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Hey there. 
It's Melissa. 

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Brunetti and welcome to the mind
your own Karma podcast. 

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Either Karma Cruise so glad 
you're with me today. 

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I know it is between Christmas 
and New Year's, but I had this 

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Revelation that kind of came up 
for me. 

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Watching my friend, do an 
Instagram Live this week and it 

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just gave me some ideas of some 
things that I wanted to bring to

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you. 
My friend is a fellow podcaster,

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her name is Nisha McKittrick and
her podcast is mindset. 

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Check and she was talking about 
the movie, It's a Wonderful Life

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and she was talking about 
George, the main character, how 

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he was super depressed and he 
was having money problems. 

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And just things were not right 
in his life and George had a 

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guardian angel and the angel was
told that George needed some 

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help. 
The angel was very concerned and

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the angel asked if George was 
sick. 

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And He was told, no, he's not 
sick, it's worse than being 

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sick. 
He's discouraged. 

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And it just made me think of so 
many adoptees during these 

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holiday times. 
How discouraged they are. 

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Because maybe they don't have 
family to go to maybe the 

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holidays are not a happy time 
for them. 

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And I just hate to think that 
there's so many adoptees out 

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there alone and feeling. 
So, I isolated during the 

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holidays, I even heard one. 
Adopt the kind of relate us as I

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think it was in Rudolph where 
they had the land of Misfit Toys

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and how this adoptee felt like, 
one of the misfit toys that 

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didn't fit in that wasn't good 
enough to be given as a gift to 

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the children. 
And even Rudolph himself, he was

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a loner. 
He was a loner because he had 

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this big red glowing nose and 
all the other reindeer made fun 

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of them. 
He didn't feel like he fit in 

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anywhere. 
But in the end this loners 

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bright red nose. 
What made him different from 

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everyone else? 
That was his superpower. 

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I mean, Christmas would have 
totally been canceled if it was 

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not for his red nose that made 
him, stand out. 

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So, I'm just wondering, what is 
your adoptees superpower? 

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We all have superpowers? 
All of us. 

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You were made for something. 
Great, something fulfilling. 

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Something that you can give the 
world because the world needs. 

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You just like George in a 
wonderful life. 

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He had it, he was done. 
He was done with life. 

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He wanted to end it all and he 
jumps in the water and the angel

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comes out and drags him out and 
then shows him this wonderful 

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movie which I wish we all could 
see for ourselves. 

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This wonderful movie of what 
life would have been like if you

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were not in it, It. 
What would it be like for 

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everyone around you? 
Sometimes we feel so 

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insignificant that we don't 
matter to anybody, but you do 

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and you don't even realize 
probably How you fit into 

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people's lives? 
What you do for other people in 

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your life, you have no clue half
the time, how you impact the 

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world and there's just there's 
so many gray Christmas stories 

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that come out at Christmas time 
that I have to always reflect on

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my favorite. 
One is the Grinch, the cartoon. 

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The Grinch, I love that 
character and I just love the 

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message in the Whole story. 
It's so great. 

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I mean, I was pondering why? 
The Grinch was so Grinchy, you 

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know? 
And so I went on and I forgot 

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that the who's in Whoville said 
that his heart was two sizes, 

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too small. 
Like maybe he was born that way,

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I don't know or life 
circumstances, shrunk, his heart

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to two sizes, too small, and 
maybe sometimes isn't it Do you 

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feel like your heart is two 
sizes, too small and in the Jim 

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Carrey version of the movie, 
they kind of told the story that

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the he was ridiculed as a child 
because he was different. 

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And so he isolate him to himself
on that hill. 

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And he lived up there where he 
could live in solitude and look 

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down at Who-ville and see 
everyone living happily down 

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there and while he was just 
boiling inside, watching them be

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so happy. 
And he was just so bitter about 

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his life and how he was treated 
that he became this miserable 

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curmudgeon up there, just 
wishing all bad things on 

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Who-ville and, you know, at the 
end Having learned that stealing

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the presents from Whoville and 
all their trees and ornaments 

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and everything. 
It didn't destroy the who's 

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fellowship and joy. 
He began to see the deeper 

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meaning of the holiday and he 
had a change of heart when he 

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returned. 
Our gifts, his heart grew, three

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sizes, if only it was that easy,
right? 

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And a half an hour, he, you 
know, changed his tune and 

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everything was great. 
That would be so easy. 

