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Hello everyone and welcome to 
another episode of Old Faces 

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where your host Mr. Misses 
Mocha. 

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You didn't say and you just 
said. 

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I said like the letter N miss 
mocha and. 

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Misses Mocha. 
We always mess the first part 

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up. 
Usually I mess it up, so anytime

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she even almost kind of messes 
it up, I point that out to the 

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audience. 
It makes me nervous when we have

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like live audience. 
It makes me nervous. 

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He's at your, he's at your Mario
accident. 

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It makes me nervous, Daddy. 
It's been a long weekend 

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already. 
Why has it been long? 

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Long and hard. 
Big ones. 

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Big, long and. 
Hard, I got this list. 

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She's always taking things for a
ride, yes. 

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So yes, we're going to do a 
couple different things today. 

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We're going to do a little Q&A, 
so we already have one lined up.

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We'll also do a continuation of 
what we were talking about 

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yesterday do. 
You remember what we were 

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talking about yesterday? 
Because I've tried all day to 

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remember what we ended on, yes. 
Fortunately as. 

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Long as you got it. 
We have younger people here who 

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can remember well, I'm. 
Older than you. 

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Hey, just roll with it. 
Roll with it. 

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So what we'll do is we'll start 
off with the first question from

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our friend Ginger, the first 
question and comment from our 

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Jet friend. 
You're contagious. 

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You're contagious. 
Ginger fire roll, baby. 

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What you got? 
OK, so she says I have a God 

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fuck. 
We need to start over I guess. 

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And I'm the dyslexic one. 
OK, I'm the one that can't read.

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I have a topic that I'm curious 
about, maybe you've had a 

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podcast about it already, but 
who chooses a play partner for 

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the wife? 
I always choose my own play 

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partners, but I've been told 
that that's the exception and 

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the vast majority of couples 
have the husband choose. 

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Is that accurate? 
That's question one. 

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I mean, I can, I know that was 
question one. 

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I mean, I, I don't feel like it.
I feel like it's just based on 

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your dynamic, whatever you 
choose that you want. 

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Like when we first started, it 
was easier for Mr. Mocha to like

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at least vet the guys versus me 
having to talk to them and chat 

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a bunch and say like, take a 
shower before you come, you 

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know, because clearly that 
wasn't like a thing when we 

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first started lifestyling. 
But for us personally, our 

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dynamic, I got, I choose who I 
want to play with. 

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I mean, I and I talked to them 
usually, but in the beginning he

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was more involved in that. 
And now we've kind of evolved to

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he what he wasn't choosing what 
I liked anymore. 

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He thought he was. 
And then they would show up and 

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I'd be like, I don't think 
that's going to be what Mr. 

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Mocha's super friendly though. 
So he would get on the phone 

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with people and just like be 
talking. 

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He's like, Oh yeah, the dude's 
super cool, da da, da. 

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But I'd like kind of been 
messaging him. 

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And it was a little dry. 
And everyone knows that I'm 

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super sarcastic. 
If you can make me laugh and 

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you're you speak my language of 
sarcasm, then you're getting 

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some pussy. 
Like you could be on my 600 

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problem life. 
I'm giving you some pussy. 

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Like I don't have any qualms on 
anything, but I do choose my own

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people. 
But in the beginning he had a 

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bigger part in that, but for 
other just for other reasons, 

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for like safety reasons. 
And it was just, he's so direct.

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It was easier for us just him to
just say like, hey, no, this is 

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what we do. 
This is how we do it. 

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Like you can come over and meet 
her, but he was always there for

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the initial meetings. 
We've kind of even like shield 

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away from that a little more. 
I. 

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Mean we're so far and we're so 
far into the head, into the game

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now. 
In the beginning, Mrs. Mocha was

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very passive when it came to 
that. 

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Even though she seemed like a 
savage on a regular basis, you 

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know, she was always like, OK, I
this is the type that this is 

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the guy looks like that I want 
and I don't want to have to 

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figure it out. 
So in the beginning it was 

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easier for her when I picked the
guy up. 

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Now when you say pick, when I 
say pick the guy out, I will 

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look and I say, do you like this
guy? 

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And she look and go, yes, then I
contact the guy. 

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But I so really, I didn't choose
the guy. 

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She chose him because like I've 
said before, like I've, I've met

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husbands, like, you know, you 
know, my wife wants to fuck this

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guy, but I don't like him. 
You're not fucking him. 

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Why do you not like him? 
She likes him. 

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Like I never understood that, 
you know, and I've seen women do

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the same thing. 
Well, I don't want you to fuck 

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that Lady because I don't like 
her. 

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You're not fucking her. 
So for me, it was always like, 

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do you like this guy? 
Early on, she just wanted the 

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physical attraction and that was
it. 

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Now, later on, she started 
having conversations. 

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Like, in the beginning it was 
like I said, you know, you 

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should try to talk to the guys a
little bit. 

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I don't want to talk to them. 
I just want to fuck them, OK. 

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And then, like, all of a sudden,
this happened for years. 

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And then one day I picked the 
guy out. 

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OK Muscles. 
I mean, his profile was kind of 

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witty and the guy comes by and 
she's like, yeah, I didn't like 

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that guy. 
You know, some I want to, OK. 

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Then the second time another guy
comes over and usually like when

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the guys getting too chatty, I 
just come in and be like, hey, 

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you guys want to go downstairs. 
So they're on the sofa, they're 

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chatting because she usually 
would give me to look like. 

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Tell them to go downstairs. 
Like, like, like I like. 

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It's my job to do this. 
So I did my job that I've been 

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doing for 7-8 years and it was 
like, hey, why don't you guys go

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downstairs? 
She's like, Oh no, I want to 

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talk for a while. 
And I'm like, and then later on 

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after she plays with the guy, 
she's like, well, daddy, you 

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know, I like to talk to guys a 
little bit. 

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I want to get to know him a 
little bit. 

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I'm like, what? 
Like it wasn't like any warning.

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It was just this, this, this, 
and then a hard turn. 

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I'm like, what the OK. 
And then we switched it up. 

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And so once we got to that 
place, picking guys out for her 

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for me was very difficult 
because the physical piece and 

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she's always been, the one thing
I can say about her is like any 

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guy can take their shot. 
A lot of guys would go, oh, 

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well, she has this type. 
No, if you talk shit to her and 

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you're sarcastic and you're 
charming, she's going to be 

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aroused by you. 
You know, she is very sexually, 

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she's very cerebral when it 
comes to sex. 

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You know, even back in the day, 
she would wind up playing with a

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guy that I'd be like that guy, 
you fucking homo FUD. 

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And and it was just because he 
was funny. 

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And we don't. 
Judge. 

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Oh, I judge like a motherfucker.
It was just out of my norm so he

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was confused. 
We all. 

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Judge what was? 
Going on, but if you can, if you

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can stimulate, I like my brain 
like sexually that I'm good 

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because I do like to like talk 
shit once I like before I don't 

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want to sex you all day like I I
want I'm I'm never predictable, 

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let's put it that way. 
I'm not predictable. 

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I'm very unpredictable. 
Somebody asked me like, oh, like

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how are how do you play or how 
do you do this? 

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And I literally was like, you 
know what, I think I'm kind of a

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woman of mystery because I don't
know what I want from 

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day-to-day. 
Like if you say something, I'll 

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be like, Oh yeah, that made my 
pussy like real wet. 

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But somebody else could say the 
same thing and I may not like it

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because I didn't like the way 
their tone or something. 

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I'm weird. 
No, you're not weird, you're not

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weird. 
You are a woman. 

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No offense, ladies, I've seen 
I've seen I I've done something 

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and someone's done the exact 
same thing and the a free a 

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female friend like Oh my God, 
that guy was creepy and I'm like

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I do that all the time. 
So either a I'm creepy, which I 

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could be like, let's be honest, 
I could be creepy. 

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You know, right, I'm creepy. 
Oh, that hurt, that hurt. 

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I think it's the. 
Delivery like sometimes, 

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sometimes the delivery is just 
wrong or it's like the wrong 

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timing of the delivery. 
Like yesterday I played with 

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this guy and I've wanted to like
we played a little bit at New 

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Year's, but it was like a whole 
orgy thing. 

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So it was just a lot. 
And so we got into the room 

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yesterday and I wasn't expecting
it because he's like so nice and

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like just so like chill. 
But like, he started saying some

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real dirty shit off the rib. 
I was like, oh, this is about to

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be great. 
Not that I was expecting it to 

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be bad, but it was his delivery 
and he was. 

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I like the mystery. 
I like a little bit of mystery, 

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like you don't have to tell me 
all your dirty thoughts, but if 

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you give me just enough of that 
dirty thought, I'm going to base

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that on how we're going to play,
you know? 

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Because I'll only give you what 
you give me. 

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Like as far as that goes. 
If we're just fucking, and 

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that's OK too. 
But if you throw in a little 

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nastiness, I'll just give you a 
little sample, you guys, a 

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little sample of what he said. 
He was like, Oh, has your pussy 

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been used all day? 
And I was like, Oh, yes, it 

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fucking has. 
I like legs up in the air and 

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his Dick was like missile hard 
and I was like OK, so like I'm 

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also like submissive, but I to 
the the right energy. 

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I guess she's. 
She's sexually submissive to a 

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guy who is strong enough to make
her want to submit. 

