be loud about it.
You know, before it had to be. One of the reasons I married.
My wife, right? Yeah, well, can.
I ask you a question about most most it's like a brother code
and I I don't know if you experienced, but then you know
I'm going with this, like me being a brother, if I see
another brother take answers, this couple here come to a
party. I won't say that I won't mess
with the woman like at all, like she might want to be with me,
but out of respect for him, I won't touch him like any any any
brother that comes here as a interracial, because it's
something about us being AI got like you know what, dude, that's
a girl, man. I ain't really because I like my
what my, but some guys don't come just talking about the
majority. Like the old school I know.
When I came up in the old school, you kind of you kept
that off like you kept that you only came to fuck the white men
women. You never come to fuck the black
guys women. That's it.
Like, but that's how I came up in the game because that's who
was bringing the women. I have never recently they
started recently black guys start bringing white women.
That wasn't. That was not.
That's why I never was. Not existing one time, like when
did you seeing white guys playing at Mocha See that that
like those things was I'm going to be honest with just just to
be real, because it's an honest conversation.
If I see a queen of spade play with a white guy, I'm going to
play with because that right there it it it it's just you're
faking. You're not who you are.
You're just putting on a tire. In 2015, 2016, if a white guy
was playing in public, they kind of take him aside and say that's
not really what this was for. It was a lot of dynamics, man.
And, and I'm going to just say this right quick, a lot of
couples going into the lifestyle, they do not know what
they want. They mixing cocoa with hot
white. They mixing this with that and
those things a lot. Of but I'll argue with you on
that. Let me argue with you on it
because everyone, I like to argue, everybody I think evolves
and I think they get into something and they say.
What you're saying to me so. So have she, I asked her, have
she ever experienced that being with you, that the guy you might
want to play with say, you know what, be my man ain't really
trying to go that direction and just step off and.
You know why? Because I'll.
Be honest, I'm always not. I'm not the sharpest tool in the
shed sometimes either, so I may not have noticed that no one's
ever like said. It to me saying is reflexive for
another reason, because throughout my 20 something years
in lifestyle, usually if I seen a good looking black dude with a
good looking white woman, if you go and talk to him, he's very he
don't he don't want you to touch her.
He ain't bring her here for you. He ain't she.
And so it was it was reflexive. So we're like, I'm very
reluctant. It's habit has made me
reluctant. Like he has to come to me and
say my girl is interested in playing with you.
Because I am aware of that. I would go up to guys and be
like, hey, my wife likes you. I'm completely comfortable with
you playing with her. I have a conversation with you
so that you know that I mean what I'm saying because I've
been in a situation with a black dude with a white woman where
I've played with her. And then now he looking at me
crazy or every time I see him in another party, he avoids me.
So it's what you're saying, but. Usually that's because you went
in and laid down the pipe and they were a little.
Upset about it, but but that's what you're supposed to do if.
It's all about communication. Well, what she's saying is there
are guys who get insecure because the way you yeah, I want
the way how well you fuck their wife.
But to me, that's weakness. I don't want you to fuck my wife
if you can't do a good job. I want my wife to come back to
me like God damn otherwise, because that's like that's like
only, only a certain type of guy.
And so when I approach another guy for her to play with, I make
sure that him and I have that communication.
But yes, what you're saying in Atlanta going to parties like
over and over where the guy comes in damn near 9099% of the
time, if you see a black dude with a good looking white woman,
he he ain't, he ain't letting you play with her.
You got to mean muscles. Your dress look too good.
I mean. And let's just pause on that.
We're not. But it's listen, this, this is
manspeak that you have you experienced that?
Saying that because he's in here.
But have you experienced that vice versa this?
Is the real life situation. This ain't just because you're a
white. Female.
I think I'm her biggest. Cough block here.
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like saying.
That yesterday. How do you deal with being the
wife of A? Bull, Yeah.
Me being with her though, I think dudes are reluctant and I
this is what I want, you know what I'm saying?
We're this is my primary reasons for coming here.
I was just coming in the front door now and some dude was
approaching this and I had to do a quick U-turn 'cause I didn't
want him to see me and and not shoot that shot.
You kind of got to split up and go your second ways and meet
people. I don't.
I don't split up. Yeah.
They're like I that's why I go and talk.
Because when I see you, Yeah, if you cuz you ain't going, you
ain't looking at me, giving me no clear signals that it's OK
for me to talk to her. So when I look at you and I look
at her, you look at her every day.
And you know, you like looking at her.
So we like looking at her. So if you looking at me like
this. OK, he ain't approachable.
I'm gonna go ahead. Yeah.
Plus, you've got 100 other options that are way clearer
than this shot right here. So unfortunately, you have to be
the aggressor. Yeah, yeah.
