1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:01,200 Hey there. It's Melissa. 2 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,700 Brunetti and welcome to the mind your own Karma podcast. 3 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,500 Hey, their karma crew. Welcome to another week of mind. 4 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:21,600 Your own Karma. Thank you so much for tuning in 5 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:24,900 today. I have another adopt D story for 6 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,800 you. I will be introducing you to 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,300 Dana oh Zack today. And what I love about Dana's 8 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:35,300 story is the positive spin of the adoptive parents, she had 9 00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:40,000 great adoptive parents. The other interesting thing in 10 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:45,900 this story is Dana Also had great reunions although there 11 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:48,300 was some twists and turns that you will learn about in the 12 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:52,600 episode, she's had a pretty great adoption experience all 13 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,600 the way around. Let me tell you a little more 14 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,200 about Dana. Dana was born at st. 15 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,200 John's Hospital in Cleveland in 1973, she was adopted through 16 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,099 Catholic Charities in November of that. 17 00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:07,800 Same year, her adoption was never kept a secret from her, 18 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,100 but she still wondered where she came from. 19 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:14,200 She was able to find Biological mother's name after the state of 20 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,000 Ohio released her original birth certificate. 21 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,700 Sadly, she also found out her biological mother had passed 22 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:23,600 away, and there was no birth father listed on her birth 23 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,900 certificate. The journey to find her 24 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:29,400 biological father and uncover the truth about her past, with 25 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,100 Centre, through a roller coaster of emotions, ultimately it led 26 00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:35,800 her to positive connections with her younger, maternal 27 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:40,300 half-sister, biological father and for young half-brothers, 28 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,100 here is my View with Dana. Oh Zach. 29 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,900 We are welcoming Dana. Oh, Zach to the show today. 30 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,100 Welcome, Dana, how are you? Hello, I'm doing great. 31 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,700 Good. I know you have a few 32 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:57,600 interesting twist to your story, but let's just start with. 33 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,300 Do you know why you were put up for adoption. 34 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:08,000 I have guesses and estimations, but I don't know for sure. 35 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,200 Unfortunately, my biological mother passed away from ALS Lou 36 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,900 Gehrig's Disease before I even do. 37 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,900 Aim. So it's like, I've never really 38 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,700 know. You were told some things 39 00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,800 though, or. Yeah. 40 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:25,200 When my biological father met me for the first time, he told me 41 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:30,800 that when he last met her, she was pregnant with me and she 42 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,200 flat-out told him that she was going to give me up for 43 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,700 adoption. And that that's worry about 44 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:43,300 because the baby wasn't his and, and he thinks that she could 45 00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:46,500 have possibly thought that. The baby was his because the 46 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,400 timeline everything, but I don't think she even knew for sure. 47 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,200 So, mmm. Okay. 48 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,500 And why did your adoptive parents decide to adopt? 49 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:59,500 Well, my mom had supper three miscarriages, okay? 50 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,100 And she was told that she wouldn't be able to have 51 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:05,300 children at all. So they went through. 52 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,100 I'm Catholic Charities and everything. 53 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:12,100 I think just before 2 days, before my mom's birthday, they 54 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:14,600 got a call that said, hey, we have a child reviewing 55 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,100 everything. When it comes fear, in my mom's 56 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,600 over, you're like, yeah, definitely. 57 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,000 So my mom and dad went to go see me and they brought me home on 58 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,900 your birthday. No, wow. 59 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,000 I never were able to have children. 60 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,600 Actually, they did three years later. 61 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:33,000 My mom got pregnant, and the social worker contact her. 62 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,100 Again, she goes, you know, I know that you had another 63 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,500 application, and I know that you wanted to give your daughter a 64 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:40,700 sister, a brother sibling and P node. 65 00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:43,000 Are you ready, do you want another child? 66 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:46,000 And my mom said, well, I'm pregnant. 67 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,300 I know if I can and social worker goes well, I know that 68 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:54,000 you've had problems having children past, I'll just kind of 69 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,600 slide your application at the bottom of the pile. 70 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:00,900 I want you to call me when this baby's born and my mom did call 71 00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:04,000 her and she came out to see. Both me and my sister, my sister 72 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000 was born. So I have a sister that's three 73 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,300 years part and after that my mom thought that she was done, it 74 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,900 was just going to be two girls, but seven years after that. 75 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,300 My mom too kind of claims has like a little bit of New Year's 76 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,700 Eve. Why she got it again? 77 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,000 And the brother, that's 11 years younger than me. 78 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,300 So, I was the only one to adopted my sister and brother 79 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:30,000 were poor for naturally. I guess you could say something. 80 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,000 Wow. So, how was that growing up? 81 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,700 Being the only one, that was adopted. 82 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,700 Did you feel different? My parents go. 83 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:38,100 They never treated me. Like, I was differently. 