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Like that's kind of that's the 
thing. 

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Yes, just. 
Go back, what was that for again

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so I can use? 
That I'll send notes. 

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I can send notes. 
Of my friends, you know what 

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did? 
He say again. 

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He asked me has not. 
He immediately stuck his Dick in

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and said, oh, so your pussy's 
been used all day. 

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And I was like, Oh yes, it 
fucking has. 

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I don't even know if it actually
had at that point. 

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We're going with what it is. 
I don't even know if anybody had

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used it at that point, but you 
sure can use it, Sir. 

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So I was curious. 
When you tell him how guys 

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mentally stimulated, I call it 
mine. 

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Fucking basically. 
Yeah. 

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So let's say a guy, and this is 
for all of them because I just 

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want to make sure I'm on the 
right track. 

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The guy in mine is good enough 
but you go to the bedroom and he

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may not be exactly what you 
thought he would be. 

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Does that make you sex bro 
better or when you play them 

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again or how do you? 
What is that other everybody 

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gets like a second and third 
chance because we all I feel I 

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say it and I've said it to him 
and I have 5 brothers. 

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I'll throw that out there and 
they've talked. 

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They told me a lot of things 
about men and their Dicks or 

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their younger and women aren't 
mechanical. 

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Men have to be mechanical at 
these events. 

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You got to get your Dick hard. 
You got to keep your Dick hard. 

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So and so wants this. 
So especially if we're here, if 

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you don't work great the first 
time, it could have been 

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something in the room you could 
have got. 

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00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,040
You could have just got done 
fucking even down to like guys 

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coming to my house, like I don't
expect I'm not going to give you

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my 100 game the first time 
because we just met. 

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I don't know what, what you 
like, what you don't like. 

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I don't know what unless we've 
kind of talked a lot. 

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Like, I don't know, I, I feel 
like the more you have sex with 

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somebody, the better you know 
what you're doing. 

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I mean, a little bit of talk is 
good, but I always give 

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everybody a second and third 
chance to answer the question. 

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Second and third chance, because
I don't feel like it's fair to 

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just say I may have been off 
that day or I may have been 

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tired by like the time the night
came, night time came around. 

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So I don't ever want to just say
just because you didn't say 

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exactly what I wanted you to say
that one time because I made 

221
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,520
like you as a person and just be
like, yeah, you know what? 

222
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,520
I want to do that. 
I want to try that again because

223
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,600
I feel like maybe he was just 
off or whatever. 

224
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,640
So shit, Mr. Mocha is not a 
machine. 

225
00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,080
I wish he fucking was. 
If you would sleep long enough, 

226
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,800
I'd give him a shot of Trimex 
every night, just sleep on his 

227
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,160
penis. 
But he won't let me. 

228
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,960
I no go ahead. 
Go ahead, dude. 

229
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:13,200
The, the, the crazy thing and 
the beauty of my relationship 

230
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,520
with my wife is we talk to each 
other like dudes. 

231
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:22,400
So over the years when I've had 
sexual malfunctions, we, we talk

232
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,240
to her together like we've been 
at parties and she's like, well,

233
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,840
why wouldn't you do working? 
I thought you liked her. 

234
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,600
I'm like, I thought I liked her 
too, you know, like we're 

235
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,400
talking about it and, you know, 
we're going back and forth and 

236
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,960
and she has a lot of I don't 
really get embarrassed around my

237
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:41,720
life. 
I don't I don't have that thing 

238
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,000
where I'm afraid to show 
weakness or vulnerability with 

239
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:45,880
her. 
It's my partner. 

240
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,720
This is well, my Dick don't 
work. 

241
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,680
Like we've been like, fuck, I 
don't know what's wrong with it.

242
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:50,520
She's like, I told you what I 
did. 

243
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,600
We're somewhere whispering at a 
party in the corner. 

244
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,400
She's like, are you OK? 
I don't. 

245
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,560
Know we'll get in the car and 
I'll be like daddy, what the 

246
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,240
fuck? 
That chick was hot as shit, like

247
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,080
what were you doing? 
And he's like, I don't know, it 

248
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,840
just wouldn't get up and. 
I'm like, or imagine us in a 

249
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,800
corner at a party and I just 
came out of room trying to play 

250
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,280
with somebody and I'm like, it's
not working. 

251
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,360
She's like, let me try. 
She gets, she gets down her 

252
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,880
knees start sucking. 
She's like it's working fine. 

253
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,040
I know it's working fine for 
you. 

254
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,680
You don't count. 
It's yours stop using yourself 

255
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,920
as the bar. 
You're not helping right now. 

256
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,000
Stop She's like well, let me get
it hard, then go back in. 

257
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,440
Well, it's going to it's going 
to fall when I get back in 

258
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,480
there. 
This is the problem is not you. 

259
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:28,960
I I don't need your help, and so
she come in like no, no, you 

260
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,320
know, so now I'm going to give 
her lame Dick. 

261
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,160
I got to keep looking at you for
it to get like some. 

262
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,760
People here I'll do that for. 
Well, I mean, but I say that to 

263
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,640
say this. 
This is why I think she's more 

264
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:44,760
understanding, you know, and me 
and B&B had the conversation 

265
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,920
about for me personally, just 
because of how my upbringing and

266
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:57,000
my my sexual history, I have had
years of having access to 

267
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,200
access. 
And now I realize that it's 

268
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,560
really it's sex is now 
completely psychological for me.

269
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,400
We had a time, I think when I 
was like might have been like 

270
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:13,920
4142 where we were talking about
erectile dysfunction, but it was

271
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,080
working for her. 
So you know, and which I'm like,

272
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,000
I don't give a shit if this is 
work. 

273
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,680
If you don't want to work for 
other people, you know, she's 

274
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,800
like, so she's like, long as it 
works for me, we're good. 

275
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,240
But so we knew it wasn't 
erectile dysfunction, but it was

276
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,440
me still trying to play with 
somebody who I found attractive,

277
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,400
but I didn't they weren't 
stimulating my body. 

278
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,720
So the good thing about her is 
her going through all of that 

279
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:40,600
shit with me has made her more 
understanding because there's I 

280
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,280
have ADI have ADD like a 
motherfucker. 

281
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,920
Like if the music is too loud 
when I'm playing, like I am the 

282
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,720
whole time thinking while I'm 
trying to fuck that music is too

283
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,240
loud. 
Like it never stops. 

284
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,960
If the TV's on and like 
something comes across that's 

285
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,640
interesting, I'm like, really? 
That's the thing. 

286
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,800
Fucking Animal Planet. 
And he's like, oh, a cheater 

287
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:08,160
runs 60 mph. 
OK, Daddy, focus. 60 I'm glad 

288
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,360
you got closer. 
Yeah. 

289
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,480
You want me to tell them about 
the cheetah? 

290
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,600
We talked about it before. 
Let's talk, say, our subject. 

291
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,800
I won't do it to you, Brian is 
trying to say. 

292
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,360
Something I was just going to 
say, Mocha, you have evolved. 

293
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,400
That's the conversation that we 
had when we were in our 20s. 

294
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,520
We were porn stars. 
In other words, when you come to

295
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:33,400
an event like Splash Mocha, you 
actually have to train for this.

296
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,920
Basically, you have to train for
this because it is it's scene 

297
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:44,360
after scene after scene after 
scene, you know, So when you get

298
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:51,560
to where we are now, 4647, you 
know, I'm no spring chicken 

299
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,480
anymore at, at, at No 58. 
I'm like, shit, I can't be 

300
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,720
running in and out of damn rooms
and coming back downstairs and 

301
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,160
going right back up. 
You know what I mean? 

302
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,160
I asked. 
So it's the evolution. 

303
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,480
It's the evolution. 
If you know, the thing with the 

304
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:11,320
EDA, lot of times it's not 
something's wrong with me. 

305
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:15,320
But here again, it's I need 
more, I need more stimulation. 

306
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,760
I need something different to 
get me going than just and yeah,

307
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,440
you're gorgeous, body's great, 
etcetera, etcetera. 

308
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:27,440
But maybe it's that's, that's, 
I've seen that look before, you 

309
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,120
know, So that's just not that's 
not going to get it. 

310
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,640
What else are you bringing to 
the table now so you know we've 

311
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,760
all gone through it? 
That's a good point because my 

312
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,920
partner and I, we actually start
travelling into different 

313
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,440
cities. 
You're having you basically, 

314
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,120
you're practicing conversations,
you're practicing approaches, 

315
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,520
you're practicing how to go from
conversation to play. 

316
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,480
Because as I had a conversation 
last night, some people are 

317
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,560
getting so involved in a 
conversation that they don't 

318
00:16:55,560 --> 00:17:00,160
know how to transition from 
general nice conversation to, 

319
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,440
OK, let's go to the room. 
And so you have to practice 

320
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,119
that. 
It is just you have a whole year

321
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,000
to get ready for this event, 
whichever way that you're coming

322
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,160
to. 
But yeah, it's definitely true. 

323
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,040
I want to say though, too, that 
I think it's easier. 

