Hey there. It's Melissa.
Brunetti and welcome to the mind your own Karma podcast.
Hey, their karma crew. Welcome to another week of mind.
Your own Karma. Thank you so much for tuning in
today. I have another adopt D story for
you. I will be introducing you to
Dana oh Zack today. And what I love about Dana's
story is the positive spin of the adoptive parents, she had
great adoptive parents. The other interesting thing in
this story is Dana Also had great reunions although there
was some twists and turns that you will learn about in the
episode, she's had a pretty great adoption experience all
the way around. Let me tell you a little more
about Dana. Dana was born at st.
John's Hospital in Cleveland in 1973, she was adopted through
Catholic Charities in November of that.
Same year, her adoption was never kept a secret from her,
but she still wondered where she came from.
She was able to find Biological mother's name after the state of
Ohio released her original birth certificate.
Sadly, she also found out her biological mother had passed
away, and there was no birth father listed on her birth
certificate. The journey to find her
biological father and uncover the truth about her past, with
Centre, through a roller coaster of emotions, ultimately it led
her to positive connections with her younger, maternal
half-sister, biological father and for young half-brothers,
here is my View with Dana. Oh Zach.
We are welcoming Dana. Oh, Zach to the show today.
Welcome, Dana, how are you? Hello, I'm doing great.
Good. I know you have a few
interesting twist to your story, but let's just start with.
Do you know why you were put up for adoption.
I have guesses and estimations, but I don't know for sure.
Unfortunately, my biological mother passed away from ALS Lou
Gehrig's Disease before I even do.
Aim. So it's like, I've never really
know. You were told some things
though, or. Yeah.
When my biological father met me for the first time, he told me
that when he last met her, she was pregnant with me and she
flat-out told him that she was going to give me up for
adoption. And that that's worry about
because the baby wasn't his and, and he thinks that she could
have possibly thought that. The baby was his because the
timeline everything, but I don't think she even knew for sure.
So, mmm. Okay.
And why did your adoptive parents decide to adopt?
Well, my mom had supper three miscarriages, okay?
And she was told that she wouldn't be able to have
children at all. So they went through.
I'm Catholic Charities and everything.
I think just before 2 days, before my mom's birthday, they
got a call that said, hey, we have a child reviewing
everything. When it comes fear, in my mom's
over, you're like, yeah, definitely.
So my mom and dad went to go see me and they brought me home on
your birthday. No, wow.
I never were able to have children.
Actually, they did three years later.
My mom got pregnant, and the social worker contact her.
Again, she goes, you know, I know that you had another
application, and I know that you wanted to give your daughter a
sister, a brother sibling and P node.
Are you ready, do you want another child?
And my mom said, well, I'm pregnant.
I know if I can and social worker goes well, I know that
you've had problems having children past, I'll just kind of
slide your application at the bottom of the pile.
I want you to call me when this baby's born and my mom did call
her and she came out to see. Both me and my sister, my sister
was born. So I have a sister that's three
years part and after that my mom thought that she was done, it
was just going to be two girls, but seven years after that.
My mom too kind of claims has like a little bit of New Year's
Eve. Why she got it again?
And the brother, that's 11 years younger than me.
So, I was the only one to adopted my sister and brother
were poor for naturally. I guess you could say something.
Wow. So, how was that growing up?
Being the only one, that was adopted.
Did you feel different? My parents go.
They never treated me. Like, I was differently.
They always treated me. Like I was their daughter and
everything growing up, like we were doing the Troopers, did
kicks everything, you know. I think because I was adopted
liver, think they always kind of tried to tell me.
It's like, yeah, the thing that some adoptive parents will say
in everything, I do your special, we chose you and
everything, you know, but they never treated me any different
other than that. Hmm.
And also, when I grew up like after sister to a little bit,
like my outfit Optimum a little bit like my sister too, and I
would have tell people telling me there's no way that you're
adopted. You look too much like your mom.
And yeah, there's no way. I feel like, well, that's kind
of cool though. I guess you did have a little
bit of mirroring even though it wasn't biological.