And and that's how I am. Like I am.
Wants to look at the cuckold chair and see a dude like this.
You know, I'm saying I'm talking about a man.
I'm talking about a man. Doesn't want to look at the
cuckold chair, you know what I'm saying?
I mean, we play, I play with a lot of guys that are that want
to do more solo stuff because they can't do groups.
Like I have guys that was like, yeah, they're fucking, they
don't care. We're out here fucking or guys
are like, no, I got to go to your room.
And then we still go to the room.
They still have the issue. So I get that.
But hold on, let me back up to you the evolvement.
I got into this thinking I only wanted to play with couples.
The first white guy I ever played with was in lifestyle
with him. I never played with a white guy
before that. I'll still play with a white guy
to this day. I don't care.
I don't really have a preference.
No, no. But I feel like people evolved.
Even if you say that's what it is, maybe somebody told that
specific person in the beginning, this is what this is.
She thought that's what she liked.
She may have liked it at that moment.
But I don't think we're restricted to just like one
thing. That's always my thing, so.
He's he's hitting a sweet point. You, you you haven't elaborated
on that. Hold on.
No, I. Understand.
Let me finish. And I'm glad you, I'm glad you
spoke on that because what what I'm saying is this she might
have. Now I'm going to be honest with
you, the whole while I've been in the lifestyle, I have never
seen a reversal. I have never seen a white woman
fuck black guys. And all of a sudden, you know,
I'm dumb fucking black guy. I'm strictly white Dick now.
But what I'm saying is that I have seen people say, you know
what? I'm going to give my I'm a
fucking white guy. You know what I mean?
But they are not tattooed up with these like they're not
portraying something that's saying I'm black Dick only.
Now you portray an image of I'm black Dick only and you fucking
the white guy. Yeah, you see what I'm saying?
Like it's a different, it's a it's different.
But what? So here's my here's the debate.
How does that affect you? If you're fucking, how does that
affect you at all? You.
Stepped in that room, it's the fantasy, correct?
But the fantasy is still there whether or not she's fucked the
white guy 10 minutes before you or not.
You can't get this fantasy guess what it is, so you can't dictate
any of you can't dictate nothing right, right, right, right.
So if I want this fantasy to go with plan that mean I'm a.
So in that position, so in his particular and see me and Mike C
talked about that too, like the you have the hardcore queen of
spades and they bring that to you.
This is who I am. I'm telling you, hey, I want to
play with you. This is who I am.
And you say, hold on, wait, wait, no, no, he already said
that. He, he clarified that part.
But if you come to me, because that's the thing that a lot of
QoS is brag about, Like that's their bragging point when
they're talking to you, when you're having that conversation.
And so you see them in the morning, they're bragging about
it, they're talking about it. And then they do that and it's
like, OK, well, you're not representing who you are.
It's the same thing as when we have some of the guys who
pretend to be bulls and they come with that fake bull persona
and you fuck them and then or you're talking to them and you
get turned off. Now, he said.
On the other hand, if you never represented yourself as that,
then that's fine. It's not that he's not going to
fuck a woman who fucks white dudes.
It's just don't tell me I'm a queen of spades.
And then halfway through the night your tattoo wear off.
Like, wait a minute, you know, you know.
Sometimes you're just trying to. But see now, but, and here's the
thing that's also different and that's you said it earlier, a
lot of couples, you said it actually, couples come into the
lifestyle and they don't know if they're hot wife or cook.
That's every couple when they first step into it.
There's very few couples who know what they are because most
men fight the masculinity thing first.
They know they want to be cooks, but they're still trying to
figure out, well, if I tell my wife I want to be this, how is
she going to see me? So they ease her into it, not
me. And you will be talking to that
husband on the phone or online, and we know what he is already.
But then you get there and he's doing this waffling between
trying to be this and not trying to be too much of this.
And you can see it and you be sitting there like this fucking
with my heart on because this dude can't figure out who the
fuck he is, You know, So I, I do see you on that, that
standpoint. I look for keys.
When I come to the party, it's the only thing.
I look for keys. I look for the keys.
Keys couple you see. What I'm saying like you didn't
even know what I'm talking. About.
But do you know what I was talking about?
How the 1st? Time right?
What are? You talking about coke keys?
And when they locked that key that they locked with the wife
wearing around their neck? So this guy is you?
Already know what the situation is.
So, so he's a high level operator.
When I say high level operator, he's actually a bull and he's
had years of experience in it. And so he's looking, he's going
to deal with couples with years of experience in it.
And if he takes on a couple who doesn't have years of
experience, and that's because the husband said if he takes him
on, the husband said, hey, I'm new at this.