324
00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:19,960
I'm not speaking for all women, 
but I think it's easier for 

325
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,560
women to transition into that 
because if I say like a do you 

326
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,040
want to go to your room? 
Well, it depends on the 

327
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:28,200
submissive nature of the woman. 
Some women expect the man to 

328
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,360
take the lead and some people 
are just, it's just awkward to 

329
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:36,520
just go from one to the next. 
Yeah, yeah, unless you're in an 

330
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,840
elevator and someone tells you 
that you kidnap them. 

331
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,400
I'm like. 
It's something about the splash 

332
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,040
elevators that actually just. 
Get you? 

333
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,240
I'm telling it's like after one 
or two AM like I'm just trying 

334
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:51,000
to go to bed and here we are. 
How did we end up like this? 

335
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,360
I ended up with a chick on my 
back getting fucked while the 

336
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:58,440
guy was eating her pussy. 
She was I was donkey style. 

337
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,280
She was on top of my back and he
was eating her pussy and fucking

338
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:05,200
me and I was like OK. 
Yeah, she. 

339
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:10,920
Walks out of the room, man, 
baby, she walked out of the 

340
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,920
room. 
She walks out her her friend 

341
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,400
walks out of my room. 
She's like, oh, she's in there. 

342
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,760
She's in there fucking and she's
like, the guy just picked me up 

343
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,040
and he was fucking her and he 
ate my I was like, who the fuck 

344
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,520
is in there? 
Let me go see. 

345
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,280
I want to see what kind of this 
old was it? 

346
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,480
Circus Old Lane. 
What is it? 

347
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,920
The fuck is going on here? 
Open the door and go look. 

348
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,800
Oh, yeah, I know that guy. 
It was Dirty Jerry. 

349
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,920
Yeah, yeah, it was Dirty Jerry. 
And it's showing off. 

350
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,440
But. 
Yeah, of course. 

351
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:43,280
Yeah, Yeah, exactly. 
We already know So. 

352
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,800
So for me, I think, I think for 
me, like sexually, I've evolved 

353
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:52,600
to a place where I know that I 
have to feel a certain way. 

354
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,960
And I, I don't believe that 
chemistry takes some chemistry 

355
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,640
takes a second. 
Like the, there's a couple 

356
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,640
ladies in here who I've played 
with the first time I saw him. 

357
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,760
Boom, there's, there's two minds
here. 

358
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,960
There's this head where it's 
like, I see you and I find you 

359
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:13,200
physically attractive. 
And in my imagination, my brain 

360
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,720
is like, oh, I'd love to play 
with her. 

361
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:21,960
But then the other head, he's 
like, yeah, so you know, and and

362
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,280
I've learned to you, you have. 
I have to put them both 

363
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,480
together. 
Like I see a woman who turns me 

364
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,360
on. 
I get a tingle. 

365
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,320
I had a conversation with a lady
last night, You know, she asked 

366
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:37,400
me why haven't we played? 
And it wasn't it wasn't that 

367
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,080
she. 
Now here's the thing. 

368
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,160
I'm going to be honest with you 
guys. 

369
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,560
OK, Maybe. 
Don't. 

370
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,680
And, and no, no. 
And I would say and and this is 

371
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,000
what this, this is exactly what 
I'm better left unsaid based 

372
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,520
upon her reaction to the things 
that come out of my mouth. 

373
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,840
That's what I'm like if my wife 
was right here because she's 

374
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,040
going to find out. 
I have to be careful what I say 

375
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,480
or I'm going to have a three day
lecture. 

376
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,120
Your delivery is just bad. 
Since. 

377
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,000
Your delivery is bad. 
So we'll go ahead. 

378
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,960
So, so when she said that to me 
and I, I, it was, I've had, I've

379
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,640
heard it three times so far, 
this splash. 

380
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,360
But there's one lady in 
particular who's a very nice 

381
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,520
lady, but she's very aggressive,
very aggressive. 

382
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,600
And I don't want to hurt her 
feelings. 

383
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,160
And a lot of guys like to play 
with her. 

384
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,520
And I've heard great things 
about her. 

385
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,960
But I explained to her, I don't 
want to be in a situation where 

386
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,960
I'm having sex with you and I'm 
not performing for you because 

387
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,200
that's going to make it worse 
for you. 

388
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,160
Because it's not my job to make 
my Dick hard. 

389
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,720
Just like it's not your job to 
be aroused by a guy. 

390
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:48,720
So if I go in a room and I know 
that you can't get me hard, I'm 

391
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,040
going to be nice and go, you 
know, it's not, it's not you, 

392
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,120
it's me. 
I'm fucking lying. 

393
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,240
It's you. 
Because you're going to talk to 

394
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,480
three other people I've played 
with and they're going to know 

395
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:03,360
that like, Oh yeah, he had me 
upside down fucking me and like,

396
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,640
hurry, it didn't work. 
So why would I do that to you? 

397
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:10,360
Why would I put you in that 
situation where for you as a 

398
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,560
woman, you can fake it, he can 
spit on it, and you could throw 

399
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,520
more Lube on it, and you can 
pretend like you're having a 

400
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,000
great time. 
And I know because I've heard 

401
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,280
ladies go, Yeah, you know, I 
kind of feel bad about saying 

402
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,760
no, so I figured I'll let him do
it. 

403
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,040
She used to be that person. 
She used to be the person who 

404
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,040
would let it, who would fuck a 
guy just because she felt bad 

405
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,280
about saying no. 
And I'm like, wait, you didn't 

406
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,040
really want to fuck him? 
Yeah, I didn't want to be mean. 

407
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,920
What? 
Fuck that guy. 

408
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:36,960
Why are you fucking somebody you
want to fuck? 

409
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:40,120
So I had the conversation and I 
was thinking, what would Misses 

410
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,920
Mocha want me to say because 
it's going to get back to her. 

411
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,840
So I was as politically correct 
as I could possibly be. 

412
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,160
And I was very polite. 
And I just said, I don't want to

413
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,720
give you a bad experience. 
And she's like, yeah, but I 

414
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,240
would like to play with you, but
I don't want to give you a poor 

415
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,200
experience. 
And I'm old enough to know I've 

416
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:01,320
had the same Dick for 46 years. 
I know how he's going to 

417
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,440
respond. 
You know you want me to push 

418
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,320
rope for 30 minutes? 
Do you want to suck a limp 

419
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,520
noodle for 25 minutes? 
Pushing string. 

420
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,920
Pushing string baby, you know, 
so so after having that 

421
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,680
conversation, I had that 
conversation because I know me 

422
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,560
now and I know it turns me on 
what doesn't and it's not any 

423
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,840
more about she's not physically 
attracted to me because there 

424
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,160
are a lot of women who are 
physically attracted to me who I

425
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,160
don't feel that chemistry with 
so. 

426
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,320
As far as I think as far as was 
splashing pretty much anyone, I 

427
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,880
think there's this expectation 
that because I mean from both 

428
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,320
men and women, because you 
played before is you want to 

429
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,000
play at a future event. 
Like there's an automatic 

430
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,880
expectation that people just 
assume it could have been a 

431
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,480
great time, it could have been a
bad time. 

432
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:48,120
But I think what a lot of people
need to realize is that when I 

433
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,960
come to splash, I don't expect 
to play with anybody. 

434
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,240
I'm not expecting any kind of 
agency from you. 

435
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,440
You know, I'm not expecting to 
play with anybody in this room, 

436
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,160
right? 
Like I'm I'm not going to go 

437
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:02,560
with anybody, you know, my my 
girlfriend or Sarah in the 

438
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,200
corner. 
You know, I don't expect to play

439
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,120
with her. 
You know, she could I will you 

440
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,560
know, you know, she's my 
girlfriend. 

441
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,480
That something can be going on. 
You know, I'm not going to just 

442
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,160
put myself on a like that 
because she don't want to play. 

443
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,640
You know, I'm not going to. 
There's nothing I can say 

444
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,120
because, you know, it's your 
body, your choice. 

445
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:22,320
So I think at the end of the 
day, I think for everybody, we 

446
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:26,600
should all go in to this event 
without any expectations to 

447
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,920
play. 
If anybody and just because to 

448
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,120
me, it's, it's for for somebody 
to approach me. 

449
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,720
You want to play with me for me 
to approach somebody. 

450
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:39,400
I think it's, it's a like I, I, 
I feel gracious in that aspect. 

451
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,720
You'll give me an opportunity to
play with you. 

452
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,520
It's not an expectation. 
Oh, you know, just got to play 

453
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,160
with you. 
We need to play next time, 

454
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,000
right. 
I think that sets a bad 

455
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,920
precedence when people start 
behaving in that man. 

456
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,440
You told me we were going to 
play this time. 

457
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,920
I feel like you're full of shit.
Oh wow, I'm just kidding. 

458
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:00,480
See. 
See what I mean? 

459
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,640
See. 
What I mean bad precedent? 

460
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,240
She's expecting Dick, you know, 
right now. 

461
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:11,720
I agree though that you're I 
wouldn't say no expectation 

462
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,920
because I feel like at some 
point in time there will be 

463
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,200
somebody you will play with. 
I just tell people even when 

464
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,720
they like DM me like hey I want 
to play with you at the party 

465
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,680
blah blah blah. 
I tell them like I don't 

466
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:27,440
schedule anything because I I 
fucked myself like the second 

467
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,960
mocha. 
No, sorry the second Mocha 

468
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,120
because I would I overbooked and
under delivered and that bothers

469
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:38,880
me like I like to give you. 
She's a pleaser. 

