Hello and welcome to another episode of Old Faces.
I'm your host, Mr. Mocha. Missus Mocha decides she want to
hang out with us, but that's fine because we are at Splash
Mocha. What year is this?
We're still 2024. We're almost 2025.
This is the last Splash Mocha of the year.
December. What's today's date?
20 December 30th. That's Monday the 30th.
And joining me on the cutting board is a group of gentlemen we
got from the left. Mr. Minks.
Everybody know Chris Minks. I don't know what your alias is,
Sir. OK, Andre.
I'm just making sure. Andre, we got Mister East Coast
Craig. To my right, we got Dimitri VC.
Everybody know him. And to the far right, you have
an alien brother. We got candy liquor.
I like it. I like it.
So on this podcast, Dimitri, myself, a lot of the other guys,
Mr. Minx is always aware of what's happening.
We want to talk about community. Community is a big word,
especially for the guys who attend Splash Mocha.
All things that community encompasses.
How is it beneficial? A community of guys who are able
to support, educate and what's the word I'm looking for and
inspire one another is beneficial to everyone.
Whether it's the couples they play with, the single women they
play with, or the interactions that they have within the
lifestyle. I always like to have a variety
of men. Mr. Minx is a husband who comes
to splash smoke. Everybody knows the Minxes.
He's he's kind of a hybrid. He he's able to do what what
needs to be done at the time. We have Dre, who's a single
brother in the lifestyle Mister East Coast.
We all know this freak, Dimitri. And then candy liquor is one the
brothers who's been coming to Moca now for you've been coming
since what, 21, three years, three years, 34?
Yeah, three years, three years. Now I'm going to start from the
left of the table, Mr. Minks, and start asking.
So what is what is the benefit of the guys within this
particular environment having a community?
What does community do? Community good topic to start
with today because this is Angel and ours, 10th mocha since
20/22. She came to the first one and
Atlanta and it was like, Oh my God, this is incredible.
I want to go to the next one. They're sold out, honey, I don't
care. And we went to the next one on
our own hotel and day passes driving in each day to attend
the event. So right off the bat, what
hooked us and hooked her was the community.
But me as the husband stag, how do I fit?
What's it going to be for me? Is it even going to be a fun
weekend or should I just send her on her own?
Those are all the initial questions.
Right away. The the guys reached out the
guys. I mean, I felt like a celebrity
by come Saturday night's party, the black and White Party,
right? I'm like, well, here was my
joke. I'm going to be a ghost
literally at this event, right? Nobody's going to care what I
look like, but I'm going to dress up.
And I went and bought the fancy suit, you know, coat that I
wanted and white pants. And I got some black and white,
you know, kicks, tuxedo style shoes and came running down and
I was putting things on and the wife's like, leave the shirt
off. So I did a Sport coat.
Fancy white Sport coat, No shirt you.
Had a bow tie on dude. And I had a bow tie, right?
So I'm like, nobody's even going to notice me.
And as soon as I hit the hallway, guys were like, man,
you look good. Like where'd you get those
shoes? I mean, I was we, we got slowed
down going to things, not because of her, but because guys
are stopping and talking to me. I it was, I had felt like all of
a sudden I'm with Kinsman Brotherhood was welcomed.
Didn't care what my role was, how we played in the lifestyle
or anything like that. They're just like, this is a
cool dude. And ever since then that has
continued to this one. We haven't been this is only our
second mocha this year. We haven't seen a lot of our
friends forever. We always talk about this as a
family as much as it is a tight community.
And we walked in, it took us 1/2 an hour on an off night, wasn't
even the event starting yet, just to make it through the
lobby to get to our room because all the family, all the friends,
all the brothers, everybody just welcoming you back.
Where have you been? We have missed you.
I don't get that kind of reception when I show up at my
family's house. And I haven't seen my mother in
five years, right? So it's really about that
community thing. And then I sent Angel down on
the first day yesterday walking around and she text me said you
have to hurry up and come down here.
Everybody wants to see you. They asking we want to hang out
with Chris Minx. Where is he?
You got to get down here. So that's that, that extra
special that comes from gathering with these guys like
minds, shared open minds without that judgment, without all that
other stuff that society hangs on us nowadays and just accepts
that we are people who have like to have a lot of fun.
And that's what that that brotherhood of that collection
means to us all. Right.
I mean that that's Mr. Minx. I wanted to keep it going, give
it to Andre because you have his perspective of community.
But then now where's the other benefits?
What would you say the benefits to having a strong community is,
Andre? So, you know, the benefits
really come down to the fact that you have people that you
really feel like you can reach out to and talk to without the
normal pressures of life of just trying to find a friend in real
life that we all live. You're you're going to the
grocery store. You might see somebody like, how
weird would I be if I just walk up to that person, say, hi, my
name is Andre. I'd like to be your friend.
You would be mortified by that just by doing that.
And here we have this ability to be able to say, Hey, I want to
get to know you. I want to know where you're
from. I, you know, whenever I'm in
that town, I'd like to get to know you and be able to travel
there or you're going somewhere, I'd like to be able to go there
with you. So I have people that I know
that are at that location and it's just not me going in.
I think the only way that normal, everyday vanilla people
can really have the closest feeling to this if they never
want to enter into lifestyle is going on a cruise.
A cruise is the only place I've ever seen where people will find
a lifetime best friend. And we get to do that with not
just one other person. That's normally what ends up
being when I go to a cruise, I find this one other family and
then we're best friends for that whole time and we message
afterwards. But these lifestyle events here,
it's splash has been like, it's that, but it's for 50 families
or 50 different people. So it really, truly sounds
unbelievable. It's one of those things you
just have to experience to really take it all in, to see
the experience of how amazing these events end up being, how
the true friendships are. People have to understand sex
only lasts so long. Even the people who think that
they can go hours, you will spend more hours talking to
people than you will playing with them.
Because we eliminate the desire of having to lie about the two
major things that people lie about, which is sex and money.
I none of the most of us, you know, there's, there's, there's,
we don't have to talk about money because that's has nothing
to do with why we're here. So no one really talks about
that. And then we all know that we
came here to enjoy different parts and different enjoyment
parts of sex. And we can have the open
communication by saying, Hey, I'm interested in this, You're
interested in this perfect. You know, ours don't match, but
I know someone who matches with what you want.
Let me put you on with this person.
And I still really like to eat with you and still really like
to get to know you. So it becomes this thing where
you've eliminated the two barriers that really hold people
back from having open communication past the idea of
leaving high school. So that's, that's the thing of
lifestyle that I've just truly seen that I enjoy.
That is that's, that's a conversation I've had over and
over. When it comes to the lifestyle
and community, it's there's nothing like it.
There's absolutely nothing like it where I can be with this
group of people who I can be so honest with.
The level of honesty is unreal. You know, I, I had a debate with
somebody recently and they were saying that, you know, someone
within a lifestyle has an unnatural attachment to the
lifestyle. From my standpoint, having an
unnatural attachment to the lifestyle is not possible.
It doesn't even make sense. If if I have met a group of
people that I can talk to about everything, sex, religion, my
kids, everything. Like, think about it, you have
people you've known your whole life and you have to lie to
them. You can't say, hey, what you do
this weekend. Yeah, my wife got fucked by 27
guys. Oh, yeah.
By the way, we're going to the kids graduation next week.
You can't do that. So now all of a sudden I've met
somebody for the first time for 5 minutes, and I already know
that we're going to be great friends.
Are, you know, every time I see them, they're going to smile.
I know I can be more honest with everybody here then I can be
with 99% of the people I know. You can never tell me that I
have an unnatural attachment to this where I can come here and
be honest all weekend and then I have to go back out into regular
life. And so what'd you do in in
Florida? Oh, well, I went to see the
mother-in-law. I'm lying the yeah, yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't see her, but then that was and and there are
people who literally will go visit somebody or go do a thing
and then yeah, yeah, go do a thing to hide that.
They come to say that, yeah, we did it.
We've got these receipts. Mostly did.
It's a solid this year though by hosting a wedding.
So now we're just told. We're at a wedding.
We're at a friends wedding. There you go, that's what we're.
Doing. OK, cool.
So thank you, Mocha. Yeah, exactly.
For putting on that event, that's a.
That was a built in excuse. That so, so the, the concept of
the community that we experience, the way we can talk,
I can talk to him about extremely personal stuff.
We have people every day walk up to us and say, man, you know, I
had the situation with my wife or hey, I had the situation with
my husband. And we will literally sit down
and have the most open, candid conversation.
You know, I have I, I can say it out loud.
I've went to D I've gone to Chris.
Like, man, bro, my Dick just is not working today.
Like, I don't know who can do that.
Like your vanilla buddies, if you like.
Yeah, bro, I couldn't get my Dick hard at this party, you
know, Yeah, they gonna laugh at you.
So the level of communication that we experience within our
community means that this is the most natural level of
communicating because we teach people to lie.
We teach our spouses to lie. We teach our friends to lie to
us. You know, when I tell you
something honest and you judge me, memo to me, I like hanging
around this person so I can't tell them the truth.
You know, I remember telling my wife that years ago I said
something about an outfit. She got upset that I was honest
and I asked her, do you want me to lie to you?
Yes. If I start lying to you, do I
get to determine whenever I lie to you?