I know what I want. And she agrees that she wants
this and he's talked to them and he sees not a wife just saying
it for the sake of her husband. So now there's going to be a lot
of things that he speak of right now that unless you are a high
level operator, you won't even comprehend.
That's why I said he's, he's not prefacing certain things because
he's assuming that everyone knows what he's saying.
I know what he's saying because I've been sitting there like,
you got to be fucking kidding me.
And I'm not even a QoS kind of guy.
Like I'm I don't, I am not a fan of only a QoS because I have
this thing with my ego where if I'm sitting here and fucking
Thor is next to me and you choose me just because I'm black
and you just disregarded the fact that this dude is rich and
he's buff and he's got a big Dick and I'm only winning
because I'm black. So that means that fucking Urkel
could have been here. That does nothing for my ego.
Like that does nothing for me. But that's only me.
But you got muscles. You got muscles though.
That's true. What?
But they think they're assuming that he's dragging the ground
when they get in that bedroom. But you.
But because he's tall. Yeah, I'm.
Going to bring with you there. So now, so now this high level
operator right here. Every short guy I've ever dated
has carried a fucking tripod or a baby leg.
But she sniffs. Out.
My wife is a big Dick whisperer. She'll be looking at some dude
like not that. One no, we call it Big Dick.
Energy. Guys carry a certain energy when
they have a big Dick. But size or not even a big Dick,
just they know how to lay down Dick, they have a certain
energy. You can see it in their ego,
however. And what I try to do too, when I
like couples that I meet and that I already, you know, I
introduced them to other couples.
So it kind of helped fill in space.
I did like I don't have all the questions to answer so I don't
have time for that. So I introduced them to other
couples that they could share and get on these, you know,
telegrams and you know share information.
So when they do get seasoned because I didn't told a couple
friends, I look get you about two years in and come back in.
Yeah, Absolutely. Absolutely.
Seriously. Yeah.
And know I can know what you're about how you doing like what's
going on. I can tell like the husbands, I
stay away from the young crowd because I know a lot of them is
just modeling. They just putting on the
clothes. They just there's no disrespect
from them. They paying their money.
They should have the best time or they like how they want to
have it. But I treasure my time and I
look at it like this and like her for instance, she
aggressive, she going to go after what she want.
I prefer to talk to females that FLR female led relationship in
the cocoa they do most of the talking.
That three-way shit complicates stuff sometimes.
He think he know his wife and he really don't because when we do
get in the room he find out she's doing it like things
because he never had the opportunity to do those things
with her. I ran into that just last night,
and my husband, somebody approached us and he was just
like, you know, I kept talking to this guy because I didn't
know he would like this guy. And I'm like what?
The fuck are you thinking? I would like that guy.
That's why some females are saying I don't need my husband
to talk to me. I'm going to talk to myself.
Like I know what I want. I know who I want to play with,
you know? Hey, babe, hey, look, I'm in,
I'm in room 484. I'm going to take you when I get
up there and let you know I'm doing OK and I'll be back down,
You know, I mean, if they got that type of relationship.
That's where I need to. Get what you.
Have you have to talk to? Other women sometimes and.
As a shy person, I'm not there yet.
Or you can, you can train, you can train him to be your
mouthpiece. Like it's OK.
It's if, if you are in that female led relationship, you
can't like, because that's you can train him to say what you
want, how you want. And then you let him know, Hey,
once, once you get to the room, she's in charge, you know,
because that makes things easier for, for me, because what he
said is probably the truest thing.
And and the percentage of couples who don't know their
wives. The percentage of men who don't
know their wives, not. Necessarily.
Well, because they've assumed, or they've not asked or they.
Didn't no or she she didn't feel comfortable telling them,
comfortable to say yeah or or they or and and to their
defense, they will meet a high level operator who takes them to
a different place, but not. Necessarily other elements like
I'm a long haired guy kind of person.
So, so you're, so you're talking about the physical attributes.
So we're talking about yeah, so he's talking about the sexual in
the bedroom attributes. And The thing is this.
Well, the misunderstanding is, yeah, so, so the
misunderstanding is this. It's kind of like, imagine
you're trying to put a board up on 8 foot shelf, right?
Your husband can only reach the five foot shelf.
He knows you within the parameters of his limitations of
the five foot shelf. They run into this guy who takes
that board and puts it on the 8 foot shelf.
It wasn't his lack of knowing, it was him being able to take
her somewhere. Now what winds up happening is
people also to understand that's not necessarily a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing at all. Because here's the thing, your
relationship with your mate, when you're in the bedroom and
when you do anything, you got a pile of bills on top of it, kids
on top of the dog on top of it, life on top of it, stress on top
of it, All of these things are piling on top of it.
