1 00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:25,020 Today I want to talk about why you might just not be that into 2 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:28,260 you and why you're missing the signs and why you're not able to 3 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:30,940 see. But I am here to help you open 4 00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:34,460 your eyes so that you're able to make better decisions. 5 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:39,020 You know, there's nothing painful or sad like being told, 6 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:42,020 OK, there's things that are way sadder, but this is just 7 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,660 figuratively. It's really sad when someone 8 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:48,640 tells you pride that they do not like you anymore or when you 9 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:53,600 start Kushikanisha 1 + 1 una eh umm SE Ana semi vinana fan evina 10 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,240 has he match? Has he make sense? 11 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,000 And then you start to realize that they might not like you. 12 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,240 But I want to try and help you speed up the process of being 13 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,879 able to see these signs. Especially for the girlies or 14 00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:08,600 anyone who dates men. Because you know how women and 15 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,960 men are socialized is very different. 16 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,880 Meaning how we show up in relationships is very different, 17 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,520 even in our communication, in the way we show love, in the way 18 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,880 we we show affection. And most times, I say this as a 19 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:26,440 woman who had no one to tell me about what love is supposed to 20 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,680 look like. A woman who did not grow up 21 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,600 around positive affectionate reinforcement. 22 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,000 These are things I've learned for myself as a grown up. 23 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:39,040 And I know it might be difficult to be able to see the signs and 24 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,640 spot them for yourself. And a lot of times when women 25 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,760 get into relationships, especially with men, we always 26 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,880 have all these excuses. So he's avoidant. 27 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,200 He grew up in a fucked up situation. 28 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,920 His childhood trauma, his parents abandoned him. 29 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,520 He doesn't have money right now, he's broke. 30 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,160 That's why he's miserable. He's working so hard, he's so 31 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,840 busy, he doesn't have time. He can't even text me. 32 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,240 All these excuses we always give and all these things we always 33 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,440 say to try and cushion the fall. When we fall down from these 34 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,160 clouds we're always up in, it's, it's sometimes difficult because 35 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,640 you can't imagine, you can't imagine someone doing that to 36 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,320 you or someone treating you like that, especially when they've 37 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,800 been saying the opposite, when they've been saying I like you, 38 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,800 I want you, I want to be with you. 39 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,320 Some actions here and there, sprinkles sprinkled around to 40 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,400 make you believe it. But then in the long run, when 41 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,640 you sit down and actually question yourself and look at 42 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:43,040 things, when I realize taki taki Nanisawa too. 43 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,320 So Kitambo, I used to think that when someone says I love you or 44 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:51,440 I want you, especially men, I used to think when they said 45 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,920 that, that they meant it. But you see, as I keep growing 46 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,080 and healing, I start to realize that love is really an action 47 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,120 like, like a verb. It's a doing what meaning that 48 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,760 it has to be backed up with action to be real. 49 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,840 The words and the actions always have too much. 50 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:12,200 So while people who love you will hurt your feelings and they 51 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,600 will still disappoint you and they will break your heart, it 52 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,680 also so happens that when people genuinely and truly do love you, 53 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,400 there is no doubt of this love. Whether you guys are going 54 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,840 through a rough patch or you're angry at each other, the love is 55 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,120 always consistent because how they feel about you is never 56 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,240 changed by the actions. Panika Katikati It's kind of 57 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,800 like your siblings. You guys will fight about your 58 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,840 sister wore your shirt, but that does not change the fact that 59 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,960 you would give her a kidney in a heartbeat or you would actually 60 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,560 die for her. You'll fight with your mom, but 61 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,520 no matter where you go, no matter how you feel, you know 62 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:50,240 deep down that the love she has for you is always there. 63 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,400 Of course kuna exceptions, but you know what I mean. 64 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,360 So when someone loves you, the feeling doesn't go away. 65 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,400 You will always consistently feel the love whether they are 66 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,360 6,000,000 miles away from you or they are sitting next to you and 67 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,640 not speaking with you or you guys are going through a rough 68 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,360 patch. You just had a bad argument. 