84 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,500 They always treated me. Like I was their daughter and 85 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,400 everything growing up, like we were doing the Troopers, did 86 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:48,000 kicks everything, you know. I think because I was adopted 87 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,900 liver, think they always kind of tried to tell me. 88 00:04:49,907 --> 00:04:52,700 It's like, yeah, the thing that some adoptive parents will say 89 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,700 in everything, I do your special, we chose you and 90 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,700 everything, you know, but they never treated me any different 91 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,100 other than that. Hmm. 92 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,500 And also, when I grew up like after sister to a little bit, 93 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,800 like my outfit Optimum a little bit like my sister too, and I 94 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,900 would have tell people telling me there's no way that you're 95 00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:12,200 adopted. You look too much like your mom. 96 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:17,900 And yeah, there's no way. I feel like, well, that's kind 97 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,200 of cool though. I guess you did have a little 98 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,300 bit of mirroring even though it wasn't biological. 99 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,600 Yeah. So sounds like you had a pretty 100 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:29,300 good childhood growing up, then good adoptive parents and family 101 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:32,800 household with parents, you know your adoptive parents had a good 102 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:36,100 upbringing. I did, that's great. 103 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:40,400 So what was it like growing up then know different maybe a 104 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,600 little bit different. I went to Catholic grade school 105 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:48,500 and I I was kind of bullying, a little big for being adopted. 106 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:52,000 Well, like I said, I had people tell me that there's no way that 107 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,700 you're adopted. You look too much like licking 108 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:55,100 rest of your family and everything. 109 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,100 And I had one boy in my class told me. 110 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,700 Well, if you're adopted, I want to see proof of it. 111 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,500 I was like ten years old at the time. 112 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,300 So I asked my mom will see anything. 113 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,800 On my birth certificate. Don't see what I was stopped and 114 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,300 she goes, Dana, you know what? You shouldn't, give it to him 115 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,000 and everything you should just pay, it's like tease them back. 116 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,900 Rebecca, you're asking for proof is on birth, right? 117 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,800 It's like, hey, you know, I was 10 years old, I was dying. 118 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,100 If I wanted to prove to this idiot that I was actually 119 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,400 adopted. So she got me on my birth 120 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,100 certificate. And she explained to me, that 121 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:33,200 what I had was an amended birth certificate and 1970s in Ohio, 122 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,800 they changed it and they were the names of the adoptive 123 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,900 parent, right? And I'm over here, I'm like, 124 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,700 okay, you know, if there's, I can't show this to him and she 125 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:46,600 goes well, if you really Want to, I do have the core papers 126 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,100 from your adoption but it's like after that I just figured, you 127 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:53,200 know, I'd do anything to prove to him but when I look at the 128 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:57,200 paper, the document I just felt as much as I love my mom. 129 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,700 And yet, this is the LIE. Yeah, this is the truth and if I 130 00:07:00,707 --> 00:07:03,000 ever wanted to find my biological parents, how am I 131 00:07:03,008 --> 00:07:04,900 going to do that? Because there's no names, 132 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,000 there's nothing you know. Yeah. 133 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,300 Did you ever get your original birth certificate? 134 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:14,900 I did in 2015, the state of Ohio. 135 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:19,200 The law that adoptees between like the 60s and the other way 136 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:24,200 up to nineteen eighties could send like a certified letter and 137 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,300 I think for like 10 bucks, you could send away for your 138 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:30,100 original birth certificate. And when I heard about the first 139 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,700 thing I did was call my parents because I didn't want to do 140 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:36,000 anything to hurt them. And my mom goes, they not a 141 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,500 always scared that this time would come. 142 00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:40,500 And she goes, if you wanted to go for it and everything, I'm 143 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,400 behind you, 100%. She also told me of, if she were 144 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,900 in my shoes, she wouldn't do too. 145 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:50,600 So, I started my own son dollars and two years later and like, 146 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:55,400 2016-2017 I got my original birth certificate. 147 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,200 Wow, what was that? Like, you're wrecking thrilling, 148 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,100 you know, exciting. I finally had the name for my 149 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:07,000 biological mother and my husband who had been supportive of me 150 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,300 like from day one, everything he goes well with Kevin a know, why 151 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:14,600 don't we like Google it and see what we can find and the first 152 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:19,100 thing that Found was to Rob see your picture, and I was just in 153 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,100 shock. The face is exactly. 154 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,700 Like my even the hairstyle was exactly like mine. 155 00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,600 Wow. It was just like looking in a 156 00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:27,700 mirror. The second thing that we found 157 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:30,800 was her obituary. Yeah. 158 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:35,200 Oh my gosh. How did that feel heartbreaking? 159 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:39,100 Yeah, I'm over here. Looking up the I'm never gonna 160 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:39,799 know. I'm dived. 161 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,200 Have so many questions for a never going to be able to ask 162 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,300 her under the obituary. Three. 163 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,800 I saw that. I have an aunt that was still 164 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:52,800 living and I had a half sister. Oh wow, some were relocated. 165 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:57,000 Should I read talk to them? What I do and my husband's are 166 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,100 really well, why don't you try? See if he could find your deaf 167 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,400 sister on Facebook. See if you can find anything 168 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,500 about your aunt or Facebook. Why don't you just look? 169 00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,900 So I am I did find my half sister Juliana. 170 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,300 I sent her a message on Facebook, I don't even know she 171 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:14,700 had forgot the first message because I never heard anything. 