470
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,760
Yeah, so I just tell people like
now, like I will if I have time,

471
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,080
but like I'll, you know, I'll 
message you if you're free. 

472
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,760
And it just happens at the right
time. 

473
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,640
Like sometimes I, there's some 
people I've waited like four or 

474
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,040
five years to play with, which 
I'm completely OK with. 

475
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:59,200
Like it because to me, if it for
me, if it happens organically, 

476
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:05,000
it's always better. 
So at versus like at 2:01 PM be 

477
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,080
in my room unless that's like we
talked about it 5 minutes ago 

478
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,360
because also my superpower is 
overthinking. 

479
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,560
So I'll sit there for yeah. 
Yeah. 5 minutes and get 

480
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,120
impatient. 
I can't even sit down. 

481
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,920
You think of all the reasons why
she can't, why this is not going

482
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,040
to work out. 
Where? 

483
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,080
Where's my pussy don't get wet 
enough? 

484
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,040
What if his Dick don't get hard?
And I'm sitting there listening 

485
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,600
to her like. 
I stopped talking aloud like 

486
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,000
I'm. 
Standing there and like. 

487
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,160
What the I'll talk to myself out
of an experience, which is 

488
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,520
insane. 
So I organically for me, that 

489
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,080
works. 
I'm not saying that should be 

490
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,680
like that with everyone because 
if you like if you're a 

491
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,680
scheduled person and that works,
good for you, then do that. 

492
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,600
It's just for me. 
I like for also too. 

493
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:53,840
Like Telegram is not a telegram 
any like apps that are for any 

494
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,760
of that stuff. 
You can't get like the real 

495
00:25:55,760 --> 00:26:00,680
person like you may be boring as
fuck online, no. 

496
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,960
I'm a terrible. 
Text messenger. 

497
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,320
But like so many women have told
me, like, oh, he's he has. 

498
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,400
Like he's egotistical. 
He's this. 

499
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,960
He's that. 
I'll text like yes. 

500
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:12,920
But I have to, yeah, but I have 
to tell them like, oh, you just 

501
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,600
got to catch him in person. 
I promise. 

502
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,920
Like it's it's better in person 
or like he said yesterday on the

503
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,200
phone. 
So but yeah, expectations for 

504
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,080
me. 
I don't I'm also the same. 

505
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,040
Like I don't have any coming in.
Do I want to? 

506
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:31,880
Absolutely. 
But I don't, you know, have to. 

507
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,080
I don't. 
If I don't, I might be a little 

508
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,680
sad. 
I'm going to be pouty and he's 

509
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,480
going to have to lay down some 
thick, but I'll be OK. 

510
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,840
You you expect. 
Oh yeah, yeah. 

511
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,800
Yeah, I was about to tell you. 
Hey, man, don't be messing up my

512
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,800
years of training when you talk 
about you. 

513
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,920
You might not have sex with your
girlfriend. 

514
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,280
Her body, her choice. 
This is my wife. 

515
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,680
I see this. 
Her body, my choice. 

516
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,480
I'm joking. 
I'm joking. 

517
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,400
Calm down everybody, I'm joking.
There's some accuracy to it, 

518
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,440
just a little. 
No, no. 

519
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,560
But you know, I think like I 
don't mind, like I don't mind 

520
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,120
the expectation. 
There's certain people I've 

521
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:12,480
known for a long time who we've 
talked, we have chemistry, we 

522
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,520
enjoy each other and we know 
that we are sexually interested.

523
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,720
I'm OK with those people because
they know we, we know that we 

524
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,640
like having sex and we want to 
have sex with each other. 

525
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,400
But it's also nice to know that 
it's not an expectation because 

526
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:34,080
I mentally, I can't show up the 
right way sexually because 

527
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,280
everyone has a different energy,
you know, And if my head's not 

528
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,800
in the right place for a person,
especially if I play with you, 

529
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,520
if I play with somebody, I know 
what energy I have to have for 

530
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,800
that person, you know, And I'm 
not going to take them bad 

531
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,880
energy. 
We'll have good, we'll have 

532
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,680
decent sex, but I'm not here for
decent sex. 

533
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:58,960
Anybody I play with, I want. 
And I know it's going to sound 

534
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:03,080
pervy, but it has to be good 
enough for me to be in the 

535
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,440
shower randomly thinking about 
it and want to give it a little 

536
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,840
tug because it was so good. 
I feel so offended. 

537
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,880
You should. 
You should or I want to get hard

538
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,200
thinking about what we did and 
then go and take it out of my 

539
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:16,560
wife. 
I will. 

540
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:20,160
Not allow that. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

541
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,800
She'll tell me every dirty thing
she did as soon as I stick my 

542
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,320
Dick in a row Monday. 
But, but that. 

543
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,480
But that to me is I want a 
sexual experience that's going 

544
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,720
to go past that moment. 
Otherwise at this point my life 

545
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,680
was what's the point, you know? 
So I'm good with that. 

546
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:39,600
Like people who I play with 
expecting the opportunity, not 

547
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,480
we got to do it, you know, 
because that happens too. 

548
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:48,200
Or last night I met a well to 
Thursday I met a random guy he's

549
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,880
talked to me like 3 times and 
last night he was like dude when

550
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,680
are you going to fuck my wife? 
Like bro like now I'm thinking 

551
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,520
if I say what I want to say, 
somehow she's going to pop up 

552
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,720
right here and hear what I'm 
saying. 

553
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,400
But like #1 like, why would you 
assume I'm going to fuck your 

554
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,920
wife? 
And if I was going to fuck her 5

555
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,520
minutes ago when you come to me 
like that, I'm definitely not 

556
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,840
fucking her now. 
Yeah. 

557
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,720
And then I saw him this morning 
like upstairs and he walked past

558
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,840
me like I had, you know, kicked 
his dog or something. 

559
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:19,960
I don't even know this guy. 
I. 

560
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:25,880
Think a lot of us what y'all was
saying is that as men we have to

561
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:27,800
grow. 
So initially the guys that have 

562
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,680
been doing this for a while that
come to the event, initially 

563
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,520
it's like a kidney cancer. 
You want to be with everybody, 

564
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:37,800
but as you grow and develop, you
realize that transactional sex 

565
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,760
just doesn't do it for you. 
For me, I needed some type of 

566
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,360
connection. 
And like you were saying, 

567
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,280
there's certain women that come 
to certain events when I see 

568
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:45,720
them. 
And I know that whenever I see 

569
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,480
them, they see me as an 
individual who talk, You know, 

570
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,520
some great time when you 
communicate and when we go to 

571
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:53,520
the bedroom, it's going to be 
great. 

572
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,000
But as far as like other women, 
when you just see them and talk 

573
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,760
in 5 minutes, I'm in my mind, 
I'm thinking here we go have 

574
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,640
sex. 
And it may be great to you, but 

575
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,560
for me it's like, OK, I did it. 
I'm not, let's not into it. 

576
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,600
So when I come to it now, I 
mean, I could play with two 

577
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,880
women, I could be happy, I could
be. 

578
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,280
Or when I'm be happy, but I 
don't have to be like some of 

579
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,040
these, the newer guys that come 
here, I want to put their Dick 

580
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,160
in every woman they see because 
they think, oh, I'm black, 

581
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,960
they're here, I'm here. 
They want. 

582
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,760
And so online, 'cause they get 
their heads like, oh, now you 

583
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,920
got an ego thinking of, you 
know, Big Dick Willy. 

584
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,480
And then he gets shot down. 
They're like, oh, what the 

585
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,080
Hell's wrong with her? 
It's like, dude, you're just, 

586
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,320
you're not for everybody. 
But they haven't grown enough to

587
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:35,920
understand that it takes time to
develop what you need to be able

588
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,760
to attract that one that you 
want. 

589
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,800
But I think in the beginning 
too, like you were saying, we're

590
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,360
talking about like the evolution
of lifestyle. 

591
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,800
In the beginning, it's just the 
excitement of doing something 

592
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,320
you're not this is this that 
you're not supposed to do. 

593
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,720
So I think a lot of people come 
into it and either say I'm going

594
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,960
to fuck a million people and I 
don't care if I have a 

595
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,600
connection because I'm with this
person. 

596
00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,080
And then or they come into it 
where they they need a 

597
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,560
connection because I have seen 
like both ends of the spectrum, 

598
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:07,040
like you need that. 
And in the beginning you are not

599
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,880
getting a connection out of me 
ever. 

600
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:12,560
I'm just like bring the Dick or 
don't do anything. 

601
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,400
And it was only because I was 
scared of the word like 

602
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,840
chemistry and connection because
I wanted that with him. 

603
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,040
So it's get the word just scared
me. 

604
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,040
I almost was like when he says 
boyfriend, I hate when he says 

605
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,800
boyfriend. 
It was just the word for me. 

606
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,560
So for me I'm like, Oh well, I'm
not emotionally connected to 

607
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:31,960
him. 
Like I love this dude. 

608
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,960
So in order to cut that off and 
control myself, I would just 

609
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,840
fuck outside of a connection. 
Like come on, bring some Dick. 