69 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,000 You're fighting nothing. Nothing can Make Love. 70 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,320 And love can only be transmuted, transformed, changed. 71 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,040 Like energy they say. They say you can't kill energy. 72 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,600 Energy never dies. You cannot kill energy. 73 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:26,840 It just can be translated into else so the love never really 74 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,560 goes away. So if someone is acting 75 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:34,960 indifferent or like they're not sure about you or like the they, 76 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,200 you know those fencers, those people who try to say, to say, 77 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,960 you know, I can love you, but I don't have to talk to you all 78 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,360 the time. I can love you. 79 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,200 Listen, someone loves you. They are going to meet you 80 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,640 halfway to make sure that you are in their life. 81 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,960 And this does not even happen mechanically. 82 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:54,520 It is such a background process. It is such a subconscious 83 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,720 process. It's just something you do when 84 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,200 you like someone, you start to want to be around them, to show 85 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,320 them love, to make sure that they are safe and make sure 86 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,560 especially that they feel very loved for you. 87 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,720 So please do not fall for words, do not fall for the things 88 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,880 people say, and also do not fall for actions. 89 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,560 Only remember these people who can put up with doing things for 90 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,320 you because simply they can't afford it or they have the time 91 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,240 or they can make someone else do it. 92 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,360 But actions and words must match. 93 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,080 If someone is telling you they love you, you must feel it, you 94 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,880 must know it by heart, you must be able to tell in your robot. 95 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:37,360 Anna nitenda attaka mini tukana Anna nitenda, I miss you. 96 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,680 Do not fall for us. Because people can say anything 97 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,080 to get what they want. And sometimes they even tell you 98 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,960 the truth. They might even present it as 99 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,360 honesty. They might even say, hey, I 100 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,680 don't want you. I'm not ready for a 101 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,080 relationship. I'm very busy. 102 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,520 I can't right now. I don't want to listen. 103 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,160 Listen to those words. So these men especially, they 104 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,160 tell us the truth. They tell us how they feel. 105 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,560 They tell us exactly how it is. You'll tell a man I like you, 106 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:13,120 blah blah blah, whether I'm a kukatiya akaka France akaka baya 107 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,560 flowers akaku fanias ginini akalipa mahari. 108 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,600 And then he tells you, listen, I'm not ready for a 109 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,680 relationship. This is not something I want. 110 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:26,320 Then where we on a Kapu unanza kukivia nakumabu Zako that you 111 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,480 can start trying to change his mind, that you can make him 112 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,760 start to love you because you know he's done all these things. 113 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,320 He's shown you all these actions. 114 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,320 Remember, his words are not matching. 115 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,880 His words have to match like the things he's saying and the 116 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,560 things he's doing, they have to go hand in hand with each other 117 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,680 and the other side as well. If he's saying I love you, I 118 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:51,720 want to be your friend, You're your friend. 119 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:56,280 This guy had been hitting on me for years, this story. 120 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,600 So finally I gave him a chance and I, I decided, you know, I'm 121 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,840 gonna okay, fine, let's get to know each other. 122 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,560 We hung out a few times and then he told me, you know, I want to 123 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,440 be your friend. I want That was always his 124 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,160 stick. That was always his thing. 125 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,000 I want to be friends, Friendship, friends, friends, 126 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,320 friends. Nilim Panulevi Migu Keisha. 127 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,520 Keisha isn't my friendship. He never ever showed up for me 128 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,760 as a friend. Never. 129 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,600 No communication, nothing after the sex. 130 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,240 But before the sex he had all these stories about how he 131 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,440 wanted to be my friend. Now when I look back, I realized 132 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,000 there's nothing this guy did that showed he was my friend. 133 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,960 He literally didn't even like me. 134 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,800 He didn't even talk to me. He never even wanted to be with 135 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,480 me. I don't even know what the fuck 136 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,520 I fell for. He had a standing order for 137 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,840 flowers for me. He gave me anything I want. 138 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:45,880 I could call him anytime time for anything. 