172 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:18,800 Back from her. And then with my aunt, I found 173 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:22,400 out that she was living in Lakewood and I did a little 174 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,400 snooping through the Cuyahoga County voter records because I 175 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,800 knew that you could search for by address and everything. 176 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,700 I found her address and we're like well so I write her a 177 00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:37,100 letter, I'd caught about it for like a minute, least like a good 178 00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:41,400 year and then in 2017 that I just started, you know, if I'm 179 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,200 gonna contact her, I have to do it now. 180 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,300 So that was my only resolution that Eric's. 181 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,500 Like, I'm going to write a note to my aunt. 182 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,300 I'm going to introduce myself and if I hear back from her 183 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:55,000 wonderful, if I don't it's okay. But I have to at least try. 184 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,400 So I got the feedback from some family and friends and 185 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,100 everything. Sent the letter back and she 186 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:05,200 called me the day that she got it and my heart just doing some 187 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:13,600 really does she know about you. She suspected, she was a lot 188 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:18,100 younger than my age. And she suspected and she gave 189 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,500 me the name of a possible biological father because his 190 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,700 name wasn't on the birth certificate at all. 191 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,900 It was blank. Yeah. 192 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,600 It was like, oh wow. So by that time, I had asked my 193 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,000 husband if I could get on the ancestry DNA thing because I 194 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,100 figured since there's no name on there, may be the next best 195 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,400 chance of finding my biological father is to do that again. 196 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,400 Hmm. So I didn't get any matches like 197 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,900 right off the bat. I use the The name that my 198 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:49,600 eventual gave me and I searched the ancestry DNA based on 199 00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:54,400 everything and found out that that gentleman had passed away 200 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,200 too. So, I'm over here, like, okay, 201 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,500 what do I do now? Both my parents are gone. 202 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,100 You know, how old were they, when they passed? 203 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:08,300 Um, my biological mom was 60, she was in her 60s. 204 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,200 Okay. So it's this recent that you 205 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,200 start searching how long ago was this? 206 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,800 Pretty recent because it's like we've prior to getting my 207 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,400 original birth certificate. I didn't even know where to 208 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,700 start. I don't know what to do, you 209 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,400 know. Yeah, interesting. 210 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,700 Yeah, my biological father. He was meeting in his 50s. 211 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:32,200 Okay, well those here's the twist. 212 00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,400 So did you meet your half-sister? 213 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:41,100 Then, after that, and It's a little bit time for drilling or 214 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,600 another kind of warm up to me, because I look a lot like our 215 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,300 mother and everything and she thought that she was the only 216 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,000 child for years. Yeah. 217 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,900 Oh she didn't know about you, then she had no idea. 218 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:56,500 Wow. Yeah I can see that being kind 219 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:59,700 of Blindsided in like really are you and you know, all the 220 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,700 questions like I don't know if you've had this conversation 221 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:06,100 with her, but how did she feel about your mom not telling her? 222 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:11,000 I think she thought that her mom had girl reasons for not telling 223 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,700 me and I talked to like a family friends and Son everything and 224 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,300 our mother was very concerned about what other people thought 225 00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,700 about her. She didn't want Julian isn't 226 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:24,600 think anything less of me for giving me up. 227 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000 So, let's see. You know, I'm thinking that's 228 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,200 why she is the way she didn't tell her. 229 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,300 Yeah. So how did it go with your aunt? 230 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:36,200 Then sounded pretty positive. Yeah, we called each other a 231 00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:38,500 couple times. Times everything we didn't meet 232 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,100 until like, maybe about. I want to see like ten months 233 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,700 later, we finally got together and went person. 234 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:48,400 And she told me stories about my family, everything, my 235 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:53,300 grandfather, her dad was in the Navy was pharmaceutical 236 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:58,000 salesman, but he also told me that he was a wonderful artist 237 00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:01,800 and my kiddos and artists to like constantly like drawing and 238 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:04,300 and I like to draw too, but she told me, you liked the story 239 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,600 that they had, they were always in red. 240 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,500 Holmes growing up and they were just getting ready to move out 241 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:13,500 of like one holding everything and pretty and my grandpa just 242 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,100 decorated like the walls of this house before they were getting 243 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,400 ready to leave with like all these silly, goofy, characters 244 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,300 and everything. And then also pumped out that my 245 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,000 my biology or maternal. Grandmother is a school teacher 246 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,500 and I'm schoolteacher. Now at preschool teacher, so 247 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,100 welcome interests. So, you know, it's like even 248 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,800 though I never met them, they passed away to. 249 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,000 I just felt like I had this connection to them, right? 250 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,400 So, what happened to your dad side then? 251 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,300 Okay. So, um, I had met several 252 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:47,100 people, the family, everything my aunt, Susie on have passed 253 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:52,100 away, but her first husband reached out to me and we got 254 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:55,200 together for dinner, everything. He was very interested in like 255 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,300 genealogy told me. It's some awesome family, 256 00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:00,700 stories, everything to and you can add a family tree that he 257 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,100 had / now for me. I'm really glad this is cool. 258 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:08,000 T traced are like this I find all the way back to Ernest 259 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,300 Hemingway. It's very very distant cousin. 