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Hello and welcome to another 
episode of Old Faces. 

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We are your host, Mr. And missus
Mocha. 

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OK, she stuck the landing. 
So on today's podcast, well, 

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first, first I want to say we 
are back. 

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We took the summer off as always
and we did the the the family 

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thing and the fun thing, even 
though Mrs. Mocha had a lot of 

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fun without me this summer. 
It was one time. 

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But did you have a lot of fun? 
I feel like you. 

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Did other. 
Things by yourself. 

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I don't. 
I don't recall any of those 

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other things you're talking 
about. 

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I feel like you Dick down quite 
a few people this summer, so 

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probably more than more Dick 
than I got. 

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Listen, who's counting on it? 
I'm sure. 

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Yeah. 
No, that's absolutely that. 

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Doesn't even count that how? 
Does that not count? 

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It doesn't count. 
It was unplanned, so you don't 

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count that on the list. 
Getting real by a bunch of dudes

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don't count. 
It was see see that's the 

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problem with women. 
You guys grade your Dick on the 

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curve Like how do you just. 
Gangbang really count? 

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Absolutely. 
Gangbang counts. 

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You know, as a matter of fact, 
I'm glad that we're having this 

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this argument because number 
one, number one, I am offended 

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that I've been working my ass 
off, OK. 

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And I woke up this morning and 
all I asked for was a little bit

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of ass and you denied me. 
The dogs needed to go out. 

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OK. 
And with with the issues that 

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we're having, we we decided 
we're going to have to yes, with

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the the marital issues that 
we're having, we decided we're 

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going to invite a couple of a 
couple that's that are therapist

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on. 
So welcome a couple that are 

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therapist on. 
OK now the tequila made. 

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It may have made me slur a 
little bit so don't judge me. 

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How much did you have? 
I only had like a little bit, I 

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hadn't had that much yet. 
OK, you might need to get me a 

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refill so I can slur better. 
All. 

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Right. 
So let's welcome on our guest, 

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Tammy and Norman. 
Welcome. 

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Thank you. 
Thank you very much. 

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I'm glad to be here. 
Yeah, we're excited. 

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So, you know, we're, we're 
probably going to need your help

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today because Missus Mocha has 
been been terrible to me this 

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summer. 
All right? 

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She's just been treating me 
terribly. 

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So before we, we, you, we, we 
utilize your skills before we 

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utilize your skills, we're going
to give you guys an opportunity 

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to tell us a little bit about 
yourselves as a couple in the 

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lifestyle. 
So who's going to tell us how 

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you met? 
Well, you know, I'll let Tammy 

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start about how we met. 
Well, we actually met through 

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Bumble, so yes. 
So I was getting pretty savage 

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by the end of this. 
I had been dating maybe about a 

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year and I came across his 
profile and he had this fabulous

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smile and. 
I still got it by the. 

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Way. 
All the teeth are still there. 

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Thank God that's good. 
Fabulous smile and he was 

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showing off his muscles in his, 
in his picture and I thought, 

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well, he's cute, but he doesn't 
have any words on his profile. 

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So he was really kind of an 
automatic no, that swipe left, 

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he was a swipe left person. 
But I saw that he lived in my 

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city, which is was unusual. 
I lived, I lived in a kind of 

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smaller town. 
So he was down the street. 

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He had this great smile. 
He had some muscles and he's got

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some dark skin. 
I said, well, you know what, if 

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he can't make a conversation, 
then that's OK. 

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He can be swiped left later. 
Let's just see. 

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So I took a chance and reached 
out and said, hey, great smile. 

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Would like to know more about 
you. 

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Could you fill me in, you know, 
tell me more about yourself. 

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And he hit me with some things, 
You know, that this is the job I

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have. 
This is where I work. 

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And also I have a degree in 
therapy. 

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And I was like, wait, what? 
I have a degree in therapy. 

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What? 
This is like the trifecta I just

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came across. 
So I said I'm a therapist too, 

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and that we just kind of hit it 
off, met the next day and the 

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rest is kind of history. 
I really thought he was just 

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going to be part of the roster 
is what I thought so. 

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But when this man could 
communicate, he was he was a 

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winner. 
So here we are. 

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Well, you're leaving out, if you
don't mind, you're leaving out 

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some things. 
I think that for me, when I 

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first saw your picture, I'm I'm 
here's the deal. 

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I'm a black guy and I'm a very 
attractive black guy. 

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So I did an opportunity to pick 
from what I want. 

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And when I saw your face, he 
kind of stood out. 

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You're fine. 
So I wanted it. 

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When? 
She walked into the Starbucks, 

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her ass and her face 
unbelievable to me, and I said, 

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this is one I have to have. 
Now here's the deal. 

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I lied about my age because 
she's a little bit younger than 

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me. 
I'm a little older, but in order

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to capture her, I think I had to
make a little modification to my

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age on the on the website so I 
can pull in that young love and 

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and when you walked in in the 
ginger wore. 

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We've been together ever since. 
It's very nice. 

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I like that. 
Very nice. 

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So, so look also see now I'm 
already gonna gonna jump in 

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there 'cause I like how she said
his profile had very few words. 

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So I I almost didn't swipe it. 
I'm gonna tell you something. 

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My profile has always had very 
few words and I realized that. 

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I only liked your profile and 
Plenty of Fish because you had 

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big ass hands and I was like, I 
want to see what those hands can

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fucking do. 
That was literally the only 

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reason I was like, well, he's 
hot, but I want to see what his 

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hands can do. 
I don't use it like I I have to 

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say this from a profile 
standpoint. 

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I think that people look at a 
male, a single guy's profile and

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go, he's not describing himself 
well enough. 

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But as a single dude on a 
website, if you describe 

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yourself too well, you're going 
to turn off someone. 

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So when you see a single dude, 
excuse me, most single dudes who

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have this elaborate profile and 
all of these things, that dude 

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is usually not the one you want.
But you can. 

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There's just some guys that need
to simplify a little bit. 

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But some women like to read a 
long profile. 

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But that, but I'm saying like 
most of the guys who have those 

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super long profiles tend to be 
the dudes who are a little too 

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emotional for you. 
I didn't. 

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Think that was like. 
And for me, it's interesting 

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that like that's kind of the 
observation that I've made with 

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the guys who we know who have 
the Super long profiles and the 

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guys who we know who don't have 
a long profile are usually the 

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guys that she winds up liking 
the most. 

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They're usually the guy. 
Mean though, that's why it's the

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intrigue for me. 
Like we'd see what that happens.

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There's a Dick for her like a. 
Surprise. 

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I like a surprise. 
There's, there's something about

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I guess the mystery if it's 
carried too far, though. 

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No, you're going to turn me off 
if I, if it's like pulling teeth

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to get you to communicate and 
make me work too hard. 

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Nah, I do that every day in my 
life of, you know, trying to 

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pull information out of people. 
So I didn't want to work that 

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hard. 
And luckily he didn't make me 

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have to work that hard. 
I I made, I made you work hard. 

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I mean, I'm not free. 
You just can't. 

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You're. 
Pretty. 

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She used to like a piece. 
Of trying to make you sound 

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cheap. 
Goodness. 

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Come. 
On I I didn't think it was much 

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of a challenge. 
Not true. 

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Man, it's OK to be used 
sometimes. 

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Hey look, I'm a dude. 
My. 

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Job is to be simple. 
I see it, I want it. 

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My caveman kicks in. 
Yes. 

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I literally was still scared to.
I was scared the first time I 

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met you that you had a small 
Dick. 

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I was like, there's too many 
things about him that are good. 

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He's going to have a small 
penis. 

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Like he didn't even let me see 
his penis before he fucked me. 

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He just bit me over and did it. 
And I was like, oh, it kind of 

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hurts. 
I came back. 

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I came. 
Back for round two, it's. 

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Funny you say that because yes, 
the first time we had sex too, I

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went oh thank God. 
You think there's too many 

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factors when you've talked to 
too many, like so many men. 

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I don't want to sidetrack, but 
when you've talked to so many 

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men on different dating sites or
whatever, you're like something 

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has to be fucking wrong at this 
point. 

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Like there has to be a flaw. 
He's freaking crazy, but I can 

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deal with like his crazy. 
It's not that crazy. 

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And he's very like OCD, but I 
can deal with that. 

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He's had everything else was 
good. 

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He makes up for it in the Dick, 
that's true. 

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She can deal with his OCD, why 
can't you deal with mine? 

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I don't. 
Know about all that. 

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I think that personally that men
don't go. 

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They don't need to get in death.
I like what you say, Mr. Mocha, 

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if she's attractive, if I'm 
going to go and see if the ass 

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is right the way I want to be, 
if the, if the titties look the 

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way they want them to be, that's
kind of what I'm looking for. 

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And yeah, you can, you can talk.
I got all that. 

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But I'm really interested, 
honestly, at least when I first 

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saw you with the physical 
characteristics you brought to 

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the table and you brought some. 
Yeah, and you insulted me when? 

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When you pretty much told me I 
should have ran, but I didn't. 

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I stuck around because what you 
said was when I said something 

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about, hey, sometimes men have 
found me attractive because I am

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a business owner and an 
entrepreneur, an independent. 

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Smart right here, baby, right 
here. 

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And you said, yeah, those things
don't mean anything to me, that 

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that means nothing. 
It was like a dagger in my 

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heart. 
That's a man like a. 

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Good thing, yeah. 
He was honest because we don't. 

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Here's the thing, a the 
difference between a man and a 

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woman. 
If I find a woman who's 

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attractive and she makes me feel
a certain way, she could work at

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McDonald's. 
Exactly. 

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I And here's the thing. 
Or. 

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Be a therapist. 
Or be or be a therapist. 

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I'm just. 
Saying and and here's the thing,

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if it wasn't like that, if, if, 
if God didn't make us or 

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evolution didn't make us that 
simple. 

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Oh wow, not the. 
Religion. 

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Either one, our simple brains, 
you, we, it wouldn't work. 

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We wouldn't be able to populate 
the Earth like men are from 

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Mars, women are from Venus. 
And be careful with that 

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statement because she doesn't 
like that book. 

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Listen, we're so different. 
We're so different. 

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I used to tell my sisters, OK 
look, if you want to figure out 

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how to deal with your guy, think
about how you would handle this 

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and do the direct opposite 
thing. 

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We won't go there today. 
Let's go back to the subject. 

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We this we wore over this all 
the time. 

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Yes. 
So since since misses, mocha is 

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getting all sensitive over here.
I'm not getting sensitive. 

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You just don't have a period, so
you don't know what that is 

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like. 
Did I say anything about a 

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period? 
I said. 

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00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,120
You don't talk about a period, 
we can't talk about the period. 

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00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,000
Oh, you can't either. 
I can't talk about the period. 

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00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,480
You know we don't talk about 
biology here, right? 

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The point is, Miss Mocha, what 
do you mean by a period and as 

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it relates to? 
One of our arguments. 

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00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,240
Yeah, that's one of our biggest,
like, male, female arguments 

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because he tries to tell me he 
knows how I feel. 

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Like when I was having, I would 
call it mana crazy because when 

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I went through menopause, I was 
like, I couldn't even explain 

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myself. 
But he was trying to make some. 

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I didn't say I knew how she 
felt. 

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See, I would say I don't care. 
I'm not going to be a punching 

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bag. 
No, no, no, no, no. 

224
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:45,520
You and Q were here and tried to
have a whole debate with me 

225
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:51,440
about how women use periods as 
an excuse and da da, da, da, da.

226
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:56,200
But I had to explain to you, and
a doctor had to explain to him 

227
00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:00,480
that anything that makes sense 
to you doesn't make sense to 

228
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,960
her. 
He understood it once she said 

229
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,920
that because he's very logical. 
So even if it's an emotion, he 

230
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,360
has to make logic out of it, 
even if there's no fucking 

231
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,600
logic. 
And that's what I was trying to 

232
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,080
explain to him one day. 
And he's like had five sisters, 

233
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,200
blah blah blah blah blah. 
And I'm like, we have 5 fucking 

234
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,760
girls. 
That doesn't mean I'm an expert.

235
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,680
That means I know what I do. 
Doesn't mean I know what our 

236
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:22,960
next kid will do or whatever. 
So we're not going to. 

237
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:26,600
We're going to be. 
Done. 

238
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,480
This is our, this is our fight 
we we've had. 

239
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,440
So this has been an ongoing 
fight for probably about 10 

240
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,360
years, OK. 
So, so can we reframe that this 

241
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,640
has been an ongoing discussion 
to discuss the differences in 

242
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,800
our view and our perspective of 
women, periods and how men 

243
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,640
relate and understand that 
process. 

244
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,240
Just reframe a little bit 
because I don't think you're 

245
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,800
fighting. 
I mean more or less trying to 

246
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,280
communicate. 
You haven't been here during the

247
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:57,680
actual I was actually fighting. 
He was having a discussion 

248
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:02,000
because he likes to debate. 
I don't to me it turns into a 

249
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,560
fight because now I'm why am I 
mad about something you don't 

250
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,080
understand? 
So now what is my response? 

251
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,200
I literally say OK daddy and I 
walk away. 

252
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,880
See she don't she don't like 
tack on that subject, but out my

253
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,120
my the whole reason we got into 
it. 

254
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:21,720
It was I would always say this 
and when she was going through 

255
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,720
her. 
Men are crazy. 

256
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:24,840
Menopause. 
Menopause. 

257
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,600
Menopause. 
I like that one, yeah. 

258
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:31,680
Here's the thing. 
Like my by nature I am not good.

259
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,480
With emotions. 
No, no, no, I'm not good at 

260
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,280
taking abuse when I don't 
understand why I'm taking it. 

261
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,280
It's only it's only a. 
So when I. 

262
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:45,520
Didn't understand. 
Like if I come in and I'm happy 

263
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,560
and I've done something good for
you and then 10 minutes later 

264
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,880
you're angry. 
I what did I do? 

265
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,760
What can I do to fix how you 
feel right now? 

266
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:01,120
So right now you're kneeing me 
in the nuts and I don't like it.

267
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,160
So your thing is I don't know 
why I'm kneeling you in the 

268
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,360
nuts. 
Well, my nuts hurt. 

269
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,360
I need to know why you're knee 
mean a nuts because I don't want

270
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,520
to reflexively karate chop you 
in the throat. 

271
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,240
So that was always my thing. 
Like look, you have to give me 

272
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,600
more than that. 
And so we came up the thing 

273
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:25,880
where our process was she get to
a point where she wasn't aware 

274
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:31,000
that she was at that point. 
And I would say, hey, if you do 

275
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,680
that again, I'm gonna hurt your 
feelings and I won't feel bad 

276
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,880
about it. 
So we came up with the process. 

277
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,160
Let me know that I agree. 
He made it. 

278
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,640
He makes it sound a lot meaner 
than. 

279
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:47,800
Oh, no, no, no. 
One day he was like, you have 

280
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,840
one more time to snip at me and 
I'm going to lose it. 

281
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,160
That's what he said. 
And I was like, am I being mean?

282
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,000
I didn't even know that I was 
being like, because I guess 

283
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,240
normally I'm very chill. 
I'm sarcastic. 

284
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,360
I'm just chill. 
So I guess I'd snapped at him 

285
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,640
more times than he liked and I 
didn't even know and he said 

286
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,120
that and I was like, OK, for 
well, from now on, just say that

287
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,200
because I'm not I really was not
aware. 

288
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:13,200
I know that sounds like it 
sounds crazy, but we again, we 

289
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,080
won't have to go there. 
We. 

290
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,400
Have that, except it's kind of 
in reverse. 

291
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,720
I'm the one that will warn you, 
you're getting, you're getting 

292
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,080
to the line, you're getting. 
We need to do something 

293
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,480
different. 
We need to walk away. 

294
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,920
I'll say some shit. 
I mean, I just, I just, I say 

295
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:31,160
some shit and she'll have to 
check me and give me that 

296
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,800
warning, which we encouraged 
couples to do that. 

297
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,480
If you get to a place and, and, 
and Miss Mogalaikai, you said 

298
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,840
that if you get to a place and 
you're, you've come up against 

299
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,760
that border, like you just do 
tell the person that they're 

300
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,400
having. 
Hey, you about to, you say that 

301
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,360
you're about to, hey, you're 
about to make me upset. 

302
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,240
You're about to piss me off. 
Communication is the key. 

303
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,680
And you always tell me I don't 
listen to you, but you always 

304
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,680
tell me I'm coming up to that 
place and watch yourself. 

305
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,040
And I figure you get what you 
deserve after that. 

306
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,720
I don't feel bad after that. 
And. 

307
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,000
You say some shit too, by the 
way. 

308
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,640
Talk about my penis size. 
That's the problem. 

309
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:18,640
I have always come. 
I like that I'm stealing that 

310
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,600
one. 
The penis. 

311
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,720
So. 
I don't you just saying that 

312
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,080
we're in here with that friend. 
I'm saying that. 

313
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,200
Look, that's how that's why we 
know we get away with that 

314
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,680
bullshit with the Dick out, what
do? 

315
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,320
You want it got worshipped? 
Come on now. 

316
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:35,160
Yeah, it was good. 
Don't bring up that subject like

317
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,840
the milk is so salty about not 
fucking him this morning. 

318
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,000
Yeah, it was an hour rolled over
and then the damn dog, she's 

319
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,040
like, I got to take the dog. 
I'll fuck them dogs. 

320
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,320
I'm sorry for all you people who
love animals. 

321
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,800
I love animals. 
So, you know, it's it's cool 

322
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,120
that, you know, we, it took us, 
it was very difficult for us to 

323
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:59,080
get through that phase. 
I mean, it was challenging 

324
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:04,440
because I am not good with. 
I'm one of those people. 

325
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,880
Like if I offend you, I did it 
on purpose. 

326
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:12,800
So I know I offended you. 
I want you to know I offended 

327
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:17,359
you so there's no confusion. 
So if I walk in the house and 

328
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,119
you were acting offended, I'm 
like, what's? 

329
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,599
What do I ask you when you're 
upset? 

330
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,400
Did I do something to offend 
you? 

331
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:27,319
That's when I will come home. 
And the kids pissed her off the 

332
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:28,520
first thing. 
Fuck them kids. 

333
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,560
Hey, was it me? 
OK, cool. 

334
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,360
If it wasn't me. 
Who do you want me to attack? 

335
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,000
Who do you want me? 
So we can't. 

336
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,560
We got to that place where I 
was. 

337
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:46,040
Our disagreement was more of 
because I know myself. 

338
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:54,200
For your mental health, you need
to figure out a way to deal with

339
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,480
your situation. 
I understand that you don't 

340
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,880
understand, and I understand 
that I don't understand, but if 

341
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:11,720
I come into an attack when it's 
all said and done, if I 

342
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,760
retaliate verbally? 
Let's pause. 

343
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,840
You're going to. 
Let's be for real cause an 

344
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:27,080
attack on Mr. Mocha is for me, 
OK Is anything out of the norm 

345
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:32,040
of what I normally am, which is 
99.9% chill yeah. 

346
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:37,360
So if he can tell that I'm 
irritated, that is what he means

347
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,600
on attack. 
I I don't want you guys to think

348
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,240
that like I beat the shit out 
of. 

349
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:46,120
It no, no, she listen like we so
we we're not, we're not yellers,

350
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:51,200
we're not like even even when 
she would she we get into it and

351
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,680
I'll be talking and she's like, 
daddy, you're yelling at me and 

352
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,840
I'm like, I'm not yelling. 
So his. 

353
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,920
Like this is me saying I'm not 
yelling. 

354
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,560
She's like, but it's your tone. 
But but you said I was yelling. 

355
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,840
I'm not yelling. 
But your tone says you're 

356
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:07,760
yelling but I'm I'm not yelling.
Like and then I start laughing 

357
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,200
because I'm not raising my 
voice. 

358
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,360
This is why I watched true crime
shows. 

359
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,320
This is why she watched How to 
Kill Your Husband shows. 

360
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,360
Yeah, no, I haven't watched 
those in a while. 

361
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,600
I've refrained from those 'cause
I was mad at you a few days ago.

362
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,680
There are different ways and I 
hope I don't. 

363
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,560
Different ways to kill your. 
Husband. 

364
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,040
I'm Norman Johnson. 
It's a different way. 

365
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,120
Let. 
Me get my notepad ready there. 

366
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,480
Are different ways to show 
disappointment, aggression, 

367
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,800
discomfort. 
You don't have to necessarily be

368
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,440
yelling for the particular 
feeling to get to her that she's

369
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,400
uncomfortable. 
What you're saying she's 

370
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,200
uncomfortable about what you're 
doing and then she can say that 

371
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,520
to you. 
Even though you're saying I'm 

372
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,440
not yelling, it's still coming 
to her in a form that she 

373
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,760
doesn't, she can't digest, 
emotionally digest, and I'm 

374
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:56,720
talking too much. 
Beautiful. 

