Hello everyone and welcome to the United States show.
My name is Crystal. This is my partner shine and
together. We are unites co-founders.
We are hosting this lovely event weekly the unite show every
Thursday night at 6:15. So, we're having different
themes, and different speakers every week.
And tonight, we are doing, finding love, and maintaining
Harmony in relationships. Plus, we're going to have a
little singles mingle time at the end with lots of Q&A as
well. So, stay tuned.
That's what you're in for. And we've got three wonderful,
special guests with us today who have some lovely tips and tricks
for not only doing well in your current relationship.
But if you're looking how to attract the person you're
looking for and really create Some solid foundations in your
future relationships. So I'd love to introduce and get
everyone to say a big, hello to our guests.
We have joy. Regina up here, in the top with
her Christmas tree. We've got silver over here, and
Georgia and silver are a wonderful couple, although
they're currently not locationally together as they're
working separately at the moment.
And then we've got dolphin down here who is on the road in
Sacramento. Did he freeze or he's just
sitting really still out. There we go.
Hi doll. Welcome.
We're going to start off with a
really quick. We don't want to get into
backstory yet, but a lovely. Lisa people will know kind of
what they can expect from you guys so I'd love for you to do a
little hello. This is what I offer to the
relationship world. This is why it matters to me and
I'm going to bring you some juicy tips and tricks.
So if you guys could each do one of those for our wonderful
guests and then we're going to get into some fun questions, so
whoever wants to start take it away.
Or we can pick up. Hi I am Georgia morally.
Also notice a medic counselor Georgia and I am the other half
of my beautiful partner in love Life and Legacy Mr. Silver story
over here and we have been on the Journey of relating for the
last four years. Through all the thick and thin.
We are truth-tellers that is our secret sauce.
And so we talked about relationships in a way that is
very authentic and we navigate love from a place of Truth, club
and transparency. We are currently creating a
life. We are having a baby in March at
47 years. Young.
Jung, woo. Way to go us and that's a whole
new chapter of relationship. So I think crystals question of
what we bring, our what I bring to the holds of relating would
be. I bring the dissolving of
patterns in relational patterns and some people call them
triggers activations, traumas. So that's what I bring to the
Abel. Thanks so much of a to be here
tomorrow to see well, thank you. Yes, yeah, it's so beautiful.
I'll follow on from my beloved. And yeah, just just delighted to
be here to share the radical truth of my coexistence, and
co-creation with way for my lover, Georgia, I truly believe
it's, it's been like a arranged marriage, Absorbs by a higher
power than both of us. We were just we're kind of
unlikely couple yet. I feel we look and act
exceptionally together. It's just like this, this
perfect perfect match to I couldn't have possibly chosen
myself and By that. I mean, there's just there's
just layer after layer of depth that George and I are willing to
go to together and that that is one of the keys that will go
jump into in this session today. What I'm what I'm going to offer
as a few. A few curveballs and a few a few
bombs to shake things up as I love to do when I share the
radical truth which I truly believe those are.
Access to our authenticity in the depth of relationship that
we truly desire. Let it yay.
Telling me you go dump it. Cool.
Yeah. So I mean I've been doing work
in the realm of relating and relationship for over 20 years.
It is my life. It's everyone's life, but it
happens to be my life's work and the two primary projects.
I have right now is one is called relation flicks its
education based platform around. And relationships where we
invite Educators and live broadcasting and writers
community in a whole bunch of other resources for people to
level up their love and relational skills.
And then the other one is my personal coaching work, which is
very much about integrating. What is unintegrated in our past
and through that, enabling us to to really come into the full
potential of our relationships. Yeah.
Well, thank you, dolphin beautiful.
Hello. Now, I would love to if any one
of the guests wants to share a quick intro of who they are and
what they're hoping to get out of this call.
And if you have any questions, maybe just wait till we've gone
through everyone and then we can start.
We want to do a lot of Q&A to keep it fresh into it, to make
it really valuable for, for the people on the call.
So if you want to share, you don't have to, yeah.
It just gives us a sense of whether you're single and
looking, Or someone whether you're in a relationship and
looking for ideas or support or just general maintenance.
And then that will give our speakers a little bit of
guidance as well as we're going to ask them some DC questions
too. So yeah.
Would anyone like to say hello? And I haven't brought you here
and happy to jump in and then what brought me here is, I've
always interested to hear and learn more about relationships.
I have great relationships in my life, none.
Of which is a partner so that's the relationship.
I'm still seeking and always open to conversations around
where I can make that connection and see how things happen.
Thank you. Thanks.
Michelle. Anyone else?
Go to jump in? It's okay.
If you don't want to okay, please Teresa and I just
happened to see on dolphins, Facebook feed that this was
happening now. And I just checked like a half
hour ago and so I thought, oh well, that's an awesome timing.
Yeah. And so I am not currently dating
anybody but I'm in a place in my life where I feel like I am
ready to be in like a high quality relationship it just
some Sometimes is difficult to find people, I guess, especially
I'm living in Costa Rica right now but I'm going to be.
Yeah, it's pretty awesome. But I'm going to be leaving soon
to go live somewhere else for a bit.
So I'm kind of a bit nomadic. Yeah.
So I'm in an interesting place in my life, I guess you can say.
Lovely. Thank you for being here.
And thank you for sharing beautiful.
I think Georgia and silver met in Bali.
Maybe. Yeah.
That's right. And Chris and I have a fun fun
story to share about how we met two and we sang that style.
Yeah. What are we talking about
Melanie? Or whoever is behind Space
Village that see you want to share By the way, I'm sorry.
If my name is not showing beautiful, of course, Sean,
Kelly awoke know me. And, you know, I moved to be see
a couple of years ago before I was, you know, living in Ontario
and A few years before that I was in Egypt and, you know, the
life of an entrepreneur you both know it's, it can get tricky to
find the right person. You know, being you know,
time-consuming. Oh yeah, the week just flies
like this and oh, I don't have time for a social life.
So they form definitely looking, you know, for an authentic
relationship and I'm planning to start, you know, traveling more.
Now that I have, you know, things of open up and plump can
travel again without any hassle and it would be a good idea to
escape the winter. Maybe next year and celebrate my
birthday somewhere. Nice and warm.
You know, nice. I'm here to see if we can find
that right person. I'm like madly, thank you for
sharing that. Thank you, welcome.
Good to see him in video form, at least, not just Facebook text
Melanie do with my app. That's why you see like, All of
my zoom meanings are around my app or around grants alone, so I
had to change it to us. The social setting.
Exactly, we'll bring you some social quick, quick plug.
If anyone is looking for Grants and loans for their business,
just connect with Nazar, yes, or an apple community building with
four events and workshops Allison or Melanie.
Do you want to have a quick quick share of what your, why
are you here? And what you're looking for.
Yes, Melanie. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm here because I always like to learn about how to
relate to others. I find that it's not something
that comes easy to me, like, in Friendship acquaintances.
I'm a Solo Traveler. I like that term.
Someone had shared it with me a while back.
I'm like, I like that term. I going to use it.
And yeah, I'm actually quite content.
You know what? Some, my status per se, but I'm
always open to if a man comes in my life, wonderful, but I just
find that. That it's really hard for me to
jibe with other people and for me to have that, it's really
important to have the Friendship thing before to be like, oh, do
I really like them? Um, yeah.
It's just, it's really hard for me to like, drive with someone
and be like, oh, you're super awesome.
Like, yeah, it's just, I don't know if I'll ever get there and
I'm okay with it. So, yeah, it's like to learn
more. I love that you.
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Let's see. Listen, we're just getting a
quick touch on what bringing everyone here if they're in a
relationship where if they're looking for, kind of the next
steps to support them in finding that special person.
So if you just want to share that and then we're going to
carry on, okay, I've been single for a long time and I think I
think the universe is wanted to be need to be that way for a
while. Just to sort of really focus on
me and who who I am and where I'm going.
And so I feel that it's time to open up more and just be be more
connected in in whatever way that looks like through friends
or connections, or different, just different circles.
And and I feel like the The, the partner part will evolve from
that, as long as I'm, I'm on my, my right space and right flow,
and if the universe allows it, I think it's going to just be
great. Yay.
Hello awesome. Thank you everybody so good to
hear from everyone. So, I'll give just a very brief
because I think we know most of you pretty well, but just fine.
And I just celebrated our seven-year anniversary on
Tuesday. So, we met seven years and I
know it's as sign point. It out.
I'm really proud of seven years in a working business, plus
romantic relationship. I feel like that not to belittle
any relationship where you're not working together.
But for me personally, it has added a next level of
accountability and showing up because sometimes even when we
don't like each other, we need to show up for the business.
So it's definitely added a whole nother layer into our
relationship, which I'm very proud.
We're still in love with each other and we come from very
different relationship backgrounds.
I was a serial monogamist shine as my fourth serious partner and
I almost did back-to-back since I was a teenager, so long, term
relationship, long-term relationship, long-term
relationship, and married. And I have two kids with my past
partner. So I, that was kind of my
background coming into our relationship and shined it a
little bit more. Or exploration and checking out
the world in his relationships and less long-term big long
commitment relationships. So, it was interesting for us to
come together and kind of, really marry our two ideas of
relationship and our values and grow through that.
So we're excited to be sharing some of that with you and part
of what really sparked this particular episode of the Night
show Once We host a lot of community events and Gatherings,
and consistently, we seem to have.
We have a couple, lovely couples like we have as our guest
speakers here tonight, but a lot of our community are like some
of you on the call who are really beautiful people but kind
of haven't found that match yet. And so we're constantly getting
side Bart into these conversations about how do you
do it and what do I need to do it?
So yeah, we've definitely. Got a lot of ideas for how to
support our community, and we felt like doing bringing in some
more, lovely experts. If you will, to share some ideas
would be really helpful to our community.
And we have also started a singles, unite singles group.
So, we're really committed to Bringing more love into all of
your lives. So, that's what we're up to
here. You can add anything shine?
No, I'll share it to go. But yeah, if, if any of the
participants here have A burning question or a soft question
anything that you're curious about, whether it's like, how to
find the right person or whatever, if you want to, if you
want to ask that and then different people can share as
are. You have your hand up?
Yeah. So how does this work?
Because this is my first time attending, something like this.
Do we, are you gonna put us in like separate rooms and we have
like, a five minute quick conversation or or should yeah.
Facebook I'm not sure how this works.
So we're going to start for the first little bit where we're
going to pick the brains of our wonderful guest speakers.
I know especially George on Silver.
I think they have to leave at a 7:30 I believe or so.
We want to make sure we use our time with them wisely.
So we're going to start by. If you guys have any burning
questions, how do I deal with this issue?
How do I let go of that? What's your best advice for
this? We're going to do some
round-robin where you're going to.
Raise your hand, ask your question and then they're going
to take turns or all of them will answer.
Preferably not at the same time and then after that, we're going
to go into a bit more social where you guys can chat and
connect and actually start to kind of talk about what your
single experiences with each other and how we can support you
guys in moving through that in a more intimate way.
I don't think there's enough people on here where we need to
go Go in separate groups, separate Branch out rooms.
I think we can just work together and take turns
speaking. So that's my thought.
And yeah, we'd love to start. If you guys don't have any
burning questions, we've definitely got some that I'd
like to bring forward from the community.
So thank you. Yeah.
