OK, hello and welcome. I'm already drunk.
Yeah, welcome back to Unbothered.
We have. Kasia West again.
Back again we I have done so many serious episodes and I kind
of miss when I would just get a little tipsy and a little crazy
and so I thought, who better to do it with?
I know. I'm so excited.
No, this is like my wave that
I'm on now too. We're doing a red Flag episode,
guys. We're talking about really niche
and maybe some obvious red flags that men have.
Yeah, I think everyone should play a drinking game with this
of to see how many red flags the guy that you're seeing has.
We get your wine, get your tequila, whatever it is, and if
any of the guys that you're dating exhibit these behaviors,
take a shot, Take a shot. And if you're drunk by the end
of this episode, consider ending your relationship or
situationship or whatever you're.
In And the incredible thing is you'll be so drunk that you can
text somebody else and go to home with them.
Oh shit, my list is long. I thought I would texted you and
I was like oh I'm only going to write down 20.
I think I've written down at least 97.
Are you serious? That's good because I didn't
write that many down because I was out with two red flags last
night, but I it gave me some material.
Perfect, perfect. Before we begin, cheers.
Welcome back to LA. Thank you baby.
You're like, see you last. Time I've been here, I know.
I was so sad, but you were doing your little thing.
I went, I don't know what I was doing, but I seemed very.
Happy. So that's all I care about.
Thank you. I kept checking your location.
I'm like, And then I see Hawaii. I was like, ma'am, where are
you? You text me and you're like,
what the fuck is going on? Yeah, I had a good time.
OK, I'm going to kick it off, OK?
If he loves Miami. You know my ex-husband is moving
to Miami there. You go.
I kind of told him to. I was like literally leave and
go to Miami. I know that's what you want.
And he's in New York. No.
Well, now he's in Thailand, but. We my follow up, my follow up
red flag is going to Thailand specifically alone.
OK, I think it's a red flag when a guy doesn't stick up for you
to his guy friends. Big red flag.
Are you kidding me? Like what?
You suck. No, you're gay.
You're gay? Are you kidding me?
Like you're you're going to let your boy be mad at me for some
dumb shit? Are you serious?
Also, why are they not? What's going on?
Something occurred. Something occurred.
Do you want a story or should we move on?
It's up to you. I mean, OK, OK, I won't.
I won't. I won't.
He's probably going to hear it and be like, are you actually
serious? I don't like drama with your
friends and like, I shouldn't even be hearing about it.
You genuinely should be sticking up for me.
I was going to say, I don't think I've encountered drama
with my like anyone that I'm dating his friends.
Is that the first for me? One time and I can tell the
story and everybody involved is going to hear about it and
they're going to hate me for good.
We went to one of my ex's best friend's cousin's party.
If you're following, it was her birthday.
This is the type of stuff that makes my brain shut down.
OK, so my boyfriend at the time, yeah, one of his best friends
who I really love. OK.
It was his cousin's party. Tracking a little, go ahead,
okay. Just a birthday party on the
roof, whatever, not a big deal. We were all having a great time
and I came from a different party in Malibu and I was
wearing designer leather shoes, okay, like sandals that were
brand new. He stepped on them.
The friend and I was like OK like please don't step on my
toes. He was a goal your wires all
slides or sandals or whatever. And then I can't really remember
what happened. I was drunk.
I think he has spilt or like something happened following it
and I was like, what the fuck? And we got into like beef and
I've never beefed with any of these friends ever.
But I was like, why would you try to intentionally fight my?
It's so. Awkward.
I don't even think it. It was so stupid and silly
because we were both drunk and we were just playing with each
other. But then later I met this New
Girl and I told her what happened and she said what?
She called him over and she was shit faced.
Everybody was black out. She slapped him across the face
and I was like, I've started something really bad.
It became like he's actually my ex's favorite friend of mine, so
I was. Like, damn, I really didn't mean
to like start a war over that. So awkward.
It's like fighting with someone's family or something.
It's just one of those things where it's just, it just ruins
everything and it's just like, what is this drama?
I don't like it. I also think it's a red flag to
on both on both parties. It's not just meant, like in a
relationship, when you're overly venting to your friends about
small arguments because now everybody's going to hate your
significant other. I think about that sometimes and
I, I try not to and I, I tell myself just don't say anything
and I'm like, no, I'm going to tell them everything because I'm
like low key my friends don't like him.
But like I, oh, and he asked me to apologize to him and I did
and he still he didn't like he didn't accept the apology.
And I literally said I was like, I, I love you like I love this
guy. I love to hang out with him and
everything. And now it's awkward.
Like why is everyone trying to ruin my relationship with my red
flag? Can I?
