1 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:24,280 The first time I ever heard about birth control, I think I 2 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,800 was in class 5 or 6 and the birth control that I heard about 3 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:31,840 was condoms. Sorry, contraception method was 4 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,480 condoms. I mean of course those days 5 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:38,480 talking about even imagining or trying to think about a condom 6 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:44,400 was so taboo that it made you seem the whole energy and and 7 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,720 feelings around sex was that something must be wrong with you 8 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,760 if you even have thoughts of sex. 9 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,880 And then to be able to even want to talk about it and express 10 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,960 yourself or ask questions, it's just crazy unfathomable. 11 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:01,240 So by class 5-6 already, that's around 1211 years old. 12 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,160 I already knew of condoms and I had seen condoms. 13 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,440 Plus, we had been taught about condoms in school. 14 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,720 Around that time, some of my peers were already making out, 15 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,560 having sex, trying sex out for the first time. 16 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,680 And this is not something it seems shocking, but come on 17 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,120 ground to realize, what do we want to have sex? 18 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,160 Very young kids, as young as nine years old are having sex 19 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,640 with each other. Sex that they think is 20 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,560 intentional or sex that they think they understand what 21 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,840 they're doing with each other. The problem with this is that 22 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,600 because sex is largely A taboo topic, having conversations 23 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,520 around it was not even encouraged. 24 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,680 There was no outlet or no space to be able to go and ask 25 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,640 questions. The first time that I was asking 26 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,880 questions about condom, either I was Googling on my phone or I 27 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,840 can't really remember. I was sold out to my mom and she 28 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,240 was very cross with me and she called me a few words that I 29 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,880 don't want to repeat here right now. 30 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,840 But if you're an Africa, I don't want to say African parents are 31 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,160 like this because that was outright wrong. 32 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,720 But if you have an African mother, you might have an idea 33 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,320 of that kind of names that she called me when she had this. 34 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,240 The next time I heard about contraception was when my cousin 35 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:17,160 was talking about an abortion. And of course, if talking about 36 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:21,320 sex is horrible, imagine how talking about an abortion is 37 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:25,240 taken in the AFRICOM setting. Such a very shocking, unheard of 38 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:29,520 thing and something that can even get you stoned and termed 39 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,880 as a murderer. So I had a talking about an 40 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,520 abortion and I was very fascinated by the concept of not 41 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,960 keeping a child that you don't want. 42 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,440 It made sense to me because I had already seen so many 15 year 43 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,560 olds, 13 year olds having kids and I knew they had no business 44 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,960 being mothers even at that age and I was younger than them. 45 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,640 But I could tell being a mother needed you to be at least a bit 46 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,120 more responsible, if not financially, at least mulia 47 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,880 quick when I was at A and I grew up in an area meaning they more 48 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:06,720 comma so in Eastlands nikama EO age like primary school or 49 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,160 joining high school or just done with high school. 50 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,320 It almost seemed like a fad to have kids. 51 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:15,440 It almost seemed like this cool thing that wasn't outrightly 52 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,880 being called cool, but you could tell that you could could tell 53 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,320 that some people are doing it because it seemed like it was a 54 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,480 trend. The same cousin I had to talk 55 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,960 about this pill called. I don't know if I should mention 56 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,360 the name of the pill, but it's an everyday pill where you take 57 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,480 a pill a day and then even if you have sex, you cannot get 58 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:38,240 pregnant. So as young as 13141516, I was 59 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,480 already losing this pill. Looking back, I'm very 60 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,120 disappointed because I just wish I had the space to be able to 61 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,240 have gone and had this conversation because someone had 62 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,440 given someone would have given me better information around at 63 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,160 control and what was good for my body and what would have made 64 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,480 sense for me. But when we're making these 65 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,440 conversations difficult to have and it's very, very being very 66 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,480 strict around them, it instils fear. 67 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,040 And now nobody can ask, can ask any questions. 