375
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,280
Tell me. 
So I understand what you're 

376
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,760
saying about and you're saying 
you're not yelling, but she's 

377
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,280
still getting triggered by what 
you're saying. 

378
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,440
And that's the important part of
that disagreement. 

379
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:13,240
Oh yeah, definitely. 
Because in my mind I'm yelling. 

380
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,320
Because in my mind I'm 
definitely yelling. 

381
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,160
Can I just? 
Say something really quick. 

382
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,400
There's been several nights I've
creepily stared at you to see if

383
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,240
I could like chop you on the 
foot and then pretend like I 

384
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,280
could go back to sleep and like 
just be completely fine. 

385
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,320
Like wonder what he would do if 
I just like, did it super fast 

386
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,280
and then turned over. 
How fast could I get back on my 

387
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,480
side of the bed? 
And what do I tell you whenever 

388
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,880
you say what would happen if I 
did that? 

389
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
You said try it. 
As I always said, give it a 

390
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:41,960
shot. 
Who will find out? 

391
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:43,680
We'll learn together now, won't 
we? 

392
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,400
We're getting like dark humor. 
We should probably. 

393
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,280
Go. 
Down on it, everybody's going to

394
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,360
be like, should we check on Mr. 
Mocha? 

395
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,120
Yeah. 
Yeah, like I need everybody 

396
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,840
check on Mr. Mocha. 
All right, so I've got 

397
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,400
obviously, as always, we 
digress. 

398
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:06,400
So question, who brought up the 
lifestyle first not. 

399
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,360
The nervous laugh. 
Do you remember? 

400
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,720
Yes, I do remember and I think 
it was you. 

401
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,280
Matter of fact it was you 
because I wasn't in the 

402
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,400
lifestyle prior to meeting her. 
I had just come off a 

403
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:29,880
challenging divorce with a young
lady and I was looking for some 

404
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,480
sexual, emotional, physical 
release and a new path. 

405
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:39,440
And when I ran into you, you 
introduced me to your friends, 

406
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:44,480
which were in the lifestyle go. 
So yes, that first, that first 

407
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,160
Starbucks meeting, that faithful
day, it was day one. 

408
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,240
I said, hey, you know the 
friends I told you about, 

409
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,560
they're actually down the 
street. 

410
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,400
You want to go hang out with 
them? 

411
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,840
Wait day one day. 1. 
Day one. 

412
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,680
Day one. 
So I said, you ready to go meet 

413
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,440
him? 
And he said, sure, I know, 

414
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,480
right? 
He said let me go change my 

415
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,480
shirt though. 
So he was wearing like a nice 

416
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,040
little polo style type shirt. 
So he went to go and I thought, 

417
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,320
this dude's not going to show 
up. 

418
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,360
He's he just used that as an 
excuse. 

419
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,560
He's he's. 
Gone to escape. 

420
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,200
Yep, Yep. 
So. 

421
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,920
But he did. 
He showed up. 

422
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,040
He jumped right in, jumped in 
the deep end and held his own. 

423
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,480
So he did great. 
What does that mean? 

424
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,720
Jumped in the deep end. 
Well, because prior to that, I 

425
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,240
mean, I, I never heard the word 
lifestyle, literally never heard

426
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,680
the word lifestyle. 
I, I think I had some 

427
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,880
understanding and as to this day
about people having multiple 

428
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,440
partners and, and having 
different sexual experiences, 

429
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,440
but lifestyle wasn't part of my 
lexicon at that particular time.

430
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,920
I'm, I'm a soldier. 
I'm, I'm, with all due respect, 

431
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,680
I'm a conservative. 
I'm doing what the government 

432
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,000
tells me to do. 
And in the army, the lifestyle 

433
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,320
is blatantly illegal. 
You can be court martial to, to 

434
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,880
have sex outside your 
relationship. 

435
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,320
So it wasn't and I've been in 
for 20 years, so I wouldn't 

436
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,640
necessarily know about that. 
In meeting you, I was excited 

437
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,120
the opportunity to see a 
different type of, of of 

438
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:14,000
interaction between people and I
was, I was just excited to go 

439
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,000
and see what you had to offer. 
Yeah, and that first meeting was

440
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:18,480
public. 
You know, it was at a bar. 

441
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,240
It was at a local bar, so it 
wasn't, you know, anything 

442
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,240
scandalous or risque at that 
time, at that moment. 

443
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,600
So, but he was able to mix and 
mingle with everybody. 

444
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:32,160
He was welcomed in. 
He didn't run away. 

445
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,280
Wow. 
I was hoping maybe get a chant 

446
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,120
that can I be with another white
woman? 

447
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:40,760
That's been my preference 
forever and you were going to 

448
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,960
introduce me to that lifestyle. 
So I thought it's an 

449
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,680
opportunity. 
Wait, wait, was she your first 

450
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,000
white woman? 
No, she wasn't. 

451
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,280
But. 
Wait, I'm sorry, did we tell 

452
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,440
everybody that they are an 
interracial couple? 

453
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,400
That we we tell them that we did
not? 

454
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:59,280
So like Missus Missus Mocha and 
I, he is a dark skinned guy like

455
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,040
myself, and she's a sexy redhead
like Missus Mocha. 

456
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:07,040
So yeah. 
It it had been prior to meeting 

457
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,880
you, it had been 2530 years 
since I've been with a white 

458
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,840
woman. 
You ever had that preference for

459
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,520
something you just haven't had a
chance to have it? 

460
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,720
Oh, yeah. 
And then when I met you, man, it

461
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,640
was it was full on. 
I'm ready to go all in. 

462
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,440
Yeah, so, so, so let's let's be 
clear everybody. 

463
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:30,440
So Tammy is Tammy has this look 
about her where she's good, but 

464
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,160
she's bad. 
Like she's got that look where 

465
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,480
it's like she looks like a good 
person, but you're like, man, I 

466
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,800
bet that's good. 
Like that's the thought that you

467
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,800
have. 
I, I, I know you had it when you

468
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:41,800
first saw. 
I have it right now. 

469
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:42,760
I know. 
Me too. 

470
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:46,800
I have right now. 
I'm having the same thought. 

471
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,680
So, so wow. 
That's so you hadn't had so you 

472
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,320
hadn't been with a white woman 
and baby, you can't put that 

473
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,280
there. 
It's gonna make noise. 

474
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,800
So you hadn't been with a white 
woman in 20 years? 

475
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:04,840
Oh yeah. 20 plus years. 
He's forgetting someone. 

476
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,120
I feel bad about that. 
I keep forgetting that girl I 

477
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,920
slept with. 
Not that good. 

478
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,440
Yeah. 
Well listen, if you forgot it 

479
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,920
then hey, you have a. 
Film Bill someone you forgot 

480
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,360
about it. 
More times than I can tell you. 

481
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,120
OK, I did have AI, had a tryst 
with a white girl, but honestly,

482
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:25,960
in the relationship you were my 
within, I mean, 20 years. 

483
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,640
So yeah, I had AI, had a little 
hook up here and there in a 

484
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,680
hotel in Dallas. 
OK, didn't work out well the way

485
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,360
I wanted to. 
Yeah. 

486
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,600
Yeah. 
We've once again, we've all been

487
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,880
there too. 
So so you, so she. 

488
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:43,640
She introduced you to the 
lifestyle the first day. 

489
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,560
Day one. 
Day one. 

490
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,440
So you hadn't had sex with her 
yet when she talked about I 

491
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,880
hadn't. 
Had sex with her, yet I met her 

492
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,400
the first day I had not had sex 
with her. 

493
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:58,080
That is that is that's ballsy. 
Like see look, I told her about 

494
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,080
it after I had given her some 
Dick right after. 

495
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,040
But I mean like I gave her the 
Dick first to make sure she was 

496
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,520
like she was all in. 
Wow that. 

497
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:07,960
Stigmatized. 
Her Yeah, yeah. 

498
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,200
Listen, I. 
Wouldn't have been a friend 

499
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,240
though had he told me 
beforehand. 

500
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,280
I was literally probably a 
swinger. 

501
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,560
I just didn't know there was I 
was an actual change. 

502
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,320
She was, she was out there, 
right I'd. 

503
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,800
Fuck seven guys in three days 
because I hadn't had my kids in 

504
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,280
a while. 
I was like newly divorced so I 

505
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,480
hadn't had my kids in a while. 
So, seven guys. 

506
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,800
You hadn't lost time to make up.
There I literally got to his 

507
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,400
house and I was like, I'm not 
even shaving my fucking pussy 

508
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,240
out because I'm not fucking him.
Like feeling bad for myself. 

509
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,720
For whatever reason, I was the 
only one knowing that I slept 

510
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,600
with seven nudes. 
She came to my house and she 

511
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,720
thought she wouldn't give me 
something. 

512
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,120
You're right. 
Yeah, he held out though. 

513
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:47,800
He held out a whole week for me.
He did. 

514
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,120
I did. 
And I mean remember now I'm in 

515
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,560
the military. 
So the military has a way of 

516
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,760
brainwashing. 
It's not a bad word in this, in 

517
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,880
this regard. 
But the notion that, you know, 

518
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,040
multiple partners, that's 
something I felt, but it wasn't 

519
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:07,160
something I was able to exercise
because I was a high-ranking 

520
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,920
military person. 
I'll leave it at that. 

521
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,680
And I had a lot of restrictions 
on my behaviour. 

522
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,680
So when I met her, she opened 
the door to an environment that 

523
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,920
I wanted to go through, and I 
took advantage of it. 

524
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,200
You've introduced me to the 
lifestyle and I've been in there

525
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:23,720
ever since. 
Nice. 

526
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,480
I'm retired now so I can fuck. 
Yeah, yeah, you do what you want

527
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,040
now. 
Me as I want, as much as I want.

528
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,120
Very nice. 
But back then I had to be very 

529
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,440
cautious about what I did and 
who I did it with. 

530
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,720
So your first time. 
OK, so your your first. 

531
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,640
So I want to Fast forward to the
first time you played. 

532
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,760
Together. 
I want to know about the 

533
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,600
together. 
Oh, so the first wait, wait, the

534
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,160
first time they played together 
in lifestyle? 

535
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,440
The first time they fucked each 
other. 

536
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:53,720
No. 
We. 

537
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,160
They're still together, they're 
fucked together. 

538
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,240
Was clearly fine yeah, they're 
still together. 

539
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,440
So the first time they. 
Said your first lifestyle 

540
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,400
experience together. 
Where was your head at the first

541
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,400
time? 
Let's clarify something. 

542
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,720
When you say play together, what
do you mean by that? 

543
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,440
Like with another couple or 
with. 

544
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,840
Or with another woman. 
Or you played or yeah, like what

545
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,680
was your first? 
Any any lifestyle interaction 

546
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:25,280
where you got that sensation 
that someone was either touching

547
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,560
the person you're with or you 
were dealing with the person 

548
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,360
you're with watching you 
interact with someone else 

549
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:36,320
sexually. 
Just pause like did you guys 

550
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,200
have like a threesome with the 
chick first? 

551
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,440
Did you not? 
I think, and that's a very good 

552
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:46,840
clarifying question. 
I think that our experience, we 

553
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:52,200
don't normally experience 
sexuality in a format that has 

554
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,000
multiple partners 
simultaneously. 

555
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,200
Better yet, for some threesome, 
we don't necessarily do that, I 

556
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,200
think. 
So no group. 

557
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,360
Stuff no got it. 
So what what we Yeah, I like 

558
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,120
that. 
What to go back to the original 

559
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:12,960
question the first time that she
not me and and that's and that's

560
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,400
OK. 
And I not not not like that. 

561
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:19,360
The first time was we went to a 
house party and one of her 

562
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:25,400
previous partners has showed up 
to the house party and that 

563
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,880
person was the person that she 
played with. 

564
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,480
I didn't play with anyone that 
night, but I went home. 

565
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,720
She played with him and I I 
don't want to speak for you. 

566
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,120
If you want to speak for you, 
you can. 

567
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,360
I don't want to speak your 
story. 

568
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:44,480
But she played it that evening 
and that was my first experience

569
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,320
in having her come home. 
Having had experienced that, 

570
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:53,560
that, that, that, that activity.
It was, it was new to me. 

571
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,280
I wasn't expecting it. 
We had talked about it, but it 

572
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,200
was something that I had to 
learn very quickly. 

573
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:04,080
She played and I think we 
played, which something is what 

574
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,800
it is. 
We played after that and the 

575
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,320
next day we discussed that 
experience about our her first 

576
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,800
experience in our relationship 
playing. 

577
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,040
That wasn't my first. 
I was hers, but I was a part of 

578
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,800
that process. 
So did so did you? 

579
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,560
Did you, did you feel the burn? 
Like, did you feel that? 

580
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,960
That moment where like you, that
weird uncomfortable sensation 

581
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:29,240
where it's like you have to talk
to yourself about sharing what 

582
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,880
was yours? 
Did you, did you get that 

583
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,440
sensation where it's like, how 
do I feel about this? 

584
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,520
You want to you want to talk 
that piece? 

585
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,240
No, no, that's you. 
I did when she came home that 

586
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:44,000
day and and we love to speak 
graphically. 

587
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,400
Right. 
I officially like you for 

588
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:46,960
telling the truth. 
Oh, yeah, Yeah. 

589
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:51,440
So listen, I officially like you
because that's always my test 

590
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,760
with guys. 
Where where it's like, are they 

591
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,800
going to be honest about that? 
That emotional like, like finish

592
00:30:59,360 --> 00:30:59,720
this. 
I'm sorry. 

593
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,040
Go ahead. 
No, no, you're fine, I think. 

594
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,120
So be graphic. 
Not when she came home and I 

595
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,640
made love to her. 
We had sex, we fucked. 

596
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:09,160
Whatever word you want to use, 
it felt different and I don't 

597
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,080
know why it felt different, but 
it felt different to me. 

598
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:17,280
We hadn't talked about it, but I
was aroused by her coming home 

599
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,640
and we were. 
We fucked for what I thought was

600
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,320
a good time. 
We had a good time, but I felt 

601
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,440
something different. 
I didn't know until the next 

602
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,120
morning we woke up that she had 
previously been with someone 

603
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:32,480
else the previous night. 
So that was my introduction to 

604
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:36,040
the official position of being 
in the lifestyle. 

605
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:41,120
My wife, not my wife at the 
time, going out, being intimate 

606
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,920
in that setting, coming home, me
being intimate with her because 

607
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,880
I'm still aroused by her 
presence and the fact that the 

608
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,160
possibility she's with somebody 
else didn't know it. 

609
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,960
And that was arousing. 
And we made love and we talked 

610
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,400
about the next day and it came 
out that she had been with 

611
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,640
someone and I knew the person. 
I have a lot of respect to the 

612
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,120
good guy. 
And we had a really good 

613
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:02,760
discussion about that 
experience. 

614
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,080
It wasn't anger, it wasn't 
frustration. 

615
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,880
It was more like, okay, there's 
some other things we had to work

616
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,840
through, but we worked through 
with that evening and we moved 

617
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,480
on. 
I think we did a good job. 

618
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,720
So wait, I'll need some 
clarification. 

619
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,480
And you don't have to. 
That is. 

620
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,000
So I'm gonna do this to you the 
whole episode. 

621
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,040
You do it to a. 
Man, thank you. 

622
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,120
Thank you. 
Two different things. 

623
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,520
I'm playing Mrs. Mocha Nibble 
and she said she's gonna play 

624
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:28,720
with mine. 
No, it's not the same. 

625
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,480
Same. 
OK, OK, So clarification, you 

626
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,240
said it felt different, like 
emotionally or her pussy felt 

627
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,920
different. 
OK, OK. 

628
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,040
Yeah, yeah. 
No, Yeah. 

629
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,320
Yeah, you did. 
We talked about it. 

630
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,360
Yeah, we talked about it. 
Yeah, it felt different. 

631
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:47,880
So what we're saying here is, is
there is there a physical change

632
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,400
to a woman's pussy when she's 
with one guy and then 30 minutes

633
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,960
to our relationship with another
guy? 

634
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,000
Yes, absolutely. 
Yes. 

635
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:59,200
But did you feel like did the 
jealousy or well, well, we don't

636
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,640
have to say jealousy, but 
insecure. 

637
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,680
I don't know how to what the 
word could be. 

638
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,520
Because I all of it. 
That's that's I. 

639
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:07,040
Felt. 
Hold on, you're not let. 

640
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:14,840
Me finish the question Tequila 
now we'll call it insecurity 

641
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,960
because I had that for the first
time. 

642
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,800
I saw him fuck somebody else and
it but it was for a split 

643
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,480
second. 
But do you feel like, I know you

644
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:23,920
said you didn't know, but did 
you? 

645
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,520
Did you kind of like reclaim her
after that? 

646
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:30,360
Like with that year Reclaim like
this is mine and it made sex 

647
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,000
better, even though you were 
still kind of in your head about

648
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,280
stuff. 
First of all, to answer that 

649
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,960
question, I'm going to be not 
necessarily honest, but I'm 

650
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,520
going to be vulnerable. 
Yeah. 

651
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:40,200
Yeah. 
OK. 

652
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,480
She doesn't know that. 
And I have never shared this 

653
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,000
with you. 
And this is an opportunity for 

654
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,800
me to just be speak my mind. 
It was a reclaiming process. 

655
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,520
Yeah. 
It was a it was a sensation that

656
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:52,080
I was going to have sex with 
her. 

657
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,000
And here's the thing. 
You may not be aware of it, 

658
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,400
beautiful, but I kind of had an 
idea you were with somebody. 

659
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,720
I just didn't articulate it, but
you didn't tell me. 

660
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:06,720
But I felt aroused by the notion
that she was with somebody else.

661
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:13,679
And that arousal made me feel I 
had to be with her, and I was. 

662
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,080
It felt different, but make no 
mistake about it, it felt 

663
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:21,159
pleasurable, it felt erotic and 
it felt empowering. 

664
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:22,760
And I never shared that with 
you. 

665
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,960
But that's how I felt when that 
first day when you came back 

666
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,080
from that experience. 
But it's also like too, I feel 

667
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:34,280
like I've had that with like Mr.
Moko, like why is my pussy wet? 

668
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,280
But I'm mad about who he just 
fucked. 

669
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:40,880
But I did it made things better.
And I think this is just me 

670
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:45,080
talking and I'm sorry if I cut 
you off, but me talking, my 

671
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,440
brain was fighting my vagina 
like because somebody told me 

672
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,080
along the way like that's not 
OK. 

673
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,679
You're not supposed to be 
letting your husband have sex 

674
00:34:53,679 --> 00:34:55,719
with somebody else and be turned
on by that. 

675
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,960
So it was a constant battle 
between my brain and my pussy 

676
00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:03,400
was like, well, you still have 
sex with them and why, you know?

677
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,800
And that, that is the discussion
that I think we had. 

678
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,800
You know, that there is this 
conflict, but there's something 

679
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,240
about that conflict that creates
that friction, right? 

680
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:15,120
That excitement and made it 
honestly more passionate. 

681
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,680
So I did know some of what he's 
talking about because of my 

682
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,040
intuition and my feeling and I 
know him, right? 

683
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,760
And so that night, the sex was 
awesome. 

684
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,760
With me or the other person, 
yeah. 

685
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,840
Yes, yes, yes. 
I didn't know that. 

686
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,720
Partly, I'm just the first. 
Time here It was fun. 

687
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,920
It was fun with him. 
It was passionate with you. 

688
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:34,840
I. 
Put you on the spot. 

689
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,840
I apologize for that. 
Oh no, you're good. 

690
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,560
I'm good. 
We're here for it. 

691
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,920
That's right, that's right. 
But no, that night is, is very 

692
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,760
distinctly like embedded in my 
brain, right? 

693
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,840
Because of how passionate it was
in that you had this, Did she? 

694
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,440
Didn't she? 
I don't know. 

695
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,640
But I got the sense that now I 
can feel her body is different. 

696
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,680
So now I know, but I don't 
concretely know yet. 

697
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,920
And that created some kind of 
extra chemistry there, whatever 

698
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,240
that was. 
I love, I love the sensation of 

699
00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:10,560
reclaiming like there's no, I 
tell her all time I'm going to 

700
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,120
rinse your pussy out with my 
cum. 

701
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:16,200
Like that's like, you go ahead, 
you go ahead and do what you 

702
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,760
want to do. 
And I like that. 

703
00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:24,880
I like to work myself up and put
myself in different emotional 

704
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:32,840
places when she comes home. 
So it could be a day where, and 

705
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:36,760
I mean, this may be 
controversial, but fuck it. 

706
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:44,360
Like I think that emotions 
motivate what I'm doing. 

707
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:51,080
So there's sometimes where I 
want to be excited that she 

708
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,640
played with somebody. 
There's sometimes where I want 

709
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,840
to be angry that she played with
somebody. 