So if you do have a question, put your hand up either
virtually with the little icon or just wave it around, and we
will call on you. Nothing yet.
Okay, cool. So let's it says, I think
everyone on the call is single and looking looking or open for
a relationship. So why don't we do a round robin
of what the best tools are for sort of getting yourself ready
to attract that relationship. And if Georgia, silver dolphin,
if anyone wants to go go free. Yeah.
What would you say is kind of? I know.
I know a lot of times. It's like you do you?
Your work and I think our community is probably on the
same page with that, but please, yeah, carry on with that.
And what would you say is the best way they can line up for
their next special? Somebody silver.
I think you're going to take it away.
Yeah, I can certainly speak to that and it's such a great topic
because I come across so many so many men and women that are are
single and literally talk themselves out of even dating.
And I find that incredibly sad to be honest.
So really my, my thoughts on this are They talk themselves
out of dating because they're they're looking for the one and
even if they enter into conversation with somebody,
they're automatically going through this thought process in
their head and eliminating them through certain preconceptions
of how it's going to go if they actually go out on a date.
So they talk themselves out dating completely and then end
up, you know, in long periods have been single and and a loan
and then getting comfortable with that.
And I you know, my my challenge to you is to get out there and
have some fun. Go on some dates and just have
some fun with with no preconceptions. and just Yeah
just just have some fun. I mean that's how George and I
met we were not looking for love long-term at all at that time
and and here we are in the most incredible adventure together.
This has been absolutely mind-blowing.
So get out there have some fun date data, few people and you
don't have to have sex with every person that you date.
I really want that to sink in. There's so many levels of
connection, one can have and explore all those levels of
connection. It's not just like friendship
and fucking, it's like everything in between.
There's absolutely everything in between.
So explore that as my night encouragement, to all of you.
Huh. That's really, that's really,
that's really good advice. And I think that's really.
I've seen that a lot exactly what you started off by saying
that, you know, so many people looking, but they actually talk
themselves out of dating because they have all these ideas.
Whether it is you know what you were saying that.
You know I need to find the one I've been recently at some of
our Gatherings, we've been a lot of people come in with.
I'm looking for my next best person.
But all men in North America are assholes and I'm like that might
or you know all women are crazy and I'm looking for a woman, I'm
like, mmm, you know, and I know they're kind of venting and they
know that they need to do a little work with that piece, but
it really is a good place to start is like, what is your,
what is your idea about what dating is is going to bring me
to? If it's I'm doing it to find the
one that's a lot of pressure on every Single date or if you're
doing it kind of trying to find the non-crazy, the only non
crazy woman or non crazy man in North America.
That's a lot of pressure and you're going to be holding that
up that checklist up as you know every time they say anything,
ever go evidence evidence evidence.
So yeah, I'd say that's really really good.
Advice going having fun lower your expectations as much as you
can just to yeah, enjoy each other's company.
How about dolphin and Georgia? What are your thoughts?
I'll go. Yeah.
I mean you mentioned it Crystal for us to like, who we spend
time with when we're long, is is a really important aspect of
what attract someone. So you know I think if there is
a sense in us that but being on our own is not okay, that's a
challenge. In peace.
And then, so there might be some work for us to do there around.
Like I'm good with me and then I move into life and I play and
then I move into life and I date and then I move into life and I
meet people I think that's really, really important.
A couple other things that I think are really important that.
I mean, there's a million but I'll focus on two.
Are you clear what relationship is about for you?
It seems like a funny question but when I work with couples
that are struggling, one of the primary pieces that I Right off
the bat. And a lot of people I work with
haven't really deeply explore. Like, what is your relationship
for? What is it in service to?
What are you really about? What is, what is your
relationship of vehicle for in your life?
And if you don't have a good workout sense of that, you're
kind of going to relationship blind and, and we will often
misuse relationship now. If you don't know those things
and you're just going to meet people and you want to find out,
that's cool. But if You really want a
relationship but you don't yet know, relationships are really
out for you and that there's a mismatch.
So I encourage people that are looking for a real partnership.
You need to be able know within yourself and and able to
articulate to another relationships.
Really mean to you, but they're about what they're in service
to. I think that goes a long way to
being able to have meaningful conversations with people to get
a sense, hey, are we on the same page?
Is this a relationship to pursue?
So, that's a really Powerful piece.
The other one where are the people's I would want to take be
with spending your time? I've actually spoken with lots
of people who are complaining about not finding people who
work and live be in singing. So what we find Not be with us.
Good at jump in for a second dolphin breaking up for everyone
else or is it just me and know-it-all 10 seconds or so we
lost you. Yeah you can maybe take your
camera off because you are breaking up in the camera.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm using starlink which I thought would be sort of latest
addition to all of my eternity issues.
There's not too big. How's my audio right now.
It's a little bit better. The floor.
Yeah, really what? I'm speaking to is do we have a
sense of are the kinds of people we want to be with spent their
time and and take a little bit of time to figure that out.
What kind of communities? They're part of what activities
do they do. If we're in places where the
people we want to be with are not hanging out.
Of course, we're not going to find matches for ourselves.
So so those pieces Are simple, but actually really important,
beautiful. Yeah, that's that makes a lot of
sense. A lot of common sense.
I know a lot of women and they're kind of like, oh yeah,
I'm looking for guys and looking for guys, I can't find anyone.
And then I like all the guys at the clubs and the bars are just
jerks, and I'm like, hmm like how much can you really you
don't get to know someone when it's loud and you're yelling at
each other and if you're actually looking for a
relationship that might not be the best, Best environment to
really get to know someone and to connect.
So yeah, good point, find out where they go.
So so Jade, anything that to the how to find your sweetie
conversation. Then as I see your head, yeah,
yeah. I'll just quickly stuck on both
a couple of things, silver and often said, and you know, first
and foremost, I think the exploration of relationship is
really a beautiful place to start to Silver was sharing.
And if you don't know that in a business, we sometimes, do you
know, value vision mission. Vision Values.
And in order to have a Mission Vision value system for
relating, you need to explore and you need to connect to
others without any pretense of judgment or like slower was
saying any end goal. And really, what you're doing is
you're in that process, you're learning about yourself and your
learning about what your needs and desires are and you want
polarizing, your energy in the direction of One person, you're
you're really being Discerning and practicing this level of
discernment and then I love what dolphin was saying about choose
dates. Like, choose your next
adventure. Like, come on, screw dating apps
right? Carissa your, it's not working
for you. Let's move, you know, choose
your next adventure and and Every part of your life.
Start to infuse that sense of personal Adventure.
Go to the coffee shop, I have a wonderful meditation.
I do with the women, I work with called Who's That Woman and it's
basically just like getting you ready to walk into any
environment and feel the energy of what you desire from Life,
Like Making Love To Life first and foremost.
And that doesn't have to be perfect.
No, you don't have to have like the Eternal perfect self-love
model in order to get into a relationship that you desire and
self-acceptance is a big piece of it.
So like get into life, get into Adventure show up in spaces for
people are like Who's that woman?
Who's that guy, right? And it's about this inner
resonance that you are admitting and the people that you want in
your life will come, they will arrive.
So what's your next adventure? Where are you going?
What are you going to explore? That's me.
I love it. Beautiful Georgia.
So good, that's great. I really like the idea of
thinking about it. A lot of, I think a lot of our
people in our community are in some kind of business, some kind
of entrepreneur, and as entrepreneurs, we often do a lot
of case test stud, like asking our customers.
What do they need? We're finding out, you know, how
does our product work? Do they like, do they like our
service? We're researching surgery.
We're checking things out and I I feel like one of the things
that I think a lot of us miss, a lot of when we're starting out
or looking for a relationship is, we're kind of looking for
that. Like fall in love Sparks energy
moment and forgetting that, you know, we're stepping into
someone else's world. We've got ideas, they've got
ideas and to kind of I love that idea of like looking at it.
Like, you know, it's an adventure.
It's like I'm getting information.
I'm doing reconnaissance, I'm checking stuff.
About how am I showing up in the world?
How are they showing up in the world?
And, and kind of relaxing a little bit of that like fall in
love, and it has to be this idea that maybe you've never even
experienced, or you've only seen it, you know, in a movie or
online and really, yeah, doing some, letting it be like, fun,
and research and exploring. And yeah, yeah, when Crystal and
I met, I had been dating women and not really feeling.
The what I wanted out of a out of a relationship.
And so I just said, you know, I'm attracting women that are
not what I want right now. So I'm just going to stop like I
could just tell that something was off with with by who was who
I was attracting. And and then for Crystal, she
had just gotten out of a relationship and and got dumped,
and she was feeling kind of low and both of us at the same time,
around the same time, sort of And we're going to, we're going
to live our best life. We're going to make ourselves a
10/10. We're going to be as happy as
possible on our own and not date.
And that we both sort of decided note like forget this, we're
done for a minute. We're just going to focus on
ourselves and and that was right around the time.
I met Michelle and I was working working with this lovely, human
William and running events. And it was it was this
entrepreneurial fun excitement and I just got into this flow.
Whoa, and I was just feeling amazing and not dating at all.
And Crystal was just got back from a retreat and was, was in
her Zone and really working on herself.
And I think it was like three days after she said, I'm Anna,
has four days four days after she's like.
Okay, I'm going to take a whole year off.
I was committed to being casual, because I had never done, casual
dating, and I'm like, let's try casual clearly.
I'm missing something. I'm too, I'm, I like threw
everything into all my relationships.
I Like they were my everything in that, made it painful when
they ended and who am I without it?
So I was like, I think I should just do what these other people
do and just be casual and I was very committed to casual and it
lasted for days until I met you times.
I failed that one but I think that the piece where you done
see well. So there are the way that you
hear about like women who get pregnant after they've been told
their infertile right after they adopt, it's like once once the
edge Goes away of whatever you're really, really want this
baby and it's not coming and all your focus is there and then
when you get a baby, you adopt a baby.
It's like all the resistance goes away and then you can get
pregnant. And I feel like there's a part
of that. In this in society, we've built
up this, all this thing. And even when we were sort of
talking about earlier, it's like, you know, getting through,
it's like what? There's nothing wrong.
Like, it's not a bad place to be.
It's fine. It's just, it's part of life,
right? And so I think just
understanding Meaning that it's a for me.
Anyways it's an energetic Dynamic and the way that silver
said that he couldn't have planned and that it was some
sort of it felt like it was some sort of other worldly connection
that brought them together because it was, it's too
perfect. Like there's too many pieces and
it's just crazy. And I feel the same way with me
and Crystal like the overlaps are just crazy.
And and so I think there is a really important energetic.
Piece to it for me of being a vibrational match to the person
that you're wanting to attract. And for us, that meant both of
us getting into that state, on our own, and just feeling really
excited and empowered. And and I think because there's
so much ideas and people have so many bugaboos about love and
relationships. The fact that we were saying no
to it and actively not looking for it, sort of release the
resistance. It's a crystal.
She was like, a casual, and I guess I was in an open enough
place to. Yeah, go ahead.
Well, I think that's the piece I wanted to tack on to that is.
We weren't saying no to relationships because we had any
bad feeling about them and that's a difference.