68 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,560 But then I used it for years and it worked for years. 69 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,640 But I also hear about these pills, pills, the emergency 70 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,400 contraception pills where you take it within 72 hours after 71 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,320 having sex. And also I'd see some of my 72 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,160 friends still the pill backfire on them. 73 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:25,320 So Mimi Kusumokeli, that's where I just decided I'm not going to 74 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,520 be using birth control anymore. I had had enough stories and I 75 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,320 had seen enough of my friends getting pregnant still despite 76 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,280 plus the hormonal issues were crazy. 77 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,160 I was struggling to deal with it. 78 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,960 And I will talk a little bit about it because I just took 79 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,960 those pills last week and I almost died. 80 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,160 I've been fighting for my life. So in high school and in uni is 81 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,240 I think when the topics were introduced better in a better 82 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,400 way and they were explained way better. 83 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,360 So that's where I learned hormonal and non hormonal 84 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,280 methods. I didn't even know that there 85 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,600 was a spectrum. I just knew about condoms and 86 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,840 the pill. So definitely the lack of proper 87 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:06,480 care and information because of fear created no access or 88 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,720 guidelines. And something that was also 89 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,640 showing up a lot was the lack of finance. 90 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,480 I mean, even if you had the information as a young girl, as 91 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,720 a teenager, where are you going to get access to money to buy 92 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,800 any sort of contraception that you have? 93 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,440 And me having this conversation does not does not mean that I'm 94 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,280 encouraging people to have sex while they're young. 95 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,120 It's just that I'm at a point where I'm able to acknowledge 96 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,480 that whether I like it or not, sex is being hard by people and 97 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,160 sometimes people of lower ages than you would imagine. 98 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,560 So it's just important that we have proper information so that 99 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,360 whatever is happening, the people are informed the people 100 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,600 and know what what they need. Throughout my uni and maybe 101 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,040 after I got on the pill regularly and when I would have 102 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,240 a boyfriend especially, So this would cause, you know, it was 103 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,520 definitely a hormonal method. It would cause weight issues, 104 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,520 mood issues, irritability, nausea, bad eating habits, 105 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,200 dissociation, depression, anxiety. 106 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,680 I start feeling like I hate men and this was happening to me 107 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,240 last week. When you're This is why. 108 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,200 Let me just pause for a minute to say, men, if you're listening 109 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,400 to this episode and you have a girlfriend and she's taking any 110 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,720 sort of contraception so that you can enjoy sex with her and 111 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,720 come inside her, please just hug her. 112 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,720 Hug her, put some money in her account, tell her you love her, 113 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,800 buy her a gift, take on a trip, do something because it's not 114 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,600 easy. The feelings of depression, 115 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,760 anxiety, worthiness, low self esteem, feeling like you want to 116 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,880 kill yourself, feeling like you hit everyone, everything smells 117 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,360 bad, you want to vomit. And the fucked up part is that 118 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,040 the same symptoms you have when you're pregnant, that the same 119 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,400 symptoms that show up on your period are the same symptoms 120 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,080 that are showing up when you're on ovulation and the same 121 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,600 symptoms that show up when you're on birth control. 122 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,480 These things are affecting your normal hormonal balance, so it 123 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,120 definitely does feel like that sometimes. 124 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:59,320 I was unable to leave my bed for like 2 days, two days because I 125 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,160 was so sick. Everything was making me so sick 126 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,840 and this is something I've been going through in my life and 127 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:09,320 that's why so many years ago I I already made a decision for 128 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,360 myself that I'm never taking the emergency contraceptions because 129 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,240 I don't think sex is an emergency like that. 130 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,840 By the time I'm having sex at least and I have sex. 131 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,600 So I always have condoms and condoms are what I use. 132 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:27,840 But in the event that I intentionally have gotten tested 133 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,320 with my partner I'm very sure and I'm in love, then I do not 134 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,320 mind to have unprotected sex which is with which still I'm 135 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:39,200 very such very much a staunch believer of pulling out because 136 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,320 I don't like anyone semen inside me. 137 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,600 I'm also scared of pH imbalance when they come inside you now 138 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,440 you get a yeast infection blah blah blah. 139 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,240 But in the event that it happens, then my to go has 140 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,160 always been the pill to take the daily pill. 141 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,880 That's why I can only have sex with someone if it's consistent 142 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,960 sex, not at least sexier ones, sexier ones a month. 