1 00:00:20,530 --> 00:00:24,210 Every time I listen to someone speak, I'm always thinking, Oh 2 00:00:24,210 --> 00:00:29,090 my goodness, this person is so smart and it usually fascinates 3 00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:32,490 me how quickly the things they're thinking in their mind 4 00:00:32,650 --> 00:00:36,930 and the way they say the words and deliver to someone else. 5 00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:40,090 It's so quick, like the connection is so quick, and I 6 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:44,400 used to wonder how are great speakers able to do this, 7 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:48,240 especially hanging around the people I've been hanging around 8 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,800 the last couple of years. A lot of amazing speakers and 9 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:57,840 authors, writers, actors, poets, Yanni, Wasetuana, Jokubonga. 10 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:03,080 It always made me wonder what is it that this person is doing so 11 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:07,720 that it's so easy for them to be able to communicate a message so 12 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:12,720 much easier without stuttering, without fear and anxiety. 13 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,760 So it was always something I always wanted to learn. 14 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:20,560 And growing up, I was really, I was really, how can I say, 15 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,080 Nilikum no Masana in languages throughout my schooling. 16 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:27,120 So even the English, like the language teachers used to love 17 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,040 me a lot because of how I used to write and how I used to 18 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,440 speak. And I got a lot of compliments 19 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,320 growing up about my eloquence and how I speak, but it's not 20 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,240 something I thought was a big deal. 21 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,360 And then when I grew up and started meeting people who I 22 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,280 actually admired and who commanded, you know, that energy 23 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,400 of being like, they can make an audience listen. 24 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,720 They can command attention in a very beautiful way. 25 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,560 Yeah. I always strived to be that kind 26 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,560 of person. Recently, I've been getting a 27 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,720 lot of compliments about from people who either listen to the 28 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:06,560 blog or watch me every week on the Daybreak show on Citizen TV. 29 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,600 It's normally on Tuesdays in the morning at 8:00 AM. 30 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,640 People who watch me or consume my stuff, even on the Dialogues 31 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:17,480 of Jagiro podcast, even Jagiro himself, my friends, my family, 32 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,760 sometimes they ask me, how do you do it? 33 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,800 How are you able to speak and communicate your thoughts and 34 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:28,440 your words so clearly? And I realized the same way I 35 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,560 ask about people who I feel like are better than me is how the 36 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,640 people who watch me notice how good I am. 37 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,680 And they have the same questions because they're trying to be 38 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,800 lamb. I guess wanting to be a great 39 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,480 comes from interest. First of all. 40 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,200 It comes from curiosity, comes from you asking questions and 41 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,360 even thinking is this a good thing and how will it benefit 42 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:50,920 me? How does me being able to 43 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:54,480 communicate my thoughts and my feelings benefit me? 44 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,800 Or how does it make me a better person? 45 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,400 Asking yourself such questions puts you in a space where you're 46 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,160 able to want to learn and be teachable. 47 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,400 And I guess me having this curiosity is something that 48 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:12,320 actually sparked a new energy for my career and me wanting to 49 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,960 do the things that I'm doing right now. 50 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,920 I mean, with my podcast, with my intimacy and relationship 51 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:22,800 coaching, with my media speaking and just anywhere, anywhere you 52 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:26,120 see me yapping and talking, it's a genuine interest, something 53 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,720 that I eventually ended up wanting to perform. 54 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,000 Because even if you like something, if you're not working 55 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,520 towards you becoming better at it, you kind of remain average. 56 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:41,080 And I always remember this talk Caroline Mutoko gave somewhere, 57 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,600 I can't remember where we were at, and she was speaking, I 58 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,200 think it was at school when I was at Daystar. 59 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,880 She came to give a speech and she said something about how you 60 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,160 being great and you wanting better is something anyone can 61 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,200 do, but also you choosing to remain average and just being OK 62 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,680 with what you have and what you want currently. 63 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,080 There's no problem with it, but you have to realize you having 64 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:07,280 an average yearning for learning keeps you in an average life, 65 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,040 makes you drive an average car, gives you average friends, 66 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,280 average marriage, average children. 67 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:17,880 Your money is average. The way you speak is average. 68 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,279 The things you'll do are going to be average. 69 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:23,360 It's just going to be to have one average life. 70 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,160 So you have to make the decision if what you want is to be 71 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,840 average in the things you do, or you have the option to actually 72 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:33,120 be the best at whatever you're setting out to do and not in 73 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,560 competition with other people. It's just with yourself. 74 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,640 Me reaching a point in my life where I was able to say, OK, 75 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,240 yeah, everyone loves way. I mean, everyone at least that 76 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,320 has met me or is around me, compliments me about how I 77 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:49,560 speak, what I say, my eloquence and my vast knowledge of the 78 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,520 things I'm really interested in. I used to think, you know, I 79 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,800 know how to speak. I know how to it doesn't matter. 