Is it up to me? Because if I let the neighbors
suck my Dick and lie about it, it's only not to hurt your
feelings, not mine. So do we want to set the
precedent? No.
OK. That's how we actually condition
people around us to lie. So we are in an environment we
can be completely honest. 100% open.
Yeah, like this is the most natural situation.
So when someone goes, someone has an unnatural attachment to
the lifestyle. What?
Even when I can't have sex? Even when I'm sick?
My wife was sick after her situation.
The minxer came to the house. Dmitri call all the time, all
these people who checked on my wife, she couldn't play, she
couldn't do anything. We still have people calling the
house all the time checking on it, you know, So it was never
isn't. Don't get me wrong, she's
probably out there right now juggling balls, but he's not
just about the ball juggling, you know, so so when I think of
community, that's what I think about Mister East Coast, because
you travel hito all over the place.
A lot of people do talk to you and come to you for advice and
for counsel. What does this community,
where's the benefit in this community and when it comes to
people being able to talk to you?
I'll say this as as far as the community, man, there is, and
I'm not sure how many people feel like this.
I know you kind of probably feel like this, but this community is
special. If I get in a jam, it's more
than likely that I'll reach out to somebody in this community.
Then I would reach out to friends and especially family.
And it's not that I don't love my family or anything like that.
You know, I love my family. Love, love friends, coworkers,
well, some of them coworkers, but some of them came.
I can't stand but but I'd rather reach out to and I think part of
it is because of that honesty that you spoke of and
everything, man, but I'd rather reach out to lifestyle community
members. There is so many members in this
that are all sorts of whatever you need.
You know, I need help with this. I need help with that.
I need help with real estate. I need help finding this.
I need a plumber. And there are people in the
lifestyle that you can reach out to and be like, hey, I need
this. Oh, I know so and so I'll see if
he can come and help you out and you know, you going to have a
good experience with them rather than trying to find somebody on
your own, you know, but like you said, traveling and, and talking
to a lot of people, man, I, I, I, I meet so many people all
over the world and, and now that I'm doing a lot of stuff
internationally to meet a lot of people and, and yeah, it's,
it's, it's a special feeling, man.
It's a special community. The one thing I've always said
about Splash is this is it was even more so earlier when it was
only one a year where it was like this was like it really is
a brotherhood. You know, we, we see people and
now that they're 6A year, you know, I may see this some people
every, you know, 66 splashes or three splashes, but you see this
person and I may not know them, but I hey, man, how you doing?
It's good to see you again. You know what's going on this
couple here. Hey, it's good to see you guys
again. You know, it is, it is a special
and I don't, you know, you don't do that outside of this, outside
of the community, man. It's just it's a different
feeling. And I'm not sure if it's partly
because of what you said, the, the honesty and truthfulness
around everything because she can go out and fuck 20 dudes in
a night, 30 dudes in a weekend. But outside of that bedroom, you
still people. And we still talk and, and, and
get along with everything, man, you know, and, and there's I was
talking to, so I was with Barbell vixen this weekend and
she, this is like her third or fourth splash and introducing
her to people, you know, and she's, and I'm like, you know,
This is why I enjoy it because there's people at our table.
And I said to her, I said, these are honest, good, kind, caring
people, you know, And you see that in these people, you know,
you talk to them and they would do whatever they could to help
you if, if you need it, some help.
So like I said, I would rather reach out to a lot of lifestyle
family members that I've met here at Splash than I would to a
lot of people in my vanilla. Like there is not even a
question as to if I would reach out to people here.
I know and I know they would do everything possible to help me
out, you know? One of the things that I like
that you said, and it's there's a lot of things that being in
this type of community that we take for granted.
For example, we can all talk about sex.
We can all talk about how much fun you had last night.
We can literally be sitting at breakfast and you'd be like, Oh
yeah, my wife had a threesome last night with these two dudes
while I was sitting there working on my computer.
And like, no one's face, it's not weird.
Nobody's like there's nobody going up.
Like it just blows right past like, oh, really cool, cool.
You know, we it's the correct, it's the best sensation where
that feeling of judgment walk goes away.
So you'll see people who are new, they come in and it's like
the women, usually the women have their thing, the guys have
their thing. The guys have this huge struggle
with their masculinity. Oh, well, if I let my wife do
this, where these guys going to be thinking, you know, I, I
don't want you to think I'm this right.
And then the women are, well, you know, I know I shouldn't
want to do this. Well, I'm only going to, I'm
only going to do like 2 guys. I'm only going to do 2.
And then you'll be talking to them and they'll be having this
internal struggle. And then when you sit down and
talk to them and my wife, I love when my wife talking to new
women and they're talking and they're like, yeah, you know,
you know, I kind of want to do, you know, maybe one or two guys,
you know, and my wife's like, yeah, I've done 15.
It's Thursday just started. And she's like, and then they're
listening to these conversations, you know, with
the ladies talk. And all of a sudden they
realize, wait a minute. I can literally do what guys do.
Like, 100%. You're talking to some guy who
you just played with and you get up and he's still treating you
like a lady. You know, you during that
session, Like, if you listen to my wife have sex, she's nasty.
She's like, fuck this dirty whore.
Plus. Then afterwards, she's like, oh,
would you like a washcloth? You know?
And like, you're sitting there watching her banter with these
guys and the guys, like being a gentleman.
He's like, you also water. Yeah.
Thank you. And you just walk away.
That's our community. So when we come into this place
where we can actually just be, and that's why I always tell
people, do what feels right, you know, because we start
questioning why am I this kind of person?
Why do I have this desire like? Why are you asking?
Does it? Does it feel right?
That's just the conditioning that everyone has been taught
from the time that they were little, you know, And this is
contradictory to everything that you've ever learned about, which
is good about like Scarlet the slut sisters.
It's like, listen, female empowerment.
You choose who you want to fuck. It doesn't matter if it's 1015
dudes in the night, you still are in power and you're still a
a beautiful strong woman. Doesn't mean that just because
you want to fuck 15 dudes in the night in an hour or whatever it
is, you still a strong, beautiful, powerful woman, you
know. And but again, that's it's just
everything that we do is contradictory to what we've
always been taught and grown up to see and everything you know.
And you know, in my opinion, you'll know your community is a
good community when those things are normalized, when it's oh,
you want to have fun? I could have fun.
It's not the oh, you going to do what?
Because within the lifestyle, understand, you know, the
lifestyle there, the lifestyle, there's still a lot of
communities within lifestyle that are very judgmental, very,
very judgmental. Humans are humans.
That's just how it is. Humans are humans and my wife
and I are, you know, this is a small bubble in the lifestyle
community. You know, we, we are involved in
a lot of different places in the lifestyle.
And so it's interesting, you have different groups where you
will see different judgment where it's like, you know, we
have parties where we have parties where people don't
openly have sex with black dudes, but like there's three or
four wives there who are having sex with black dudes.
Now we respect that because we understand that they still have
to go out to society and be comfortable and we respect that.
But within their within that bubble of people, we know we'll
go out, we'll hang out these people.
And there's like four people who didn't know that they did this
and they met at our party. And it's kind of like the, yeah,
like secret, you know, is, you know, but we're still in that
community where nobody else can admit that.
That's one of the things I like about this particular community
where you can come in and like, literally, like, there's nothing
weird. Like there's the cocktail party.
You walk in, the guys are in full cages, hanging out
drinking, and everybody's comfortable.
Like, there's like, the guys come in there.
There's no weird looks, you know, But there's certain
communities and lifestyle. You can't do that, you know, you
go in there and the guys like, Oh my God, I can't believe, you
know. So this is one of the things I
like about it. Now we'll move over to Dimitri
because there's a big aspect of the community that I like.
Oh boy, with D within this community, when we start talking
about the benefit to the guys interacting with the other guys,
you know, we, we've, we, we've seen where there's a lot of guys
who are in certain spaces who didn't have the mentoring.
So unfortunately, it takes a good 5-10 years for a single guy
or bull to get seasoned, to get the experience to, to start
understanding the difference between you as a couple and you
as a couple and you as a couple and being able to adapt to that.
What does the community with the guys?
How has that kind of fast, fast track guys in your opinion?
Well, I will say this to start off in the beginning, well, my
journey within the lifestyle, we didn't really have a community
that welcomed us nor do we have the support from the people as
well. So with that being said, going
into these parties and these other convinces out there,
practice Flash smoker. They wanted your money, but they
didn't want your presence and they let it be known openly.
So it got to a point where you start feeling disrespected, a
novelty, a taboo, and it gets to where it's like, you know what,
fuck it, let's step out of that. Let's build our own brand.
Let's build our own house, but let's bring in quality brothers
with great presentation and mentoring and with tutelage
mentoring. Just a big powwow and we have
house splash smoker now. Yes, it did.
It took a lot of time, but we got them there and I'm trying
to. I don't want to go too much off
the rail, but it's been a journey and it's still going for
us as well. But also, I do apologize because
I'm also still sick, so my bad on that.
Too late now. Yeah, I already got it.
I already got it. Well, it's like a sinus thing
going on right now. But this is like really, really
special to me because it's been such a journey to get this
platform going to. Where is that?
Like Craig's media said prior, we start with one event.