And I feel like a lot of people are like, well, I can't date
this type of person or that type or in this country or they've
got ideas, which are they're putting walls up and I was
really in. I'm not going to look for a
relationship. Bishop not like I'm not ever
going to have one. Just I'm not going to be seeking
one because that had been my old pattern when I was alone was to
seek a relationship and this was I'm not going to seek one but
what I was really a up was I wanted community and I wanted to
be around people and I wanted to connect with people and I wanted
to collaborate and I wanted to be around other people.
Like dolphin was saying like to put yourself around people that
are like what you want, like what you want to be, like the
kind of people you want to be around.
And I Really realizing a lot of the people I had been around.
Were heavier, they were in a little bit of a struggle.
They were in a bit of a fight and I was like, I really want to
be around people who are like excited about the future and
changing the world and doing good things for the world and
humanity. And I just want to be Juiced up,
being around those people. I don't need to be dating them.
I don't need to be having sex with them.
I just want to be surround myself with these type of
people, and that's why, when I was introduced to shine and then
met him. I'm more a few months later it
was really, he was 100% exactly who I wanted to be around.
He was excited about Humanity. Loved connecting people, there
was always a swarm of amazing people around him.
I'm like great, this is exactly what I'm looking for, in my life
right now. So he was actually a perfect
match for me. Energetically what?
I was putting out and the same for him.
He was looking for collaborators co-creators, people to play with
people to jam with people, to build with.
So the romantic thing was something that wasn't in our
Conscious Forefront, but because it wasn't, there it actually
allowed us to connect and I really believe.
If I had been looking for a relationship, I definitely would
have not chosen shine in that moment because my idea of what I
needed was based on my first relationship was like this.
So I can't have that in my next relationship was like this.
So I've got to cut out this and this because that's where that
came from and on my third relationship super fun but no
future, no plan. Okay, so I Have anyone.
So now my window of what was acceptable for me in a romantic
partner, was quite small and shined, and not fit many of my
boxes. For a very long time, I was
determined, we are casual. He was the best I could do for
casual wear casual. I'm just dating him because he
really didn't match a lot of my boxes and the same.
I had two kids. When we met, I still have two
kids. They haven't gone anywhere and
they were much younger. My You was two and a half, I
think. And I just stopped breastfeeding
in my, I had a five year old toddler and so I came, I was a
package deal. I came with with babies and
shine was really determined to do.
Business was very focused on business.
He had spent a lot of time in his past working with kids and
working with people was with disabilities and special needs
and had put a lot of that energy and he's like I don't want to be
like taking care of kids like that's not on my agenda but We
both kept like, okay, this part feels really good.
Let's just soften the edges around these pieces that he
leaves his socks on the floor. I can't be with him which is a
real thing that I bought a few times and I think.
So I feel like really that we were committed to actually not
being committed to each other helped us move through that
early phase where we write each other off and that's what Joe
silver was talking about, you know, not kind of right?
In people off right away. So yeah, yeah.
So we have children, silver only for another half hour or so so I
want them to if anyone has a specific question for for
Georgia and silver or if they have they just are not
necessarily have your hand raised.
Yeah, mazhar sorry. Yes, I wanted to share
something, you know, to address Carissa's.
She said, something very interesting.
What filters do you use? You know, what kind of filter
should be using when you're, you know, getting to know someone, I
used to have these filters all the time.
When I was younger, I had this list and if she didn't matter,
you know, match my mom, then she's out.
And then what, as I evolved it became more about you.
You know, having matched like goals.
They don't have to be identical but at least, you know, the
foundation of having the life goals and then I realized there
was one thing that was even more important.
After, you know, dating based on, you know, matching life
goals, I found out that none of this matters.
There's only one thing that matters in my opinion and that
is you know that both of us should be open to self growth
and you know, you know, doing the self development work and
All this stuff because if that Foundation doesn't exist, like,
you know, cell growth and self development, then the
relationship will not be able to evolve so whether you take it
from a spiritual level or just from like a human behavior
pattern or psychological level, whatever you want, you know,
label it what matters is being open to that kind of development
because this is how any relationship can grow.
And like you both said you both had lots of boxes, you didn't
fit, you know, with each other and it Don't matter because you
had that organic chemistry and things of old of time.
Because as if we, let go of attachments just like Georgia
said, Georgia said let go of attachment.
When we let go of attachment what you know of certain
expectations, then we really get to discover what this person's
about. You know, like when I think of
how, for example, both Americas were discovered, nobody said oh
I hope America is going to look like that.
You know, they just went on an adventure takes up their boat.
They've got Right. People, the right crew, and they
were just, you know, having that adventure.
Of course, there is also the, entrepreneurial side of how to
navigate a boat and all that, and using maps and everything.
So, there is a mix of, you know, pleasure and Adventure at the
same time, you know, makes to a professionalism at, you know,
this is, I think this is what would describe your
relationship. You will discover the Americas
into ever exactly. That might be a really good if
no one has a specific question, that might be a really Lee good
Next Step that especially Georgia and silver could address
would be once you've kind of maybe met someone that you're
interested in what without getting in our way of starting
to measure them with criteria. How do you kind of make sure
that you're, you know, kind of, I think a lot of people feel
like I don't want to invest too much time if this isn't going to
go somewhere. And so make sure that those
values kind of lineup, do you have some ideas for those?
Those next steps. Yes, I do.
And yeah for everyone. That's single this listening.
I just I just want to stack on what you mentioned Crystal, you
know, George and I didn't take many of each other's boxes
either the beginning and we really, really grew to love each
other and and that was because of a couple of key elements and
and one of those was Truth, radical truth.
We were we were willing to speak Our Truth.
We were willing to ask really, really good questions instead of
having all these unanswered questions in our minds and then
answering them ourselves, without actually asking the
person that were with, you know, it was, I've got this feeling
that this is going on. Is they actually happening or,
you know, where do you want this to go?
How deep do you want this relationship to be?
You know, what, what is going on in your life right now?
Are you seeing any other anybody else?
You know, just just call it out. Whatever is in your mind, be be
brave enough and courageous enough to name it because then
it's not nikoline away at your brain and talking yourself out
of what could be an incredible relationship.
So that's the first tip I would give.
And then the second one is, is willingness, I mean, that's what
George has had in abundance, their willingness to go deeper
and that is a key key element to to the longevity of any any
relationship. And you know, if you're looking
for harmony the only way you're going to find any form of
Harmony and Chappelle is to accept those, not going to be
harmonious. And that reminds me of an
incredible quote from dr. John Muir, demartini and he says
I gave up trying to be happy because it was making me sad.
If we're constantly looking for everything to be perfect,
everything to be like it was in that honeymoon period.
If we're constantly looking to be happy.
And, you know, passionate and sexy group going to be
disappointed because that's not how relationships are.
I mean, Georgia of Georgia. And I have discovered an
incredible depth of intimacy. Even through those periods when
we've not been making love, we've deepened our intimacy.
In so many other ways. So, I don't know if you want to
stack on that honey. Over to you.
Thanks lover. That's best the truth.
But is the radical truth and to stack on what silver saying
around radical truth. And this is a really, really
important one. So often you'll hear things that
don't that might not feel good and might not feel right for you
in that moment. And it's likely that that could
be something to do with something that has occurred in
your life and your past, maybe in the formative years.
At some point, you know, I'll give you an example.
So silver, right out, the gate said to me and I don't want a
relationship now, I was really happy being single and being
who's that woman. I was having a great time.
So I wasn't actually looking for a relationship but to hear a man
say those words activated something inside me that I had
two choices and so when you're in a space of dating, And you're
meeting people and you're connecting and you're practicing
radical truth objectively having a boundary and energetic
boundaries so that when I heard those words I could see them
feel them as His truth and it wasn't a reflection of me.
And so I thanked him for his truth.
And I went on with my life and then he showed up again.
And then he knows that. And what are you looking for?
I was like, well, I'm definitely not looking for a sexual
relationship and it kind of just went on from there.
And so being able to own your own stuff in the middle of some
of these harder truths. As you're getting to know,
someone is really important because if we're constantly
triggered or activated for our nervous system is activated by.
Other person's truth. We aren't going to get to know
them. We are going to get to know
them. If we're automatically
eliminated, silver was like, well, then you don't want a
relationship. See ya?
Just because of the way I received it.
You know, I didn't want a relationship, who can relate to
that, I don't want a relationship that I received
that in a way that was like, oh darling.
If I had allowed that, we're not worked with it in my own nervous
system, we might not be here today. so it's really important
Edge that in, in, in relating Dynamics, especially when you're
getting to know someone, Wow. Thank you.
I love this.
Does anyone have any questions for George and silver while we
have them? They're kind of a big deal.
This is actually just came to mind for me.
So I've had intimate Partners at different stages of my life that
are not relationship Partners their friend.
It's a friend been gypped. Type partnership.
And I've had people say to me, that's stopping you from
actually finding someone. And I don't feel it is because
to me I've separated the two. Any thoughts on that?
Great question. Yeah, Michelle.
What people think watch for rhetoric that isn't your own
personal belief, just push it aside because your sexuality and
where your what are your exploring and your life is
beautiful and it has absolutely no reflection on the the person
you're meant to partner with the being that is to be your
partner. In fact, it only encourages
Bridges that in even more authentic way.
So that's my personal perspective.
You might know I love that because I'll say to that Georgia
for me. What it does is it removes?
The sexual aspect of meeting someone new.
Because a lot of people, that's the thing that's on their mind,
how I wanted somebody to have sex with, when you take that off
the table here, approaching I'm approaching them, the person.
As the person sex has nothing to do with it.
So that's kind of great. That works out real well.
Well then, doesn't it. Yeah, I think, you know, and
this really speaks to choosing your belief system your values.
What's right for you? There is so much information on
the internet like you could just be bombarded with people's
opinions and ideas. So really choosing what feels
right for you is is really key. So I appreciate that share a lot
if anything I think stacking on that Michelle you know.
Sir, all about connection and as I said earlier there's the
connection has a vast vast scale to explore and to play with.
And you know, just before I met Georgia, I was I was really
exploring every aspect of that I could in the wrist there's some
some women that I was with where I would, like, I just walk
around the house. Naked, you know?
Or we didn't and we both do that.
We just have everything hanging out, would be naked and we'd end
up dancing naked in the in the bathroom while we're brushing
her teeth just just giggling like like teenagers.
They were high. And are, you know, having a bath
with with somebody else and just just being really present in the
in the Beauty and the the delight and then Messy of that
without needing to be anything other than that.
It didn't need to go any further.
And that's, that's the beauty of radical honesty as well.
And radical, truth is just being able to be fully present in that
experience. Good.
I love that. I just wanted to add a little
bit of. I love Abraham Hicks.
And what? What they talk about is that
like the universe sort of knows what you want.
And the way that you line up with those synchronicities, that
you couldn't have planned that are just seemed amazing.
Is is just following that little breadcrumb trail of like, does
this feel better his does this feel good?
It is this and not from like a bad place of like a like I need
I need a fix. I'm feeling terrible, I need
something. It's like no I'm just I'm
feeling good in. Ooh, this feels fine with.
That's interesting and whether you might Standard are not like
that's the path towards what you want and so as long as it's real
and I can tell from your face when you ask the question is
like, yeah, it's fun. It's great.
So it's like perfect. That's that's I think that's the
only thing to pay attention to. Yeah.
You're putting yourself in the vibration of what part of what
you want. So just because you're also open
to a relationship that has other components.
I really love attraction doesn't agree that you can't.