80 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,160 But then you I realized that that was just the average level, 81 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,520 exposing myself to people who are way better than me at 82 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,680 whatever it is that I was doing, even if they were in different 83 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,880 fields or different levels and ages in their lives. 84 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,320 It taught me, Oh my God, Kumbe, I can do even better than I am 85 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,480 right now. Of course, I started pushing 86 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,160 myself to emulate and be better, and I think this is healthy. 87 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,360 I don't know if I can call it comparison, but it's healthy 88 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,120 where you see someone else who's better than you and then you try 89 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,120 to to match. I think that's a really healthy 90 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,800 way of you putting yourself in a position to learn and do better. 91 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,560 Someone in the DMS on Instagram asked me how are you such a 92 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,960 great speaker? How do you do it? 93 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,600 And I was like, I should probably talk about it so I can 94 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,440 share all the knowledge I have on it. 95 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,560 If someone is trying to learn and be better than me, it's 96 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,120 going to help benefit them. And I'm going to give you a 97 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,680 little bit reassurance. This advice does not just focus 98 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,360 on speaking. I'm sure you could probably 99 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,680 apply it in all other areas of your life. 100 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,560 Like as always on this podcast, we could be talking about 101 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,200 something, but if it it's in another area of your life, well 102 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,240 and good should use it and apply it and learn it. 103 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:26,840 The reason I started Love and Orgasms podcast is because I 104 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,640 wanted to create a space where talking about discussions that 105 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,960 were a bit taboo in the African setting was made easier. 106 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,800 And this is sex and relationships, especially for 107 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,840 women. This meant that I wanted to 108 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:43,160 create an authentic space where I have No Fear of sharing my 109 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,440 thoughts and my feelings. And actually, that's the 110 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,120 description on my website when you go to loveandorgasms.com. 111 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,320 It's just a space for me to talk about the things I'm feeling and 112 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,280 thinking without caring who is going to see it, who is going to 113 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,760 read it. It's my journal of some sort. 114 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,640 But it's me growing with whoever wants to grow with me and 115 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,640 teaching the things that I've learned along the way so that I 116 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,760 don't leave anyone who listens to me behind. 117 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,000 Because this, this has to be joint effort. 118 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,400 Because if I'm able to do better and everyone around me is doing 119 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,280 well, then we're all winning and we can all be there for each 120 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,480 other to remind each other in the times that, you know, you're 121 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:24,680 going through a plateau in your life or a valley so that by the 122 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,760 time you're ready to get back up the mountain, you're going to 123 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,560 lift me up. If I'm down, it's for all of us 124 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,960 to grow. It's a Sunday afternoon, OK 125 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:38,120 evening, and I've been preparing for my set of meetings and 126 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,880 interviews and everything that I have lined up for the week. 127 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,240 I like to prepare in time so that I'm not surprised about 128 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,840 anything. And I find that it also gives me 129 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,400 a lot of confidence when it comes to me speaking in public. 130 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,360 I mean, always being a great speaker, or at least always 131 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:57,400 being told I am already gave me the validation that, you know, I 132 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,120 can do no wrong. That meant I used to wing a lot 133 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,360 of these things. I'd wing a lot of meetings. 134 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:06,320 I'd wing a lot of just a lot of things because I don't know, I, 135 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,720 I know I ended up teaching myself how to have this alter 136 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,520 ego. I'm always joking about how 137 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,720 sometimes I feel like, you know, that thing. 138 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,560 Rihanna says she was asked this question. 139 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,560 What do you do on the the days where you don't feel confident? 140 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,160 And she said fake it. So I think that's how me having 141 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,920 a lot of confidence began. I just woke up one day and 142 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,280 decided, yo, there's nothing to learn. 143 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:31,800 There's no lessons or things I should go and watch on YouTube. 144 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,440 So you do this, do this. It's just me deciding, okay, you 145 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,039 know what, I'm going to be confident. 146 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:39,880 And that's what I started doing. People tell me you're so 147 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,799 confident, but they don't know I'm actually about to pee my 148 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:47,240 pants in front of an audience. But I guess I think everyone 149 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,560 gets anxious, especially in the beginning of, you know, 150 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,360 something new that you've never tried out or something that 151 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,720 you're trying to learn or even if you're a pro, sometimes 152 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,600 you're probably going to get a bit anxious. 