Yeah. So sounds like you had a pretty
good childhood growing up, then good adoptive parents and family
household with parents, you know your adoptive parents had a good
upbringing. I did, that's great.
So what was it like growing up then know different maybe a
little bit different. I went to Catholic grade school
and I I was kind of bullying, a little big for being adopted.
Well, like I said, I had people tell me that there's no way that
you're adopted. You look too much like licking
rest of your family and everything.
And I had one boy in my class told me.
Well, if you're adopted, I want to see proof of it.
I was like ten years old at the time.
So I asked my mom will see anything.
On my birth certificate. Don't see what I was stopped and
she goes, Dana, you know what? You shouldn't, give it to him
and everything you should just pay, it's like tease them back.
Rebecca, you're asking for proof is on birth, right?
It's like, hey, you know, I was 10 years old, I was dying.
If I wanted to prove to this idiot that I was actually
adopted. So she got me on my birth
certificate. And she explained to me, that
what I had was an amended birth certificate and 1970s in Ohio,
they changed it and they were the names of the adoptive
parent, right? And I'm over here, I'm like,
okay, you know, if there's, I can't show this to him and she
goes well, if you really Want to, I do have the core papers
from your adoption but it's like after that I just figured, you
know, I'd do anything to prove to him but when I look at the
paper, the document I just felt as much as I love my mom.
And yet, this is the LIE. Yeah, this is the truth and if I
ever wanted to find my biological parents, how am I
going to do that? Because there's no names,
there's nothing you know. Yeah.
Did you ever get your original birth certificate?
I did in 2015, the state of Ohio.
The law that adoptees between like the 60s and the other way
up to nineteen eighties could send like a certified letter and
I think for like 10 bucks, you could send away for your
original birth certificate. And when I heard about the first
thing I did was call my parents because I didn't want to do
anything to hurt them. And my mom goes, they not a
always scared that this time would come.
And she goes, if you wanted to go for it and everything, I'm
behind you, 100%. She also told me of, if she were
in my shoes, she wouldn't do too.
So, I started my own son dollars and two years later and like,
2016-2017 I got my original birth certificate.
Wow, what was that? Like, you're wrecking thrilling,
you know, exciting. I finally had the name for my
biological mother and my husband who had been supportive of me
like from day one, everything he goes well with Kevin a know, why
don't we like Google it and see what we can find and the first
thing that Found was to Rob see your picture, and I was just in
shock. The face is exactly.
Like my even the hairstyle was exactly like mine.
Wow. It was just like looking in a
mirror. The second thing that we found
was her obituary. Yeah.
Oh my gosh. How did that feel heartbreaking?
Yeah, I'm over here. Looking up the I'm never gonna
know. I'm dived.
Have so many questions for a never going to be able to ask
her under the obituary. Three.
I saw that. I have an aunt that was still
living and I had a half sister. Oh wow, some were relocated.
Should I read talk to them? What I do and my husband's are
really well, why don't you try? See if he could find your deaf
sister on Facebook. See if you can find anything
about your aunt or Facebook. Why don't you just look?
So I am I did find my half sister Juliana.
I sent her a message on Facebook, I don't even know she
had forgot the first message because I never heard anything.
Back from her. And then with my aunt, I found
out that she was living in Lakewood and I did a little
snooping through the Cuyahoga County voter records because I
knew that you could search for by address and everything.
I found her address and we're like well so I write her a
letter, I'd caught about it for like a minute, least like a good
year and then in 2017 that I just started, you know, if I'm
gonna contact her, I have to do it now.
So that was my only resolution that Eric's.
Like, I'm going to write a note to my aunt.
I'm going to introduce myself and if I hear back from her
wonderful, if I don't it's okay. But I have to at least try.
So I got the feedback from some family and friends and
everything. Sent the letter back and she
called me the day that she got it and my heart just doing some
really does she know about you. She suspected, she was a lot
younger than my age. And she suspected and she gave
me the name of a possible biological father because his
name wasn't on the birth certificate at all.
It was blank. Yeah.