139 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,360 I need some money, I need this I need this. 140 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,560 He will do anything for me to say. 141 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,880 I'm so sure if I call him he'll give me whatever I want. 142 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,240 But he he told me he told me I'm not ready for a relationship. 143 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,080 And you see I wasn't even trying to get into a relationship with 144 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,840 him. I just think I don't want to 145 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,880 give any excuses for him. But I think things got a bit too 146 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,840 intense. But I always wonder, you wanted 147 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,040 to be my friend. So when I start expecting the 148 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,680 friendship aspect, why is it crickets? 149 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,160 You said you wanted to be my friend after sex. 150 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,440 That change, I should have listened. 151 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,760 I didn't listen. I didn't listen to my actions. 152 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,120 Have to always match. You must always see the 153 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:26,400 intentionality, someone showing up for you, someone putting in 154 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:30,240 the effort to be near or around you or to be with you. 155 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:33,840 It must be very consistent. And I like to give my mom as an 156 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,840 example because I didn't grow up having the best relationship 157 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,240 with her. But right now we are 158 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,200 consistently walking on our relationship with each other. 159 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,760 We talk, we communicate, we tell each other the truth. 160 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,880 We show up for each other. That woman has shown up for me 161 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,440 consistently when we're fighting, when she's broke, when 162 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,400 she's sick, when she's sad. You'd say, oh, of course, she's 163 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,760 your mom. She has to do that. 164 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:59,200 But once you start to see how much sacrifice it takes for 165 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,520 people to show up because they love you, you start to 166 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,360 appreciate it in a very different way. 167 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,320 And it starts to elevate your thought process on what love 168 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,240 looks like. You stop settling for things 169 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,120 that are, you know, Sidri Vituzha Kejinga. 170 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:17,560 On my latest episode on the podcast, we were talking about 171 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,960 men and women and how in the nursing homes, the nurses are 172 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,720 saying that the men are dying alone and the women are dying 173 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,480 surrounded by community. The women have as much as their 174 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,640 primary school friends coming to visit them in Hospice in the 175 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,640 while they're dying at 87, at 90, people who are not even 176 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,520 related to them are taking care of them in the hospitals. 177 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,280 While the men, they spent their time ignoring the fact that they 178 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,880 will be nice to build community. They spent their time playing, 179 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,360 cheating, lying, ignoring community, focusing on only 180 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,680 making money. And then you realize that it 181 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,720 gets to a point where even your money can't really save you 182 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,200 because you need to be surrounded by community. 183 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:05,240 Where is it, Jessica, when you're 101 years old? 184 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,680 We need each other. It would it would be so nice if 185 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,760 we put effort into building community so that we're able to 186 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,040 be there for each other. And it is in these communities 187 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,560 that women are building where I've been able to see what love 188 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,720 feels like. Me and my gals, we go to the 189 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,160 fanciest restaurants. We, we go to the nicest dates. 190 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,400 We do the nicest things together. 191 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,800 So for a man to even want to come into my life, maybe to 192 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,040 downgrade it or to make me feel like the things I'm already used 193 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,280 to are, you know, to try and be condescending about it. 194 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,200 It's just like, bro, my community is showing me love. 195 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,760 I have women from primary school who love me, who treat me really 196 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,560 well, who show up for me, who give me love. 197 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,120 And it's not just superficial, it's actual relationships that 198 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,720 we've built for years and years and years and we're growing all 199 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,080 that together. It's just something, it's just 200 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,560 something else. So if this, if my female 201 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:03,120 communities are showing me this kind of love, my friend groups, 202 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,160 my mother, my sisters, my cousins, my friends, my fans, 203 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,360 everybody who encourages me, everybody who loves me, they're 204 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,280 not trying to take from me. They're not trying to lie to me 205 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,960 so that they can sleep with me. Women just love me for real. 206 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,120 If that's my standard for love, do you see how difficult