When he shows up, that's. Just.
Fun. He's got one job, you 2 have one
thing in common and that's it. So he's doing it, relieving your
stress and without added stress. So now he can take you to this
place. Now you're going to get the
husbands who freak out. And I see I've had the husband
crying or meet me and a dude. I don't understand why she's
responding. You, you've seen it.
You've done it. I don't understand why she's
responding like that to me. I've never seen her do this.
Well, yeah, because you, you, you've got fucking 30 years of
life on top of your shit. You know what I'm saying?
But we understand that oftentimes the husbands don't
have anybody to reference and talk to about why my wife is
doing this. When I find dudes for my wife, I
want a guy that's going to be a take her mind off of all the
bullshit. And I had to tell my wife years
ago, don't say dumb shit to me daddy.
Your Dick is the best I'll ever have.
First of all, stop the best Dick.
You going to ever have his new Dick If you get the best Dick
you going to get is brand new Dick if it's a high level
operator, somebody who know how to fuck.
If I've been fucking you for all these years and one of these
dudes can't show up and fuck you better when you know every
trick, every move, I can move, I can I can lean to the left and
you completely switch into the position that you know no stop.
Don't We removed all the line from our don't fucking lie to
me. This is not the best Dick.
You love me the most OK, Because I'm not doing acrobatics with
you every night no more. Last night she went and had all
the fun she can have and she came in the bedroom and I was
laying down and that little ass bed and I, I gave her my usual
lie hey come cuddle with me. She came over, I climbed on top
of her, stuck it in nice and slow, and we had very regular
sex while she whispered in my ear and I whispered in her ear.
The last dude was doing all kind of hanging off the chandeliers.
I wasn't doing that shit. This wasn't the best Dick you
had all night. It was the best connection.
It was the best connection you had all night.
So my wife can now separate the physical from the emotional.
So yeah, but but you what he's saying is when I say preaching
it, it it's hard to explain that concept to a guy when I can make
your wife experience something that you can't fucks with their
head. Compartmentalization.
Let me back down just a little bit.
So you guys were talking about if you see a white white woman
who is holding herself out as a QS, but you see her fucking
white guys, right? Do you?
Do you still so? Write it back.
We put you got the tag with a Queen's faith.
You can't just say a white woman, you have to say a white
woman that's betraying the room of a queen.
No, right. Yeah, I said QS right.
So I'm not a cook so I can't relate to it, but I know that
there are some cooks that they literally will not have sex with
their own wife. They want to be pussy free
somehow it works for their marriage or whatever.
But if you see AQS but you know she still has sex with her white
wife with her white husband, do you have that same reaction that
she's not keys in? My wallet and I stay in Fort
Wayne, IN. I got a key.
To explain the keys. But did you?
What you just said that they won't have sex because it's it's
dealing with it's it's it's control, OK.
Everybody's got their. It's control.
Yeah, yeah. Explain the.
Explain the keys the. Reason I'm showing you the keys
because say your comment again, I want you to repeat your
question again so I can be a a better answer than what the.
Question is, if it is a a white wife who holds herself out as
the queen of spades, but you know she's still having sex with
her white husband, do you also have that same negative reaction
torture? Like maybe she's not.
She's not. If she's a true spade, she is
certain things that she's going to allow him to do sexually.
She might lock him up for two or three months and then she might.
And if they do have sex, it might be he.
It might be to where he only jacks off.
He might not have physical penetration in his wife.
She might do other things that bring enjoyment to him.
I have dealt with plenty of couples haven't fucked their
wife in five years. No more sex with attraction.
So you might see when you're dealing with it ain't just
dealing with just like these people are separated sexually.
They are not no longer now they love each other.
They're family, unions, raising kids.
But when it comes to the sex, it's it's like it's done.
So by your definition then that Queen of Space will never have
sex with her I. Didn't say never.
I didn't say never. So he said, Will you?
Play with her how far they go with the husband you got take me
as I have a queen of it's a queen upstairs right me and her
got what I'm going to say She I told her the other day she said
that she have sex outside of America right what she and I
told her I said, you know not really a true space.
She said well I kind of been debating about that.
I said you know why I said that? She said yeah, because I exactly
she also understand the concept, but you try to speak about
something you really don't know because you just.
No, he was asking the question he was speaking about.
He's asking you a question. No, he's still no.
You haven't answered the question though.
He's waiting for the answer. Will you fuck her if she fucks
her? Husband.
Yeah, no, that was just a question.
He wouldn't challenge you. He just asked the question.
No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If your wife. Was a queen and asked and she
was fucking you. Then I probably went fucking
yeah, pretty much that because because it's just jump in.