It was like, oh wow. So by that time, I had asked my
husband if I could get on the ancestry DNA thing because I
figured since there's no name on there, may be the next best
chance of finding my biological father is to do that again.
Hmm. So I didn't get any matches like
right off the bat. I use the The name that my
eventual gave me and I searched the ancestry DNA based on
everything and found out that that gentleman had passed away
too. So, I'm over here, like, okay,
what do I do now? Both my parents are gone.
You know, how old were they, when they passed?
Um, my biological mom was 60, she was in her 60s.
Okay. So it's this recent that you
start searching how long ago was this?
Pretty recent because it's like we've prior to getting my
original birth certificate. I didn't even know where to
start. I don't know what to do, you
know. Yeah, interesting.
Yeah, my biological father. He was meeting in his 50s.
Okay, well those here's the twist.
So did you meet your half-sister?
Then, after that, and It's a little bit time for drilling or
another kind of warm up to me, because I look a lot like our
mother and everything and she thought that she was the only
child for years. Yeah.
Oh she didn't know about you, then she had no idea.
Wow. Yeah I can see that being kind
of Blindsided in like really are you and you know, all the
questions like I don't know if you've had this conversation
with her, but how did she feel about your mom not telling her?
I think she thought that her mom had girl reasons for not telling
me and I talked to like a family friends and Son everything and
our mother was very concerned about what other people thought
about her. She didn't want Julian isn't
think anything less of me for giving me up.
So, let's see. You know, I'm thinking that's
why she is the way she didn't tell her.
Yeah. So how did it go with your aunt?
Then sounded pretty positive. Yeah, we called each other a
couple times. Times everything we didn't meet
until like, maybe about. I want to see like ten months
later, we finally got together and went person.
And she told me stories about my family, everything, my
grandfather, her dad was in the Navy was pharmaceutical
salesman, but he also told me that he was a wonderful artist
and my kiddos and artists to like constantly like drawing and
and I like to draw too, but she told me, you liked the story
that they had, they were always in red.
Holmes growing up and they were just getting ready to move out
of like one holding everything and pretty and my grandpa just
decorated like the walls of this house before they were getting
ready to leave with like all these silly, goofy, characters
and everything. And then also pumped out that my
my biology or maternal. Grandmother is a school teacher
and I'm schoolteacher. Now at preschool teacher, so
welcome interests. So, you know, it's like even
though I never met them, they passed away to.
I just felt like I had this connection to them, right?
So, what happened to your dad side then?
Okay. So, um, I had met several
people, the family, everything my aunt, Susie on have passed
away, but her first husband reached out to me and we got
together for dinner, everything. He was very interested in like
genealogy told me. It's some awesome family,
stories, everything to and you can add a family tree that he
had / now for me. I'm really glad this is cool.
T traced are like this I find all the way back to Ernest
Hemingway. It's very very distant cousin.
So it's like, oh, wow. But then, when I showed him, my
DNA profile, he like looked at it, and he thought that if the
guy that Aunt Jill told me was my biological father, I would
have had more Serbian because he was directly from Serbia, and
so, he didn't tell me right away.
He actually, Called me at the urging of the second wife and
told me, it's like, taking AA know how to tell you this.
But if made it was really your father, you would have had you
more Eastern European, right? Then we'll be like, okay, so
what do I do with this information?
So, for the heck of a, I check my DNA profile again and I had
parent-child manage. Oh, wow.
Yeah, right after I check that, wow, yeah.
Like little clues for me. Everything he left me the clue
behind to his LinkedIn profile. I got to see a picture of him
and then I called some, my little Steve, the guy, they went
out to dinner with them. Give me the family tree and
everything. And we're like I have here a
child yet. Ryona what to do, you know, how
do I contact him? Does he even know anything about
me and I'll go see if those dated you want me to call him
for you? Oh nice.
Yes, please. And so Uncle Steve call them for
me, maybe. Be five days afterwards, Uncle
Steve's wife, Elizabeth called me and she goes Dana I didn't
learn Chinese at the time everything and she goes I don't
want you to talk because it's like I know that the truth
return and now that you're just going over later and I guess,
but I just want to let you know that Uncle Steve called they
talked to your birth father. He always kind of sort of knew
about you. He wants to call you once to
contact you but he wants Tell everybody in the family first
because you have four half-brothers through him.