Can I just have a red flag? Like I don't have this.
What? No, mind you, I'm doing this,
but like, I'm not marrying the guy, not.
Trying to put him in your bloodline.
OK calling women females. I do not like when they do this.
Yeah, I didn't know the thing until I said it one time, and
then everyone called me out. They're like, don't call women
females. And I was like, right, Coming
from a misogynist, yeah, it doesn't sound very good.
No, it's giving red pill podcasts energy and I don't like
that so. Is red pill even thriving still
or are they only? Just driving, yeah.
They're not Angel yet. No, I actually saw a video of
Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes and like all the other guys dancing
to some heinous anti-Semitic song of Kanye's in the club in
Miami like a week ago. So they're out.
Also I thought he was in jail tape for like sex trafficking
and assault, you know? He'll go back to jail.
Red flag is look at look at their view page, if there's any
kind of red pill shit on it. But you can actually hear it in
the way that they talk at this point.
You can, Yeah. You know, I need to start kind
of not in it anymore. I need to do a little scrolling
on like a fake account so it doesn't get anywhere near my
algorithm so I can hear the things that they say.
Have you seen, I saw a journalist, she started a new, I
can't remember who it was for. I want to say someone like Vice.
She started a new account on TikTok and she said she was a
guy. She said she was 18.
Within I think like 12 minutes they're getting fed red pill
content. You know what it is immediately
is it's girls dancing. The second you make a new
account, it's no matter what it's.
And it's also young girls, 16 year old girls dancing, yes.
And I was like hello you and you have to like scroll so fast to
get away from it if. You put your age as 16, OK, But
if you're putting your age as 2530, OK, What's the thing going
on anyway? Red flag.
Big red flag for me. Who's up next?
Is it you or it's you? This is amongst other topics
that I have, so let's see. Oh my God, I apparently wrote
down a bunch of topics last night when I was out.
Love that it's a red flag if they go to strip clubs.
Yes, agreed. And it's just like you can't.
And now, mind you, I go to strip clubs.
I can go, I can go to strip clubs because it's aesthetic.
The reason I like strip clubs is very aesthetic.
Do you have any idea how aesthetic it is to see a woman's
body gliding down the pole with the money flowing in the air?
It's highly aesthetic. One of my best friends likes to
go to strip clubs. She's very, very artsy, mind
you, like extremely artsy. And she likes to take out a
bunch of money and spell out words with the money on the
platform and take. And she'll go by herself.
Sometimes I'm like, are you for real?
She she's. A photographer, and she's like,
well known for it, so it makes sense that she's doing what
she's doing. But at the same time I'm like,
OK, OK, OK, we're doing that. We're at.
What's the one on Sunset called? Body Shop.
Yeah, we're at The Body Shop. I was.
In a Body Shop 3 times this week.
Really crazy you tried flag though.
Like men don't need to be in there.
Yeah. Listen, I'm going to tell you
all the guys that are at Body Shop there all the time, it's
always someone. It's either like a wrapper or
like a random like birthday party or like random like white
guys or but it's just, to me, it's just paying for it.
To me. I think once a man, once a man,
thinks of a woman's body in terms of something he can buy,
he's no longer going to treat you properly.
Or respect you, or when it's not even used.
Yeah, it's just because, like it's taking out any need for
effort. It's just like, oh, if you have
$100, I'm going to slap your ass with it and put it in your G
string. If you feel like that's how easy
you can get it, then why are you ever going to put?
I know. Like, are they blowing up an air
mattress? Yeah, we just got up and we had
a confrontation with a leaf blower man outside who was not
blowing leaves. He was just in an empty parking
lot like this with a leaf blower anyway.
But yeah, if a man thinks that he can pay for it, then like,
what incentive does he have to treat you nicely if he thinks he
could just go to the strip club and buy some?
I also. Think, I mean, yes, I haven't
really thought about that in that way and that's upsetting to
me. I don't I don't know cuz I don't
date men that go to strip. Well, they probably do, and I
just don't know it. It's possible.
A lot's. Happening to me emotionally
right now. If you are somebody who on your
bachelor party wants to go to a strip club.
No. Or someone who's like, oh, it's
my last night of freedom. Like, actually your, your
freedom or whatever the fuck you want to call it went away when
you got into a relationship. And you shouldn't feel like it's
a ball and chain. Yeah.
Like, marriage should be something you're excited about.
You found your person. You're spending the rest of your
life with them. Like, it shouldn't be this like,
oh, I got to go look at a bunch of naked women.
Like, fuck somebody. Like it's awful.
It's also pathetic. Yeah.
It's just gross. I don't like it.
There's some guys who for some reason it doesn't bother me.