it 207 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,280 would be for me to settle for anything less? 208 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,840 Anyone who doesn't CG buy me flowers or Take Me Out over the 209 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,320 weekend. This guy I know he's going to 210 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,680 take offense if he he has this, but there's this guy who you 211 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:37,640 know he called me and he introduced himself and he told 212 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,600 me you know I'm so and so blah blah blah I've had a crush on 213 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:44,040 you for like 3 years. I sent him my number last year a 214 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,320 time like this. So it's taken him a year to call 215 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,320 me and I asked him why he did that and he said it's because he 216 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,800 has ego and I asked what's the ego about and he said because I 217 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,280 also took an A year to send him my number. 218 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,000 But you see the reason I took long to send him my number is 219 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,680 because I did not see it in the DMS. 220 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,000 Now that he calls me over the weekend and he's like, hey, come 221 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,720 over to my house, I'll be good company. 222 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,800 We'll do something nice. And I told him I'm not 223 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,000 comfortable coming to your house for a fast date. 224 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,360 That doesn't even, it's weird. Literally all I've been talking 225 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,600 about of late is constant and femicide and rape. 226 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,200 So you want me to come to your house? 227 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,080 And you know, now I'm a bit more cautious because the last guy 228 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,160 who told me to go to his house, Alini Dina, it's that guy who 229 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,240 catered me also a lafaca, a Canyon, be a friends, friends, a 230 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,400 lafunica and a Canadina. Can you talk? 231 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,080 So now I'm a bit wary. First of all, I'm not coming to 232 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,440 anyone's house. I am not doing that. 233 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,880 That was even even the first date. 234 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,560 This guy had the audacity to ask me to meet him for the first 235 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,560 time. And I told him I'm not really 236 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,960 used to that because the kind of guys I did, they show up with 237 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,960 flowers on the first date and they want to Take Me Out to a 238 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,360 really, really nice place. And this is just standard for 239 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:55,600 me. This is what I do with my 240 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,040 girlfriends. It's not at your standard at in 241 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:02,280 e-mail now online Nikanza copy. This is exactly what me and my 242 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,800 friends do sometimes even on a weekly basis. 243 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,240 We go out to eat somewhere nice, not just eating. 244 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,560 We do a lot of fun activities together, things that, you know, 245 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,280 create memories and make us feel a lot of love. 246 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,440 And this is what I enjoy to do. And I told him, unfortunately, 247 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,280 that's not what I'm used to. Maybe if he and he was 248 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:24,080 insisting, you know, cancel all your plans show up Nini nini 249 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,520 nini. I'm like, why would I? 250 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,920 He had no regard for me saying I was uncomfortable. 251 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:32,040 He kept insisting. And this already told me the 252 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,560 kind of person he was gonna be because he started talking 253 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:39,320 about, oh, I'm A Celebrity. I'm a what figure? 254 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,360 I have ego. Mina Shanga, too. 255 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,600 Why? Why would I be ever paired up 256 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,320 with someone who has too much ego? 257 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,400 I'm such a he starts saying you, you know, you seem like a 258 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,760 douchebag. Yeah. 259 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:55,640 Is this how guys? Is this how I have literally 260 00:13:55,640 --> 00:14:00,200 never met a man I have never spoken to a man who wasn't head 261 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,720 over heels over me and completely sweet and romantic 262 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,240 and when I told him about the flowers he said that's not going 263 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,280 to happen. Huh. 264 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,800 My, my friends buy me flowers for fun. 265 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:12,960 I buy myself flowers all the time. 266 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,240 So already that already shows me a apana Unim 2. 267 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,680 These are the silly arguments we're going to be having if 268 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:24,440 anything were to come out of it. But if I were desperate, if I 269 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:29,520 was broke, hungry, desperate, horny, in need of external 270 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,880 validation and attention, I would have gone. 271 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,920 I would have said, OK, this is a guy who has money. 272 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,480 He's going to take care of things. 273 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,120 He's going to buy everything I want, Let me go. 274 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,320 But because I'm able to see his actions. 275 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,440 He's had a crush on me for three years, but it's taken him one 276 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,840 phone call to destroy everything. 