Wow, that's great, though. Because there's I've heard so
many stories where the biological parent, you know,
wanted to meet their child but hadn't told anybody and still
wanted to continue to keep it as a secret and not tell anybody.
So that's very thoughtful and you know of him to consider that
and want to do that first and then bring you in.
I think he told us about everybody in the family before
he called me and told me I talked to him on the very first
day on st. Patrick's Day 2017.
So I always remembered and everything, it's like that's
that's the anniversary of the first day.
They talk to him. It's like, we have our own
little family group where I talked to him, his wife, all for
my half-brothers. We have her only text group and
like every year, it's like I'm really happy anniversary.
So it's like that's always been my lucky day.
Like, I felt like I live in the inaugural.
Yeah. So you met your brother's your
half-brothers then? Yep.
Um, he met everybody. My hip one of my half-brother
flips and Key West. Well, he looked in Key West when
I first met him and everything. When I first wanted, first are
talking to move to Orlando recently, but he was probably
like his youngest in the family, everything and the most
outgoing. And kindest guy I've ever met
he's gay when you called me the first thing that he said Dana,
you have no idea how much I've always wanted a sister, it was
very hard for going up in a house will call guys being gay
going skating on my sister they told him well you got me forever
now he's the youngest youngest he's the baby of the family.
Are you the oldest or did with her kids?
The oldest lived in Minnesota. And then Jason actually has a
twin Jeremy. So I have twin brothers.
Okay but are you older than all the boys?
I'm older than all the place. Okay.
So I'm the oldest of everybody. So how was it meeting?
Your dad. Have you met him in person?
He was when I first met Sarah talking to, everybody.
My youngest brother was in the process of getting married and
he invited me to the wedding but I didn't think That can make in
everything, given her to arrange it all the way down to Key West
and we live in Ohio and everything.
Yeah, still my father lives up in Minnesota and he called me
and he goes, well, we're going to be driving down to Key West
for Jason's wedding. And he goes, do you want us to
meet up like along the way you want me to do more, really kiss?
Definitely, and I was all excited.
I told my husband and he kind of tease me a little bit and it
goes well we should meet your biological father.
You would just be too happy. So, that's when you met him was
on the drive. That's when we went out to
dinner. I got to meet his.
It was actually, his wife's idea to drive through Ohio, to meet
me because she found her biological father herself.
Later in life, she was actually older kid growing up with a
stepfather and everything and she didn't find her biological
father and was until she was older.
And she told him, it's like Jay, we have to do this, we have to
meet your daughter. Daughter because she knew what
was like, you know. So yeah so it's like I was
really blessed in that respect to that's cool that's one way to
get to know someone is on a road trip.
Oh yeah, you guys better get along and you got to meet
everybody at the wedding and I had to be like a huge family
reunions, all of a sudden, go for the bait on their own, I
wasn't able to like get up at the time off for work and
everything, okay. So they drove We met up for
dinner. We went for like a nice little
walk, just me and him and everything.
He told me about what I told you about, how he met my biological
mom for lunch and she told them don't worry about this business.
Not yours. Yeah, just pretty much come out
the equation. Yeah, so, but it kind of sounds
like he had a feeling that he was your dad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, how's the relationships with
everyone else? Still get it.
Sounds like it is. I just talked.
Talk to both of my youngest half-brothers this morning.
I called them because their grandfather on their mom's side
of the family and passed away. So it's like when they saw their
when you recharge them and just make sure that they were okay.
And yeah. And yeah, I think I'm probably
closest to the Quinns. I think April.
It was an April 1st. We all went to my oldest half
brother's wedding. Everybody else was too that
everything in and it was wonderful.
When I feel like I'm a part of the family.
Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like you're
pretty close to your dad's side. What about your biological mom
side? Is there, like, not that many
relatives on that side. Side, your aunt and sister and A
couple cousins. I don't hear from them as much
as I would like to and Juliana two years ago, we made a road
trip. I asked her if it was okay if we
if we made road to Vacation although we have to Colorado to
meet her and she's a really kissing with love man.
So I'm good we made the trip. We went out to dinner the day
before my birthday. She gave me a cute little card
and everything and Esther. I'm a really care.
I Love Sushi and everything. And she actually likes sushi
too. So we found like a cute little
sushi place and just sat and talked and we had a whole
conversation about Tim Burton movies.
I didn't doubt that she likes her paper holidays Halloween
cheat has been a little spooky side that I had when I was
growing up and it seemed like nobody else in the family, did
you know? Yeah, I know that feeling.
I just want to go back to your childhood for a second.
Did you say that your adoptive mom made you two first?
Cakes. Yo, and her birthday because she
got me on her birthday, everything she would make up
everything for her and then kind of like a got you a cake to
celebrate. You don't like both stuff.
Yeah, so looking back. When did you learn that?
You were adopted like you always knew or yeah.
Yeah. So growing up knowing you were
adopted. Did you see any Tendencies or
even in your teenage years? Here's that you can look back
and say, oh, I had trouble attaching because I was adopted
or tendencies that could stem from being adopted maybe a
little bit like in the fact that like I was bullied like a little
bit high school. It's hard to talk about, but for
a time, I was actually a wrist cutter.
Mmm. Yeah, yeah.
And I thought that like, by doing that, they would get the
bullies to stop. Yeah.
And then I actually had a friend that did commit suicide and and
see it. In it.
So it's after they happen, I cut it out, I just stopped.
Wow, if I cut my wrists to car, if I actually broke a babe, you
know, it's like I couldn't do that to my friends and family.
Just scares you. Yeah, yeah.
And how about, like growing up as a teenager or young adult?
Were you able to connect when you start dating, when you met
your husband? Were you able to connect easily,
or do you see some Tendencies there that adoption might play a
role in your relationships? I was definitely able to connect
with my husband everything but when we are getting everything
it's like I keep some stuff to myself and everything.
I know I keep some things in because I'm afraid that if I
bring out and everything I'm afraid of like the reaction so
that's like the biggest thing. They always tells me that Dana
why didn't you tell me that sooner?
Why didn't I remember? Like, I don't know, I just keep
it outside, you know, it's right.
So yeah. So So let's talk about the fog
for a second. Were you ever in the fog?
Are you still in the fog? If you come out of the fog, you
use that term at all? I don't think I was her father.
When I was younger, is like a older and the biggest perk of
being in fog. They found myself with now, when
everything is, I feel like I was skipped out of a lot of things
with my half brothers and my half-sister, they never got to
see my kid Owen. When he was growing up
everything. It's like I just feel like I was
totally dipped out of that. You don't like They missed out
on so much because we were denied access to everything.
So that's part of the fog. I guess you could say that they
see myself in right now. Yeah.
So, do you feel like your half-siblings, you have that
sibling Bond, like you do with the siblings that you grew up
with? Do you feel like you have that
same Bond even though you didn't grow up together?
I think I have maybe to be honest, little bit more of a
more of with the siblings that they're going to grow up with
that. You didn't grow up with.
Okay. I'm very, very close to my
paternal. Twin brothers, I've gotten
closer with Julian just since we've actually met in person,
but right now, it's hard to get together with my sister,
everything. My adopted sister only loves
like 20 minutes away from me, but she's always busy.
She's got things going on and it's hard for me to get together
and Hang out with her and then my youngest my youngest brother.
It's hard. He looks all the way up in
Louisiana. I was able to see him when my
oldest brother got married and everything because they only
live, maybe about like 20 minutes, half an hour away.
So we got to drive down - spend time with both of my brothers,
which was awesome. Yeah, nice.