Interracial extra play. It's a special.
And I've met. People.
It is that, you know, they use that Queen of Space tag for the
bedroom and that's it. You know what I'm?
Saying right. All the way up to the people
that, like you say, have keys. But.
My wife will have sex with any good looking black man but no
white guy no matter how right there is.
Huge aspect. Right, right.
So she still considers herself. Yes.
So here's the thing, she's not. So what he's talking about,
Yeah, what he's talking about is the the ones who are hardcore,
like fall on their, you know, fall on my.
I'm gonna die on this hill this because there are the women out
there who are and those are the women's who will talk shit about
another woman. Those are the ones who like over
the top. So.
Yeah, yeah. So those.
Guys are over talking to simplify.
He has his preference and he said there's a spectrum.
We're separated at parties, but you guys are together because
you're more comfortable being with him.
There's a huge spectrum. That's why it's called
lifestyle. You came here, you experienced
this, that whatever you decided, OK, I don't like this.
Like when we first got in lifestyle, I I didn't, I don't
dislike girls, OK? I just don't play with girls.
I love women if your titties while I'm getting fucked, but
there has to be a Dick somewhere.
But I had to. I evolved to that, but it was
just because I just decided that Dick was better than pussy.
No offense to anybody that. Like I said, however, whatever
your play style is, you said there's a spectrum for
everything. There's spectrums, yes.
QoS, playing by yourself, playing together.
Yeah, exactly. All of the things, yeah.
So it's also your own personal preference.
You. He doesn't like certain things,
you don't like certain things. You know you don't like certain
things. And it's OK just to say that to
everybody. But because we're digressed and
now we only have 15 minutes because you dominated the
conversation as usual, it's your.
Fault. It's your fault, but yeah, we're
going to pick that up for sure though.
So yeah, man, navigating by yourself, we're going to go back
to that. We were talking about women.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ladies. Ladies, the ladies.
I'll catch you later on. That was the whole point.
Yeah, we'll be up there. Navigating yourself, though,
I've always been fun with myself, but it was because of
the dynamic we began with. So I, I was scared the first
time. He's my blanket.
He's your blanket. Everybody has a blanket that
they carry around. You know that.
He was my blanket. And once I know enough people,
we, we go to familiar places. When it's unfamiliar, I'm quiet.
Ask him. I am quiet for the first hour or
so. And then I'll talk to anybody.
But if I know somebody for for me at these parties, I find
people I know, I know her. If he's doing something, I can
walk up to her. Some guy.
I don't want to play with it. You always have it.
You have another safety net, especially here because you see
a lot of the same people. So it is easier to navigate that
stuff here. You just have to talk to people.
But everyone here, even including like the staff, the
just everybody standing around, they're all, if anything
happened, I never worry about my safety here.
Yeah, ever. Yeah, yeah, Ever.
And, and I actually even sorry, I actually even did bring an
issue, you know, to him just to like, I just need you to be
aware. I'm not asking you to handle
anything. I just need you to be aware,
like I'm aware this is this is what you know, could potentially
this is how I'm feeling. And if I need something and he's
like, you know, this is how we're going to handle it.
And then if you need something, you just, you just come find one
of us. And again, you know, I could go
up. I could go to anybody that I
know. I woke up to you and be like,
listen, I'm gonna need you to keep me.
Company, can you be my built in boyfriend for a moment?
Thanks. Yeah, I'm just going to, I'm
going to walk up and I'm going to be like, oh, Yep, hi, how are
you? Yep, we're going to talk for
just a minute and then whatever the situation is, it's going to
go away and then we're going to all move on.
And those are usually like the newer guys that like aren't, are
less experienced and they haven't, they don't know what to
do. They think if they stare at you
like a piece of steak and stare at you awkwardly long enough,
you're going to be like, yeah, let me jump on your Dick.
No, that's doesn't work that way to.
Something that you said earlier about like approaching other
women, I, I had to learn because I'm in this and I'm kind of shy
outside of this environment. In this environment, I I'm not
anymore, but also do know a lot of people now.
However, I also am not afraid to walk up to a woman that I don't
know. And you know, whether yeah, I'm
creepy, yeah. Or even just to walk up to you
and speak to you. Like if you, if I see you, I'm
going to be like, hey, how are you?
Like, you know, especially if I've never seen you before, you
know, just to try to be like. So I had to learn to like, not
be afraid to approach women too, though, because that was more
intimidating for me, I think, to approach women than it was to
approach. Men, I think we're probably our
best resource, you know, if we get to know each other.
And hey, this guy's a lot of fun.