And I swear it's only if you're in the music industry.
It doesn't bother me. Like if I know you can easily
get it otherwise and you're just there for like a because that's
what they do, then that's whatever.
Anyhow, moving on, OK. She's so ready.
To wait for this one, this one No one talks about this one.
This should be our national flag.
And basically, yeah, it is the American flag.
If a man has two chargers, if he has two chargers, if he has a
charger on both sides of his bed, he is a walking red flag.
Really. Because you know what's messed
up is as a Virgo to me, I'm like, Oh my God, you're
literally so prepared and organized.
Prepared for what? Me baby when we spend the night.
That's adorable. I'm the worst right now to talk
about this as a non monogamous person because what it means you
have a girlfriend, you have a girlfriend.
You are seeing so many women that it became inconvenient to
share your charger. So you bought another charger
and you put it on your other night stand and like, too shy.
Good, good job. I guess because now women are
like, he's prepared. But it's like, baby, did you
think about how many times a week he's prepared?
Oh yeah, no red flag for anyone looking for like an actual like
relationship. I yeah, I don't even think I
could think of a bigger red flag than that because it's yes, you
either have a girlfriend. I'm sorry.
They have a girlfriend. They have a girlfriend.
There's no way that any man has the the forethought to just keep
the charger there. And if they did, professional
man whore professional. Profession.
You will never settle down. That's in no way now I can't, I,
I need to like, I almost wish I was like actually sleeping with
a lot of people to, to see. Maybe I'll just go to people's
houses and pretend I'm going. The house tour.
I have a friend who likes to get the house tour.
I mean, it is interesting. It is interesting to go back to
a guy's house and be like, OK, what?
My thing is messy. I can't do messy.
People or it's situations. Oh, I could do a messy
situation, but if your apartment is messy, I'm out.
Yeah, I agree. I can't.
I can't fucking a mess. I had a friend once.
Well, I'm not going to call her a friend.
I knew someone once who said that she was dating a guy and he
was like, 20-30 years her senior.
And, yeah. And she was like, you know, he
said that he's broken up with his girlfriend.
But I went to his place and he has a loft and Tribeca.
It's Immaculate. And he had, like, place settings
and he had all the wines and he had or turfs and in the closet,
it was so well organized. And there were still women's
clothes in there. And I was like, so he's married.
He has a fucking wife. Yeah, he's a wife because he's
60 or however old he is. Yeah.
And she's like, no, no, no, no. He wouldn't lie to me.
And I'm like, baby, I know you like that Tribeca apartment, but
I have news to break to you. They don't have organizers in
their closet without a wife. That's not how that works.
Yeah, he wouldn't lie to me. Is crazy.
He wouldn't lie to me. Virgo machine.
Yeah, unless they're Virgo. They're.
Kind of organized, you said the girls of Virgo.
I was like, OK, OK, you know what I find to be a red flag?
Please share. If you if you have sex in front
of your animal, like if a guy, if you're, if you hook up with a
guy and he doesn't like put his animal in the other room, like
I'm sorry, no, it's really. Bad because why is this little
creature witnessing this? Put it away and.
When I tell you this must be prevalence because there's no
way. There's no way.
It's happened to me more than once.
Why? Why not just like, escort the
dog or the cat out of the room? Genuinely because you want it to
watch, especially if it's a boy dog.
I swear to God. I swear to God they're like, you
watch me beg this girl like yeah bro like I I.
Swear. No, it's really weird.
I don't have. Encountered that, it's really
traumatizing. Yeah, and it happened to my
friend also. And I'm like, the dog licked our
toes. No, I'm like, that's
beastiality. No the the dogs.
And the cats? They need to be out of the room.
Absolutely not. Do you, you, I know you know
that this animal is aware. Genuinely the weirdest thing
that I think anyone could possibly do.
No, it's really weird. We have a lot to get through.
I think we need a rapid fire. Are you ready?
Rapid fire? Go ahead.
Can't make decisions. EW red fucking flag if a man.
Can't make the decision. Why are you even here?
Do you want me to eat you out too?
Oh my God. Do you want me to pick the
restaurant and then lick your? Literally, I wrote doesn't know
what I want to eat when I'm hungry.
Like when I'm hungry and I don't know, I need you to suggest
things and take me there. Yeah, if I'm starving and I'm
about, I'm this close to entering like bitchy territory,
I need you to be like, we're going here right now.
Yeah, also because a woman, OK, I've talked about this before.
A woman doesn't want to decide what the two of you are eating
because a man doesn't know how to not have it all over their
face if they don't like it or if they don't know what you're
trying to spend. Sometimes my favorite part of
being taken out on a date is all I do is get ready, which also
takes me two fucking hours. Yeah.