We're doing 6 now and we stead of evolving and we stead of
growing and we want to keep guys going and we want to make sure
that we want to be couples with us as well.
So the benefits that we do need and we do we ask for is also
your voices because it's not is it's not going to take us, it's
going to take you as well. You come to the house and splash
smoke and you get a great experience with great people.
I want you to go out there and share those stories.
I want to let people know that we are getting above etiquette,
married character, everything, not just a typical BBC.
You know, it's probably label BBC is probably label a bull.
But besides know the size of my Dick, the way of leaning left or
right. You don't know my character as
well as my brother standing sit beside me as well.
That's the goal and agenda that we try to push.
As a span smoker you have aquatic brothers, quality
substance, quality presentation and the quality environment with
quality people. You have a quality outcome and
have a great time. Mean by the time you get home
and you talk about everything and your experiences, look at
the pictures, you have a great memories you will be back.
Those one of the benefits those those are our goals.
I love seeing the beautiful face.
I love seeing the smiles of you guys when you walk out.
I love seeing you proud of your wife taking 5 or 6 Dicks.
Hell, I hope you see take your mind that's another story but I
do I want you guys to see that this is what our this is our
goal. We want you guys come and see
that we are quality gentlemen in the lifestyle community and we
do have a place in this position of the community just can't be
started expressed doesn't mean it's going to end this by
smoker. We still are growing and
spending and we're going to continue to but we also want you
guys on this journey with us. We can't do it alone.
That's one of the biggest benefits that.
I see. I want to continue to see and I
hope that we have your support. I'm sorry, let's not get a new
one again, but that's more of a about to say something means me
to be in the back. But that's that's more important
to me as in my goal in my Jennifer Splash smoker is to see
that yes, this is our home and also want to be working to our
home as well. But I know that we ask that you
give us the respect that you do, you ask you demand from us.
That's all I have to say about it from there.
Let me let me ask you something because you brought up
something. Well either one of y'all do you
feel that for for new guys coming into the lifestyle like I
know people that are like splash mocha is not a place for you to
come if you are not if you are new in the.
Life that's not true. Oh.
I want that one. That's not no.
No, no, no, no. Let me get the question up.
Let me get the question up because I because I I completely
disagree with that. I disagree too.
I completely disagree. I love when I have a new guy
that was within the lifestyle community to make his very first
experience as Spanish because the barn sits so high for him
that he going to know his importance when he walked back
out those doors. Are he going to know where he's
staying within the community? Like I said, not just it's more
of just the conquest of fucking. It's what he's going to learn
who you're going to meet. The quality of people is so much
going to be up on that upon this roof, this building?
No, I totally disagree with that, but I think that a new guy
come here. I welcome any day.
Yeah, I, like I said, I completely disagree with that
statement also because the thing that I tell people who are new
is I think it's going to not ruin your lifestyle experience
because you're expecting when you go to another hotel, party
or whatever, you're expecting this.
And then once you get there and you realize it's here, you know,
you realize it's not the same experience because as, as we all
know, everybody, you come in here, everybody's friendly,
everybody's cordial. And and this is just a special
environment here. But I was going to ask as far as
the new, new men here, kind of what you asked about, do you
feel that coming to Splash Mocha as your first or second event,
does that help? Does that speed up your process?
Because as you said it, you know, it takes, it takes years
to be a season bull. As far as the lifestyle, do you
feel that coming to this event can help accelerate a person's
maturation? Yeah, I mention.
So. So the reason I mentioned on
this one is because it's not just the men, it's both the
couples as well. I always giggle when I hear
someone say the first thing I've ever done lifestyle is splash
mocha and I'm like woof. And I think that it's a high bar
and I think that the struggle comes in is what I'm trying to
explain to them is not, we always say it's the Super Bowl.
So you you went from not even playing the Little leagues to
just going right to the Super Bowl.
But it's more about the expectation of the difference.
You didn't have the build up to see that what you're now at is
so much better than anything else.
And if you live your entire life with nothing but sunny, shiny
days, you truly can't appreciate if you didn't have a rainy day.
And that's the part of it. So once they go from splash down
to what it and we're not trying to be disrespectful to any other
part. I've been in life so long
enough, I've enjoyed other different things and you'll have
different experiences, different places.
I hear wonderful things about HITO, wonderful things about all
sorts of different events that we won't necessarily mention.
But the level of care that we put into this to make sure that
the couple's expectation is being met and that the men's
expectation are being met and that we're valuing both
situations is not the standard at your local house party.
They don't have meetings with different people to set
expectations. And our bar is so high that it's
really something where I haven't met anyone who says that they've
been to anything that is at Splashes level right on par.
Everything's been below. So once you start at the top,
it's rough. I will tell you it just is a
food, quick food example. I can't eat chili and sea bass
anywhere. I had the best one in Mexico.
And every single time I try to eat chili and sea bass, I
literally want to throw it away. And I'm like, is this halibut
with no flavor? Like that's what everything
tastes like because I've had what I'm pretty sure is the best
in Cancun and it was amazing. And it's the exact same thing
that I think I experienced now that I've come here and I've
been to now 16 straight. I don't even play at home.
I don't even go to another party because every time I go to one
over the last three years, I'm like splashes in a month.
I can leave like in 30 minutes. I'm like that.
And it's because of the preparation of what we do to
make sure that it's for people here and the the experience that
we try to make sure that people have.
So that's the reason I was itching to say it.
I'll pass to the next person is itching to speak.
And real quick though, to the community that is built amongst
the men, right? The single man who come and who
attend. And again, your brainchild, your
idea, your old, your original group of guys.
That said, we need to mentor all of our friends and the
youngsters who are coming in who don't have a good influence in
their life or whatever. We can change their lives by
teaching them what we know and what we do.
OK, That's what we do. But that has to start someplace,
right? So it started with you guys.
Now the years have gone by as the father, OK figure if you
will. You look back now at like this
Mocha with all these new guys coming in and all of the
generations of gentlemen that you have brought, trained, they
have brought their people trained.
You know, that community starts here, which builds the couple's
community as we come in, right? Because there's this quality
that these guys have said we, we want to look out and make our
own people the best we can be. That makes the rest of us as the
couples coming and going, we want to be with that community
because we feel normal and they're good.
But then in the outside lives, as we traverse the, the
lifestyle as it is in whatever form or fashion it takes, these
guys are putting that same energy back out into what might
normally be a awkward house party that you're like, but
Andre's there and they're like that guy.
He was really cool. I would like to know him later,
right? So they're representing
themselves. They're taking what they learn
here and the experiences they have in dealing with us, the
couples and and all the interactions that they have in
the mocha environment carries that into the rest of their
lifestyle and enhances the rest of the lifestyle community.
So the little seeds that are planted all the way back in the
day, we're seeing these fruitful harvest in the crops as the
crowds continue to grow. I just realized that the Minx,
Mrs. Minx and I had not booked for our Atlanta party and
hanging on the elevator door says there's only 30 some rooms
left. And I'm like, oh God, she makes
me go get like told you off site hotel and by day passes because
she's not going to miss a mocha. But it's those little seeds out
there that make these things sell out so fast that you
literally got a plan a year ahead.
My vacation dollars I haven't even earned yet.
Wayne and Missy are ready to take them because they're like,
this one's booking up quick. You better get in like, Oh my
God. But again, this is the community
that starts with these little ideas and continually feeds all
the way across the and that's why we have payment plans.
So if you need. This guy.
Hey, what do we? Make.
Yeah, There you go. Like, look, make us feel old.
I'm probably not just at the table, so I will own.
That one, you know, we, we will. I'm going to get down the candy
liquor in a second because he is like a perfect, perfect example
of how I felt like new guys should behave stepping into it.
I'll get that in a second. But when we start thinking about
the community and what makes guys and couples a great fit at
this event is is different because I've always said that
couples, believe it or not, couples actually train guys.
Oh, and when I came up, I, I would play with with you guys
and then learn how you guys like something.
Then I would go and play with you guys and then like, oh shit,
I fucked that up. They don't like that.
And then I'll go and meet with them and play with them and
they're like, wait, shit they don't like.
And so you started learning to calibrate your, your male
experience within the lifestyle through meeting couples and you
started learning how to work. Because when I was coming up, I
really didn't have, I was, I mean, I was lone hunter.
I mean, I was by myself. I didn't really have a group of
guys around me. I also didn't have good
examples. I can remember going coming
through the lifestyle 20 some years ago and constantly hearing
those a single guy is a dime a dozen.
A single guy is a dime a dozen now.
Like if for the guys who've been to my house parties, the people
who've been to my house parties, they know every single person,
every guy who's there has a very long conversation on the phone
with me. Every couples that's there has a
very long conversation on the phone with me.
If there's a single female, she has a very long, there is no one
coming to my house by chance. No one's coming to our party by
chance. So that was one of the things I
liked about this when my wife and I decided to start working
with Splash Mocha is the way they vetted, you know, don't get
me wrong. I mean you get some people who
come in like, so there were two guys out of 150 that were those
two guys were assholes. I'm like, I'm so sorry that you
know, .2% was bad, you know, but you know that that's how the
world works. But you know, compared to other
places that you go, I like the concept of community because as
humans, we generally, unless we're, we have a brain
deficiency, most of us walk into an environment and see that, oh,
all of these people are walking in this direction.