It would be the same as saying, like, Don't bother working your
job because then the lot, you can't win the lottery because
you're canceling one without the other.
So I think it really is. I mean, obviously, as long as
you're checking in and it's still feeling super fun and
valuable and useful, more is more is more so yeah.
Yeah, you go girl, munication is key as well exactly.
Anyone else have a question for a Georgian, silver.
They've got 20 more minutes. Alice.
I tend to have a really busy life, busy work and busy family,
and a lot going on, maybe even a little more than that average
person. And I enjoyed meeting people and
I have a good time, but I have a hard time not compartmentalizing
my life into different sections. Us and being a little more open.
And I'd like to learn how to be a little more open that way.
I think I don't know if my question is clear.
Yeah, you could just just sort of, you know, drop into that a
little bit more and share with me a little bit about what you
mean by like to be more open. So what I heard you say was you
have a full life busy life, we tend to compartmentalize.
And so, you would like to create more space for openness or maybe
you could. I think so.
And, and relationships, whatever that looks like, I A family
life, where part of my family doesn't really like socializing
because I'm a mom of two boys and they don't, they don't like
the extra perks. So I find it hard to keep the
balance and although, I'm open and willing and I think I think
in some ways they are too, I find it difficult to put into
place in reality because I have about this much time left in the
week. Yeah.
Yeah, I hear that and often these these domestic quarrels
motherhood. It's a, is a role is a beautiful
role. It's a wonderful role and it
does tend to take precedent over opportunities to connect with
others. And I really hear that and feel
that. And so what you're asking is
like where do I, how do I, how do I do this?
And it might be something as simple as you know, really
acknowledging might be a piece of you.
Needs to check in with self. Like, how much do I give to
myself? How much am I willing to receive
and my boys? I don't know how old they are
but you know, can someone once a week?
Take them. Can I make time?
And why am I not making time? Get curious with yourself.
Can my boys? I don't know how old they are.
Again the 13th they can but they have some they have some stuff.
Yeah, there's some stuff. Yeah.
Like they have like things that they don't want you to go out or
yeah. They have.
They have some stuff right? Yeah, it's okay.
Got it. Okay, so I guess I guess it's
really about giving yourself the gift of that openness.
Hmm. Creating space for yourself
permission to to embark. On that.
And to cut that we mom's we have a codependent tie.
You know, we really do and that ties beautiful as it is.
Sometimes means to be relinquished a little bit to
make space for ourselves and everybody thrives everybody
ultimately thrives when mum has more more space for herself
believe in him so that would be my feedback on that.
Okay, firstly, I just want to acknowledge you Alison because
when you when you came on you you really mentioned that you
consciously took time to to discover who you are and into to
work on your own authenticity. And I think that's a beautiful,
beautiful stepping stone for, you know, transitioning to being
open to meeting somebody being open to love.
Of being open to to receive. And I want to I want to share
this with everybody. That's such a vital part of
being able to meet someone is being open to receive.
So I encourage everyone of you to ask yourselves and I open to
receive And listen and see what's there.
See what's there? Because you may discover that
there. There is something that Society.
Well, it's like holding onto you and, and keeping you closed.
So, am I truly open to receive just asking yourself that
question numerous times and listening without judgment as to
what comes up. And just by listening to the
answers that inevitably appear that can open you up.
That can dissolve that that Shield or that that barrier that
was there. That was there from a previous
experience and just really getting that you are a different
person. Now, to to the person that had
that previous experience. That perhaps made you guarded or
put the shield up right? It's okay to to let that shield
down and be be open to receive. Okay?
There's a there's a really lovely Abraham but I speak in
Abraham. Abraham parables in the lovely
Abraham clip of woman who's talking about their family dog.
And the dad was like, No, no dog.
Like absolutely not and one of the kids is like I don't know
what I really want to talk. I want to take care of it.
One of the kids really wanted to talk and she was kind of
indifferent and and they sort of found this dog that was so
perfect for all of them that they all just fell in love with
it and it and if they would have kind of tried to like make a
collective decision, whatever their ideas about the dog were
at odds but when one of them got Into alignment with the dog and
just focus purely on what they wanted and why they wanted it.
They attracted a dog that matched everyone's desires.
So that came up for me with your boys is like you don't really
have to pay attention to what they're saying from probably a
triggered place you can like ignore that as much as you can
and just and just focus on what you want.
And what Georgia said I love is like when when you really focus
on what you want and fill yourself up, everybody wins
because you're more available to them.
You have more love to Give your filled up.
It's like it's and and they will see that even if they can't
maybe put their head around right now.
Yeah. Yeah.
In truth. I know.
I know it's about me. I know it's my know and I think
one, one final piece on this too.
Especially as a busy person, busy Mom myself.
I know it can feel like I can't even you know carve out the time
for like my bath or workout or like the thing and you.
How can I carve out the time to date or two?
New person into my life and what I try and do when I feel like I
don't have time for something that I want to do.
Is I try and just pre pave. It pre Paving is something
Abraham Hicks talks a lot about or I step it forward, in my
mind. I imagine it moving forward,
even if I can't move forward with it because then
energetically, even if you go on, no date, your children have
don't change their opinion like you have no physical, things are
changing, but you can date in your mind, you can show up.
You can imagine In it, you can do it.
So to see, and so fun, and so exciting.
And, and just that feeling, and everyone's going to feel so
good. And like sign said, like, it's
going at this. The person's going to come in
and they're without attachment getting too attached to how it's
going to look. But everyone's going to feel the
benefit of this. I'm going to fill the.
In fact, I'm going to feel like I have more time in my life not
less time. How is that even Pion?
Even know how that's possible. Like just juicing yourself
lining up yourself and Abraham does this like put a hundred
dollars in your wallet and if you're feeling scarce about
money and when you go shopping instead of like I can't afford
that and I can't afford that be like I could buy that but I'm
not gonna I could buy that but I'm not good at.
So I do that we did that. When we were lining up with this
house, we went shopping for houses and we're like they
weren't even available. We drive down the street.
We like, I like that one. I like that one.
Who would be fun to live? Here, it would be fun to live
here. And so even you're not taking
time out of your regular life. You're not dating but you're
walking down the street and you're like, ooh, that's a nice
one, that's a nice one, go shopping, imagine what it would
be like with them. Imagine what their life could
be. Like imagine what it can like
you're stepping instead of going, I don't have he's
beautiful. I don't have time to date him.
He's love with but I couldn't date him.
My kids would he like that's if that's the message try?
Like I could not gonna today. I'm gonna talk to that's okay.
But I could and stepping it forward and then when the guy
does Is show up. You're going to be so much
further. Along your path of it, being
fun, and easy and exciting because you've done that work
already. Yay.
And before we run out of sorry I'm just gonna, yeah, I was just
going to quickly add. If you don't mind to that for
Allison, for what I do with clients who are really busy is
start to book some time in your calendar for you, and start like
two hours, start with a movie night, then go to a day.
And then you can go to, like a It's sort of like date night
date. Time with yourself, looking it
in your calendar and keeping and doing something for you in that
time. Because then when you have
someone you want to date, you will have time in your calendar
and that's but it's Gotta make it and keep it and not moving
and not like no, no, I won't do that.
Make sure it's time for you. Nice, good one.
I want to make sure before we lose Georgia and summer.
We're not losing them. They just have given us this
much of their time. Time.
And then they've got other people that need them in their
lives. I'd really love for you to
share. I actually don't know because
we've had other conversations but is there are you guys doing
workshops right now? Are you doing couples coaching?
How can? Because everybody who's tuned
in, I'm sure it's going to be like, these guys are amazing.
I want more Georgian silver and we are not going to host them
every week. So you're going to have to find
other ways to connect with them. So what are do you have
workshops coming up? Do you have events?
What are ways? That people can connect with you
and get more of the Georgian silver love and you guys do
stuff together and separate and yeah.
Take it away. Thanks Crystal.
Thank you, Crystal. And yes, of course, we actually
took a bit of a Hiatus from our business together in order to
follow our own internal desires around what we wanted to bring
forth in the world for this last year.
I'd say that that's an highly recommended relational tool is
to follow the path of Independence.
In your in sovereignty within your relationship.
So I am currently working globally with women.
I am a somatic, therapeutic counselor.
So a lot of the work I do is about injured integrating
intergenerational trauma, formative years, trauma, and
really creating a more peaceful easeful authentic and
pleasurable, life for women. And we also work together doing
couples mentorship. We do have an Week program.
So we work with couples to mostly with couples who are
deeply triggered an activated in their relating experience of
each other. As we as we all know, we come
together often and we mirror these great, wonderful things,
these wonderful things, these we mirror, these mirror, these
nervous system responses. And so we really support couples
to come through those. And we can be Reached through
Facebook and all capacities, as silver honey.
Do you want to share a little bit about what you're up to
these days? So uniting all the good in the
world, Thank you, lover. Yes, I'm really focused on
creating strategic Partnerships to unite all the good in the
world. I have taken a short break from,
from coaching, from our love life, Legacy program, that
George and I were running together.
However, we are still taking on the, the old client, if it's a
good fit. So, feel free to reach us.
Reach out to us about that. I'm also Also cooking up an
exceptional men's program as well for for all the men who
feel like they have a higher purpose within them to help them
find that that mission, that's bigger than themselves.
So that's that's really what I'm focusing on at the moment and I
know you wanted some tools as well.
So Georgia Georgia mentioned one of them which is Is
Independence. Really focusing on on your
individual aspirations and not getting to two entangled in
those together, having having different interests and I'm
living five days. Apart, from, from Georgia, the
moment, which has been has been wonderful and fruitful as as far
as giving us some some space to just breathe and Really come
back home to to who we are as individuals.
So that you know, when it does come to the weekend, we're
absolutely yearning to be together.
So that's that's also also a good, a good tip.
And one thing that's really, really supported us because
we're, we're a power. Couple were very powerful
leaders in our oh and right, where we're both creators.
Were both for our goals were very, very, very similar.
We have, we have strong traits. And one thing that's really
supported at us as a couple is to take turns in leading and
George has been a big advocate of this.
She really LED this and encourage this into a
relationship and I have to admit.
It's it's, it's only recently that I have Really been able to
really 100% let George and lead on certain things.
I realized that I had this this element of needing to to watch
over or control how how everything was done.
And I just recently relinquished that, you know, when Georgia
was, was letting out our basement suite, for example,
it's like, I don't, I don't need to be involved in this at all.
You know, why, why am I micromanaging and just being
able to do that in a relationship and read in
different sectors of of life is incredibly powerful.
Why do we call it leading and leaning?
So it's very consciously chosen, you know, you can feel the
energetic, swing a pendulum swings.
Okay, I'm going to lean, okay, I'm going to lead, okay, I'm
going to leave. Okay, you lead.
So it's it's it's a real, really beautiful pendulum, the way it's
things naturally, quite naturally.
But also consciously, It prevents a lot of Confrontation
as well. A lot of a lot of arguments, a
lot of discourse. You guys are so inspiring.
I love it. I want to be George and silver
when I sleep. Internet, Michelle jump in with
the question related to that meeting and leading.
So when one is leading, do you confer with the other at all or
do you just let them? I think so.
I am very Alpha and so being more Omega is somewhere I really
enjoy. And when I was living abroad in
Bali, I was way more in that Omega space.