153 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:03,320 And I want to talk about how to overcome this anxiety and help 154 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,800 you become well equipped, especially in today, 155 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,960 specifically in matters about being a great speaker. 156 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:16,760 So last year in 2024. I usually plan my years ahead. 157 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,680 I don't know if this is crazy, you can tell me if you think 158 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:23,520 it's crazy in the comments, but I usually plan my yearly 159 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,960 calendar of activities and everything that I should be 160 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:31,880 doing work wise especially I always plan it in December, the 161 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,440 December preceding the new year so that the whole year I'm 162 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:39,440 entering January very relaxed knowing I always know what I'm 163 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,720 supposed to do when by when. I've already planned it all out 164 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,520 from January to December and then everything else that 165 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,760 happens is just about me fixing it into my calendar where 166 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,720 there's a space. And I like that because it helps 167 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,040 me become very prepared mentally. 168 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,400 I go into the new year knowing what I want to achieve, the 169 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,240 goals I have for the year. Yeah, and most times I surpass 170 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,720 this goals. I've talked about this year 171 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,040 before. I surpass this goals way before 172 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,120 the time. Sometimes it's just in March and 173 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,000 I've done everything I said I wanted to do. 174 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,920 I'm left with the rest of the year to just fill my days in, 175 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,000 which is such a good thing because not only does it give me 176 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,480 the validation that I don't know if it's validation I'm usually 177 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,840 seeking, but it gives me a lot of confidence, like in myself. 178 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,640 And it makes me fall more in love with myself because I get 179 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,600 so excited about keeping my watch to myself and doing the 180 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,320 things I said I was going to do. It does make me feel really, 181 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,120 really good. And sometimes I achieve these 182 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,600 goals even without looking at my to do lists and planners just 183 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,160 because already in December, I already knew what I wanted to 184 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,720 do. I'll end up my, I don't know if 185 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,920 it's a, it's a manifesting thing, but I'll end up finding 186 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,960 out, figuring out I've done everything I wanted to do so 187 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,280 much earlier into the year than even I intended. 188 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,040 And of course, this is a good thing. 189 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,680 It's a good feeling. In the December of 2023, I had 190 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:04,040 decided for 2024, I wanted to expand my speaking capabilities 191 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,960 and I wanted to be a professional speaker, someone 192 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,720 who speaks for a living rather gets paid to speak. 193 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,520 And it's not something I thought about a lot, but my end goal is, 194 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,280 I don't know if I should share now, but my end goal for what 195 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,280 I'm doing, is it really an end goal? 196 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,680 I don't know if it's an end goal. 197 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,640 I've always wanted to have my own TV show where I can do the 198 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:29,560 things I'm doing, but I'm not the production team. 199 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,080 I'm just the face of things because that I think is what I 200 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,680 enjoy the most. And I know I do this on TV, but 201 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:39,160 I want something that is mine where I can achieve and grow all 202 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,200 these things I have in my head. When I think about myself, when 203 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,200 I was really, really young, I used to religiously watch the 204 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:50,200 Oprah show and Tyra Banks show. And I remember thinking one day 205 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,960 I'm going to be on TV like these beautiful women. 206 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,080 So anytime I'd watch TV and the woman was hosting a show, I used 207 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,840 to think one day this is going to be me. 208 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,200 I never knew how this is going to work because even as a kid, I 209 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:05,280 don't think I knew I was going to study broadcast journalism in 210 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,000 school, but I had, I always had this feeling that I was going to 211 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,440 end up on TV. And so I, I all along, since I 212 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,680 will, I left school, my career has always been towards the 213 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:21,040 media and speaking, yapping just things around, speaking even 214 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,600 with my podcast, even with my blog. 215 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,720 My intention as always to share, been to share the information 216 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,520 that I have so that I can grow with everyone else around. 217 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:33,680 And in my diary, I wrote and made posters and posted them out 218 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,440 there and I made a rate card and I said, you know what? 219 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,520 This is what I'm going to do in 2024. 220 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,480 I wasn't really serious about it at first. 221 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,400 It was just me putting it out there into the universe. 222 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:47,280 And not long after I started getting bookings to speak at 223 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:52,360 events and parties and like Bachelorette parties and forums, 224 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:57,000 seminars, meetings, just even schools events. 