All these people are doing it like this.
So the women can come into this environment and look around and
be nervous to see all the other ladies who are actually having
fun. The guys can come in and look at
these guys and go, man, that guy is really doing good with a
couple. That guy's really having a good
time. Maybe I should talk to that guy.
And then you start having these these things where people have
good examples. That's what happened when you
have a solid community where people can actually see, well,
that guy's successful and he's doing these things with guys
coming into it. My candy lifer down here, I
remember his first day to me the most, the most emotionally
intelligent thing. He walked in, He'd never been
here. And instead of going in and
making a fool of himself, he said, hey, can I pull you aside
and ask you some questions? And I'm going to move that down
to you and ask. So a single guy in a lifestyle
is a dime a dozen, but single guy is not.
Amen. You know and.
I wish that there was. And I would, and I wish that
there were so many other people in places that would understand
that. Like I'm not going to call out a
club or anything like that, but no, I'm not going to.
Call. I'm not going to call everybody
know I say what I'm thinking. So, I mean, they won't be
surprised, but you know, it's, it's.
Just and you see that in the pricing for single males, you
know, it's just one flat fee where it's like, I don't give a
fuck. You're a single male, you going
to get raped on your own price. And there's, there's better ways
to run a business and do things rather than to compare me to
that fucking asshole that's out there that is going to be doing
bad shit, you know, so a single. Guy is a dime.
A dozen they it's it's it's true, and one of my.
Debates and I challenge couples with all the time because.
If you listen to, if you talk to 100 couples, 100 couples to tell
you how many times they've met some weird creepy single dude.
And then when I start breaking it down, no, well, those are the
ones who usually fuck that they get in trouble with.
But the, the single guys and I say, what did he do that made
him creepy? Well, you know, I, I, he walked
up to me and you know, like he was, you know, he's touching my
arm and he had his Dick out in the club and I was like, OK,
what did he look like? Are.
You saying you can get away with that?
No, I'm saying. You can get away with it because
I, I've seen, I like literally like this is one of my favorite
experiments, like going to trapeze because we, we used to
host parties at the club. I will watch the ladies.
I know all of these ladies, they're all of our friends.
They've been to our house. They walk in the back and
they'll be like, Oh my God, those guys are so creepy.
And I look back there, OK, the guy is not attractive.
But then she goes back there and the guy looks like this dude,
you know, and I'm talking to you tall guy looks like that guy and
he's walking around with a towel on his Dick out.
And she's like, you know, I just wish he was more assertive.
Like what do you mean? Like how do you come over and
maybe rub his Dick on my arm or something like that out of being
good like, but you call the other guy creepy.
So you, he wasn't fuckable. So he was creepy, you know, so
as dudes, if we go back and we see a woman who we're not
attracted to and she's flirts with us, we don't be like, bro,
it's some creepy chicks. And we don't do that.
We're just honest and be like, yeah, I didn't want to fuck her,
you know? So that's why I start
challenging people. Like, what do you mean the guys
are creepy? And then you start breaking down
like you know a person who know a person who had a single dude
who was extremely disrespectful. What was extremely
disrespectful? Well, there was that time when
we were supposed to go out and he no call no showed me.
Now this would be the same couple who's got 4 kids.
I got 6, I get it. But they no call no show this
guy and then expect him to be cool with it.
And then he's just come back for doing it.
So when you started comparing. So that was always my thing with
single guys. Now, once you have a community,
they're prepared for it. So I bring that back to candy
liquor at the end. Why did you start asking
questions day one when you walk in?
So I've been in the lifestyle for about. 20 years and I lived
on the West Coast. On the West Coast is 2% black.
So I walk in a room, it's 100 white women, one black guy.
I'm cool. I'm like I'm in heaven.
But the problem was the problem was I I went through my.
Own personal trials and tribulations.
I didn't have anyone to talk to. I couldn't go, hey, man, what's
up? You know, how do I do this?
The other problem was you never knew if they were married or
not. So if they married, you got to
worry about the guy knocked on your door with a shotgun coming
after you. So I come to the West Coast,
East Coast. And now I'm so all of a sudden
I'm around all these black men. I'm like, OK, that's cool.
I'm going to be like, I'm love this.
But I'm like the lifestyle kind of sucks in South Carolina.
So I'm like, all right, so I hear about splash Mocha.
I'm like, all right, I'm gonna go to splash mocha.
So I know one name, Dimitri. I talked to him for 1/2 an hour.
That's it. That's all I got.
I'm like all right, it's cool, I'm going to be able to do this.
I walked into Splash Mocha and two words come to mind.
I was vulnerable and I had to be courageous, so I walked.
In. And I'm like, OK, you know what
I got to put on my big boy pants right now because I got to get,
I got to figure this out because I was going to leave, straight
up leave. I'm like, I'm too old.
I don't have the body type. I can't do it.
We're going to let him leave. So.
I'll never forget it. Look me square in my eyes.
He said you're a good looking guy and you're quality.
And I said, you know what? Maybe he's right, but I'm still
skeptical. I'm like, I'm ready to go.
I'm like, I don't know if I can do this or not.
By the end of the first day I was like, all right, I can do
this. People looked at me like I was a
person on the West. Coast.
Like I said, it's 2. Percent black.
So I was black. I was a black guy.
Oh yeah, I want to be with a black guy, but I don't want to
be with a black guy. I want to have sex with you, but
I don't want to like really hang out with you, get to know you
here. People treat you like you're a
person, like you're a human being.
Now I know and, and. So the next funny.
Story is, a couple of splashes later, he looks at me and he
comes to me and goes, who was that?
I'm like, what are you talking about?
He was like, you put on this totally different persona than
before, and it was, 'cause I was courageous.
I was vulnerable, but I was courageous.
I listened to what people had to say and I talked to every single
guy here. If you were a veteran, I talked
to you and I talked to Dimitri. I talked, I talked to other
guys. I talked to Dre.
I, I mean, there was a lot of guys I talked to and I realized
that, you know what, it's not about what you have to offer.
You don't have to have the biggest Dick.
You don't have to have this. You don't have that.
But I have a great tongue and I knew that.
And for a while, I will lead off.
With that, until I was told not to do that and and they were
absolutely right because I was diminishing who I was.
With one quality. And I have a lot of great
qualities, even though you may not see them all the time, I
know now they have a lot of great qualities to offer.
And so I know that anytime I have an issue, I can go to any
of these guys here, whether I got to call them, well, I got to
text them or whatever. And they're going to answer my
questions. And they're not going to judge
me. They're not going to criticize
me. They're not going to laugh at
me. They may laugh at me, but in a
loving way. And when I come here, as soon as
we walk through the door, we all know that we're here for one
purpose is to make sure that everyone else is happy.
And that's our goal. You know, I don't, I don't sleep
with a lot of women when I come here because that's not what I'm
here for. I'm here for the communication
part. Some women don't like that.
And, and I'm that's fine. I understand that because they
want to get right in and get going.
And that's great. I want to talk to you.
I want to get to know you. I want to find out about your
body. I want to know your husband.
I want to know what he likes, because the husband's going to
give me all the information I need to make you happy.
But yes, for Splash Mocha, if you come here, you have to let
everything go. You got to be courageous, you
got to be vulnerable, and you got to understand that you don't
know everything and you got to. Rely on your your.
Brother man, to be like hey you know what, I need your help and
referrals. That's the other.
Thing if I see someone. That I'm interested in.
I don't just go around and talk to them.
I do sometimes, but I'll ask the guy that's talking to her
beforehand like, hey, what is she like she cool, duh, duh.
And find out that information that way.
But Splash Smoke has taught me that, you know, being a man is a
lot more than being able to satisfy someone sexually is
being able to satisfy them mentally and emotionally.
Because even at Splash, we have our bad days.
You know, people pass away, kids get sick, our fellow brother man
gets sick. We got to be there for him and
understand that, you know what, they're having a bad day.
Like you said, whenever I came to splash, I was like, where Oh,
he's going to come this time and automatically I'm like, I'm in a
bad, I'm sad. I'm like going, man, it's not
going to be here. Dmitri is not going to be here.
Oh, man, what's going on with Dmitri?
Where's he at? You know, and everybody wants to
know where's everybody at? Because we're so used to seeing
everybody here. So it's it's great.
It's a, it's a family, not just community, it's family.
I pretty want y'all guys to really.
Understand that we really, truly mean that we we are.
We are family. We don't.
Take that word. Loosely, you know, or generic?
No, we, we really are a family. And we also see the same thing.
You guys are a mere extension of our family as well.
We are more than welcome to have you walked those doors at any
event you want, you would like to, and we're going to treat you
as such. We're going to let you know that
you're a family. I mean, we fuck, but we, we
family. But with the guys, everything
with the guys we are. But.
With the guys. Everything.
Yes, truly we are. We're with the guys, everybody
though, we, we really are family.
And like I tell the. Guys, all the time.
I'm too old to have friends, but I'm never too old to have a
brother. And I always tell these guys
they're my brother. I tell them I love from the
moment they walk in to the mold that we leave.
You know, you would not get a you would not leave my presence
from a hug and a handshake when we part ways because I'm looking
forward to seeing you again. And just like Kendall, Lucas
said, we always check up into each.