It's an energy. The energy is so different and I
I find this role of motherhood and poem making and running a
business and motherhood's very, very Alpha by the way.
It's it's not it's not a particularly Omega rule, so
you're you're in this. So being in Canada being in the
western life, I'm much more activated in that awful role.
And so, in my interrelating dynamic, I watch for that hyper
aroused State and I just tone it and dial it back because I can
relax like it's nice for me to be able to relax.
I'm sick and tired of running the show and so it's been about
safety creating safety where he I trust him to take the helm who
swings are still working on it. I mean it's a work in progress
Michelle, but it's it is it is, it is Is a constant
conversation. And then there are some days
where it's very effortless. Like it seems very obvious he's
going to do all the elephant and I'm going to do the Omega e and
vice versa or vice versa. Yeah.
You know sometimes with renting the basement Street for example
you just need like a five-minute had our conversation.
What are we achieving here? What are the numbers were
working with? Okay great let's go and five
minute. I don't conversations are one of
the Biggest relationship techniques.
You can also give you don't need to have these long drawn-out.
Blabbity blah has just made a 5-minute, idle conversation,
great, even set the timer on your phone.
Love it. It's like it's like detail
factual. We do need the feeling in the
history right now. This is not space holding.
This is like I love it and I think we're going to take that
one on. Yeah it's great or you just kind
of get into to all the stuff and it's just it gets it gets a bit
dull and you get a bit into this these very domestic roles which
are really boring like that. You want to, you want to take
the fun out of your life. They're managing a household
cleaning toilets together. I hold all these young people
who are like I can't quit this move in together in my quiet.
You can see. In toilets together another day.
Like exact you can do it on vacation when it's fun for you,
it doesn't. Yeah, that's the rush.
I would love to hear you speak. Come on and see ya.
Share a moment dolphin before we lose well and and Jordan silver.
You can tune in and watch the replay and catch because we're
hopefully getting a few more minutes of dolphin as well here,
but we do want to honor your time.
So if you need to pop off, thank you.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
I really enjoyed being here with you today and yeah, thank you.
Thank you, shine. Thank you Crystal.
Thank you to everyone. Thank you.
Yeah, thank you. Thank you both so much and thank
you to everyone. That's that's shown up today.
It's a while since George and I have done a podcast together and
it's really really got those juices flowing and really a
great affirmation to to the work that we're constantly committed.
To in supporting others as well as deepening our own
relationship. So this evening has been an
affirmation of that. So I really encourage you all to
to live fully and love fully. Beautiful.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
Dolphin. Were you going to chime in here
and share your? I know we didn't kind of get to
go back and forth with you but please feel free to take a
little you can address all the points or just your general
overview as well because yeah, I know you have so much value to
offer and I love your perspective on relationships as
well. Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to
hang out and wait for it for a few minutes.
I've enjoyed listening. I mean, just lots of Beauty in
what's being shared. And I just appreciate when other
people have really done the Deep Dives and worked with pieces and
work with people and bring back the insights of how relating
really works. So mostly I've just been
enjoying, I've been working on my router situation but also
obviously very much in the call. I don't know how fast.
I'm just much better by the way. So here we are, you know I don't
know that I have anything particular to add you know that
the people in the room that are looking for love, I think one
thing that I like to include which is just the
practicalities, you know, we all bring in things that were
attracted to. And and so I think that's worth
exploring within ourselves. Like what am I attracted to some
of what we're attracted to is innate?
Some of what were attracted to is like, really good and
representative of what will draw us towards a good partner and
it's good for us to recognize that in this modern human
culture. Some of what we've grown to be
attracted to is actually not good and so you know, for us to
to do some some deep investigation and some listening
and some learning about how I would describe it as integrated
attraction, if my attraction is integrated.
It means the things that I'm drawn to you are naturally
aligned and good for me and an inviting of my full potential
and the relationships, full potential.
The last integrated, my attraction is the more I'm going
to have old unresolved relational pieces that are kind
of informing who, and what, and where I'm attracted to.
And so that piece around understanding that aspect of
ourselves and how we are drawn to relationship and then also
including how others are drawn to us so that people might be
attracted to us and that Be coming from a really good
healthy place, but they also might be carrying their own
unintegrated attractions and and I like this lens because it's a
little bit like playing in the sandbox.
You know, we all have a Sandbox. We're walking by checking each
other out and sandboxes look good, or not good to us.
And, and that's worth including in the whole process of meeting.
One another, getting a sense of how we relate of what we're
looking for, of what we want to create together, and And as we
go, I loved what was said earlier, which is so simple.
But so obvious is like, if the way that we're operating allows
us to more and more know ourselves to more and more know
what we love and what we want. And what we value then that's
going to be a way in which we live.
That overtime relationships will naturally get better and better.
Our discernment about compatibility and Alignment will
naturally get better and better over time.
So any idea we have of like getting Ting it, right?
Or finding the one I think it's worth throwing that out the
window and and get good at play, get good at Discovery, get good
at listening, get good at asking questions.
And, and most of all, and I think this is where Georgia
silver and I really lineup is like get good at speaking.
The truth and hearing the truth because in that we have
something really trustworthy to build our relationships on Oh
good, thank you for sharing. Well said, yeah, I love it.
I'm glad we stayed. Yeah.
Well, thank you for creating a Vortex.
The three of you and the two of us.
So the five of us creating a Vortex, I feel like a
possibility too because of course you have lovely tips and
tricks but you know, we didn't touch on this.
But dolphin is also in a wonderful relationship with his
sweetheart and he has an awesome little baby anymore.
They stay with us a little bit. I missed been like what two
years ago when he was a baby. And now he's not any more, I'm
sure. Yeah.
So dolphin is also an in a wonderful supportive, committed
relationship, and I feel like sometimes, even one of the
deterrence for dating can be like, is it even possible?
Doesn't even exist. I've just had crappy
relationships. My parents had a crappy
relationship. Everyone I know is in a crappy
relationship and I feel like what we've created Which is
really fun as a little Vortex of possibility and that all of us
were not in these relationships. Not, we haven't been in these
relationships for 100 years. It's been different amounts of
time, but it's not even been most of our adult life in these
current relationships. And that it really is a
possibility to to find your person to line up to connect.
And there is some things you can do in between until you get
there. But yeah, it's a lot of just
just kind of believing, putting yourself around people that are
doing it. That are happy that are in
relationship that have good values around it.
And checking not only because we're feeding ourselves our own
information. But checking, you know, what are
you exposing yourself to are? You exposing yourself to a lot
of TV shows? And a lot of heartbreak, and a
lot of people that have a lot of challenges because if that's not
the reality want and relationship, then put yourself
around awesome people who are doing what you're hoping to.
Kind of aspire to be. So thanks, guys.
I feel like we did that tonight. We who?
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Thank you so much fun. Thank you all and see you next
time. Yeah, yeah.
I'm against all the best. I so good.
It's funny. The the idea of like a
relationship, being this thing that you're moving towards.
Oh, hello Deon. Anna, welcome.
Hey, hi. We're just we're just friends.
Listening from 11 to 2 of the speakers just left him and we're
all just jamming a little bit. And there's this idea of like
relationships being this thing that you're moving towards and
it's this big goal in this dream and this thing and to me, it's
kind of like starting a business where it feels really fun and
sexy to think about it. But actually doing it, it's like
it's a thing and especially And depending depends on the
relationship. I think there can be really easy
ones and and more challenging by enough for me, a lot of of this
relationship and having a business together has been like,
okay, like here's here's your shit about this.
Here's your shit about this. Like here's what's not Heroes,
what you haven't killed about this.
Like, it's just hard a lot and it's intense and it's like in
your face and and crazy. And so it's not like, it
definitely is not like, oh, like this is easy and fun.
Only like it's lovely and amazing and worth it and it's a
lot like it's been challenging and work and but but fun in the
way that starting a business is because it feels like we're
building something. It feels like I'm growing and
getting better and and I can see the progression and and we've
really evolved and move through different phases and so it's
it's it's fun but yeah, definitely II don't have any
Negative things about like just being being playful or being
single or whatever because it's like it's that any any anywhere
on the Spectrum or my we're all in relationships with with you
know, the world and with each other, no matter what.
But any spectrum of of like, intimate relationships or
friendships relationships, I think are so valuable.
And at, and it's so okay, wherever you are on that
Spectrum. Like, it does, it doesn't have
to be a full on thing. Right here, you're living
together. I'm doing the whole thing
because cleaning each other's toilet.
Yeah, it's, it's because it is, it's like, it feels like it's
starting a business. It's a, it's a project.
And one of the things that's been really interesting with
Crystal, and I, that the my relationship before Crystal, and
I've heard a few people talk about this, where, like there's,
they have three main relationships.
The first one is the first love. It's this big thing.
The second one is a mirror. That's like your exact.
Like you, like you're dating yourself and it, Example this
stuff and it's super intense and it's very fiery and passionate
but also kind of just functional and you both really like the
same thing. So it's like as a partnership
that can be challenging because neither of you really want to do
the things. The other one doesn't want to do
because you're very similar and then there's this and then the
third relationship where you meet someone who's a really good
match and who sort of fills out just like a business partner
would wear. Like you're really good at
operations, they're really good at marketing and sales.
I'm like okay you can actually have a business together because
you You have like harmonious skill sets and I feel like
that's me and Crystal to it to you.
Like we really are a good fit and we like the stuff that the
other person doesn't like in the like living of life in the
decisions and finances. A lot of it.
Yeah, we have preferred that the ones that we really, neither
must like, actually those are the ones we hire out.
Yeah. And that's really important for
we ask for support from the community or someone to help us
out with because it's not worth forcing each other into it.
So yeah, one thing I was going to top on that and oh my
goodness isn't gone. Yeah, that's okay.
Okay, I want to own a welcome Kai.
So we haven't acknowledged to hello Kaiser and Indiana cases,
Crystal's mom. And she must be a master of
relationships. Now, she's been.
She's been doing it from. She had six kids, and she's got
a beautiful husband, and Deanna welcome.
Do you want to share both of you just a quick intro and who you
are and what's your relationship to relationships?
We can't hear you Deanna. Okay, yeah.
Sorry. I know, it's so funny because
Facebook, I was just on there and it was like, this is like
starting and I was like, oh, it's happening now.
So I just click. So, super cool to be here.
Yeah, so I actually help people get into relationships and I
call myself a radiant love coach and that is because it really
comes from Honoring our Divine Essence and who we are.
And so, I love what you were saying around.
You know, we get triggered in all these beautiful different
ways because it's an opportunity for us for our soul to evolve
and to learn the lessons that we need.
And I think you're lucky if you just have those three
relationships and then you get into like the perfect one.
Wow, I was like, oh man. No I definitely didn't just do
that in three. Like it took me a few more than
that but yeah, I mean And you know just committing to doing
the work, becoming the best version of yourself.
You know, I literally manifested my dream partner.
God literally I had to like calm down.
Stop distracting myself like get present and was like, literally
guided to Vancouver and spirit was like that's where your
partner's going to be. And I had done, they say, you
know, that expression when preparation meets opportunity,
like I had done all the preparation.
I was so clear in what I wanted, I noticed in here because it
talked about Abraham Some like aligning to like what you really
want. Like I made a vision board with
all the Google images that I found like specifically for like
everything that I wanted. I had this long exhaustive list
for a partner, like I did my work and then Spirit, literally
put me down, put me next door to my now husband and 40 days from
the day that I moved into that apartment.