225 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,920 And it's just I've got an invite into so many, OK, not many a 226 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,160 few, I mean enough within that time that I wasn't expecting 227 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,680 spaces for me to speak and practice and share my talents of 228 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,520 speaking now on a very or on a more professional setup, Not 229 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,640 that the things I don't know professional, but you get, I 230 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:18,400 mean corporate setup, maybe I could call it that than I had 231 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,920 ever expected in my life and getting this invite, should we? 232 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,640 All I needed to do was say and accept this is what I want and 233 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,880 then put it out there into the universe that this is what I 234 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,640 want to do. And then sometimes I would agree 235 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,200 to some of the actually when these invites were coming in, I 236 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,680 was just agreeing. I wasn't really thinking about 237 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,160 it. I kept saying yes, yes, yes. 238 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,800 The good thing is I was already prepared. 239 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,640 I already had a rate card. So I just kept saying yes, yes, 240 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,480 yes. I was getting excited when I'd 241 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,920 get the invites, but when I sit down and I was sober and I was 242 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,640 now having to do the preparation for me speaking in front of 243 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:55,320 audiences, I would panic because Nashanga, Oh my God, when did I 244 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,760 agree to do this? How did I even agree to do this? 245 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,480 Is this really what I I want? Am I ready to put myself out 246 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,480 there where people are looking at me as I speak and they're, 247 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,760 they're judging me, how I look, how I say my words, the things I 248 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,400 say? Do I look anxious? 249 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,200 Was I really ready for this? But there's something a friend, 250 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,520 someone told me. It's actually been so one time 251 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,080 were talking and he told me never say no if there's 252 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,120 something he's learned from for himself is never say no if 253 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,720 you're in a position or in a situation where you're being 254 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,960 offered an opportunity to do better and learn better or 255 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,960 something interesting. Even if you do not like it's not 256 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,840 something that you would typically like. 257 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,640 Even something as simple as even your friends. 258 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,360 Let's say you don't like going out and your friends are like, 259 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:38,880 yo, we haven't seen you in a while. 260 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:43,280 Come out Instead of finding an excuse to say no, think about it 261 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,080 and just say yes. Just go you, you learn the 262 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,160 lessons or you'll fail, or you'll succeed later and then 263 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,600 you'll be able to judge the situation from there rather than 264 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,000 you saying no and never learning, never putting yourself 265 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,120 in active situations which can make you a better person 266 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,360 overall. And that's what I did. 267 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,560 I continued to throw myself out there, but this is not starting 268 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,960 now. I've always been this kind of 269 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,560 person. This advice just put the words 270 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:13,280 like it made me remember vividly like yes, I'm on the right 271 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,640 track. It gave me a bit of reassurance 272 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,840 what I do to prepare before I'm I give a speech or I'm going to 273 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,320 speak somewhere even for TV. I've also said this before here, 274 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,760 the first when I started TV, not when I started TV when I started 275 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,680 the Daybreak show on citizen TV because I started TV way 276 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,520 earlier, but when I started doing the Daybreak show on 277 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:36,760 citizen TV, everyone on the panel was an ex is an expert at 278 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,880 everything that they're doing. They're people who've been 279 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:44,920 speaking for 20 plus years or people who like they're really 280 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,600 experts at what they do. And when I was invited on the 281 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,520 panel, I used to wonder what how am I in this panel? 282 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,560 How did this guys guys choose me? 283 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,200 What did they see in me? What is it? 284 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,240 What is it that made them say this is who we want? 285 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,320 And it scared me a little bit. But after a while, I started to 286 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,520 realize that the reason I was on this panel is because I belong 287 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,920 here. They looked and searched for the 288 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:10,400 people who can be like this or can be better than this or can 289 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,640 be willing to learn and do better. 290 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,800 And they said, Roberta, it's you. 291 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,920 And they picked me. Meaning there's something about 292 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,920 me that makes me shine when it comes to speaking. 293 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,520 And anytime my colleagues would speak, I would think, Oh my God, 294 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,360 this person is so smart. How do they know that? 295 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,960 I was consistently being wowed by these people. 296 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,240 I was in close proximity too. And of course, it was forcing me 297 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,160 to want to level up. It was just making me want to be 298 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,040 like them. It excited me that I was around 299 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,080 people I could learn from, and this is such a good thing. 300 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,760 It forces me to be the kind of person who does my research. 