710
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,920
So she comes home and I'm like, 
you gave my shit away. 

711
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:03,840
Didn't you like? 
And now and now now I'm I have 

712
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:10,360
an attitude and until I come, 
this is who I am and I and I one

713
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,480
day it may be my my, my 
excitement one day, I may be my 

714
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,000
anger one day. 
And, and I enjoy that. 

715
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,840
Like there's, I think the 
problem is a lot of people fight

716
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:25,240
that feeling and we do this 
thing where it's like, I don't 

717
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:29,520
want you to know that I'm upset,
but I'm turned on at the same 

718
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,000
time because they conflict. 
Fuck that. 

719
00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:34,920
Like I am who I am. 
And I've always told her like 

720
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,960
this is how I feel like you went
and gave you went and and and 

721
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,880
then we we play this game where 
like even when she goes to 

722
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:50,080
mocha, she at mocha, don't tell 
me everything you did tell me 

723
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:54,400
randomly when we're having sex 
or when you're getting me 

724
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,280
excited. 
And now I'm like, you did what 

725
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:06,480
or you play with who come here. 
I don't have a problem with the 

726
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:13,240
fact that I can be this 
emotional person inside of my 

727
00:38:13,240 --> 00:38:15,080
wife. 
That's why she's my wife. 

728
00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:18,160
Like that's why she's hurt. 
I'm not going to do this with a 

729
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,280
rando. 
I'm not sharing all of these 

730
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,280
emotions and sensations with a 
random woman. 

731
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,960
Now my wife, you get all of me 
you, and I've told her before 

732
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,520
you got it. 
If you want all of me, you sure 

733
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,040
you want all of me because it's 
a lot of me. 

734
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,600
Like I'm this person on this 
day. 

735
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,680
And now she's she's comfortable 
with all of the personality, the

736
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,080
personalities that I am, But 
that's because I'm, I'm wide 

737
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,480
open with it. 
Like, you know, we have this 

738
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:50,120
thing where if I feel a certain 
way about something you did, 

739
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:52,560
that'll mean we won't do it 
again. 

740
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:56,040
But I'm going to tell you and 
it's going to end with me having

741
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,760
my way with you. 
He's going to end with that. 

742
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,880
So, you know, that's why I 
appreciate it that you said that

743
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,880
because so many guys will sit 
there and be like, Oh no, I was 

744
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,480
good. 
I was OK. 

745
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,040
I didn't feel anything. 
No, you. 

746
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,280
But we've seen so many I've. 
Been there. 

747
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,400
But that's what I think too, why
we were talking upstairs earlier

748
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,880
that we a lot of people thought 
like, oh, we didn't have any of 

749
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,160
that him not necessarily because
he was already in lifestyle 

750
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:26,040
before me, But for me, I was a 
little bat shit crazy like 

751
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:31,160
plenty of times because there 
were a few times it was not good

752
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:35,320
and I'm glad no one ever saw. 
But there were a few times that 

753
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,000
I definitely I was more like the
insecure one, but I was also the

754
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,360
way less experienced so. 
That's what the question then 

755
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,800
becomes, how do you get to a 
point in your relationship, and 

756
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,320
not just for you, but for 
couples out there, how do you 

757
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,280
get to a point in your 
relationship where you're able 

758
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,320
to accept the fact that you're 
partners with another person? 

759
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:57,080
That from whether you Mr. Mocha,
your perspective or her being 

760
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,000
with other people, how are you 
able to accept that? 

761
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:03,600
And Mr. Mocha, how are you able 
to accept him being with other 

762
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:08,080
people? 
Let's be 1000% honest here, for 

763
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:14,160
a long time it was not OK. 
But I just like you have this is

764
00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:17,080
a terrible example, but just 
like you go to a new job, you're

765
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,200
uncomfortable the first day. 
You don't really want to talk to

766
00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:22,800
people no matter what you have 
to do. 

767
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:27,640
You don't want to go present 
some PowerPoint to billionaires 

768
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:31,240
at your job. 
Like I had to push my own 

769
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:34,080
boundaries. 
So but I was willing to push my 

770
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:37,160
own boundaries because I had to 
sit back and ask myself, well, 

771
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,480
why does this even bother me? 
He comes home to me every day. 

772
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,880
We have a gazillion kids 
together, we have a whole life. 

773
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,560
So what? 
Why am I even worried about 

774
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:52,040
Sally Sue from wherever that he 
fucked one time? 

775
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,920
So I had to really look back and
say why. 

776
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,080
Why was I having a problem? 
Because there was no reason that

777
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,880
I should, because there was. 
He has always been my security 

778
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:05,640
blanket, so it was very easy for
me to do things that there. 

779
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:08,800
And he has never given me a 
reason. 

780
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,080
Even though his directness 
drives me crazy sometimes, I 

781
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,960
can't say that there's a time 
that he lied to me. 

782
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,440
Even like in the very beginning 
of our relationship, I did not 

783
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,320
want to talk to him anymore 
several times. 

784
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:26,200
Sorry, he knows I broke up with 
him a few times. 

785
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:32,240
I'm holding quotation fingers 
up, but I because I fought with 

786
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:35,600
myself about well, why would why
do I even want to do this? 

787
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:40,160
But it was an unfair situation 
because I was out doing whatever

788
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,120
I wanted to do as a single 
person and he was doing the same

789
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,080
thing. 
So what was the difference in US

790
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,600
doing it together? 
But I couldn't justify it, my 

791
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,640
mind. 
So Long story short, I just 

792
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:55,440
pushed a lot of boundaries. 
I made myself push boundaries 

793
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,320
because I care for him and I 
wanted it to work. 

794
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,200
I liked lifestyle too. 
Let's just put that out there. 

795
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,720
I fucking love less lifestyle, 
but how am I going to go get 

796
00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:08,440
gang banged and then get mad 
because he fucked one chick that

797
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,840
has a better body than me? 
That's crazy, you know what I 

798
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,160
mean? 
Like but I just had five dudes 

799
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,000
that were muscled up with big 
Dicks fuck me in a room and he 

800
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,120
was cheering me on again like 
how is that? 

801
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:25,480
There was no balance. 
So I, I did eventually get to 

802
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,520
the point where I just had to 
tell myself I just don't care. 

803
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,160
And that doesn't mean I don't 
care about him. 

804
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,520
I can't care about what he's out
doing because I would constantly

805
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:38,760
like sit at home and think like,
Oh well, what if he's falling in

806
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,880
love with her or he likes her 
like too much. 

807
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,880
And I was like, what in the fuck
is wrong with me? 

808
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,680
Why would I even think that? 
He comes. 

809
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,440
He's there was never a time he 
didn't show me that he didn't 

810
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,760
care. 
When he came home, we would talk

811
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,040
about it. 
We'd be excited. 

812
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,880
He would make sure that I was 
taken care of in every other 

813
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,120
aspect of life, including sex. 
So why was I stressing out? 

814
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,200
I like that. 
That was a long answer, sorry, 

815
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:02,880
no. 
No, no, no. 

816
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,320
Yeah. 
And I need to hear that because 

817
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:10,080
you're making a comment the 
other day about your body's, 

818
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,200
your body. 
What you decide to do with it is

819
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:17,720
not my, it's not necessarily my 
business, but it is more not 

820
00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:21,200
something I can control. 
And I have to get to the point 

821
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,960
where what you just had to do 
with what you had there is what 

822
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,280
you just had to do. 
Yeah. 

823
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,600
And I think the point was more 
about my sexuality and how I 

824
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:32,480
express it is mine, right? 
And that means I do choose to 

825
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,800
share it with you and I should 
be able to choose to do it in 

826
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,640
other ways. 
But it's something that is 

827
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,920
negotiated. 
I don't, you know, when you're 

828
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,280
in a relationship, we have to 
negotiate where those boundaries

829
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:42,760
are and how we push those 
boundaries. 

830
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,760
And, and I do believe that 
sometimes we have to pull back 

831
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,480
and kind of go at the slower 
pace of whoever is a little more

832
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,240
resistant. 
Right I. 

833
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:54,120
Think you push too fast and you 
if you want your partner to be 

834
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,600
happy about something, you have 
to meet them where they are. 

835
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,800
Yep, agreed. 
And he and Mr. Barker did that 

836
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:03,840
every step. 
It is it's interesting to to 

837
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,680
talk to you guys because you 
guys are almost the opposite of 

838
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,760
us and. 
That's why she put us across 

839
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,200
from each other. 
Misses Mocha had to be 

840
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:19,960
restricted for a long time, and 
when you live under restrictions

841
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,360
it takes you a long time to 
remove that wiring. 

842
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:32,920
However, once that wiring come 
apart, you meaning the person 

843
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:40,320
who's open has to make an 
adjustment because you have 

844
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:44,320
years, she had years of 
conditioning and when you know, 

845
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,600
I'm a boundary pusher, I'm very 
much a boundary pusher. 

846
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,960
So I pushed her boundaries, I 
pushed her boundaries, I pushed 

847
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:59,760
her boundaries, yes. 
But then also for me, it's my 

848
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:05,080
battle is always internal. 
My fear is always when I brought

849
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:08,920
her into the lifestyle because 
of my experience with other with

850
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:14,560
couples before her and I were 
together, I didn't want to be 

851
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:21,360
that guy who restricted her. 
Now on the other side of that, I

852
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,480
would always put her like, I'm 
going to make you feel what I 

853
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:31,520
feel. 
So one of the, the first things 

854
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:36,280
that I exposed her to was, you 
know, the first female we played

855
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:42,440
with was one of my exes and she 
got very uncomfortable watching 

856
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:46,160
me and her. 
And I did that intentionally 

857
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:53,120
because at the end of the day, I
wanted her to know she's the 

858
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,160
past. 
You're the present in the 

859
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:59,200
future. 
Nothing can interrupt that and 

860
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:04,600
my mentality is because I I 
spent years of my life having 

861
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:10,560
access to excess. 
When I chose her, I told her up 

862
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,160
front, I have to you. 
You have to experience the 

863
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,200
things I've experienced because 
you won't understand me 

864
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:19,680
otherwise. 
I've had years of excess and so 

865
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:24,360
I spent a long time putting her 
out there. 

866
00:46:24,720 --> 00:46:27,080
OK, tell me what your fantasies 
are. 

867
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:30,720
Tell me what your desires are. 
I want you to experience these 

868
00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:33,400
things. 
And for her, you know, I, I say 

869
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:38,040
this thing and you know, ladies 
may disagree with me, but a 

870
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,120
woman can always have more sex 
than a man. 

871
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:45,400
Always. 
But in most situations, that 

872
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:51,720
shit don't count because usually
if I've had sex with 20 women 

873
00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:57,520
and you've had sex with 100 men,
98 of those men's, you did it 

874
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,800
for validation. 
You didn't do it for the 

875
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,160
pleasure of it as a man, I did 
it for the pleasure of it. 

876
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,760
When I met her, a lot of her sex
was validation based. 

877
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,760
I stripped all of that shit 
down. 

878
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:14,360
When you play, you play because 
that's what you want, because 

879
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,000
that's when you experience 
power. 

880
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,240
You can't understand me until 
you can have sex with a person 

881
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:22,680
for the simple fact that you 
want to fuck that person. 

882
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:27,560
So I don't care how many Dicks 
you had, they don't count. 

883
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,520
I, I, I'm still out. 
I'm still out out doing a lot. 

884
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,200
Of them didn't count because 
they were no good. 

885
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,720
Yeah, and and and here's the 
thing, most of them were 

886
00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:43,960
validation based once we reset 
her mindset on you can go and 

887
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:47,240
have sex for pleasure and come 
home to a person that loves you.

888
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,960
I'm not judging you. 
And while we're breaking down 

889
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:54,960
all of those boundaries, we're 
breaking down those boundaries 

890
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,040
and I'm like, look, let go, let 
go, let go. 

891
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,640
We get a couple years into our 
relationship. 

892
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,160
She'd never let go, let go, let 
go. 

893
00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:07,600
So the day she finally let go, 
I'm watching her let go. 

894
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,160
And I was like who, who, who? 
I kind of felt who. 

895
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,840
I don't know if I like the way 
that feels. 

896
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:18,920
And I remember I, I came home 
her and her friend was playing 

897
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,520
with the guy who she to this day
she enjoys playing with. 

898
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,440
And I know she enjoyed playing 
with that guy. 

899
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,280
And she was just drunk enough 
that day. 

900
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:32,600
And I actually got home early 
and I snuck in, came upstairs. 

901
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,240
And I've seen her play 1000 
times. 

902
00:48:34,240 --> 00:48:37,760
Never had any feet, never, never
felt weird. 

903
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,400
I cracked the door open and I'm 
watching her and. 

904
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,880
I told him I missed this Dick. 
That's the first time I never 

905
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,200
said that to him. 
She's talking to this guy dirty.

906
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,560
I miss you. 
I miss your fucking Dick. 

907
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:53,000
It's so good. 
And I remember and his thing. 

908
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:56,920
They call this dude Tripod. 
This Listen, I'm happy they call

909
00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:00,560
him baby. 
Like I have a respectable Dick. 

910
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:05,640
This son bitch is about 100 lbs 
and the other 40 lbs is Dick. 

911
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,480
Like this dude. 
His Dick is massive. 

912
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:13,920
And I'm watching through the 
door and I remember for the 

913
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,440
first time in my life feeling a 
little insecurity, feeling a 

914
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:20,040
little jealousy. 
And I quietly closed door. 

915
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,040
I walked down the stairs and sat
down and I had that conversation

916
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,920
with myself. 
This is the person that you 

917
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,240
made. 
You've told her that you want 

918
00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:31,960
her to be free. 
You told her one of you want her

919
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:35,080
to experience this. 
So don't be a fucking bitch, all

920
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,400
right? 
If this is who you are, you 

921
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:40,360
going to be that guy. 
So get your shit together. 

922
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,880
And I remember having that 
internal battle with myself. 

923
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:47,360
And here's the thing, I will. 
I don't like to lose. 

924
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,680
And for me, it's all internal, 
it's all emotional. 

925
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:56,280
And I am stronger. 
My job as the, in my opinion, my

926
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,840
job as a head of my household is
to be the strongest emotionally.

927
00:50:00,720 --> 00:50:03,800
I put her into this position, I 
brought her into the lifestyle. 

928
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:07,360
I told her I was OK with this. 
And now I've been telling her 

929
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:11,400
for the last few years, let go, 
let go, enjoy yourself. 

930
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,480
She finally does it and I'm 
sitting at the bottom of the 

931
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:18,120
stairs feeling some kind of way.
I got my shit together, went 

932
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:22,560
back upstairs, breathe. 
And then I told her because I 

933
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:23,360
don't want to lie to her. 
You. 

934
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:24,800
Told me the next. 
Day, I told her. 

935
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,360
The next day I want to go fuck 
up her good time. 

936
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:31,520
I felt because I watched her 
deal with her insecurity 

937
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,600
struggle battle and she's 
looking at me like you never 

938
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:38,520
feel bad about what I do. 
I owe it to her to tell her 

939
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:41,320
look, I felt some kind of way. 
I felt jealous. 

940
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:46,120
I felt insecure, but I don't 
want you not to do that. 

941
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,200
I owe this to you to tell you. 
And she's like, oh, I'm so 

942
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,080
sorry. 
No, no, no, no, no, no, don't 

943
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,840
apologize. 
That's what I want you to do. 

944
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:58,360
But I had to tell you that I 
experienced this. 

945
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,720
I'm not telling you this for you
not to do it. 

946
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,080
I'm not telling you this to be a
for a guilt trip. 

947
00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:08,440
I have to let you know that this
feel and This is why I went 

948
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:12,040
Captain Caveman on your pussy 
last night, because I got to 

949
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,960
reclaim myself. 
You know what I'm saying? 

950
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:19,360
And that made our like that was 
a huge turning point in our 

951
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:23,120
relationship when I finally 
experienced that feeling that 

952
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,800
she had been feeling for at that
point. 

953
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:29,120
What? 
They've been a few years at that

954
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,480
point. 
We just got married. 

955
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,000
But we have been together for 
how long? 

956
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,080
But. 
We did. 

957
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:38,120
Yeah, yeah, we had just got 
married, but we've been together

958
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,960
from yeah like for like 5455 
years. 

959
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,320
At that point, so Mr. Moga, what
you're saying and thanks for 

960
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,640
sharing your story because we 
see you may come across that 

961
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,920
quite line in your business as a
sex therapist. 

962
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:53,400
You can be open, You can be 
completely open. 

963
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:57,440
Be understanding and still 
sometime during the process feel

964
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:00,560
jealousy and insecurity. 
They are normal responses. 

965
00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:03,800
I like what you said. 
You went downstairs, you had a 

966
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:06,680
conversation with yourself and 
you were able to process and 

967
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:10,280
then you've processed it more 
with her the next day. 

968
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:12,800
You're not trying to change her,
You're not trying to make her 

969
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,960
feel bad about it. 
But the reality is, even in 

970
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:19,000
these situations where we 
understand what we're doing, we 

971
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:24,200
still can find ourselves falling
prey to the that that just 

972
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,520
jealousy, insecurity. 
And that's, that's great that 

973
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,200
you're able to recognize that 
and have a conversation about it

974
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:33,080
and move forward because it for 
people out there that are 

975
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:34,960
listening, thinking that you're 
never going to have these 

976
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:39,040
feelings. 
If not going to work, you're 

977
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,000
going to be shocked, you're 
going to be confused. 

978
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,160
You're going to we don't we're 
not going to do this anymore. 

979
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,480
We're out of the lifestyle as 
opposed to recognizing it can 

980
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,720
happen. 
Backing up, having a 

981
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:51,920
conversation with yourself, not 
getting violent, not getting 

982
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:55,400
destructive, not getting 
demeaning, not stopping the fun 

983
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,120
if that's what you're saying. 
Kicking the door in. 

984
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,160
He did get too big come off of 
it, but dealing with it 

985
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,560
internally and then the next day
processing with your house, I 

986
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,200
think that was wonderful. 
Wonderful. 

987
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,200
I think some go ahead. 
Well, and I was going to say, I 

988
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:10,120
think we can relate to that as 
well. 

989
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:14,160
Again, kind of the flip side of 
that, he often asks me, he says 

990
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,680
you just don't get jealous, do 
you? 

991
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:18,920
I'm like, no, no, I feel 
jealousy like, I feel jealousy 

992
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,000
just like anybody else does. 
But he's like, no, nothing seems

993
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,480
to make you jealous. 
I'm like, you haven't, I haven't

994
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:27,880
been challenged yet, right, with
the right circumstances or 

995
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,760
whatever it is, I haven't been 
challenged. 

996
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,600
But there has been a couple 
occasions. 

997
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:33,560
One of them didn't even have to 
do with sex. 

998
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:38,080
It had to do with really kind of
an ex that he has, you know, 

999
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,200
kind of in between relationships
go back to as well. 

1000
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:46,240
This woman was like, Hey, let's 
let's go on vacation, right? 

1001
00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:48,360
I want to take you on vacation, 
but tell your wife because she 

1002
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:50,240
doesn't really understand open 
concept. 

1003
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:53,120
So she's like she said, well, 
tell your wife that you're 

1004
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,200
taking a business trip or 
whatever, you know. 

1005
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,880
And I was like, yeah, no, no, 
that's that's where I don't like

1006
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,560
that. 
And the travel is my love 

1007
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:03,840
language. 
And so I'm like, no, you aren't 

1008
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,120
traveling with me until I get my
need met. 

1009
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,360
So with travel, it's a no. 
Like I couldn't, I couldn't get 

1010
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:10,400
there. 
And then I felt so bad for 

1011
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:11,840
standing in his way of some 
adventure. 

1012
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,480
But I thought, I'm so 
uncomfortable. 

1013
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:14,880
I need some help. 
I need some help. 

1014
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:16,640
So that made me jealous. 
And it's weird. 

1015
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:20,120
It didn't have to do with sex. 
It had to do with time or 

1016
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,880
something I wasn't getting 
right, I wasn't getting enough 

1017
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:24,840
of. 
So we had to talk through that. 

1018
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:28,080
And then there was one other 
time that I was like, yes, go do

1019
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:29,720
it. 
And I'm like, whoa, what did I 

1020
00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:31,520
just do? 
What did I just do? 

1021
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,800
I think what you're not telling 
the audience is I didn't go, so 

1022
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,440
you actually stopped me from 
doing something I want to do 

1023
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,120
now. 
You didn't really want to do it 

1024
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:42,560
to be. 
Honest, I did want to fuck her. 

1025
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,520
I did. 
I did you. 

1026
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:48,440
Said she was too old. 
He said that for you. 

1027
00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:52,720
He said that for you. 
We we say stuff. 

1028
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:54,360
Let me tell you something as a 
dude. 