I met my husband on a Friday afternoon because I said, Hey to
a Hot guy and literally like, 30 minutes later, we were on our
first date and an hour and a half.
After that, we had our first kiss and then we were never
apart from that. So I love what you guys are
talking about about really just like a lining to like the Law of
Attraction and using everything in your life, as a learning
opportunity to really become your best self.
And then when you meet your partner, then they're going to
trigger you an all new ways that you did.
Even just talking to my, I just got off the face time with my
husband because we're in separate countries right now.
But he, you know, I was like, did not want to take personal
responsibility for things like, I just wanted to like, you know,
skate away from it. And he was the one that like
really held me up to it and like, made me, you know, had me
deal with the things that I had been avoiding my entire life.
And so, I just love what you guys are saying is that, like,
you know, continuing to be in relationships, we all have
special relationships, like, we're all here to help each.
Other and to teach each other things.
So so yeah. That's a little bit about me.
Thank you for sharing. That's a great story.
Yeah, that's that's really good. You were missed the beginning
but where there was a couple questions about, you know, if
I'm busy and how do I make time for dating and that such a good.
Reminder, if you've done the and we were talking about doing the
pre Paving and doing the lining up work and you've kind of done
those pieces and then I had a teacher who said he was really a
More shy and socially awkward, but part of his job being a
coach and being a trainer was to meet people and connect.
So every time he had an event to go to, he would say maybe I'll
meet my next best friend there, you never know, and just like
this fun and excitement, and it's such a good reminder to
that, you know, you can be walking down the street and meet
your next partner. You don't have to go on a dating
site and a nap and have a whole formal thing about it, if
especially more easily, if you've done the lining up, I
work in that piece is really? Yeah, really valuable.
So thank you for reiterating that.
I say two more things on that to actually just because it's so
one is really like what you just said is like approaching
everyone as just like a new relationship.
So you take the pressure off of any relationships like oh this
is going to be my husband. Oh wait, but he's not
six-foot-two. So he can't be my husband.
It's like all this like these expectations around ourselves.
Yeah, and this Shoot. Now I'm at I've just lost for
what the second one was that you've you inspired me about but
yeah I just think that you know letting that down and just
having fun with it like releasing that thing in not
knowing when it's going to happen.
But like really surrendering I think that's the other thing is
like the big shift that happened to me was surrendering my
timeline and realizing that I was on God's timeline and like
if it's either. Yes.
No, or not right now, trusting the not right now and something
better is going to come up and like that's like what I have to
like. Like really, really help.
People like remember is just surrendering that something more
magical than you could have. Expected is coming full.
Yeah, this is good. Thank you.
That reminded me of the piece that I wanted to jump in with.
I was recently having a good conversation with somebody.
I know who quite well, who's in a long-term polyamorous
relationship. He's been in Nepal.
A relationship for quite a while.
And he feels like he's, you kind of an expert now or at least
very well-seasoned. And I was kind of digging in and
asking him a couple of questions.
That's not something I have experience with.
So I was curious and he was really saying, of course, the
number one thing that Georgia and silver who were on before
and dolphin have really talked about is communication
communication, communication and honesty, honesty honesty, and he
was saying how most of the people he's engaged within the
polyamorous world. Do a really good job of being
very clear with boundaries, very clear with communication because
they're kind of coming into the relationship.
Knowing that there can be lots of hurt feelings.
There can be lots of triggers. This is a bit of a more
complicated situation. There's more people involved,
there's more feelings involved. So he said, when it works really
well, there's very clear boundaries.
Who does what where, when why how with Like it's a very clear
almost. I was saying, it sounds like a
business that sounds like when you're getting involved with a
business partner and you saying these are your roles, these are
my expectations of you. These are my expectations of
myself, showing up. He said it was very, very, the
successful ones in the best ones are when they're, they're just
so honest and so clear with each other and I was joking, but I'm
not really joking and saying he should host a workshop on
polyamorous philosophies for the Monogamous relationship because
I think it would be so valuable and I we started off a little
bit with this at the beginning of our conversation here
tonight, talking about how a lot of there's a lot of baggage that
we bring into the idea of dating and relationships.
A lot of romantic fantasy, sexy porn, whatever the bits are,
that you've built, your ideal relationship on.
And a lot of that is not necessarily much of a reality
often. And that you come in with that,
like, oh, if I don't feel this or it doesn't right away, then
I'm going to write this off and I feel like if we more, if those
who are looking for a monogamous relationship, approached, it
much more. Like, these are the things, this
is the way I want to show up in a relationship.
This is what I'm hoping to you know how I want to be involved,
how I don't want to be involved like what this person was saying
he experienced in these polyamorous relationships.
I feel like we would do a lot better as a society.
In dating, if there was a lot more of that, almost not
calculated in a cold way, but kind of thoughtful way of
entering a relationship instead of getting swept away or swept
off in our own minds of what we're expecting the relationship
to be. So I feel like that's something.
I'd love to explore one day, maybe in the future, is to have
someone give a talk from that perspective, because I think
that would be really valuable. And for a lot of us who are
entrepreneurs and In the wellness world, a lot of people
in our community who will be listening in.
It's a good reminder. You know, you don't jump into a
business relationship with no conversations about what you see
it turning out. What's the end goal for the
business? How do we want to work together
and have a lot of, those kind of what people would call like hard
conversations, but you make sure that you know, those are in
place so that you can actually, you know, relate and connect
together. So that was an interesting.
I thought I had and I'd love to actually, I would be curious if
dolphin if you have any thing to add into that, too.
With your, I know what's relation flicks for anyone who's
just tuning in, Dolphin has a wonderful company project,
passion and relation flick, real lost.
The relation flicks in sharing this kind of information with
the community so I'd love to hear kind of your Two cents on
on. Yeah.
Having more of that clear. Communication like you would in
a polyamorous relationship in a monogamous one.
Be beneficial for people. Yeah, beautiful.
Yeah, I mean, what comes to me is that in a monogamous
relationship, it becomes quite easy, because there's a
Simplicity to it. You and another, even though
it's very complex, we can start to get Overly simplified around,
what's required for this relationship to continue.
Really, just two. People have to choose to be
there and if we're not doing things, well, we can still stay
together. When you start to add more and
more people. It becomes increasingly clear
that the relationships and the kind of network of relationships
are only as strong as their weakest link.
So as you invite more people into the equation, there's more
complexity, there's more stress and pressure On the people that
are holding all of the connections.
And, and it's, you know, I always talked about when you add
a person to an intimate Dynamic, three people.
Instead of two people is not like plus 1, it's exponentially
more to hold its exponentially more to take care of.
There's, there's way more required around.
Making sure that needs are met, making sure that Clarity is
there in what's agreed to. And so, I think what we can Can
take from people who have found a way to be effective in their
in their polyamorous relationships.
Is that in some ways. Many people have become quite
complacent and lazy in their monogamous relationship and
then, I don't mean that in a mean way or to wag a finger, but
just to say it's a little bit, like growing a garden, you know,
most of us want, all of the fruit and vegetables of the
garden, but we don't necessarily want to dig in the dirt and
That's not how Gardens work. If you know you can go to the
store and buy something that's sort of like the fast-food
approach to to dating or relationship.
You can just get someone else to do the work and then you can go
and get the fruit. But something happens when we
know how to grow food on our own.
There's something intrinsically meaningful to us about the fact
that the food that we're putting in our bodies, the food that we
created. And so, for those of us that
care about that, kind of authenticity that the care about
The, the origins of the fruit that we eat, it becomes
incumbent on us, to learn, to grow, and to be able to have
that, that level of communication.
So, you know, in a few words, I agree with you, Crystal and the
application, and implication of that level of communication is,
is not easy. There are simple principles that
really supported and being effective, but the application
requires more maturity, more responsibility, more willingness
to hold our own peace. Cesare own emotions as they
arise and more of a willingness to speak utter piercing.
Truth in the interest of more authenticity versus the interest
of comfort or getting immediate needs met.
So, you know, I think when we look at what effective
communication is it's, it's what what kind of communication
provides the deepest, most meaningful relationships over
the longest time span. And, and I lay that out as a
kind of Target that we can start to shoot for around is my
communication about meeting an immediate need, which is, you
know, that's fine. But if meeting the immediate
need is disconnected from what nourishes, the individuals in
the relationship long term, what you have there is unsustainable
relationships. So good.
Thank you. I love that analogy of the
garden. I think that's a really good.
A good thing to keep in mind as well.
Is there anything that anyone would like to share questions,
answers ideas, open open for, for whatever?
Yeah. We'd love to if you have more
questions, kind of on dating relationships in general and
then I feel like because we did say that we wanted We did want
to move into having a little singles mixer time.
And I think what we want to really use that time for is to
hear from you guys as to how we can support you in creating some
fun singles events, how we can support you in meeting those
people that you're looking for. So we definitely want to make
sure that we have time to hear from you guys about that as
well. So yeah, you can also share what
you're looking for. As soon as maybe your, your next
sweetie is This on YouTube. Exactly, yeah, don't have any
step on up. Thanks.
I know earlier. Dolphin had mentioned something
about integrated attraction. I just wanted to know if there
could be maybe an example of because that's a new term to me.
So I'm just wondering if there's maybe an example for that.
Oh, good question. Yeah, I'll give you an example
from my work history. I used to work with an agency
called safe team, and the woman who founded it, this amazing
woman. Man named Anita Roberts and she
had a really challenging childhood.
There was a lot of kind of abuse of power and control.
There was there was physical abuse or sexual abuse and she
managed to Parlay that into some really powerful empowering work
for teenagers. So she created work that
supported young people and being more, clear, more self-aware,
more empowered than she would tell this story when she was
doing the work. She would say that because power
Actuality. We're kind of wrapped together
with abuse for her when she was little, she had a very strong
attraction to men that were essentially dangerous.
So she would feel aroused when a man who was not, not necessarily
mature able to hold his own emotion.
Often men who had issues with anger, these were men that she
found very attractive. This is an example of what I
would describe as unintegrated attraction.
So these are aspects Of how her attraction system developed an
early life. And that the attraction, of
course, snub the parental figures, our survival to a
developing child, our ability to relate and connect with them
from an evolutionary perspective, is what allows us
to survive. And then we naturally become
attractive to those figures in the way in which they raised us
for better or worse. Now, an integrated attraction
system, I mean that in spite of that being the history that
enough integration and healing has taken place where the
attraction is no longer rooted in things that match or mirror
the dysfunctional dynamics that were there in her childhood.
So that instead of being attracted to these men that were
sort of dark and and aggressive and not able to manage their own
emotion, the attraction system would would over time develop in
a way where she would see a man who was able all to be present,
who was curious, who was playful, who know who knew, how
to handle, and hold his own emotions, who was responsive to
the needs of others and an integrated attraction system,
would be attracted to those things.
Because those are the things that allow relationships to to
thrive over time. So I hope that kind of makes
sense. It's a term that I've coined and
it just makes sense to me in terms of how an integrated or an
integrated nervous system will relate to being attractive
attracted to other individuals based on the kind of Attraction
template that we got from drawing up.
Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you.
So would it be a good idea to maybe figure out what was the
unintegrated qualities of our past or patterns or beliefs or
just maybe kind of mentally or physically?