301 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,960 Before I show up for anywhere, I'm going to speak, ask around, 302 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,560 and I learn from my friends. I'm never afraid to ask 303 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,560 questions, to figure out what their thinking process is, to 304 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,080 learn from them. And This is why it's really 305 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,000 important who you're hanging around, the people who you call 306 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,440 your friends. I personally feel like I love 307 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,440 being in rooms where everyone else is smarter than me, better 308 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,160 than me, hotter than me, kinder than me, more respectful than I 309 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,800 am, just way better than me. So that I can copy them, so that 310 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,160 I can learn from them. Because sometimes you think 311 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,079 you're kind and then you meet someone who is really practicing 312 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,880 kindness and it inspires you. OK. 313 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,319 That's what happens for me when I meet someone who's better, 314 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:26,040 like even a dressing, I'll notice. 315 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,359 Oh my God, that fashion sense is so amazing. 316 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,880 How can I, what can I do to elevate mine or, Oh my God, they 317 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,040 speak so well, how can I be like them? 318 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,320 And I love hanging out around people who are better than me 319 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,560 because I'm consistently just looking and scanning and ready 320 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,000 to ask questions. So if I'm around you and I start 321 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,400 asking weird questions, OK, they're not weird, but the 322 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:48,920 questions you probably typically wouldn't be asked, understand 323 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:53,600 that I'm just a student and I'm trying to learn from you, trying 324 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,480 to be like you. And this is in a positive way, 325 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,760 not like in a, in a way that I'm trying to harvest your energy 326 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,360 or, or I envy you or to copy you in a bad way. 327 00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:07,200 It's basically me being inspired and flattered and learning from 328 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,480 you. I love to do that. 329 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,000 And because I'm like this, I also love people to learn from 330 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,040 me. That's why I'm always 331 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,240 forthcoming with information. If I know something that other 332 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,440 people don't know, I'm always willing and ready to share 333 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,560 because I need all of us to shine together. 334 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,280 If it's a nice fragrance, I want all of us to smell good. 335 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,160 There's a time I used to have a friend who when we'd hang out 336 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,200 and I'd use her perfume, those I couldn't, maybe I couldn't 337 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,160 afford perfume or I can't remember, but that's probably 338 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,880 it. And when I'd use her perfume 339 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,160 because I didn't have, she would get so angry and she would say, 340 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,280 you know, don't use the same scent as me. 341 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,000 I don't want us to smell the same. 342 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:46,720 And now when I think back, Mimi, I love for people to smell like 343 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,880 me. I love for people to to even get 344 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,440 an even better combo than me so that we can all share and grow. 345 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,280 That's just how my brain works. So I don't understand some 346 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,120 things I don't know, maybe I'll never understand and maybe be 347 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,000 there's a thing about individuality that also is 348 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,200 amazing. But I just feel like in moments 349 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,840 where I can share and we can all be better and it will benefit 350 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,440 you, then I'd love to I'd love to make you as good as I am or 351 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,920 even better than me. This meant that I had to put 352 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,600 myself also in positions where I was ready to practice. 353 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,440 This is where saying yes comes. Practicing builds your 354 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,920 confidence. Putting yourself in spaces where 355 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,720 you're willing to practice and practice could look like 356 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,280 anything I speak in my house alone. 357 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,920 You can imagine I'm recording this podcast on my own. 358 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:36,680 I'm just yapping into my mic and I'm just here by myself. 359 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,440 Maybe I'm a good I'm really good at monologues, but practicing 360 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,560 even in front of the mirror, recording yourself to listen to 361 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,760 how you sound, it builds your confidence. 362 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,000 A few weeks ago I was at some auditions. 363 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,120 They haven't called me back. I hope they do. 364 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,440 And the camera man there shout out to Mike. 365 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,640 He was really good at helping me calm my nerves. 366 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,800 Mike said to me, you know, you have access to this set, so the 367 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,960 best place to practice is here. Come over, let me know. 368 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,280 I'll arrange for you. Practice with the lights, with 369 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,640 the cameras rolling, with you just being in your element. 370 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,040 Dress up, like show up. It's like it's a real thing. 371 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,680 And come in and practice. I could help you out with that. 372 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,160 And that made me feel really like the universe is 373 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,840 consistently conspiring to make sure that I achieve everything 374 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,760 that I set out to do. I really like that energy and 375 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,560 just try. Do not be afraid to try. 376 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,760 Literally what's the worst that you could do? 377 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,760 Being told no, being ignored, being rejected. 378 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,080 That's part of the process, it's part of life. 379 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,560 Try. The thing is, you get better as 380 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,680 you try and it's scary for anyone, even people who are pros 381 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,280 or people who have been doing it for a while. 382 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,200 I personally thought it would be easy for me, but being on stage 383 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,320 is a very different thing. Being in front of an audience, 384 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,360 even being in front of a camera, when you don't know what to 385 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:54,880 expect, it's not easy. Recently, I was invited to the 386 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,280 Rotary, Rotary Club of Hallengam. 