277 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,560 Nah, that's not the kind of guy I would ever be. 278 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:56,320 Got around Mina Fender the Lavi Davis the sweet, romantic, 279 00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:01,920 emotionally available, sweet, kind commutative kind of men. 280 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,920 So I'm going to show you a few signs that I've been able to 281 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,560 look out for when I am picking these guys that I date that have 282 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,600 made me date better and for the longest for a very long time, 283 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,880 I've always been dating up. All my exes are actually really 284 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,520 really nice people. They're actually people who 285 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,800 improved my life, improved my dating life, improved my 286 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,400 standards because they always left me. 287 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,240 While they've taught me to love myself more or to to have higher 288 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,640 standards. Even if they did me that the end 289 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,320 of truly cost. I realized that as consistent 290 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,400 pattern with everyone I've ever dated is they left me better 291 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,720 than they found me. And that's a really good thing. 292 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,640 Whether it's well traveled, dressing better, speaking 293 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,480 better, loving myself better, it's always a plus. 294 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:49,720 And I am sure this happened because I intentionally and 295 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:53,720 deliberately stopped dating men who are not my type and men who 296 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,920 do not treat me well. Meaning I had to improve what my 297 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,880 type was for me by improving myself, by becoming an amazing 298 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,560 person myself so that I can recognize the good people. 299 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,880 So first of all, you have to realize that today's episode is 300 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,960 for the ladies and the people who date men. 301 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,600 First of all, you have to realize that men love to show 302 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,760 off, especially to other men. So that's something that's a 303 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,560 really huge deal to them. I always give an excuse I don't 304 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,160 like. I'm not comparing women to 305 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,400 inanimate objects, but you can see it in the things that they 306 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,040 own, whether it's a nice car or the nice shoes or when he gets a 307 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,480 nice haircut. What's the first thing they do? 308 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,680 They love to be seen. They love to show off. 309 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,920 So if your mind is not being intentional about being seen 310 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:40,520 with you, about showing you off and it doesn't have to be AT the 311 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:45,000 prep piece G post you all over social media must GG post you. 312 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,960 It doesn't have to be that. It just has to be in the simple 313 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,920 things like doing stuff with you. 314 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,160 If he's hiding you in the house, the only time you guys meet is 315 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,000 when he's fucking you in the in the house. 316 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,240 He never lets you go anywhere. He never wants to be seen with 317 00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,640 you. He never invites you out 318 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,480 anything. Never, never, never. 319 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,480 That's not someone who's proud to be with you. 320 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,359 That's someone who's hiding you. And that's something we never 321 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,760 saw. When I was younger, I used to 322 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,839 think this guy wants to fuck me all the time because I'm the 323 00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:13,800 hottest girl he's ever been with and he's just so turned on by 324 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,680 me. Wrong. 325 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,400 He wants to fuck me all the time because I'm available to be 326 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:21,160 fucked all the time. It's all I was available for. 327 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,880 I didn't have my life. I didn't have my things going 328 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,440 on. You see now and someone invites 329 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,200 me out and tells me cancel your plans. 330 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,880 I'm like, what? What? 331 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:33,200 Bro, I have a life. Someone else asked me out and I 332 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,800 told them I'm sorry, I can't come out because, you know, I 333 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,800 have a little kitten. I have to take care of him. 334 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,800 Said find a nanny, find a nanny and I'll pay. 335 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,280 So you see the difference. These are the kind of guys I'm 336 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,880 used to. And then there's someone who's 337 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,120 telling me I taken to buy flowers. 338 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,920 That's so crazy to me. That's so crazy to me. 339 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,640 And sometimes they will do the actions. 340 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,120 But even with the actions, you have to be very careful because 341 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,200 listen, a rich man can afford anything. 