1029
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:56,320
Oh, sorry. 
Now what I was going to say was 

1030
00:54:56,320 --> 00:55:00,680
that I didn't go fuck her 
because of how it made you feel.

1031
00:55:01,240 --> 00:55:03,560
There are times when that's. 
Not what I was worried about 

1032
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:05,440
though. 
But that's what I was worried 

1033
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:10,080
about. 
Pussy, if I can use that word. 

1034
00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:13,320
Yeah, go ahead, use any word. 
It is not as important as our 

1035
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:17,200
relationship. 
So I can always get more pussy, 

1036
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,240
but I can't replace the 
relationship that you've given 

1037
00:55:20,240 --> 00:55:22,760
me. 
So I didn't go the direction you

1038
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,640
wanted me to go. 
She made you feel insecure. 

1039
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,480
She wanted me to go on vacation 
in Europe with her and it'd be a

1040
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,000
lot of fucking. 
That's what she wants me for. 

1041
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,040
And I got it. 
But you weren't good with it and

1042
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,760
I I backed off of it. 
And that's, and I say that 

1043
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,080
because sometimes the 
relationships, you have to do 

1044
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,400
what's important to the 
relationship, unless you don't 

1045
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,760
throw that card up too much, if 
you don't throw in, hey, this is

1046
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:45,200
my card. 
I don't want you to go there. 

1047
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:47,720
That's something you have to 
deal with your lifestyle. 

1048
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:50,800
When, when the other person says
this particular person you're 

1049
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,840
with is making me feel insecure,
making I'm not sad. 

1050
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,040
I don't like the scenario you're
about to get involved in. 

1051
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:58,200
Do you really have the power to 
say no? 

1052
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,640
We've said yes because the 
relationship is the most 

1053
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,480
important component here, not 
the sex with other people. 

1054
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:08,560
Now, I didn't go because it made
you feel bad, but I wanted to go

1055
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,440
have sex with her just for you 
to know that I think you know 

1056
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:14,120
her already. 
But you're more important than 

1057
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:15,960
pussy. 
Your pussy is more important 

1058
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,320
than any pussy. 
You're more important than 

1059
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:20,320
pussy. 
I think sometimes too though 

1060
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:24,200
people go through like 
insecurities and jealousy or 

1061
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:27,160
whatever you want to call it 
because of something else 

1062
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:30,680
underlying. 
I don't think it's actual it for

1063
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:35,800
for me specifically. 
I know that there were times 

1064
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,520
where we would just lifestyle 
and go and go and go and go or 

1065
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,600
we were just lifestyling and 
working and kids and life. 

1066
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:44,440
And I realized it wasn't me 
actually being jealous of him 

1067
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,680
fucking someone. 
It was me being jealous because 

1068
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:48,840
I wanted some quality time with 
him. 

1069
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:52,600
We could sit home for a whole 
weekend and not have sex and 

1070
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,320
watch Netflix and a whole I need
that stuff. 

1071
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:59,480
But for a long time I didn't 
realize I need that stuff and my

1072
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:04,960
few freak outs, we'll say 1 
handful of freak outs where I 

1073
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:09,160
realized that I had to come back
and look at what what did I 

1074
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:11,760
actually need because I didn't 
need sex from him. 

1075
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,920
He gives me that all the time. 
But it was because we were just 

1076
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,600
robots. 
We were, I was getting out, 

1077
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,400
going to work, he was going to 
work, I was doing kids stuff and

1078
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,560
taking the kids here. 
He was coming home, we were 

1079
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,520
having sex and going to bed. 
But there was no real like 

1080
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,560
quality time. 
So I think a lot of times people

1081
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:32,040
need to step back and say, was 
there another issue before this 

1082
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:33,160
even happened? 
Because. 

1083
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:37,360
It can be the. 
Sex, it can be the sex for sure,

1084
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:40,880
but it could be you're just 
lacking something and you're at 

1085
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:43,000
home that you didn't know that 
you have. 

1086
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:47,520
Because there are a few people 
we know too, that they get a 

1087
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:52,120
different sensation from Joe 
Blow and they think, oh, I'm in 

1088
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,160
love with this person. 
But no, you're really just 

1089
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,000
trying to replace what you're 
not getting at home instead of 

1090
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,200
talking about what? 
You're not. 

1091
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,120
That's a whole other problem to 
talk about. 

1092
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:04,560
Being a lifestyle is about sex. 
It's about fun. 

1093
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:07,360
It's about connecting. 
It should never. 

1094
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:08,600
I mean, I shouldn't say that 
word. 

1095
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,480
It's not about replacing your 
spouse. 

1096
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,320
Yeah. 
It's never about that. 

1097
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:18,040
So if you're missing something 
in your relationship, it's 

1098
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:22,040
important that you take the time
to find out what that is because

1099
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,040
you're not going to get out 
there in the lifestyle, You're 

1100
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,320
not going to get into the 
lifestyle. 

1101
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,280
You're going to get Dick, you're
going to get pushy, you're going

1102
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:30,000
to get that connection. 
But what you have with your 

1103
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:34,120
spouse, if there's a problem, 
got to focus on that before that

1104
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,440
lifetime. 
Not going to make it better in 

1105
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:38,280
some cases in a lot of. 
Cases, it's gonna make it worse,

1106
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:40,680
always gonna make it worse. 
And tear a hole in that 

1107
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,560
relationship. 
Well, it's gonna magnify the 

1108
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:45,000
issues that you already had. 
Yeah, you. 

1109
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:48,240
Already had communication 
issues, you already had quality 

1110
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:51,040
time issues, you already had the
difference of values of a 

1111
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,160
relationship. 
You've already have that. 

1112
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,120
It's just that lifestyle 
openness Poly will magnify it 

1113
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,760
so. 
By, I mean by leaps and bounds. 

1114
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:04,480
And it's interesting, like I 
will circle back to something 

1115
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:07,600
that that he was saying before, 
which is one of the things that 

1116
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:13,920
we went through where we had a 
long period because I do firmly 

1117
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:19,600
believe that. 
And I did believe that it was my

1118
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:24,640
job first. 
It was my job first to make sure

1119
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:33,640
that I allowed her to experience
all of the things, all the 

1120
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:36,480
things that I want her to 
experience, right. 

1121
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:41,600
So that was kind of my thing 
where I want her to experience 

1122
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,040
at first. 
I've already been the lifestyle.

1123
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:49,200
So I want you tell me all your 
fantasies, you know, I want to 

1124
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:52,960
make sure, you know, she had all
of these wild crazy fantasies 

1125
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,360
and I made sure she had them 
all. 

1126
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:57,520
So we spent a couple years where
a lot of our relationship was 

1127
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,880
focused on her enjoying herself 
now. 

1128
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:15,720
We got to the point where I had 
got so accustomed to making sure

1129
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:18,600
that I was hyper vigilant of how
she felt. 

1130
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,400
So I'm going to make sure she's 
playing and having a good time. 

1131
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:22,880
And I was like, you know 
something? 

1132
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,400
The second she's upset about 
something or she feels 

1133
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:27,840
uncomfortable, I'm not going to 
do it. 

1134
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,200
And you know, we went a long 
time where I wouldn't. 

1135
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:32,920
I just like, you know, 
something, I don't want to do 

1136
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,160
it. 
There's a joke amongst lifestyle

1137
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:40,720
men where it's like we all know 
this thing where you go into a 

1138
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,960
club and the woman that you 
really want to play with, don't 

1139
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:45,840
look at her. 
Don't look at her. 

1140
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:49,000
Completely ignore her. 
Do not look at her. 

1141
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:53,440
Look at everybody but her 
because if you want to play with

1142
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:55,640
her, if your wife decides it's 
OK. 

1143
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:57,680
And that's kind of a thing that 
we have. 

1144
01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:01,120
So it's it's, it's really and 
it's universal. 

1145
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,440
We men within lifestyle know 
that. 

1146
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:08,160
Excuse me, the guys in the 
lifestyle who want to make sure 

1147
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:13,240
their wife is good know that. 
But there's this transition 

1148
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:20,080
that's necessary in my opinion. 
Where you go from allowing your 

1149
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,720
wife to experience that? 
Because the problem is, I mean, 

1150
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:26,840
no matter what, you know, even 
even when you introduced a guy 

1151
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:30,560
to the lifestyle, you're still a
woman in this world. 

1152
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:35,760
And you still have to when you 
decide that you're going to take

1153
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:39,640
this man as your mate, even if 
you were in a lifestyle, you 

1154
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:43,320
still have to to ask yourself, 
is he going to love me if I go 

1155
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,840
and play? 
Is he going to be able to handle

1156
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:49,000
me going out and playing with 
someone else and enjoying 

1157
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,000
myself? 
Because most men have a hard 

1158
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:55,480
time still loving them. 
And once that guy proves it, 

1159
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:58,400
because no matter what, you 
know, that's one thing like I 

1160
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:03,520
you, you pass my dude test where
you came in and said, look, I 

1161
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:07,400
felt a certain kind of way. 
The next step in it and the step

1162
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:10,040
that I took with her is I'm 
going to make her uncomfortable 

1163
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:16,680
because he will understand this 
and I might have put him in an 

1164
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:18,200
awkward position. 
Oh God. 

1165
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:20,560
This is what I do. 
I'm going to put him in awkward 

1166
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:23,240
position. 
He has been in that position 

1167
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:26,920
where as a husband, he's 
pretended he didn't like 

1168
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,960
somebody or he's pretended he 
didn't want to do something. 

1169
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:34,720
Because at the end of the day, 
I've lived enough life to know 

1170
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:37,840
that I finally met the woman 
that I plan on dying with. 

1171
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:42,520
Like, and that's the part where 
most women don't understand. 

1172
01:02:43,040 --> 01:02:46,680
I finally met the woman that I'm
going to die with. 

1173
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:52,200
And even if I want to fuck all 
of those women out there, I'll 

1174
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:57,040
keep my fucking mouth shut. 
If I'm afraid, I am going to 

1175
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:58,800
put. 
If I'm afraid that I'm going to 

1176
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:04,520
create a 1% chance that I'm 
going to lose you, am I lying? 

1177
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:05,840
No, no, I like what you're 
saying. 

1178
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:07,640
I appreciate that. 
I think it goes both. 

1179
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:11,480
Ways it's it does, but it does 
100%. 

1180
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:17,560
That if I even when he has said 
go, go have fun, I'm really 

1181
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:19,360
good. 
Trust me what I'm saying, I'm 

1182
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,600
really good. 
And but there's something about 

1183
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,320
it that I know my intuition 
says, I don't think so. 

1184
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:26,640
And it's just not worth it to 
me, right? 

1185
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:29,840
You know, it's just not because 
like you said, it comes around, 

1186
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:32,040
it comes and goes. 
I'm not worried about it be 

1187
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,440
another opportunity. 
This isn't the thing that I'm 

1188
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:37,560
going to, you know, kill our 
relationship or even struggle 

1189
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:38,880
over. 
It's just not worth it. 

1190
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:42,320
We've we've been there. 
And so once you get to that 

1191
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:46,960
place where you create this 
agreement, and this is what she 

1192
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:50,840
taught me, you come into an 
agreement where you say we're 

1193
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:55,080
willing to make each other 
uncomfortable because I got to 

1194
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,560
this place where I'm like, you 
know something? 

1195
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:05,040
Here's the as a dude, the second
I bust a nut, all of my 

1196
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,880
faculties reset and you know who
I want to be next to. 

1197
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,960
I don't care how good that pussy
was, how hot she was. 

1198
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:16,920
This the instant I ejaculate, 
all of a sudden the only person 

1199
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:23,120
I want to be next to is my wife.
Like there is a different with 

1200
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:27,760
most women, most women after 
they've had sex, they're closer 

1201
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:34,960
to that guy as a dude. 
This the instant sex is over, 

1202
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,600
all of the stuff that I had 
created about this woman, this 

1203
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:43,160
fantasy woman is now gone. 
Like I want to be back with her.

1204
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:46,440
So it's it's a weird sensation 
for us as dudes. 

1205
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:51,600
And then we we get that fear 
like wait like we're supposed to

1206
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,360
be tough, we're supposed to be 
masculine. 

1207
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:57,280
But the only person I'm afraid 
of in this world is her. 

1208
01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:01,960
The only person I don't want to 
upset is her. 

1209
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:06,760
My kids. 
I love my kids but I don't give 

1210
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:10,400
a shit if they mad at me. 
I love my parents, I love my 

1211
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:13,600
family. 
The only person that literally 

1212
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:18,000
gives me anxiety when I don't 
know if she's mad at me is her. 

1213
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:23,120
SO I will get frustrated. 
We have argued like she don't 

1214
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:25,440
even know that I started an 
argument because I was mad 

1215
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,640
because I really wanted to go 
fuck this chick that you didn't 

1216
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,480
really want me to fuck. 
But I turned that pussy down 

1217
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,080
because I didn't want to make 
you mad. 

1218
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:34,640
And now I'm yelling at you over 
a pack of a pack of potato 

1219
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:36,080
chips. 
I've been that guy. 

1220
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:41,200
Yeah, I've been that guy, I'm 
not going to lie. 

1221
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:43,960
And we finally got to the place 
where I could just like, like, 

1222
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:45,640
look. 
She made me agree. 

1223
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:48,600
Like Daddy? 
But let's just Fast forward a 

1224
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:52,640
lot. 
It's me, like almost, I'll be 

1225
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:56,520
honest, 11 years to get come. 
Like I've always been good. 

1226
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,720
I don't show any like, emotion 
in public. 

1227
01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,000
I don't try to be dramatic. 
I don't. 

1228
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:05,440
This is not my style. 
If I'm upset, I have the 

1229
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:08,760
patience to wait until we're 
done with a whole event if I 

1230
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:10,800
have to. 
But we're going to talk about it

1231
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,480
later. 
But I'm not going to like, he 

1232
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:15,240
said. 
I don't want to ruin his good 

1233
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:16,320
time ever. 
I. 

1234
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:18,080
Want you to scenes I don't like 
doing. 

1235
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:22,000
Scenes, same, same. 
So I want to make sure, of 

1236
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:25,400
course, he has a good time and 
I'll wait three or four days 

1237
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:31,080
until an event is over before I 
say something because I used to 

1238
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:35,120
have really emotional responses 
and I realized as I got older, I

1239
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:38,640
can't take those words back. 
And he will hold on to every 

1240
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:43,240
fucking word that I say and 
dissect it and then over 

1241
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:47,160
evaluate it and then make some 
logic out of at what I had to go

1242
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:49,080
back and say was I was 
emotional. 

1243
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:50,920
I I wasn't meaning all that 
stuff. 

1244
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:56,320
So I will hold off on life 
before I have a response. 

1245
01:06:56,320 --> 01:07:03,760
But we it took me getting 
extremely sick for a few years 

1246
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:08,840
for me just to say, daddy, 
please go do whatever you want 

1247
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:11,360
to do. 
I don't care what you do. 

1248
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,080
I don't just don't fall in love 
with somebody else. 

1249
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,640
I don't care. 
Just don't tell me about it 

1250
01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:19,000
right now. 
I'm trying to get through what 

1251
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,680
everything that we got going on 
here. 

1252
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:22,960
I know you love me. 
You take care of me after every 

1253
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:27,440
surgery like regardless of that 
you are you are emotionally 

1254
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:29,600
supporting me and I can't have 
sex right now. 

1255
01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:33,240
A bunch of sex. 
Please go do he says to me. 

1256
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:35,560
I can't. 
That's not really what you want.

1257
01:07:35,560 --> 01:07:37,600
And I'm like, who are you 
telling? 

1258
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:40,640
I'm telling you that I'm pushing
a boundary for myself. 

1259
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,560
If you need a girlfriend, and 
I've never said that said that 

1260
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:46,400
in our relationship. 
I know emotionally you need 

1261
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:49,760
someone else other than me right
now because I'm an emotional 

1262
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:53,560
like shutdown because you know, 
you know, you're when you're 

1263
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:58,400
sick to for years, it's it gets 
taxing on you and I'm feeling 

1264
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:01,000
like I'm making him sad. 
You know, negativity is a virus 

1265
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,240
and I hated that. 
So I was just like, and I 

1266
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,880
promise you I'm OK. 
And he kept saying, oh, no, oh, 

1267
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:08,760
no, you're, you're I don't want 
to do anything. 

1268
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:11,080
And I'm looking at him like, I 
know you fucking want to do 

1269
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:12,680
something. 
Oh, no, I'll be OK. 

1270
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:15,640
Finally. 
I was like, Daddy, please give 

1271
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,479
me this, OK? 
Give me this. 

1272
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:22,479
I want you to have a good time. 
I want you to do what is fun for

1273
01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:24,000
you. 
I just don't want to know The 

1274
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:28,040
Dirty details right now. 
Go to parties by yourself, go to

1275
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:31,600
hotel events without me. 
I don't care. 

1276
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,960
I legit don't care. 
And finally, I don't know, like 

1277
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,479
2021 he finally started like 
doing stuff. 

1278
01:08:38,479 --> 01:08:43,560
Did he go girl get a girlfriend?
No, but he had more frequent 

1279
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:45,840
regulars. 
He had one that he spoke to on 

1280
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:49,560
the phone daily or whatever. 
And I feel like that was a huge 

1281
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,160
transition. 
And it did take me like just not

1282
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:54,279
caring. 
Like I said, I'm holding 

1283
01:08:54,279 --> 01:08:57,920
quotation fingers up like people
can see them, but it took me 

1284
01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:00,520
completely just not caring 
because I couldn't care. 

1285
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:04,120
And again, I care about him. 
I just didn't care about what he

1286
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:06,520
was doing. 
Yeah, like I and I, again, I 

1287
01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:09,760
didn't want to know the details 
because I just want you to have 

1288
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:14,720
a good time. 
Because he was, he was one of us

1289
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:17,319
has to be happy and it had to be
him. 

1290
01:09:17,319 --> 01:09:20,319
At that time. 
I was sad for other things, not 

1291
01:09:20,319 --> 01:09:22,080
because he wasn't doing 
something right. 

1292
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:23,319
So. 
Exactly. 

1293
01:09:23,359 --> 01:09:26,200
Yeah, exactly. 
And I think sometimes we do take

1294
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:29,720
turns like that. 
And I think it's such AI mean, I

1295
01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:32,600
think it I can even enhance the 
relationship, especially it does

1296
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:37,160
to see that I can't show up for 
you right now in this way. 

1297
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:41,359
And I know how important it is. 
So, and we do this with 

1298
01:09:41,399 --> 01:09:43,960
everything else in life pretty 
much, or we do this with a lot 

1299
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,160
of other aspects of our 
relationship, but for whatever 

1300
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:48,720
reason we're scared to do that 
about sex. 

1301
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:51,240
Yeah. 
You know, so it's like, hey, I 

1302
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:53,399
can't really go out with you 
because I'm feeling sick, but go

1303
01:09:53,399 --> 01:09:54,800
out with your friends. 
Go out with your buddies. 

1304
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,520
That's OK, right? 
Or go do these activities that I

1305
01:09:57,520 --> 01:09:58,840
normally wouldn't get to go do 
with you. 

1306
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,360
But sex is something that we 
hold at a different standard. 

1307
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:05,400
So I think that that's really 
amazing when we can get there. 

1308
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:11,320
I couldn't have sex and I am 
literally a devil with all I 

1309
01:10:11,320 --> 01:10:13,080
need. 
I tell people all I really need 

1310
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:16,080
to live is like water, some 
Celsius and some penis. 

1311
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:17,520
Like I don't even really need 
food. 

1312
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:21,640
And he's sort of like, I'm just 
like, oh, you know, I'm fine. 

1313
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:24,840
I'm fine. 
But I knew that I was grumpy. 

1314
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:28,720
I knew that he was dealing with 
all of my emotions, plus taking 

1315
01:10:28,720 --> 01:10:32,320
me to surgeries every three 
weeks or whatever it was. 

1316
01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:37,760
So I knew he needed other 
emotional support other than me.

1317
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:42,680
And before she got sick, like 
it's weird, like before she got 

1318
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:46,920
sick, she, she always played a 
lot more than I did. 

1319
01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:50,000
She's this as a woman, you can 
always get more Dick. 

1320
01:10:50,280 --> 01:10:53,520
Like if we both say, look, we're
going to play as much as we can,

1321
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:56,400
a woman's always going to get 
more than a guy. 

1322
01:10:56,400 --> 01:10:57,840
Like you're always going to get 
more. 

1323
01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:03,640
So she went from playing like 
having a consistent stable, 

1324
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:09,360
consistent stable of guys, which
she had a consistent stable of 

1325
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:11,680
guys. 
And, you know, for me, for my 

1326
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:18,560
own sanity often, like, my thing
was that I spoke to the guys. 