And then you pick the place and then I show up and then we have
a good time. I'm not that picky.
You pick the place. I trust you.
If I'm dating you. Yeah, and let's go eat.
Men, men genuinely have no idea how much effort it takes to get
ready. No, I literally the last episode
I dropped was about like beauty standards and, and how much of
my brain power and time out of my day it takes and how much
more I could put toward things that matter if I didn't have to
blow out my hair for two hours or get my nails done or do my
makeup or get a spray tan or whatever.
And then there's people who are like, oh, you don't have to do
any of those things. Yes, I do.
Are you insane? Yes, I do.
I feel like I have to. Everyone else, no, you have to.
And honestly, it's not about even having to.
I want to. That's what I'm I want, and the
man wants you to also. Everybody.
Everyone wants me to. No one wants me to step out of
the house with no with my hair and my makeup not done and no
outfit. We're not getting in anywhere.
And I do and don't get me wrong, but the difference like I've
literally seen side by side Instagram videos where it's like
a girl and she's just spare faced in a bun with sweats.
She's carrying really heavy luggage at like the Grove and
nobody else her. And then she's in a cute sun
dress with a blow in her hair and makeup.
And 90 people ask. Society does treat you
differently when you get ready versus when you don't.
It doesn't mean that you're chopped.
It just means that that's how we are all conditioned.
Even babies look at people that are attractive longer.
It's human nature. It's human nature.
And also men need to understand that you're getting ready
because you're if you're out with a man and you look good,
you're raising their status. So you better appreciate that
she took the time to get ready to make you look good.
And if you don't and you rush her and you don't understand
that red flag, red flag. OK, A.
Man, that rushes Getting Ready. OK.
Oh my God, The Wiffle of Ostry. Just its favorite movie.
Yeah, you can't even comment on it.
It's not bad. I can I can comment on it
because one of my exes of five years, who as it turned out, was
wearing my and his ex wife's lingerie, hooking up with guys
and dressing like woman on low, which nothing wrong with it, but
she literally said let's work on it, let's do whatever, and he
still was cheating on her. Not only was it his favorite
movie, but when we broke up, I literally took the DVD and I
scratched it all up. Just that's how much of his
favorite movie it was. Like he watched it every day or?
Probably jerked off to it. You're not gonna agree with this
and it's totally fine, but I think if he has a chain
necklace, it's a red flag. A chain necklace.
It like a little gold chain like it is swinging around.
Yeah, he faces no genuine. I agree with that.
I think it's a red. Flag a little gold chain, mind
you, a little gold. Chain.
I like guys like a diamond chain.
I know that's. Why?
I was like, I don't think she's gonna agree with this.
Yeah, but a little chain. I don't like if.
It's like if if I know it's just specifically my first boyfriend
but he's dead so it's fun. Are you being serious?
Yes, yeah, it's fine. I'm so.
Sorry, I'm Mike. No, I thought you were just
saying like you. Said you always think I'm just
saying stuff. And I'm, I know and you.
Said you were like that's so funny that you were joking with
your ex-husband about that. I was like wait what are you
talking? No, you're.
Like, no, that's a real thing. You know?
This is crazy shit. OK, He's never been in a
relationship. I think that's an awe never red
flag. There are men who have not.
Oh my God, I didn't even think to ask them.
Yeah, a man that's never been in a relationship or a man that is
in a relationship and he's still trying to talk to you.
Also bad. Fully screams of the TV while
he's watching sports. Honestly I have a hard time with
men that watch sports. I don't care if you watch it,
but if you are scaring me, like you are screaming, like, like
you're really getting into it, like at the top of your lungs to
the point where it's rattling my insides because I feel like I'm
going to get attacked. You've experienced this.
Not by people I dated, absolutely not OK, but I've been
in like houses during sporting events where people's boyfriends
will scream to the point where like it's genuinely I have a
jerk reaction to it and I'm like that I could not live with.
Unless they're losing money on it at that moment.
Sports betting isn't a green flag.
Right, right, right, right. That's probably, Oh, well, you
know what? I just have a lot of red flags
that I'm dealing with. I think you can bet on sports if
you're well off, but if you're if you're addicted to gambling,
I think OK, slippery slope. Yeah, gambling is probably not
good. I like.
Roulette as much as an X, but I don't I don't think gambling's.
Good. OK.
No, definitely not OK. Do you have any?
Cuz I'm gonna just keep going down my list if you don't.
Keep going cuz minor now minor jumbled up the rest of the stuff
that I was dealing with. The post Gym selfies in the
mirror. EW, why are we doing?
I want to throw this into the ceiling and then catch it.