342 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,960 Sending you flowers every week, he can pay for that. 343 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,560 Taking you on vacation, he can pay for that. 344 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,680 Sending you food, CG taking you to rest. 345 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,240 He can pay for that. He can. 346 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,920 So sometimes they do the actions, but these actions only 347 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,320 benefit them. The only the best way to realize 348 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,800 that a man likes you or he wants to be with you and he wants to 349 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,320 take care of you is the things he does for you or the things he 350 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,640 loves to do for you. They do not even directly 351 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,120 benefit him. If it's a vacation, let him send 352 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,320 you on it alone because if he tells you babe, let's go on 353 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,040 vacation. I've paid for everything, 354 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,240 sweetie. He could have easily paid a 355 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,440 prostitute to go on that vacation with him. 356 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,080 He could have easily done that. Or he could have gone and met 357 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,160 another girl there. So him taking you on vacation is 358 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,560 not a gift to you, it's a gift to him. 359 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,440 He wants to be seen with a Pretty Woman on his arm. 360 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,960 It could be anyone. A gift is when he gives you 361 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,960 something and he's not benefiting from it. 362 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,640 You'll go with him there. No, it'll be you suck Dick daily 363 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,400 and you know on vacation is when they want to try crazy things. 364 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,360 He's going to make you want to do anal with him. 365 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,120 You have no rent. Your business is stalling 366 00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:08,640 because you're away on vacation because you are told it's paid 367 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,400 for. My ex called me a few weeks ago, 368 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,600 like 2 weeks ago, and this is the exact thing. 369 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,720 He told me I want to take you out on vacation, blah blah blah. 370 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,280 And I told him OK, so there's the things I need to do. 371 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,880 I need to do some shopping, I need to pay my bills, I need 372 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:23,400 them. And then. 373 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,960 And then he said he didn't talk to me again. 374 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:34,360 So Mika fikiria umm too. I had nothing to do. 375 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,680 I was just bored at home waiting for him to take me on vacation. 376 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,400 I can pay for my own vacation, but why do you want me to go on 377 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,040 vacation with you so that you can have eye candy on your arm 378 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,800 and someone to sleep with the way you want. 379 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,960 I don't want to be that. I don't want to be that. 380 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,480 If it's if it's a gift, if you're gifting me, let me go by 381 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,240 myself. Let me go by myself. 382 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,360 Things like taking me out to the restaurant. 383 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,560 I've had even Kitambo, I would have people bring it up like I 384 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,160 used to do this for her. I used to buy her baby. 385 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,080 These are things I can do for myself. 386 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,760 It's not a gift if I'm not benefiting directly. 387 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,960 I have food at my home, in my house. 388 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,400 I can cook, I can take your. Of myself. 389 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,880 So that's not really a big benefit you're doing to me. 390 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:21,200 Your words and your actions must match. 391 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,880 You have to be wary of the emotionally unavailable guys 392 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,320 because they lie, they can say anything and they mask and and 393 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,600 they mirror you just to have something to say and something 394 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,640 to make you fall for. And behind this, you start to 395 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,120 realize that he doesn't care. He doesn't even listen, he 396 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:41,520 doesn't get it. There's no communication. 397 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,040 And if you stick around in such situations, Uta Ji Pata, you've 398 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,880 wasted your best years. Words and actions must always 399 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,440 match each other. And I told you the best way to 400 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,880 look out for such is in your female friendships. 401 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,640 When your girlfriend says when you tell your girlfriend I'm 402 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,040 sick and your girl runs with soup to cook for for you to take 403 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,840 care of you. She doesn't even have to say I 404 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,440 love you, but you'll see it when you tell your mom I'm sick mom 405 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,800 joby Mesha and your mom tells you come back home, come home. 406 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,000 I will take care of you When your parents when your dad tells 407 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,080 you oh see fikiro mufukuza rudiniumbani. 408 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:16,800 Sometimes I don't even have to say it. 409 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,520 It's in the way my parents have been trying to get me to move 410 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,960 back home for the whole year. They've been so scared I might 411 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,600 not be able to make it outside here without like a regular 412 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,040 income. But I've made it so far and the 413 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,320 year is almost over. But I can see how in their love 414 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,000 they're trying to make sure I'm comfortable. 