260 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:18,600 So it's like, oh, wow. But then, when I showed him, my 261 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:23,800 DNA profile, he like looked at it, and he thought that if the 262 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,100 guy that Aunt Jill told me was my biological father, I would 263 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:32,600 have had more Serbian because he was directly from Serbia, and 264 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,700 so, he didn't tell me right away. 265 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:39,000 He actually, Called me at the urging of the second wife and 266 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,300 told me, it's like, taking AA know how to tell you this. 267 00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:44,500 But if made it was really your father, you would have had you 268 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,900 more Eastern European, right? Then we'll be like, okay, so 269 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:49,700 what do I do with this information? 270 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,900 So, for the heck of a, I check my DNA profile again and I had 271 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:56,300 parent-child manage. Oh, wow. 272 00:14:56,700 --> 00:15:04,800 Yeah, right after I check that, wow, yeah. 273 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,200 Like little clues for me. Everything he left me the clue 274 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,500 behind to his LinkedIn profile. I got to see a picture of him 275 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,000 and then I called some, my little Steve, the guy, they went 276 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,800 out to dinner with them. Give me the family tree and 277 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,900 everything. And we're like I have here a 278 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,400 child yet. Ryona what to do, you know, how 279 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,000 do I contact him? Does he even know anything about 280 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,400 me and I'll go see if those dated you want me to call him 281 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,900 for you? Oh nice. 282 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,000 Yes, please. And so Uncle Steve call them for 283 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,400 me, maybe. Be five days afterwards, Uncle 284 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:45,000 Steve's wife, Elizabeth called me and she goes Dana I didn't 285 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,000 learn Chinese at the time everything and she goes I don't 286 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,400 want you to talk because it's like I know that the truth 287 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,800 return and now that you're just going over later and I guess, 288 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:57,400 but I just want to let you know that Uncle Steve called they 289 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,500 talked to your birth father. He always kind of sort of knew 290 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,600 about you. He wants to call you once to 291 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,900 contact you but he wants Tell everybody in the family first 292 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,900 because you have four half-brothers through him. 293 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:19,000 Wow, that's great, though. Because there's I've heard so 294 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,600 many stories where the biological parent, you know, 295 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,400 wanted to meet their child but hadn't told anybody and still 296 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:30,200 wanted to continue to keep it as a secret and not tell anybody. 297 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,500 So that's very thoughtful and you know of him to consider that 298 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:37,000 and want to do that first and then bring you in. 299 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,900 I think he told us about everybody in the family before 300 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:46,000 he called me and told me I talked to him on the very first 301 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,700 day on st. Patrick's Day 2017. 302 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,600 So I always remembered and everything, it's like that's 303 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,700 that's the anniversary of the first day. 304 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:56,100 They talk to him. It's like, we have our own 305 00:16:56,100 --> 00:17:00,200 little family group where I talked to him, his wife, all for 306 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,200 my half-brothers. We have her only text group and 307 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,400 like every year, it's like I'm really happy anniversary. 308 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,700 So it's like that's always been my lucky day. 309 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,700 Like, I felt like I live in the inaugural. 310 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:17,300 Yeah. So you met your brother's your 311 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:18,700 half-brothers then? Yep. 312 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:22,300 Um, he met everybody. My hip one of my half-brother 313 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,800 flips and Key West. Well, he looked in Key West when 314 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,500 I first met him and everything. When I first wanted, first are 315 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:33,100 talking to move to Orlando recently, but he was probably 316 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,100 like his youngest in the family, everything and the most 317 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,600 outgoing. And kindest guy I've ever met 318 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,100 he's gay when you called me the first thing that he said Dana, 319 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,600 you have no idea how much I've always wanted a sister, it was 320 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:50,400 very hard for going up in a house will call guys being gay 321 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:55,300 going skating on my sister they told him well you got me forever 322 00:17:55,300 --> 00:18:01,100 now he's the youngest youngest he's the baby of the family. 323 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:04,000 Are you the oldest or did with her kids? 324 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:09,500 The oldest lived in Minnesota. And then Jason actually has a 325 00:18:09,508 --> 00:18:12,200 twin Jeremy. So I have twin brothers. 326 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,800 Okay but are you older than all the boys? 327 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,300 I'm older than all the place. Okay. 328 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:22,000 So I'm the oldest of everybody. So how was it meeting? 329 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000 Your dad. Have you met him in person? 330 00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:30,200 He was when I first met Sarah talking to, everybody. 331 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,400 My youngest brother was in the process of getting married and 332 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,500 he invited me to the wedding but I didn't think That can make in 333 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:41,600 everything, given her to arrange it all the way down to Key West 334 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,400 and we live in Ohio and everything. 335 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:48,700 Yeah, still my father lives up in Minnesota and he called me 336 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:51,200 and he goes, well, we're going to be driving down to Key West 337 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,200 for Jason's wedding. And he goes, do you want us to 338 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,500 meet up like along the way you want me to do more, really kiss? 339 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,500 Definitely, and I was all excited. 340 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:02,400 I told my husband and he kind of tease me a little bit and it 341 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,300 goes well we should meet your biological father. 