Other even myself. I have a lot of questions.
I don't know everything. The lifestyle community is
evolving. Sometimes it it get right past
me that I have to call to call my brothers to keep to kiss me
back up. I stay humble in that nature.
So all the guys are great. Thank you and the respect for
that as well. But these guys truly are my
brothers. They are and we we definitely
challenge each other. One of the reasons that I wanted
Candy Liquor to talk is because he represents a piece of of guys
that most people don't see. OK, he's speaking truth.
I remember he said to me one day, we're talking about
something. He's like, well, you don't get
rejected. The fuck?
That's an AI want a remember this everybody.
I don't get rejected. OK, when I come asking, so I'm
joking, I'm joking, but that the the beauty that was like, no, I
do get rejected. We all get rejected.
That's just and and I and I've told couples many times, like
you have couples come in and they're like, well, the guys
won't come and speak to me. Like I'm nervous too.
Like I am nervous too. Like there's, you know, I've
had, you know, a couple women like, well, I just thought you
didn't like me. And I'm like, well.
That you you that you think that I'm just.
Walking in like everybody wants my Dick.
No, no, it doesn't work like that.
Like I'm like, OK, I see this woman, I like her, she's
attractive, OK, I want to talk to her.
And then it's two of you. I mean, and you got a husband
now I got you, OK, Now I got there's two against me.
I got to figure out, you know, is he going to be comfortable me
talking his wife? OK, there's some couples where I
may be talking to her. We're talking to him and then
he's like, you know, I don't like that guy.
She might like me, but he don't like me.
So now I'm out. So, you know, it's sometimes,
you know, we're nervous too with him.
He's honest enough to put it out there.
And he's right. You know, he will get a laugh
sometime, but he'll get a laugh and a head shake because we're
going, yeah, that is true. I do feel like that too.
But you know, I've got to be super macho and masculine
because I don't want anybody know that I'm experiencing the
same thing. So like, that's one of the
things that I definitely love about that standpoint.
And you know, one of the things I would like to do is, you know,
at this point, open it up for the people, the couples out
there. Because like I said before,
there's two aspects of the development of the guys in our
community. You know, what we're talking
about right now is the secondary aspect.
The secondary aspect is learning from the guys next to you,
because I can tell him like, look, women do not like when you
know you, you know, lick their pussy.
All right, calm down. I know.
And if I go to your house and you want me to lick it, then
fuck with that guy said that's what she like, you know.
So the training is really from the couples in the conversation
with the husband, which is how we wind up having, you know,
couples who we are friends with, we talk to and we're close with
them. You know, if we vibe like that,
the the trust, the friendship there is.
I have couples who I trust my wife go out of town, hang out
with them and we have these lifelong friendship.
I mean, Mr. Minks came to my house and I had stabbed one of
his tires because I didn't want to leave, you know?
You know, we have our friendships that are that are
tight like that, you know. So from as I'm looking at the
couples in here, have you noticed or are you aware of how
strong your influence is on the development of the guys who you
interact with like couples? Do you know how strong your
influence is? They're new.
If you want. To speak, if you want to speak,
I'll come out. I'm coming.
Over. I'll bring it over.
Because I I say this, couples don't realize how powerful their
influence is, especially where I constantly say this.
The common misconception is you meet this great looking guy,
he's fit, he's 26. Oh, he's going to fuck my wife,
going to love it. And this guy is fucking 26.
He has no life experience. And you're like, these fucking
bulls are shitty. No, this is your turn.
It's your time to shine because you may be his first or second
experience. Because half the shit he says,
it's bullshit. And he's telling you, oh, yeah,
do this all the time. You don't let me fuck your wife.
Yeah, absolutely. I'm good at this.
He has no idea what he's talking about.
So when you start talking about or thinking about the influence,
here's my question to you guys. When you first interact with the
guy who you like, how do you wish your expectation for
communication? You hold that and you tell me,
what do you think? I think for me, communication.
Is so important. I think there's such a.
Misconception, I think with anything in the lifestyle that
because if you're in the lifestyle together, that's it
you're. Instantly that's it.
You're going to meet each other and then you're just going to go
and play. And that for me is not my
expectation in the slightest. I have to talk to people and if
I don't feel a connection just through verbally talking like
similar interests and things, I I will be out quite quickly.
And I've had it where people will come up to me and just be
like, oh, hi, what's your name? And I'll say it.
And then they're like, right, should we go play?
And I'm like, absolutely not, no, thank you.
I have, I, I can't just flick a switch and that's it.
I think it's important for us all to humanise each other
because I think so much of what we can do can become sort of
transactional and, and, and, and, and puts people in the way
where you're just another person in the line.
But if we can actually look at each other as people and, and
appreciate each other for our stories and our histories and
our journeys, I think you can get so much more out of it.
So when we talk to people who are new, that you know, and,
and, and, and, and you were right, Mr. when you were talking
about people coming up to us and, you know, they're worried
too. They want to make a good
impression on you and you want to make a good impression on
them. And you want to listen to them
and hear their story and see what they're into and see if
you're compatible. And sometimes you are compatible
and that's great. And some of us you're not, and
that's great too. And you've got to celebrate the
fact that, you know, maybe we're not for you, you know, but there
is someone here for you. That's I think the great thing
we found out. There's nothing.
And there's nothing wrong with being not for you, nothing wrong
with that at all. But I tell you that the hard
part about it, being a single male and coming to a party like
this, it's really hard to find out who wants what.
Like you just said, you like a little bit more of a connection,
but then there's other girls that come here and they're like,
I don't care. I just let I need 15 guys right
now to fuck me. Let's go up.
Let me see. You, you, you, you, you, you,
you. So there's a, there's a huge.
You know, it's, it's, it's hard as a single male to come in
this, even though we know what this party is like and
everything to, to, to navigate the waters and see what she
likes and what she likes. Well, in the UK, what's the
saying? Secret vixen?
You say we don't yuck. Oh, you don't yuck other
people's. Yums, you don't yuck other
people's yums and. If that's if they're in
something you're not into, that's OK.
I think if you can establish what you're into and what you're
looking for, Well, we were having a conversation only the
other day about labels and how some people really don't like
using labels and I think that on entry point.
Having a label. Is actually really helpful
because you straight away can start to think, OK, so if that's
their label, they're probably not into this, this and this.
So again, it's another conversation starter.
Yeah, I think it's. Yeah, I think they're good.
Yeah, I judge people. I judge.
People who don't like labels I I do.
I judge the shit. I don't listen if we don't I.
Listen and I judge. Because if you don't like
labels, what I'm going to do is you're going to be, you're going
to eat your, eat your, your dinner, and I'm going to put two
containers down with a white substance with a shaker on it.
And one's going to be sugar and one's going to be salt.
Have at it. There's no labels.
It's a starting point. It's a.
It's a starting. Point and everything has a
variation. This is an SUV.
Well, you're Humvee and my, you know, Nissan Rogue are both SU
VS but they don't do the same shit.
But we have a starting point and then we add the variables.
So I'm a huge fan of, yes, labels are important to me
personally. Oftentimes the fear of labels,
and I know this, people have judged me for saying this, but
I've judged you first. That's OK.
The fear of labels to me is an indication of, of, of emotional
weakness because I need a starting point.
Like I need to know like like your cook, this person is a
cuck. But cuck holding goes from the
mild to the extreme. Very extreme.
However. This is what you identify as.
You know, when we're talking about a couple who is a stag
vixen couple. That gives me a place now.
You were different in that because now I at least know
there is no aspect of humiliation that you enjoy.
OK, so those things are helpful to have that.
But then when we look at what you just said when we first got
into the lifestyle, my wife was like, hey, hey, I want to talk
to them, bring them in. I want to fuck them.
You're the only person I need to know.
So as a single guy, when I say that couples get to educate the
guys. So our task is to learn when we
come to you and start talking when I was asking you about the
knowing of the how much you educate when the guy walks up to
you and goes, hey, you wanna go fuck?
Do you go, oh, fuck that guy, he's out.
Or do you say what do you do there?
So when that's kind of. Happened to me.
I will often sort of say why don't we actually speak first?
Like I will tend to sort of say let's let's talk 1st and then
we'll see what happens and then talk first then fuck later.
Maybe, maybe, yeah. But I think.
And that's one. Thing I've been really, really
impressed with here is actually how respectful the guys have
been when you have said no, like there hasn't felt like there's
been any like, animosity. They're just like, OK, you have
a good night and then they'll go off.
So you haven't. That comes back to what you.
Guys said earlier about training and learning to be this
lifestyle and understanding that sometimes it's going to be a no
and that's OK. And to deal with that in a
respectful way. Of course you've got to say no
in a respectful way and move on. But yeah, understand to deal
with that and move on. And yeah, there's someone for
everyone, but not everyone is for you, right?
Yeah, That that sharp. Transition.
So this was interesting about guys like single guys who have
experience, you know, there's the sharp transition.
I come to you. I I've I'm in an environment
where like four of the ladies I talked to, they're OK, I want to
talk, I want to talk, I want to talk.
And then you meet the woman who doesn't want to talk.