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But are you one of those 
adoptees that are the Grinch? 

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And you've isolated yourself 
because you've been hurt so much

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and that you really don't have 
anybody that you want to be 

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around, maybe you. 
You've been hurt by people even 

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family members and you just 
rather be isolated and alone 

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upon that mountain top like the 
Grinch and just kind of look 

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down and seeing life happen, but
you don't feel like you can join

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the party but like the Grinch 
sitting up on his Hill, looking 

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down at Whoville, would ruining 
Christmas really make the Grinch

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happy in the long run. 
No, it wouldn't have Since when 

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does hurting people feel good to
us just doesn't. 

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And even if he did ruin 
Christmas and felt like he got 

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Justice for whatever happened to
him, Justice doesn't heal 

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wounds. 
The wound is still there. 

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So yes, maybe in the moment 
feeling like you ruined, their 

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whole Christmas Day, gives you a
little satisfaction, but in the 

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end, it's not going to heal. 
What is actually going on with 

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you. 
Have you heard that saying, it's

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like drinking poison and hoping 
the other person dies, that's 

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what you're doing. 
You're really poisoning yourself

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and hoping that the other person
suffers and it just doesn't turn

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out. 
That way and it makes you feel 

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worse in the long run. 
And in the end, what I have 

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found personally that heals my 
wounds is change. 

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Change heals wounds and that 
change has to take place inside 

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of us. 
I mean until the Grinch realized

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that he needed to have a 
different Outlook and a 

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different feeling in his heart 
that he needed to change, he 

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needed to change, nothing was 
going to be different for him. 

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I'm sure you've heard that 
saying if you want a different 

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result than do something 
different if you don't like 

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something, then change it. 
If you can change it and if you 

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can't change it, then change 
your attitude. 

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Attitude and mindset is how we 
change our lives. 

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The Grinch was going to remain 
miserable and Grinchy until he 

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decided to change his heart and 
when he did it grew three sizes.

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You know why? 
Because the Grinch was finally 

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tired of his own shit and until 
you're tired of your own shit. 

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Nothing is going to change and 
there's some of you, you're not 

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ready to change and that's okay.
You don't have to be in that 

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spot, but if you are in the spot
where you're sick of where 

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you're at, and you're ready to 
do something, you're ready to 

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move. 
This is where change takes 

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place. 
Yes, your story might have been 

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horrific and maybe there are 
people that need to apologize to

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you. 
But what if that never happens. 

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What if it never happens. 
Are you going to stay locked in 

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misery and hate and 
discouragement? 

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Because how is that working for 
you right now? 

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You have to let it go. 
And I'm not saying that lightly 

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at all, but you have to do it 
for yourself. 

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You have to put everybody else 
out of your mind, they don't 

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matter. 
You can't control them. 

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The only one you can control is 
you and that's all you need. 

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Control over to change your 
life. 

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I believe in karma and things 
will always come around good or 

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bad. 
You might not see it, but it 

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will happen. 
I believe that. 

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And even if you don't believe 
that, it doesn't matter, it's 

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time to live a life that you 
love and the life. 

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If that you were put on this 
Earth to live, are you living 

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life right now? 
Or are you up on that mountain? 

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Like the Grinch looking down at 
life happening. 

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Are you miserable and stuck? 
You have that 

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get-out-of-jail-free card, you 
have the key to open the cell 

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door and free yourself and only 
you can do it. 

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Just like the Grinch did. 
I know, sometimes it feels like 

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you are letting people off the 
hook if you move on. 

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If you stop being angry with 
them. 

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But you have to get to the point
where that is just not your 

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focus. 
You are your focus. 

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Make that your resolution to 
come home to yourself. 

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This is my challenge to you my 
fellow adoptees. 

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Come home. 
If you're tired of being 

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miserable, you're tired of not 
living life authentically, 

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you're tired of being the 
Grinch. 

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You're tired of your own shit. 
Then it's time to come home. 

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It's time to make a move. 
It's time to change directions, 

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do something different to get a 
different outcome. 

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Make it your New Year's 
resolution to come home to 

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yourself. 
So, by now you're asking 

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yourself, that's great. 
I am tired of my own shit and 

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now, what do I do? 
So I have a tiny little hack 

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that I use. 
So what I have started to do 

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that helps me get out of a bad 
mood when I'm triggered, is 

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this? 
This is my secret weapon that 

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I'm going to share with you. 
When you feel like you are 

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triggered by something or 
someone, I want you to stop and 

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recognize it. 
But then instead of staying 

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triggered, I want you to get 
curious. 