387 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,040 And for that speech, I was completely well prepared. 388 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,200 Like I really took my time and prepared myself. 389 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,560 And this made me more confident. Someone asked me during that, 390 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,600 after my speech, during the Q&A session, how are you so 391 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,720 confident? How do you stay so confident? 392 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,400 And you set farm boundaries and you become the person that you 393 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,080 are. And honestly, my answer is to 394 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,000 just pretend. Be delusional. 395 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,320 Act like you are it that thing for faking it till you make it. 396 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,400 Use it to your advantage. Of course, when you're not 397 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,480 hurting people, if it's something that is going to make 398 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,440 you a better person, just act confident. 399 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,200 There's nothing anyone can tell you. 400 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,640 I mean, you could be encouraged and reassured into teaching 401 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,640 yourself, but until the day, in the deepest of your hearts that 402 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,840 you decide, you know what I'm going to, even if I'm really 403 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,800 scared and afraid of many things, I'm just going to 404 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,000 pretend and show up like that. It really, really works. 405 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,400 Have you guys heard about the law of assumption? 406 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,200 It means you have to become, just do it. 407 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,760 Do it. Start and you learn. 408 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,000 Later. I realized that anytime I was 409 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,160 ever anxious, even in these events, a few events that I've 410 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,280 been invited to throughout the year, anytime I was anxious, 411 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,040 it's because I was ill prepared. It's because I didn't do my 412 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,240 research well. I didn't take it seriously, 413 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,520 especially for the unpaid gigs. I wasn't putting my energy into 414 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,480 it. But I realized it doesn't matter 415 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,600 to other people whether it was a paid gig or it wasn't. 416 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,280 Someone who attends and sees me is going to be able to tell if 417 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,960 I'm a good speaker or not. And that shouldn't be judged 418 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,640 from whether I was paid or not. If I'm a good speaker, I should 419 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,760 be able to show up like that all the time. 420 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:33,960 But you guys don't invite me to things where you don't want to 421 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:38,320 pay me, compensate me unless it's for charity, you know, or 422 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,600 something like that. New and Guinea, just come up 423 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,160 with a budget because I really do put in my effort. 424 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,440 This is not something that comes just easy. 425 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,400 I've gone to school for this stuff and me trying to turn it 426 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,360 into a career. I need your support. 427 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:55,040 I need you to encouraging me by helping me keep my light will 428 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,880 on. So yeah, anytime was anxious and 429 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,480 I read this, this, I read it in a tweet actually. 430 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,800 Like anytime you are anxious, you realize it because it's 431 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,880 because you are ill prepared because when you just take the 432 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:10,280 time and do the work and prepare well, do your research, do your, 433 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,880 you know, take your time, study, you show up really confident. 434 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,080 Even if you don't know much, you're able to stick with the 435 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,320 confidence. OK. 436 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,880 You will probably know much if you do your research and your 437 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,480 study and that's why you end up so confident. 438 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,200 Something else is a big no to drugs before set, you know, no 439 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,680 glass of wine. Come on, Navuta Bangi, what 440 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,200 channel tuna or just show up sober. 441 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,880 Show up as yourself. You, you might think you know, 442 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,080 OK, maybe it's easier for you to use something to calm your 443 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,320 nerves, some chamomile tea or something, but I think it's 444 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,920 better that you teach yourself to show up raw and authentic and 445 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,080 just as yourself. This is something that also will 446 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,840 help you build your confidence when it comes to speaking 447 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,400 because even your audience, when they're giving you feedback, 448 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,600 you'll feel it's genuine. You'll be able to tell, OK, it's 449 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,880 true. I did put in the effort in my 450 00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,440 work. And so if they point out 451 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,880 something, I'll be able to take it on a good note. 452 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,440 I'll be able to feel good about myself even if I feel like I 453 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,160 failed. Just basically know your stuff 454 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,880 as you're studying and researching. 455 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,000 Don't study to cram and to master what to say and to 456 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,400 remember what to say or to regurgitate information. 457 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,320 Personalize it. Become what you're speaking. 458 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,680 Know it by heart so that you can say the same thing anytime, 459 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,720 anywhere, under whatever situation you're in because it 460 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,960 is your truth and it's something you truly believe in. 461 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,560 Speak about the things you're passionate about because that 462 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,440 makes it easier for for you to to to be interested and to want 463 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,960 to talk about it. Remember in the beginning, I 464 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,080 said this all comes from interest. 