The first time I ever heard about birth control, I think I
was in class 5 or 6 and the birth control that I heard about
was condoms. Sorry, contraception method was
condoms. I mean of course those days
talking about even imagining or trying to think about a condom
was so taboo that it made you seem the whole energy and and
feelings around sex was that something must be wrong with you
if you even have thoughts of sex.
And then to be able to even want to talk about it and express
yourself or ask questions, it's just crazy unfathomable.
So by class 5-6 already, that's around 1211 years old.
I already knew of condoms and I had seen condoms.
Plus, we had been taught about condoms in school.
Around that time, some of my peers were already making out,
having sex, trying sex out for the first time.
And this is not something it seems shocking, but come on
ground to realize, what do we want to have sex?
Very young kids, as young as nine years old are having sex
with each other. Sex that they think is
intentional or sex that they think they understand what
they're doing with each other. The problem with this is that
because sex is largely A taboo topic, having conversations
around it was not even encouraged.
There was no outlet or no space to be able to go and ask
questions. The first time that I was asking
questions about condom, either I was Googling on my phone or I
can't really remember. I was sold out to my mom and she
was very cross with me and she called me a few words that I
don't want to repeat here right now.
But if you're an Africa, I don't want to say African parents are
like this because that was outright wrong.
But if you have an African mother, you might have an idea
of that kind of names that she called me when she had this.
The next time I heard about contraception was when my cousin
was talking about an abortion. And of course, if talking about
sex is horrible, imagine how talking about an abortion is
taken in the AFRICOM setting. Such a very shocking, unheard of
thing and something that can even get you stoned and termed
as a murderer. So I had a talking about an
abortion and I was very fascinated by the concept of not
keeping a child that you don't want.
It made sense to me because I had already seen so many 15 year
olds, 13 year olds having kids and I knew they had no business
being mothers even at that age and I was younger than them.
But I could tell being a mother needed you to be at least a bit
more responsible, if not financially, at least mulia
quick when I was at A and I grew up in an area meaning they more
comma so in Eastlands nikama EO age like primary school or
joining high school or just done with high school.
It almost seemed like a fad to have kids.
It almost seemed like this cool thing that wasn't outrightly
being called cool, but you could tell that you could could tell
that some people are doing it because it seemed like it was a
trend. The same cousin I had to talk
about this pill called. I don't know if I should mention
the name of the pill, but it's an everyday pill where you take
a pill a day and then even if you have sex, you cannot get
pregnant. So as young as 13141516, I was
already losing this pill. Looking back, I'm very
disappointed because I just wish I had the space to be able to
have gone and had this conversation because someone had
given someone would have given me better information around at
control and what was good for my body and what would have made
sense for me. But when we're making these
conversations difficult to have and it's very, very being very
strict around them, it instils fear.
And now nobody can ask, can ask any questions.
But then I used it for years and it worked for years.
But I also hear about these pills, pills, the emergency
contraception pills where you take it within 72 hours after
having sex. And also I'd see some of my
friends still the pill backfire on them.
So Mimi Kusumokeli, that's where I just decided I'm not going to
be using birth control anymore. I had had enough stories and I
had seen enough of my friends getting pregnant still despite
plus the hormonal issues were crazy.
I was struggling to deal with it.
And I will talk a little bit about it because I just took
those pills last week and I almost died.
I've been fighting for my life. So in high school and in uni is
I think when the topics were introduced better in a better
way and they were explained way better.
So that's where I learned hormonal and non hormonal
methods. I didn't even know that there
was a spectrum. I just knew about condoms and
the pill. So definitely the lack of proper
care and information because of fear created no access or
guidelines. And something that was also
showing up a lot was the lack of finance.
I mean, even if you had the information as a young girl, as
a teenager, where are you going to get access to money to buy
any sort of contraception that you have?
And me having this conversation does not does not mean that I'm
encouraging people to have sex while they're young.
It's just that I'm at a point where I'm able to acknowledge
that whether I like it or not, sex is being hard by people and
sometimes people of lower ages than you would imagine.
So it's just important that we have proper information so that
whatever is happening, the people are informed the people
and know what what they need. Throughout my uni and maybe
after I got on the pill regularly and when I would have
a boyfriend especially, So this would cause, you know, it was
definitely a hormonal method. It would cause weight issues,
mood issues, irritability, nausea, bad eating habits,
dissociation, depression, anxiety.
I start feeling like I hate men and this was happening to me
last week. When you're This is why.
Let me just pause for a minute to say, men, if you're listening
to this episode and you have a girlfriend and she's taking any
sort of contraception so that you can enjoy sex with her and
come inside her, please just hug her.
Hug her, put some money in her account, tell her you love her,
buy her a gift, take on a trip, do something because it's not
easy. The feelings of depression,
anxiety, worthiness, low self esteem, feeling like you want to
kill yourself, feeling like you hit everyone, everything smells
bad, you want to vomit. And the fucked up part is that
the same symptoms you have when you're pregnant, that the same
symptoms that show up on your period are the same symptoms
that are showing up when you're on ovulation and the same
symptoms that show up when you're on birth control.
These things are affecting your normal hormonal balance, so it
definitely does feel like that sometimes.
I was unable to leave my bed for like 2 days, two days because I
was so sick. Everything was making me so sick
and this is something I've been going through in my life and
that's why so many years ago I I already made a decision for
myself that I'm never taking the emergency contraceptions because
I don't think sex is an emergency like that.
By the time I'm having sex at least and I have sex.
So I always have condoms and condoms are what I use.