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And what does that mean to get 
curious? 

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It means I want you to examine 
why you reacted the way you did.

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So instead of acting out I want 
you to reflect in Word. 

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And instead of pointing a finger
at someone or something, I want 

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you to look in the mirror and 
point the finger at yourself. 

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And then ask yourself. 
Why did that bother you? 

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What bothered me about that 
person or thing or whatever they

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said. 
And it may not be answered with 

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just one why you might have to 
ask five wise before you get to 

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the root of why. 
Keep asking why? 

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Because every time the answer 
goes a little deeper and 

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finally, you will have that aha 
moment that you probably never 

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even realized before because you
haven't gone that deep and ask 

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the question. 
So, keep asking yourself and I 

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can almost guarantee the real 
answer isn't what your first 

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reaction was. 
When you were triggered. 

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It's something totally 
different. 

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I bet the first reaction was 
that it was something outside of

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you but it's really something 
inside of you, not someone else.

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And until we are willing to look
inside of ourselves, which is 

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scary as hell, for some of us, 
but that's where we need to go. 

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You can do this. 
I am here for you. 

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I have done it. 
It's hard as hell. 

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I'm not going to lie, but damn, 
it's worth it. 

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Don't stay stuck on the hill 
alone. 

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Looking down at the world going 
by, you're missing out on life. 

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Decide to come down the hill and
join the party. 

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The world is waiting for you to 
show up. 

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It's time to make a move to do 
something different, so you can 

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experience a life that you love.
If you are truly stuck and you 

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feel like you cannot move, ask 
why? 

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And keep asking until you get to
that deep answer. 

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The root of it, because if you 
don't Don't, it's like that weed

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that you didn't dig all the way 
down and get to the tip of the 

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root where it's just going to 
grow back, bigger and stronger. 

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Every time until you do, dig all
the way down and get all of the 

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route. 
That's what you need to do, dig 

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all the way down. 
It's not pretty your hands are 

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going to get muddy and dirts 
going to get in your 

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fingernails. 
And that's what you need to do. 

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Are you ready to fight for 
yourself? 

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Are you ready to get your life 
back? 

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Stop giving your pen to everyone
else to write your story. 

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It is your autobiography. 
Why are you allowing others to 

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write the chapters? 
You can't go back and rewrite 

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what's already written but you 
can take your pen back. 

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And be the hero in your own 
story. 

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No one is going to save you in 
this search for yourself. 

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You have to fight this battle. 
There is support out there for 

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you and if you need help with 
that reach out to me and I will 

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do my best to help you as 
someone that's gone through it. 

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There are tons of support groups
out there and there's always 

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professional help. 
Do not feel like you can't reach

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out to the resources that are 
out there for you. 

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I'm going to end this podcast 
with a little song, But first, I

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just want to thank everyone for 
listening one. 

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Again, this past year has been 
amazing, and I have so much for 

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you this coming year, so much. 
So stay tuned because I have 

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tons of interviews for you. 
That you are just going to love.

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If you are ready to tell your 
adoption experience on the 

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podcast, get a hold of me at 
mind. 

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Your own Karma at gmail.com. 
Let's get your story on the 

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podcast. 
Let's educate the world with 

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Your journey, that is how we do 
it. 

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If you would like to give me a 
belated, Christmas present, you 

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can like, share and review and 
even subscribe to the podcast in

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hopes that adoptees and other 
people that need to hear this 

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podcast, will be able to find 
it. 

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I'm going to end this podcast 
with this classic Christmas song

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that everybody knows it's 
called. 

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I'll Be Home for Christmas. 
But when you hear it this time, 

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When you listen, I want you to 
make it personal. 

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I want you to sing it to 
yourself. and when it says, I'm 

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Dreaming tonight of a place, I 
love That place is you. 

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And when it says, I promise you,
I will be home for Christmas. 

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You are making that promise to 
yourself. 

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You owe it to yourself to come 
home. 

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Has always take what you need 
and leave what you don't and 

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always remember to mind your own
Karma. 

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I'll see you next time. 
Oh my gosh, Tomlin. 

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Are you serious? 
This is what I put up with guys.