She wants to your Dick and you're talking to her and it's
like you kind of see like she's trying to she's like trying to
stick in there with you. Like clearly this guy needs a
connection. And then the husband is a
gentleman. Be like, hey, hey, you know, she
really just wants to go upstairs.
You're like, oh, OK, switch with so so guys, as you know, the the
more. The the guys who are more
experienced, experienced or the guys who are more flexible
because you're going to have some guys just like couples
where my man 7 his thing is, look, I know what I want.
I'm not interested in doing this or that.
I'm interested in playing this way.
So if the couple wants to just rush into it, I may not want
that. You know, you have me where I'm
like, I'm cool with either 1 you know, So when I always speak
about the I'm going to run back here, then I'm coming back to
you. I want to.
I want to just say something. About labels real fast because
you, you have a label or preliminary label as we, we, you
know, we kind of said that doesn't mean that you're stuck
in that box. You know, so now, like you said,
you may be a couple, but that doesn't mean.
So now I have to explore and see what in that realm of cuckoldry
that you're in. So just because you are labeled
as this doesn't mean you have to stay in that box.
The label is a compass. You can be.
Something different you can. Figure out your journey
throughout the time and update people and then they'll treat
you as such. Yeah, because you're going to
switch and. A label is very much a compass.
If I'm like, Hey, I want you to go here and you're not willing.
Am I going North SE? Hey, hey, I'm not into labels.
I just need you to get to this. And you're not going to tell me
if it's North because it's really NE, but but it's North,
right? So that's when I say the labels
give us a starting direction. And then, you know, the life
lifestyle is a is a is a fingerprint.
The way you lifestyle and the way you lifestyle and the way
you lifestyle. It's as unique as a fingerprint.
But you know what, it's fucking fingerprint.
There's a label is we know everybody's fingerprint is
unique. However, we all have one.
So that gives me a direction to move in.
So that's kind of where where I'm saying when we're trying,
when we're educating the guys, the couples, you guys educate
us. Like when I got into the
lifestyle 23 years ago, I learned from couples, trial and
error. One couple after another,
figuring out what I'm doing wrong and them going, hey,
that's not cool. The husbands, husbands, help us.
Please help us because you know her and you're a dude.
You know what I'm thinking? You know what I'm thinking.
Help me, please. Like, don't be like, yeah, you
just figured this out. It's true.
Y'all jump in there. Yeah.
As a single male in the lifestyle, I came up in Las
Vegas so I would see couples from all over the place, all
over the country. And like you said earlier, it's
a spectrum for what people want all the way down from the, you
know, we just getting into it all the way up to the nitty
gritty. Let's just go to the room.
And one of the things that has helped me, I think what you were
trying to say earlier, is just being able to read, being able
to read people. You know, some things are really
obvious. I go to the bathroom.
I come back. There's a fresh beer.
OK, I'm making headway here. Or, you know, just this is a
little just reading, people reading how things are going.
And a lot of times, you know what I'm saying, If you if you
see if you see something, if you read something that's right.
And you can make that adjustment around the fly and you know
they're teaching you, but at the same time you're you're just
taking in what they're giving you, taking what the defense is
giving. You know he.
Played football. Yeah.
So so I'm going to challenge husbands.
Do I have a husband who I can who I can pick on?
Now I found the husband that I want to pick on.
I want to pick on him. And I'm going to tell you why I
want to pick on him because there's this thing that me, I
know Mr. Minks and I know, and my wife has chided me for where
we go to a place and the guy looks at me and they're like,
he's not approachable. So I'm not going to talk to his
woman. And he's like, I brought her
here. I want you to talk to her.
But then he like, he looks like he might be able to kill you.
So you're like, let me find somebody easier.
So I love when I see a guy like this, I'm like, Oh yes, it's not
just me. So he looks like a beautiful.
Lumberjack, if you guys, that's. That's that's the situation
like. I have no.
Idea how he plays and I'm looking and like, do I want to
find out like his wife is attractive and I like she's got
a nice smile, but he's over there like but that was me like
so that was me. So my question to you, can I can
I yes Sir. So my question to you, when
you're in this environment, and this is one of my excuse me 7,
one of my greatest debates with other guys and actually the last
podcast I got, I got into trouble for this because I said
it's the husband's responsibility, especially if
he's a scary looking dude with tattoos and a great beard.
By the way, you doing good there?
You doing good. So if you know that you're
intimidating because as a man, as men, we know when we look
intimidating, how do? You go about.
Making sure she has a good time at this type of event.
It's hard, she. Sometimes want to be pushed.
And sometimes she doesn't. Sometimes I'll make the
approach. It's it's I'm trying to figure
out guys at the same time, the so it's very situational.
Yeah, I have been told I'm scary more than once.
But I whistle, we're stag vixen and I run to the same thing
trying to get my own at parties and and people don't want to
approach me. I don't know.
How do I deal with it? I don't know, but you end up
making a lot of friends and you chat with these guys that we.
End up becoming. Friends with sometimes more than
I do and you're like let's plan a hunting trip next thing you
know I'm. Serious.
They they. He has, yeah.
I tend to fit in easy pretty much anywhere.
Once I guess you hit, stop being scared.
Of him you. Know why I'm going to tell you
this from man code. This is man language.
A man can be one or two things. When you're a scary looking
dude, you can make people feel safe or you can scare them.
It's only two different things. There's there's one or the
other. You know, one of my favorite
people, I always pick up Mr. Minks.
Mr. Minks is the most formidable, one of the most
formidable human beings I know. But he's always smiling, he's
always happy. So he makes people feel safe.
If he switched that if when he if he switches that he's a
completely different human. No one knows because he always
makes him feel safe. My first time here, Dimitri came
up to me was like, dude, you look like fucking security.
You're like literally that. That's it.
You know, Drake, big dude beard always pushing me around.
But you see him out there, he's got a big smile on his face.
And so like that to me is always interesting.
Like when I see the husbands, I'm like, what do you do?
Like what's your me? I just go and I talk to all of
the guys. I talk to every dude.
I become the mayor. And then they're like, now that
because it's going to happen now we're out hunting, we're
shooting together, We're doing all this stuff and my wife's the
same way. She's like, why are you friends
with all the guys I fuck? We're just cool.
But when I first meet him, they're like, hey, is he, am I
going to be good fucking you in the house with him upstairs?
What am I going to do? Hey, I'm biting you here.
Hey, I'm not going to bite your face off.
So a lot of these guys are awesome.
Going back to the whole conversation you're having about
honesty and the these are the conversations that you used to
have with the boys back in college about whose ass was the
best and what you wanted to do and what happened last Thursday
and it did not go well. What am I going to do next time?
Except now I can have it with adult friends about people I
care about. And yeah, you just don't get
that other places. So any other husband's willing
to jump in and say something? Because my other question is, I
mean coming Mister East Coast first, I want.
To say something. So one thing I've learned coming
to Splash is I intentionally pick out the brand new people
and the husbands that look unapproachable.
The reason why and and the reason why is because when you
approach those people, you know no other guy's going to approach
them. I know my qualities.
I'm going to make you feel comfortable.
I'm going to make you feel safe. But the other thing is, and not
my secret, but when that person decides that they do want to
play, what are you going to pick out me?
The first person that. Besides, great he was waiting.
That couple's going to look for the.
Person that made them feel comfortable, that made them feel
safe, that approached them with that respect.
Now, do all guys do that? No, I do that intentionally.
Like I said, I want you to feel, but I know that I'm going to
give you a great experience. Whether we have sex or not, I'm
going to give you a great experience.
I'm going to set that bar so high.
Yeah, when you go talk to that next guy, you're going to be
like, dude, where did you come from?
So use that to an advantage as a single guy because you know that
no other guy's going to do it, so take advantage of it.
So. So my question for couples who
are if you're shy, if you're quiet, if you don't speak a lot,
that's where I'm always like where me?
That's where often like the scary guy I'm comfortable with,
the scary dudes I'm with because yeah, I see them and I'm like,
OK, cool. There's a good chance because I
man code is man code. I can see a dude and I know I
can go up there and talk to him, laugh with him.
We can have a good time. The like the really shy people,
those are the ones that I have the hardest time with because
I'm like looking like, do they want to be here?
Do they not want to be here? So my question is this.
I know you're not shy but. Having a shy.
Wife All right, if a guy is interested in your wife and you
know that because she seems a little shy, you know that guys
are going to be nervous. Do you step up and talk to guys
or do you just kind of push her out there like what's your,
what's your thing? There's there's a little bit of
caveat. Too, Because they are still now.
I'm not sure about your journey from when we talked to was it,
was it in March? Yeah.
But it's usually the new, the newer couples are usually the
Shire ones. Yeah.
So I'm not, so that's why. Their journey from from then to
now as far as how much they've played and done different
things. But I we met some great friends.
Who helped us along the way. She was very excited.
She was very. Very.
We're very excited to come here so.
And coming back means? Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. So I'm.
Actually, the shy one, I'm more the introvert.
She's the social butterfly. And for this guy, he gave both
of us feedback that we really appreciated when we first met
him. But yeah, she does probably 99%
of the interaction with the single man and I just support
her with a smile. But I may look like I'm more,
I'm an extrovert, but I'm more the quiet one.
She's the one who just loves the connection and loves the
atmosphere of just meeting new people, couple single guys.