But in the event that I intentionally have gotten tested
with my partner I'm very sure and I'm in love, then I do not
mind to have unprotected sex which is with which still I'm
very such very much a staunch believer of pulling out because
I don't like anyone semen inside me.
I'm also scared of pH imbalance when they come inside you now
you get a yeast infection blah blah blah.
But in the event that it happens, then my to go has
always been the pill to take the daily pill.
That's why I can only have sex with someone if it's consistent
sex, not at least sexier ones, sexier ones a month.
Because if I'm getting on the pill, then I'm getting on the
pill. If I'm not getting on the pill,
then I'm not doing it. I'm just using condoms.
But you see, still the lack of information and the lack of
having access to such information is what was helping
me not be informed. Because even now as an adult is
when I'm going out to seek intentionally the information
that I required to know maybe 10 years ago when I started having
sex, that's when I should have been, you know, actively
practicing the things that I'm talking about.
Now, sometimes you even get irregular bleeding.
You get so much exhaustion, you feel so much repulsed by people
that you don't want to be around you.
And I think for me, condoms just give me less anxiety.
And pulling out goes an extra way to help that I don't feel
like that I it helps with reducing the anxiety also.
But also the fact that now I know I kind of afford a safe
abortion, it makes me feel even better because I don't want to
have kids that I don't want. I think reproductive health
conversations should be had very much openly amongst people,
especially young women and young men, so that people are more
aware when they're making their decisions on how to control
their bath. Today I'm not talking to married
people, Sana, or people who are in long term serious
relationships because definitely that's probably different.
I'm just talking to people who are young and trying to figure
out, you know, what could be safe and what should I use?
First off, after you listen to this podcast, I think you should
find a doctor. Find a Doctor Who you can ask
questions. Maristopes are offering these
services. They're so happy to even text
you Once you have their WhatsApp number, they'll answer your
questions and they'll even if you need further explanation,
they'll require you. They'll ask you to come in and
just have a consultation and talk to the doctors and ask
questions about everything so that you have all the
information that you need before you settle on what birth control
method or contraception method is the best for you.
Contraception methods are drugs, devices, agents, sexual
practices, surgical procedures which could be permanent or
temporary that prevent you making or creating a baby.
Some of these methods definitely have side effects like cost.
They cost some money, some are more expensive than others.
Some are hormonal and some are non hormonal.
Like I said, some are long term, some are short term, some are
instant, some are. I don't know what the opposite
of instant is, but even the best methods can feel.
So how the how they work is that they prevent the sperm from
reaching the egg, some by thickening the cervical mucus,
some by changing the uterine lining, and some of these
methods prevent the release of an egg and then some of these
methods damage the sperm. All these three things will help
to make sure that your egg is not fertilized by the sperm.
So some of the hormonal methods I'll talk about hormonal and non
hormonal, but I'll start with hormonal.
So some of the hormonal methods are like the vaginal ring and
this works by releasing hormones which prevent the ovary from
releasing and also it releases a thick mucus and it helps.
I mean it helps to stop you from getting pregnant.
Another one is the pill which on me I have always known and I
have used occasionally. So the pill prevents ovulation
in a final fertilization is years ago happen now birth
control patch which you stick on the skin.
There's implants which could last you long time like 3 years.
There's shots. I think it means queziquita depo
depo provero una dunga shindano CG kamaina congrat 3 months
dunga shindano unless we you have to keep coming back after
because it wears out. And then there's also the
emergency contraception which is a pill that you take within 72
hours to make sure that you don't get pregnant.
Some of the non hormonal methods are like condoms.
This is absolutely my favorite because it blocks the sperm from
even entering your body. There's spermicide which
destroys the sperms. There's the diaphragm in
Ingizoqua, vagina, kuna, cervical cap in Ginen in a
pendant in my favorite abstinence.
I actually really am a huge, I know, ironic, but I'm a huge,
huge, huge supporter of abstinence, condoms and
withdrawal because I feel like these are not affecting you in
any way hormonally. They don't cost as much as all
these other methods. They're just better.
And something else I see people do is the rhythm, like following
the flow of your body. You know those people who are
able to track their calendar, they know the days are
ovulating, they know when they're period, when they're the
most fertile. That also really works for a lot
of people because you're able to track your cycle and know when
you're the most fertile and able to catch or not catch a
pregnancy. There's also surgical
sterilization like tubal ligation for the women or
vasectomy for the men. This one I also really, really
recommend, especially vasectomy for the men.
I think men should be a bit more open minded when it comes to
vasectomy as a bath, contraception, birth control
method because no one is getting harmed.
It's such an easy, painless method that heals so fast and it
is also reversible. And you will still be coming.
Nothing really changes other than you cannot get your partner
pregnant and the IUD which is in EU, is it in the uterus, the
copper and the hormonal or in the arm?
I am very much a believer of non hormonal methods because they do
not impact you as heavily as a hormonal methods would.
But I also think that before you decide and settle for what you
want for yourself, you should really really think hard.
Think hard and make sure you have the support of your
partner. Because in case you're going
through these hormonal methods, you need someone who's going to
be able to be there to take care of you and to care for you in,
you know, emotional ways without making you feel like you're
crazy. You need to be around someone
who can show you grace and love you a little bit extra as you go
through the motions of the hormones and all that.
But me so clearly push for abstinence, condoms mostly.
Those are the most safe ways making a son of vasectomy.
Is it singing a hormonal? Please any sana, do not get into
anything. Do not buy over the counter if
you have not consulted your doctor because they would be the
best to let you know which method goes best with your body.
Feel free to ask any questions that you may have because I love
to hear from you guys and I love to hear what you're thinking.
Tell me what path control methods are you using for
yourself and how has it been so far on your body?
Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, go ahead.