342 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:11,100 You would just be too happy. So, that's when you met him was 343 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,300 on the drive. That's when we went out to 344 00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,300 dinner. I got to meet his. 345 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:20,200 It was actually, his wife's idea to drive through Ohio, to meet 346 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,400 me because she found her biological father herself. 347 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,500 Later in life, she was actually older kid growing up with a 348 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,600 stepfather and everything and she didn't find her biological 349 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,200 father and was until she was older. 350 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,200 And she told him, it's like Jay, we have to do this, we have to 351 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,600 meet your daughter. Daughter because she knew what 352 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,600 was like, you know. So yeah so it's like I was 353 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,500 really blessed in that respect to that's cool that's one way to 354 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,200 get to know someone is on a road trip. 355 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,000 Oh yeah, you guys better get along and you got to meet 356 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,500 everybody at the wedding and I had to be like a huge family 357 00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:01,000 reunions, all of a sudden, go for the bait on their own, I 358 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,100 wasn't able to like get up at the time off for work and 359 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:07,900 everything, okay. So they drove We met up for 360 00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,800 dinner. We went for like a nice little 361 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,700 walk, just me and him and everything. 362 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:15,000 He told me about what I told you about, how he met my biological 363 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,900 mom for lunch and she told them don't worry about this business. 364 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:23,200 Not yours. Yeah, just pretty much come out 365 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,600 the equation. Yeah, so, but it kind of sounds 366 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,300 like he had a feeling that he was your dad. 367 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:32,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, how's the relationships with 368 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,900 everyone else? Still get it. 369 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,600 Sounds like it is. I just talked. 370 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,400 Talk to both of my youngest half-brothers this morning. 371 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:43,300 I called them because their grandfather on their mom's side 372 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,100 of the family and passed away. So it's like when they saw their 373 00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,500 when you recharge them and just make sure that they were okay. 374 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,900 And yeah. And yeah, I think I'm probably 375 00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:55,200 closest to the Quinns. I think April. 376 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:59,400 It was an April 1st. We all went to my oldest half 377 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,200 brother's wedding. Everybody else was too that 378 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,100 everything in and it was wonderful. 379 00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,100 When I feel like I'm a part of the family. 380 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,500 Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like you're 381 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,500 pretty close to your dad's side. What about your biological mom 382 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,100 side? Is there, like, not that many 383 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:19,300 relatives on that side. Side, your aunt and sister and A 384 00:21:19,308 --> 00:21:21,800 couple cousins. I don't hear from them as much 385 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:27,500 as I would like to and Juliana two years ago, we made a road 386 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,600 trip. I asked her if it was okay if we 387 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:33,400 if we made road to Vacation although we have to Colorado to 388 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,400 meet her and she's a really kissing with love man. 389 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:41,500 So I'm good we made the trip. We went out to dinner the day 390 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,200 before my birthday. She gave me a cute little card 391 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,900 and everything and Esther. I'm a really care. 392 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,400 I Love Sushi and everything. And she actually likes sushi 393 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,400 too. So we found like a cute little 394 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,000 sushi place and just sat and talked and we had a whole 395 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,400 conversation about Tim Burton movies. 396 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,800 I didn't doubt that she likes her paper holidays Halloween 397 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,800 cheat has been a little spooky side that I had when I was 398 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,400 growing up and it seemed like nobody else in the family, did 399 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,800 you know? Yeah, I know that feeling. 400 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,400 I just want to go back to your childhood for a second. 401 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,900 Did you say that your adoptive mom made you two first? 402 00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:20,400 Cakes. Yo, and her birthday because she 403 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,200 got me on her birthday, everything she would make up 404 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:27,700 everything for her and then kind of like a got you a cake to 405 00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,500 celebrate. You don't like both stuff. 406 00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:34,200 Yeah, so looking back. When did you learn that? 407 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,900 You were adopted like you always knew or yeah. 408 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,800 Yeah. So growing up knowing you were 409 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,400 adopted. Did you see any Tendencies or 410 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,300 even in your teenage years? Here's that you can look back 411 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,200 and say, oh, I had trouble attaching because I was adopted 412 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:55,200 or tendencies that could stem from being adopted maybe a 413 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:59,200 little bit like in the fact that like I was bullied like a little 414 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,500 bit high school. It's hard to talk about, but for 415 00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:05,200 a time, I was actually a wrist cutter. 416 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,800 Mmm. Yeah, yeah. 417 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,200 And I thought that like, by doing that, they would get the 418 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,800 bullies to stop. Yeah. 419 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,500 And then I actually had a friend that did commit suicide and and 420 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:17,300 see it. In it. 421 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:20,000 So it's after they happen, I cut it out, I just stopped. 422 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,700 Wow, if I cut my wrists to car, if I actually broke a babe, you 423 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,800 know, it's like I couldn't do that to my friends and family. 424 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,900 Just scares you. Yeah, yeah. 425 00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:32,800 And how about, like growing up as a teenager or young adult? 