That's how much that disgusts me.
Yeah, I'm gonna do a whole. I'm gonna run around the room
with that. Do a routine.
Literally EW EW if he knows his big three.
What the hell is? That you don't even know your
big and not you Angelito, you're allowed to die.
You walking red. Flags all out.
Wait, what's your sun, your moon, and your?
Eyes. Yeah man, I don't think I
managed to know that. Unless they're just like, super
artsy or like their ex-girlfriend at all.
But that's what I'm saying. Why do you know that?
Are you on costar? Why are you on costar?
Who put you there? Who did that?
But I do feel like it's not a red flag if you've been in a
relationship and you learned and then you, you know what I mean?
Like now you have a skin care routine.
It's like, OK, well, I don't wanna have to cook myself.
Yeah, an entire man, so I'm OK with that.
But at a certain point, it's a little like.
You know what's the worst thing revelation I've ever had that
we're all doing? Someone's ex I.
Don't like that at all. Because imagine how you feel
about the next person that's gonna date your ex I.
Think about that every time I date someone new I'm like I'm so
sorry to that girl I feel like what she feels empathetically
cuz it. Sucks, right?
And now you're dating someone's ex.
Yeah, I don't love that. I like men who are like, I've
never dated anyone before. You are.
You sure like this? That was a red.
That was your last red flag? No, it's a joke.
Like they're being, they're a joke.
Yeah. So like I, they're.
All a joke. Yeah, it was.
With a guy I'm seeing and like his group of friends and we were
talking about exes and someone asked me a question.
He was like, no, I've like actually never dated anyone
before her. That's.
Cute. Yeah, I like that.
And low key, I kind of like when a man just like lies to me.
I'm noticing that. But obviously like it can't be a
legitimate lie. It has to be like a We both know
I'm lying. Are you crazy?
You know, I'm doing a podcast right now.
Her ex-husband, if he's bad at math, I just feel like that
can't be good. Oh my ex is this one's horribly
bad at math. Yeah, and he's a red flag.
He's calling you while he knows you're filming.
Insane to talk to you about Uber insane.
I have a habit of just picking the biggest red flag, so I think
I really should have just made a list of all the characteristics.
Actually, I think it's a red flag if he wants to have
threesomes all the time. Yeah, throw up.
I just. Literally lost 5.
Do you think so? Do you think maybe that's I
think it's bright green? I don't know.
It says marry him to me. Yeah, maybe a yellow.
I did marry him. Are you insane?
Am I insane? Were you a willing participant?
Yeah. Did you suggest it?
Or did he? No, he Did I not talk to you
about all this? Just for the sake of the pun.
Oh, OK. For people who don't know what's
going on. Is my extension on my arm time?
Are you crazy? Where'd it go?
We we grab it, there's no way. Tip on the phone.
Am I ready to get up pick? It up we don't have any we have
no reason to be talking about red flags when we your arm for
the hours. Hey, these years are this is
$2000. You know what?
That's $100. Very.
Expensive. Oh my God.
See, I just throw them around. This is why I get wefs now
instead of K tips. No, I would happen a meal.
I switched from what? Oh please.
I'm gonna throw up. I'm throwing up.
Oh my God. Oh, it's fine.
I actually fell down the stairs last week.
I have like a really I'm I'm a red flag.
OK, you're going. Through I fell.
Oh my God. See you OK.
Can you see this? I don't know.
I fell down the stairs of The Afters and no one saw there's.
A gay dip there dude. There's like 3K tips and a.
Bruise my girl I was like bumping down the stairs.
I literally looked when is this going to stop?
Let me lean. She had like a clump of my hair
in her hand. It's.
Time for a. Reinstall the hair.
No, you're ripping out your hair.
Oh my God. OK Oh my God.
I can't even what was going through my mind whenever.
If he hunts innocent woodland creatures, EW.
If he's hunting deer and birds, I personally, I am Snow White.
And if you're out there doing that, you've got to get the fuck
away from me. I've been having to go back to
men that eat meat. I'm not referring to the all my
exes that have told me that they're gay.
Tons of girls in his comments, specifically ones being like
photocrat. Comments is very interesting
because I have looked at that and I genuinely think you have
to be such a slut as a man for the girls as a man.
Referee fowl. As a man, for girls to feel
comfortable being in your comments because they know that
you have no one special to you. Multiple girls, specifically
multiple girls. And I do think it's like women
trying to claim. You think so?
I think they're shooting their shot.
I don't know. I don't know that women would
publicly embarrass themselves like that.
I feel like they've been led on to some extent to the point
where they're like, I'm gonna now like publicly try to like,
stake my, like I like I'm missing on my.