1327
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:21,080
I talked to him. 
And, you know, I'm like, we were

1328
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:23,120
comfortable with one another. 
Yeah, I'm comfortable with you 

1329
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,000
playing my wife. 
These are these are her rules, 

1330
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:26,960
her boundaries. 
I mean, I'm her husband. 

1331
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:35,440
And so she went from playing, 
you know, three times a week to 

1332
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:38,480
nothing. 
And not even have the worst. 

1333
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:40,880
And then we couldn't even play. 
Not that we. 

1334
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:44,080
Couldn't even have sex because 
she just physically couldn't. 

1335
01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:47,680
So, you know, she was playing 
with three different guys a 

1336
01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:51,320
week, plus her and I would fuck 
after every time she played with

1337
01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:53,280
somebody else. 
Plus, we were having sex, you 

1338
01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:54,000
know? 
Yeah. 

1339
01:11:54,560 --> 01:12:00,520
We were having date sex 5-6 days
a week, then her having nothing 

1340
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:04,760
and there's I don't give a wish.
She tried to tell y'all. 

1341
01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:07,200
I don't care where she tried to 
tell y'all. 

1342
01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:11,560
She turned to an angry person 
when she went from having a 

1343
01:12:11,560 --> 01:12:15,800
whole lot of sex to none. 
Now don't get me wrong, like I 

1344
01:12:15,800 --> 01:12:18,920
was having sex. 
I was playing, but I'm a dude. 

1345
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:21,840
I I'm never going to get as much
as her. 

1346
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:26,800
And then also, and this is 
something that is, you know, she

1347
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:31,320
always complained about. 
I go from having a woman who 

1348
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:36,920
looks the way I like, fucks the 
way I like, has the energy I 

1349
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:41,960
like. 
So all of a sudden the pool of 

1350
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:44,960
women that I want to play with 
has been reduced. 

1351
01:12:46,360 --> 01:12:52,160
So for me to even be interested 
playing with another woman, 

1352
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:55,120
there's a whole lot of boxes. 
She's got a click and and you 

1353
01:12:55,120 --> 01:13:01,920
know, she get insulted when I 
said it, but in this situation 

1354
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:05,480
you're, you don't have to check 
as many boxes like with the guys

1355
01:13:05,480 --> 01:13:08,920
as I do with the females. 
Because for a guy to be 

1356
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:15,520
satisfied with his woman, it's 
it's you can't even comprehend 

1357
01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:18,880
it when I find a woman that 
checks all my boxes. 

1358
01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:24,600
So she got to this place where 
she was getting grumpy, she was 

1359
01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:27,120
getting uncomfortable. 
And it's like, I'm already 

1360
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:30,600
having a hard time finding 
somebody that I want to want to 

1361
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:32,400
have sex with because I'm having
sex with you. 

1362
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:35,440
You're fucking it up for me. 
But you, you're already fucking 

1363
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:36,800
up. 
And then when I want to have sex

1364
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:38,640
with somebody, you're 
complaining, you're 

1365
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:41,120
uncomfortable with the person 
because you're getting insecure 

1366
01:13:41,120 --> 01:13:44,680
in your head. 
And the second I come, I don't 

1367
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:47,480
even want to be with her 
anyways, you know, so we start 

1368
01:13:47,480 --> 01:13:50,600
having this weird shit where I'm
like, and finally I'm like, 

1369
01:13:50,600 --> 01:13:56,280
look, hey, look at you. 
You had X amount of years of 

1370
01:13:56,280 --> 01:13:58,160
getting as much Dick as you 
want. 

1371
01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:02,680
And you're you're getting upset 
because I want to play. 

1372
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:09,840
And since I've been with you, my
desire, there's not a lot of 

1373
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:11,760
guys like guys. 
There's a lot of guys who talk 

1374
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:13,920
that shit about. 
I don't want to really want to 

1375
01:14:13,920 --> 01:14:15,360
play with many women because of 
my wife. 

1376
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:20,400
No, but like I I know what a 
dude look like when he has a 

1377
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:25,640
wife that like she checked so 
many of my boxes that it's 

1378
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:29,200
harder for me to be interested 
like the the standard is raised.

1379
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:30,920
That's what that's kind of what 
you say. 

1380
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,720
I think as well that you're 
you're pretty particular. 

1381
01:14:34,240 --> 01:14:37,240
Yeah, I mean, here's the deal. 
Finding somebody to fuck isn't 

1382
01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:39,280
difficult. 
That's never been a difficult 

1383
01:14:39,280 --> 01:14:42,080
experience. 
It is finding the right person 

1384
01:14:42,400 --> 01:14:46,120
that I want to be with. 
I'm, I'm a little bit older. 

1385
01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:48,720
I'm, I'm, I'm not going to say 
my age over here, but I, I'm not

1386
01:14:48,720 --> 01:14:51,240
25 anymore. 
Listen man, you good looking 

1387
01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:52,160
dude? 
Say your age. 

1388
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:53,800
Say listen. 
I'm 60. 

1389
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:55,280
You. 
I'm 60. 

1390
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:57,520
Let's see that look on your 
face. 

1391
01:14:57,560 --> 01:14:59,840
I should have told you. 
You should put that shit on your

1392
01:14:59,840 --> 01:15:02,920
shirt. 
Hey, listen, I, I'm, hey, 

1393
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:05,280
everybody know Mr. Mocha speak 
is mine. 

1394
01:15:06,760 --> 01:15:10,720
Wear that on your shirt because 
I'm 47 and I can tell you this 

1395
01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:14,160
when I'm 60, if I'm looking like
you looking with your energy, 

1396
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:15,600
I'm wearing that shit on my 
shirt. 

1397
01:15:15,960 --> 01:15:18,600
Maybe I should take that advice.
Yeah, Yeah, I have to worry. 

1398
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:22,320
But I'm, I'm very picky about 
who I'm with and and I don't 

1399
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:26,720
have to be with anybody. 
So when I get the right person, 

1400
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:29,560
I'll know it and I'm cool with 
it and you're cool with it. 

1401
01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:32,600
It is what it is. 
Fucking isn't. 

1402
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:34,280
The problem is finding the right
person to fuck. 

1403
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:36,320
Yeah, that right, chemistry and 
all. 

1404
01:15:36,320 --> 01:15:38,480
And, and I, I think both of us 
are like that. 

1405
01:15:38,480 --> 01:15:40,800
You know, it's not about one 
thing or another. 

1406
01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:43,080
It's a combination of things 
like you said, the check boxes, 

1407
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:46,120
right, That there has to be this
chemistry and the, and it goes 

1408
01:15:46,120 --> 01:15:49,120
with all these check boxes. 
You know, I'm, I'm, you know 

1409
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:52,240
what they say sapiosexual, if we
can say that term. 

1410
01:15:52,240 --> 01:15:54,920
It's probably getting overused 
now, but it's an intellectual 

1411
01:15:54,920 --> 01:15:58,120
meeting of the minds, you know, 
that stimulates, and then the 

1412
01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:00,440
other things can catch up too, 
and. 

1413
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:02,200
I thought you told me you want 
man with muscle. 

1414
01:16:02,200 --> 01:16:03,920
That's what I've been told. 
I. 

1415
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:12,760
Said it's a check box. 
Hey, listen, hey, look, man, let

1416
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:15,240
me tell you something. 
I I told these guys all the time

1417
01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:20,200
with my wife. 
I'm always trying to find a guy.

1418
01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:24,440
Look, don't bring what I bring. 
You need to be either younger. 

1419
01:16:25,120 --> 01:16:27,920
You need to be bigger. 
You need to have more energy. 

1420
01:16:28,240 --> 01:16:30,200
You need to make her laugh 
better than I can. 

1421
01:16:32,200 --> 01:16:36,280
I'm at, I'm on the second-half. 
I'm on the second-half of my, 

1422
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:41,120
my, my journey on this planet. 
I need somebody who I can look 

1423
01:16:41,120 --> 01:16:44,920
back and be like when we're 
fucking 85 years old and we're 

1424
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:47,480
talking about all the crazy shit
that we did. 

1425
01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:52,760
I'm no longer, I no longer get 
insecure about the guy she 

1426
01:16:52,760 --> 01:16:55,200
played with. 
Like, you know, her favorite 

1427
01:16:55,200 --> 01:17:06,160
playmate is 6/5 and literally 
me, my dimensions and he's 

1428
01:17:06,160 --> 01:17:08,680
younger than me. 
I don't give a fuck. 

1429
01:17:09,520 --> 01:17:13,760
Like, yeah, there's no, there's 
don't call now fucking tall guy.

1430
01:17:13,760 --> 01:17:20,880
You know who I'm talking about. 
But it's not even like we're 

1431
01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:23,920
we're at that place where 
intimacy is different now, like 

1432
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:26,440
intimate, like we, we always 
have our thing. 

1433
01:17:26,440 --> 01:17:29,960
So but I don't want her playing 
with some dude that's not you. 

1434
01:17:30,640 --> 01:17:32,680
You better give her some. 
I don't give her. 

1435
01:17:32,680 --> 01:17:34,600
I've been fucking her for all of
these years. 

1436
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:39,720
She knows all my moves, so like.
You said before that sex was 

1437
01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:44,520
validation for me early on. 
So now it's I can, I can 

1438
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:48,320
actually have fun having sex and
not stress. 

1439
01:17:48,440 --> 01:17:52,280
And I have sex because I want to
have sex, not because but our 

1440
01:17:52,280 --> 01:17:54,800
intimacy is different. 
But he had to teach me that 

1441
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:58,440
intimacy is not just sex, 
because that that's what it was 

1442
01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:02,960
for me for so many years. 
So the question then becomes, 

1443
01:18:04,040 --> 01:18:08,080
can you have intimacy within the
lifestyle or is intimacy just 

1444
01:18:08,080 --> 01:18:09,960
something that you have with 
your spouse? 

1445
01:18:11,160 --> 01:18:17,840
If I may, I I like having a 
sexual relationship with someone

1446
01:18:18,440 --> 01:18:22,200
that I have a connection with. 
Once again, I can fuck a lot of 

1447
01:18:22,200 --> 01:18:23,840
people. 
That isn't the challenge 

1448
01:18:23,840 --> 01:18:26,200
anymore. 
I want another connection and 

1449
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:30,040
we've talked about this today 
about when the right person 

1450
01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:32,320
comes along and we can I can 
connect with I'm not going to 

1451
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:35,040
fall in love leave you. 
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not 

1452
01:18:35,080 --> 01:18:38,200
chemistry chemistry. 
Chemistry isn't just about Dick 

1453
01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:40,920
and pussy, whatever. 
There's other parts of chemistry

1454
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:44,680
that make your connection 
fulfilling and that's OK. 

1455
01:18:44,960 --> 01:18:47,600
It won't take from our it 
shouldn't take from your 

1456
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:51,880
relationship. 
If, if you, if you know how much

1457
01:18:51,960 --> 01:18:54,160
as I, as I know you, I love you 
and I care about you and I want 

1458
01:18:54,160 --> 01:18:57,520
to be with you. 
But I can walk. 

1459
01:18:57,520 --> 01:18:59,960
I'm not, I'm not trying to be 
arrogant, but I can go somewhere

1460
01:19:00,240 --> 01:19:02,720
and find someone to fuck me and 
I'll just be a fuck. 

1461
01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:04,360
But I I really want something 
more than that. 

1462
01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:06,320
Yeah. 
That's something we've kind of 

1463
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:11,040
really talked about recently 
too, is I, and it may be because

1464
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:13,080
of our age, it could be because 
of. 

1465
01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:16,040
Not your age, Not my age. 
You're right. 

1466
01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:18,200
Explain to me. 
You're pretty good. 

1467
01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:24,000
You're fine anyway. 
But that, that maybe well and it

1468
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,600
also honestly, to be real honest
is our busy lifestyle, right 

1469
01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:31,880
with having a couple of 
businesses and growing those and

1470
01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:34,640
branching off of that as well. 
We're very busy. 

1471
01:19:34,640 --> 01:19:40,360
And so we're, we have to be, 
what's the word, like 

1472
01:19:40,480 --> 01:19:44,680
intentional to even go out to do
anything right now, right? 

1473
01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:47,120
Like it's just a season in our 
life where we're super busy. 

1474
01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:49,760
And I think honestly, y'all, I'm
just going to be real honest and

1475
01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:51,840
I'm lazy. 
I'm really kind of lazy when it 

1476
01:19:51,840 --> 01:19:55,800
comes to like finding Dick. 
You know, I'm not going to go 

1477
01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,440
out there and search. 
I don't really have to search 

1478
01:19:57,440 --> 01:19:59,800
too much, you know, on that 
because I'm a female and it's a 

1479
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:02,600
little easier, but I kind of. 
Like and you're sexy. 

1480
01:20:02,640 --> 01:20:03,560
Oh. 
Thank you. 

1481
01:20:03,560 --> 01:20:05,640
I told her that today after we 
finished it. 

1482
01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:07,680
She's sexy. 
I'm lucky. 

1483
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:13,760
I'm lucky to have you. 
Any who thank you is I I kind of

1484
01:20:13,760 --> 01:20:16,680
like knowing that there's almost
like a Polly situation. 

1485
01:20:16,680 --> 01:20:19,000
I don't, we haven't really 
discussed that entirely, but I 

1486
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:21,080
think that we're both kind of 
leaning in this little more 

1487
01:20:21,440 --> 01:20:26,440
Polly situation where we have 
people that we know and it's and

1488
01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:28,720
it's consistent and we get a lot
out of that, honestly. 

1489
01:20:28,960 --> 01:20:32,920
Yeah, but we don't have anybody 
currently right now or anything.

1490
01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:35,640
But but that's just another 
discussion of how you ebb and 

1491
01:20:35,640 --> 01:20:39,080
flow and grow right on what's 
important, what's of value to 

1492
01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:41,760
you at any given phase of 
relationship. 

1493
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:43,640
Well, baby, we have two kids at 
home. 

1494
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:46,120
One that just left. 
Should probably be back home, 

1495
01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:47,320
yeah. 
He shouldn't be home. 

1496
01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:50,720
Our plate runneth over with our 
domestic requirements and our 

1497
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:54,520
businesses. 
I mean, but I mean, I, that's 

1498
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:56,880
just, that's our journey in the 
lifestyle. 

1499
01:20:57,480 --> 01:21:01,080
It isn't so much the number. 
And that is a good thing because

1500
01:21:01,080 --> 01:21:03,520
sex is fun. 
Sex is enjoyable and you should 

1501
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:05,040
do it as much as you want to do 
it. 

1502
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:10,160
But for us, we are, we have a 
lot of holding up a lot of 

1503
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:11,680
balls. 
We're jugging a lot of balls. 

1504
01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:12,840
I'm not talking about the good 
balls. 

1505
01:21:12,880 --> 01:21:15,600
We're talking about the good 
balls with. 

1506
01:21:15,720 --> 01:21:18,520
Kids and I got a 17 year old 
who's going through school and I

1507
01:21:18,520 --> 01:21:20,360
got I don't go through. 
I got a 22 year old that 

1508
01:21:20,360 --> 01:21:23,360
probably needs to go somewhere 
like a nine show that we need to

1509
01:21:23,360 --> 01:21:24,880
get back in the house to take 
care of. 

1510
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:27,080
We understand. 
So there's a lot of challenges 

1511
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:31,560
and in that we try to operate 
our sexuality right now, just 

1512
01:21:31,640 --> 01:21:33,440
the two of us. 
But trust me. 

1513
01:21:33,440 --> 01:21:36,080
And then we talked about this 
and her and I have discussed it.

1514
01:21:36,520 --> 01:21:38,800
If she meets someone that she 
wants to be with, it's a 

1515
01:21:38,800 --> 01:21:40,360
discussion. 
And then we we have an 

1516
01:21:40,360 --> 01:21:42,280
understanding and we she moves 
on it. 

1517
01:21:42,680 --> 01:21:45,320
Same thing with me. 
And I'm comfortable with that. 

1518
01:21:46,640 --> 01:21:48,760
So for us, you know the concept 
of hold. 

1519
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:54,240
On real quick you are talking to
why am I? 

1520
01:21:54,240 --> 01:21:55,800
I can't hear myself. 
Oh, OK. 

1521
01:21:55,960 --> 01:21:57,640
I was like, sorry about. 
That it's OK. 

1522
01:21:59,480 --> 01:22:02,840
You talked about chemistry and 
like connection for years. 

1523
01:22:02,840 --> 01:22:05,640
I could just fuck and fuck and 
fuck and I would even tell him I

1524
01:22:05,640 --> 01:22:09,040
don't want to talk to the guy. 
Find a guy, bring him over, you 

1525
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,240
can talk to him. 
I'll have sex with him. 

1526
01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:17,800
And that was me for years. 
And as we've gotten further into

1527
01:22:17,800 --> 01:22:20,720
this, the guys that I do have 
like chemistry in connection 

1528
01:22:20,720 --> 01:22:23,040
with, I realized that the sex is
more fun. 

1529
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:27,280
But it's because for me, I need 
you to not be a threat because 

1530
01:22:27,280 --> 01:22:29,160
for years there were guys that 
were. 

1531
01:22:29,800 --> 01:22:34,800
I can't, I don't want to call 
people out, but don't tell me 

1532
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:37,280
you fucking miss me. 
Like, no, I can't do that. 

1533
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:41,320
I can't do emotions. 
So when I say men, when? 

1534
01:22:41,320 --> 01:22:45,040
She say emotions. 
It's that that level of? 

1535
01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:49,520
I don't I'm not threatened by 
you trying to like you're trying

1536
01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:54,520
to take replace him because 
that's I can't say that I have 

1537
01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:57,840
never wanted to replace him with
anyone, but there are some men 

1538
01:22:57,840 --> 01:23:01,400
that try to impose their rules 
on you. 

1539
01:23:01,440 --> 01:23:05,040
Take ownership. 
Yeah, no, you're not doing that.

1540
01:23:05,040 --> 01:23:08,000
I'm good to get home. 
I'm OK so. 

1541
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,560
That wife or husband poaching, 
right? 

1542
01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:14,280
They're trying to poach it feels
like sometimes, and that's a 

1543
01:23:14,320 --> 01:23:15,880
very uncomfortable feeling. 
Right. 

1544
01:23:16,040 --> 01:23:21,920
So all of my regulars, I would 
say now are they're cool with 

1545
01:23:21,920 --> 01:23:25,600
him, which makes it even easier 
for me because they can hang out

1546
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:28,200
with him. 
They can talk, we can all talk. 

1547
01:23:28,480 --> 01:23:31,600
I can come downstairs and fuck 
them and there's no threat. 

1548
01:23:32,320 --> 01:23:37,560
One guy comes over weekly and 
sometimes he's just here to hang

1549
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:40,800
out because he's friends with 
him and he's in the area. 

1550
01:23:41,040 --> 01:23:44,200
He's just here to hang out and 
sometimes he bends me over the 

1551
01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:49,920
sink and fucks me in the kitchen
accidentally accidentally. 

1552
01:23:50,760 --> 01:23:53,800
But as soon as we're done it's 
back to the same thing. 

1553
01:23:53,800 --> 01:23:57,640
Like, he's my friend, He talks 
to me, he talks to him like. 

1554
01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:02,400
And this is this is intimacy to 
to me, intimacy is very simple. 

1555
01:24:04,160 --> 01:24:10,000
If you have something with 
another person and your 

1556
01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:13,680
significant other is left out of
the loop, you're intimate with 

1557
01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:16,040
that person. 
I don't give you can have a 

1558
01:24:16,040 --> 01:24:19,200
connection with that person you 
because you're going to think 

1559
01:24:19,200 --> 01:24:23,440
it's going to be look, it's she 
has guys who she talks to about 

1560
01:24:23,440 --> 01:24:24,600
shit that I don't want to talk 
about. 

1561
01:24:25,120 --> 01:24:28,160
I guess y'all have a 
conversation. 

1562
01:24:28,160 --> 01:24:30,400
I don't like. 
Thank you for talking because I 

1563
01:24:30,400 --> 01:24:31,480
don't want to talk about that 
shit. 

1564
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:37,520
That's not what interests me. 
Intimacy is I'm always in the 

1565
01:24:37,520 --> 01:24:40,200
loop. 
The second I'm cut out of the 

1566
01:24:40,200 --> 01:24:42,680
loop, then you're being intimate
with him. 

1567
01:24:43,480 --> 01:24:46,360
That's my problem. 
You could. 

1568
01:24:46,840 --> 01:24:50,720
I want you to have a connection.
I want you to have a connection.

1569
01:24:51,040 --> 01:24:54,680
I love the look on my wife's 
face when she's like when I walk

1570
01:24:54,680 --> 01:24:57,160
in the house and she's sitting 
over in the corner texting some 

1571
01:24:57,160 --> 01:25:00,080
dude and she's having a good 
conversation and she's all 

1572
01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:04,480
excited. 
Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I have 

1573
01:25:04,480 --> 01:25:07,560
no qualms with fucking my wife 
when someone smiles. 