426 00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,700 Were you able to connect when you start dating, when you met 427 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:38,500 your husband? Were you able to connect easily, 428 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:42,800 or do you see some Tendencies there that adoption might play a 429 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:47,600 role in your relationships? I was definitely able to connect 430 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,200 with my husband everything but when we are getting everything 431 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,900 it's like I keep some stuff to myself and everything. 432 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:58,100 I know I keep some things in because I'm afraid that if I 433 00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:02,100 bring out and everything I'm afraid of like the reaction so 434 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,700 that's like the biggest thing. They always tells me that Dana 435 00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:06,200 why didn't you tell me that sooner? 436 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,000 Why didn't I remember? Like, I don't know, I just keep 437 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,000 it outside, you know, it's right. 438 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:15,800 So yeah. So So let's talk about the fog 439 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,900 for a second. Were you ever in the fog? 440 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:21,600 Are you still in the fog? If you come out of the fog, you 441 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,600 use that term at all? I don't think I was her father. 442 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:30,500 When I was younger, is like a older and the biggest perk of 443 00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,600 being in fog. They found myself with now, when 444 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:36,100 everything is, I feel like I was skipped out of a lot of things 445 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:39,100 with my half brothers and my half-sister, they never got to 446 00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:41,100 see my kid Owen. When he was growing up 447 00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:42,700 everything. It's like I just feel like I was 448 00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:45,300 totally dipped out of that. You don't like They missed out 449 00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:49,100 on so much because we were denied access to everything. 450 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:52,900 So that's part of the fog. I guess you could say that they 451 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,100 see myself in right now. Yeah. 452 00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:59,900 So, do you feel like your half-siblings, you have that 453 00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:02,600 sibling Bond, like you do with the siblings that you grew up 454 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:03,900 with? Do you feel like you have that 455 00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:06,100 same Bond even though you didn't grow up together? 456 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:10,800 I think I have maybe to be honest, little bit more of a 457 00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:14,200 more of with the siblings that they're going to grow up with 458 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,600 that. You didn't grow up with. 459 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,200 Okay. I'm very, very close to my 460 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,700 paternal. Twin brothers, I've gotten 461 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:22,900 closer with Julian just since we've actually met in person, 462 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:27,300 but right now, it's hard to get together with my sister, 463 00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:29,300 everything. My adopted sister only loves 464 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,200 like 20 minutes away from me, but she's always busy. 465 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,200 She's got things going on and it's hard for me to get together 466 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,800 and Hang out with her and then my youngest my youngest brother. 467 00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:41,600 It's hard. He looks all the way up in 468 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,900 Louisiana. I was able to see him when my 469 00:25:44,900 --> 00:25:47,200 oldest brother got married and everything because they only 470 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,800 live, maybe about like 20 minutes, half an hour away. 471 00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:53,200 So we got to drive down - spend time with both of my brothers, 472 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,500 which was awesome. Yeah, nice. 473 00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:58,600 Yeah. Nice because I know sometimes 474 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,000 adoptees because you don't grow up with those siblings, it can 475 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,400 be hard to connect with them so that's great that you're able to 476 00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:07,700 make that connection. Action without having that 477 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:11,800 growing up experience. I think a lot of those because 478 00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:15,300 my brothers have all been like open and honest with me and 479 00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:18,300 Julie has been open and honest with me everything to do what 480 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:22,200 they've shared pictures with me. They've shared stories think to 481 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,900 be with Giuliana so yeah and that does help because a lot of 482 00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:29,100 times the communications not there so if you have that I 483 00:26:29,108 --> 00:26:32,000 think that is huge. Yeah it does really help. 484 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:35,400 So do you think I'm going to ask you? 485 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,300 I don't know if you did. Consider yourself having the 486 00:26:37,300 --> 00:26:40,700 Primal wound because it sounds like you had a great upbringing 487 00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,200 and everything. But do you think that you ever 488 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,000 had the Primal wound and do you think that we can heal from the 489 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,800 Primal wound? I think we can heal from the 490 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:55,100 Primal would I he hasn't maybe a little bit never think. 491 00:26:55,100 --> 00:26:57,600 I don't think I ever felt it like growing up and everything 492 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,400 just because I had the wonderful relationship with My adoptive 493 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,800 families. Yeah but no because I don't have 494 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:08,600 my mother in my life anymore. If it's fair it hurts because 495 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,300 there's so many questions that I would love to ask her. 496 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,100 Yeah, so many things that I don't have answers to. 497 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,900 So now I think I feel it more than because I don't have her 498 00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:20,300 anymore. So yeah. 499 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,500 So what's helped you personally in dealing with your Primal 500 00:27:24,500 --> 00:27:28,600 wound or any adoption trauma that you have or had what do you 501 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,400 use to get through that and cope maybe your art and what else 502 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:36,100 you're working in right journaling. 503 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,700 Talking to like family and friends and everything and you 504 00:27:41,700 --> 00:27:45,400 know just having the support of my family of both families of My 505 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,400 adoptive, family of my biological family, everything 506 00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:52,200 just having them to talk to and know that they will be there to 507 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,400 support me everything and then writing. 