So she's the one who's the more talkative 1 I am, but I think
that the shot like I love people.
I am a people person. I will I will talk to anyone and
try to get to know them. When it comes to like believing
that they are interested in me. That's where I clam up because
I'm like they're just being kind.
Like that's my thing. And that's where I like kind of
like shut down a little bit on myself.
So going. Going.
Back to I mean. And this is kind of what I
wanted to ask too, though, going back to the community side of
things. So again, this is your second
Splash. You started out in March and I'm
not sure what you have done from March to now lifestyle wise, but
how has that community been different outside of Splash as
opposed to inside of Splash? So these guys were.
Were great. We were referred to them by a
Splash guy before we came to Splash and they kind of look.
Locally to us. So he's like, you should really
hook up with them and, and get to know them.
They can give you some great advice.
So we did that. They weren't at our splash in
Atlanta, but afterwards they checked in and we're like, how
did you like it? And would you like to come do
this with us? Which was amazing.
And I, we can't thank them enough for that experience.
So just making the connections is is starting to it's starting
to hit the connections. Like even reaching out to you on
Telegram. I'm like, he's going to think
I'm a weirdo even though he's the biggest weirdo.
He's Yeah, she. Knows, she knows.
You. Well, I'm glad you said that.
Yeah. Yes, yes.
I too am going to 2nd that in a. Good way so.
And one follow up, in terms of community, there's also the
community of husbands. So you know.
You know. My wife introduced me to another
podcast of similar husbands and you know, I think I don't know
if you had said it, but like there's always still like a self
doubt about like, why do I like this?
Like am I wired this way? And to meet other gentlemen who
who are wired that way was really helpful.
So this community, and I know she also has a community of
sisters that they chat and I think that's the part that I
really like about this lifestyle.
It's just a community around helping each other.
Absolutely. So I quickly want to go into the
Wired. Real and I know this is the
things about community and at the end of the day, the
community does make us feel better about how we are all
wired. I think The thing is, it's not
about how we are wired, is the fact that we're telling the
truth about the way we're wired, where more people are wired the
exact same way. Because if we do look at
history, we understand that 200 years ago the way people live
life and 200 years before that and two years before that was a
lot more honest because there weren't very many people around.
It was literally just their small community as far back as
you go as far back. As you can go now we're in a
situation. To where we are all
interconnected by something they call the Internet.
So now we're realizing that we're living in bigger tribes
and villages and States and whatever than ever before.
So instead they're the perception of how people should
live versus how they actually live.
And then it's always a shocker when you find out, Oh my God,
this senator's wife likes to get fucked by black guys.
And it's like, oh, we're so surprised, like.
And we? Even play it out in our normal
lives, right? Like it's that aspect of it, the
fact that we understand because we actually live it, but we're
just being honest about it and we get to be honest in this
community about it and feel as if we're not judged.
I'm a person who my mother knows that I do things like this
because I just don't care, right?
I'm using my real name. Andre is saying, I'm not going
to say my last name, but like at the end of the day, I don't have
a problem with who I actually AM.
And I understand that. I'm also in a position to feel
that way because of what I do for a living and who I am and
how I live my normal life. If I was in a different
situation, if I was staying in DC where I'm from, and I would
have done the government job, then maybe I wouldn't have been
in the position to be able to say what I feel and about life
and be able to give out these information of details.
We are. It's not that we're wired wrong.
It's we're wired to then be honest about how we feel and
then found people in our lives that will also be honest about
that and that we found a community that we can have those
experiences with. Yeah, I mean we and this.
Is we are wirely absolutely correctly, I think no me and Mr.
Minx we when we get into our nerd sessions and we start
talking about psychology and start looking at different
things human behavior, you start understand like even in the
concept of cuckolding. One of the things that entertain
me to to no end is the percentage of people who are non
lifestyle when they do like parent gene testing, they
usually use like what is it like Norwegian people?
Because throughout the rest of society, the amount of when men
who are raising somebody else's child who had no idea is huge.
Like I think it was like over 35% or something like that of
who never know. So the things that we openly
speak about and we openly do, like it's so natural that it's
it's mind boggling. So I think that's probably one
of my favorite things when we're talking to people and we start
having that because that's the biggest conversation I have with
husbands. Every Hut stag, big stag
husbands, cut husband, hot wife husbands.
And I'm very much a hybrid. Like, I love watching my wife
get fucked, no question. Like everybody knows.
I make no secret of it. My wife's getting fucked
downstairs. I got a vent under the kitchen
table. It's very inconvenient.
Very inconvenient. But I like to get down there and
listen to it. Or you just wait outside.
I'll stand. Outside the door.
Like my friends, like people who know that they're like, dude,
how are you you and like that don't bother you because I'm
fucking me and it don't bother me.
Like, I like it. Like it's, I'm not going to
psychoanalyze why the things that was done in the Bible like
this, the Bible speaks of this. I mean, the, the Roman Empire,
every, every piece of history that we can find speaks of this.
So it feels like, I mean, it's not like an anomaly.
We're just honest about it. So for me, I don't like when
I'll analyze why I like something.
Usually people will spend years in the lifestyle fighting their
desires. They will spend years within the
lifestyle fighting their desires.
And the good thing about community is you can talk to
him, he can talk to him, you can talk.
And then all of a sudden we realize, wait, we all do the
same shit. Like this is not weird.
Like I, I might, my wife is, was a school teacher and she thinks
like this. You know, you have people in law
enforcement, you have people in government.
There's literally people like that.
I know who are in the government.
Government, they're, they're very private about it, but
they're this is what they do. So I think community helps us
remove the poison in our head. In the concept of going to war
with yourself, do you realize how miserable you are when
you're forced to go to war with your own desires?
The world kicks my ass every day and I'm at home going.
Oh my God, why am I turned on when some dude is fucking my
wife? Man, I feel man, I'm a fucking
weirdo and I'm at home. I'm turned on like no conflict.
I mean, now my kids might give me conflict, my wife might give
me conflict, but I'm going to tell you one person that's not
going to give me conflict, Not this guy.
The only thing that I want to be able to do and I've done over
the years as I talked to other guys and other couples and women
and start listening to the things that they're into and all
of a sudden it's more enjoyable because I can sit back and bask.
Even the things that I'm not into.
I can bask in the fact that you like something I don't like and
I don't judge you for it. That's what the community does.
Again, it goes back to. Like what you were just saying,
it goes back to what you have always you're, you're, I mean,
the lifestyle community as big as what we think it is, it's
still very small in comparison to the world and even this
country. So you are always this always a
battle of what we'd like is going to be different from what
society sees and is telling us is wrong.
Because again, you've been taught from from from the time
you were able to walk that monogamy is the way.
This is what you should be doing.
This is everything is planned out for you.
So when you deviate from that again, it's like.
We feel that there may be. Something wrong with the way we
think and how the middle society.
The most commonly talked about thing is us when we were
younger, finding our dad's porn collection, you know, our
uncle's porn collection. Like it's the porn industry is a
bill. It's it's $1,000,000 documented,
documented, not the undocumented shit, like who's buying this
shit? Like just us.
No, you know, so that to me is the the thing that is the beauty
of us being able to enjoy what we enjoy the way we enjoy it.
And that's the thing like the community to me constantly
encourages us as a community to not get hung up on the why do I
like as opposed to let me find other like minded.
Let me encourage, you know, I like this environment.
My wife, his wife are very have always been very, very strong
advocates for giving women the freedom that we as men have.
You know, I remember in the very beginning when they first
started to use the defer the term slut sister and slut tribe
and things like that, it was them saying, hey, this is a
word. They use that word.
And the reason they did is because my wife's thing was if a
dude calls a dude a slut, what do we do?
We laugh. Yeah, it was a fist bump, dude.
Like, bro, you're a slut. We laugh, but if a woman gets
called a slut, there's a whole lot of Oh well, it's not what
you and. There's a lot to.
Defend him. My wife was like, fuck that, why
can't I have it? That's how that began with her.
The concept of why should I be ashamed of doing something that
you can do the crazy thing about it too.
Though is is. You we may applaud.
Another dude for his sex sexual exploitations and especially
before they got into the to the lifestyle but and she's labeled
as a slut or whore and it's negative but who the fuck are
they fucking who are? They doing those sexual exploits
with. You know, I mean, so, so we're,
we're celebrated because of our sexual conquest, but she's
demeaned because of hers. But again, who the fuck are?
Who are the guys having sex with and that?
Was that's one of my favorite things about it.
Cutie, before we wrap it up, is there any other couples who like
to speak? I see you guys are smiling back
there. You're welcome to speak.
I love the. International flavor too,
because we got, we got London here, we got Italy there, you
know, it's, it's a, it's a worldwide community, you know.
Sometimes I'd like to talk. One of these days I'd like to
talk about being the wife of. A bull that's.
That's a totally different kind of life in most wives that are
in the lifestyle that most wives that are here and very
interesting thing that you have to.
Navigate. Yeah, being a wife who is
married to a bull, Very nice, very nice.
You have to meet my wife because that's that's us.
I'd like to talk to her. That that.
Is us, I'd like. To talk to her, very.
Good topic, yeah. And that and so.