1574
01:25:07,560 --> 01:25:12,720
Got her wet. 
And even better when she tells 

1575
01:25:12,720 --> 01:25:18,080
me that Oh my God, so and so got
me all excited because the 

1576
01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:21,560
average person, the average 
woman is only going to talk to 

1577
01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:24,080
her girlfriend about that. 
The average dude is only going 

1578
01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:26,400
to talk to his boy about that or
keep that shit to himself. 

1579
01:25:26,960 --> 01:25:31,560
You're giving me, you're telling
me I was talking to so and so. 

1580
01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:36,520
So and so got me excited. 
And now I, as your husband, have

1581
01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:38,760
the opportunity to be brought 
into this loop. 

1582
01:25:39,520 --> 01:25:42,280
And then now you're sharing that
this is a different level of 

1583
01:25:42,280 --> 01:25:44,240
sharing. 
This is a level of sharing that 

1584
01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:47,840
most people can never have. 
People who can tell. 

1585
01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:52,320
I can't tell my like, I can tell
my wife and I was talking to so 

1586
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,360
and so, man, she got my Dick 
hard as a missile. 

1587
01:25:54,680 --> 01:25:56,520
I'm on the way home. 
And you don't have to deal with 

1588
01:25:56,520 --> 01:25:59,760
that. 
Most women would be so offended 

1589
01:25:59,760 --> 01:26:01,200
by what? 
What do you mean? 

1590
01:26:01,200 --> 01:26:03,440
Some other one that got you hard
and you about to come get me 

1591
01:26:03,440 --> 01:26:06,320
some. 
Yeah, that's true intimacy. 

1592
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:11,960
So we're, we're, we're adults. 
We're, we're, we're grown. 

1593
01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,520
We're grown men. 
I'm 47 years old and I've 

1594
01:26:14,520 --> 01:26:17,760
literally had sex with well over
1000 women. 

1595
01:26:19,760 --> 01:26:22,920
What? 
What gets me aroused when a 

1596
01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:28,160
woman can arouse me, especially 
emotionally or intellectually, 

1597
01:26:28,520 --> 01:26:30,240
and then I can share with my 
wife. 

1598
01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:33,080
That's intimacy. 
But that used to bother me 

1599
01:26:33,080 --> 01:26:34,720
before. 
That used to bother because. 

1600
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:37,440
I didn't like that he had that 
connection because I wouldn't 

1601
01:26:37,440 --> 01:26:39,640
make that connection with anyone
else. 

1602
01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:43,320
So I felt like, like you said 
with the traveling thing, like 

1603
01:26:43,320 --> 01:26:46,080
that was my love language. 
Like, no, this is we're 

1604
01:26:46,080 --> 01:26:48,800
vulnerable with each other. 
I don't want you to do that with

1605
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:51,400
someone else. 
It wasn't the sex part. 

1606
01:26:51,520 --> 01:26:53,880
Go over there, fuck them, have a
good time. 

1607
01:26:53,880 --> 01:26:56,640
It was the why are you on the 
phone with them for three hours 

1608
01:26:56,640 --> 01:27:00,120
with something? 
It doesn't make sense now, but. 

1609
01:27:00,720 --> 01:27:05,520
The problem is the second I 
stifle your desire, the second I

1610
01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:11,920
say something to make you stop 
engaging in a thing that you 

1611
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:15,240
wanted to. 
I can't stop your fantasies, 

1612
01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:17,720
right? 
So I can either stop your 

1613
01:27:17,720 --> 01:27:25,160
fantasies or I can share in them
and I can either with her. 

1614
01:27:25,160 --> 01:27:29,120
Once we got to that that point, 
believe you me, I'm going to 

1615
01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:32,760
make you uncomfortable. 
If you never make him 

1616
01:27:32,760 --> 01:27:35,080
uncomfortable and she never 
makes you uncomfortable, you're 

1617
01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:37,280
not growing. 
I'm going to tell you this in a 

1618
01:27:37,280 --> 01:27:41,040
lifestyle. 
There are so many couples who 

1619
01:27:41,040 --> 01:27:43,720
have been at the same place for 
10 years. 

1620
01:27:43,720 --> 01:27:47,000
You know what that means? 
Somebody in this relationship 

1621
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:49,920
ain't telling the other person 
what they really want because 

1622
01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:51,720
they trying to make sure they 
stay comfortable. 

1623
01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:55,480
Fuck that. 
No, as long as I'm honest about 

1624
01:27:55,480 --> 01:28:01,320
it and then that means as a man 
it's her job to reassure me 

1625
01:28:01,920 --> 01:28:05,200
because I'm vulnerable to her. 
I don't give a fuck with nobody 

1626
01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:06,600
else in this world feel about 
me. 

1627
01:28:07,360 --> 01:28:11,440
She's the first person who I 
expect you to reassure me. 

1628
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:15,600
If you going to go somewhere by 
yourself and ride 12 Dicks, yes,

1629
01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:20,720
it's your job to come home and 
fucking reassure me and let me 

1630
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:23,480
know that you're still mine, you
still love me. 

1631
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:25,280
That don't make me an emotional 
dude. 

1632
01:28:25,280 --> 01:28:28,880
That means that's your job. 
Because it's my job if I go play

1633
01:28:28,880 --> 01:28:31,000
with someone to come home and 
make you feel like you're the 

1634
01:28:31,000 --> 01:28:34,160
queen of my universe. 
The problem is most people get 

1635
01:28:34,160 --> 01:28:35,640
in their head and go, I don't 
want to. 

1636
01:28:35,880 --> 01:28:37,760
I don't want you to think that 
I'm insecure. 

1637
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:42,400
Well I'm not insecure if you 
fucking do your job like. 

1638
01:28:43,840 --> 01:28:46,720
What you're saying, Mr. Mocha, 
about communication? 

1639
01:28:46,880 --> 01:28:50,520
It's OK to go out and fuck 
different people, but come home 

1640
01:28:50,520 --> 01:28:52,800
and don't. 
Don't be weird about it. 

1641
01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:55,080
No. 
Don't be afraid to communicate 

1642
01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:57,120
to the other person. 
Some people like to hear what 

1643
01:28:57,120 --> 01:28:58,960
you did. 
Some people do, not everybody, 

1644
01:28:59,520 --> 01:29:02,520
some of you just need to be 
reassured that we have a a bond 

1645
01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:05,440
that has not been broken from an
hour or two you just spent with 

1646
01:29:05,440 --> 01:29:07,680
someone else. 
So I like what you said about 

1647
01:29:08,120 --> 01:29:12,240
staying connected, especially 
when you come home having done 

1648
01:29:12,240 --> 01:29:16,880
something that doesn't alter the
relationship, but you with 

1649
01:29:16,880 --> 01:29:18,760
somebody else to be real, you 
with somebody. 

1650
01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:22,320
Else and the details if that's 
what I need, that's my right 

1651
01:29:23,080 --> 01:29:26,360
with her. 
In the beginning my thing was 

1652
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:29,680
get a video and I'm going to 
tell you something. 

1653
01:29:31,120 --> 01:29:35,000
If she came home and some dude 
who she played with got a shitty

1654
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:37,560
video, I got a problem with 
that. 

1655
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:41,840
You have one job, you can go 
ride all Dick you want, but your

1656
01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:47,760
job is to make sure he gets me a
good video because that means 

1657
01:29:47,880 --> 01:29:50,720
that I was there with you when 
you're concerned. 

1658
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:53,160
Hey, I need you to make sure my 
husband get a good video. 

1659
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:57,000
I'm only asking for 5 minutes. 
I'm not asking for two hours. 

1660
01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:58,280
If you're there for two hours, I
don't care. 

1661
01:29:58,280 --> 01:30:01,760
I'm asking for 5 minutes of 
clear video and I and. 

1662
01:30:02,680 --> 01:30:06,960
I can approach. 
I had no problem when I looked 

1663
01:30:06,960 --> 01:30:08,560
at this video and it looked like
shit. 

1664
01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:11,520
Most people are like, Oh well, I
don't want to be that guy. 

1665
01:30:11,520 --> 01:30:12,920
Fuck that. 
I'm that guy. 

1666
01:30:13,840 --> 01:30:17,760
Because if you, whatever 
stipulation she gave me, I made 

1667
01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:19,280
sure you got it. 
You're going to get that 

1668
01:30:19,280 --> 01:30:22,160
stipulation. 
So that's where everybody, 

1669
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:27,120
everybody messes up because 
they're afraid to set 

1670
01:30:27,120 --> 01:30:29,640
expectation of their spouse. 
Because only thing I need to 

1671
01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:34,800
know is that when you're playing
for three hours or two hours, 

1672
01:30:35,760 --> 01:30:38,560
that I was there, I was a part 
of it. 

1673
01:30:38,800 --> 01:30:42,840
And if all I asked for was 5-10 
minutes, a good video, I need 

1674
01:30:42,840 --> 01:30:44,560
that. 
And with her, she used to tell 

1675
01:30:44,560 --> 01:30:47,160
the shittiest stories. 
So tell me about the play date. 

1676
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:50,840
Well, I went over and he gave me
Dick and then he came. 

1677
01:30:51,560 --> 01:30:53,280
The fuck? 
You're going for three hours? 

1678
01:30:55,160 --> 01:30:58,000
Like that's it. 
And so she learned to tell me a 

1679
01:30:58,000 --> 01:31:02,040
story. 
So now during sex, she can 

1680
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:07,000
literally tell me a full story 
and in detail because now we're 

1681
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:12,760
being intimate. 
Now, I don't care if you go on a

1682
01:31:12,760 --> 01:31:16,840
vacation with somebody. 
I don't care if you talk to some

1683
01:31:16,840 --> 01:31:20,920
guy all day long because in my 
mind and in my heart, I am aware

1684
01:31:21,400 --> 01:31:25,160
that you're being intimate with 
me when I go, hey, what's going 

1685
01:31:25,160 --> 01:31:27,440
on with so and so? 
Oh my God, Daddy, he told me 

1686
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,040
this. 
He did this, we did this. 

1687
01:31:29,360 --> 01:31:31,760
Cool. 
I may not ask another question 

1688
01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:37,440
for five months because I know 
I'm always a part of that loop. 

1689
01:31:38,520 --> 01:31:41,080
But I also know as a woman, you 
want a connection. 

1690
01:31:41,080 --> 01:31:43,080
You don't, you know, you ain't 
you. 

1691
01:31:43,080 --> 01:31:45,640
You don't want to just lay on 
your back and let some dude 

1692
01:31:45,640 --> 01:31:48,080
pound you and then. 
Well, sometimes you do. 

1693
01:31:48,840 --> 01:31:54,560
Sometimes, sometimes you do, 
yes, yes, sometimes you do, but 

1694
01:31:54,560 --> 01:31:58,720
that's the power that you have 
Where her, she, she now she's 

1695
01:31:58,720 --> 01:32:00,600
multifaceted because in the 
beginning she wasn't 

1696
01:32:00,600 --> 01:32:03,200
multifaceted. 
In the beginning it was OK, I 

1697
01:32:03,200 --> 01:32:06,200
don't even want to see the guy, 
just bring him in, make sure he 

1698
01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:10,040
I want to be blindfolded. 
Then it was OK, I want to see 

1699
01:32:10,040 --> 01:32:12,280
what the guy looks like. 
If he's attractive, I don't want

1700
01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:14,800
to talk to him. 
And then it came to a point 

1701
01:32:14,800 --> 01:32:19,000
where she's like, I'm like, 
she's like, daddy, don't rush. 

1702
01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:23,080
I want to talk to him. 
Well, you didn't fucking tell 

1703
01:32:23,080 --> 01:32:23,360
me. 
You. 

1704
01:32:23,400 --> 01:32:27,120
Didn't tell me that you changed 
the policy, you know, so like 

1705
01:32:27,120 --> 01:32:33,320
that's that's what I mean by 
there is my emotional state. 

1706
01:32:34,920 --> 01:32:38,800
You are mine. 
I'm not. 

1707
01:32:38,800 --> 01:32:42,240
I'm giving you everything. 
I'm not saying we ain't going to

1708
01:32:42,240 --> 01:32:45,000
play, but I'm well because 
they're yours. 

1709
01:32:45,800 --> 01:32:49,040
If I hold back any of my 
emotions from you, like I'm 

1710
01:32:49,040 --> 01:32:51,640
vulnerable to her. 
She knows how I feel. 

1711
01:32:52,080 --> 01:32:55,240
She knows when I'm upset, there 
ain't no question. 

1712
01:32:55,240 --> 01:32:58,400
Like I don't have that 
sensation. 

1713
01:32:58,400 --> 01:33:00,080
We're like, oh, I shouldn't feel
jealous about. 

1714
01:33:00,080 --> 01:33:02,480
Fuck that. 
Hey, baby, I feel some kind of 

1715
01:33:02,480 --> 01:33:04,440
way about this is like I'm that 
person. 

1716
01:33:04,840 --> 01:33:08,320
So now, after all of these 
years, we don't even do that 

1717
01:33:08,320 --> 01:33:11,360
anymore. 
Now she's like, Daddy, I, I know

1718
01:33:11,360 --> 01:33:13,560
you want to play with so. 
And so we had a point where 

1719
01:33:13,560 --> 01:33:20,440
she's like, OK, you, you, you, 
you got this girl who's 97 lbs 

1720
01:33:20,440 --> 01:33:24,800
on the video and you're fucking 
her and you got her and you're 

1721
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:27,440
standing up bouncing her. 
You don't fuck me like that. 

1722
01:33:28,200 --> 01:33:31,600
I'm not saying don't fuck her 
again, but this is how I felt. 

1723
01:33:33,280 --> 01:33:37,680
But she learned that she has to 
tell me how she feels otherwise 

1724
01:33:37,680 --> 01:33:40,400
she walking around acting crazy 
and I'm fucking confused. 

1725
01:33:40,880 --> 01:33:44,040
You guys from in my experience, 
and I'm sure you've talked more 

1726
01:33:44,040 --> 01:33:47,480
than I have, you guys have come 
a long way and for people to 

1727
01:33:47,480 --> 01:33:50,160
listen to you where you guys are
in your state and your 

1728
01:33:50,160 --> 01:33:53,360
relationship is advanced. 
I like to you communicate you 

1729
01:33:53,360 --> 01:33:56,080
have an understanding. 
You weren't always that way. 

1730
01:33:56,160 --> 01:33:58,120
No, you had to get to that 
point. 

1731
01:33:58,360 --> 01:34:02,080
So being the lifestyle, having 
these types of relationships is 

1732
01:34:02,080 --> 01:34:05,640
a journey, a journey the two 
people that care about each 

1733
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:10,120
other take together. 
It has ups and downs, corners 

1734
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:12,600
and twists and turns. 
But based on what you've 

1735
01:34:12,600 --> 01:34:15,640
described, I'm impressed. 
I, I like what I'm hearing. 

1736
01:34:15,880 --> 01:34:18,920
I like the togetherness and the,
and the way you can be out there

1737
01:34:18,920 --> 01:34:21,480
doing the things you want to do 
and still come back and have a 

1738
01:34:21,480 --> 01:34:25,240
complete, I mean, passionate 
sexual relationship. 

1739
01:34:25,800 --> 01:34:28,560
And I think that's fantastic. 
It's fantastic. 

1740
01:34:29,360 --> 01:34:34,920
It used to be like I had to, he 
had to fuck me after he fucked 

1741
01:34:34,920 --> 01:34:37,080
anybody else. 
And now I'm just like, I'll text

1742
01:34:37,080 --> 01:34:38,400
him and be like I'm going to 
bed. 

1743
01:34:40,360 --> 01:34:42,720
I hope you're having fun. 
Stressed out the old day boy and

1744
01:34:42,720 --> 01:34:45,320
why is he like you better save 
something real. 

1745
01:34:45,320 --> 01:34:46,720
I'm like, you know, I'm on the 
way home. 

1746
01:34:46,720 --> 01:34:48,520
Like please buddy, like we 
should. 

1747
01:34:48,560 --> 01:34:50,880
We gotta get the job done. 
If we don't give it to her, 

1748
01:34:50,880 --> 01:34:51,920
what's going to be a problem, 
you know? 

1749
01:34:52,240 --> 01:34:55,000
I would cry. 
I would like, yeah, I would 

1750
01:34:55,120 --> 01:34:58,280
legit like be upset. 
Like you don't want me anymore? 

1751
01:34:59,640 --> 01:35:00,600
I. 
Enjoy you guys. 

1752
01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:03,120
And maybe based on what you 
describe now versus what you 

1753
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:06,640
were, that's a journey. 
That's a journey with people 

1754
01:35:06,640 --> 01:35:09,040
listening to so they can 
understand there's a starting 

1755
01:35:09,040 --> 01:35:10,480
point and then it's where you 
guys are. 

1756
01:35:10,960 --> 01:35:14,640
You can and it's not smooth, no.
It's not, it's not as bumpy and 

1757
01:35:14,640 --> 01:35:17,720
as challenging and, and there 
are tears involved like you just

1758
01:35:17,720 --> 01:35:19,680
indicated. 
But look where you are now, 

1759
01:35:20,480 --> 01:35:22,560
coming home, taking video, 
telling a story. 

1760
01:35:23,160 --> 01:35:24,960
I like it. 
It's it's wonderful to hear the 

1761
01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:27,920
freedom that people can have 
through this journey. 

1762
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:33,040
And it's, I think out of all of 
the things that I've told people

1763
01:35:33,040 --> 01:35:35,120
is like, you're going to be mad 
at them, you're going to be 

1764
01:35:35,120 --> 01:35:38,040
upset. 
But just think about, like I 

1765
01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:40,440
said earlier, think about what 
you're going to say to them. 

1766
01:35:40,880 --> 01:35:44,720
Don't quick react because that's
the worst reaction you could 

1767
01:35:44,720 --> 01:35:47,160
have. 
Because you're, again, when I 

1768
01:35:47,640 --> 01:35:51,520
used to say things out of 
emotion, they were ugly things. 

1769
01:35:52,280 --> 01:35:53,800
You don't want to say that I 
don't. 

1770
01:35:54,160 --> 01:35:57,120
And and I never have been like, 
fuck this. 

1771
01:35:57,120 --> 01:36:01,880
I'm leaving this relation ever I
and I have been pissed, but 

1772
01:36:01,880 --> 01:36:04,640
there was never a point in time 
where I was like, I just can't 

1773
01:36:04,640 --> 01:36:07,640
do this anymore. 
And we, I think it's healthy to 

1774
01:36:07,640 --> 01:36:10,960
take like what we call organic 
breaks because we'll go on 

1775
01:36:10,960 --> 01:36:14,440
breaks and not even know like 
like lifestyle breaks that we're

1776
01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:16,320
even on a break. 
I love that you said it that way

1777
01:36:16,320 --> 01:36:17,600
because that that makes a lot of
sense. 

1778
01:36:17,600 --> 01:36:20,400
I think for us to this organic 
breaks, we just kind of look up 

1779
01:36:20,400 --> 01:36:23,840
one day and go we haven't really
been in the lifestyle, right. 

1780
01:36:23,840 --> 01:36:27,040
We haven't really done anything 
but and and we feel OK about 

1781
01:36:27,040 --> 01:36:28,960
that. 
It's you know, it's fine. 

1782
01:36:29,320 --> 01:36:33,360
You didn't say fuck this, you're
not having any pussy and you're 

1783
01:36:33,360 --> 01:36:36,080
not having any Dick and we're 
just going to sit here and stare

1784
01:36:36,080 --> 01:36:37,600
at each other till we figure 
this out. 

1785
01:36:37,600 --> 01:36:40,240
You don't. 
You don't want to push or force 

1786
01:36:40,240 --> 01:36:44,400
anything on anybody because that
causes resentment. 

1787
01:36:44,720 --> 01:36:48,600
I mean, you don't want to resent
your spouse, but you also want 

1788
01:36:48,600 --> 01:36:51,400
to be able to talk about it. 
But there has to be. 

1789
01:36:51,560 --> 01:36:55,280
I can't say that everybody has 
open space to say everything 

1790
01:36:55,280 --> 01:36:58,680
though, right? 
What do you mean by that? 

1791
01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:03,040
I feel like there's a lot of 
relationships that they don't. 

1792
01:37:04,160 --> 01:37:07,240
He is very easy to say things 
to. 

1793
01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:13,680
I can take his information in 
much easier than I used to be 

1794
01:37:13,680 --> 01:37:17,200
able to do. 
But some relationships we have 

1795
01:37:17,200 --> 01:37:21,080
seen and they're not able to be 
fully vulnerable with their 

1796
01:37:21,080 --> 01:37:23,720
spouse, they have to like walk 
on egg. 