508 00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:57,900 I've been working my Memoir, everything like writing all that 509 00:27:57,900 --> 00:27:59,500 stuff down. It's like just like one big 510 00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:02,700 journal for me, you know. Yeah, I was gonna ask you if you 511 00:28:02,700 --> 00:28:05,200 were doing that with all your journals, how long have you been 512 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,600 writing? since I was maybe about like, 513 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,500 Eight or nine years old. Oh wow, do you have all of those 514 00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:18,300 journals still? I have my the with my teenagers, 515 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,600 I saved his life, just like reading and how. 516 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:32,100 It's like, wow, anybody else? So the other question I have for 517 00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:35,900 you is what would you tell struggling, adoptees, what would 518 00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:37,800 you want them to know to help them? 519 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:43,500 I would want them. To do with it, even if it seems 520 00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:47,100 like it's hopeless, like you're never going to find like 521 00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:50,000 anything about your past. Anything about your biological 522 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,000 family to not give up, you know, just try every up and you're 523 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:59,200 trying, any aspect, everything know, if you haven't got the DNA 524 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:01,800 records like right away. Everything, you know, just keep 525 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,900 looking because you never know what can pop up. 526 00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:06,000 Like what happened with my biological father and 527 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,300 everything, I know. Yeah. 528 00:29:07,300 --> 00:29:12,600 So so you have a website, tell About that I do it's called a 529 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,400 girl for families.com. I have a Blog that goes along 530 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,200 with it and they just recently started working on each. 531 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,000 One of the family pages, I have like pictures up the doctrine 532 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,800 from different family members a little bit of little stories 533 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,700 about how I met them how I connected with them. 534 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,300 I care about a couple resources for adoptees someone is 535 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:39,100 searching everything. Yeah, so for families, so 536 00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:43,700 meaning Or to biological parents and then the two families from 537 00:29:43,700 --> 00:29:47,900 your adoptive parents. Well in the nose, so my berry 538 00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:53,800 family of okay, so yes. So the family that got to me the 539 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,800 family, they married in two and then my two biological families. 540 00:29:58,100 --> 00:30:00,400 Okay? So you have like a Blog about 541 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,000 each family? Yep. 542 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000 Just like a page for a tablet. Mmm. 543 00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:07,800 And what about your art? Do you have your art up there, 544 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,800 as well? I have the book cover for my 545 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,400 book example, in watercolors, everything in the my kiddo. 546 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,400 I actually encourage me like, Mom, why don't you just make 547 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,000 your own? But covering everything. 548 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,500 I know that you love to do though. 549 00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:24,600 So it's like, yeah, sure. And then I'll probably, like, 550 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,500 post more pictures. I've done up there and 551 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:31,000 everything to do so, have you done a manuscript? 552 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,300 Then as it turned in or you working on it? 553 00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:35,600 Or it's still a work in progress? 554 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,200 Get this recently, I started going back to school. 555 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,000 I am in the process of getting my Bachelor's degree in early 556 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,100 childhood education. So a couple months homework kind 557 00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:51,700 of occupied my time. In addition, I work full-time 558 00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:54,800 everything, I work full-time as a preschool teacher so it's like 559 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,600 I really didn't have a lot of time, Sit Down, You're right. 560 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,100 So that kind of got pushed by the wayside but this number is 561 00:31:01,108 --> 00:31:04,700 like you know I don't have any homework doing going on, I can 562 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,000 bring on the weekends, I can work on my website and the 563 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,100 weekend so I could dedicate more time Time so that it. 564 00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:13,700 So yeah, I can definitely relate because I'm in school to working 565 00:31:13,700 --> 00:31:17,300 doing the podcast. I feel like I have a huge plate 566 00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:19,400 as well. So I'm totally relating to you 567 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:29,800 right now. Are you involved in any adoptee 568 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,600 groups on Facebook or anywhere? I went to see you look at least 569 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,100 like four different groups on Facebook. 570 00:31:36,500 --> 00:31:39,200 Someone might just kind of follow some of them sometimes 571 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,400 Something. Do you find this helpful at all? 572 00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:44,900 I do? Yeah, I did too. 573 00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:47,300 To help them function, with other adoptees. 574 00:31:47,300 --> 00:31:50,000 Everything's to know that there's other people out there 575 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,700 like me. And so, yeah, I know growing up. 576 00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:54,200 It feels like you're the only one. 577 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:59,000 I don't know if I know I had a neighbor that was adopted. 578 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:03,700 She didn't find out till later like, in high school, so, but 579 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:05,400 she was probably the only other adoptee. 580 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,400 Well, I'm sure there was more but, you know, I don't talk 581 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,200 about it. Look at my best. 582 00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:12,000 His friends growing up was adapted my friend Kelly. 583 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,700 Wow, with the original birth certificates came out, we both 584 00:32:16,700 --> 00:32:19,400 decided the same time I called Kelly and over for you. 585 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,600 Like, do you want to do? And she goes yet, she has made 586 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,900 you wanted, and she goes. Yeah, so we both did it and well 587 00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:29,800 my biological mother's name was pretty uncommon. 588 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:34,200 Hers was Susan, Kent, and she didn't think that you would ever 589 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,000 find anything out about it like after all this happened. 590 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,800 After I finally met My brother's everything I still had access to 591 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,300 my ancestry. Can I still at the paid account? 592 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,700 Someone really just for the heck of it, I'm going to search 593 00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:50,000 through the and see what I can find. 594 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:55,500 And I found her half-brother and then I reached out to him for 595 00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:59,600 her and he reached back and he sent a picture of their mother 596 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,200 and it was just like looking at me or it's like killing my gosh. 597 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,600 So I helped her find her mother too and it's like the you know, 598 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,500 that was awesome. Logical mother had passed away 599 00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:12,100 too. Oh God. 600 00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:18,100 Yeah. Right. 