Territory over here, everything that I post.
He comments on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If he vapes. EW eww green.
Absolutely a man that vapes. Put something else in here I'd
rather you like. Deciding.
Else like in your mouth? I'd literally rather you put it
in your mouth than a vape. It's so immature to me.
What are you, 16? What?
Are you 12? What are you?
12:00 You got the top corn. On I don't want that shit.
Weird if he sells courses. Yeah, if he blows up your.
Phone while you're filming and he knows you're.
Filming I I literally I'm shutting my phone.
Off if he drives a cyber truck. I guess why wait?
You date so many. What flags?
I don't know, it just feels particularly douchebag to me.
OK, hasn't been to therapy. Hasn't been to therapy never.
I think it's a red flag if a guy has been to therapy because I
think it means that a woman was like I literally this is the
last straw go to therapy. This.
Is the last straw and I do think that nowadays like men maybe
want to figure it out for themselves or even if it was a
woman being like this is the last straw, at least he's trying
to better himself and figure it out.
No, they're just doing it just to.
I think it's good. I did something.
I do, but OK, this is our first time where we're like agreeing
to agree. OK, we should.
I'm like, we should take a shot and have that take a swig.
He has highlights in his Instagram profile.
You shouldn't have highlight bubbles I thought.
You were going to say in his hair.
And I'm like my cousin has both. Also, red flag yeah if he dyes
his hair, If he highlights it. OK, if a man paints his nails
and it's not extremely, he's not extremely artistic as it is.
Red flag. First of all, it's not 2017.
Second of all, I don't care if you're in a band.
Like it's true it's true. My ex-husband, you already get
laid. Like we all know this.
Yes exactly, we all know it. Exactly.
He literally showed it to me and it said help on one of his
nails. Yeah.
It's a cry and they were too long.
I was like, are you destroying the insides of your new
girlfriend? What do you clip your nails too?
Long like you had. Acrylic.
No. Yeah.
Gel X. They look like they might as
well. I was like, is your girl OK?
Doesn't like cats? I don't think doesn't like dogs.
Doesn't like any animals, really.
Yeah. Yeah.
But cats, I feel like, are feminine in the way that you
have to earn their attention and their love.
You can't just pick them up like a dog.
Any dog's gonna love. You.
That makes sense. My dad hates cats and he tried
to raise me like a man so I get it.
OK, there you go, watches your story.
If it doesn't text you back obviously, why?
A man that watches your story and doesn't text you back is you
know what? You know what's weird?
A man that watches your story all the time but doesn't follow
you I. Think that's not only weird, but
like, really fucking weird? Really.
Weird, really weird. And it's one thing now I have
someone that does this to me that's just like keeping tabs on
me, which I just think is funny. But if a guy, a guy you're not
hooking up with at all and he's just too much of a bitch to
follow you back, but he's going to watch your stories all the
time because are you searching my name?
Yes, and not only that, but I think you remain in his recently
search. This happens a lot to one of my
best friends and I'm like, he doesn't like what's happening.
I don't understand what's going on in the mite.
Like use a fence stuff, figure it out, do something.
It's bizarre. It's very girly to do that.
OK, If he has a public Instagram, I don't want to be a
part of that. I'm going to be private.
I want you to have like 13 followers.
I want you to have photos from 7 years ago.
I don't think and then you should have Instagram.
I think that too, but then I'm like, if you met a guy and he
didn't have it, how could you vet him to make sure he's not
weird? I mean, it's not like Instagram
is going to prove that they're not.
Yeah, but you can really get in there.
You know what I do think though, is you can tell a lot about a
guy by the type of pictures that they post.
And like, if it's not aesthetic, then I'm like, oh, you have no
taste. And then if it's aesthetic, I'm
like, oh, you have to taste. Yeah, it has to be an in between
of like, I'm kind of trying, but not a lot.
Yeah. Oh my God.
When they're telling a story, I'm like, Oh yeah, the other
night I was at the bar or whatever, and all of the sudden
everybody's, everybody's pronouns become vague.
Everybody's mysterious. We don't use names.
Yeah, you are with a fucking girl that you don't mean to know
about. This is why I can't be in a
relationship. I don't think I'm ever going to
be in a relationship again. Not a real one.
At least not a real 1. When he asks your body count, I
witnessed this. I witnessed this recently.
Young children ask a woman's body count.
Because when I was growing up, body count meant how many people
did you kill? Yeah, No.
Body count was like, how many people did you kill and then all
of a sudden lose your ass? 20 somethings were like, oh,
that means how many guys have you slept with?
And the only reason that they care is because they're jealous
either of how many men you've slept with, because they wish
they could have slept with that many men or oh.