415 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,000 I'm well taken care of. My parents have been so 416 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,400 supportive this whole time, letting me navigate my own life 417 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,920 while still consistently me showing me that I have a home. 418 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,280 I can always go back home, Sija focus a home and I can always go 419 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,560 back. Words and actions must always 420 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,120 match. I keep repeating this. 421 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:56,480 Someone could tell you all the words and have no actions and 422 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,960 someone could show you all the actions and have no words. 423 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,160 You need reassurance. You need validation from your 424 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,960 pastor, and you need to be loved and you need to feel needed and 425 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,720 wanted. And it's normal. 426 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,560 It's such a normal thing. It's such a thing that we should 427 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,600 have open a communication about. Stay away from people who never 428 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,000 take accountability when you bring out your feelings, when 429 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,200 you tell them what you want. People who do not change after 430 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,240 they apologize, they might act like they're very concerned and 431 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,600 like they've listened, but if you have to consistently repeat 432 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,840 yourself, it just means they don't want to. 433 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,680 It just means they just, they just don't like you. 434 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,000 I say all these things because I have treated people in this way. 435 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,880 I have been in situations with people who I didn't know how to 436 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,800 break up with, but I was so scared of like breaking things 437 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,480 off. So instead of being direct, I 438 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,520 would avoid them if avoid their calls. 439 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,400 And I would also do these things, say things like, oh, I'm 440 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,160 busy, I don't have time. I want here. 441 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,800 I went here. But I started realizing that 442 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,960 when you drag someone like that and you're lying to them and 443 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,480 you're not being honest, you're actually breaking their heart. 444 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,520 And it's so unfair. It's so unfair to put someone in 445 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,840 a situation where they have to consistently guess. 446 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,640 Will Roberta talk to me today? How does she feel? 447 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,440 Does she like me? Does she love me at a sicko 448 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,800 heart? Like in a year? 449 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,360 The whole time they're dying of anxiety because they do not know 450 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,360 how I feel because I do not communicate. 451 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,600 And I'm bringing this up because it's important for us to be 452 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,120 aware to stop these things. For I know we can have different 453 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:30,840 attachment styles, but it's your responsibility as a grown up to 454 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,680 be able to communicate and say, hey, I don't like you anymore. 455 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,120 I don't want to do this. But not everyone is like that. 456 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,720 Not everyone will come and tell you. 457 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,120 That's why you have to be wiser so that you're able to see the 458 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,360 signs before he starts telling you. 459 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,120 You know, most men will actually never tell you. 460 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:50,600 They'll never come up to you and tell you, I don't like you 461 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,960 anymore. They'll just start withdrawing 462 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,720 or treating you badly and expecting you to catch up. 463 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,240 And they will just light you. And you ask them, you know, can 464 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,400 we meet today? And then he'll cancel and he 465 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,000 doesn't give an explanation and he acts like he didn't remember 466 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,520 you guys are supposed to hang out. 467 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,920 And when you're asking him, he'll make you feel like you're 468 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,680 being too emotional or you're asking for too much immediately. 469 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,120 You're in such a situation where you feel like you have to beg to 470 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:22,240 be loved, to be given attention, to be given basic human respect, 471 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,320 to be shown love. Any with two basics of 472 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,280 friendship attasiza relationship. 473 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,520 You're not even telling him to marry you, you're just asking 474 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,440 him to communicate better. When it reaches a point you have 475 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,800 to do that. Just know you deserve better and 476 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,240 you should go somewhere where you're loved. 477 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,400 But I don't have to come and hold your hand and tell you hey 478 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,200 babe, he just doesn't like you. He's just not that into you. 479 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,800 You should be able to see it because if you're working on 480 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:49,880 yourself, then by extension, you cannot allow such people to be 481 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,160 in your life. You can't be around someone who 482 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,240 doesn't show you love. When you're loving yourself 483 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,960 completely, you'll be able to notice the deficit and listen. 