610
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,600
If it gets hard, that's cool. 
So that was actually me like 

611
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,880
beginning of lifestyle and now 
if it happens organically, I'm 

612
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,600
good and I am better about 
talking to people that I'm 

613
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:53,720
actually sleeping with now. 
Like before I was not doing that

614
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,240
at all. 
Like I would be like, hey Daddy,

615
00:31:55,240 --> 00:32:00,360
can you text like so and so to 
come over today so. 

616
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,520
You fucked the guy 13 times, why
do I have to text him? 

617
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,080
OK, but OK. 
Sure. 

618
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,200
I mean, we bet we've evolved 
from that. 

619
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:11,840
And it's because like I think 
eventually you, we call it level

620
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,920
up. 
You want to level up from where 

621
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,520
you are, you get bored like, oh,
I just keep fucking this person 

622
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,880
and doing that and doing this 
like you level up like before we

623
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:24,240
used to do like a lot of hotel 
events with just couples. 

624
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,080
We it was hard for us to find 
like a four way connection and 

625
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,640
not just because I like, I just 
like black men. 

626
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,920
I like all men. 
So it was just couples are a lot

627
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:41,480
harder at regular swinger events
because you have to talk to them

628
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,720
for like 3 or 4 hours and then 
you get to like an awkward point

629
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,600
where you're like, are we going 
to go play? 

630
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,440
Are we not going to go play? 
Like, should we ask because the 

631
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,280
lady's acting weird or the 
husband's acting weird, like 

632
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,360
whatever the case may be. 
So, you know, we went from that 

633
00:32:56,360 --> 00:33:02,160
to then we found Mocha. 
No, we actually started, yeah, 

634
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,040
we started having select house 
parties that were just 

635
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,600
interracial house parties. 
But we, you know, we had couples

636
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,600
that came too and that turned 
into like, this is so much 

637
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,280
easier because it wasn't the 
actual swinger hotel parties. 

638
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,560
It was the people we were 
inviting. 

639
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,080
We're all down to fuck. 
We all knew that we were going 

640
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,280
to talk. 
We were going to have a good 

641
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,120
time. 
But they were all we knew. 

642
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,720
Everybody was coming to have 
sex. 

643
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,400
And that's what we wanted. 
It wasn't an obligation, but it 

644
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,880
made things easier. 
That took less of the awkward, 

645
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,680
you know, like conversation out.
And then we came to here and, 

646
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,200
you know, like I said, the first
few events, like you said, like 

647
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,760
I just was fucking everybody. 
I'm like, fuck yeah. 

648
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,000
How many guys am I in fact, 30 
this time? 

649
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:51,520
Like, yeah, I probably did that.
And now I just kind of like, do 

650
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,120
I want to play? 
Yes, but I like quality over 

651
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,400
quantity now. 
Also, my pussy's not the same 

652
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,760
anymore either. 
She's she's. 

653
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,360
So going back to something you 
said, one of the things about me

654
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,920
is I'm a right for you, wrong 
for you kind of a person. 

655
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,199
You can be wrong, but at that 
moment for you, you're right 

656
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,080
because that's where your vibe 
is. 

657
00:34:11,639 --> 00:34:16,080
Sometimes you can like in your 
first events, it's super easy to

658
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:17,280
catch a vibe because you just as
happy. 

659
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,880
You're excited to be there, 
you're happy to be in the room, 

660
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,000
you're happy to be in the 
environment. 

661
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,800
You have to be chosen. 
You have to be selective. 

662
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,080
I come from a point where like 
single men were like hand 

663
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:31,400
picked, but over time when you 
learn your vibe, not her vibe or

664
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,639
the couple's vibe, but like what
you need and you center yourself

665
00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:38,199
around what you need first, then
it becomes more difficult to 

666
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:40,719
match up with people. 
But it also becomes easier to 

667
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:46,199
select people when you match up.
So don't get like in your head 

668
00:34:46,199 --> 00:34:50,800
about sports fucking versus 
chemistry because it's actually 

669
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,920
all chemistry. 
So even if you have a 5 minute 

670
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,679
conversation, it's chemistry. 
You have a five day 

671
00:34:55,679 --> 00:34:58,360
conversation, it's chemistry. 
It's all chemistry. 

672
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,520
But you have to put your 
chemistry at the forefront or 

673
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,840
you're going to run yourself out
of lifestyle. 

674
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:12,120
See that different little clap? 
He's back there. 

675
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,680
Fucking Oh well, we did it at 
the same time. 

676
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,000
We did it at the same time. 
If you're going to make obscene 

677
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,320
gestures, I'm going to call you 
out. 

678
00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:25,600
Now I got I got this back good. 
So on OK, so we got through all 

679
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,600
of that. 
So the we got to go back to the 

680
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:32,480
original question though, who 
chooses the play partner for the

681
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,720
wife? 
Like I think the answer to that 

682
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,360
more or less is whatever you 
choose is whatever your dynamic 

683
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,280
is, you know, like, I don't 
think there's one way to do 

684
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:44,920
lifestyle. 
I don't think there's one way 

685
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,880
you have to do it. 
It's whatever works for you in 

686
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,760
general, if you know, because in
the beginning it worked better 

687
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,160
because he made me feel safe. 
I didn't have to worry about 

688
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,880
safety at any point in time. 
And now I don't worry about 

689
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,400
safety, but we're still doing 
the same thing. 

690
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,040
I just do it myself. 
But going back to her actual 

691
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,480
question, because she says she 
choose her own play partner and 

692
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,440
within the lifestyle community, 
that's something that's people 

693
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,800
say is strange. 
Fact of the matter is it is 

694
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,680
strange. 
It is different because you're 

695
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:16,720
here. 
So we are in a group that's a 

696
00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:20,720
little more progressive within 
the lifestyle community. 

697
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:27,800
But the fact is, usually if you 
look at the lifestyle as a 

698
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:34,040
whole, you have more people who 
are new and inexperienced, or 

699
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,320
you have the people who say 
they've been the lifestyle for 

700
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,120
15 years, they've had three 
experiences, 5 experiences. 

701
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,800
They really have experiences. 
And usually there's a lot more 

702
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,800
insecurities and jealousies 
involved. 

703
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:49,040
So, you know, just like it's the
husband, he's looking at the guy

704
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,000
and he's trying to select for 
her. 

705
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,560
So you have the husband who is 
either jealous, he wants to make

706
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,800
sure she's fucking beneath him, 
or you have the husband who's 

707
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:01,040
more excited about it than she 
is and he's picking out the guy 

708
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,640
who he thinks he's hot for her 
because that's the guy he wants 

709
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,720
to see. 
So oftentimes, oftentimes in the

710
00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:16,080
lifestyle as a whole, the the 
spouse usually chooses now guys 

711
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:21,440
in here or anywhere else, we 
know it takes a long time before

712
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:27,720
most of us can actually choose 
who we want to play with. 

713
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:32,000
Because every dude who played 
within lifestyle has had that 

714
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:36,320
moment where he, he sees some 
woman that's super hot and he 

715
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,800
knows he better not look at her 
because his wife's going to have

716
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,560
a fucking moment. 
So he may not tell her he wants 

717
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,560
to fuck her because he's smart. 
And so he's going to go fuck who

718
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,640
he knows she's going to be OK 
with. 

719
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:53,760
So once you start leveling up, 
you become a small majority or 

720
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,800
small percentage of the 
lifestyle community where the 

721
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,960
male or the female can choose 
who they find attractive and 

722
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:01,160
choose who they want to play 
with. 

723
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:05,920
Because usually you are managing
your partner's insecurities or 

724
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,960
you're managing your partner's 
desires. 

725
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,120
Choosing the partners not as 
important to us as who can veto 

726
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:16,520
partners. 
So we all both have veto rights.

727
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,640
Like she can choose but I can 
say no. 

728
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,160
I can choose and she says no. 
To me it's more important that 

729
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:27,200
you're gay with people saying 
your spouse saying no as it is 

730
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,760
in picking. 
For you come down here because I

731
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,600
I want you to talk to the mic 
because that's a huge point like

732
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,640
that is major. 
He was saying that I got 

733
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,920
baseball. 
Hey man, how's it? 

734
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,320
No, hey. 
You not on the team, you not in 

735
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,120
the league, nobody gives a shit 
about your baseball game. 

736
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,560
Don't mess me up here. 
I hope you're betting and you 

737
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:51,920
lose. 
Right there. 

738
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,080
Yeah, I'll be on blast. 
Paul a leg. 

739
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:59,520
So, so, so say that because that
right there to me is a, a huge 

740
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,800
conversation that we well, that 
I've debated people about. 

741
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,880
So for us, I choose she has a 
freedom to choose play with 

742
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,000
whoever she wants to. 
But we both also have the 

743
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,320
freedom to say Nope, not him, or
Nope, not her. 

744
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,560
It doesn't matter. 
So to us who chooses who's who 

745
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:22,720
plays with who isn't as 
important as who's can say no, I

746
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,320
don't feel comfortable. 
You play with them or you know, 

747
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,280
and there's no questions asked 
is when it's no, it's no, it's 

748
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,360
not. 
There's no questions. 

749
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:36,120
Now see, I'm very different on 
that because I'm not fucking 

750
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:41,880
like she's a big girl because 
I've seen people veto based upon

751
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,160
insecurities. 
But that's not that's there's no

752
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,080
insecurities. 
It might be it might be a vibe. 