143 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,280 Because if I'm getting on the pill, then I'm getting on the 144 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,240 pill. If I'm not getting on the pill, 145 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,200 then I'm not doing it. I'm just using condoms. 146 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,440 But you see, still the lack of information and the lack of 147 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,040 having access to such information is what was helping 148 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,040 me not be informed. Because even now as an adult is 149 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,400 when I'm going out to seek intentionally the information 150 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,680 that I required to know maybe 10 years ago when I started having 151 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,720 sex, that's when I should have been, you know, actively 152 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:29,920 practicing the things that I'm talking about. 153 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,960 Now, sometimes you even get irregular bleeding. 154 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:38,640 You get so much exhaustion, you feel so much repulsed by people 155 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,159 that you don't want to be around you. 156 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,799 And I think for me, condoms just give me less anxiety. 157 00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:48,560 And pulling out goes an extra way to help that I don't feel 158 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,840 like that I it helps with reducing the anxiety also. 159 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,440 But also the fact that now I know I kind of afford a safe 160 00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:00,600 abortion, it makes me feel even better because I don't want to 161 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,960 have kids that I don't want. I think reproductive health 162 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,280 conversations should be had very much openly amongst people, 163 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,560 especially young women and young men, so that people are more 164 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,360 aware when they're making their decisions on how to control 165 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,440 their bath. Today I'm not talking to married 166 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,880 people, Sana, or people who are in long term serious 167 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:24,000 relationships because definitely that's probably different. 168 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,080 I'm just talking to people who are young and trying to figure 169 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,120 out, you know, what could be safe and what should I use? 170 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,200 First off, after you listen to this podcast, I think you should 171 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,440 find a doctor. Find a Doctor Who you can ask 172 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,880 questions. Maristopes are offering these 173 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,360 services. They're so happy to even text 174 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,960 you Once you have their WhatsApp number, they'll answer your 175 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,000 questions and they'll even if you need further explanation, 176 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,120 they'll require you. They'll ask you to come in and 177 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,320 just have a consultation and talk to the doctors and ask 178 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:56,120 questions about everything so that you have all the 179 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,840 information that you need before you settle on what birth control 180 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,960 method or contraception method is the best for you. 181 00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:22,730 Contraception methods are drugs, devices, agents, sexual 182 00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:26,690 practices, surgical procedures which could be permanent or 183 00:10:26,690 --> 00:10:31,930 temporary that prevent you making or creating a baby. 184 00:10:31,970 --> 00:10:35,450 Some of these methods definitely have side effects like cost. 185 00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:38,490 They cost some money, some are more expensive than others. 186 00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:40,880 Some are hormonal and some are non hormonal. 187 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,320 Like I said, some are long term, some are short term, some are 188 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,960 instant, some are. I don't know what the opposite 189 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,720 of instant is, but even the best methods can feel. 190 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,960 So how the how they work is that they prevent the sperm from 191 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,160 reaching the egg, some by thickening the cervical mucus, 192 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,160 some by changing the uterine lining, and some of these 193 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,400 methods prevent the release of an egg and then some of these 194 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,240 methods damage the sperm. All these three things will help 195 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,280 to make sure that your egg is not fertilized by the sperm. 196 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,160 So some of the hormonal methods I'll talk about hormonal and non 197 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,280 hormonal, but I'll start with hormonal. 198 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,920 So some of the hormonal methods are like the vaginal ring and 199 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:27,440 this works by releasing hormones which prevent the ovary from 200 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:32,640 releasing and also it releases a thick mucus and it helps. 