465 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,720 Me wanting to be a better speaker is something that was 466 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,400 constant in my life. So it's something I always had 467 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,200 interest in and that's why I am the way I am. 468 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,840 And the next one is for you to breathe. 469 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,000 Breathe to pressure. Watch a Raqqa, watch a story mob 470 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,920 pom want to breathe. If you're anxious, just know 471 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,320 it's OK. Everyone gets a little anxious 472 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,480 sometimes, and anxiety is something that is completely 473 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,640 controllable. This is where the practice 474 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,280 comes. The more you do it, the more you 475 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,920 try, the more you put yourself out there, the more you keep 476 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,160 your word to yourself, the more you teach yourself to be 477 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,200 confident. It gets easier as you practice. 478 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,880 Try to also seek honest feedback from your audience. 479 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000 Listen to what people say about how they perceive you and how 480 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,720 they see you. This is completely relative, but 481 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,240 it's good to have your ear on the ground because it helps you 482 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,800 see things even from a viewer's perspective, from your 483 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,000 audience's perspective. And if there's something you 484 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,920 need to, it's going to help you walk on it better. 485 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,760 I mean, it's like it's, it's good. 486 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,560 I think it's good to get reviews and feedback because it helps 487 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,480 you learn and don't get defensive about it if someone 488 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,480 tells you, oh, I didn't like this or you could do better. 489 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,360 There's a time I was speaking at this perfume event and this 490 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:52,160 lady, she was dressed so well. She was looking amazing. 491 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,760 She just raised her hand and got the microphone and she said 492 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,480 straight up in my face. She told me, I wish you were 493 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,560 more confident. Speak up, pick up. 494 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,960 You're you're you're you're not confident. 495 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,440 OK? She didn't say I'm not confident 496 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,440 upon me, OK, My first understanding of the things she 497 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,560 was saying. First of all, my heart sunk 498 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,480 because I was like, Oh my God, she's calling me out in front of 499 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,160 all these people insinuating I'm not confident. 500 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,960 Where's she getting that information from? 501 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,720 Why would she say that to to me in the middle of me speaking? 502 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,040 Is it? What is it? 503 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,400 And I felt I felt so bad, but I was standing in the front while 504 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,040 she's saying this and I felt so bad. 505 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,400 Like my heart sunk into my rectum. 506 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,480 But after all, as I walked to her and she explained to me what 507 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,960 she meant, she said, I don't mean like you're not confident. 508 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,320 I mean keep going at it. Like keep speaking, keep being 509 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,560 confident, keep using your voice. 510 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,080 She was encouraging me. But you see, if I was coming 511 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,640 from a point of being defensive, I would have thought she was 512 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,600 being a hater because even her tone, it sounded like she was 513 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:52,080 telling me I'm not confident. But she was telling me neon 514 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,120 gaze. And to be honest, for that 515 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,160 event, I had not prepared as well as I should have. 516 00:26:57,360 --> 00:26:59,920 Let's just be honest, I had done a few. 517 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,360 I don't know if I can these days. 518 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:04,080 I'm a bit particular, but let me just say I had done a bit of 519 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,360 drugs. So I know it showed up because I 520 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,520 was anxious. I was ill prepared. 521 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,760 I was scared of the audience. I was all these things 522 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,760 happening. Maybe she saw through me. 523 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,880 She saw it. Even when I see myself in the 524 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,440 pictures, my shoulders were shrugging. 525 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,440 I, I, I was just a bit afraid. And it's normal to be anxious. 526 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,920 But you see, how I was feeling was a direct correlation with 527 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,880 how I was showing up. And I don't want to show up 528 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,840 again like that. I don't want to to show up ill 529 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,240 prepared or seeming like I don't know what I'm doing here. 530 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,960 It's not a good look even for me. 531 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,960 I don't want to attach that to the kind of person I am. 532 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:43,960 And I need people who invite me to be trusting of me to 533 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,920 basically to just trust me that I know what I'm doing because I 534 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,680 do. I do, but even pros get anxious 535 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,080 sometimes. The only difference between a 536 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,200 pro and you who still not starting is the confidence to 537 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,760 throw yourself out there without the fear of being judged. 538 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,840 Adjust and grow. It becomes easier and it becomes 539 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,880 second to nature when you put yourself out there. 540 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,440 Also consistently reading, watching stuff, listening, being 541 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,640 teachable. It helps you evolve and speak 542 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,400 when you get the chance to speak. 