Write down a list of like oh this is what I desire for my
integrated attraction to occur. Yeah.
So both of those are helpful and what I would what I would say
about. But the journey is your life,
will tell you what's on integrated.
So we can dig and we can go back in time and we can reach into
memories and that's all good. And can be very potent in terms
of having transformation. But the reality is, is that we
are so intelligent that we will naturally intuitively
unconsciously recreate. The very dynamics that are not
yet integrated in us in our adult relationships.
So you don't have to go very far now.
Now, if you're you Being single for a long time.
So it's also possible that that we create a dynamic within
ourselves where we create so many barriers to intimacy and
relationship so that we don't have to really show up and face
those pieces. And so that might be a part of
your journey is looking at how and where you make it
impossible. I use that word kind of
colloquially, but you make it very challenging for you to find
someone and or for someone to find you and To really explore
relationship. Like you the way you stated it
in my in my memory of the call is it's like you just have
trouble finding people you're attracted to and you find that
the people that kind of show up in your life, you know there's
just not this spark and so you know exploring why that is and
is it possible that there's there's enough value and
exploring relationship that don't necessarily match your
picture of what needs to be there but but there's enough
presence there's Willingness there's enough curiosity where
you're both going to learn and grow through the experience of
being in relationship. And I think that doesn't have to
be just Intimacy in terms of friendship, in terms of all the
ways in which we can connect. Again, I have so much trust in
our unconscious ability to recreate the very things that we
need. So that we can heal and put our
past to rest, but conscious awareness presence and a
willingness to feel everything that arises in that is required
for that to really be be fruitful for us.
Wow. Well, said dolphin, very
interesting. Yeah, to to add in on to that.
I think that's, that's what I was kind of touching on a little
bit at the beginning, that a lot of my relationships early on
were, oh, I can't be with someone like this because I was
and it didn't work. So I've got a swing.
It was this pendulum swing from trigger to trigger.
So they were like this. So I have to be with someone
like this and then they were like this.
So I have to be with someone like this.
So, like dolphins said, I made it almost impossible for myself
because the window of eligible available people Lived where I
lived was very small and that met all my criteria.
And I think that's that's a piece to kind of check out.
And like dolphin was saying, you don't need to necessarily know
what are all your triggers are all your pieces because they
will show up but you can do Abraham-Hicks talks a little bit
about this. Of course you don't want to
spend a lot of time thinking about your past relationships
and things that didn't work. So you don't want to be stirring
that up but you can use it as a springboard.
I didn't like it when this happened, so I do want this to
happen. I didn't like it that he put his
his whatever above what I thought, you know, should be
there. So I'd love someone who spends,
you know, more time, you know, in a way that works for me or I
didn't like that the way he was as a parent.
So you know, I want someone to be more involved with their kids
or whatever the piece is that you're swinging from instead of
just kind of reacting to it. I have to look for someone who
isn't like this trying to really stack yourself up with what's
the opposite of that. So that's been my experience and
that's what I was doing a lot before I met shine was really
instead of like, I don't want someone like this.
I really tried to go. Okay.
These were the things I didn't like now really spend, like, 90%
more time than I spent on making the list.
I didn't like really juicing up, so I didn't like this.
So I mean, I want this and this and this and this and it like
that. So I want this innocent So
really spending making sure that you're kind of attracting
instead of actually attracting the things that you don't want
which is where some of that unconscious comes from.
And like Dalton said, don't worry if there's bits in there
that you don't know you're running because there are and
you'll Attract it and you'll get to deal with it and then you'll
have that awareness about it. And like we said at the
beginning and like, Georgia and silver said as well, they
weren't actually, what we weren't, what we were each other
were Looking for, they weren't lined up at the time.
They met either. For this being this perfect love
affair. It was really there was just
enough pieces in the moment and enough openness to be able to
keep seeing it through and I think that's a piece to that was
it silver said at the beginning, kind of don't cut yourself off
before. You've even started and being
open to trying it out. Checking it out, not having this
big expectation of it needing to be.
Something life-changing but that just that willingness can grow
into a relationship and 100%. I know, shine and I would not
have would not be together if we hadn't both been willing to show
up in what to me and him seem like a rather mismatched
relationship at the beginning. So yeah, I actually met another
guy who was dating a woman with kids or just broken up with a
woman who had kids and he really was like, are you?
Sure that you want this because it's a thing like it like if you
like it's a thing, like be sure that that's what you want and it
wasn't what I wanted at all. Like I actively was like not
looking for that and I wanted to only focus on the business and
have no distractions and it was so my mental mind was like,
okay, this is fun. But in about like, a possibly
things like it wasn't even like, oh she doesn't work out enough
where she eats meat and I don't like, it was not something that
was, you know, not me. Not having kids was not We
actually ever going to be an option.
So it was like the number one biggest.
Yeah. Biggest deterrent for what shine
thought he was looking for in the moment?
Thank you, Deanna, and by and I kept meditating and getting into
the Vortex as best I could. And I kept receiving this
message when I would meditate and get quiet and I would ask
the question that it's like, no, this is really good for you.
This is what you want. Give it a like, stay with it.
Just don't don't Don't don't go don't like throw it away.
Just stay with it and and that's been a big way that Crystal and
I have both balanced when things get really hard.
Is we've gone through enough Cycles where we know that when
we feel really good, it feels really right.
And like it is a good fit. And so, even if we can get
ourselves into a bit of a spin, which I don't do this anymore, I
don't know, of course of those but I think we've kind of
spiraled a bit out of this but Where where we might in the past
be sort of doubting and I was just the right thing and are we
is this what we really want and and now that we've been through
enough cycles and we know that when we feel really bad we can
create these stories that aren't true and and then that can lead
to, you know, decisions and things that by like I said you
want to say something quick. Before you go.
No, okay, you're good. Thank you, Mom.
Was it Cycles tuning in? Yeah that we've just sort of
easy. We've just sort of learned that
the thing to do when we're feeling bad is to get feeling
good and not trying to deal with anything that feels bad and fix
it or like talking through or whatever, it's like, just like,
leave the room, take some space, get feeling better.
And then, you know, if you need to talk about something repair,
whatever, proactively create a plan.
For the next step but just yelling at each other or being
being mean to each other like you know venting when there's
not the other one can't really hold spaces.
We found to be very counterproductive because it
just creates more repair to do later and and I'm guessing you
know, in the worst case, scenarios for four people, it
ends up in the relationship ending because they're just
like, I don't, I can't deal with this is too much and and so it's
that thing. So yeah, I think that's a good
piece to remember to especially when we're kind of all, you
know, talk oh. It's lovely being in
relationship and it's so fun and and to really remember that
never in our relationship was there especially at the
beginning not thoughts of. I don't know if this is going to
work and that it was hard and there was a lot of that and for
me being through many long-term relationships before shine where
I had had those thoughts and then yes, eventually it did end
and it was very painful. It was really hard for me to
meet those times with myself where I was with shine going.
Okay. Here's the beginning of another
relationship. I'm feeling the same way.
I felt in those other relationships and those ended
and I was right and it didn't work and all that stuff.
I proved myself, right? So why does going to be
different right now? And it was really hard for me.
Not to pull that history with me and jump out early and sell and
sabotage the relationship early because it did come up a lot.
For me and it was something like shine said with my kids.
And for me there was a lot of things that a lot of ways that
he reminded me of my exes which was really scary because I
thought I'm going to end up in the same position and a lot of
ways when he did not remind me of what I thought I needed in a
partner and of my ideal. So I kind of had to proofs like
my future projection of what I wanted.
He didn't match a lot of that and my past history, I was
pulling up with me. He did match a lot.
Not. So it was really scary for me
and I had to do exactly like shine said and I had to really
walk away. We created early on I had
insecurities of him cheating when we were fighting so I
thought if we don't fix this fight right now, he's going to
go off and cheat on me. So I had to be vulnerable with
him about that and share that. As soon as I could in the
relationship and we came up with a deal that we had some good
communication about it and that we would not end the
relationship when we were feeling Not about it in a fight
and we would not cheat or go be with other people without a
community conversation. First and shine felt really
solid, that that's not his Mo, that's not how he's going to
behave. And so that really I needed that
even though he's like, I've never do that.
Of course, but I needed that reassurance and I asked for that
really clearly, and I had to do Reality Checking when we were
fighting. Okay, you're walking away.
Are you going to go cheat on me? No, I'm not.
Okay, I just needed to hear that.
And I did that for a long time. Time at the beginning because
that was a big piece. I was pulling up with me but it
was I was not saying you have to fix me or change me.
I was saying this could be supportive for me to feel, okay,
to let this go right now, so he can walk away.
And then I had to do the work of what am I pulling up?
Why am I feeling bad about him? What are the pieces that I have
really activated in my psyche around relationship and around
shine? And are they true?
And a lot of times I could see A, they weren't true.
And B, I was just in the shit anyway.
I was feeling bad and our deal with each other was if I feel
bad about shine leaving his socks on the floor which I keep
bringing up but it was a real thing for me at the beginning of
a relationship. If I feel bad about that, I
would check and do. I feel bad that good about
everything else but just bad about this and the answer was
100% know. I always felt bad about a lot of
things including the socks, which were terrible is so
painful. But really, I was actually
having a bad day and feeling bad about a lot of things and they
were the trigger, were the Catalyst or the final straw.
So I made myself a deal that I'm not going to talk to him about
the socks until I'm feeling really good.
And then if it's still a real thing then we can like sign said
we can create some systems and here's the laundry basket.
I've never heard about the socks.
So obviously she did a good job because I don't remember ever
having any conversation or knowing about this before
tonight and what I found was of course when I was in a good
place in the Text. I got ideas for how to
communicate it in a way that obviously didn't feel triggering
or scarring for him, and the behavior was able to shift and I
was able to let go of my expectations.
So I think that's a piece to to keep in mind when you're hunting
for this relationship where you're in the beginning of a
relationship to really check all those red flags and all those
warnings of course, you know, you might end up on a date with
someone who's just a hell? No, and that's fine, but check
where those are. Those red flags real is that is
that past, I'm pulling up and putting on this person's face.
Is it future stuff that I'm like, oh they do this?
There's no way we can be together in ten years if they do
this, like, just kind of like you can make a mental note and
you can be like sure I'll readapt address this on day 10
you know, I can give yourself a break like if it's still a thing
and it still comes up, we can talk about it but let there be
some space because so much of it, we're just picking up from
where we left off and especially if you left off in a bit of Ask
which normally we do, because that's what ended the
relationship. You know, give yourself some
time to build some Foundation where it's comfortable and fun
to be with someone before you dig in and fix things and change
things and make sure that you're completely compatible at the
beginning. So yeah, I Michelle, thank you
so much for being here, for being here has really
encouraged. Thank you so much really great
to hear everybody. Thank you.
Dolphin and really great to use well and thanks for everyone
else. Dating love you shine.
And Michelle is one of the first.
She was one of the first ones in our new singles group that we
have formed. And she actually did the thing
that we asked everyone in the group to do, which is to start
putting yourself out there, say what you're looking for, say,
what you're open to receive, how you want to connect with people,
and to start putting yourself out there because we love
connecting people and that's what's really fun for us and we
keep coming across people in the community.
So we'd love to hear from you so that we can Some connections
dolphin. You go yet?