484 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,880 Love is not a Tutu. I love you. 485 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,160 I love you giving you money. Love is in the doing. 486 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,840 It's in the showing up. It's in the, you know, getting 487 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,280 home and someone has made you a nice hot meal. 488 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,040 They literally had the choice not to because they love you. 489 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,600 They can't even fathom not doing it for you. 490 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,360 It's such a thing that comes from deep in the heart and it's 491 00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:20,960 not something that can be taught. 492 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:26,080 Empathy, emotional intelligence, availability of emotions, all 493 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,360 these things are things you, you either live. 494 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,440 You either grow up with them or you land them along your 495 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,880 relationships. So being with someone who's not 496 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,320 able to master this, it will completely drain you. 497 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,600 Sometimes communication is hard, but when you love, you learn. 498 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,760 When you love someone, you put yourself in a position to do 499 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,600 better for them. It's such an intentional and 500 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,600 subconscious thought that comes about. 501 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:53,400 Love is peaceful and kind and empathetic and it always 502 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,520 compromises. Upwards, upwards, never 503 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,200 backwards, never going down, upwards. 504 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,600 Have high standards for your friendships so that your 505 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,280 standards for your lovers can be even higher. 506 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,760 And apply this in whatever relationship you're in. 507 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,480 But my point is, whether you're dating men or women, put 508 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,360 yourself in a position where you're able to see that, OK, 509 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,160 maybe he's just not that into me. 510 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,720 Despite him saying he likes me, he loves me, he wants me, he 511 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,480 wants to be with me. People say things all the time, 512 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,080 all the time. I couldn't tell you how many 513 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,600 times I've said things I didn't mean. 514 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,240 People do this all the time. So you have to make sure, just 515 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,080 to make sure that you take care of yourself better, you have 516 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,320 better hygiene emotionally, you love yourself more. 517 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,040 Make sure the words and the actions are matching. 518 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,720 Make sure the things he's doing for you and the things he's 519 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,840 saying to you are matching. And if they're not, protect your 520 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,680 heart. Do not sit around and waste your 521 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,080 best years begging someone for basic human decency. 522 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,560 It's not right. It's going to drain you. 523 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,400 And listen, it's OK when he doesn't like you. 524 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,280 It's not the end of the world. It doesn't mean you're gonna die 525 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,320 from it. It just means he doesn't. 526 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,080 That's all. It means he doesn't like you. 527 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:08,280 There's no there's nothing else beyond that. 528 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,360 It's nothing personal in you. Sometimes you like people, 529 00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:13,560 sometimes you don't, and it's fine. 530 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,000 Do not try to convince someone to like you, to be with you, to 531 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,400 choose you. When it's natural, it feels 532 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,680 better and it feels more authentic. 533 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,600 Love yourself so that you're able to tell when people love 534 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,560 you. Genuinely trust yourself and 535 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,200 choose yourself. Teach yourself better so that 536 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:33,440 when people see you and people choose you, you're able to see 537 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,960 if it's genuine or not. All this high gene starts itself 538 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,360 even before you can blame. Why didn't he text me? 539 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,280 Why didn't he just tell me the truth? 540 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,840 Why was he lying? He lied because you're gullible, 541 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,160 because you believe lies, because he could test you and it 542 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,240 walks on you. Liars will lie, They will always 543 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,200 lie. But do your part to make sure 544 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,640 that when he lies, you're going to be able to see there's a 545 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,120 discrepancy over here. Take care of yourself and 546 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:00,760 remember, not being liked is not the end of the world. 547 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,880 So many people don't like you and it literally doesn't matter. 548 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,680 Go where you're loved. Go to the people who like you. 549 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,960 Go to the people who you don't have to beg and let them love 550 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,560 you for who you are. Don't forget to watch me every 551 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:17,400 Tuesday on Citizen TV on Daybreak at 8:00 AM and check 552 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,240 out my blog, the Love and Orgasms blog, Love and 553 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,640 orgasms.com and read my stuff. Tell me what you think about it, 554 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:24,360 tutus.