753
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,160
I get it might be something that
you know about that person and 

754
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,720
maybe she doesn't know about 
that person that you know, I'm 

755
00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:54,440
not. 
There's stuff that we probably 

756
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,360
know about people because we've 
communicated with them that 

757
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,000
maybe your wife doesn't know. 
And I'm not getting into that 

758
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:04,480
with every person I run across 
be like, Oh no, not him because 

759
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,320
of the no, it's just not him. 
I'm not insecure. 

760
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,320
I don't I mean whatever. 
I mean, you're not you don't you

761
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,920
wouldn't be as secure if if 
since I'm bigger than you like 

762
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:16,960
I'm stronger. 
And so I mean that wouldn't 

763
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:21,360
bother you. 
I mean, it's not that, you know,

764
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,800
So it's not about. 
Insecurities, you know. 

765
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,480
Because I'm, because I'm more 
ripped than you. 

766
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,040
I mean that don't let it bother 
you. 

767
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:34,880
I mean, don't let it bother you.
But you know, it's just more 

768
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,080
about who can say no, because 
that's what's really important. 

769
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:43,040
Well, I think in regards to 
that, I mean, I think what 

770
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,320
every, if people choose to come 
into a lifestyle, especially as 

771
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:47,920
a couple, whether you're 
married, boyfriend or 

772
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,280
girlfriend, I think it's very 
important to have that 

773
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:54,400
conversation upfront about what 
it is that you want to get out 

774
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,760
of the lifestyle. 
Because the earlier you have the

775
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,960
conversation, the easier it is 
to navigate those issues when 

776
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:06,200
they arise, right. 
And like I said, the, the light,

777
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,800
you're always going to evolve as
a person, as a couple, 

778
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,960
throughout the lifestyle. 
There can be things that are OK 

779
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:16,480
now, they're not OK later, but 
as long as yeah, and vice versa.

780
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:20,560
So as long as you establish 
communication upfront, OK, 

781
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,720
where's everyone got the 
lifestyle? 

782
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,640
What are our boundaries? 
Do we have veto power? 

783
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:29,880
OK, what are the just if you lay
everything down, the more your 

784
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:33,360
stuff you lay down now at 
beginning, the easier is to 

785
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,880
navigate. 
And when stuff feels icky or 

786
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:42,480
wrong or doesn't feel right, all
parties involved should be able 

787
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,240
to sit down and have a 
conversation and see, OK, is 

788
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:49,720
this something that we can? 
Is this something that will that

789
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,120
we can get past or just 
something that we just have to 

790
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:57,360
just deny and just dismiss and 
then go go another Ave. 

791
00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:01,480
But I think the the most 
important thing to to get out is

792
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,880
is the more communication you 
have upfront, the better it is. 

793
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,160
Oh yeah. 
It's all about communication, 

794
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:09,920
but it's all about. 
Yeah, but communication is still

795
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,120
one of the hardest things to do,
right. 

796
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,160
I mean, with of course, 
everything involves 

797
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:18,160
communication, but I mean a lot,
you know, you myself, we all 

798
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:19,240
struggle with communication 
there. 

799
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:22,520
I think that's it's the most 
important, but it's also one of 

800
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,240
the most difficult things to 
have I. 

801
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:28,960
Mean we, our communication and 
our whole marriage was bad until

802
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:32,280
we got in the lifestyle. 
And it's really, it changed our 

803
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,560
communication for the better. 
I mean, we communicate about 

804
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:39,120
everything in life better now 
because of the lifestyle because

805
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,520
it's forced us to communicate. 
Because if you don't 

806
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,080
communicate, you're not going to
be successful. 

807
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,280
And the next part you come to, 
there's going to be 1 of you 

808
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:53,520
here and one of you not. 
I could say like, I agree with 

809
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,600
what you're saying, but Mr. 
Mocha doesn't really like to 

810
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,760
hear no, he hasn't really heard 
that a lot in his life. 

811
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:05,720
So in order to avoid argument, I
don't want to say avoid an 

812
00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:07,040
argument. 
We don't really argue. 

813
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:12,280
It was just more to he had 
someone he wanted to play with. 

814
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:17,240
I had an issue with it. 
I told him how I felt about it. 

815
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:20,960
He knew how I felt about it. 
But then he kind of stopped 

816
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,720
playing with that person for a 
little bit. 

817
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:25,240
And then it like came back up in
conversation later. 

818
00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:28,560
And I, it had been long enough 
that I was just like, you know 

819
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:29,680
what? 
I trust that you're going to 

820
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,600
make the right decision. 
I trust that you're going to go 

821
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:36,000
over there and have a good time.
But it was that I didn't trust 

822
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,600
the person, which is rare for 
me. 

823
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,560
I didn't trust the person. 
But I realized like I got to 

824
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,800
trust him that he's a big ass 
dude who's going to fucking rape

825
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:45,480
him. 
No one. 

826
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,440
You know, it's not about safety 
at that point. 

827
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:52,800
It's more, it's just more, it 
was me not trusting her. 

828
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,720
But then I felt bad because I'm 
like, well, I trust him enough 

829
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,400
not to do. 
But just because he's big, I 

830
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:01,440
mean, he's tough, but. 
Correct. 

831
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:07,040
But it's a, it's a yes. 
It's a yes 99.9% of the time. 

832
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,480
And it the, the point 1% of the 
time that it's a no, it's 

833
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,520
because I'm protecting her from 
something she doesn't even know 

834
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,040
about. 
So it's for no other reason. 

835
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,600
It's no other reason than that. 
It's because I know something 

836
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,760
about the person that you don't 
know. 

837
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,040
And there's no use us talking. 
I mean, it's just a no when she 

838
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,960
knows that almost every time 
it's a yes. 

839
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:33,560
So the very small chance that 
it's a no, that there's a good 

840
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,400
reason that it's a no. 
Go find another Dick. 

841
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:40,640
So so for me, I am very much, 
I'm a huge communicator and I'm 

842
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:45,280
and throughout our relationship 
she used to get mad because she 

843
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:53,520
said I would over communicate. 
For your emotional state and 

844
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:57,320
comfort. 
My job is for you to be 

845
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:01,800
predictable to you. 
My wife, my kids, my friends, 

846
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,800
everybody can usually predict 
what I'm going to do in any 

847
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,680
given situation. 
A man should never be 

848
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,480
unpredictable to those who are 
around them. 

849
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,560
A man who's unpredictable to 
those who are right who's around

850
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:17,360
him is has female tendencies. 
Our job is to be consistent, 

851
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,200
period. 
I always say a simple man is 

852
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:25,480
what a man is supposed to be. 
The beauty of a woman is the 

853
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:30,760
complication. 
It's my job to learn you, to 

854
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,080
interact with you, to engage 
with you and find what makes you

855
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:35,880
different and special from 
everything else. 

856
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,640
My wife and my kids should never
be trying to figure out what the

857
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,920
fuck is dad thinking because 
that is the big strong thing in 

858
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,760
the house, and the big strong 
thing in the house that controls

859
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,560
the energy of the house should 
be predictable. 

860
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:55,400
That being said, for me, I 
always told her what I was 

861
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,360
doing, why I thought this way 
within the lifestyle, telling me

862
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,720
I can't do a thing or play with 
a person. 

863
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,160
I'm cool with it if you can tell
me why. 

864
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,640
If any of that why has to do 
with insecurity or the lack of 

865
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,000
trust. 
For me, now I have a problem 

866
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:14,000
because I've never vetoed anyone
she wanted to play with. 

867
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:20,920
If it was somebody who I thought
there was a safety issue, OK, 

868
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:25,800
you can't go there, but he can 
come here and now safety issue 

869
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:27,680
solved. 
What is he going to do when I'm 

870
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,440
here? 
So you're good. 

871
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:35,800
So for me, it was very I'm I'm a
very tell me why. 

872
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:40,880
Now, if you tell me she did this
thing in particular that upset 

873
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,120
me on the level outside of 
jealousy, insecurity or lack of 

874
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,520
trust. 
Cool. 

875
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,520
But that was also her growth, 
and when she finally stepped 

876
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:57,720
past that level where it's like,
well, I'm hers, the thought that

877
00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:00,000
a woman can take me from her to 
me was an insult. 

878
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,680
But what was what was what like 
even made me get to that was 

879
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,120
like nothing that you said to 
me. 

880
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,680
It was because I was talking to 
someone else and I was talking 

881
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,280
to her about it and she was 
like, well, why wouldn't you? 

882
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,840
You guys do everything else was 
her exact response. 

883
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,120
And I was like, damn, I think I 
pulled my shoulder out of place.

884
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,520
Hold on. 
I did it last night. 

885
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:25,360
I told you that old age sneeze. 
And I had someone ask me that. 

886
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,120
And I had to like sit back and 
think about it. 

887
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:28,920
Like, damn, why don't, why don't
I? 

888
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,480
Why don't I just trust him to go
over there? 

889
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,960
Because it's not. 
He's never, he doesn't lie to 

890
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,920
me. 
He doesn't do anything crazy and

891
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:37,920
he's never give me a reason to 
say no. 

892
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,160
And he's again, never said, he 
doesn't really ever say no to 

893
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,040
me. 
So what? 