One of the big reasons that I did speak on community today is
like a lot of us, a lot of the guys have been having, we've had
a lot of conversation about the fact that after all the years
and the stuff that we've learned and the things that we've
experienced like my wife and I within our small community,
we're constantly talking to people.
We have people e-mail us, call us, talk to us.
The reason we originally started a podcast was to, to offer
assistance, but there's a lot of other people who have
experiences who can actually help when it comes to creating
quality guys. And my, my challenge has always
been when it comes to guys. I always say when you're
mentoring guys, a woman cannot mentor a guy by telling him how
to be a guy. However, female interaction is
everything. So me talking to you and a guy,
hearing our feedback, hearing our feedback, hearing the
feedback with women, them being able to watch the way the male
female interaction works is how we learn.
And then having guys who's gone through it, who's experienced
it. Because a lot of us as men, we
get, we become better men from our wives, our wives make us.
Because before there was my wife, it was, I was this guy
after my wife, my sisters. And everybody's like, man, she's
made you much better personally. What the fuck does that mean?
I know what it means. But she, she, she got rid of
those, some of those edges. She, she changed a lot of
perspectives that somebody else couldn't change.
So now the difference with us experienced men, Mr. Minx, who
you know, all of the guys who have these conversations and we
learn that we have to navigate the world differently with our
wives in the lifestyle. Your knowledge, your knowledge,
your knowledge is power. If you want to teach guys how to
navigate the lifestyle and be better, better men.
And then on the opposite side of that is the guys we train, the
couples we play with, we train the couples we play with by
being honest and saying, Hey, I know I'm a very direct human, so
I don't usually have an issue with it.
But I always say, oftentimes couples make bad bulls and bad
bulls mess up good couples, you know, because you have this
couple who will tell this guy, well, if you're going to be in
my life and our lives got to do this, this, this and this.
And then he goes other couples and they're like, dude, I've
been that guy. Like, bro, first of all, calm
down. You don't own my wife.
We don't play that game. You, you don't own my wife.
You can't get my wife commands or demands.
It doesn't work that way because he didn't come to me first and
see what the rules were as opposed to couples who are like,
Hey, this is what we want. And so that's where the
education when we're talking, if this is our title, but this is
our fingerprint, this is what we like.
And then me being able to have a conversation with you and this
guy going, oh, that's a hell of a perspective talking to you,
man, That's a hell of a perspective.
Women, the interact, interaction with women is with trained guys
and guys by talking trained guys.
And so going forward, that's one of the things that we want to
try to do is have more female interaction.
We've got a female therapist who's going to jump in and start
talking, you know, a very emotionally mature woman who's
in the lifestyle, who's active in the lifestyle.
We've got a psychiatrist who's in the lifestyle.
And my favorite thing about her was this.
You'd never know she was a psychiatrist if you saw her in
this environment. She's a dirty.
But. That is to me the pitted me a
female power within a lifestyle because you have a lot of the
ladies in the lifestyle who they're still stuck with this
social norms. I've got to prove you I'm smart.
I'm really smart. I've got a degree in this way.
Hey, if you have to throw that at me in a place where you're
trying to be fuckable, you're still fighting yourself because
dudes don't have to do that. Most of the guys who come in
here. You have no idea how much money
they make, what kind of career they have.
I'm talking to a guy out there who's a physician.
You would have never known because society doesn't make us
make you see our brain first. My wife, her joke is people
think I'm dumb as shit. My wife is very smart.
She does a job that's way smarter than mine.
But here she's like, I'm much, much rather.
People think I'm dumb then people guess what I do because
I'm trying so hard for them to see me as something different.
That doesn't mean that you want to be objectified because we
always want to be humanized. But society's forcing you to
prove that I'm not this. Well, this ain't the
environment, you know, I don't have to prove that I can play
hockey when I'm at the beach. I can ice skate.
Great talk to me in the winter time.
So that's kind of the things that one of the things that I'm
looking forward to more. And after we get out of here, I
would love anyone here, the ladies and the gentlemen, the
husbands, the bulls, the single guys who are willing to jump
into the podcast and interact and partake, you know, share
just a piece of your experiences, yourself, your
thoughts, because the collection of those thoughts, we'll start
creating a blueprint for guys from the female perspective.
Super important. And then husbands, when we get
on there and we talk about would I what who am I as a stag?
Who am I as a cook? Who am I as a for me, like I
said, I'm a hybrid. I'm kind of I'm a whatever.
Feels good type. Of person like I don't have a
it's, it feels right right now. That's who I am, you know, I
mean, and that to me is was my ultimate goal, not to be hung up
somewhere and not doing the thing, not because I didn't want
to do it, but because I'm like, man, Craig might judge me if he
finds out that I let my wife or Craig might judge me if he finds
out that I'd be listening to the floor under the table.
You know, once I got past that thing, I feel like to me, I I
stepped to a different level and my goal is to put everybody to
to give everybody a path to that comfort.
So before we close it out, I'm a pass it to the guys to tell them
where Mr. Minx for sure. Is he one of he he is.
He is my sound, one of my sounding boards.
When somebody says I've been a Dick, I call him because he'll
tell me if I was, if I'm trying to get some emotional, if I have
a question like my wife is like, hey, you're too hard about this
subject, I'll call him because my friends have no mercy on me
at all whatsoever because of how I am.
The guys who I deal with, there is no mercy, no time out.
They're going to be direct. And I've always said if I have
friends who aren't on my wife's side, they're not my fucking
friends. And if all of my wife's friends
are on her side, they're not her friends, you know?
So most of our friends, my guys would be like you being a bit of
a Dick and I'll go back to my wife.
Like apparently I'll be. I'm sorry.
You know, Mr. Mix. Yeah.
I. I'm on X Chris Minx 23 if you're
on that Instagram me everywhere you can find me Chris Minx 23
and your guest appearances frequently on O Face podcast.
I want another. Of these things.
You guys have fun. You you you'll be able to get
with him because when if you e-mail in and and have questions
for Andre, I'll I'll get him in touch.
He's going to be he does mentoring here accidentally.
I get pulled into. Everything he gets.
He gets pulled. Into things he has trouble
saying no. Yes.
Yes, you see, I just said yes, Yeah, see and he has no problem.
He has no problem stepping up and just kind of we have this
thing, we're do the right thing. Yep, You know, So that's why
he's off and in. And obviously Mister East Coast
here is on almost. Everything I am miss MISSDA East
Coast only fans is the only thing that's different.
That's I'm Craig McKinney. But hey, I just want to make a
little observation. Just want to make a little
observation, man. I, this dude I love, he's a good
dude. But we going to have to find a
way to get you some bigger T-shirts, man.
Absolutely not this motherfucker.
Look at this shit. Fucking Arnold.
Arnold Schwarzenegger walking around this joint with you.
Can't see my heart. I mean, you either got to.
Stop lifting or get some bigger shirts man.
If the sneeze don't threaten busting.
The stitch it is too loose and candy liquor.
I forget that I make sure I get the right name.
One of my favorite things is the questions that he asked and the,
the honesty, the emotional part, because he asked questions and
he asked me questions and, and I challenge him, but he asked me
questions and bring up things that makes me think, you know,
as dudes, we're you, we're taught to shove that shit down,
you know, you know, are you feeling some kind of emotionally
deal with it? The one thing I like about him
is he just kind of exposes it. He strips it.
You know, there is no, there's no question that he won't ask or
no emotional challenge that he won't present.
And a lot of those things are things that we as dudes don't
really say out loud because it's just not who we are.
We have this female conversation about old ladies.
You know, you got to learn to get rid of societal norms.
And then, you know, as soon as we wind up in a situation, you
know, we resort to being fucking Neanderthals because we're
supposed to be, oh, that's fine, just walking off.
No. So candy liquor, I'm going to
call you Co because I'm I'm going to call you COI feel so
dirty Every time I say candy liquor, he does it.
But I want to find candy though. You want my you want to find
candy. Look at that.
I give great tongue massages. I'm, I'm sorry, that's just my
my, my, my Forte. I'm on a splash mocha site and
I'm at every splash. I'm just a human being.
I'm vulnerable, I'm scared, I'm honest.
I'm open, I'm everything and I challenge all the guys out there
and all the couples. Be vulnerable.
You have nothing to lose. There's, I've been there
probably what, 18 splashes? There's probably thousands of
couples that I have not seen. Naked or I.
Shouldn't say I've seen them naked, I just haven't been in
them while they were naked, but they.
Still treat me like a. Human being, we still can have a
conversation, we still know each other and it's fun.
It's great. But yes, I am human and
vulnerable. And even if some of the couples
will tell you the same thing, I open up to them too.
I have No Fear. So enjoy and thanks for coming.
Thank you guys for joining us. And like I said, I'm definitely
going to, we're definitely going to be be talking and chatting.
I'm going to hopefully get the chat with everybody else who's
here, you know, because we, we love the different perspective
and we want to invite you guys to, to, you know, be a part of
us in the future. So until next time and come by
the dungeon. Yeah, swing by.
Come and see me in the dungeon. 10:00 He's good.
Take a peek. Go.
Experience it. You know, he'll flog your wife a
little bit. You know, he'll give her the
flogging that you've been willing to give her for years.
I'm joking. I'm joking.
All right, guys, thank you so much.
And until next time, we'll see you on the next episode, Old
Faces.