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Yeah, references. But just to move background from
one second as far as safety goes, I went to the newbies and
couples things just an hour ago. So with Darren and as I told him
then as a first timer, I have not felt any slight bit of
unsafety unsafe moment. And especially as a newbie with
some trauma history, I've been awesome.
I've been felt amazing. I think that's a big question
now. Time.
My husband's not been feeling well.
He's been spending a lot of time upstairs and I've been on my
own. I've been cool, I've been great.
I've chatted with a lot of people, people who come up to me
and introduce yourselves and talk, chatted.
I've been great. Yeah.
So as far as that goes, this event has been phenomenal.
The safety here because just like you said, you can and in my
first one or two it was the same thing I it the first one I was
kind of like you I was kind of attached I was kind of like by
the second one I was like I can go downstairs you just you need
to work in the room and just say that's fine, stay in the room
I'm good I'm I can go downstairs I'll text you I'll let you know
if I go anywhere else like, you know and, and it just and it
evolves into that because. I wasn't being afraid like
someone was going to like, pick me up and rape me.
Mine was more, yeah, just fear of the unknown.
I'm not good at news stuff. I don't do well with change like
bring, bring that on slow, bring that.
Slow. Nobody that meets my wife would
ever guess that she's an introvert.
But she's very much like you. Until she knows people.
She's 100% faking it and she would rather not.
She'd rather go and just be by herself.
But she forced herself. But once she knows somebody,
there's no off switch, right? And then she feels like she can
be in that space and make those connections.
And and for me, like that fear of the unknown, I'm going to ask
1000 questions. I'm not good at that.
Oh no, I'm going to ask 1000 questions.
I'm. Probably going to latch on to
one or two of you and be like, hi guys.
Listen, I'm still asking questions.
I just sent a message. I'm like, where do I need to be
later? And what do I need to be
wearing? Like just tell me.
Another T-shirt says massive white cock.
Don't you? I'm just saying give.
That to me they'll be surprised when they see it.
It's an oxy is actually a small black cock instead of a massive
white 1. You know so so I have to ask.
So since you've been here before we wrap up, I know you're saying
like for you as a bull trying to get, trying to give her the
space to have fun. Have you made any adjustments
since you start? Since you got here, Yeah.
This isn't our first rodeo. We've done this at some other
events and I've had to be the aggressor and go out and make
the connection. Invite, you know, invite the 18
minutes, come on over to room 412 or whatever.
You know, I've since we've been to this mocha in particular,
I've had to, you know, just step.
Back and let. Conversations happen, I've seen
them happen and I've seen me come into the picture and just.
Are you standing in the background like a security
guard? I tend to have target security
vibe. Don't do.
That pro tip? Don't do that, this guy.
Well, he he heard me yesterday. Fucking. 1st event like someone
walked because I I even used to tell him like daddy, no one
wants to talk to us because you look scary you're standing back
in the corner like this and you're catching my clothes like
Oh yeah that's my wife I'm like OK, but then no one wants to
fuck that and I'm. Like I I want that one.
I mean, I like, I like a little scary, but no, I mean not.
That's not everybody's thing. So so.
To answer the question, it's it's a constant evolutionary
process. I don't want her to do something
with her body. That's my like, I want to see
her with another man, but I don't want to push her into it.
I want her to be like, yeah, I want, I want to do that.
And last night we had that experience and it was, how did
it go? She's like, I'm like, do you
want to be with this guy? And she's like, do I want to be
with this guy? And I'm like.
That's. Behind me, I don't know, I was
doggy. But I'm trying to.
You're like, this is fine, yeah. So it's a constant evolutionary
and learning process, I think. But I think to make meaningful
connections, I think you're on target.
You know, I've got to be able to say, hey, I like that dude,
could you let him know it's OK? Yeah.
Yeah, and and don't stand in the background like a security guard
when they start talking. Like you said, I came in the
door, there was a conversation happening.
I had a hard U-turn. Yeah, yeah.
But what about the opposite? What about women who want to
work for a kid? Yeah, we have a program.
We have a whole plan. So he's allowed to do anything
he wants, anytime he wants, and he will.
Solo a lot. So when we come to this
environment, hot wife he comes to, for me to have the weekend,
to have experiences and to have him with me so that I feel
comfortable having those experiences with strangers.
Target security. And until I think, until he can
see that I can relax and do this better than, I mean, I used to,
we used to do this all the time. I mean, I just haven't done it
for a long time. So he rolls solo when he's here.
I often say, hey, you know, why don't you go back downstairs and
you know, or whatever. But he won't because he's
waiting for me to open up. It takes practice though.
It takes practice to be a few rounds.
When we first got together our practice was I fucked one of his
friends, right? That's what we've been.