201 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,120 I mean it helps to stop you from getting pregnant. 202 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,160 Another one is the pill which on me I have always known and I 203 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,600 have used occasionally. So the pill prevents ovulation 204 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,760 in a final fertilization is years ago happen now birth 205 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:48,120 control patch which you stick on the skin. 206 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:52,240 There's implants which could last you long time like 3 years. 207 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,480 There's shots. I think it means queziquita depo 208 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:59,760 depo provero una dunga shindano CG kamaina congrat 3 months 209 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,360 dunga shindano unless we you have to keep coming back after 210 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,600 because it wears out. And then there's also the 211 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,440 emergency contraception which is a pill that you take within 72 212 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,880 hours to make sure that you don't get pregnant. 213 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,760 Some of the non hormonal methods are like condoms. 214 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,440 This is absolutely my favorite because it blocks the sperm from 215 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,080 even entering your body. There's spermicide which 216 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:28,680 destroys the sperms. There's the diaphragm in 217 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:33,960 Ingizoqua, vagina, kuna, cervical cap in Ginen in a 218 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,160 pendant in my favorite abstinence. 219 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:40,160 I actually really am a huge, I know, ironic, but I'm a huge, 220 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,480 huge, huge supporter of abstinence, condoms and 221 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,840 withdrawal because I feel like these are not affecting you in 222 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,840 any way hormonally. They don't cost as much as all 223 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,880 these other methods. They're just better. 224 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,600 And something else I see people do is the rhythm, like following 225 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,080 the flow of your body. You know those people who are 226 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,200 able to track their calendar, they know the days are 227 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,920 ovulating, they know when they're period, when they're the 228 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,840 most fertile. That also really works for a lot 229 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:08,520 of people because you're able to track your cycle and know when 230 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:12,680 you're the most fertile and able to catch or not catch a 231 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,440 pregnancy. There's also surgical 232 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,440 sterilization like tubal ligation for the women or 233 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,200 vasectomy for the men. This one I also really, really 234 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,360 recommend, especially vasectomy for the men. 235 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,520 I think men should be a bit more open minded when it comes to 236 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,360 vasectomy as a bath, contraception, birth control 237 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,960 method because no one is getting harmed. 238 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:37,280 It's such an easy, painless method that heals so fast and it 239 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,320 is also reversible. And you will still be coming. 240 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,520 Nothing really changes other than you cannot get your partner 241 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:49,120 pregnant and the IUD which is in EU, is it in the uterus, the 242 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,000 copper and the hormonal or in the arm? 243 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,560 I am very much a believer of non hormonal methods because they do 244 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:57,520 not impact you as heavily as a hormonal methods would. 245 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,320 But I also think that before you decide and settle for what you 246 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,680 want for yourself, you should really really think hard. 247 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,760 Think hard and make sure you have the support of your 248 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,640 partner. Because in case you're going 249 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,040 through these hormonal methods, you need someone who's going to 250 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,800 be able to be there to take care of you and to care for you in, 251 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,960 you know, emotional ways without making you feel like you're 252 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,760 crazy. You need to be around someone 253 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,840 who can show you grace and love you a little bit extra as you go 254 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,240 through the motions of the hormones and all that. 255 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,480 But me so clearly push for abstinence, condoms mostly. 256 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,640 Those are the most safe ways making a son of vasectomy. 257 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:38,320 Is it singing a hormonal? Please any sana, do not get into 258 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,080 anything. Do not buy over the counter if 259 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,040 you have not consulted your doctor because they would be the 260 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,440 best to let you know which method goes best with your body. 261 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,960 Feel free to ask any questions that you may have because I love 262 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,160 to hear from you guys and I love to hear what you're thinking. 263 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,480 Tell me what path control methods are you using for 264 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,600 yourself and how has it been so far on your body? 265 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,400 Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, go ahead.