601 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,700 Oh gosh, did you on your original birth certificate, did 602 00:33:21,700 --> 00:33:23,400 you? Did they name you something 603 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,200 different? None of the original birth 604 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,500 certificate on the, on the other adoption record. 605 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:33,900 She gave me Marie and I always knew there was something with 606 00:33:33,900 --> 00:33:37,400 Catholic Charities, they give you non-identifying information 607 00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:42,600 and They told my parents that they named me Marie, the 608 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,500 information that they gave me on my biological mother was pretty 609 00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:49,300 correct but the admission that they gave me on my biological. 610 00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:52,600 Father was way. Are they told me he was there? 611 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,000 He worked. I think the janitor at the 612 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,600 college that she was going to and that it was married to 613 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:03,600 another man and that goes more with what the research that I 614 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,900 did and I'm a name that my aunt Jill gave me. 615 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,900 So I think that when she gave me a her Adoption. 616 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,000 She really thought that this other guy was my father. 617 00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:15,800 Yeah, so she gave him all that information. 618 00:34:16,199 --> 00:34:18,500 Yep. It's got passed on to you which 619 00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:24,199 wasn't true thinking that that other guy was your biological 620 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:25,800 father. Did you meet anybody on that 621 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,300 side or get in contact with anybody on that side? 622 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:32,500 No, because once I found out, they passed away, it's like I 623 00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:36,199 didn't wanna. And plus I did find his marriage 624 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:39,000 certificate still, he was married. 625 00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:42,800 I didn't know how to do that. Yeah, that's gonna be kind of 626 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,900 sticky. Several, well, good thing, you 627 00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:49,100 didn't because it turned out, he wasn't so good. 628 00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:52,199 I know that would have been horrible, like, trying to 629 00:34:52,199 --> 00:34:55,100 connect with these people and thinking that and then finding 630 00:34:55,100 --> 00:34:58,100 out later that that wasn't true. I've heard that story to a 631 00:34:58,100 --> 00:35:00,200 couple times, it's not that's horrible. 632 00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:05,400 Well, we'll put your links to a girl in four families in the 633 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,700 show notes. If anybody wants to check that 634 00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:10,800 out, they can. And is there anything else that 635 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,800 you wanted to say before we close? 636 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,100 We cover everything not really? Yeah I think I got everything. 637 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,300 I have been following like some of the different state to state 638 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:24,200 fights for to get the original birth certificates, released and 639 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:30,300 everything and I definitely am a 100% Advocate more because 640 00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:32,800 that's without that paper. I wouldn't have ever found my 641 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,100 family. So yeah, I'm in California so we 642 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,400 don't get that much. I'm so surprised because we're 643 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,100 just so So you know, open about everything else. 644 00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:43,800 I'm surprised that they're one of the states that are still 645 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,200 not. There's there's probably about 646 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:50,000 like 34 of them that still are in the dark when it comes to 647 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,500 that. So yeah, yeah. 648 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,800 Well thanks so much Dana for coming on the show today. 649 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,800 You're welcome. It was wonderful to meet you 650 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:12,600 Miss Lilly. What a great story. 651 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:18,400 I just love hearing how hurry Union is going so great and how 652 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,500 she feels so close to her siblings. 653 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:25,200 You don't hear that very often. So I just love hearing that part 654 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:29,700 of her story and I love the fact that she's not afraid to say 655 00:36:29,700 --> 00:36:34,800 that her adoption Journey went. Well there's so many adoptees 656 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,600 that have a great adoption and positive adoption story and 657 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,700 they're afraid to say anything because So many do not have that 658 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:46,500 story and a lot of people don't want to come on the podcast that 659 00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:50,000 have positive stories because they feel like it needs to be 660 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,800 drama and have all this strife and discomfort in it and it 661 00:36:53,808 --> 00:36:58,000 doesn't no matter what. Your adoption story was contact, 662 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,400 me. And let's get your story on the 663 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,500 podcast. Let's educate the world about 664 00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:07,800 adoption your story, whatever the circumstances, whatever the 665 00:37:07,808 --> 00:37:10,600 story needs to be told so that other Stop. 666 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:16,400 These can hear it and say me to that feeling of community that 667 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:20,800 we adopt, these have is so important to all of us, not only 668 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:24,400 in our healing but just to be able to talk to one another, 669 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:29,100 someone that understands what we're talking about in the way 670 00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:32,400 that we're talking about it. So if you've been thinking about 671 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,500 coming on the podcast, send me an email, at mind your own Karma 672 00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:40,100 at gmail.com, and let's do it. Let's tell. 673 00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:44,300 Your story. Someone out there is waiting to 674 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,900 hear it. If you are looking to connect 675 00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:52,000 with me, I am on social media, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, 676 00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:55,000 you can email me. I also have a website, mind your 677 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:59,200 own Karma.com. So check all those out and let 678 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,700 me know you're out there and let me know that you're listening 679 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,000 last but not least. Please remember to subscribe and 680 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:09,000 rate and review the podcast if you are looking for ways to say, 681 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,900 thank you, I Love mind your own Karma. 682 00:38:11,900 --> 00:38:17,000 That is the best way to do it. As always, take what you need 683 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:21,300 and leave, what you don't and always remember to mind your own 684 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:23,600 Karma. I'll see you next time.