Yeah. Nice because I know sometimes
adoptees because you don't grow up with those siblings, it can
be hard to connect with them so that's great that you're able to
make that connection. Action without having that
growing up experience. I think a lot of those because
my brothers have all been like open and honest with me and
Julie has been open and honest with me everything to do what
they've shared pictures with me. They've shared stories think to
be with Giuliana so yeah and that does help because a lot of
times the communications not there so if you have that I
think that is huge. Yeah it does really help.
So do you think I'm going to ask you?
I don't know if you did. Consider yourself having the
Primal wound because it sounds like you had a great upbringing
and everything. But do you think that you ever
had the Primal wound and do you think that we can heal from the
Primal wound? I think we can heal from the
Primal would I he hasn't maybe a little bit never think.
I don't think I ever felt it like growing up and everything
just because I had the wonderful relationship with My adoptive
families. Yeah but no because I don't have
my mother in my life anymore. If it's fair it hurts because
there's so many questions that I would love to ask her.
Yeah, so many things that I don't have answers to.
So now I think I feel it more than because I don't have her
anymore. So yeah.
So what's helped you personally in dealing with your Primal
wound or any adoption trauma that you have or had what do you
use to get through that and cope maybe your art and what else
you're working in right journaling.
Talking to like family and friends and everything and you
know just having the support of my family of both families of My
adoptive, family of my biological family, everything
just having them to talk to and know that they will be there to
support me everything and then writing.
I've been working my Memoir, everything like writing all that
stuff down. It's like just like one big
journal for me, you know. Yeah, I was gonna ask you if you
were doing that with all your journals, how long have you been
writing? since I was maybe about like,
Eight or nine years old. Oh wow, do you have all of those
journals still? I have my the with my teenagers,
I saved his life, just like reading and how.
It's like, wow, anybody else? So the other question I have for
you is what would you tell struggling, adoptees, what would
you want them to know to help them?
I would want them. To do with it, even if it seems
like it's hopeless, like you're never going to find like
anything about your past. Anything about your biological
family to not give up, you know, just try every up and you're
trying, any aspect, everything know, if you haven't got the DNA
records like right away. Everything, you know, just keep
looking because you never know what can pop up.
Like what happened with my biological father and
everything, I know. Yeah.
So so you have a website, tell About that I do it's called a
girl for families.com. I have a Blog that goes along
with it and they just recently started working on each.
One of the family pages, I have like pictures up the doctrine
from different family members a little bit of little stories
about how I met them how I connected with them.
I care about a couple resources for adoptees someone is
searching everything. Yeah, so for families, so
meaning Or to biological parents and then the two families from
your adoptive parents. Well in the nose, so my berry
family of okay, so yes. So the family that got to me the
family, they married in two and then my two biological families.
Okay? So you have like a Blog about
each family? Yep.
Just like a page for a tablet. Mmm.
And what about your art? Do you have your art up there,
as well? I have the book cover for my
book example, in watercolors, everything in the my kiddo.
I actually encourage me like, Mom, why don't you just make
your own? But covering everything.
I know that you love to do though.
So it's like, yeah, sure. And then I'll probably, like,
post more pictures. I've done up there and
everything to do so, have you done a manuscript?
Then as it turned in or you working on it?
Or it's still a work in progress?
Get this recently, I started going back to school.
I am in the process of getting my Bachelor's degree in early
childhood education. So a couple months homework kind
of occupied my time. In addition, I work full-time
everything, I work full-time as a preschool teacher so it's like
I really didn't have a lot of time, Sit Down, You're right.
So that kind of got pushed by the wayside but this number is
like you know I don't have any homework doing going on, I can
bring on the weekends, I can work on my website and the
weekend so I could dedicate more time Time so that it.
So yeah, I can definitely relate because I'm in school to working
doing the podcast. I feel like I have a huge plate
as well. So I'm totally relating to you
right now. Are you involved in any adoptee
groups on Facebook or anywhere? I went to see you look at least
like four different groups on Facebook.
Someone might just kind of follow some of them sometimes
Something. Do you find this helpful at all?
I do? Yeah, I did too.
To help them function, with other adoptees.
Everything's to know that there's other people out there
like me. And so, yeah, I know growing up.
It feels like you're the only one.
I don't know if I know I had a neighbor that was adopted.