My God, goodness, Oh my God, it's spitting the.
Or they just can't get girls. If you're asking a woman your
body count, that means you have no bitches.
It's just bizarre. And I don't want to know that
never do do I want to ask a guy I'm dating, what's your body
count? I just think that's a crazy
question. And I don't want to think about
the person that I'm into fucking other people and let alone like
20-7 other people. Like I'm OK on the number.
Thank you. If he's a picky eater, he's
like, EW fucking Nuggets. It's bad.
Asks you to hang out last minute.
Pissing me off off pissing me off.
I was this close to cutting somebody off that I really like
because of this specific situation.
Yeah, cuz it shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah, do not treat me like I'm some bitch.
Like do not disrespect my time. Yeah, that pisses me.
What do you think I'm doing sitting home waiting for you to
text me and to, like, run to you like a puppy?
Literally. And I don't even think it's only
relevant to like when you're dating around or you're just
starting to see men. I think that a lot of men when
you're in long term relationships start to behave
that way as well. I don't give a fuck if you're
living with me. We both have busy schedules and
busy agendas come to be like, I want to take you out on
Saturday. I want to do this like, block
out your day, block out your calendar, make me a priority and
let me know. Otherwise, like it starts to
feel really, I don't know, we're losing the fun, we're losing the
honeymoon vibe of it all. And I don't want that.
That was one of my things too. It's just a man being unreliable
in any way is a red flag. What do they not understand
about it? I don't know.
And it's so easy. It's like the easiest thing they
could do. Because it's also like dinner.
Reservation and let me know. Or just shut up.
Just don't make a plan. Then don't text me and be like,
oh, I'm probably going to see you later.
Now I have to text other people and be like, hey, I might be
hanging out with you, but I want to see this person.
And then you have to decide to cut off the entire person and
just because of unreliability and you could have just shut up
and not texted me until you had a solid plan.
I also think a man who tries to make plans last minute is a man
who has many plans and the many options.
I know exactly then when I think about it, of me being one of the
people that like I'm texting to be like, oh, what are you doing
tonight? Yeah.
Am I the second one? My problem is I have a very hard
time spending time with anyone I'm not obsessed with.
So like, I'll end up not entertaining like anyone just to
only hang out with the person that I do.
You wanna see? Yeah, I love being obsessed with
somebody. I love being obsessed with so
much fun. I just can't.
I can't. Like it's either I'm so obsessed
with you or I'm I feel like I'm just wasting my time.
I can have fun like I know how to have a fun date or like a fun
night out with a guy that I don't take seriously and then go
back home like I know how to do and I can't do that about.
That a man asking me on a date that I'm not obsessed with makes
me so stressed out. Really so stressed out.
And my friends can do it and I can't do it.
Like I can go to like a party with them, but like sitting
one-on-one with a man that I'm not obsessed with is like a
torture chamber to me. Cuz I'm like, what do I need
dinner from you? Like I'd rather sit on the couch
and like have. I don't do dinner, I'd never do
dinner rather than I don't like drinks, only it's drinks and
then like some. Activities drunk.
Like we're doing something like out of the house.
OK yeah. Is a real estate agent.
There's too much charisma. You're always trying to sell me
something. You definitely were a promoter 6
years ago. Yeah, it's 100% so much the
promoted real estate agent pipeline.
It's genuinely, it's like the charisma that gets me every time
of a real estate They behave no like.
It gets me annoyed. Got you was I was gonna say it's
never gotten me you. Know it doesn't.
Get me, I never got gotten it gets me.
Scared if he uses Signal. Exactly.
I'm glad you don't know. It's an encrypted messaging app
where anything that they like text each other.
It can sound traceable. What were they doing on it?
Is rude to the wait staff. EW.
Get the fuck out of here. Biggest I will completely.
I can go from obsessed to someone to literally hating them
if they're rude to the wait staff because I find it
disgusting. You have no manners, no, no
Coos. Who raised you?
Not your mom. Maybe your mom is terrible, I
don't know. If his phone is always I don't
just mean during dinner, but like always face down DND if his
phone's on, DND whenever you're. Really, my phone's working.
And he keeps it like this. I'm not talking about you, I'm
talking about mint, right? It's always in his pocket.
It's always a way. Whenever it's like he's showing
you something, you see the little moon in the corner.
It's always down. Because I was.
Going to say how'd you even know it's on DND?
The moon in the corner. You know what I find to be a red
flag is the privacy screen. Really.
Yeah. Once I started getting flamed on
socials, I was like, I feel like I need that cuz I feel like I'm
gonna be out in public and like somebody's gonna catch me doing
something crazy on a plane behind me, like texting someone
or something. So I got one, but it lasted.