Gonna love you. We love you doll.
Thank you for being here. It can.
Yes, can you share with people because they've I'm sure enjoyed
your wisdom, has noticed self. Can you tell us and we'll share
the links of course but what you're offering the relationship
community and how they can play along with you.
Mmm. Yeah.
Relation flicks.com is the education platform and and again
we're just warming up there's going To be so much on the
platform that is for people looking for self awareness, self
development relationship, communication conflict,
resolution intimacy development, like all of that's going to be
there and all sorts of forms. So go and check out relation.
Flicks.com, we have, yeah, we have annual plans that are
really, really accessible, as well as monthly subscription and
the other side is my personal work.
Mostly, you'll see me writing on Facebook and posting on
Instagram and on Instagram. My link Tree on Instagram.
If you want to speak with me about working directly with me
at the unique offer, right now for people that want deep
long-term support for transformation and sustainably.
So just check out my Instagram, which is Dolphin Casper with AK?
They're using to find you online.
Amazing stuff, everyone wondering.
Yes that is his real name dolphin Casper.
Whether hey I love dolphin and we really appreciate you and
thank you for everything. You've really been a huge
support to us and United and it's just such a such a joy to
have you in our lives and appreciated, your wisdom.
And thank you very much and congratulations on semester for
everyone, relation flicks. So like Netflix, but with for
relationships. So yeah, it's an amazing space
that dolphin is holding for our community, so do check it out
and reach out if you need help, finding the links or getting
connected to dolphin and Ecstatic to support you with
that. Well, thank you both.
I love you. Thanks for having me.
I look forward to more and yeah, we'll be connecting in finding
each other more and more as we go.
I love you so much. Send love to your family for us,
much love. Yeah I think you will do.
Cheers. Thank you.
Dolphin. Yes, I have a question.
I know this. You night show is new this
month. So I was wondering if you might
have plans to do or Relationships the monthly or
every few months or you let us know when you're ready to share.
Yeah, we're definitely feeling like there's, of course, million
subjects that we're excited to talk about.
So, last week we did Marketing in mindfulness which was super
fun and really interesting and next week we have got talking
your Tech questions. So bringing your Tech questions
to actually our unite Tech Team, so for people building their
websites. If they Help with ads any kind
of tech questions we really want to support the community in
learning more about that and getting the support they need.
So that's going to be next week when we have lined up after that
ribbon. It's like a vision board kind of
manifestation by and thought you know, for New Year's coming up.
Yeah, lining up for our new year, getting your, you know,
your perspective relationships on there and being nice and
clear. So we definitely we don't have
yet set like that. Every once every month we're
going to do a Relationship one, but I do think that it feels
like it is, we always listen to what the community's asking for
from us. And what we're getting, a lot of
requests about and relationships is definitely a high up there.
So I do think we're going to be cycling in some kind of
relationship thing, pretty regularly.
And then the other piece that we want to do for anyone who's
wants to check out our unite singles group.
So you can find that on euphy on Facebook.
It's just unite singles and What we wanted to really do with that
is start to use it as a little bit of a platform for people.
Like I said, Michelle already did share just a little bit
about what she's looking for, what she's opened for we want to
be able to share resources on there will of course, share the
replay of this call and to start really finding out what will be
useful and valuable for the singles in our community and how
we can support them better and definitely if more calls like
this are helpful to, you would love to hear that there.
And then I'm sure we'll probably get in some polls and things for
what will be most supportive and we do as we are in the Vancouver
Lower Mainland. We're also excited to
potentially host some meet ups as well, and get actually
everybody in a room together and connecting together.
And we do have a lot of other people in our community who have
a lot to share on the kind of more conscious relationship
angle. So we'll hopefully be getting
some different speakers as well. Come in and talk.
And yeah, yeah. All kinds of fun stuff planned.
Great. And some, I know at the
beginning when you started recording, you said that you did
live on Facebook, you do live on Instagram and then you put this
on YouTube as well. I'm just wondering where you put
all the content, exactly, you know, the only show that YouTube
link the most. It seems to be a good place to
funnel people. And then we'll also put it on
United and almost of are like, channels that can can host this
video. Yeah, we might take Little clips
and put them on Tick-Tock or whatever.
Yeah yeah. Okay thank you.
Yeah thank you for your kind here.
Apologies. I feel like it was false
advertising as we haven't done a single mingle and don't really
know what to do about it. Other than if you guys want to
show you have an idea. Yeah, I was thinking if you guys
want to share a little bit about, you know, who you are,
what you're looking for, that could be a way to just sort of
share. And then I have a selfish Unite.
Question of the end, what I was thinking especially because it's
a bit of a more intimate group and it might feel intense for
people to be like, hi this is me and this is what I'm looking
for. Although we're totally open to
hold space for that as well. What I would love to use this
for is a little bit of a, you guys are obviously our Target
for this community and who we want to support.
So like exactly what Melanie was asking, what would be valuable
for you in Being supported by unite in your single to
non-single journey and also we could do a little bit of if you
want to what I was thinking. If there was more of us and we
would do more of a mingle. What we would get people to do
is just kind of share a little bit more informal instead of
like this is me what I'm looking for but kind of like this is
what I value, these are my values.
These are maybe some of my mistaken beliefs that I'm
working on, I love It was kind of just unraveling that so that
we can be a little bit of a support for each other in this
community. And I think my intention is that
that then spills out into the group as well.
We're in the group were able to kind of share that and support
each other in that as well, where you can say, hey, I'm
wanting to start dating but I'm feeling nervous about this or
that. So yeah, that was kind of.
Thanks Alice, not but thank you, Allison.
I know we've run a little bit long here and we appreciate
everyone. Coming and maybe we'll just have
to have a whole mother singles event and rally everybody and do
that again soon. Thank you, Alison.
I was actually going to share this week on the Facebook group,
but I didn't have time to write up what I wanted, but I plan to
do that this week. So I think I'll just do that
instead of sharing here, because I'm going to be going as well.
But amazing, thank you so much for being here and we're really
excited to keep supporting the community.
And it feels like this is, yeah, I'm really I need, and I sure
wish there was someone holding the space when I A single.
So yeah, we're like you found a wonderful guys.
So work so well. Exactly.
Well, that's kind of why we haven't done a little bit of
this. In the past is really, we're
not, we don't need to, you know, we're in a relationship.
So, you know, what's the point of us hosting?
Like, singles events and then we were really getting the message
that people are like, hey but we need like, you know, support and
inspiration. And you guys hold such great
space for that. So we're like, okay, I guess,
yeah, I do have an idea. Within the unite, singles group,
I was thinking that if we want, we can kind of host or suggest
an event and then we can plan ourselves instead of you guys
organizing everything because I know you guys have lots of
groups and lots of things going on.
So we can initiate ourselves to like, create an event and I love
only support that we on the same page.
That's what we were really hoping for is it would kind of
be like, hey, I'm going for a walk on the beach and does
anyone? To come.
This is my area and that it doesn't have to be again, like,
oh, you can only come if you're a male because I'm female and
I'm interested in men that were supporting each other.
You guys are supporting each other in having these, you know,
like, okay, we'll go for a walk and it's going to be with a
couple other women, but we're all going to talk about
conscious relationships and what we're attracting and bring that
mindfulness to it and support each other and changing our
beliefs, and that it doesn't have to be.
Oh, they're just dates or It's just meeting up with people that
I'm interested in because like we were talking about earlier
on, we need to what really supports Us in attracting the
relationships that we're looking for is putting ourselves around
people that believe it's possible to.
So yeah, I just having a discussion on relations
relationships. Yeah, yeah.
Having a fun event like going bowling or going to a restaurant
or like something fun. I feel like that's where I've
met most of my people that I've been become intimate with this.
Like events and parties have been doing fun things.
I've never, I've literally never gone on a date that I like just
where I like dating app or you're like, oh let's go on a
day like I always just meet people through things and yeah
just kind of happens. So yeah it's that's that's cool
no don't feel like you're stepping on any toes step on in.
Oh yeah suggest create events for the group to you feel like
yeah we're going to go to this restaurant, you know, when works
for everyone or I'm you know I'm going home later.
Excuse darling. Once you start it will pump, it
will will keep on will invite people and we'll get it going.
Yeah. But I'll be more than glad to be
a Corgan iser, because I do have experience in organizing events
back when I used to do meet up perfect.
Well, I'd love to coordinate to have Melanie if she's open to
that as well. Amazing, amazing.
Now, we're talking so good. I love it.
You guys will be our two core coordinators and we will
coordinate with you and we'll get some stuff happening.
Inning. Yeah, yeah, I love it into that
Melanie. Are you open to that suggestion?
She might have stepped away, shut us up to it.
All right, how are you doing? Nazar, do you have anything you
want to share before? We not really just the app
thing, you know, it's the Android build is about to be
launched this one tomorrow, if not next week, the latest.
And what's that, what's the elevator pitch?
The pitch for a space Village? Yes.
Yeah, well yeah, that's simple. Its platform or Property Owners,
you know, an event planners can connect because I've been
looking for, you know, places to rent to host events and
property. Do you know think of a new
Marketplace? Yeah.
Because real estate, you know, it's not working anymore.
So now that's fantastic. That's a great idea.
So we will know, all the good places to host a singles meet
up. It.
Yeah, well, we'll get there. That's that, that sounds really.
That sounds really cool. If your intention with it is to
maybe one day, sell it, we might buy it.
We're going to want to build something similar.
So yes, I'm using, you know, Club advisor platform.
It's a really unique platform, word, censorship free.
So this is the big Beauty, right?
No data mining being sold to third parties.
Not nothing like that. So cool, and congratulations.
Good for him. I'm really happy for you.
Yeah, whoo. Yeah, signing and he while
you're while you're here and we have you any thing that you
would like support with either personally professionally and
also Is there anything that you've seen on you from unite or
us on social or email? But also on the platform itself
that you were like, oh, this isn't working or this could be
better, or I'd rather I want this Builder is just I'm just
looking for General General feedback, right.
I honestly have been very busy with, you know, like the app and
everything, so I didn't really do a thorough check on over
unite, but I'll definitely do that.
But I think, in my opinion, And I think they're, it's offering a
bit too much, so one can get lost.
So we can have it more focused. I think it would make it easier.
That's the, you know, the, you know, the very, you know,
surface level, you know, opinion until I dig deeper and give you
a proper flutter, got it. Are you talking about the app or
just unite social in general? I think you like, social in
general. It's like it's doing so many
things that gets confused, a lot going on.
Exactly, okay, cool. Yeah, that's great feedback.
Back. We're definitely thinking about
that. Yeah, awesome brother, lovely to
connect with. You biting me this was great and
looking forward, you know, to seeing how we can create the
next event or co-organized next event.
Yeah, we actually don't have a meet-up yet so if you want to
Not or not, we don't know how to use it yet.
So yeah, I would learn and create a United meet up here and
look into that. But maybe we'll be using space
villager pants instead, right? Because that's perfect.
Yeah, that's right, Android. Build, this is out there, I'll
definitely reach out to you and see how we can utilize it.
And have some kind of partnership or collaboration,
you know, of unite and see how broken value to each other.
That sounds great. Yay, hello ma'am.
Really, really nice to connect here and Appreciate you and what
you're doing in the world and we will connect soon.
Yeah, have a good night. Tell me go.