1797
01:37:23,720 --> 01:37:27,640
I don't want to say walk on egg 
shells, but filter, yeah, filter

1798
01:37:27,640 --> 01:37:31,080
what they say, which is OK. 
I feel like sometimes that's a 

1799
01:37:31,080 --> 01:37:34,080
compromise. 
There's always one person in the

1800
01:37:34,080 --> 01:37:36,720
relationship that's more 
sensitive than the other, so you

1801
01:37:37,440 --> 01:37:39,840
need to be able to deliver it 
safely. 

1802
01:37:40,920 --> 01:37:43,240
There's usually that person in 
the relationship who has the 

1803
01:37:43,240 --> 01:37:46,680
emotional high ground, and then 
there's usually that person in 

1804
01:37:46,680 --> 01:37:53,600
the relationship who is silently
emotionally stronger. 

1805
01:37:54,040 --> 01:37:57,520
So you have the person who's 
wild and vocal and having all 

1806
01:37:57,520 --> 01:37:59,120
the fun. 
You have the person who's kind 

1807
01:37:59,120 --> 01:38:04,240
of like, man, I really want to 
do this, but I know my mate 

1808
01:38:04,240 --> 01:38:08,280
can't handle it. 
So they wind up always being on 

1809
01:38:08,280 --> 01:38:12,320
the, they always wind, they 
always get the shit into the 

1810
01:38:12,360 --> 01:38:15,160
deal. 
And then oftentimes that leads 

1811
01:38:15,160 --> 01:38:18,880
to a situation where they start 
to get resentful. 

1812
01:38:20,080 --> 01:38:21,640
And it's interesting. 
Sorry about that. 

1813
01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:23,680
It's interesting. 
Like we wind up having these 

1814
01:38:23,680 --> 01:38:27,080
conversations with that 
resentful person and the other 

1815
01:38:27,080 --> 01:38:29,680
person don't even know. 
That any person is. 

1816
01:38:29,760 --> 01:38:31,880
Resentful. 
And that's why I always 

1817
01:38:31,880 --> 01:38:34,520
encourage people like look. 
You have to have the 

1818
01:38:34,520 --> 01:38:38,040
conversations. 
Have the conversation like if 

1819
01:38:38,040 --> 01:38:40,720
you love each other like. 
But you said to me in the 

1820
01:38:40,720 --> 01:38:44,760
beginning of our relationship 
too, he was like the we have to 

1821
01:38:44,760 --> 01:38:49,520
have the hard conversations. 
And I avoided those in my last 

1822
01:38:49,520 --> 01:38:52,600
relationship completely because 
they weren't sanctioned. 

1823
01:38:52,720 --> 01:38:55,000
It's like we weren't, they 
weren't allowed to have those at

1824
01:38:55,000 --> 01:38:59,560
all. 
So with him, I I brought over 

1825
01:38:59,560 --> 01:39:01,400
the same thing. 
Like I would not. 

1826
01:39:01,400 --> 01:39:04,600
I lied about asinine things. 
I can admit it now. 

1827
01:39:04,600 --> 01:39:07,240
He knew I was fucking lying. 
And he would just stare at me 

1828
01:39:07,240 --> 01:39:10,480
and smile about stuff because he
knew I was fucking lying. 

1829
01:39:11,200 --> 01:39:13,440
But it was like I was like, 
fighter. 

1830
01:39:13,680 --> 01:39:15,120
What do you what do you call 
fighter Flight. 

1831
01:39:15,160 --> 01:39:17,680
Yeah, Fighter. 
Flight, but I was aware that she

1832
01:39:19,040 --> 01:39:26,040
you you, you as guys, we 
unfortunately, if we're we wind 

1833
01:39:26,040 --> 01:39:30,000
up in a situation, especially if
you're a promiscuous guy, you 

1834
01:39:30,000 --> 01:39:33,200
see so many different versions 
of women where it's like, man, 

1835
01:39:33,200 --> 01:39:37,760
she's a real good girl. 
But the last dude broker, like I

1836
01:39:37,760 --> 01:39:42,960
can see that she's just trying 
to make sure she's lying because

1837
01:39:42,960 --> 01:39:44,600
she don't want to hurt my 
feelings. 

1838
01:39:44,920 --> 01:39:48,200
And I'm like, look, you don't 
got life from my feelings. 

1839
01:39:48,440 --> 01:39:51,600
But I didn't trust that he said 
what he was meaning, what he 

1840
01:39:51,600 --> 01:39:53,440
said. 
So you have to trust, you know, 

1841
01:39:53,680 --> 01:39:56,960
you need, you would have to, you
have to trust that what he's 

1842
01:39:56,960 --> 01:40:00,400
saying is what he means. 
But and vice versa. 

1843
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:02,720
And I didn't trust anything that
anyone said. 

1844
01:40:02,720 --> 01:40:05,440
It wasn't just him. 
So I used to make the truth very

1845
01:40:05,440 --> 01:40:09,760
painful for her and in the first
couple years, like look, I used 

1846
01:40:09,760 --> 01:40:12,360
to elbow drop her with the truth
just to show her like look. 

1847
01:40:12,520 --> 01:40:14,160
Like the time around house saw 
your shit. 

1848
01:40:14,160 --> 01:40:17,840
Yeah, yeah, you know, she got 
mad, but like, I would really 

1849
01:40:18,680 --> 01:40:20,640
hit her with heart truths to let
her know. 

1850
01:40:20,640 --> 01:40:24,520
Like, look, this, this should be
a lie. 

1851
01:40:24,520 --> 01:40:28,640
The average guy would lie here. 
We, we just, we, we, we say the 

1852
01:40:28,640 --> 01:40:30,120
truth. 
It's not going to be 

1853
01:40:30,120 --> 01:40:31,880
comfortable, it's not going to 
feel good. 

1854
01:40:32,360 --> 01:40:34,480
But. 
Even the first threesome I had 

1855
01:40:34,480 --> 01:40:37,320
with your friend, yeah, I was 
lit. 

1856
01:40:37,320 --> 01:40:39,920
He left the room and that fucked
me up. 

1857
01:40:39,960 --> 01:40:42,800
I was good while he was in the 
room because I was like, OK, 

1858
01:40:42,800 --> 01:40:44,240
this is happening. 
He's fine. 

1859
01:40:44,240 --> 01:40:48,560
He's he's enjoying it. 
And he left the room and I 

1860
01:40:48,560 --> 01:40:50,840
didn't even want to finish. 
I did because I'm super 

1861
01:40:50,840 --> 01:40:55,200
stubborn. 
So it was, it was AII brought a 

1862
01:40:55,200 --> 01:40:58,360
guy into it, one of my buddies 
to play with her. 

1863
01:40:58,920 --> 01:41:04,840
And you know how it is as a guy 
like #1 I wanted her to know 

1864
01:41:04,840 --> 01:41:07,520
that. 
I told you I was OK with this. 

1865
01:41:07,520 --> 01:41:12,040
I'm going to step out of the 
room, let him have his time with

1866
01:41:12,040 --> 01:41:15,280
you, have a good time. 
And she was super worried that 

1867
01:41:15,280 --> 01:41:17,360
Oh my God, that he leaked 
because he was upset. 

1868
01:41:17,360 --> 01:41:22,000
The guy had no idea but I was 
like so far in my head like I 

1869
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:24,360
can tell you this now but I felt
like sick. 

1870
01:41:24,480 --> 01:41:28,520
I still sucked his Dick and did 
whatever I need to do but as 

1871
01:41:28,520 --> 01:41:31,440
soon as the guy left I asked him
like are you OK? 

1872
01:41:31,440 --> 01:41:33,560
Are you upset at me? 
Because I immediately was like, 

1873
01:41:33,600 --> 01:41:34,440
oh, he's upset. 
I. 

1874
01:41:34,760 --> 01:41:37,360
Mean, do you still like me? 
And it's like, but, and here's 

1875
01:41:37,360 --> 01:41:40,560
the thing, like my style of 
doing things, things may not be 

1876
01:41:40,560 --> 01:41:46,320
the best, but I like to, I, I 
like putting her in, putting her

1877
01:41:46,320 --> 01:41:48,680
in uncomfortable situations. 
Because we'll go back to this. 

1878
01:41:50,960 --> 01:41:54,000
When I I played with, there were
times when I would play with 

1879
01:41:54,000 --> 01:41:55,560
someone. 
The first time, I think the 

1880
01:41:55,560 --> 01:41:58,360
first time she saw me play with 
somebody, we were at the 

1881
01:41:58,360 --> 01:42:01,800
swingers club and I've been to 
chick over the pool table and 

1882
01:42:01,800 --> 01:42:04,840
start fucking her. 
And that was really just because

1883
01:42:04,840 --> 01:42:07,040
I told her I was going to do it.
I want you to see it. 

1884
01:42:07,400 --> 01:42:09,160
I knew you'd feel some kind of 
way about it. 

1885
01:42:09,160 --> 01:42:11,520
And now that's going to give me 
the opportunity to come back and

1886
01:42:11,520 --> 01:42:14,600
say, I told you this is what 
we're going to do. 

1887
01:42:14,600 --> 01:42:16,560
You said you're OK with it. 
I'm going to put you in an 

1888
01:42:16,560 --> 01:42:19,200
uncomfortable situation. 
But then I do understand that 

1889
01:42:19,200 --> 01:42:23,240
now I need to prove to you that 
I still care for you. 

1890
01:42:23,720 --> 01:42:29,280
You know, I, I, I, our 
relationship is still solid, but

1891
01:42:29,520 --> 01:42:32,600
I think a big mistake that a lot
of couples within the lifestyle 

1892
01:42:32,600 --> 01:42:37,320
or new to lifestyle make is one 
of the people in the couple are 

1893
01:42:37,320 --> 01:42:43,680
afraid to do the thing because 
they're so afraid of what their 

1894
01:42:43,680 --> 01:42:46,080
partners going to say. 
They're afraid to do the thing. 

1895
01:42:46,400 --> 01:42:49,960
And so they go for so long 
without making their partner 

1896
01:42:49,960 --> 01:42:55,160
feel that burn that they have 
fell over and over that when 

1897
01:42:55,160 --> 01:42:57,800
they find, when they're finally 
ready to do it, there's a sense 

1898
01:42:57,800 --> 01:43:00,680
of resentment there. 
And now your partner is like, 

1899
01:43:00,680 --> 01:43:03,760
well, you've gone seven years 
and you didn't fucking do it. 

1900
01:43:03,760 --> 01:43:06,960
Why are you mad at me for being 
mad at you for doing it? 

1901
01:43:07,200 --> 01:43:10,360
If it took you 7 years to fuck 
somebody, you must really be 

1902
01:43:10,360 --> 01:43:13,440
into this person in an arm. 
And then that person in mind, 

1903
01:43:13,440 --> 01:43:16,640
they're like, Oh no, I've just 
been waiting to make sure you're

1904
01:43:16,640 --> 01:43:19,240
comfortable. 
No, all of a sudden, after seven

1905
01:43:19,240 --> 01:43:22,560
years, you're finally fucked a 
chick or you finally fucked a 

1906
01:43:22,560 --> 01:43:25,720
dude and now you want me to 
believe that you're not 

1907
01:43:25,720 --> 01:43:28,240
emotionally connected to this 
dude on another level. 

1908
01:43:29,480 --> 01:43:31,640
And that was what my fear with 
her in the beginning. 

1909
01:43:31,640 --> 01:43:33,840
So like I kind of put her 
through the gauntlet in the 

1910
01:43:33,840 --> 01:43:36,080
beginning. 
Like I ran her through the 

1911
01:43:36,080 --> 01:43:38,400
gauntlet in a lot of areas and 
so. 

1912
01:43:38,400 --> 01:43:40,600
Didn't know that I was as 
stubborn as he was. 

1913
01:43:40,600 --> 01:43:42,440
That is sometimes. 
Oh, I didn't know she was as 

1914
01:43:42,440 --> 01:43:44,960
stubborn as I was. 
That's why I liked her because 

1915
01:43:44,960 --> 01:43:52,960
she was very, she was strong 
willed and she had the she was 

1916
01:43:52,960 --> 01:43:54,800
that sexual monster that I 
wanted. 

1917
01:43:54,800 --> 01:43:59,680
Like I didn't want to yoke 
myself to a woman who wasn't, 

1918
01:44:00,840 --> 01:44:04,040
who didn't have my same sexual 
energy because before I met her,

1919
01:44:04,040 --> 01:44:10,360
like I, I was just when we met, 
when we met, I was actively, I 

1920
01:44:10,360 --> 01:44:14,360
was actively dating four other 
women and I told her about them.

1921
01:44:14,360 --> 01:44:19,080
So she was the 5th so. 
And again, when he told me all 

1922
01:44:19,080 --> 01:44:21,360
these things and he was having 
sex with all these women and 

1923
01:44:21,360 --> 01:44:23,400
whatever, and he made it very 
clear. 

1924
01:44:23,640 --> 01:44:26,560
He was the first dude that I met
on any dating site that was 

1925
01:44:26,560 --> 01:44:29,400
like, I'm still going to do my 
thing. 

1926
01:44:29,400 --> 01:44:32,280
You still do your thing. 
And I did believe that because I

1927
01:44:32,280 --> 01:44:34,080
was like, no one else has ever 
said that to me. 

1928
01:44:34,120 --> 01:44:37,040
And again, he never lied to me. 
He would say, hey, I'm going to 

1929
01:44:37,560 --> 01:44:40,000
so and so's house today, or I'm 
at so and so's house. 

1930
01:44:41,120 --> 01:44:43,480
I was intrigued. 
I said don't ask me something, 

1931
01:44:43,480 --> 01:44:44,480
you don't really want the 
answer. 

1932
01:44:44,480 --> 01:44:46,440
To but I still would. 
Ask you say that to me. 

1933
01:44:46,920 --> 01:44:49,040
Yeah, yeah. 
Like I was still, I was 

1934
01:44:49,040 --> 01:44:54,280
intrigued and I it felt 
different, but I can't say that 

1935
01:44:54,280 --> 01:44:58,160
I was super, that I was jealous.
It was more like, well, this 

1936
01:44:58,160 --> 01:45:00,520
seems OK because I can do what I
want to do. 

1937
01:45:00,520 --> 01:45:03,960
Also, I'm not sure it was. 
And I want to hear about it. 

1938
01:45:03,960 --> 01:45:06,880
Like I made her comfortable. 
Tell me what you're doing. 

1939
01:45:07,400 --> 01:45:08,560
Tell me about it. 
OK. 

1940
01:45:08,640 --> 01:45:13,240
Get me a video and then I want 
you to know that not only do I 

1941
01:45:13,240 --> 01:45:15,920
appreciate you getting me this 
video that I'm turned on by this

1942
01:45:15,920 --> 01:45:18,240
video and he. 
Would even mad fuck me. 

1943
01:45:18,240 --> 01:45:20,880
Like no matter if I lied he 
would mad fuck me. 

1944
01:45:20,880 --> 01:45:24,080
If I was regular he would mad 
fuck me. 

1945
01:45:24,080 --> 01:45:26,000
I'm just kidding. 
I mean, here's the thing, like 

1946
01:45:26,000 --> 01:45:30,760
she, the, the, the things that 
she wanted, like we reward our 

1947
01:45:30,760 --> 01:45:34,160
we, we learn what rewards her 
what, what is the thing that she

1948
01:45:34,160 --> 01:45:39,000
wants. 
And so I would reward her 

1949
01:45:39,000 --> 01:45:43,480
honesty because she was so used 
to trying to lie to make sure I 

1950
01:45:43,480 --> 01:45:47,520
was OK. 
So when she was honest, I knew 

1951
01:45:47,520 --> 01:45:51,320
what things she enjoyed and I 
would reward that honesty. 

1952
01:45:51,800 --> 01:45:56,080
Now, of course, at the time I 
was always, I didn't like the 

1953
01:45:56,080 --> 01:45:59,880
fact that she would lie so much,
but I understood why she was 

1954
01:45:59,880 --> 01:46:02,400
lying. 
And once she realized, well, I 

1955
01:46:02,400 --> 01:46:06,200
really don't have to lie it, it 
change the nature of our 

1956
01:46:06,200 --> 01:46:09,680
relationship, you know, and 
that's why I said, you know, 

1957
01:46:10,440 --> 01:46:17,000
with, with I wish, I wish every 
couple that from all the couples

1958
01:46:17,000 --> 01:46:19,800
who we talked, we've talked to, 
the one thing that I will say 

1959
01:46:20,680 --> 01:46:26,000
the most important thing is to 
understand that you're going to 

1960
01:46:26,000 --> 01:46:30,760
frustrate each other, you're 
going to make each other 

1961
01:46:30,760 --> 01:46:34,080
uncomfortable. 
But if you love each other, it's

1962
01:46:34,080 --> 01:46:39,040
OK. 
And if you are strong enough to 

1963
01:46:39,040 --> 01:46:41,440
tell your your your significant 
other. 

1964
01:46:42,400 --> 01:46:47,480
I was jealous. 
I had an insecure moment. 

1965
01:46:50,920 --> 01:46:53,320
She was. 
She was so attractive. 

1966
01:46:53,320 --> 01:46:56,240
It made me afraid that you might
like her more than me. 

1967
01:46:57,720 --> 01:47:00,840
This guy, when you're fucking 
this dude, the way you're 

1968
01:47:00,840 --> 01:47:03,920
looking at him, that's the way 
you look at me. 

1969
01:47:03,920 --> 01:47:05,360
And I didn't. 
I didn't like it. 

1970
01:47:05,520 --> 01:47:10,120
But you also said early on what 
which helped me was new Dick or 

1971
01:47:10,120 --> 01:47:16,360
new pussy is is exciting. 
And then it it flipped a switch 

1972
01:47:16,640 --> 01:47:18,800
like because I was like, you 
know what, he's right. 

1973
01:47:18,800 --> 01:47:23,800
Like it's when we were our sex 
is always exciting, but I know 

1974
01:47:23,800 --> 01:47:27,800
that when you do something new, 
you're excited to do that. 

1975
01:47:27,800 --> 01:47:30,960
So you're the way you react, the
way you fuck, that person is 

1976
01:47:30,960 --> 01:47:32,480
going to be different. 
You want it. 

1977
01:47:32,480 --> 01:47:35,600
You're still it's like you're 
first dating again, but you're 

1978
01:47:35,600 --> 01:47:38,120
just having sex with somebody. 
So you want to impress them. 

1979
01:47:38,120 --> 01:47:41,520
It doesn't mean. 
She said to me, oh I love your 

1980
01:47:41,520 --> 01:47:43,200
Dick more than anybody else, 
like, and I was like, hey, 

1981
01:47:43,560 --> 01:47:44,920
knocking the fuck. 
Off but I do. 

1982
01:47:45,280 --> 01:47:48,280
I said look the best, Dick. 
Somebody else is more exciting. 

1983
01:47:48,280 --> 01:47:50,360
Listen, I said. 
The best Dick you're going to 

1984
01:47:50,360 --> 01:47:52,560
ever get is new Dick. 
OK? 

1985
01:47:52,560 --> 01:47:54,880
And and and and I'm gonna tell 
you why I say that. 

1986
01:47:54,880 --> 01:47:57,200
Maybe, but. 
I, I will tell you why I say 

1987
01:47:57,200 --> 01:48:04,800
that the best Dick is new Dick. 
We're not talking about from an 

1988
01:48:04,800 --> 01:48:08,040
emotional standpoint. 
There's no competition 

1989
01:48:08,040 --> 01:48:12,840
emotionally, physically, you 
know, all of my moves. 

1990
01:48:13,640 --> 01:48:17,200
Physically, there's an 
anticipation with this new 

1991
01:48:17,200 --> 01:48:21,520
person. 
Physically, you want to impress 

1992
01:48:21,520 --> 01:48:24,880
this new person. 
You've already impressed me. 

1993
01:48:25,120 --> 01:48:27,320
You've impressed me so much. 
I fucking married you. 

1994
01:48:27,320 --> 01:48:32,800
All right, So now from the 
standpoint of this is completely

1995
01:48:32,800 --> 01:48:36,040
new, We don't have kids 
together. 

1996
01:48:36,680 --> 01:48:40,480
We don't have bills together. 
We don't have stress together. 

1997
01:48:41,320 --> 01:48:44,840
That Dick only has one job. 
You only have one thing in 

1998
01:48:44,840 --> 01:48:51,880
common, Pleasure. 
When we've had a rough week in 

1999
01:48:51,880 --> 01:48:56,000
our bedroom, in our sex, all of 
those things are still on our 

2000
01:48:56,000 --> 01:48:59,920
back. 
That dude only got 1 fucking 

2001
01:48:59,920 --> 01:49:02,200
job. 
You only have one thing in 

2002
01:49:02,200 --> 01:49:04,840
common. 
His Dick better be better than 

2003
01:49:04,840 --> 01:49:06,920
mine. 
It better be. 