Me. Look at my phone, women.
Call crack dishes. That's a red flag to me if a
man's phone, to me, if a man's phone is all cracked up, red
flag, red flag. I don't like it.
I'm like what are you a mess?
Be a woman's? Did you get drunk and pull down
the stairs like? Me, me and you.
Look at your arm. This was not me being drunk.
I was wearing sandals because I was out from brunch and it was a
whole long day and the floor was slippery so I should have been
wearing heels. He said I would do brunch.
I know exactly what happened up front.
No. Anyway, literally I had one last
one. I wasn't even drunk.
I wish I had been drunk, it might have hurt.
I'm going to say these like very rapid fire.
Are you ready? I won't even respond.
I'll just. Go I know we have to end soon
goes to Burning Man they pay for the little blue check mark on
Instagram has entrepreneur in his bio Are you ready for this
one yes has a podcast that's. For girls, that's for girls.
Girls talk on camera. Yapping is for girls.
Yapping is for girls, talking to a mic for girls, clipping videos
for socials for girls. Calls himself a high value man.
EW, OK, so that's some of the red blood red.
Pill red pill red pill shit opens with hey you I'm actually
throwing up right now I'm. Actually throwing up.
Thanks, I'm nauseous. Flexes his Amex and other cards
but splits the check. EW, with who?
With you? With me, Not me.
And lets you split the check on the first date.
Who are you dating? I'm not saying this happening.
OK, good. Well, actually I think no,
really no, that hasn't happened. I can't.
It's happened to be on a second date.
Begin to imagine how awkward that would be.
I just I got to a point in my life where I was like, this is
crazy. You're asking me to go out with
you. Why would ioffer a person
you're? Asking yeah, like you wanted me
here. Also.
Like my makeup cost way more than this dinner.
I'm spending three hours to get ready.
Yeah, my outfit's expensive. I'm making you look good, yeah.
Beyond that too, it's just like you asked me out on a date.
I can't even how? Would I pay for that?
You ordered a steak and I got a salad.
Like what's going on? That did happening with the
boyfriend and I think that did it to me.
That really did it for me. He was an EPO baby and had more
than enough to pay for whatever he wanted, and it didn't affect
him in any means. Yeah, and we'd go out to
wonderful dinners and he would order like a fucking tomahawk.
And I would get a chicken Caesar and I would put my car down and
he would let me. And we'd split it.
And then after that I was like no more.
It's just like, why even go to dinner at that point?
Because now dinner is a turn off.
I could have just post painted myself food and yeah, it doesn't
offer you water when you come over.
Only offers you water when you come over.
Only sends voice notes. Only sends voice notes.
Like he's only communicating through text via voice note.
See, I think I would like if a man.
I like when a man sends me voice notes when they have a good
voice. I do too, but like exclusively.
Why can't you think as it disappears?
Oh. My God, I didn't even think
about that. It just.
Like that was my immediate thought.
Yeah, it's disappearing. So now you're just talking to.
You. Yeah.
They just want to see like, yeah, So they could show it to
their boys. Like, look at this girl's
obsessed with me. Yeah.
OK, and ironically says the word alpha.
No. Red pill talk.
If a man has Snapchat by the way.
Has a pull up bar in his doorway and it's there when you get to
his house. OK, I think my dad is also a red
flag. Yeah, so is mad drinks raw milk.
EW, I don't know anyone who does that but drinks milk drinks milk
drinks milk is bad. OK, final one drives off before
making sure that you get safe inside your home.
EW, way to be an asshole. OK wait I have one.
Also opens the door for you but then doesn't help you out of the
car and just stands there looking at their phone while
you're getting your ass out of the car looking at them like OK.
OK, I think it's really sweet and a lot of girls don't get it.
They're like you're so old fashioned.
But I think it's really sweet when men open the door.
I open the door for my girls and I stand there and I hold my hand
out and I treat them like a damn Princess as they get out of the
car. I think it's because I, I'm from
the South, but something about it, like if you don't like or
also have dated men that go around the car and open the door
quickly and I'm like, it's very sweet.
Like I like being treated that way.
Very gentle and sweet. If you don't do it, it's not the
end of the world. But like I do notice I.
Fucking notice. You know what's a red flag?
When you're out with a guy and his friends, and the guy's
friends are the ones that help you out of the car.
I've had that happen a lot. I have.
It happens so many times. Yeah, you're like, OK.
And I'm like, are you not embarrassed?
As a man, you should be embarrassed.
Thanks for attending our very drunk session of Red Flags and
to that I wish you a wonderful lead up to Valentine's.
Day and the color of Valentine's Day.
Good luck, Good luck.