543 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,600 This is part of the practice. Put yourself in spaces where you 544 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,760 can speak. You can, you know, disagree on 545 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,040 points. And I'm always watching movies. 546 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,880 I realize this adds a lot to my vocabulary. 547 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,440 The same way reading a lot of books, even listening to audio 548 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,320 books. It helps a lot of my vocabulary, 549 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:39,200 my pronunciation, my knowledge of grammar, and it's even making 550 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,960 me want to learn other languages because it's giving me the 551 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,400 confidence that if I can know 2 languages, how about I add the, 552 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,760 because I have so many friends who know 4 languages, 5 553 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,080 languages. Like how about I try to do that 554 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,240 and be as amazing as that. That's something I should write 555 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,440 in my To Do List for this year. I've been saying I want to learn 556 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:03,120 Italian and Spanish and I know a little bit of French, but just 557 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,120 to get better at it. So that's something I should 558 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,560 probably do intentionally. And as I finish. 559 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,240 It's important that you love yourself and you trust yourself. 560 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,800 This will give you a lot more confidence. 561 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,240 The more you get to know yourself, the more you know the 562 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,840 things you enjoy and the more you're able to accept, to do 563 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,480 better and to love yourself even more. 564 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,200 There's so much resources and you could easily reach out even 565 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,800 to your favorite speakers. You could easily go on Instagram 566 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,880 and message someone that you admire, learn from them, ask 567 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,480 them questions. Sometimes we are afraid, 568 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,320 Sometimes we are afraid because you don't know. 569 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,720 Maybe there's no point. But Mimi personally new on the 570 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,960 messages, I always go into my DMS and my emails and I always 571 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,880 check. That's how I knew to do this 572 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,320 episode because someone personally requested me. 573 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,920 And I hope they they get to see it because I did it for them and 574 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,640 for everyone else who is interested. 575 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,840 Research, talk to people who you want to be like, surround 576 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,360 yourself with people who you admire and teach the people 577 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,080 around you as well. You know, I went to really good 578 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,800 schools all my life and I've realized how beneficial it is to 579 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:12,800 me and not just me, but even the people around me because a lot 580 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:16,120 of the things that my mom requires done, let's say if 581 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,840 there's anything, reading and writing of documents, speaking, 582 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:25,160 mobilizing, negotiating, anything that my parents are 583 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:28,360 doing, they entrust me to take care of it because, you know, 584 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,400 Roberta will read and understand, she'll research, 585 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,960 she'll help write, she will speak. 586 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,080 And these are the things I've always wanted to do. 587 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,160 So my mom being able to relax and benefit from me even doing 588 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,040 her documents and, you know, assisting her understand things 589 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,000 better. It's such a good feeling. 590 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,560 And it also elevates the lives of the people around me because 591 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,600 the more opportunities I'm able to get with what I love to do, 592 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,840 the more I'm able to take care of everyone. 593 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,680 I me, so everyone wins when one person wins, and that's why I 594 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,280 want all of us to win. These are some of the things I 595 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,520 do to become an even better speaker. 596 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,640 I do believe I'm a good speaker and I love speaking. 597 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,760 I love talking. I love writing, I love singing, 598 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,840 I love expressing myself, sharing what I'm feeling and 599 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,840 thinking. It's something that comes second 600 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:20,400 nature to me in my life. I hope these tips help. 601 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,400 Maybe if you have others you could share with me in the 602 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,400 comments, tell me what you think about the episode. 603 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:29,760 I'm so excited about this being the first episode of the year. 604 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,720 And yeah, I can't wait to see to hear more from all of you, to 605 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,640 see all the new things we can talk about on the Love and 606 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,360 Orgasms. And please check me out 607 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,240 everywhere else that I am on the dialogues of Jaguar show. 608 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,520 I've got amazing collaborations and interviews coming up on TV 609 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:49,600 as well on my platforms on loveandorgasms.com and here on 610 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,760 the podcast. I'm everywhere on able podcasts 611 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,200 on Spotify, consistently yapping. 612 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,720 Reach out to me. I also offer one-on-one sessions 613 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,280 for intimacy and relationship coaching. 614 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,440 Reach out to me. Let's learn how to be 615 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,000 emotionally intelligent, how to be intimate, how to love 616 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,040 ourselves and how to have good sex. 617 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,920 Thank you so much for listening to me. 618 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:10,960 I'm excited to get your feedback. 619 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,120 Tell me what you think about this episode and I'll hear from 620 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,160 you next time, Toodles.