894
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,760
Why am I giving him stipulations
on things that I would he's not 

895
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,680
doing for me? 
So I just tell him like I told 

896
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,680
him I was like, I trust that 
you're going to do what you say 

897
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,680
you're going to do and I'm just 
not going to worry about it. 

898
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,480
Was it a struggle when he went 
over there the first time? 

899
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:59,800
Abso fucking lutely. 
I had to do some stuff. 

900
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:04,280
I didn't put arsenic in his 
dream, but I definitely had to 

901
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:07,720
like do some things like while 
he was not there because I was 

902
00:48:07,720 --> 00:48:11,320
still in my head. 
But I also like to push my own 

903
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,320
boundaries too and and go 
outside of my comfort zone 

904
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:18,600
because I feel like that's the 
only way for me to be successful

905
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,000
in the lifestyle is because 
you're not always going to be 

906
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,480
comfortable. 
That's like Adrian was saying, 

907
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:27,000
like this is not a comfort zone.
Like communication is not 

908
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,600
comfortable all the time. 
The hard conversations are just,

909
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,520
you need to have those more than
the easy conversations because 

910
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,560
the hard conversations put 
things into perspective. 

911
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:41,200
So I had to sit back and 
evaluate myself and say, well, 

912
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,200
why the fuck don't I trust them?
You know? 

913
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,320
And it wasn't that I didn't 
trust him, I just didn't like 

914
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,480
her and wanted to make us think 
about it. 

915
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,480
So. 
And I had absolute trust in my 

916
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,040
wife. 
So it was always, I've always 

917
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:56,560
felt like I, I don't, I trust 
her, period. 

918
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,960
I, I've never, I don't say no 
because I trust her. 

919
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:05,080
So for me, it was very difficult
for me to, to, to not really 

920
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,840
that concept didn't work for me.
Like, wait, I trust you with 

921
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,720
everything. 
If you want to play with a guy, 

922
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,040
you can play with him. 
Like there's nothing that he's 

923
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:18,240
going to do to change our love, 
to change how I feel about you, 

924
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,520
nothing. 
So when she would have those 

925
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:24,640
things with me, I'm like, what 
have I done? 

926
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:29,560
Yeah, I'm, I'm majorly offended.
Like what the fuck have I done? 

927
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,720
Not to get the trust, You know, 
I brought you into this. 

928
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:35,680
I you know, so for me, it was 
very difficult for me. 

929
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:39,480
And even to this day, that's so 
So the concept of me not liking 

930
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:44,000
no, no, I don't like no, but I 
have to know why you say no. 

931
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:47,320
I have to understand why. 
If it's if it's not jealous he 

932
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:51,200
does not like a trust thing, 
then we can cool because I don't

933
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,240
care. 
But if it's because you don't 

934
00:49:53,240 --> 00:49:57,200
trust me, what woman's going to 
come in here and take me from 

935
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,800
you? 
Like hell, I'd like to meet a 

936
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,600
woman who can do that. 
That's some divine pussy. 

937
00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:06,560
She'll have to be extra crazy. 
Yeah, it's. 

938
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:12,760
A. 
Lot of but oh. 

939
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,960
Go ahead. 
Yeah, I wanted to ask you a 

940
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:19,800
question, Missus Mocha. 
So, you know, we go through that

941
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,880
same thing right now in my 
dynamic, she's there's a lot of 

942
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:27,520
women that she's feels 
uncomfortable with it 90% of the

943
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,880
time. 
It's yes, is the nose that get 

944
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,360
me because there's the one I was
like, oh, I can't wait to get 

945
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:36,640
that one, you know, But can you 
let Pierre like let us get into 

946
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,040
that head of yours? 
What are the things that are 

947
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,840
going on that you're saying to 
yourself? 

948
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,640
That's like, I don't, I don't 
want him to fuck with that dude.

949
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,720
In the beginning, it's just. 
It's sorry, that girl. 

950
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:52,600
My bad. 
Sorry, Mr. Mocha. 

951
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:54,920
I thought. 
I thought you let everybody else

952
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:56,160
know bad about that part of your
life. 

953
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:04,000
My bad. 
We, we, we bring out secrets and

954
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:08,440
splash, that's what. 
I would say in the beginning 

955
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,400
it's just more or like that's 
your Terry territory we call it.

956
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:15,000
I told you earlier, pissing on 
your leg that is yours. 

957
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:20,680
And there's no logic behind it. 
Like women are logical, but 

958
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:23,840
we're also super. 
I'm super emotional and I know 

959
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,920
that and there are things that I
can't explain that I've done or 

960
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,600
why I was even upset. 
He's one time I walk in the 

961
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,640
kitchen and yelled at him about 
absolutely nothing, then started

962
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:34,560
crying. 
And he's like, next time can you

963
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,040
just come in the kitchen and 
cry? 

964
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,040
Like I'll just hug you and we'll
have some ice cream, but can you

965
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,640
just cry? 
But I didn't, so nothing, I 

966
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,520
can't say anything is there's no
logical answer for that. 

967
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,560
There it was. 
It's an emotion. 

968
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,160
You don't know what to do the 
with that emotion. 

969
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:52,280
And you if you've never had that
feeling before, you don't know 

970
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:54,080
how to fix it. 
But what's the emotion? 

971
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:58,560
Is it threatening or what is it 
like Mark is like you are in my 

972
00:51:58,560 --> 00:51:59,960
space now. 
Like what? 

973
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,720
There was somebody in here 
yesterday that said, oh, he's 

974
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,560
here. 
I don't remember his name. 

975
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:07,760
I'm pointing you at you. 
He was in it. 

976
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:08,560
Yes. 
You. 

977
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:13,520
Yeah. 
He said that he was like 

978
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:15,320
jealous, but his Dick was so 
hard. 

979
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:16,920
Not jealous, but he said that he
what? 

980
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,480
He didn't understand that 
emotion. 

981
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,640
Like he was excited about her 
playing, but his Dick was so 

982
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,840
hard. 
So that's not logical. 

983
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:25,960
Why? 
You're upset. 

984
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:28,000
Kind of. 
But your Dicks hard or my 

985
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000
pussy's wet. 
Like you don't understand. 

986
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,440
It's not something you 
understand. 

987
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,720
It's just something you decide. 
Like, OK, I'm going to work 

988
00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:37,120
through this. 
In the beginning, I absolutely 

989
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,400
didn't want him to fuck anybody 
else, but it still made my pussy

990
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,600
wet. 
But I didn't like the emotion 

991
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,280
that it gave me in the 
beginning. 

992
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,840
So you can't, there's not 
something that it can explain it

993
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,800
because your wife, she still 
wants to fuck you because she 

994
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,760
wants to reclaim her Dick. 
I still want to fuck him. 

995
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,800
I just don't want to reclaim his
Dick usually. 

996
00:52:55,800 --> 00:53:02,480
So I was joking, but I mean, if 
you that that's the only way I 

997
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,920
can explain it. 
There's no logical, like 

998
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:08,680
philosophical answer behind that
because I can't even, I don't 

999
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,160
even know about my own emotions 
sometimes. 

1000
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:14,400
So I can't say This is why it 
happens. 

1001
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,440
It's just something like that 
you can talk through and work 

1002
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,640
through. 
And I guarantee you five years 

1003
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:23,320
from now we'll be having this 
conversation and it'll be, Oh 

1004
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:25,600
yeah, we just did that. 
And I did this and I went and 

1005
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,360
did that because again, I didn't
want to tell him no. 

1006
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:33,800
I did not want to tell him no. 
I'm also very submissive. 

1007
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,960
So it was, it was more like I 
like to make sure he was pleased

1008
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,720
even if the emotion wasn't 
great. 

1009
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,600
But again, I like my boundaries 
being pushed in several 

1010
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,240
different ways, so I'm good with
it. 

1011
00:53:43,240 --> 00:53:45,600
You know, if that is even a good
answer. 

1012
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:51,400
We are we are in a monogamous 
marriage before like we always 

1013
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,240
lifestyle we. 
We've always been lifestyle 

1014
00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:55,520
together. 
Yeah, always. 

1015
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:58,720
We are monogamous before you all
got married. 

1016
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:01,920
No. 
How can you spell that word? 

1017
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,480
I mean I in my last marriage, 
yes. 

1018
00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:10,760
And then I met him. 
I'm I'm curious and some more 

1019
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:14,280
people might, might agree that I
guess because of the monogamist 

1020
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:18,520
conditioning a lot of people 
went through when they went into

1021
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:23,640
this lifestyle, those 
monogamous, that monogamous 

1022
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:26,080
mindset. 
It's, it's kind of like a battle

1023
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:29,880
between, OK, I was conditioned 
to be with one person for the 

1024
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:33,920
rest of my life, but now I have 
I'm seeing my wife and my 

1025
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,400
girlfriend getting fucked or I'm
fucking somebody with full 

1026
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,720
swapping and your mom, one part 
of your mom's like, what the 

1027
00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:41,960
fuck are you doing? 
Because this is not what you've 

1028
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:45,040
been doing for the last 1525, 
however many years been 

1029
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:48,880
monogamous. 
So I think it's just, I guess 

1030
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,920
what I'm trying to say at the 
end is that, you know, being in 

1031
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:58,920
a lifestyle, it causes you to 
not only what was I looking for,

1032
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:02,720
you'll learn more, more about 
you as a couple, but also you 

1033
00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:04,360
found a lot about yourself as 
well. 