She didn't find out till later like, in high school, so, but
she was probably the only other adoptee.
Well, I'm sure there was more but, you know, I don't talk
about it. Look at my best.
His friends growing up was adapted my friend Kelly.
Wow, with the original birth certificates came out, we both
decided the same time I called Kelly and over for you.
Like, do you want to do? And she goes yet, she has made
you wanted, and she goes. Yeah, so we both did it and well
my biological mother's name was pretty uncommon.
Hers was Susan, Kent, and she didn't think that you would ever
find anything out about it like after all this happened.
After I finally met My brother's everything I still had access to
my ancestry. Can I still at the paid account?
Someone really just for the heck of it, I'm going to search
through the and see what I can find.
And I found her half-brother and then I reached out to him for
her and he reached back and he sent a picture of their mother
and it was just like looking at me or it's like killing my gosh.
So I helped her find her mother too and it's like the you know,
that was awesome. Logical mother had passed away
too. Oh God.
Yeah. Right.
Oh gosh, did you on your original birth certificate, did
you? Did they name you something
different? None of the original birth
certificate on the, on the other adoption record.
She gave me Marie and I always knew there was something with
Catholic Charities, they give you non-identifying information
and They told my parents that they named me Marie, the
information that they gave me on my biological mother was pretty
correct but the admission that they gave me on my biological.
Father was way. Are they told me he was there?
He worked. I think the janitor at the
college that she was going to and that it was married to
another man and that goes more with what the research that I
did and I'm a name that my aunt Jill gave me.
So I think that when she gave me a her Adoption.
She really thought that this other guy was my father.
Yeah, so she gave him all that information.
Yep. It's got passed on to you which
wasn't true thinking that that other guy was your biological
father. Did you meet anybody on that
side or get in contact with anybody on that side?
No, because once I found out, they passed away, it's like I
didn't wanna. And plus I did find his marriage
certificate still, he was married.
I didn't know how to do that. Yeah, that's gonna be kind of
sticky. Several, well, good thing, you
didn't because it turned out, he wasn't so good.
I know that would have been horrible, like, trying to
connect with these people and thinking that and then finding
out later that that wasn't true. I've heard that story to a
couple times, it's not that's horrible.
Well, we'll put your links to a girl in four families in the
show notes. If anybody wants to check that
out, they can. And is there anything else that
you wanted to say before we close?
We cover everything not really? Yeah I think I got everything.
I have been following like some of the different state to state
fights for to get the original birth certificates, released and
everything and I definitely am a 100% Advocate more because
that's without that paper. I wouldn't have ever found my
family. So yeah, I'm in California so we
don't get that much. I'm so surprised because we're
just so So you know, open about everything else.
I'm surprised that they're one of the states that are still
not. There's there's probably about
like 34 of them that still are in the dark when it comes to
that. So yeah, yeah.
Well thanks so much Dana for coming on the show today.
You're welcome. It was wonderful to meet you
Miss Lilly. What a great story.
I just love hearing how hurry Union is going so great and how
she feels so close to her siblings.
You don't hear that very often. So I just love hearing that part
of her story and I love the fact that she's not afraid to say
that her adoption Journey went. Well there's so many adoptees
that have a great adoption and positive adoption story and
they're afraid to say anything because So many do not have that
story and a lot of people don't want to come on the podcast that
have positive stories because they feel like it needs to be
drama and have all this strife and discomfort in it and it
doesn't no matter what. Your adoption story was contact,
me. And let's get your story on the
podcast. Let's educate the world about
adoption your story, whatever the circumstances, whatever the
story needs to be told so that other Stop.
These can hear it and say me to that feeling of community that
we adopt, these have is so important to all of us, not only
in our healing but just to be able to talk to one another,
someone that understands what we're talking about in the way
that we're talking about it. So if you've been thinking about
coming on the podcast, send me an email, at mind your own Karma
at gmail.com, and let's do it. Let's tell.
Your story. Someone out there is waiting to
hear it. If you are looking to connect
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That is the best way to do it. As always, take what you need
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