It sounds exciting, OK, but I was fucking terrified.
It was a girl 1st and I cried. I mean I won't admit that to
very many people but here we are.
I definitely cried but it was also one of his ex girlfriends.
We like fucked up shit sometimes.
So I was like you know what, I'll do it, it's fine.
But for me, I've never seen him fuck anybody else before so I
didn't know what was going to happen.
And I was vanilla before. I'm kind of I was this whore,
but vanilla just didn't know there was lifestyle and they're
playing and they kissed a little too long and I got pissed off
because that's what I do. I picked up on my clothes on.
I was like, apparently this is for you guys.
And I started crying in the he was like, no, no, no, no, this
is for you da da da da. And I was then I go home the
next day because I'm super prideful and I was so
embarrassed. Like I didn't, I didn't even
know if I was going to talk to him again because I was so
embarrassed. She knew she was going to talk.
I didn't. Know that we broke up.
She absolutely she. Absolutely knew we move on to we
got over that part. Then he's like, I want you to
fuck my friend. And I was excited to fuck his
friend and I had to have threesome with two other guys.
But now it's somebody I cared about, you know, probably guys.
I'm at the bar and I'm like, yeah, let's go fight, you know,
can I bring my friend? Sure.
But I, we start playing and I fucking panicked.
I'm sucking the guy's Dick. He's hot as fuck.
He walks out of the room and I'm like, oh fuck, he's mad.
So now I can't concentrate. Like I still did it.
Don't get me wrong, I still did it.
But when he came back in the room, it was like a sense of
relief. Like even though I said like,
are you mad? And he's like, no, I'm not upset
at all. But I couldn't believe I had to
convince myself that he wasn't going to be upset.
And the more I did, he wasn't going to be upset.
I mean, I still hold back until. Long time, yeah, but it is it.
Life is tit for tat. I ask you to do something that's
way the fuck outside of what's reasonable.
You do it. You were.
Wild to realize that he means. It but but here's the thing,
it's my job to prove it. I have to prove to you that I'm
OK with it. So my usual resting Dick face
and my usual just blah blah personality.
Every time she did something, enjoyed it, I made sure that I
did something to show her that not only am I not upset, but I'm
happy. So it became a rewarding system
over a period of time so that you understand.
Because most often times, you know, as dudes, we will say,
yeah, we want you to do something while our Dick is
hard. And then as soon as we bust a
nut, it's like, yeah. Listen, and the fact that he
told me I was a good girl every time, I was like, I'm fucking
doing that 10 more times if that's the treatment that I get.
So and. That's why it takes some of us
1012 years. To get right but that like I
said, you have to I he tells me everything and he I can't tell
you a time. He's lied to me so he couldn't
understand for years why I didn't believe him though.
It's such a social programming that this is not the way life is
supposed to be. I don't think mine was that.
I just think I couldn't figure out why I couldn't believe him.
I don't know why and he couldn't understand why.
Yeah. Mostly.
Social programming, I would get frustrated personally because
I'm like, when we first met, I had like four other girlfriends.
You know, I am, I was, I was brutally honest.
Like I use my honesty as a club the first six months of us being
together. You know, honestly, from my
standpoint for conditioning, you know, there was times when she'd
say, well, I can't believe you said it like that.
And I'm like, you want me to lie because the second you tell me
you want me to lie about something, you want me to lie
and say that I don't think that dress makes you look like shit.
I can lie to you. But if I lie to you Now here's
the problem. You're giving me the power to
determine when I need to lie to you.
So when I fuck your sister and not tell you what not to hurt
your feelings, it was it was it was not to hurt your feelings
because you said, don't I need to determine when to lie to you.
So you want me to be honest or you don't.
So we started creating that relationship where we had
honesty and then she started learning that she could be
honest back. And it was like there was a time
she'd be honest and go, oh, that I hurt your feelings and no.
And then she'd be honest that it hurt your feelings.
No. So our our foundation was was,
but I didn't. Realize you didn't have very
many feelings either, so it wasn't very hard to hurt them.
And. When you got that from the
beginning, you know, when you you can build from the very
base, Yeah, it's a different ball game from when you thought
like 10 years of expected monogamy and then all of a
sudden it's like, you know, maybe we should try this and
then you try to build. Like honestly mine, I really
don't feel like mine was any of that because when I tell you I
was a full on whore beforehand, she was a freak.
I was doing all kinds of stuff and gave 0 fucks.
I just wasn't telling anyone, so it was literally just me because
I like to overthink things and make up scenarios because that's
just the best way to be. In the beginning I was like
fucking 13 strippers in the backyard and I just took the
trash out. It's easy to do that.