1034
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:13,040
So I think in the end, to me, 
you know, the lifestyle helped 

1035
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:17,240
is as far as you know that 1 + 1
= 3 or what not, whatever they 

1036
00:55:17,240 --> 00:55:19,040
say, right? 
Like you're not only 

1037
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,200
establishing a stronger 
connection with each other, but 

1038
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,400
yourself as well. 
And in the end it just causes 

1039
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,680
you to be even stronger and 
bonded. 

1040
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:29,200
More than one of my viewpoint. 
It's, I think it's because 

1041
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:33,920
everybody in this room, whether 
they're honest or not, the 

1042
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:37,200
people who raised us were either
monogamous or lied about being 

1043
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,520
monogamous. 
And so when they went out, 

1044
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,960
explored their individual sexual
desires, they didn't share it 

1045
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,880
openly with their partners. 
So when we get into the 

1046
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:50,520
lifestyle, it's almost like we 
have to like we're reborn. 

1047
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,480
We have to learn how to talk 
again, walk again, interact 

1048
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:58,320
again, learn that things that we
say here is OK and give 

1049
00:55:58,320 --> 00:55:59,640
ourselves permission to say 
those things. 

1050
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:03,400
Because if not, then we lie like
everybody else in the world 

1051
00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:05,320
because they'll say they're 
monogamous. 

1052
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,960
But then how many people cheat? 
How many people go to strip 

1053
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:10,280
clubs and don't tell their 
wives? 

1054
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:12,520
How many wives have work 
husbands and don't tell their 

1055
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,280
husbands? 
It's like we don't have that. 

1056
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:21,120
And so for people that's not 
like Mr. Mocha, Who had to learn

1057
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,320
how to communicate and have to 
learn how to be honest, he came 

1058
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,720
in, he understood himself when 
he met his wife. 

1059
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:31,200
Myself, I'm in a relationship 
where every situation, she 

1060
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,360
communicates openly and I have 
to catch up with it. 

1061
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:39,080
So every situation I'm like, OK,
I don't have to tell her after I

1062
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:40,600
play. 
I can tell her on my way to 

1063
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,200
playing, oh, I can tell about 
the conversation while I'm 

1064
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,200
having it. 
I can tell her that I friended 

1065
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,280
somebody on SCC and all of those
things. 

1066
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:49,360
Even though I've been in a 
lifestyle for 20 years. 

1067
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:54,920
I was in it 17 years single. 
Now the last three years, it's 

1068
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:59,760
like, OK, this is OK, this is. 
And so you relearn. 

1069
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:01,560
You have to give yourself 
permission to relearn or else 

1070
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:05,200
you become just like everybody 
else outside this hotel who got 

1071
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,240
a work husband, got a work wife,
got a side piece that don't tell

1072
00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:11,720
anybody. 
And you have to understand when 

1073
00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:14,040
people create veto powers, you 
have to understand what you 

1074
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:19,360
contribute to her need to veto 
because she may veto because of 

1075
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,280
an energy that you're giving to 
that person that you're not 

1076
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:26,440
giving to her or you're giving 
to that person that creates an 

1077
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,840
expectation that she's not 
comfortable with or you're not 

1078
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,840
comfortable with. 
But you just do it because the 

1079
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:35,600
people who raised us did it, and
we're just emulating them 

1080
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:39,240
instead of breaking that chain. 
I mean also too, I think the, 

1081
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:43,960
the reason I transitioned into 
it so easily was because of him.

1082
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:48,840
And the way he explained it was 
like, this is just fantasy. 

1083
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,800
This is you're fulfilling 
fantasies that used to be inside

1084
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,760
your head. 
Now you're just able to do it 

1085
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:56,000
aloud. 
So you can still keep that 

1086
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,080
private, but now there's a whole
community that supports you and 

1087
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,320
that stuff. 
So, and, and again with him, he 

1088
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,880
was like, he communicated very, 
very well. 

1089
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,560
And in the beginning, I'll just 
be honest, I was a fucking liar 

1090
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:13,000
because I was scared to tell him
stuff like I stupid stuff like, 

1091
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,560
Oh, I can't tell him that I 
called this guy that or whatever

1092
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,960
it was because he's going to be 
upset because it's a mindset. 

1093
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:22,360
I mean, and now, you know, we 
just say whatever, but I mean 

1094
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:24,600
it. 
That's also an evolution, is the

1095
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,280
commute, the levels of 
communication you could have. 

1096
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:32,160
And I hate confrontation. 
So that was the hardest part for

1097
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,360
me, because it's not 
confrontation, it's having to 

1098
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:37,320
say stuff aloud that used to be 
in your head that you can keep 

1099
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:38,800
in your head. 
That's why it's easier for 

1100
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,360
people to cheat, because they 
don't have to tell anybody it's 

1101
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:42,680
a secret they have. 
That's why it's easy to be 

1102
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,360
single too, because you don't 
have to have that conversation 

1103
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:46,520
with anybody if you don't want 
to. 

1104
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:50,280
Right. 
And I, I, I would coming in, 

1105
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:54,200
going into, in the beginning, 
like #1 with her, she was not a 

1106
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:57,280
very confrontational person. 
So I would force her to be 

1107
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:01,760
confrontational because I would 
oftentimes put her in 

1108
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,120
uncomfortable positions 
intentionally because I wanted 

1109
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,960
her to experience it. 
Now, I also think the huge 

1110
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,160
difference in the thing that 
when we're talking about 

1111
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:13,120
couples, if you're a couple and 
you're a married couple and you 

1112
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:18,320
love each other, there is this 
thing that's a very basic thing 

1113
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:22,040
that you see if you had kids, 
when they get about, you know, 2

1114
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,480
1/2, three years old, the mind 
thing. 

1115
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:28,360
Mine, mine, mine. 
That's mine. 

1116
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,160
I don't want you to touch it as 
you get older. 

1117
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,960
There's 2 levels of mine. 
There is mine and I want 

1118
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,680
everybody to see that as mine. 
And then there's mine where I 

1119
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,720
wouldn't even pay attention to 
that shit until another kid 

1120
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,520
touched it and I want it back. 
That's something that starts 

1121
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,360
before we even understand that 
concept. 

1122
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:47,440
So I think often times that that
is the thing when we go back to 

1123
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:54,840
a Socrates ask about, you know, 
someone feeling that that veto, 

1124
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:59,280
that the veto thing, let's be 
honest, the veto, we're vetoing 

1125
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:02,720
things for a reason. 
There's not many reasons why I 

1126
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:06,160
should be vetoing something. 
Why should I veto your play date

1127
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:09,400
unless I'm having an insecure 
moment? 

1128
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:14,240
The problem is a lot of us 
aren't willing to say I'm having

1129
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:19,440
an insecure moment, you know, 
and then also understanding that

1130
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:21,400
if you are in a lifestyle with a
partner. 

1131
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:24,480
Every single time you add 
something new, if you add 

1132
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:28,840
kissing to your dynamic, this is
a new relationship. 

1133
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:31,920
This is brand new. 
It's not the same. 

1134
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,120
It's new. 
Now you have to relearn this 

1135
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:38,600
person because the emotions that
you're dealing with now and as 

1136
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:42,280
dudes, a lot of times we'll hold
that shit in and then like I've 

1137
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,360
said before, you snap over a bag
of chips. 

1138
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,760
But I see we are actually out of
time. 

1139
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,600
We're getting yelled at. 
As usual, we've. 

1140
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:56,120
We're getting the finger from 
Mike C We're getting the finger 

1141
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:59,600
from Mike C. 
Yeah. 

1142
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:04,160
You over there doing this shit, 
giving me the hard eyeball. 

1143
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:08,440
It's four O 1. 
Mother might get them So. 

1144
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:10,720
So we will. 
We will quickly exit my love. 

1145
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:11,960
Anything you say before we close
it up. 

1146
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:16,880
Nope, gentlemen. 
Communication. 

1147
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,880
Open communication. 
Have the hard, have the hard 

1148
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:22,120
conversations. 
Don't shy away from stuff. 

1149
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,360
You're going to argue, you're 
going to. 

1150
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,520
This is going to be bickering. 
Just don't do it at Splash. 

1151
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:27,760
Yeah, I think. 
Are in your. 

1152
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:28,440
Room. 
Wait. 

1153
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:30,880
Wait till you get home. 
You gotta wait till you get 

1154
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:32,320
home. 
I think the most important thing

1155
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,600
for you enter the lifestyle is 
to make sure that your 

1156
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:38,680
foundation is strong because the
lifestyle is only going to make 

1157
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:41,800
things worse. 
So the shit problems that you 

1158
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:44,640
have better fix that shit 
because you get a lifestyle 

1159
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:47,360
trying to fix that shit. 
This is not a Band-Aid. 

1160
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:49,080
It's. 
A bonus. 

1161
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:50,680
Not a Band-Aid. 
It's a bonus. 

1162
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:56,600
All right, so. 
Until next time, thank you for 

1163
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,800
joining us at the O Faces 
Podcast. 

1164
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:06,400
And if you want to hear this, 
you can find us at OFACEZO Faces

1165
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,360
wherever you get your podcast. 
Thanks for joining us.