2004
01:49:07,000 --> 01:49:09,640
If it's not better, why am I? 
Why are you biting this 

2005
01:49:09,640 --> 01:49:12,480
motherfucker over better 
emotionally? 

2006
01:49:12,720 --> 01:49:15,520
It's not better. 
It's different. 

2007
01:49:15,600 --> 01:49:18,600
And we are wired for novelty. 
We are definitely wired for 

2008
01:49:18,600 --> 01:49:20,840
novelty. 
But saying all of that, I will 

2009
01:49:20,840 --> 01:49:23,520
also say, and I've told 
everybody is I still prefer his 

2010
01:49:23,520 --> 01:49:25,920
Dick over anybody else's, right?
We're not talking about 

2011
01:49:25,920 --> 01:49:29,480
preference. 
So once again, so she said this 

2012
01:49:29,480 --> 01:49:31,800
is where me and her had. 
I had to clear that with her. 

2013
01:49:32,240 --> 01:49:34,960
We're not talking about what you
prefer the most. 

2014
01:49:36,160 --> 01:49:40,800
You like your house more than 
anything else, but you enjoy 

2015
01:49:40,800 --> 01:49:43,040
going on vacation. 
Sure. 

2016
01:49:43,160 --> 01:49:45,600
You don't compare vacation to 
your home. 

2017
01:49:45,600 --> 01:49:46,880
That. 
That's a good point. 

2018
01:49:46,880 --> 01:49:53,800
OK, so new Dick or new pussy, 
it's not in the same category 

2019
01:49:54,120 --> 01:49:56,440
and it's never supposed to be in
the same category. 

2020
01:49:57,120 --> 01:50:01,520
The level of excitement of 
experience in the first time you

2021
01:50:01,520 --> 01:50:04,960
go overseas to some place that 
you've only seen on TV. 

2022
01:50:05,360 --> 01:50:08,800
The level of anticipation, the 
type of endorphins that you get.

2023
01:50:08,800 --> 01:50:14,120
Because really, when you think 
about endorphins and pleasure, 

2024
01:50:14,440 --> 01:50:17,320
most pleasure is not about the 
ACT, it's about the 

2025
01:50:17,320 --> 01:50:18,640
anticipation. 
Agreed with. 

2026
01:50:19,000 --> 01:50:26,000
That so the anticipation of a 
new partner, that's what I want 

2027
01:50:26,000 --> 01:50:29,160
him to bring. 
I want the anticipation. 

2028
01:50:29,360 --> 01:50:32,440
You trying to impress him, you 
trying to show him how good you 

2029
01:50:32,440 --> 01:50:34,480
are. 
You don't want somebody to have 

2030
01:50:34,480 --> 01:50:36,440
sex with you be like, that shit 
was trash. 

2031
01:50:36,440 --> 01:50:40,440
No, there's a lot of shit going 
on in your head that makes that 

2032
01:50:40,440 --> 01:50:44,040
exciting, whether it's for me 
with a new woman or you with a 

2033
01:50:44,040 --> 01:50:48,760
new guy. 
So I told her, honey, I know you

2034
01:50:48,760 --> 01:50:52,920
love me. 
I know you preferred me, but the

2035
01:50:52,920 --> 01:50:58,600
best Dick you're going to get is
going to be new Dick because you

2036
01:50:58,600 --> 01:51:01,320
don't know what you're getting. 
And it's bad. 

2037
01:51:01,960 --> 01:51:04,160
Dick Now here's the thing. 
Now if you get it and it's 

2038
01:51:04,160 --> 01:51:08,000
trashed, hey, that's on him. 
But if you get it and it's good 

2039
01:51:08,240 --> 01:51:15,080
now after that, I'm always like 
the the physical sensation is 

2040
01:51:15,080 --> 01:51:21,000
going to be second best. 
Now the emotional sensation, the

2041
01:51:21,000 --> 01:51:26,120
desire, the the things that we 
have together, we can't. 

2042
01:51:26,280 --> 01:51:28,760
It's not fair to compare that 
with that guy. 

2043
01:51:28,760 --> 01:51:31,040
It's not. 
It's not fair to put that that 

2044
01:51:31,040 --> 01:51:33,560
guy or that woman in that same 
category. 

2045
01:51:33,880 --> 01:51:38,240
No one is ever going to be in 
the same category in any way, 

2046
01:51:38,240 --> 01:51:41,120
shape or form. 
With my wife. 

2047
01:51:41,360 --> 01:51:45,440
There's 50 categories that my 
wife is the best at, and the one

2048
01:51:45,440 --> 01:51:48,880
category she don't get is this 
the first time I've ever fucked 

2049
01:51:48,880 --> 01:51:51,960
this woman? 
I don't know what I got coming. 

2050
01:51:52,200 --> 01:51:55,080
I know that I'm anticipating it.
I know that I'm exciting. 

2051
01:51:55,240 --> 01:51:57,680
I know that I don't want some 
woman to have sex with me and 

2052
01:51:57,680 --> 01:52:00,280
then look at my wife and be 
like, why are you fucking that 

2053
01:52:00,280 --> 01:52:02,280
dude? 
That was garbage. 

2054
01:52:03,800 --> 01:52:05,000
These things are going through 
my head. 

2055
01:52:05,000 --> 01:52:08,600
So that's what I told her. 
Like honey, it's OK for you to 

2056
01:52:08,600 --> 01:52:13,440
understand that after we've been
together all of this time, I 

2057
01:52:13,440 --> 01:52:18,040
want you to anticipate that new 
guy a certain way. 

2058
01:52:19,120 --> 01:52:22,160
I'm not worried about this dude 
taking filling any of my boxes 

2059
01:52:23,760 --> 01:52:26,440
because I can make you come in 5
minutes because I've been 

2060
01:52:26,440 --> 01:52:30,080
practicing for a long time. 
This dude, he got to do a whole 

2061
01:52:30,080 --> 01:52:32,320
lot of work to learn the shit 
that I've been learning over the

2062
01:52:32,320 --> 01:52:34,360
last X amount of years, you 
know? 

2063
01:52:34,480 --> 01:52:38,240
But that's also the excitement 
of him figuring it out. 

2064
01:52:38,560 --> 01:52:43,240
So that's why I say if you're 
afraid, if you're so concerned 

2065
01:52:43,240 --> 01:52:45,000
with going, Oh no, honey, you're
best. 

2066
01:52:45,360 --> 01:52:50,360
Oh, I don't need to be the best 
because, you know, hell, she's 

2067
01:52:50,360 --> 01:52:53,040
got four or five guys who got 
Dicks that are significantly 

2068
01:52:53,040 --> 01:52:54,680
bigger than mine. 
I'm not going to lose sleep 

2069
01:52:55,600 --> 01:52:58,200
because when you come home and 
you're like, oh, Daddy, I'm 

2070
01:52:58,200 --> 01:53:00,280
sore. 
Like, oh, too bad for you 

2071
01:53:00,280 --> 01:53:02,840
because I'm still about to rent.
I'm still getting in there. 

2072
01:53:02,880 --> 01:53:04,960
You know what I'm saying? 
It ain't got nothing to do with 

2073
01:53:04,960 --> 01:53:06,440
me. 
You should have told them to get

2074
01:53:06,440 --> 01:53:08,960
you half of it because I'm still
getting mine, you know what I'm 

2075
01:53:09,200 --> 01:53:09,680
saying? 
You know what? 

2076
01:53:09,680 --> 01:53:13,040
You're saying is for men not to 
be afraid of women, not to be 

2077
01:53:13,040 --> 01:53:18,600
afraid of this concept that you 
can have better sex or have a 

2078
01:53:18,600 --> 01:53:20,480
stronger orgasm with somebody 
else. 

2079
01:53:21,600 --> 01:53:25,160
Now, having said that, to go 
back to what you just said, that

2080
01:53:25,160 --> 01:53:28,560
you think my Dick is the best. 
I think, Mr. Mocha, what you're 

2081
01:53:28,560 --> 01:53:32,280
saying is preference as it 
relates to the different 

2082
01:53:32,280 --> 01:53:34,560
components that make your 
relationship, your sexual 

2083
01:53:34,560 --> 01:53:37,400
relationship with her good. 
It's not just a sex, it's a 

2084
01:53:37,400 --> 01:53:40,360
connection, it's the emotion. 
It's it's all those factors. 

2085
01:53:40,960 --> 01:53:44,720
When you're with new Dick, those
factors don't play in you focus 

2086
01:53:44,720 --> 01:53:48,240
on the pleasure component and 
that can be way up here and 

2087
01:53:48,240 --> 01:53:51,600
that's OK. 
That's OK that that Dick is good

2088
01:53:51,600 --> 01:53:54,080
or that pussy's good. 
'Cause you only got one job. 

2089
01:53:55,440 --> 01:53:59,160
But when you have when I'm 
having sex with you, it isn't 

2090
01:53:59,240 --> 01:54:00,240
just which. 
Is really good. 

2091
01:54:00,240 --> 01:54:04,800
Right, it isn't just about the 
orgasm, is our connection and 

2092
01:54:04,800 --> 01:54:09,880
our relationship. 
They make that part good. 

2093
01:54:10,600 --> 01:54:13,000
That's not necessarily a 
component of the one night stand

2094
01:54:13,000 --> 01:54:15,000
or that, that, that the new Dick
you just found. 

2095
01:54:15,000 --> 01:54:16,720
So I hear what you're saying, 
Mr. Mocha. 

2096
01:54:18,560 --> 01:54:22,680
So I, I, I appreciate your 
clarity and your directness. 

2097
01:54:22,680 --> 01:54:24,080
It's refreshing. 
It really is. 

2098
01:54:24,080 --> 01:54:31,160
It's pretty refreshing. 
Well, I mean, yeah, absolutely. 

2099
01:54:31,160 --> 01:54:34,440
And that that's one thing like 
going with that because that was

2100
01:54:34,440 --> 01:54:38,840
what with my wife was the thing 
that she was always afraid that 

2101
01:54:38,840 --> 01:54:42,480
she was going to damage my 
fragile, quote UN quote ego. 

2102
01:54:42,480 --> 01:54:44,040
Yeah. 
And I'm like, honey, like, no, 

2103
01:54:44,040 --> 01:54:45,320
you're not going to damage my 
ego. 

2104
01:54:45,640 --> 01:54:48,160
Like I like. 
And and I know this is going to 

2105
01:54:48,160 --> 01:54:53,000
sound crazy, but I told her 
like, honey, listen, if I tell 

2106
01:54:53,000 --> 01:54:56,000
you to go find me a playmate and
you bring me back something that

2107
01:54:56,000 --> 01:54:58,720
I find undesirable, I'm going to
be very offended. 

2108
01:54:59,760 --> 01:55:04,280
So I'm never going to go out and
find you a playmate that is not 

2109
01:55:04,280 --> 01:55:08,960
me or better. 
And she can tell you this. 

2110
01:55:10,360 --> 01:55:15,520
I don't, I don't bring my wife 
back anything that I think is 

2111
01:55:15,520 --> 01:55:21,280
beneath me because now I'm 
insulting myself to me is like 

2112
01:55:21,480 --> 01:55:28,320
it's an insult to me. 
So but that, that's to me, 

2113
01:55:28,320 --> 01:55:30,920
that's also it's, it's a mental 
thing with me. 

2114
01:55:30,920 --> 01:55:32,680
It's like, and it's also with 
me. 

2115
01:55:32,680 --> 01:55:36,400
I feel like this if it's really 
mine because she has tattooed on

2116
01:55:36,400 --> 01:55:38,920
her the word mine. 
That's kind of an inside joke. 

2117
01:55:39,360 --> 01:55:43,720
I write mine on everything. 
If it's mine, I write mine on 

2118
01:55:43,720 --> 01:55:45,440
it. 
Yeah, anything that's mine, I 

2119
01:55:45,440 --> 01:55:49,600
write the word MINE on. 
If it's really mine, I'm not 

2120
01:55:49,600 --> 01:55:54,280
worried about nothing taking it.
And me as a person, I've always 

2121
01:55:54,280 --> 01:55:58,920
tested that I'm going to make 
sure that any dude she plays 

2122
01:55:58,920 --> 01:56:03,000
with, if I have a choice, he's 
going to be younger, stronger, 

2123
01:56:03,400 --> 01:56:06,760
you know, he's going to have 
attributes or qualities that I 

2124
01:56:06,760 --> 01:56:07,640
don't possess. 
I. 

2125
01:56:07,680 --> 01:56:09,280
Have daddy issues. 
I like older. 

2126
01:56:09,440 --> 01:56:12,000
Guys, yeah, she, she, she, she, 
she is. 

2127
01:56:12,000 --> 01:56:17,400
And so whatever turns her on 
when she goes there and enjoys 

2128
01:56:17,400 --> 01:56:21,520
that and she thoroughly enjoys 
herself, and then she comes back

2129
01:56:21,520 --> 01:56:25,640
to me. 
To me, it's a boomerang thing is

2130
01:56:25,640 --> 01:56:29,640
really mine. 
So that's one of the things that

2131
01:56:29,640 --> 01:56:34,120
makes the lifestyle exciting to 
me as a person because every day

2132
01:56:34,120 --> 01:56:35,800
is a test. 
I remember she told me years 

2133
01:56:35,800 --> 01:56:38,680
ago, Daddy, I feel like you're 
always testing me. 

2134
01:56:38,680 --> 01:56:40,480
You're fucking right. 
I'm always testing you. 

2135
01:56:40,480 --> 01:56:42,520
That's. 
OK, I'll test them now too. 

2136
01:56:44,280 --> 01:56:47,440
And I'm OK with that because I'm
always going to come back to it.

2137
01:56:48,240 --> 01:56:51,640
So all the bullshit that's in 
between, I'm not afraid to be 

2138
01:56:51,640 --> 01:56:54,080
vulnerable. 
I'm not afraid to ask questions,

2139
01:56:54,080 --> 01:56:56,800
I'm not afraid to challenge 
anything. 

2140
01:56:57,160 --> 01:57:00,520
The second I'm uncomfortable 
about something, I'm not. 

2141
01:57:01,120 --> 01:57:04,560
A lot of my male friends and 
lifestyle are always, well, you 

2142
01:57:04,560 --> 01:57:06,520
know, my manhood. 
Fuck your manhood. 

2143
01:57:06,520 --> 01:57:09,400
That's your wife. 
That's who you're supposed to be

2144
01:57:09,400 --> 01:57:11,720
vulnerable in front of. 
And I don't care. 

2145
01:57:11,720 --> 01:57:14,000
Like if I tell you I feel some 
kind of way about it. 

2146
01:57:14,200 --> 01:57:15,880
Yeah, I know I told you it was 
OK. 

2147
01:57:15,920 --> 01:57:22,040
But the way I feel right now, 
emotions are logical and I'm a 

2148
01:57:22,040 --> 01:57:26,160
super logical person. 
So the second my I have an 

2149
01:57:26,160 --> 01:57:28,880
illogical moment, oh, I'm 
sharing that shit. 

2150
01:57:30,040 --> 01:57:32,760
I might not share it with my 
viewers, but I'm sharing it with

2151
01:57:32,760 --> 01:57:33,480
her. 
Yeah. 

2152
01:57:33,960 --> 01:57:36,360
That's her job. 
It is, and I like that. 

2153
01:57:36,360 --> 01:57:40,520
I think that's wonderful. 
Listen, I know we've had you 

2154
01:57:40,520 --> 01:57:42,040
guys here. 
We've been here for like 2 

2155
01:57:42,040 --> 01:57:44,760
hours. 
I know you guys are in town for 

2156
01:57:44,760 --> 01:57:48,800
a convention and I think this is
only Part 1. 

2157
01:57:48,800 --> 01:57:51,240
We've got like 5 more episodes 
to do with you. 

2158
01:57:51,320 --> 01:57:54,560
I'm Jesus. 
You know, we're going to be 

2159
01:57:54,560 --> 01:57:56,960
coming and I think I've talked 
about that. 

2160
01:57:56,960 --> 01:57:59,800
We want to come back to Atlanta.
We love it here. 

2161
01:58:00,000 --> 01:58:05,040
Every time we drive down the 
road, I find AI mean I was here 

2162
01:58:05,040 --> 01:58:08,040
back in the day at Fort Benning,
back in the military days. 

2163
01:58:08,080 --> 01:58:12,320
I like Georgia and I find myself
coming back here a lot. 

2164
01:58:12,440 --> 01:58:15,360
My second or third time here is 
that to be my last. 

2165
01:58:16,120 --> 01:58:19,880
And I hope you have us back on 
or have us over for drinks more 

2166
01:58:19,880 --> 01:58:22,840
than tequila. 
I'll have the good stuff next 

2167
01:58:22,840 --> 01:58:25,200
time you get here. 
I will have it ready for you. 

2168
01:58:25,800 --> 01:58:27,960
But yeah, we have something in 
the morning that we're going to 

2169
01:58:27,960 --> 01:58:32,320
put out to our convention and I 
hope you're able to get on. 

2170
01:58:32,960 --> 01:58:36,160
So before we got before we let 
you guys go, let let the 

2171
01:58:36,160 --> 01:58:39,800
listeners know where they can 
find you for your services. 

2172
01:58:40,520 --> 01:58:48,800
OK, I am at the pleasure 
principles.coconot.com and where

2173
01:58:48,800 --> 01:58:52,560
I do therapy, coaching, 
workshops, all kinds of good 

2174
01:58:52,560 --> 01:58:56,160
things and then you can tell our
new branded business. 

2175
01:58:56,520 --> 01:58:58,920
Well, I tell you what, I'm gonna
give that back to you and I'll 

2176
01:58:58,920 --> 01:59:02,880
tell you why this lady to mind 
that you did so much to put 

2177
01:59:02,880 --> 01:59:06,480
together the business structure,
the website, the name. 

2178
01:59:06,480 --> 01:59:11,040
She put all the work into that 
process, working to 2:00 in the 

2179
01:59:11,040 --> 01:59:13,080
morning, getting our website off
the ground. 

2180
01:59:13,200 --> 01:59:15,120
So it's yours. 
So go ahead, Floor. 

2181
01:59:15,720 --> 01:59:18,160
Our website together is 
Visionaries. 

2182
01:59:18,440 --> 01:59:21,080
I'm sorry, that's our business 
name and that visionaries of 

2183
01:59:21,080 --> 01:59:25,440
living in color, but the actual 
website islivingincolor.com. 

2184
01:59:26,280 --> 01:59:29,360
And so we went with Visionaries 
because we kind of are 

2185
01:59:29,480 --> 01:59:33,160
out-of-the-box thinkers and 
intellectuals and creators and 

2186
01:59:33,160 --> 01:59:34,680
living in color because we're 
interracial. 

2187
01:59:34,680 --> 01:59:36,880
But we also think that there's 
so many different shades of 

2188
01:59:36,880 --> 01:59:39,920
everything to live in, right? 
It's not black and white. 

2189
01:59:40,240 --> 01:59:42,200
Not black and white. 
And that includes lifestyle. 

2190
01:59:42,200 --> 01:59:45,160
That includes Straight, that 
includes Sisman. 

2191
01:59:45,680 --> 01:59:47,800
We're trans. 
We try to open ourselves up to 

2192
01:59:47,880 --> 01:59:50,240
everyone as they experience 
life. 

2193
01:59:50,520 --> 01:59:53,280
We'll help them in that 
experience and maybe next time 

2194
01:59:53,280 --> 01:59:57,120
we come on we can talk more 
about couples and cut holding 

2195
01:59:57,120 --> 02:00:00,200
and things like that. 
Absolutely. 

2196
02:00:00,760 --> 02:00:04,560
So we are going to do that. 
This will not be the first time 

2197
02:00:04,560 --> 02:00:07,720
that the last time that you hear
from this amazing couple. 

2198
02:00:08,200 --> 02:00:12,480
And I will say this, and I've 
said it before, there are a lot 

2199
02:00:12,480 --> 02:00:14,920
of people out there who are 
seeking counseling. 

2200
02:00:15,480 --> 02:00:18,280
From people who have not 
experienced the lifestyle 

2201
02:00:18,280 --> 02:00:22,680
themselves, these are counselors
who are actually active in the 

2202
02:00:22,680 --> 02:00:25,920
lifestyle and they've gone 
through therapist counselors. 

2203
02:00:25,920 --> 02:00:29,040
They've gone through what you're
going through and they're on 

2204
02:00:29,040 --> 02:00:32,360
their journey. 
So until the next time, thank 

2205
02:00:32,360 --> 02:00:35,480
you for joining Old Faces. 
I am your host, Mr. Mocha. 

2206
02:00:36,440 --> 02:00:37,520
Goodbye from the mochas.