Evolution thing, you know, it's not just evolution to get to a
comfortable place. It continues throughout your
entire relationship. My wife and I started when we
were dating 30 years ago. I brought her into the lifestyle
because I knew she'd just take two like a fish to water.
And now we, we still have to do, you know, check insurance with
each other because what she likes today will be very
different than what she liked five years ago, 10 years ago, 20
years ago. So it's.
Definitely changes, yeah, absolutely.
Yes. I mean, we went from, we are,
we've done. Yeah, we've transitioned a lot
and that's that right there is probably one of the truest
statements you'll ever hear. And I say often she is the she's
the person that the aspect of the lifestyle that she brought
to me was understanding the importance of constantly
renewing our status. Where are we now?
What's your fantasies? And then being comfortable
telling each other, like I remember like in the beginning
I'm like, tell me your fantasies.
And we'd be talking and I'd be freaking her out.
And then we got to this point where like she pretty much, I
told her all this stuff, she told me all the stuff.
And then I'm like, one day we're talking and she's like, yeah, I
got fantasies that I don't think you can handle.
I'm like, who are you talking to?
I'm that guy. I can handle anything.
Then she told me the fantasy. I was like, whoa, whoa.
OK. All right.
Holy shit. Like you.
You. Want it completely.
Yeah. Like, I was like, yeah.
I'm going to tell you some shit. Now I'm like, OK, don't freak
out, don't freak out, don't freak out.
You know, like. Circuit performers and dancing.
Bears. Yeah, yeah.
OK. I would say that evolution
happens that even when you least expect it, while, you know,
trying to push some boundaries, we discovered that she's a
voyeur accidentally. I'm a cut.
Queen and she's watching. Me, I'd love to send them out
and have them come home dirty. She was, she was watching me
through a fence and discovered, you know, kind of discovered
this whole thing. And sometimes it happens like
that for us, you know, she gets on our head and I'm going to.
That wasn't bad, you know what I'm saying?
So that's pretty good through a fence being.
Open to new experiences also helps that evolutionary process.
Very much. I think we evolved.
We didn't think we could evolve any further.
And after all of my medical stuff last year, it took him a
while to believe me. So it wasn't just me.
We we flip-flopped here because I'm telling him I can't fuck you
and it it bothers me because I'm a submissive.
She's like going on get your Dick sucked.
I don't mean that. I said I don't care if you have
a girlfriend, I'll be super emotional for a second.
I said I feel like I can't sexually satisfy you right now,
which is always been what I've been able to do.
If I can't do anything else, I can do that.
And it bothered me too because I'm super submissive to him.
So I did not like that I can't. My pussy's broken.
Like I don't know what to do. So I told him, I kept telling
him, Daddy, you don't have a girlfriend, go play, go play, go
play. Because first of all, if I don't
get enough Dick, I'm in a fucking terrible mood.
OK, free sample. Just pump me full of cum and I'm
good to go. You know, I feel better.
So I just told him go get a girlfriend.
I don't care what you do this, that and the other for months he
wouldn't do anything. He was like, no, I'm not going
to. And I'm like daddy go.
And he because he couldn't believe that that's really what
I wanted him to do. But I did.
I know you at that point in time, you proved me enough that
we're going to be together. Whether or not you have a
girlfriend, 15 hoes on the side, I don't care.
You're still coming home to me. But she got me with logic.
She and I'm going to close out with how she got me.
She explained to me that it's not.
It's not fair for me to basically call her too weak to
handle what she's asking for. So she felt like I have the
right for you to do what I give you permission to do and at
least give me an opportunity to prove you that I can handle it.
And I told, I told him I was proud of myself because I feel
like I hadn't pushed boundaries for him in a long time.
He pushed a lot of boundaries for me.
And I kind of stopped because of where we were.
And I was like, you know, I'm trying to push boundaries for
you. And I feel like we're going
somewhere. But you're getting upset at me
because I pushed boundaries. So are are you going to do it?
And just I'll be uncomfortable. Any new boundary is going to be
uncomfortable. Nothing's going to be fun.
I mean, it might be. That's just what you want, but
it's not all. It's because it's the unknown.
You don't know what's going to happen.
You don't know how you're going to feel when you see it, when
you whatever happens. But at that point, I was like,
you work with it. Yeah, I'm going to be fine
either way. Yeah.
So. Well, guys, thank you so much
for joining us. We enjoyed the conversation and
that was that was great. And if you want to check us out,
we are O faces OFACEZ. Just you know, we we always
we're we're doing new, new episodes.
So check us out and we do Twitter spaces live sometimes.
So if you want to get on with us and and join the conversation,
ask questions, feel free. Thank you.
And you're looking like you can't take anymore right now.